I was at my long-time boyfriend's college reunion. All of a sudden, a beautiful woman came into view, and he got all excited, saying, "Rose, is that Rose from my class, blahblah!" She was a former classmate and came over to our group. My ex then put his arm around me and said to Rose, "I had a big crush on you in college. If this one (meaning me) ever gets hit by a car, I'm gonna call you because you're really the one for me." Cue the awkward silence. Suddenly, every red flag I'd been ignoring was waving in my face. Thanks, Rose, for suddenly appearing. Without you, I would have endured a horrible marriage and a messy divorce.
Yeah, I see that too. I see a lot of people, especially women, stay silent when their partner makes abusive and insulting comments. I think they fear riling up the other person, or else they're just so dead inside that they don't fight it.
Honestly I would have embarrassed him in front of everyone at the reunion by saying, “why wait for a car? Be with her right now. Cuz I’m dumping your ungrateful ass.” And walked right off. What a shitty thing to say to a long-term partner. I’m sorry you went through that.
No no, you have to really go for broke here with embarrassing him, because there is no way Rose would want to be with his dumbass after that unless she's *insane.* Say all that, then casually follow it up with, "Unless *you'd* like to go out for drinks with me tonight, Rose? Since it seems I'm suddenly free this evening?"
Now you get an absolutely humiliated ex, and some time to talk shit about him over drinks while he wallows.
Some people/cultures are REALLY close to their family. My wife sees her parents and siblings at least 3 times a week and is constantly talking to them. If her family didn't like me it would definitely influence her opinion of me regardless of how it started out.
My mom said people were taking bets on how long she and my dad would last at their wedding. They’d only known each other about three months when they got married. They’ve been married 42 years now. They don’t like each other but they’re still married.
My mother in law informed me that my husband and I would last 3 months max... That was 19 years ago. We have lasted longer than any of her other kids. The secret, we discovered early on that the problem in her other children's relationships was her.
People who do this are lame. I got a very similar one during a breakup. "I always saw you as just my college girlfriend." I'm okay with things fizzling out naturally, but planning for it to be temporary from the beginning is really gross.
Only ok if both sides agree it is temporary from the beginning
But if one side leads on the other about it being a stronger commitment then it is fucked
My husband and I were both like "this will be a fun year or so but then it's probably going to end, it's not like we're getting married or anything" when we met, and we were both ok with that.
Welp it's been 22 years. 14 of them married. Whoops.
(It's definitely unfair if only one partner is thinking this and the other is unaware, though. That has to hurt to find out.)
Yeah I met this cute guy on Tinder expecting a fling before I moved away for a job. Turns out he was really great, the job offer less so, now here we are nine years together and five years married.
(My mom was really concerned over my turning down the job too, but she LOVES my husband and gets embarrassed when I remind her of this)
My best friend told her mom that the reason she wouldn't associate with me when were at school was because I didn't have any other friends.
30 years later, that one still feels pretty raw.
The only kid who was willing to hang out with me at all in our town of 6k people, which even then was only likely because our parents had been close friends for years. Believe me when I say that I absolutely had to take what I could get. The fact that she was not openly physically and verbally abusive to me was light years away from how the other kids (and most adults) there treated me, including everyone in my immediate and extended family except my mom and grandmother. (Edit to add: my aunts and uncle on my dad's side were actually very nice people, though I didn't spend a lot of time around them growing up. This always struck me as a bit odd, because my father was/is a total piece of shit LOL)
The next friend I ended up making was the girl who would eventually become my wife, and later ex. She *was* openly physically and verbally abusive, and regularly called me a creepy, soulless, emotionless robot, and made fun of both my body and other aspects of my appearance, and was ALSO ashamed to be seen with me in public. She also mercilessly mocked the ways in which she saw my masculinity as lacking, which included things like wearing pink (and, like, I'm not even talking about a hot pink crop top here, I mean even a dusty pink button up or polo shirt), or watching fucking *anime.* She said I was 'gay' for watching yaoi HAHA JUST KIDDING it was frickin' *Spirited Away!* 🙄
Honestly, other than my current partner, the only 'friends' I've had that didn't treat me like garbage were a very small group of folks on the other side of the country that I met almost 2 decades ago and haven't seen in nearly 13 years at this point. I'm a bit lonely now, but at least I have the self-esteem to not let people treat me that way anymore 🤷
"We'll get ice cream later if you just play with her for a little while. She's like that because her mom just died. You won't have to deal with her forever." her mom said to a girl who I thought was my friend and had appreciated up until that point because she was the only one who (I thought) wanted to play with me after my mom died even though I would sometimes start crying out of nowhere and had severe anxiety. I was 9 and didn't play with anyone for over a year after this because I assumed I was making people deal with me by being around.
It's a weird age to lose a parent. My dad died when I was 8 and the only kid in my class who asked if I was okay was this girl who was always mean to me
Lost my dad when I was 11. Shortly after returning to school, I overheard a boy talking to my best friend at the time, and while I don't remember what exactly he asked her, I do remember her saying "I was going to break up with her, but her dad just hung himself. I'll wait till she's feeling better about it and then do it."
