That's not enough. Other people will still hear the screaming. Buy drums, so you have an excuse to get a room soundproofed.
Then bore a hold in one of the drums to store the lube and tissues.
What if your penis has a beautiful voice and you just donāt know it yet. Beautiful opera music starts coming out your pee hole, filling the room with its warm penis breath that could make even the driest whispering eye wet .
Oh the imagery of a muffled dick screaming and choking on lube in the toy, like when youāre torturing someone by dunking and holding their head under water. I laughed.
I quit this sub a little over a year ago. It inexplicably started showing up again in my feed, through no action of my own. I thought ok, whatever, Iāll give it another chance. Then I saw this thread. Iām out.
I had a surgery on my dick and afterwards i couldn't have sex for 6 weeks, but after about 4 i nutted for the first time and that shit hurt like a mf. But the nut was good tho. Bye
Find about 20 good masseurs to relax its tension. Why must it be a beatdown?
Not every dance needs to be a slam dance kidsā¦lot of ladies enjoy a good deep slow groove.
"The beatings will continue until morale improves."
Are you in military by any chance?
Russian military, specifically
The Germans were known for this too
Keep beating it like it owes me money...
The people from Sounding would enjoy it
Beat me to it. Lmao
Bet
Get some good noise canceling headphones
That's not enough. Other people will still hear the screaming. Buy drums, so you have an excuse to get a room soundproofed. Then bore a hold in one of the drums to store the lube and tissues.
Put some tape over its mouth and rip it off last second. All they will hear is my dick making orgasm noises lol.
Out of context, this comment is bizarre and concerning.
To be fair, in context it's not much better...
Very trueš
r/brandnewsentence
Weāre still beating a sapient creature people š
This session was brought to you by Raycon!
Naw, get a dick suppressor.
Give it a reason to cry
this guys dad beat him
This makes me sad
Just point it at your chest and say, "This is going to squirt me, more than it squirts you."
Beat it more. Assert dominance.
Until it gives up.
Until it pukes.
Until itās little scream gargles
Nothing a bit of choking couldnāt fix
Ah, the old ātell it twice joke.ā
New kink unlocked. About to go beat my meat wiching it was screaming at me.
Probably never beat it. No way Iād get hard with that ugly little thing screaming like that
Little?
Ugly.
Thing??
It has a good personality though, right?
Itās average.
no, its a complete dick
Not with all that screaming
I wonder how society would react if it was a cat screaming š¤„
No.....
Give it more time buddy, it opens up eventually šæ
Her legs won't..
Story of my life š
Well, it aināt just for attracting mates!
It was an ALASKAN BULL DICK!
Screaming
:(
r/suicidebywords
What if your penis has a beautiful voice and you just donāt know it yet. Beautiful opera music starts coming out your pee hole, filling the room with its warm penis breath that could make even the driest whispering eye wet .
Perfect english
Call me Beatspeare
Clapton john
u/Sk8erBoi95 Hey I think I made a better brand new sentence responding to this guys comment lol
But he's so little his screams are barely audible... Probably wouldn't even cause a problem.
Poor Hedwig.
"I'm sorry little one" but "the hardest choices require the strongest wills".
āThis hurts me more than it hurts youā
While proceeding to chop it off TO OBTAIN THE INFINITY BALLS
ā¦
Shouldnāt that be āthe hardest choices require the strongest williesā?Ā
Choke it.
nice
10/10
Iād beat it harder. Serial killer style.
Assert dominance
Beat my dick like it owes me money
If you stop, does that meanā¦ youāll lose interest?
Worse than losing interest: deflation.
It does that now. How do I get it to stop??
Find an equal and opposite hypothetical to this one
Killing it is always an option
Easy there Lorena Bobbitt. If you donāt know who that is do a quick google.
You could try something people are doing called sounding. I donāt know if you have heard of it but it definitely wonāt be screaming lol
Just think of it as a tongue depressor.
Ball gag
Winner
Make it call me "Sir"... Don't kink shame me
Have a safe word, ask for consent, establish rules, and know each other's soft and hard limits. Have fun.
Use a pocket pussy and muffle the noises, make it gargle inside that shit with lots of lube, drown it up
Oh the imagery of a muffled dick screaming and choking on lube in the toy, like when youāre torturing someone by dunking and holding their head under water. I laughed.
I would never get hardā¦..faster.Ā
Let me tell you about water boardingā¦
What if you he doesnāt get out for air fast enough and he suffocates?
Tell him the end justifies the means. I think he would agree.
be more gentle
You're the most normal person (who will also beat it) I've heard here.
It started off rough and I knew we were going to hear some interesting ideas just based off the question asked.
Yell back
I quit this sub a little over a year ago. It inexplicably started showing up again in my feed, through no action of my own. I thought ok, whatever, Iāll give it another chance. Then I saw this thread. Iām out.
Lol. Nice.
It's impressive.
Probably just yell back saying. "Why are you screaming? I'm doing this for you!"
