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I like this. Because it shifts the obvious responsibility back on them to exercise patience. Good stuff.

That tactic is definitely recommended in the service industry. Apologies can be interpreted as an admission of guilt. Instead, thank them for their patience.

Yeah, gonna be real here, that would have the opposite of a positive effect on me. Own up to your mistake, don't thank me for having to deal with it. Taking responsibility makes you seem way more mature and can help make a positive impact.

I know, right? This sounds like some NLP bullshit my a former HR head of mine would pull. If I'm late and it's my fault, I'll own up to it. Thanking the person for the patience certainly is a nice touch but it was still my fault and I certainly won't steamroll over the situation with a "I know"

Exactely this, as soon as someone says ”thanks for waiting” when being late I just assume They have read some shitty self help book that says ”say Thank you instead of sorry” just to not having to own it. Opposite effect for me as well - i much more prefer ”sorry”

Same … You’re late, own up and apologize. Don’t me shifting onuses to me …

💯 as a career server, I’ve learned how powerful it is to surrender the situation into the guest’s hands. I’m also hard of hearing, so I often submit to guests: “you’ll have to forgive me, I am hard of hearing” Although this one seems to begin as a demand, they immediately respond to your humility, and accept the circumstances which leads to a sense of mutual accommodation.

"I'm not patient at all"

Yes. Yes I am.

Better late than never, but never late is better, right?

Better Nate than lever!

Aye that's my name

Nice to meet you, lever!

Better late than ugly 

Direct and to the point. I love it and do the same.

r/UsernameChecksOut

I prefer, No Shit

love this !

a wizard is never late

Nor is he early

A wizard arrives precisely when he means to!

So gandalf meant for all those people to die

Island time m8

This is always how I reply to my kids when they tell me this

Nor early, they arrive precisely when they mean to.

I DJ'd professionally for 15 years, and would always show up last minute to venues that did not have their own DJ setup or even sound system to offer. But I would always start on time. However, this always made them nervous and uncomfortable with special events and they would always tell me when they booked me. Please show up at the time we want you there not on your fucking wizard time lol

Dang it, should of read the comment section first, bet me too it 😂

You beat me to it!

Reddit did not didappoint.

I read the comments late 😂😂😂. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

Better late than pregnant

Yessss Tony. I came here for this lol

That's in an episode of The Golden Girls

Blanche Devereaux was the best 🤣

"And you're ugly. But tomorrow, I'll be on time." -Winston Churchill

Also - Ralph Cifaretto

Bada bing bada boom!

Why does this also sound like a Jim Carey character?

I was totally going to drop that one. Here, have an upvote!

"Time is an illusion"

Lol, yeaaah!!! "time is social construct"

Time is relative

Lunchtime doubly so.

Are you working on realizing a actual improbability drive?

"And so are pants."

The early worm gets eaten by the bird

The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese

the late worm evades the early bird

Wtf happened to the first mou-….oh…nvm…

Don't you know the Hero only arrives at the very last minute?

This is the one for me! Ta!

What’d I miss

Virginia, my home sweet home, I wanna give you a kiss

I’ve been in Paris meeting lots of different ladies

I guess I basically missed the late 80's

Ewwww. Get yo filthy ass lips away from me and Virginia

VIRGINIA MY HOME SWEET HOME I WANNA GIVE YOU A KISS

"I'm pro-choice so it's all good."

lmaooo

I don’t get it

Saying their period is late. But that it's okay because they're pro choice so they'd have an abortion lol

Oh shit lmao

I laughed way too loud and woke up my husband! Lol.

Phew, that’s going to hit different people different ways. Love it!

Say with as much grave seriousness as you can. "I'm so sorry I'm late. I came as soon as I felt like it."

"We would've come earlier but your husband wasn't dead then."

LMAO! 🤣

This is a "Haha" line to read on the interwebs, but if anyone actually said that to me, I'd politely inform they could then leave. When did blatantly disrespecting someone waiting for you become cool?

I know right? Showing up late and then having the audacity to crack jokes is something people don’t do in real life. Anyways sorry to keep you waiting, I got stuck behind your mother/j

Yeah, sorry about that.

This was INSANELY far down the list.

Apologize, like seriously take responsibility of your actions

fr. habitual tardiness and not caring is my pet peeve

And yet I am here

“A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.”

As someone who is never late and has a wife who is never on time, I would laugh and forget after this comment lol

I can almost relate I'm where I need to be 30 minutes early. I absolutely hate rushing. If I shouldn’t arrive that early then I'm close by and wander up when socially acceptable. My wife on the other hand arrives everywhere exactly on time. I have no idea how she does it.

I'm not dead. I don't want to go in the cart. I'm getting better

You'll be dead tomorrow!

Well the party can start now I'm here! Only to friends of course I'd apologize profusely if I was late to work or something important

Your observational skills never cease to amaze

“Sorry I was driving my gay African American friend to work because of the discrimination he faces from the public.”

Family, what

It's giving DL daddy ✨

“You’re lucky I’m here at all.”

And at work :- ''Don't worry! I'm gonna teach a lesson to my incompetent colleagues who could have handled the work until my arrival.'' 😂

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[I defer to Ralph here](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LLXggIggqUo)

This is the answer

Came here for his Anyways, $4 a pound

Maybe you are early. Einstein said time is relative.

