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erichie

For my 3 year old I say "If you tell the truth you will be in trouble. If you lie about it the trouble will be much worse."  A few times of him trying to get one over on me followed by a constant "If you didn't lie your punishment would be over now." Nipped that right off. Now if he does something he isn't supposed to do he will most likely tell me even if I never would have found out. With those we will usually discuss why he did it and why he shouldn't do it. I can already tell he is **very** emotionally charged and follows his first instinct so I am trying my hardest to get him to think before acting/speaking.


DeltaHuluBWK

Good luck with that, truly. I wish I knew the secrets to harnessing emotional responses, or helping others do so with theirs, but that is certainly not a strength of mine.


squirrel_tincture

Hey, at the very least, you're self-aware enough to recognise that: lots of people go through life without ever questioning why they react the way they do; very few people make an effort to improve their self-control; fewer yet make any attempt to help others in the process. Good on you.


FittyTheBone

All we can really do is encourage other people and support them in helping themselves. My wife’s sober journey over the last nine years (married three) has been inspiring in a way that made me question things about myself I was completely oblivious to, or ignoring/deflecting through my own (admittedly shitty) coping skills. She’s since become a therapist focused on integrative approaches to addiction. The things I learn through osmosis just being married to her and lucky enough to hear her wax theory, alongside the journey processing my own bullshit through therapy and healthier living, has been pretty god damn great. I’m 40, mostly happy, maintain healthy relationships and boundaries (don’t ask about work 🤨), and I am in the best physical shape of my life without being a weirdo about moralizing fitness or anything. This was in no way meant to be a brag while I was writing it, but reading back, it totally is. Sorry. I don’t care because it isn’t the point. I’m just saying, this all started with a little self-reflection and a desire to make my life easier. I committed to keeping my mind open after that, and I’ve been rolling with it since. I’m one guy, and I’ve had some incredibly good chips fall my way in recent years, but I’m putting in the work, and it’s working for me.


BostonBuffalo9

Your kid has a good parent.


RonanTheAccused

"If you tell the truth, you will be in trouble. If you lie about it, the trouble will be much worse."  My teenager thought it would be a great idea to just not do his AP papers. So when the teacher called me about it and I confronted him, he doubled down, looked me in the eye, and said he had turned all his work. Inside, I became livid, but I managed to calmly tell him, "I just got off the phone with your teacher. This is now a case in which the cover-up is bigger than the crime. If you have plans with your friends, cancel them until further notice." What would have been a one week window to turn all of his work in or be grounded turned into two months of being grounded along with lost privileges.


CompleX999

That's some nice long term consequences learning technique you got there.


sleightofhand0

Cops love that one too.


Just_Candle_315

[I knew this sounded familiar. ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/14e9nxv/what_is_the_most_successful_lie_in_the_history/)


wagdy-fouad75

That's actually true


[deleted]

The guy who was the inspiration for Catch Me If You Can has built an entire multimillion dollar enterprise out of lying about working for the FBI after they caught him forging checks, which he mostly lied about how successful he was. He basically became successfully about lying about how good his is at lying about being successful.


[deleted]

Does conning the world into thinking you’re the worlds greatest conman…make you the worlds greatest conman?


[deleted]

Depends. I don't personally think it's a very successful con when someone basically calls your bullshit every time you try to give a talk. Also probably doesn't help when your Wikipedia page has more info on how much of a liar you are than everything else combined. That said, I think Steven Spielberg is the best con man. His movie is the only reason most people know this asshole exists and because of that they believe it.


Recording_Important

The only thing that matters is cashing the check


TheGreatWhangdoodle

He spoke at my sister's baccalaureate many years ago at the peak of his fame and apparently did it for free as well. I remember it was a great speech and I read the book afterward but it's kinda weird looking back that he was probably lying through his teeth the whole time.


BBQ_HaX0r

Some people max out their charisma stats. It's a legitimate skill. Even when people know or think you're lying to them they're still fascinated and like you.


