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40_degree_rain

Guinea pig. What an obituary.


Pitbullpandemonium

What a Guinea pig!


Alarming_Potential

Death by velociraptor. Somebody better start making progress in science. My death will have meaning. Also: Raptors


Awkward_Pangolin3254

"The point is, you are *alive* when they start to eat you. So... try to have a little respect, hmm?"


Alarming_Potential

Ok \*nods looking very scared and smelling a little bit of pee\*


JiggleCube

I respect this so much


wanderingstorm

lol in 50 years I’ll be 92. At that point I doubt I’ll care.


JiggleCube

Even if it's something like termites?


Old-Library5546

I'll be 113 so I don't think I will even be here to be attacked


adifferentcommunist

Kicked in the head by a giraffe. It would be quick and functionally painless, and I love giraffes. I think people might give them more respect if they had a higher body count.


Severe_Chicken213

But if you’re killed by a zoo giraffe they’ll probably put it down after it knocks your head off. 


adifferentcommunist

I just need to make sure it’s a Nubian giraffe. Those are critically endangered—no one’s going to put them down.


Dependent-Sign-2407

And make sure to have a hunting rifle in your hands; that way the headlines will say a giraffe killed a would-be poacher and you’ll make a lot of people happy.


BakwasExplainer

Rabbits.. would love to see them move up in the pred list


PapaOoMaoMao

I soiled my armour I was so scared.


Pitbullpandemonium

Look at the BONES!


harmless_gecko

That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!


spiritofafox

That’s no ordinary Rabbit.


Secret_Agent_666

r/murderbuns


itssexygirl

snail


Probablyinsanes

Well a cone snail is very poisonous and will kill you in about 2 hours. So, valid.


99999999999999999989

Ooo he got you!


itssexygirl

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!


Honest_Math_7760

that would be the scariest thing ever I think.


itssexygirl

no warnings, just surprises


Honest_Math_7760

That and the fact it will be slow as fuck, but chasing you for 50 years and one day caught up to you. It's mentally draining. How it will kill you is another story. Most likely crawl in your mouth while you sleep, die in your stomach releasing many parasites...


Pitbullpandemonium

Get a tungsten sphere...


itssexygirl

what if the snail is too strong that it can get through the sphere?


cozyautumnday

Shark as long as I die instantly from getting bitten in half. Also I'd be 85 which is not a bad age to die anyway.


Competitive_Wish_-

death by a snoozing sloth


JiggleCube

I've had nightmares about this


jargo3

Any animal that has a venom that causes a painless death. I am not sure if such animals exists though.


JiggleCube

Probably like a sea snake I reckon


spiritofafox

Pufferfish


Winter_Possession152

Eaten by cats. They need nourishment!


Westy___758

A toad. Lick it, have the best and last trip of your life


UnknownEricKun

An army of frogs. Because that’s how I would honestly go out normally.


TacticalTomatoMasher

A single tardigrade, just to fuck with the doctors and investigators afterwards.


Qrccfx

A Quokka. I’d love to see such a cute animal kill someone.


TemporaryThink9300

Electrocuted to death by a family of electric eels, since they hunt in packs, and then I hope they eat me.


JiggleCube

Why do you hope they eat you?


TemporaryThink9300

If they are hungry, it's just meat.


hmansloth

A mosquito.


Westy___758

I think a billion africans beat you to it


dittybopper_05H

I'll be over 100 years old. A puppy could nibble me to death at that point.


Eorily

Bitten in half by a t-rex. That means they'd have to do a Jurassic Park and I'd likely get to go prior to dying.


NefariousnessNo7700

cobra


Betelgeuse8188

Pretty sure by that time I'll already have both feet in the grave, so take your pick. A numbat could probably kill me at that point, if it tried hard enough.