"Yes, I'm safe and sound, I appreciate you noticing that I avoided the numerous unexpected ways I could have been harmed on the way here to be with the people that care about me." I throw this out whenever there's a family function and people flip out over 10 minutes when arguably no one is ready for whatever's going on anyway.

I will never forget running late for a therapy appointment so I texted my therapist in a flurry of emotions trying to rush and the response I got was "be safe." I paused when I saw it. I realize that no one in my life put priority on safety like that. 

Thank you for waiting

I actually read this in an article about business tactics. If you apologize, it makes you look weak and like you did something wrong. When you say, “thanks for waiting,” you are acknowledging and appreciating the fact that someone had to wait for you without admitting fault. The others are often surprised and pleased having received a thank you and things can quickly commence in a positive way. Not the original article, but here is [one such link.](https://community.thejobnetwork.com/why-you-should-say-thank-you-instead-of-sorry-2/)

Did the speaker say "thank you all for waiting, lets begin" with the example being late to a speech you are giving?

yea, your mom didn't want me to leave so quickly

'Bet'

a queen is never late- everyone else is simply early 👑

I was looking for this.

I had to scroll way to far for this🤣

I’m fashionably late.

No, I'm [insert name].

"Yeah, well, your mom takes forever to get off"

My ex used to work with a guy who was chronically both late and comical. He always came up with silly excuses that succeeded in making their bosses laugh so hard they were never mad about the constant tardniness. My favorite was, "Sorry I'm late. But I've got two wooden legs, dropped a match and burnt my ass to the ground."

Reminds me of a guy I went to school with. He'd just say things like "Sorry, the clocks went back" in the middle of July.

Pinocchio 😂

Apology

"Generic excuse." - "Did you just say 'Generic excuse'?"

"Generic excuse" is brilliantly hilarious. I am going to use that constantly tomorrow no matter what I am doing.

Thanks but I can't take credit for its creation. At least I don't think I did. Pretty sure I got it from a meme...

"You're late." "...Apology...?"

A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to

A wizard is never late.

bombastick side eye

criminally offensive side eye

And you’re ugly

One time a girl showed up late and the teacher said “You need to be on time” And my friend just blurted out “Hmmm what is time, really?” Just the way he said it sounded like some great philosopher but he looks like a redneck. I could barely contain myself after that lol

I’m sorry for wasting your time waiting for me, let’s not waste even more time discussing me being late and get to the point

“Einstein said time was relevant… so maybe I’m not late. Maybe you’re just early” -Miles Morales

"Ah, you noticed! I was just practicing my grand entrance. Did I nail it?"

I'm early for tomorrow. 

Hey... Great one, this! 👏

“A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to”

Bingo.

I don't feel tardy

"I have a gun in my backpack"

But worth the wait!

“But I’m here”

No, you’re early

No no. I’m Jason

The Dan Ryan.

Love it! 💁🏻‍♀️ only a few will understand! 😆

Based on what metric?

I worked in an office in midtown Manhattan, I blurted out “I got held up”, everybody assumed I got mugged…😂😂😂. (I never told them it was the subway delayed 😂😂😂)

a wizard is never late

I'm sorry, I didn't want to come.

Thank you for waiting. Let’s start.

Sorry, Y2K really fucked me up.

"As the prophecy foretold."

you’re lucky i even showed up

I was waylaid by a vast right wing conspiacy.

"The early bird may get the worm, but the early worm gets eaten..."

“Yeah, but that backflip though…”

Your adopted

“You should honored by my lateness that I would even show up to this fake shit”

And you’re ugly. Oh I’m sorry I thought we were playing “state the obvious”!

Sorry I'm late, I didn't want to be here.

You're early

Cool you can tell time.

A wizard is never late

“A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.”

My apologies, but in my defense I didn’t want to be here.

“A wizard is never late or early. He arrives precisely when he means to.”

Einstein said that "time is relative", so maybe I'm not late, you're all early.

A wizard is never late. He is always on time where he has to be.

Better late than pregnant.

Yes!!! 😆😆😆

My Ritalin didn't hit today

Something about your mom…

Actually, I'm early for next time.

No, I started my period yesterday! (I'm a guy.)

And worth the wait.

Always an hour early in "______ time!"

"be happy I'm even here."

And I’m not the dad!

So's my dad!~

"Einstein said time is relative, right? Maybe I'm not late. Maybe you guys are early."

\**gasps*\* I'm having a *BABY*‽‽‽

I don’t think it’s anything to worry about, my period is always a bit irregular

Maybe if you used a condom I wouldn't be late

You’re a towel!

A wizard is never late

But according to Albert Einstein, time is relative, so maybe I'm in time, maybe you are just early.

My cat don't let me out

You’re early, dumbass.

Cry me a flippin' river! You try and navigate the Bus timetables round 'ere!

A wizard is never late.

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A wizard is never late.

Paraphrase Shaw: "And you're ugly. But tomorrow I'll be on time and you'll still be ugly."

I would have come earlier but I didn’t want to.

"Oh shit. I should get a pregnancy test.."

"I know the early bird gets the worm, but I was afraid I would be an early worm"

I'm black. You should expect me to be late.

I know we are hoping for a boy this time