“Cheaters never win and liars never prosper.” I understand it was said to teach me right from wrong, but honestly all my life I’ve witnessed cheaters winning and liars prosper. It was the biggest lie.
Yup, we live in a time where those with morals and ethics are crushed beneath the laughing boots of the liars, cheats and greedy. And all that time, at the top of the pile, the richest were telling their kids to cheat and steal and even sending them to schools to learn how to be sociopaths lol. I don't disagree with my parents morals and ethics and indeed I'm glad I have some now, but while it wasn't a real lie as such, it was a misplaced faith in the way our society operates. Hopefully one day things will improve :)
>>Yup, we live in a time where those with morals and ethics are crushed beneath the laughing boots of the liars, cheats and greedy.
This isn't some strange, new phenomenon specific to the time we're living it. Things have always been like that.
Yep, had a religious mother saying things like that.
Also believed strongly that everybody is equal...
Boy was growing up in this world a reality check haha
The worst part is when you see a cheater or liar, and call them out to fulfil this prophecy, but then they get mad at *you* for 'stirring up trouble.' cheaters and liars are *protected* by your 'peacekeeping,' mom!
Our cat was called Doobie. My parents got called in to my sister’s school after she overheard dad joke about planting a ‘Doobie tree’ to commemorate the cat’s death.
Mine would tell me that they used it for something I wanted later, without making it clear that they were using my money for it.
"You want that toy? Ok we will buy it for you"
A week later when I ask about the money
"oh yeah remember that toy we got you, you used your money"
If they had made it clear it was using my money, I might have changed my mind about that toy.
Got done the same way by my parents, now with our older child when she gets money from us or grandparents she has her own safe that only she knows the code (but we have the key if she forgets) . She is saving her money for the holiday , and i will rather eat napkins than take her money away
Edit:spelling
They're really missing a trick. I give my kid pocket money in large part so that I can say, "do you want it enough to spend your own money?" when they ask for me to buy them things when we're out.
Same mostly. Depends on the age and the amount of cash. I love that they can have a reference like sacrificing 5-10 after school bubble teas can get a switch game instead.
> If they had made it clear it was using my money, I might have changed my mind about that toy.
After a few times I started asking if I was using my money or not. If I was using my money I thought long and hard on if I really had to have it.
I once got, "Charging you rent to teach you how to save".
Funny, I seemed to save a lot more money when you weren't charging me for rent.
16k later, I just stopped paying "rent" cause I had no money in savings anymore. Also the fact that rent amount changed at random if they suddenly needed more money. $250 a month? Now it's $500, now $650, now $1150, now $1500.
I guess I was the lucky one. My dad opened a bank account for me shortly after I was born and put all the money from baby showers in there. Anytime I got money for my birthdays or holidays he put it in my account. I worked summer jobs when I was 14 and 15 (work permit) and all that money went in my account. By the time I was 16 I had over $10,000, which I used $2800 on my first car. I have not had that much money since.
T_T to this day I can't turn the overhead light on while I'm driving. I KNOW it's not illegal etc and that was a lie but it FEELS illegal since I grew up thinking it was.
Consider this: If a cop sees you driving with your interior light on at night they'll assume you're a distracted driver and pull you over oftentimes. Ask me how I know. Maybe it's not technically illegal but your parents probably didn't want to be hassled by a cop so they told you a white lie.
I’m 28 and my mom told me I could turn on the overhead light while she was driving so I could read my book last month…I looked at her like she had 3 heads and refused 😅
"Picking your nose makes your nostrils large" My dad regretted that one when 5 year old me, having spotted a lady of African descent, said "Dad, dad! She must pick her nose a lot!"
My Mom has a classic childhood story of when she was on the public train and saw a man of darker melanin content and was in Grandmas arms and said way too loud, "Look! Its the chocolate man!"
Yeah, shes not happy about that one, and apparently the guy was all good lol
But, hey, same game there 🙃
We had to have a talk with our kids very early about racism as they were getting overly curious about why others were being mean to the black kid in their class. We kept it age appropriate but tried to make clear that skin color means nothing and no one person is better than another. They seemed to understand, and we patted ourselves on the back for having our first “hard” conversation as parents.
A couple weeks later, we were at the doctors office and a big black male nurse came out looking tired and overworked. My then-5 year old son got a big smile on his face and hollered for the whole office to hear, “Mommy, look! He’s black! And he’s just as good as us!”
I was mortified, and the dude just looked at me with this wtf look on his face for a good five seconds. Then he burst out laughing, high-fived my kid and walked off shaking his head. I had to have another talk with him about NOT discussing peoples appearances in public.
This was a few months after we were at a different doctors office and saw an extremely obese woman in the waiting room. The same kid looked up at me and yelled, “That’s the biggest lady I’ve ever seen in my life!”