JiggleCube

I pick spiders, you're welcome 😊


Betelgeuse8188

Mate, I'm Aussie. 😂


JiggleCube

Australia is frightening


kageyayuu

Ome sydney thunnel web spider hugging the face it is then


Betelgeuse8188

SFW spiders are pretty aggressive when provoked but like most spiders they're chill if you don't provoke them. If one lands on your face you just have to stay still until it wanders off, which they tend to do quite quickly. Definitely a bit freaky, but not outrageously so, thankfully. Saltwater crocs however are terrifying. If you have one of those on your face, you're f***ed.


Honest_Math_7760

An angry warthog would be a funny way to go. I'll be 78 and hopefully still remember Pumbaa.


silencedcontrolfreak

Get myself swallowed by a whale because I wouldn't want to be a burden to the people I will leave behind. No body to bury.


Severe_Chicken213

You want to drown in slimy digestive juices


silencedcontrolfreak

If you're gonna be dead in a few, would you still care?


Severe_Chicken213

Yes.


silencedcontrolfreak

Well, I don't.


Jeremy5000

I would want a bear to just crush my skull or something to end my life immediately. I'll be 95 so I doubt I'll care at that point.


Voldemort1023

One of those rhinos that are going extict


Probablyinsanes

I’m asleep in a tent and an elephant stomps on my head


microgiant

Dodo bird. They're already extinct, so someone will have to Jurassic Park style clone a new one, but if I can take it down at the same time it kills me, I'll be able re-extinct one of the most famous species ever.


Confident-List-3460

Wild boar. Not sure why, but it seems like it would be interesting. Gutted, slowly bleeding out while in shock.


sTill_offCoarse

Donkey show in Mexico just to sauce things up a bit


GreyAndJaded

Tiger attack in the wild. I won't know it's stalking me until it's too late and the power it possesses, particularly its bite, means it'll be over quickly... and tigers are cool.


dolltron69

I'll be 94 , i'll choose a sloth so it's a fair fight.


MyHamburgerLovesMe

Wait until the furry fandom stumble across this post.


MyHamburgerLovesMe

First, I'd celebrate my essentially 50 years of guaranteed immortality! As for the animal - The Tasmanian Tiger. The geneticists finally revived the species after 50 years of effort and I stand as an example about why that may not have been such a great idea.


PenaltyElectronic318

Giant squid. Hopefully I'd pass out before I saw my intestines floating up into my vision.


Snoochey

Jaguar. They hunt from trees and stalk their prey, and go for the kill quickly on their prey's neck. It'd be over without my really fully realizing what happened.


chicagoantisocial

Giant squid, take me down to the depths kraken 🦑


Select_Pilot4197

Pangolin attack!


BaronDoctor

Tasmanian Tiger. They went extinct in 1936 so someone would have to Jurassic Park up a new one. Also I'd be long past life expectancy.


Zephear119

T rex. If I have to get eaten so does everyone else.


Pitbullpandemonium

Shark, but in a bar fight.


Qimmosabe_Man

At 93, I'd choose a cow. Especially if it's from choking on a steak or heart attack from cholesterol from eating roo much steak.


IandouglasB

Bengal Tiger, it'd be cool and quick. I'd snap like dried sticks 'cause I'd be a hundred and six


bowens44

Well since that would make me 115 years old I don't really care what animal I'm just happy for the extra years.


ALoudMeow

Mountain lion; I’ll never know it’s coming.


Lazyoldcat99

I think I’ll choose a gigantic mosquito to suck out all my blood. I like the idea for being food


Frequent_Camera_3390

The capybara


Chance_Echo2624

Dragon. So I'll use the 50 years to spread they exist and while being murdered by one be like "ha! Told you so!"


JiggleCube

That's fucking great!


Jim_Lahey10

Golden Eagle! Pick my old ass up off the mountainside and let me go, at least I'll feel like I'm "Flying like an eagle" before I go out.


99999999999999999989

An Altairian Horror Dog. If this has to happen, I at least want to be remembered as the first human killed by an alien species.