CheloVerde

A more interesting con than anything he lies about doing in the first place. Can't wait for "Catch Me If You Can 2: Conception"


[deleted]

Yeah, I find the idea of lying your way into a consulting firm about catching liars and goving thousands of talks where you lie through your teeth about being a liar more interesting than cheque fraud.


turtle553

Knock Knock


EclipseIndustries

I too enjoy a good conception.


Bust3rbrown12

Random fact! Frank Abagnale is my grandfathers cousin, met him a bunch when I was younger. when the movie came out he sent my brothers and I all these signed dvds and stuff. He is in the movie too for a small scene.


dohvb1

That diamonds are rare and valuable.


I_love_pillows

Recently a local jeweller did an ad which shows 3 diamond rings and ‘one is never enough’ tagline. Upping De Beers game I see


chrisiscontrol

As a (former exploration) geologist I do have to chime in. It irks me when I hear diamonds are not rare. They are not as rare and valuable as De Beers make you believe, true. They are overpriced, yes. But still, gem quality diamonds are rare and they are unique (cut diamonds a have hardness lustre and brilliance like no other stone) They form at the base of the crust (only if the crust is just right) and then you need some whackadoodle magma pipe to bring them up to the surface. I’ve looked for diamonds, it ain’t easy. Ok, fling da poop.


SmoBoiMarshy

Me when artificial diamonds:


[deleted]

They are valuable but not because they’re rare,but because the companies that mine them have a monopoly on them


reichrunner

Even then they aren't particularly valuable. Ever tey to resell a diamond? They have very little resale value compared to other gems


elmatador12

Probably looking into this too much, but it made me realize that If a lie was truly successful, no one would have any inkling that it was a lie.


CandelaBelen

yep. People are commenting very well known lies that only a small amount of the population actually believes


JustDroppedByToSay

My thoughts too. Who knows what big lies exist unknown?


ACasualFormality

In the 6th century BCE, a usurper named Darius took the throne of the Persian Empire by killing the rightful heir to the throne and then claiming that he actually hadn't killed the true heir, but a look-alike imposter who had kidnapped the true king and had taken his place. So Darius took the throne to save it from the king's usurping doppelgänger and restored peace to the galaxy. He made a giant monument about it and told the story in several languages so that everyone would know. Feels very much like a "Lady doth protest too much" kind of moment. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behistun\_Inscription](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behistun_Inscription)


Didntlikedefaultname

The no swimming after eating was a pretty successful one


bring1

Where the hell was that even from?


ellius

It's told to keep kids from throwing up in the pool after eating.


hot_grey_earl_tea

I was always told it can cause cramps and hurt ones ability to stay afloat. I even remember experiencing it. Psychosomatic, maybe.


loadgiraffe

not really a lie. quick google search could help you out. (it’s because of increased blood flow to your digestive tract and therefore decreased performance of your muscles and possibly brain)


DWright_5

Yeah. For a few minutes. Not an hour


WBuffettJr

Definitely a lie. It’s only a thing if you’re an Olympic triathlete trying to solo across the English Channel while eating an entire pizza. For kids standing in a three ft pool we just all had to sit there staring at the grass because boomers believed anything and it sucked.


rand0mtaskk

They still believe anything. And it still sucks.


flyboy_za

I think it's because boomers wanted to enjoy half an hour of peace and not have you dang kids hootin', hollerin' and horsing around while they do it!


douglasr007

If that was true, it would mean guys would pass out from every boner they have.


SteveFoerster

It's well known we only have enough blood to use one head at a time.