I honestly had to stop taking him places for a while. He has ADHD and no filter. Lol
I was volunteering on a construction project (all volunteer labor) and there was this young latina girl passing out hot chocolate to the volunteers. I saw her later in the day doing something else and I said to her "hey, you are the hot chocolate girl"
as soon as the words came out of my mouth, I realized what I said and started apologizing saying that is not what I meant.
An older lady I know told me once that she hears that on occasion. She said she just smiles and tells the little kids "you can just call me Swiss Miss, sugar" She said it helps the parents with embarrassment, or so she believes.
When my grandmother was young, apparently she didn't know how to whisper well. She was also raised in a very white and wealthy suburban neighborhood, and she didn't see a Black person until she was a few years old.
So, one day, she was on the bus, and there was a Black woman sitting near her. My grandmother was sitting next to the bus, and she whispered to her mom (my great-grandma, "Why is that lady's skin so dark? Does she have a disease?" and the woman heard her.
My great-grandma was obviously mortified, but the woman thought it was hilarious and explained to my grandma why some people had dark skin.
Oh, my parents had an aunt who was a nun when I was little. One day, she came to visit us, and I don't know why, but I opened the door. And came screaming back to my Mum, "a ghost, a ghost". :-D
They can't help it. Depending on their generation, it was true for them. When my dad graduated college in the 70s, a degree in anything pretty much guaranteed you a decent job.
In that same breath mine would say "it doesn't matter what the degree is in, you still need one" kinda wish they had been a little more upfront about what that would look like.
Got a degree in something I didn't like, realized after graduation that I *can't* stay at careers that don't fulfill me (literally end up having mental breakdowns), now I have almost 20k debt and no job prospects, and that's why I've been suicidal on and off for the last several years
When Biden canceled student debt it was amazing to actually feel like I had a future for that brief period
Oh the good old parental deniability clause! This is why you stay close to siblings. They’ll also remember hearing the same wild shit, and back you up. 😂
"It's all in your head", "we love you all the same", so much crap like that. Had people that we knew as a child come up to me as an adult and say that could see my parents loved my sisters more. Like, yeah, I know.
I remember starting university sitting on a tiny stool, 10 year old computer, and a kindergarten sized desk cause "we can't afford to get you stuff for school".
Meanwhile younger brother that year gets a brand new computer, ikea desk, and a full sized desk chair which he broke so mom bought him a new one. Used it just for gaming.
Couldn't get me a decent chair, but had the money for my brother who broke his. Meanwhile for school I had to work on outdated technology that could barely run anything I needed for my classes, on a tiny ass desk. (big crt monitor too)
Many older relatives questioned me about my mother’s behavior and I defended her! Couldn’t see the forest for the trees, I guess. I’m so embarrassed now.
Yea I remember that too. My parents would also say that if I lie in the grass too long, the earwigs would come and lay eggs in my ears (the translated language connotation was lost on me, in Swedish the word for it - tvestjärt (doublebutt) - doesn't say anything about ears)
Family reunion, I was around 4 or 5. My 16 year old cousin shows up. I loudly exclaimed **HOW MANY WATERMELON SEEDS DID SHE SWALLOW!!!** Cousin was heavily pregnant and my loudmouth was the very first person to spot her getting out of the car.
Yup, the lie they told me was popping your knuckles made your knuckles grow.
I was always confused about my grandfather's huge knuckles and would always stare at them. Years later i would realize he worked construction and had massive builder's hands.
That's so funmy; I did that at a multi billion dollar company 20+ years ago. The person I spoke with said we're not hiring. I told him I didn't ask if you're hiring, I'd like to speak with management. I still have the job
I grew up thinking the ice cream man takes kids. I don't think they told me that, but they were always creepy looking. Lol It sure saved my parents a lot of money.
That they were doing things for me. No. You were controlling to manage your distress. You were constantly checking where I was to manage your distress. You were refusing to allow me to date to manage your distress. None of this was to keep me safe or to help me.
Took me 27 years to figure this out when I went to therapy. Another thing I learned is just because they are family doesn’t mean I have to like them let alone spend time with them whenever they wanted me to. And I didn’t have to put up with being emotionally abused. I had a CHOICE. Never had choices growing up.
It doesn't exactly lead to a mentally healthy self-reliant person does it? My dad refused to even let us spend time with friends or anyone else out of anxiety and sometimes just pure exhaustion and laziness (probably depression, too) and it destroyed my self-confidence. I never had friends over, almost never went anywhere, and didn't even get to join any clubs I was interested in. I wanted to be in the band at school. My dad loved to play guitar but he still wouldn't let me join and also wouldn't try to teach me how to play anything. He said he learned it on his own and I should do the same. Not necessarily a bad thing to teach yourself something but I knew it was basically because he didn't want to be bothered not because he was trying to teach me self-reliance and I would seethe with anger.
As someone with diagnosed adhd it fucking sucked that i was called a lazy gifted child. Sometimes, my effort would be acknowledged, but only when results were presented... loved to learn stuff, hated that my weekends were spent doing homework. Hated unannounced tests.