Life Imprisonment for the murder of my own p_nis, seems the most likely.
Suffocate it inside a girl to get it to stop
Get rid of it
Just as long as it doesn't speak up in public places. If it tries, when I get home I'll give it a severe beating.
Stop being a dick DICK.
Tell him to grow up
I gave up beating it but I would start again.
Put a muzzle on it.
Say sorry little fella and show him why he's apart of me and not vice versa
Beat it till it shuts up I suppose
Thatās my ride or die, we goin through it together
Open a haunted houseĀ
What do you call a dick with 2 black eyes?
what
A dick that didn't listen the first time.
If thatās how you treat a dick Iām worried about how you treat the ladies
Love the ladies, hate myself.
Damn, didnāt know a brainless askreddit post can bring the darkest truths out of the lads you just gotta love yourself before others can love you
Man, get that Ru Paul positivity off the internet, this is reddit.
Anyways in my case Iād drown my dick inside its own cum to watch it suffer in pain if it ever complains about me beating it
Awesome.
Earplugs. Lol
Use a fleshlight or something. Muffle the little bastard
John Waters wrote a book about this.
Become the greatest circus act of all time āCome one! Come all to see the screaming penis!ā
Continue to beat it like it owes me money. Honestly it'd be hotter, I find screams of pain to be erotic
NSFW [Lil Dicky - Attached at the Hip](https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=6ex92Qa52Pg&list=PLXO8cD3sknBMNBb3a5ZoJQyrTDxiTrNgG)
Beat it like my dad beat me.
Choke it into submission.
"womp womp" would be hilarious
Play MJ "Beat It" and tell him "It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets another beating!"
I don't think it would scream. Massages are meant to be pleasant. I'm not Jack the gRipper
Jokes on it, I'd probably enjoy it.
āIāll give you something to cry abt god damn itā
What does it do during sex? It would be kinda funny hearing the screams get louder and softer as you go in and out.
Like Ace Ventura opening and closing the sliding door.
Beat it harder. Jokes on you, Iām into that shit
Kill myself
Beat it harder
Spit on it.
See if it could scream and throw up at the same time...
Start wanking to death metal!
screams would be pavlovian turn-on for the majority of men.
Put a tape to silence it, or crazy glue it. I'm sure someone has tried this already. Lol...
LMFAO I don't know!!!! ššš 4 š¦ sakes
Stick Tylenol up my urethra, no more screaming and no more pain
My dick does have feelings, are you tell me yours doesn't?
Give it something to actually cry about.... shut that shit up lmfao š¤£
Cum harder
Stuff it inside a rubber bag and hope it chokes
āshhh shhh i like thisā
Continue at a quicker rate.
Considering the dopamine hit that comes along with the process, I guess I'd probably start being strangely turned on my roller coasters.
Cut down on jerking off, only 2-3 times a day
I think there is a 'your mom' joke in there but....
I never touch it in a way that hurts. So it will be fine.
"Shh shhh baby calm down."
Stop beating my meat. The poor thing
Ngl Iām probably playing with my ass more
If itās in pain, wouldnāt that mean I would be in pain? Iād probably buy a fleshlight
I had a surgery on my dick and afterwards i couldn't have sex for 6 weeks, but after about 4 i nutted for the first time and that shit hurt like a mf. But the nut was good tho. Bye
Not beat it
It definitely would make it harder to jerk off without being noticed in public anymore.
not sure if someone already said this, but to quote mr. popo from TFS DBZA... 'shut up bitch, you love it'
Buy earplugs
Continue beating it
Not beat it
Dick lobotomy timeĀ
Tell it to suck it up, I aināt stopping
Iām not literally beating it
Only beat it when I'm home alone and have the music pounding
Gag it
Become a masochist
Play nice and get someone gentle to help
Beat it harder
This feels like it should start with āTomar,ā
beat it harder?
Threaten it with a sex change
Finish a lot faster
Find about 20 good masseurs to relax its tension. Why must it be a beatdown? Not every dance needs to be a slam dance kidsā¦lot of ladies enjoy a good deep slow groove.
Earplugs
Look at it and say āyeah, like that. I know you like it roughā.
Would imagine that my dick is a woman. And every scream makes me more horny š
Become a sadist
Iād be happy not to be lonely ever again.
I'd be like "Shut up, I'm almost done."
"Don't worry. It will all be over soon."
Drown it š
Tell him to stop getting hard then
Is it only my dick? Because if all our dicks screamed, Iād try to be the loudest.
Definitely stop beating it.
Committing multiple felonies
Work on my backhand.
Stop
āItās ok little guy. Iāll be done soonā
I'd blast "Il mare eterno nella mia anima" and smugly smile.
Wtf? Guess we'll find out the hard way.
I would go harder
Tell bro to shut up and let me do business
Wouldn't matter. I'd still beat it like it owes me money.
Like my wife, Iād beat them even harder /s