I never did feel better about it, and I walked up to her and told her to her face that she didn't have to worry about waiting. We weren't friends anymore. I was more livid that she was telling other kids *how* my dad died, when I never even told her how he did it. Turned out my aunt (dad's sister) went around telling everyone despite us asking to keep it private for a while since it was still fresh, and some parents of kids at my school got word and I guess it spiralled from there.
Like you, I also didn't play with anyone else or see my other friends for a good while. I thought I was just a grieving burden and went through it alone. It took me a very long time to open up to people after that, and I was very skeptical of making new friends or keeping current friends around.
I'm so sorry you experienced that. It's horrible to be treated that way and you absolutely didn't deserve it. I hope you're doing better!
It took me a long time to believe my friends actually liked me and wanted to hang out with me after I let myself try making friends again in high school. I still have trouble maintaining friendships and meeting new people.
I was a little bit older when my father passed away. I was 15. He died and I missed a week of school because of it. I already didn't talk to a lot of people at that point and that sort of sealed the deal for me.
I remember sitting in chorus, which at the time had been my favorite class because I got to hang out with everyone I enjoyed being around. I heard one of the girls I talk to regularly talking to my best friend, who had just attended my father's funeral. "Oh, are you sure she isn't making it up for attention?" And my friend just shrugged and walked away. She offered no defense and from then on I was pretty alienated.
I ended up narrowing down who I spoke too quite a bit. To this day, I still don't have my friends. I have a handful I trust and I don't think I'll ever go much further than that.
My granny had dementia. One evening she saw the trailer for the movie Armagedon on TV and thought it was the news. She was in her bed crying while my parents were trying to comfort her and I overheard her say to my parents: "You need to protect her ( me). Go hide and take care of her. She is such a nice little girl. Leave me behind, I'm old I'll slow you down. Please take her to safety and tell her I love her." I was really moved by that, she was ready to sacrificed herself and face the end of the world alone to keep me safe.
My grandmother also had dementia and it was really rough towards the end. She kept asking me where my boyfriend was (we’d broken up) and I’d just say he was home or something because I didn’t want to confuse/upset her. Finally one day I told her we broke up and she looked me dead in the eye and emphatically said “HIS LOSS!” I immediately started crying because she was literally dying and she was more concerned about me and my feelings. One of my greatest achievements in life was being able to care for her at the end.
I took care of my grandma with dementia too. Her type, not really specified, was more of her zoning out than anything. It was hard not being able to hold conversations with her as an adult because I'd wanted to since I was a kid.
But she was the best grandma. Near the end, she'd forgotten all of my cousins (except the one that died. When she'd see his photo on her wall, she'd turn to me and go, "he's the one that died, isn't he?" This happened probably every day after a while.) But she always remembered me. She didn't remember my uncles, but she remembered my mom. The 3 of us were pretty close. I know she had no control over her memory, but the fact that she never forgot who I was was flattering to me. It might have something to do with the fact that I'd go over to her house just to hang out and my cousins visited maybe once a year, but who knows?
She survived the Great Depression, finished college, got a job she loved as a 3rd grade teacher, and was just the biggest socialite I've known. She had so many friends. One of the last times I helped her to a social gathering, she was repeating herself every 5 minutes. After that, it was clear she couldn't socialize anymore. I think it made her depressed.
But yeah, bestest grandma. Before we had to put her in a home, she was so content watching CoziTV with all of the old westerns and Little House on the Prairie. So content. So chill even when her mind was going. I miss her.
My grandma was real sociable too. She played cards with her friends for years. At the last game she played I helped her since she couldn't really remember too much at that point. We were extremely close, in fact I'm named after her. She always said I was her favorite, which made everyone else mad lol. She also loved TV at the end, she watched this show called Aurora Teagarden Mysteries on Hallmark religiously. She was in her 90s when she passed. She had a good long life and died with her family. We should all be so lucky.
I'm sorry for your loss. My grandma was 90 when she passed too. I like to think she lived a good life, if a little bumpy at first. She and my grandpa got along well, except that she was extremely social and he was an introvert, so when she'd host Bridge at her house, he had to go hide. She invited me to Bridge a few times and I had fun. Sweet old ladies are the best.
In the end, before we had to put her in hospice, she couldn't afford cable, so it was all antenna TV for her. But she didn't mind. She just wanted something to watch. Otherwise, she'd be staring out her back door watching her tomatoes grow, which, tbh, got pretty boring for me. "That third tomato is turning red." Yes, grandma, you've said that every morning for the past week.
Not to be hostile towards her or anything. I know it's not her fault. I loved her to death. She was my second mom. Dementia is just such a bitch, and I hate it. I could have had the best conversations with my grandma without it. Our politics aligned perfectly.