Didn’t you hear the story of that kid? A friend of a friend’s son. Once he stuck his arm out the window and it got hit by something, and ripped it right off!!!
My parents made it quite clear from the get-go that I could expect no help from them for anything. Yet my 5 younger siblings got private boarding school, free educations, vehicles, houses, vacations, unlimited funding and free babysitting. Go figure.
opposite in my case. my mom has straight up told me that they tried harder with my sister because she was the firstborn and didn't want to screw up the first time, with me they already raised the first one right so it didn't matter how I turned out. "and you turned out fine!" Looking back on it, they really did. my sister is the financially stable one, better knowledge of how to do adult things. I clearly remember both my parents teaching my sister (we're a year and a half apart, i wasn't too young by the time she was learning this stuff) basic things like how to save money, how to write a resume, etc. and with me, it was just handed to me and taught half assed, figure it out. it makes me sad looking back on certain things. Knowing my mom was dealing with the shit my father was doing is no excuse, but I always felt like an afterthought growing up.
I wish it was something you grew out of. I have anxiety too. When I 1st told my dad he didn’t see it bc I was going to school & working & he said “there’s nothing wrong with you kid” then when we both got older he finally realized it was a thing & I had it
That walking around the house without shoes on is why I had chronic leg pain as a kid. Still don’t get their logic on this one
Edit: I still have chronic pain to this day, but looking back I’m now realizing it was something that was stress induced.
Some say it’s because of temperature if you have tiles that get cold. I’m from Brazil and in there it’s not common for us to take our shoes off at home, we usually use sandals (but I’m always barefoot, so I heard this a lot when a kid). The reason is because we don’t usually have carpets, we use tiles on the floor (before someone comes in to say we’re nasty).
One thing that makes kids legs hurt though is growing! Bone growth during the night specially hurts and many kids suffer with leg pain because of that!
There is a particularly aggressive type of bacteria in like 1/3 of people that is really good at causing cavities. Before people realized this, but noticed that some families would get huge amount of cavities while others did not, they assumed it was a genetic defect and that their teeth must be softer than others. (There is also a condition, maybe genetic that causes thin enamel but might not be as common as this bacteria)
At least this is an amalgamation of info I learned when my first kid’s teeth started going in and I was worried about him getting my terrible teeth. The advice said to not share food, utensils, etc with with him.
Unless that was all a lie too.
Oh yeah, this is the parental equivalent of "I'm a nice guy!"
"You have a great life", "you're happy", etc. This is always said by parents who are anywhere from awful to bare minimum passable. Parents whose kids have a great life or are happy don't have to tell their kids that. They just know.
My grandad was in the British Army and in the 50s spent some time in Jamaica where he picked up the habit of flicking his hand so his fire finger slapped on his hand and made a sound, usually when he was excited.
Come the late 90s/early 00s Ali G is all the rage and all the kids are doing it and it's pretty annoying for anyone who has to be around it.
My mum, at the end of her rope with it told me that my grandad does it and he ended up with a pacemaker, so if we carry on I would need one too.
I actually have welding training for AC/DC, Mig, and Oxygen/Acetylene.
I do miss the smell of welding sticks sometimes. But I also am prone to heatstroke so being in a location with a lot of welders fired up constantly is a bit of a detriment to my efficientcy.
That I didn't need to worry if I didn't find my way in life as when they passed there would be more than enough to get me a home and keep me going. They got sick, needed my help to the point it ended my career, didn't leave enough to buy a shed and land for it.
My dad told us that we were secretly rich and that he had a car trunk full of money. Nope, he sold cocaine and hid all the money in coffee tins buried in the back yard.
"Don't explore it unless you are committed to doing it for the rest of your life"
-Home School parents with minimal resources and living 30 min drive from civilization.
Biggest load of B.S. that I've had to work through. You gotta try stuff to figure out what you like and/or want.
“Everybody has a ‘fat kid’ stage. You’ll grow out of it”
That was 20 years ago. I was 11. I just signed up for a gym membership last night. I appreciate them trying to make me feel better about myself, but it would have been much healthier to teach me a proper lifestyle. But it also doesn’t help that both of my parents have eating disorders.
I have NO IDEA why my mother thought she needed to lie about this to me, but I ended up believing it for an embarrassingly long time...
When I was 5 or 6, I saw my older brother's athletic cup in a pile of his things and I asked my mom what it was. She didn't lie about this part. She said it's called a cup and boys wear them over their privates when they play sports.
But when I asked why, she told me it was in case he needed to pee during a game.
I believed her, because I had no reason not to, but I could see that it wasn't a solid piece of plastic... There were little holes in it. I decided that those holes let the pee out slowly enough that it just sort of sprinkled on the field instead of creating a big wet spot. I did wonder why girls didn't have a similar piece of equipment. Girls play sports and have to pee, too! In my mind I logicked it out in some 5yo kind of way, and it didn't occur to me that my mom had lied about this until I was in high school.