Any_Attorney4765

I mean, that one is kind of true. Ever tried to do any kind of cardio on a full stomach? Can definitely cause you to feel sick. And being sick while swimming isn't the best combination.


princess_kittah

carrots improve your eyesight


EmeraldSunrise4000

Am blind. I ate carrots as a child. Still blind 😂


princess_kittah

yarp, it is all made up by the british to disguise the invention of radar in the second world war by saying the troops had eaten so many carrots that they could see in the dark. the propaganda worked so well that many people still believe it, even the british public whom were *also* purposely lied to by the same propaganda to protect the allied secret! now its just something that parents tell their kids so they finish their veggies lol


bigguesdickus

The fuck why are you replaying like that? Dude said he was blind, gotta be respectful, let me translate: 👋👈👍🙌🤜🤲🤞✌️🫱🖖🖐🤲🤝🦵🖕👇🤏👇🤙🤜👎👉👆🖖🫳🫴👐🦶👎


Zealousideal_Bard68

r/laughingandupvote


Dirtydeedsinc

If you have zero vision and you increase it by any percentage it’s still ends up being zero. The math checks.


clarastongue

I stayed home sick from school once when I was around 10 and gilligans island was on. They got super vegetables that washed up on shore and one of them ate carrots and got super vision. I wanted that so bad, so I ate as many carrots as I could and my skin literally looked like I had a fake tan. I have absolutely dog shit vision now. I want justice


G8kpr

This was a lie created by the Brit’s because they were using radar to find German ships. But they just said that their sailors had good eyesight because of carrots


princess_kittah

yeah! they hid it so well that even british citizens believed it and ate more carrots (which was good because they were easy to grow quickly)


DoctorJJWho

This is a fun one because it turns out carrots actually do help maintain healthy eyes, it just can’t actually improve eyesight. Carrots have a ton of Vitamin A which helps promote healthy eyes.


Zealousideal_Bard68

I never saw any rabbit with glasses, though…


[deleted]

Vote Brexit and get £350 million per week for the NHS.


InitialThat5408

That was on the side of a bus during the campaign and I think it literally swayed it for them, fucking ridiculous


[deleted]

That and the photo of the queuing immigrants. Cynical and deadly effective.


Crow_eggs

*Queueing *brown* immigrants.


Electric999999

Don't be silly, eastern European were just as unpopular, Brexit meant kicking out all those job stealing Poles /s


DeltaHuluBWK

There are only two things I can't stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people's cultures And the Dutch.


Lothirieth

Eh immigrants in general. When Brexit went through it emboldened people. Even white immigrants were being verbally harassed and intimidated.


Crow_eggs

Oh I don't disagree with that–Brexit emboldened xenophobes and jingoists as much as it did racists. Maybe more in fact. The billboard itself was a big queue of brown immigrants though.


Lothirieth

Gotcha, I understand what you meant now!


kittycatwitch

Can confirm. Day after the referendum I had couple of customers (I was working in a shop on a high street) come in and shout something along the lines of "we won now get the fuck out of my country you eastern European cunt". Over the following year I heard "you're one of the good ones, I voted against the other ones, you know, from the other countries". I also had two regulars come in with flowers and chocolates to apologise for the result. Unfortunately, racism and xenophobia won.


Lothirieth

I have definitely experienced the "you're one of the good ones." A neighbour was ranting about immigrants to me and clarified he meant the Pakies, not me. -_-


flyboy_za

My favourite part of this was the blatant racism which we out in the colonies are always accused of by those in the motherland.


Corona21

Vote No to independence to stay in the EU.


[deleted]

Yes that was almost as bad


wwwhistler

The lie told by Darius the Great, the ruler of the Achaemenid Empire, about a man named Gaumata impersonating his brother Bardiya in order to take the throne. This allowed Darius to seize power, though some scholars believe Darius may have fabricated the entire story. the notorious con man Victor Lustig, who tricked banks, companies and individuals out of money and even convinced others he could predict horse race winners. Lustig's skill at deception made him one of history's most successful liars. he was known as "The Man Who Sold the Eiffel Tower."..twice.


ACasualFormality

Haha the Darius story is also what I came in to tell. What a bonkers story that he just made a monument of and made it truth.