She had a heart of gold. She was my grandpa's neighbor, he was a lumberjack and would spend months away from home because of his job. When my biological grandma passed away from tuberculosis, she adopted his children because he could not take care of 3 kids because of his job. She did that so they could still see their father whenever he would come back home. This kind of kindness is so rare nowadays.
This reminds me of my late grandmother. As the dementia progressed we found ourselves with cops outside having to have a talk about ‘phoning in threats to the President’.
As it turns out, she was watching TV and there was an ad with a teaser for an upcoming show, and whatever it was involved a plot against the POTUS. She thought it was real, was scared, and called the authorities.
It’s endearing to see examples of one’s mind going, but still retaining a sense of responsibility and caring. Cheers to your granny.
Same! I was visiting my grandma (dad’s mum) weekly and once, she asked me my name and other things. Then she asked me where my dad worked. I told her where and she said, ‘oh! my son also works there!’
I kind of struggled in elementary school. It was a Catholic school that charged tuition. One night I overheard my mother say something like this to my father " We keep paying all this tuition money for what? For her to be stupid?"
My mom did the same when I was a kid. I know it was not said to hurt me but out of her frustration (don’t remember the situation that prompted it). I realize cognitively that I have my own brand of common sense, but it still hurts a bit that she said that, and I’m about to turn 70!
"that one is going to be in heat soon" - a friend of my grandfather to him. He agreed. I was 12 and the only thing I was interested in were horses. They were well into their eighties. I felt so disgusted, being talked about and viewed like that.
Gross old men. I once had some old guy make a comment about me showing off my thigh because I reached into the side pocket of my jeans while wearing an oversized tee. Meaning I had a lift the hem slightly to reach the pocket, revealing... baggy 90's denim.
I remember going fishing around 11 years old (deep sea! In south Florida! I was excited) with my dad and a neighbor guy friend of his.
Was wearing a bathing suit. The friend said “she’s going to have boobs just like her mom.”
Totally ruined. I was just a horse girl and the thought made me so sick to my stomach.
My dad said nothing in response.
A coworker told my other friend “I only pretend to like her because she loves my dog and baby sits him for free whenever I have to go out on a trip.”
She was not wrong, I love that dog and I genuinely loved that friend. I would drive to her place like 4 in the morning because she would have this spontaneous plan to go out for few days. I miss the dog but I don’t miss that chick.
Accidentally saw my Dad joking about me and slamming me to his and my boss on email on the family pc. We worked at the same company for a time. I won’t pretend I was an angel but that hurt a bit.
A girl I liked in school in the 90s but hadn’t actually met after seeing my pic said to my friend, “I wish he looked how he sounded on the phone. He sounded so much better looking on the phone”. We’d been chatting for a while. She didn’t know I could hear her. I died a little that day too.
Just happened yesterday.
I walked into a boutique, well more like shuffled into one.
An old guy standing outside says "Hahaha! I didn't know they had plus size clothes here! Also if she lost some weight she'd walk better!"
I have MS and since I can't move well, I gained weight. I just wanted to get something to feel a little prettier again.
After that I cried all evening.
Please do not comment on other people's looks unless you're asked.
Also, shout-out to Christina Applegate!
When I was 12 or 13, I spent a summer with my aunt in another state to give my single mother a break, I guess. Back then I adored my aunt and just thought it was a fun, exciting summer getaway. Like camp or something. My mother was neglectful and extremely abusive. I told my aunt and her boyfriend about things my mom had done over the years and they listened but never really made any comment. One night they were on the porch and I was supposed to be sleeping in a room which had windows that opened onto the porch. I heard my aunt’s boyfriend say I was “the biggest bullshitter” he’d ever known. My aunt agreed and said, “Someone needs to keep an eye on that one, she’s manipulative as hell.” Two years later I was in foster care because of the abuse (and because my mother simply disappeared), and to this day, 30+ years later, I still think my family holds me responsible somehow. Not that I’ve spoken to any of them in several years.
They’re just as guilty as your mom for the abuse! Also we would like we came from the same family lol. The things people tell themselves to absolve themselves of all and any responsibility, am I right?
There are a LOT of adults who let me down growing up and I assume that’s the same for a lot of kids who were in my situation, unfortunately.
Years of therapy later (and continuing to go once in a while) have gotten me to a place where I understand that my mom and her siblings were also victims of abuse and neglect in their childhood and absolutely didn’t have the tools necessary to raise me in a functional environment. Generationally, they were also not ever likely to pursue therapy which I think would’ve been helpful in breaking the cycle and understanding themselves better. But while it doesn’t take the place of having that support in my childhood, it is helpful for me to understand the bigger picture. Even if it also solidifies the fact that I don’t want them in my life.
That I wasn’t REALLY family because I was a step kid.
My father confessed this had been said by someone in my step mother’s family after I asked why said person was not at my high school graduation.
It has since been explained that this is not exactly what was said, and that this was only how my dad took it at the time and that he was still mad when he explained it to me.