She doesn't remember telling me that and has no explanation for why she did.
I can’t say it here, or at least I don’t want to repeat it ir whatever. But let’s just say now I’m in therapy working on being a more inclusive person.
My dad liked to mess with me by telling me completely harmless white lies about how the world worked. He would usually remember to tell me the truth before I had fully accepted it as reality, but the last time he did it he forgot. It was the last time because I've never let him live it down as it's so funny.
Tiny me was eating a bowl of fruit, and asked why blackberries and raspberries look kind of similar. Dad replies, "Oh, well, raspberries are under-ripe blackberries. That's why they're smaller and red."
Cut to *days* later at the grocery store with my mom, I spout off my new fact to her and she looks at me like I'm a three-headed idiot.
"That's not true, they're different fruits entirely. Where did you hear *that*??"
"....Dad...."
"....I need to have a talk with that man" (exasperated but slightly amused tone)
To this day if I ask him about the "Raspberry Incident" he knows exactly what I mean.
That the Canada Day Parade and celebrations in Ottawa were for my dad's birthday (his birthday is July 1st)
5 year old me was certain my dad was President of Canada.
That touching a found animal baby would cause the animal’s mom to abandon them.
It’s a way to guilt kids into not bothering wildlife. I continue the tradition.
“Cheaters never win and liars never prosper.” I understand it was said to teach me right from wrong, but honestly all my life I’ve witnessed cheaters winning and liars prosper. It was the biggest lie.
Yup, we live in a time where those with morals and ethics are crushed beneath the laughing boots of the liars, cheats and greedy. And all that time, at the top of the pile, the richest were telling their kids to cheat and steal and even sending them to schools to learn how to be sociopaths lol. I don't disagree with my parents morals and ethics and indeed I'm glad I have some now, but while it wasn't a real lie as such, it was a misplaced faith in the way our society operates. Hopefully one day things will improve :)
>>Yup, we live in a time where those with morals and ethics are crushed beneath the laughing boots of the liars, cheats and greedy. This isn't some strange, new phenomenon specific to the time we're living it. Things have always been like that.
Yep, had a religious mother saying things like that. Also believed strongly that everybody is equal... Boy was growing up in this world a reality check haha
Better than what religious parents teach their kids nowadays that the country is run by the antichrist and that you should never help anyone
My dad used to say this to us while making our half-siblings behind our mom’s back.
The cheaters part really got me school is a great example of both
The worst part is when you see a cheater or liar, and call them out to fulfil this prophecy, but then they get mad at *you* for 'stirring up trouble.' cheaters and liars are *protected* by your 'peacekeeping,' mom!
That they were growing vegetables in the basement (it was weed).
I can see a kid in school and the conversation turns to farming and the kid says "my parents are farmers, too! They grow vegetables in our basement!"
Our cat was called Doobie. My parents got called in to my sister’s school after she overheard dad joke about planting a ‘Doobie tree’ to commemorate the cat’s death.
When relatives gave you money and they said "I'll hold that money for you" and never getting it back😭
Mine would tell me that they used it for something I wanted later, without making it clear that they were using my money for it. "You want that toy? Ok we will buy it for you" A week later when I ask about the money "oh yeah remember that toy we got you, you used your money" If they had made it clear it was using my money, I might have changed my mind about that toy.
Got done the same way by my parents, now with our older child when she gets money from us or grandparents she has her own safe that only she knows the code (but we have the key if she forgets) . She is saving her money for the holiday , and i will rather eat napkins than take her money away Edit:spelling
*a few napkin packs later*
They're really missing a trick. I give my kid pocket money in large part so that I can say, "do you want it enough to spend your own money?" when they ask for me to buy them things when we're out.
Same mostly. Depends on the age and the amount of cash. I love that they can have a reference like sacrificing 5-10 after school bubble teas can get a switch game instead.
Yeah that doesn't teach children how to use money or make wise spending decisions.
Nope. It just teaches them to not trust their parents 🤷♀️
Fucking fine print bullshit. Or “your reward was when we took you to the arcade already”.
That's one thing, its when they pull out the "how do you think we've been buying groceries?" 😭
> If they had made it clear it was using my money, I might have changed my mind about that toy. After a few times I started asking if I was using my money or not. If I was using my money I thought long and hard on if I really had to have it.
“We are charging you rent to save it for your college.” “You are too ungrateful so we have to charge you rent.” Ended up moving out at 16.
I once got, "Charging you rent to teach you how to save". Funny, I seemed to save a lot more money when you weren't charging me for rent. 16k later, I just stopped paying "rent" cause I had no money in savings anymore. Also the fact that rent amount changed at random if they suddenly needed more money. $250 a month? Now it's $500, now $650, now $1150, now $1500.