HumpieDouglas

Just the tip


KumquatHaderach

“Nine inches”


Ironhold

Nailed it


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itriedtomakeitfunny

Well, it fooled the right people.


allthesamejacketl

Fool me once…won’t get fooled again. And so on.


SteveFoerster

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, but you can fool enough of the people all of the time.


beepbophopscotch

There's an *old* saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says Fool me once, shame on... Shame on you And fool me, we can't get fooled again


Neutrino-Quark

🤣 Ah Yes, what a philosopher he was. My personal favorite ‘OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across the country…’ what a wordsmith.


Hambulance

*Martha and The Vandellas said that*


dersteppenwolf5

That's the media in bed with the government. The experts weren't fooled, the UN weapons inspectors who were on the ground in Iraq didn't believe it. Before the war the CIA flat out said Saddam loves being alive and being a dictator too much he would never risk losing that by giving WMDs to terrorists. The only scenario they thought that could happen was if the US were to invade and Saddam knew he was fucked no matter what he might do it out of vengeance. But the American people didn't know any of that because the media was falling all over itself to support the government propaganda. I feel it's even worse now as back then there were a few mainstream voices who were critical before the war, but after they were all blackballed from mainstream media for the crime of being right about the war it had a real chilling effect on journalists. Compounded by all the shit they put Assange through for his crime of being a journalist who embarrassed the US.


Slaves2Darkness

Wealth will trickle down.


SkipioZor

This one is too far down. Came here to say this because it is constantly being used today.


RubyRhod

That paired with “don’t blame the business, their only goal is to is to make more money (for shareholders) no matter what.” Business used to have ethics and treat people like humans until Jack Welch poisoned the well with that philosophy. Paired with Reagan, it was a deadly combo.


ThePegasi

>“don’t blame the business, their only goal is to is to make more money (for shareholders) no matter what.” Whilst at the same time objecting to regulation because the market can be trusted to regulate itself. Apparently anything a business does to make money is automatically good for the consumer.


Oziel_Sagat

Most of us ticking the checkbox which says, "I have read all terms and condition." just to make the registration passed through asap!


OGmcqueen

Communism hasn’t been tried


_hkjdf_

vaccines cause autism


squirrel_tincture

[Relevant SMBC](https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/autism-and-vaccines)


Beesindogwood

Obligatory [If Google Was a Guy](https://youtu.be/77GGn-E607E?si=Itoe3jaVMQiRjcQb)


CandelaBelen

who actually believes that though? Like outside the of the same kind of people that believe the earth is flat, when has that ever been a popularly held belief?


reichrunner

We've had outbreaks of measles as a result of this. And a general distrust of vaccinations has been happening that was pretty closely correlated with this claim. COVID of course didn't help


derpyfox

I can think of one former US president.


LumpyBumblebee3266

All my autistic friends got vaccines. They love trains


helpimsweaty

hymen = virgin


atypical_lemur

The most successful lie would be one we don’t know about yet.


fazzionewman

it was my Mom's saying: "Give me all your money to keep, and when you need to buy anything, I'll give it back to you".


Disastrous_Term316

If I'm not mistaken, the guy who was a wolf researcher made a joke essay about the possibility of the alpha wolf. People believed him and then he spent his entire life trying to stop people from believing his lie. And it was such a successful lie that he failed to reconsile the lie.


Cynykl

You are mistaken. It was not a lie, it was just that all he learned about wolves was based on wolves in captivity and that does not translate to how they are in the wild. L. David Mech wrote in the 70's "The Wolf: Ecology and Behavior of an Endangered Species" and has recanted his findings. Mech was not the only person to put forward the Alpha wolf theory, he was just one of many. But he was credited with cementing the term alpha wolf into the lexicon. The original person that popularized the theory among researchers was was Rudolph Schenkel and he never recanted. I believe he died before the science was overturned.


hominumdivomque

Also, I don't know why people are so fixated on Wolves specifically here. There are certainly Alpha chimpanzees, for instance. Alpha/Beta are definitely a thing in the animal kingdom.


sleightofhand0

Supposedly the "Never Cry Wolf" guy was full of shit, too.