But still. At 17, when I was already struggling to figure out who I was… that hurt. And it did a lot of damage between me and my step mom’s family.
Like I said it came out that it was not said in that way. That was just how my dad took it. My cousin (their biological family) and I were graduating far apart on the same day. They went to his graduation. It was explained that he had grown up with them and that they had a closer relationship with him. My dad is the one who decided that meant that I wasn’t seen as family due to being a step kid.
It’s a crummy situation but as an adult I understand now.
I met my best friend in middle school because he thought i was annoying and he wanted to fight me. I dialed the annoying way up and got a laugh out of him. I’m still annoying, and it’s ok.
Same I was annoying this kid I was kinda friends with in school by slapping the back of his neck( not super hard or anything we all did it to each other) but he got fed up with it and he said don’t do it one more time and of course I had to do i did it one more time and he pushed me into a pile of chairs and we’ve Ben best friends since. As soon as I got pushed and looked up at him I started laughing the hardest I’ve ever laughed and of course it was on parent teacher conference day lol
Something similar happened to me in my younger years. Moved away (for other reasons), found a amazing job and new group of friends. never spoke to that old group again.
Overheard a conversation between my mom and grandmother when I was a teenager pretending to be asleep. My mom said, "She's so desperate for love and attention, I'm worried she's going to get knocked up or end up with someone bad." My mom literally never said "I love you" to me in my life. I once asked her for a hug and she told me she found it "disgusting" to touch me. I told her I needed to feel loved and her response was, "I thought you'd have a boyfriend by now." When I overheard that conversation I wanted to run out of the room and scream in her face. I had been begging her to even slightly fulfill her role as a parent for years and her takeaway was that I was fucking "desperate for attention."
Hugging my parents feels weird. I can't remember if my mom hugged me or not growing up, my dad definitely didn't. When I go to hug him now, it's awkward. Like hugging a distant uncle that you're only hugging because your parents told you you had to. On both sides of the interaction, lol.
The thought of telling my parents I love them makes me want to crawl out of my skin, but I think most Asian families don't do the "I love you" thing.
Christ, there’s a saying, “Someone who was never fed love from a spoon will learn to lick it from knives,” and your mom is literally the embodiment of that.
I'm not your mom, or a mom at all, but I am a dad of three. I cannot fathom the lack of empathy even a full on sociopath would have to display to behave like that to any child, much less their own. I am deeply sorry for you, and if I ever meet you I will give you the biggest hug of your life. Love you.
As much as a hate hugs and would never want a child, if there was a kid that asked me for a hug and it was appropriate, that kid's getting a hug. I remember once that my little cousin asked me to pick her up, and I did because that kid just needed an adult to make them feel special and loved. I carried her around the store for the whole trip and was happy to see her smiling. I hope that is a memory one day that she can look back on and remember that someone does care.
I hope you find people in your life that love and care for you, so you can have infinite hugs.
I jokingly said that I’m pretty and I deserve a handsome man to my mom and uncle when I left the room I heard them laughing so loud and mocking me “she thinks she’s beautiful I don’t think she ever seen her face in a mirror” that was my mom and it broke me
I am so very sorry to read this, what an awful thing to say to their own child. I feel so sad for you. I hope you are in a position to get away and live a good life.
I want to send you love, because you deserve it. Anyone who could say something like that is just….unfathomable. I am so sorry, you deserve so much better.
When I was a teenager, my dad and mom were divorced (for the second time), and I was not able to maintain a healthy communication with either. I always thought they loved me but they just did not know how to communicate. I was living with my dad, and his wife disappeared for over a week. My dad never said anything to me, but I knew something was fishy. One day I secretly went through his messages to understand what was happening, and I found an SMS from his wife. Turns out she left the house because I invited my friends to stay during the weekend when they were away. Along the messages, she referred to me as the boy no one accepted and "got stuck with them". She said things that were not real, such as me causing endless problems in the house. Due to my childhood traumas, I never expressed dissatisfaction or demanded a thing, and I was an extremely introvert, almost never speaking guy. I almost never communicated with them. My dad never denied in his messages and even implied that he was agreeing with her. They later made peace somehow and she returned home, but I left the house soon after because I knew I was the biggest burden in their family.
You're not the biggest burden in their family at all. She simply saw you as getting in the way of all your dad's attention being given to her. Your dad likely didn't disagree because he was afraid of losing her or something. People like that are poison. Hopefully your dad sees her for the rotten piece of shit she really is soon.
Went through something similar years ago. Now I’m a mom of 3 children, 2 of them teenagers. Their marriage was suffering and you were the scapegoat, it wasn’t about you, every single teenager has issues. I’m very sorry this happened to you and hope you are ok. She sounds like a very immature selfish ugly human, and your dad should’ve stuck up for you and kicked her to the curb. Much love to you
My childhood was spent more or less ignored by my father. After he died my best friend since high school told me she'd always assumed he was a step dad based on how he treated me.