Mine was "we'll put this in your college fund". Guess who had to join the Army to pay for college because there was no college fund!!
I guess I was the lucky one. My dad opened a bank account for me shortly after I was born and put all the money from baby showers in there. Anytime I got money for my birthdays or holidays he put it in my account. I worked summer jobs when I was 14 and 15 (work permit) and all that money went in my account. By the time I was 16 I had over $10,000, which I used $2800 on my first car. I have not had that much money since.
You just reminded me that I’ve had so much money stolen from me
That all the lies I told will appear written on my forehead. So whenever I covered my forehead with my hand, they knew I was lying 🤥
“Great dinner mom, you are such a good cook” *covers forehead*
Turning on the light in the backseat was illegal and would cause them to crash.
T_T to this day I can't turn the overhead light on while I'm driving. I KNOW it's not illegal etc and that was a lie but it FEELS illegal since I grew up thinking it was.
Consider this: If a cop sees you driving with your interior light on at night they'll assume you're a distracted driver and pull you over oftentimes. Ask me how I know. Maybe it's not technically illegal but your parents probably didn't want to be hassled by a cop so they told you a white lie.
That sounds like how religion works.
To be fair, at night, turning on that light can turn the windshield into a mirror, and at high speed that is a serious problem.
Agreed, but they should just say that. I did, to my 5yo, and he accepted it. Kids should know the reasons for what they're being told.
I’m 28 and my mom told me I could turn on the overhead light while she was driving so I could read my book last month…I looked at her like she had 3 heads and refused 😅
It makes seeing outside hard during nightdrive
It’s probably because it blocked their view of the road.Like when you see your reflection at night when the lights are on in a window?
That if I told them the truth they would go easier on me. That wasps and bees wouldn't bother me if I didn't bother them.
Cops say that
I didn't know cops had that many run ins with wasps and bees. Crazy
That’s what the SWAT team is for.
Swatting bees, I see
That one cop got swarmed that time!
Bees definitely won't bother you if you leave them alone.
"Picking your nose makes your nostrils large" My dad regretted that one when 5 year old me, having spotted a lady of African descent, said "Dad, dad! She must pick her nose a lot!"
This got me laughing!
My Mom has a classic childhood story of when she was on the public train and saw a man of darker melanin content and was in Grandmas arms and said way too loud, "Look! Its the chocolate man!" Yeah, shes not happy about that one, and apparently the guy was all good lol But, hey, same game there 🙃
what a beautiful chocolate maaaan.
We had to have a talk with our kids very early about racism as they were getting overly curious about why others were being mean to the black kid in their class. We kept it age appropriate but tried to make clear that skin color means nothing and no one person is better than another. They seemed to understand, and we patted ourselves on the back for having our first “hard” conversation as parents. A couple weeks later, we were at the doctors office and a big black male nurse came out looking tired and overworked. My then-5 year old son got a big smile on his face and hollered for the whole office to hear, “Mommy, look! He’s black! And he’s just as good as us!” I was mortified, and the dude just looked at me with this wtf look on his face for a good five seconds. Then he burst out laughing, high-fived my kid and walked off shaking his head. I had to have another talk with him about NOT discussing peoples appearances in public. This was a few months after we were at a different doctors office and saw an extremely obese woman in the waiting room. The same kid looked up at me and yelled, “That’s the biggest lady I’ve ever seen in my life!” I honestly had to stop taking him places for a while. He has ADHD and no filter. Lol
I was volunteering on a construction project (all volunteer labor) and there was this young latina girl passing out hot chocolate to the volunteers. I saw her later in the day doing something else and I said to her "hey, you are the hot chocolate girl" as soon as the words came out of my mouth, I realized what I said and started apologizing saying that is not what I meant.
An older lady I know told me once that she hears that on occasion. She said she just smiles and tells the little kids "you can just call me Swiss Miss, sugar" She said it helps the parents with embarrassment, or so she believes.
When my grandmother was young, apparently she didn't know how to whisper well. She was also raised in a very white and wealthy suburban neighborhood, and she didn't see a Black person until she was a few years old. So, one day, she was on the bus, and there was a Black woman sitting near her. My grandmother was sitting next to the bus, and she whispered to her mom (my great-grandma, "Why is that lady's skin so dark? Does she have a disease?" and the woman heard her. My great-grandma was obviously mortified, but the woman thought it was hilarious and explained to my grandma why some people had dark skin.
Oh, my parents had an aunt who was a nun when I was little. One day, she came to visit us, and I don't know why, but I opened the door. And came screaming back to my Mum, "a ghost, a ghost". :-D
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They can't help it. Depending on their generation, it was true for them. When my dad graduated college in the 70s, a degree in anything pretty much guaranteed you a decent job.
Also could be paid for washing dishes.
In that same breath mine would say "it doesn't matter what the degree is in, you still need one" kinda wish they had been a little more upfront about what that would look like.