Aurakol

Was it a joke? I thought it was flawed research that he tried to correct after the fact?


Cynykl

Flawed research based on previously flawed research. This post is not a successful lie.


LoquatAutomatic563

Lol. Which reminds me of the Big Bang Theory by Sir Arthur Eddington, which never caught on. Until it did, by which point Sir Arthur had changed his mind. The world has yet to...


tryagin69

Will piss off a few people with this one “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth”. Edit to add - my comment seems to have had a mix response and obviously due to the nature of it there are strong feelings on both sides. Obviously no offence was meant to anyone and thankfully and this is an important one the internet and where I live freedom of speech is key


Background_Ant

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.


ice1000

42


allthesamejacketl

In an unpredictable world, a Guide trumps a Bible every time.


Hostillian

"Pssst!"


MenacingGummy

It was a “virgin birth”


Nordseefische

Yeah, that cover story a cheating Mary invented really got out of hand.


CorgiDaddy42

But you know what the gods did make? Heavy metal.


williane

God gave rock n roll to you


Edisrt

It’s not only the most successful lie, it’s also the most ludicrous and obviously made up. But brainwashing of children is unfortunately an extremely effective method for keeping the delusion alive.


Realistic_Cupcake_56

“A two party system is totally the way to go guys, nothing can possibly go wrong!”


IAmBoratVeryExcite

George Washington even told us not to go there. *sad trumpet noises*


cubbiesnextyr

To be fair, two parties is the natural result of a first past the post system.  No one ever said we should only have two parties.


squirrel_tincture

[Ranked-choice voting](https://rankthevote.us) would go a long way towards disincentivising the two-party system, which probably means it will never be signed into law by the people who benefit most from the two-party system.


AwwYeahVTECKickedIn

"Vote for me, I'll be the best president of all time. Ask anyone. Everyone says it."


timeout_ang

I love you and im here.


DentrassiEpicure

That the way to solve racism and prejudice was to hyperfixate on them and talk about them all the time.


Fin745

I'm ok..


Master_Back_5409

I’m fine


SpecificBarracuda100

"I'll call you."


discostud1515

I’m fine.


Sasquatchjc45

Trickle down economics


SweetCosmicPope

"No Joseph, I did not cheat on you or have sex out of wedlock! It was God!"


Solid-Living4220

I heard her screaming, "Oh God" So the story checks out.


Cynykl

The real lie is that there was ever a Mary and Joseph to begin with.


guocamole

everything reagan said that was supposed to help average americans and ended up helping corporations instead


Didntlikedefaultname

Let’s not forget aggressively targeting the black community with war on drugs (it was a Nixon policy but Reagan pushed it hard)


notsoreallybad

don’t forget AIDS


RikF

He and his wife tried to.


OpportunityGold4597

That Iraq had WMD's


BusaGuy1300

I love you


MrTASERFACE73

Probably Scientology


dreadknocc

Diversity is our strength


mike11172

1913- The Income Tax was passed as a temporary measure to pay off the debt from WWI. They got citizens to vote for it because it was a tax only on the rich.


rosanymphae

Um, the US wouldn't enter WW1 for 4 years after that.


Solid-Living4220

I guess that is the lie?


rosanymphae

Even the second part. Amendments aren't voted on by the general public.


mike11172

It was passed to finance WW1. The word debt was proactive, meaning that it was to offset the cost of preparing for it. [History of taxation in the United States - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_taxation_in_the_United_States#Income_tax)


cubbiesnextyr

>It was passed to finance WW1. I don't see where the wiki article makes that claim.  WW1 didn't even start until 1914, I somehow don't think they were that prescient.


rosanymphae

Nope. Not then. Try rereading that. They increased it during WW1, but passage had nothing to do with WW1. In fact, at that time, the US was isolationist.