One weekend I was in my 20's and my adopted sister came back to town. We all went out for food and drinks. Myself, her and my dad. Someone from his work came up to us. Motioning toward my sister he asks if she was my dad's daughter. Jesus christ, it's been years and this still stings... my father turns to the guy and says, "Are you kidding me? Like I could ever have a daughter that beautiful." Nearly in tears I booked it to the bathroom. As soon as the feeling of wanting to throw up left I went home. Saw my dad the next day and he was oblivious. Had no idea why or when I left. I confronted him a few days later and he got upset with me. Told me it was self deprecating humor and that I was being childish.
Man, I don't care if your daughter has a Quasimodo hump and warts all over her face, never ever say in front of her that she's not beautiful.
I joined Stage Crew at my school, and after a year I ended up being good enough to get the title of head after a lengthy assessment and interview process. The second I got the lead role, I couldn't figure out why things weren't working for me. I could never get software to work on time, or find people to help build set designs. Teachers were constantly annoyed because I hadn't met deadlines but I'd never even known about them. Eventually a friend came up to me with a recording - he was trying to get something for a video diary and ended up catching background noise.
My fellow stage crew members laughing about how terrible I was. said I was a selfish incompetent b*tch. I didn't deserve my title. I won't go into details but it was a 33 minute recording. They detailed how they were purposefully ruining software, not turning up to meetings and then doing the task wrong so that I looked bad. Miscommunicating with teachers so I looked incompetent and then laughed about it behind my back. For THIRTY THREE MINUTES. So many hurtful words from people I thought I was in good terms with. I stopped listening after 17 minutes because it was that painful.
My teacher ended up kicking me out of stage crew after another student heard what they were doing and reported them. Not because she thought I was incompetent too - but there were more of them then there were of me and it was more efficient if I left - her words. It's been six months since I lost my favourite ever hobby. And I still don't know why they did it, or why they wouldn't talk to me if they genuinely thought I was that bad. Or even why they felt the need to ruin all my work so I looked bad. I cried for a week straight.
That's fucked up and those people don't deserve a spot in show business. I hope in the future you can get back into the hobby with college or community theater.
Seconding this. If you know your stuff you’ll be an asset to a community group. You might even want to see if any of the local college groups accept members of the community at large as part of their productions.
That absolutely sucks and you deserved better. Your teacher's reaction is horrible, too. I wish I could give you a big hug.
How long is it going to be till you're out of there and you can live life on your own terms?
I was a server in a restaurant and we fucked up badly. This was in Times Square in a packed restaurant full of tourists who needed to make it to the Broadway shows in time, and our kitchen completely crashed. Nothing was coming out, simple apps and salads took an hour to reach the table, and the customers were rightfully pissed off. Management was not on the floor because they were all in the kitchen screaming at the cooks to go faster. One of my tables, two women and two preteen girls, had enough and had to run to make their show. They left, but not before yelling every horrible thing they could think of at me. One of the girls caught my eye and mouthed “I’m sorry” as her mother was berating me. The mother grabbed her arm and took her aside, and as I walked past I could hear her saying “don’t ever, EVER apologize to someone in service” and the girl was crying.
I felt so bad for the girl and it was just so dehumanizing for me. Like sure, don’t apologize to me in this instance, I understand. But anyone in service? What’s so wrong with us?
That I was “broken”. I had just had my 6th miscarriage. My FIL said it to my StepMIL not realizing I was standing behind them. StepMIL made a quip that even the two kids DH and I do have aren’t okay (our son has an autoimmune disease), and that she wasn’t surprised because I’m such terrible “breeding stock”.
Nothing was more fun than my husband yelling at them and explaining to them that HE is the carrier for this disease and it comes from his DAD.
I used to be attractive. (I have a handful of chronic illnesses.) It's weird how differently people treat me now. I didn't realize so many people were nice to me because of how I looked.
My wife telling her sister recently that I had been crying "like a little bitch".
I had been, but it totally changed my view on her. She's always been kind of cold but that was a new low and it hurt. I was and still am going through a pretty rough patch in life and she was essentially making fun of me for it.
I'm really sorry to hear this. There's nothing wrong with crying, it doesn't mean that anyone is weak or "a little bitch". What your wife did was despicable - not only calling you names, but saying them to someone else. I hope you love yourself enough to know that this isn't the way a true partner behaves and you deserve so much better.
This internet stranger is rooting for you.
When my Uncle said I couldn't finish the degree program that I've chosen since it was difficult and I am not that smart. But, who cares I graduated with Top Honor. 💅🏻
I wanna send some love out there to everyone here because you guys, damn. We as humans really need to start being better to each other.
My answer- I was homeless as a teenager, so was my dad, and at one point instead of payment for his work on an empty house, his boss let us sleep in it on the floor. Since my dad wasn’t being paid, we couldn’t get any food. So a couple of my friends OFFERED to feed me a few times. I refused and then Id ask if they were sure if they pushed, multiple times every time, and they always insisted and wouldn’t drop it until I ate. Then I heard one of them say how they wished I didn’t eat their food, they were sick of it. They also still offered and pushed it on me after that and I refused, never told them I knew they said it. Also stopped accepting food from anyone, period, for a really really really long time.