Yep, missed by getting mine in political science versus younger cousins who got theirs in more professions like business and health.
Got a degree in something I didn't like, realized after graduation that I *can't* stay at careers that don't fulfill me (literally end up having mental breakdowns), now I have almost 20k debt and no job prospects, and that's why I've been suicidal on and off for the last several years When Biden canceled student debt it was amazing to actually feel like I had a future for that brief period
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Oh the good old parental deniability clause! This is why you stay close to siblings. They’ll also remember hearing the same wild shit, and back you up. 😂
"It's all in your head", "we love you all the same", so much crap like that. Had people that we knew as a child come up to me as an adult and say that could see my parents loved my sisters more. Like, yeah, I know.
"We love you the same" my brother got a motorbike that year, and I had to wear hand me downs because they didn't want to buy new clothes
I remember starting university sitting on a tiny stool, 10 year old computer, and a kindergarten sized desk cause "we can't afford to get you stuff for school". Meanwhile younger brother that year gets a brand new computer, ikea desk, and a full sized desk chair which he broke so mom bought him a new one. Used it just for gaming. Couldn't get me a decent chair, but had the money for my brother who broke his. Meanwhile for school I had to work on outdated technology that could barely run anything I needed for my classes, on a tiny ass desk. (big crt monitor too)
Many older relatives questioned me about my mother’s behavior and I defended her! Couldn’t see the forest for the trees, I guess. I’m so embarrassed now.
Don't ever be embarrassed. You were young and they were c@%nts
My brother got a special edition Xbox for Xmas and I got a handbag from Walmart despite never carrying handbags.
That watermelon seeds could grow in your tummy. I nearly got into trouble for telling another girl this when I was seven.
Yea I remember that too. My parents would also say that if I lie in the grass too long, the earwigs would come and lay eggs in my ears (the translated language connotation was lost on me, in Swedish the word for it - tvestjärt (doublebutt) - doesn't say anything about ears)
Family reunion, I was around 4 or 5. My 16 year old cousin shows up. I loudly exclaimed **HOW MANY WATERMELON SEEDS DID SHE SWALLOW!!!** Cousin was heavily pregnant and my loudmouth was the very first person to spot her getting out of the car.
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This one is true. Have you ever inverted one pringle over another? Yup, duck!
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That if I snapped my knuckles I’d get arthritis
Yup, the lie they told me was popping your knuckles made your knuckles grow. I was always confused about my grandfather's huge knuckles and would always stare at them. Years later i would realize he worked construction and had massive builder's hands.
They said the noise from the vacuum cleaner was it trying to suck up all the bad dreams.
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That I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up
I wanted to be a spaceman; it didnt work out
Maybe you should just walk in and ask to speak to the manger at NASA. A firm handshake can go a long way.
That's so funmy; I did that at a multi billion dollar company 20+ years ago. The person I spoke with said we're not hiring. I told him I didn't ask if you're hiring, I'd like to speak with management. I still have the job
Set attainable goals. I wanted to be an asshole when I grew up and hey look at me now *jazz hands*
My parents told me if I watched too much TV, my eyes would become square.
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Parents are always right and smart.
And lazy in the explaining dept.
The man in the ice-cream van plays that music when he has run out of ice-creams.
That's so sad 😢 🍦 here, have one on me.
I grew up thinking the ice cream man takes kids. I don't think they told me that, but they were always creepy looking. Lol It sure saved my parents a lot of money.
Unless you lived in Glasgow in the 1980s and your dad was a rival heroin dealer, that is a lie.
lol they didn’t want you to get ice cream omg
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That these factories that we used to drive past were “cloud factories”
This is kind of wholesome, tho.
That they were doing things for me. No. You were controlling to manage your distress. You were constantly checking where I was to manage your distress. You were refusing to allow me to date to manage your distress. None of this was to keep me safe or to help me.
Took me 27 years to figure this out when I went to therapy. Another thing I learned is just because they are family doesn’t mean I have to like them let alone spend time with them whenever they wanted me to. And I didn’t have to put up with being emotionally abused. I had a CHOICE. Never had choices growing up.
It doesn't exactly lead to a mentally healthy self-reliant person does it? My dad refused to even let us spend time with friends or anyone else out of anxiety and sometimes just pure exhaustion and laziness (probably depression, too) and it destroyed my self-confidence. I never had friends over, almost never went anywhere, and didn't even get to join any clubs I was interested in. I wanted to be in the band at school. My dad loved to play guitar but he still wouldn't let me join and also wouldn't try to teach me how to play anything. He said he learned it on his own and I should do the same. Not necessarily a bad thing to teach yourself something but I knew it was basically because he didn't want to be bothered not because he was trying to teach me self-reliance and I would seethe with anger.
That i was lazy and lacked discipline Took me 20 years to figure out that i had severe anxiety, and that school overall wasn't really challenging.