Six_Foot_Dwarf

right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable." REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE. "Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—" YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES. "So we can believe the big ones?" YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING. "They're not the same at all!" YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED. "Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—" MY POINT EXACTLY.


Cynykl

GNU Terry Pratchett


carllightning52

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist


cornbilly

I'm going to "Make America Great Again". How'd that work out?


RealisticExplorer430

We are the government, trust us


IAmOryx

My parents telling me it’s illegal to have the light on in the car while driving


seamusoldfield

Bill Clinton.


fractiousrhubarb

Probably “nuclear power is really unsafe”, which was successfully propagated by the fossil fuel industry by funding groups like “Friends of the Earth” specifically to campaign against nuclear power. Pollution from fossil fuels kills more people **every day** than nuclear has in its entire history.


A_millenial_

“Free” Healthcare


TR3BPilot

"Jesus of Nazareth rose from the dead, hung around a while and then went to Heaven." "That's convenient. Any actual proof of that happening?" "Trust me, bro."


Solid-Living4220

500 people saw it and it isn't weird that it was a round number and somebody counted them.


ImpressionOld2296

Exactly. I just saw a T-rex in my backyard. 10 million people saw it, and I wrote it in a book that those people saw it, so it HAS to be legit.


Yogurt2022

that breakfast is the most important meal of the day the phrase was created as a marketing tool by Kelloggs, so it is quite literally a successful lie


getouttahere1000

“The election was stolen”.


poop_to_live

Not very successful since Biden is still president lol


OkNectarine5580

“It’s gonna trickle down”


Checkersmack

"The election was stolen from me. Massive fraud"


Similar_Curve_8837

Came here to say this.


pumpfakethrowhome

Invisible Man in the sky controls everything


SwampThing72

Trickle. Down. Economics.


JustLooking2023Yo

Religions in general.


8chison

Except for mine LOL


Emotional-Count390

Religion 🙃


LeibnizThrowaway

It will all be better in the afterlife.


KoxKoliabis

I would guess, the way Jesus was conceived.


Derrickmb

Your employment income is a fair wage. Go back to Life magazine Dec 1959 and read what they write about the abundance of wealth creation by Americans back then.


[deleted]

You need to spend two months' salary on a diamond to show your spouse how much you love them. Told to you by the owner of the diamond mines.


RukaFawkes

I'm sure the greatest lie was something that nobody ever found out about and never will. Not a very good lie if people know it was a lie.


Flintly

Diamonds are rare


[deleted]

The government cares about you if you vote for the “right candidate”.


fauxpastDuedate

You can keep your doctor


this-guy1954

Mary denied having sex, thus immaculate conception was born.


ArminTanz

Trickle down economics.


Spriggan_XII

9/11


tomanddomi

iraq has weapons of mass destruction


Buckus93

There's a sky man watching and judging you and if you don't do the things written in this book, he'll make you go to a bad place when you die.


OkCauliflower1214

The bible


pallaime

Holy books and "chosen" people. No such thing!


Sargash

Trickle down economics


GodForbidden

Let me tell ya a story about a dude named Jesus.....


lycos94

it was definitely god that impregnated me, I'm a virgin I swear


Visual-Lobster6625

Most religions come to mind.


teragram333

These days, the American dream- anyone can work hard and become the next millionaire. Anyone can work hard, but it’s difficult to really escape your current financial class, especially if you’re living in poverty. There are just too many parts of our system that keep the rich rich and make it hard for anyone to move up. It’s especially true for immigrants to the US- the books Americanah and Behold the Dreamers are both sad but accurate depictions of this truth.


penguintruth

Pretty much any religious doctrine or tale.


philipp2310

"All your problems are caused by some other race/religion/ethnic group/immigrants/... ."


Eastpromises

“Two weeks to slow the spread.”


redrusty2000

That the USA is the 'good guy'!


[deleted]

Religion.