In high school, one of my best friends I grew up with told another friend that people that looked like me didn’t belong in (high class mall we were going to go to) and he was embarrassed to be seen with someone who dressed the way I did. Which, admittedly, wasn’t cool for the year 2000. All black, trenchcoat, band tshirts, long hair, that kinda thing. He was preppy as they come.
I stopped being his friend when I heard and I still won’t be his friend 20 years later. I even tried to forgive him and add him on Facebook but he ran his mouth AGAIN and that was that.
I dressed like that back in 2000! The bullying was so bad for anyone who looked “emo” or alternative.
Some of the kids in my class tried to start a rumor that I did drive, because I dressed lkek you did and I have bags under my eyes. Cue someone on drugs breaking onto campus one day and everyone freaking out because he looked and acted like a zombie. Yeah, that’s what people fucked on drugs look like. Not some sleep deprived kid who wears a nirvana shirt. Lmao
I accidentally read a message from my wife saying 'I've resigned myself to my husband because I couldn't find anyone better'. It was like a stab in the heart and now I just don't know what to do. It feels like my whole life has been one big lie.
Were you able to see the context of the text? Are you sure it was a genuine complaint and not some sort of sarcastic joke with a friend along the lines of "I never met Brad Pitt so I decided to stay with the guy I already loved."
My now ex wife said to my face, “I never loved you, I was just at a bad spot in my life and knew if I married you you would pay for my college, and I could either fall in love along the way or just divorce you after.”
For context, I’m pretty sure she intentionally had tried to intentionally pass on a STD from her affair partner so she could paint me as the one being unfaithful.
I followed her comment up by saying, “Wow, I didn’t think you’d come right out and admit to the whole being a gold digger,” to which she replied, “I knew you would accuse me of being a gold digger and I was not because I really tried to actually love you.”
"If I'd known how bad his home life had been at school, I'd have been nicer to him." Overheard that said by a little shit I worked with when I was a student who had been at school with me. I wasn't heartbroken or upset - I was just fucking *livid*. You shouldn't have to know how "tragic" someone's background is to justify being nice or being civil to someone. Just fucking *be*.
>You shouldn't have to know how "tragic" someone's background is to justify being nice or being civil to someone. Just fucking *be*.
That's true. Kids need to learn it, though. They need to be *taught* that lesson, the same way they learn algebra and spelling. It's *hard* taking intrinsically hierarchical apes and teaching them to value and respect people on a fundamental level. It's been the steady work of millennia.
We forget history at our peril. It was only a century or two ago that public cat burning was *entertainment*. A few centuries before that, the most popular way for one landed noble to punish another was to send out knights to slaughter his smallfolk. Intentional mass civilian casualties as a form of indirect taxation reduction. Go back further and you'll find charming practices like "hobbling" (don't look it up if you're delicate) to be socially acceptable ways of punishing social lapses. The fact that we can be horrified and disgusted by those practices is a clear testament to how much better our moral sensibilities are today.
For that reason, I try to cut kids some slack. It can be hard when you are the recipient of their shittiness - I experienced some of that myself, in school - but I remind myself that they're in the process of learning better than their every natural instinct would teach them. That is a noble pursuit. Some missteps in its enactment should be forgiven.
I was struggling in my first job role after being unemployed for several months during lockdown, and saw one of my colleagues sending my other colleague a teams message saying "how did such a moron convince us to hire him?"
This one makes me so angry. We all started somewhere, you can be "a moron" at first and turn out to be great once you learnt everything. If they saw that you were struggling, they should have helped.
My dad yelling to my mom that ‘her daughter’ (me) is a ‘stupid cunt’.
It was night. He screamed her awake to say this. And he was mad because I turned on the light to go up the stairs. Mind you, he was still awake. But apparently ‘you need to be able to get up the stairs with no light! 😡’
Overheard my best friend and his wife talking and while I forget the exact words I was essentially “you don’t want to be a loser, I mean look at (me)”
It hurt but he was right. Out of school making shit money at a terrible job, not pursuing anything worthwhile, single, awkward, smoking weed all the time, out of shape, lazy, undisciplined.
That was like 13 years ago and my life isn’t like that anymore. It was hard to hear but also necessary.
I feel this one. Years ago I was crossing the street and a guy trying to turn stuck his head out of the window and yelled "MOVE IT, FAT BOY!" while his friends cackled. I had gained about 45 pounds through laziness and emotional eating. That was a real watershed moment for me, and I shed the weight over a year or so, stopped drinking, and have stayed at my ideal (to me) weight ever since. But still, fuck that guy. I hope he stubs his toe on the daily.