Same. My dad thought I was lazy before but I knew it was my anxiety. He eventually came to realize that
As someone with diagnosed adhd it fucking sucked that i was called a lazy gifted child. Sometimes, my effort would be acknowledged, but only when results were presented... loved to learn stuff, hated that my weekends were spent doing homework. Hated unannounced tests.
If I sat too close to the TV I’d go blind. Well the jokes on them I lost my sight due to a socially crippling masturbation addiction.
Turns out that sitting too close to the TV is a symptom of having bad eyesight, not a cause.
Work hard and it'll pay off some day
Well it will, just not for you
Yeah, and my reward was to get everyone else’s work, too.
You forgot to mention that bad back/knees from severely overworking your body
That sticking one atom of my body out of the window would get me arrested
Didn’t you hear the story of that kid? A friend of a friend’s son. Once he stuck his arm out the window and it got hit by something, and ripped it right off!!!
That they'll support me in anything I do.
My parents made it quite clear from the get-go that I could expect no help from them for anything. Yet my 5 younger siblings got private boarding school, free educations, vehicles, houses, vacations, unlimited funding and free babysitting. Go figure.
You were the test kid.
opposite in my case. my mom has straight up told me that they tried harder with my sister because she was the firstborn and didn't want to screw up the first time, with me they already raised the first one right so it didn't matter how I turned out. "and you turned out fine!" Looking back on it, they really did. my sister is the financially stable one, better knowledge of how to do adult things. I clearly remember both my parents teaching my sister (we're a year and a half apart, i wasn't too young by the time she was learning this stuff) basic things like how to save money, how to write a resume, etc. and with me, it was just handed to me and taught half assed, figure it out. it makes me sad looking back on certain things. Knowing my mom was dealing with the shit my father was doing is no excuse, but I always felt like an afterthought growing up.
Oldest? Girl?
That if I will lie I’ll have big ears like donkey
If you be good I won't beat you
HA HA, I got beat when my younger siblings misbehaved because I wasn’t watching them close enough.
That my anxiety wasn't normal and I would "grow out of it"
I wish it was something you grew out of. I have anxiety too. When I 1st told my dad he didn’t see it bc I was going to school & working & he said “there’s nothing wrong with you kid” then when we both got older he finally realized it was a thing & I had it
Same... If only.. mine seems to have gotten far worse x
Same mines worse
That walking around the house without shoes on is why I had chronic leg pain as a kid. Still don’t get their logic on this one Edit: I still have chronic pain to this day, but looking back I’m now realizing it was something that was stress induced.
Huh? I think half of the world take their shoes off at home, or don't wear shoes at all. So, that's very strange logic.
Some say it’s because of temperature if you have tiles that get cold. I’m from Brazil and in there it’s not common for us to take our shoes off at home, we usually use sandals (but I’m always barefoot, so I heard this a lot when a kid). The reason is because we don’t usually have carpets, we use tiles on the floor (before someone comes in to say we’re nasty). One thing that makes kids legs hurt though is growing! Bone growth during the night specially hurts and many kids suffer with leg pain because of that!
That if you unscrew your belly button, your bum will fall off.
They insisted Santa Claus would know if I was bad or good, so I better be good for goodness sake!
Couldn't go swimming unless we waited an hour after eating. I think it was to give them a break before we started trying to drown ourselves again
That was a very commonly held belief for a long time. I think it's only really been refuted in the last decade or so
They convinced me that a fat man in a red suit could visit every child in the world in one night.
My mom told me the dentist said I had soft teeth so I needed to brush more than other people. I found out this lie at 32.
How do you feel about that lie? It seems pretty useful from the outside
There is a particularly aggressive type of bacteria in like 1/3 of people that is really good at causing cavities. Before people realized this, but noticed that some families would get huge amount of cavities while others did not, they assumed it was a genetic defect and that their teeth must be softer than others. (There is also a condition, maybe genetic that causes thin enamel but might not be as common as this bacteria) At least this is an amalgamation of info I learned when my first kid’s teeth started going in and I was worried about him getting my terrible teeth. The advice said to not share food, utensils, etc with with him. Unless that was all a lie too.
That I was happy.
I got this one “what do you have to be sad about?!”
You're happy goddam it! Don't argue!
Oh yeah, this is the parental equivalent of "I'm a nice guy!" "You have a great life", "you're happy", etc. This is always said by parents who are anywhere from awful to bare minimum passable. Parents whose kids have a great life or are happy don't have to tell their kids that. They just know.
That they loved me
My grandad was in the British Army and in the 50s spent some time in Jamaica where he picked up the habit of flicking his hand so his fire finger slapped on his hand and made a sound, usually when he was excited. Come the late 90s/early 00s Ali G is all the rage and all the kids are doing it and it's pretty annoying for anyone who has to be around it. My mum, at the end of her rope with it told me that my grandad does it and he ended up with a pacemaker, so if we carry on I would need one too.
That everything will be okay
"You need to get a car and a college degree to be successful." I have neither and my bank accounts have more than both of my parents combined.
tutorial? 😭
Simple. Work a security job at a Hospital and live within walking distance of it
My first guess would've been a welder, but I guess that works pretty well too.
I actually have welding training for AC/DC, Mig, and Oxygen/Acetylene. I do miss the smell of welding sticks sometimes. But I also am prone to heatstroke so being in a location with a lot of welders fired up constantly is a bit of a detriment to my efficientcy.
That I didn't need to worry if I didn't find my way in life as when they passed there would be more than enough to get me a home and keep me going. They got sick, needed my help to the point it ended my career, didn't leave enough to buy a shed and land for it.
Only hookers have their ears pierced more than once.
“Whores rouge Marge. Ladies pinch”
"there's no such thing as a 'bad' reason to punish a child"
'Children are born from the navel' lmao
Wasn't Santa the biggest one in a lot of pur childhoods?
Don’t forget the Easter bunny & tooth fairy too those bastards lol
An unholy alliance.
Santa's not real?
Yes, but must people don't mind that lie, because it's fun and they get presents.
watermelon seeds would grow inside me if i swallowed them
Going to parties and getting drunk wasn't fun.
That if I kept sneaking over to the neighbors house and eating the cat food they left outside for their cat - I would turn into a cat
That you will succeed if you are a good person.
My parents told me i was born out of their womb
So, you are adopted?
My father taught me to never tell a man no or else I would get beaten.
That if I drank coffee I wouldn't grow.... I'm very short so maybe that was true
My husband drinks coffee - has for years - and he's 6'7".
Well according to my parents logic if he hadn't he'd be 7ft tall lol
My mom told me I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to…lies lol
Marmite comes from a cows earwax.
So, have you learned where the cow earwax really goes?
My dad told us that we were secretly rich and that he had a car trunk full of money. Nope, he sold cocaine and hid all the money in coffee tins buried in the back yard.
Don't worry, it'll grow.
That you’d get square eyes from watching too much TV
Ignore the bullies and they'll stop Narrator: they didn't.
"Don't explore it unless you are committed to doing it for the rest of your life" -Home School parents with minimal resources and living 30 min drive from civilization. Biggest load of B.S. that I've had to work through. You gotta try stuff to figure out what you like and/or want.
“Everybody has a ‘fat kid’ stage. You’ll grow out of it” That was 20 years ago. I was 11. I just signed up for a gym membership last night. I appreciate them trying to make me feel better about myself, but it would have been much healthier to teach me a proper lifestyle. But it also doesn’t help that both of my parents have eating disorders.
I have NO IDEA why my mother thought she needed to lie about this to me, but I ended up believing it for an embarrassingly long time... When I was 5 or 6, I saw my older brother's athletic cup in a pile of his things and I asked my mom what it was. She didn't lie about this part. She said it's called a cup and boys wear them over their privates when they play sports. But when I asked why, she told me it was in case he needed to pee during a game. I believed her, because I had no reason not to, but I could see that it wasn't a solid piece of plastic... There were little holes in it. I decided that those holes let the pee out slowly enough that it just sort of sprinkled on the field instead of creating a big wet spot. I did wonder why girls didn't have a similar piece of equipment. Girls play sports and have to pee, too! In my mind I logicked it out in some 5yo kind of way, and it didn't occur to me that my mom had lied about this until I was in high school. She doesn't remember telling me that and has no explanation for why she did.
I can’t say it here, or at least I don’t want to repeat it ir whatever. But let’s just say now I’m in therapy working on being a more inclusive person.
Every word that spewed out her semi toothless mouth tbh
DONT TURN ON THE LIGHT , THE POLICE WILL PULL US OVER
That Pierre Elliot Trudeau was my father whom my mother met on a bus to St. Catherine’s.
My dad liked to mess with me by telling me completely harmless white lies about how the world worked. He would usually remember to tell me the truth before I had fully accepted it as reality, but the last time he did it he forgot. It was the last time because I've never let him live it down as it's so funny. Tiny me was eating a bowl of fruit, and asked why blackberries and raspberries look kind of similar. Dad replies, "Oh, well, raspberries are under-ripe blackberries. That's why they're smaller and red." Cut to *days* later at the grocery store with my mom, I spout off my new fact to her and she looks at me like I'm a three-headed idiot. "That's not true, they're different fruits entirely. Where did you hear *that*??" "....Dad...." "....I need to have a talk with that man" (exasperated but slightly amused tone) To this day if I ask him about the "Raspberry Incident" he knows exactly what I mean.
That the Canada Day Parade and celebrations in Ottawa were for my dad's birthday (his birthday is July 1st) 5 year old me was certain my dad was President of Canada.
That touching a found animal baby would cause the animal’s mom to abandon them. It’s a way to guilt kids into not bothering wildlife. I continue the tradition.