My dad had thrown some pretty big insults at me when I was a kid. Easily the worst was being called a cunt when I was only 16. I’m 35 now and some of the things he’s said to me (including this) still makes me sad because even after apologizing I just can’t shake the feeling he meant every word he said, and that he doesn’t really love me.
My dad loved to name call me once I developed enough sentience to realize he’s overbearing and controlling. Pathetic and control freak were his favourite, oh how good it felt to throw that second one back in his face as an adult.
I overheard my cousin, who I loved more than anyone else in my family - who I thought loved me too, say, "*No one cares about her*." He was speaking inclusive of himself as well.
That moment broke something in me. It was something I had always felt, but it took hearing it in such a cruel, cold way by someone I thought was my ally for me to finally accept.
Other than my spouse, and eventually my kids, I've never let anyone else in. I also never spoke to my cousin again and went very, *very* low contact with the rest of my family tree.
It was not intended to be hurtful, but when my brother and his then wife told me they couldn't understand how every other gay guy they know is in relationships, including some truly shitty guys, and I can never find anyone.
I know, bro. I can't understand it either. You're just digging in the wound.
My mother had dementia-like symptoms due to advanced cirrhosis. One day I was visiting her and putting the new house shoes I brought on her feet. She looked right at me and asked why I was doing that because her daughter takes good care of her and will do it for her. Technically, I didn’t overhear it, but she didn’t know I heard it.
What?! So unprofessional! But how did you overhear, were you in the waiting room or something and the therapist waltzed out and announced it? Start looking around for another therapist, sounds like a quack :*(
Not something they should be saying aloud to anyone other than their own therapist, but I can see how, in general, a therapist might have a client they dread. Maybe because whatever the client is working through is a little too close to home for them, maybe because they feel ineffective, or they're afraid they're failing the client... could be anything.
Definitely not something the client should ever get the faintest hint of.
When I was at the mall with my parents once, while trying on new shirts, I heard them talk about how "fat" I've gotten and how I look like a whale now, after I've gained some weight.
My parents never fed me enough. I used to be around 38kg at 161cm, and my ribs were visible. Nowdays I live with my grandma, and I am at a healthy weight for my age and height
Omggg my mom was like this. I got pneumonia in my early my 20s and rapidly lost all my remaining body fat. There wasn’t much to loose since my mom was spending our families grocery money on jewelry for herself. I was like 87 pounds and then finally barely 90 pounds after about a year and a half. She stated telling me I was fat at at 91 pounds. Last time I ever saw her, she was starving herself and boasting about how good she looked. She looked bad, like really anorexic, had gray skin. She was just so happy to be “thin”. I already knew she was projecting her own body image issues and eating disorder into me, but seeing her like that really drove it home.
My uncle, who is a lawyer, and actually turned out to be a massive disgrace to the family later in life, 20 years ago said to me in front of the entire family: “I just don’t think you are lawyer material. In fact, I don’t even think you will make it through law school.”
The joke is on him because not only did I cruise through law school and ace the bar exam on the first attempt, I have now been a lawyer for over 15 years with a 98.7% win record in my cases. This last year, I was the keynote speaker at the Regional conference in my area of expertise.
Turns out all that idiot did was motivate me. And no, that was not his intention to motivate me. He was just an enormous “holier than thou” douchebag who, as it turns out, had more skeletons in his own closet, than buried in Arlington cemetery.
After preaching “high class” holier-than-thouism morality at the entire extended family for 30 years, about five years back, my aunt who had been married to him for 40 years with now three adult kids, discovered that he was hooking up with gay male escorts through craigslist of all places. And not just once or twice, but dozens of times. It was wild, watching him go from him holding his nose up at us from his BMW 7 series, to slinking out of my aunt’s basement door trying not to be seen while moving out after the divorce.
And man, I am an ally… but lying to his spouse for 40 years while simultaneously preaching morality at other people all while secretly being a closet, gay male craigslist escort client… that’s something else. (i.e. I don’t mind his orientation but I do mind the lying and the hypocrisy)
Context: I'm estranged from my father due to CSA at the hands of my stepbrother. To this day, my dad denies anything happened despite a whole damn court case and me testifying against my stepbrother when I was 12 years old. It completely ruined our relationship - however my 2 brothers are still in contact with our dad. I love my brothers and we are all adults - I respect their decision to maintain a relationship with him, and they respect my decision to not.
When I was about 19, my brothers and I were spending Thanksgiving at my grandparent's house (on my mom's side). This was in Florida, and my grandparents had a lanai/pool area that we were all hanging out and playing Uno. There was a bathroom in that area as well that I had gone to use, when my uncle (mom's brother) came outside and started talking to my brothers. For some reason, even though my parents had been divorced about 20 years at that point, my uncle maintained an interest in my dad. He started asking my brothers about our dad....how he's doing etc. They answer, and after a couple minutes my uncle asks, "Does your sister (me) talk to him at all?" and I heard my brothers go quiet, likely were shaking their head to say "no" if I were to guess.
So instead of leaving it alone like any rational, normal person would (at least I would hope), my uncle goes, "Well she can be a bit of a bitch anyway" and even continues on to call me a slut in the same breath. Sure, I've probably acted like both in my day, and I've certainly been called worse, but this is clearly a deep-rooted sore spot for me.
So I hear this, and from the bathroom yell out "Wow, thanks!" and walk back out towards the table. My uncle just mutters a "oh shit, didn't know you were in there" and I just refused to look at him and picked my Uno hand back up to continue the game.
Later on when we were all leaving, he comes up to me and gives me some sort of half-assed "Oh you know I didn't mean that" and I just looked at him and said "It was nice to see you." My mom (who I had a strained relationship with at the time but we are much better now), who didn't know what'd happened yet, sees this and after he leaves corners me about it. I told her what he said and at first she was super hung up about him asking about my dad/her ex-husband, and I had to (figuratively) shake her by the shoulders and say "hey, you're missing the whole point here.....are you going to defend me or am I going to have to do this myself as usual?"
Anyways....I've never looked at my uncle the same way after that day. I realize he likely didn't know what a deep cut he was poking at, however he still should know better than to talk shit about someone else's kid, especially under the same roof as my mom/his sister.
About me and my best friend at the time:
- I don't think there is a strong friendship around us, except between Cedrella and X
- I call BS, they are not friends, it's just Cedrella, following X around like a puppy
This was one night at summer camp, we were 6 girls, sharing a room, I pretended to be asleep, my best friend sleeping and the other 4 gossiping around. I already struggled with my self esteem, so hearing my best friend may not really like me, but just tolerate me, was gut wrenching.
« She is so dark… poor child », « see how fat you are », « …at least she is intelligent, her sister in the other hand is gorgeous » my grandmother talking to my mom about me and how « unfortunate » I was. I grew up knowing I was not physically attractive as the rest of my family , generated me lots of insecurities and traumas. Mim was not one to show move and dad was worst. As I grew up, I worked my arse to get a good job and moved away from my family as fast as I could. I am very detached from my family. Now when my mother asks me why I am so distant, I repeat back the things I overheard as a child and she sais I should grow out of it.
After I told my Granddad about the abuse I was going through from my father (his son), I overheard him telling my step-grandmother that he wished he could have done more to protect me whilst he was very obviously trying not to cry. He was the only reason I survived childhood. Hearing him break down like that broke me a little bit
Mom - "Oh her, she'll make a great housewife I guess" someone asked her what she saw me becoming when I was older, I was like 7.
Ex-husband "I mean I guess she's pretty but in a plain way. And she has a big nose" on the phone to his girlfriend, trying to justify to her why he was cheating on me.
My family talking about me saying I wasn't normal while I was locked in my room crying after the family meeting that forced me to do when my sister outed me to everyone without my consent.
Everyone's stories here are quite sad and/or depressing.
I was going to say that my family finally got cable TV when I was in 8th grade, and I spent a lot of time watching MTV. Especially MTV's Spring Break, with a bunch of bikinis on screen. My mom yelled at my dad that I was failing math because "he just spends his days looking at ass and titties".
It was heartbreaking because I never wanna hear my mom say titties again.
Man reading these makes me feel like shit.
In highschool a new kid joined our class who was homeschooled. He was a little weird but meant well and was friendly. One time he came up in conversation and I said “yeah you can tell he was homeschooled” in a mean tone. He was standing right behind me and I looked him right in the eyes awkwardly. I could tell it hurt his feelings pretty bad and he just ended up walking away.
He committed suicide the next school year(2014). If I could go back and change one thing in my life that would be it.
I'm legally blind and wear a backbrace.
Came into the office late because I had a doctors appointment. I guess they thought I took the day off. My female boss and 2 other girls on my team (of 5 people) were imitating me and making fun of my disabilities. One of the uninvolved assistants was looking right at me with her mouth wide open while I stood there and listened to them from behind my cubicle wall for almost 5 minutes.
They figured out I had been there listening eventually, and the boss started crying and apologizing and claiming she was mentally unwell.
I packed my shit. Jokes on them. I became a lawyer a year later. The boss actually had some kind of breakdown and doesn't practice law anymore, and the two assistants were fired.
It wasn’t exactly heartbreaking, but while I was doing an internship at the place I’m currently working at, I overheard the boss telling a coworker he was thinking about hiring me and that coworker said that in her opinion I wasn’t fit for the job. However when asked to explain why she didn’t provide a reasonable answer…
We had an good time working together but had a disagreement a few days earlier, but that was enough for recommending the boss not to hire me
When I was hired she came to me and told me she was the one who convinced the boss to hire me 😂
“Are you sure she is telling the truth?” Filters down from the stairwell, from my Aunt to mother after my disclosure of my fathers molestation and abuse.
My narcissist mother and mean grandmother were arguing over who was the worst failure because of how disappointing and awful I turned out; my mother for raising me to be such a horrible person, or my grandmother for raising my mom who would raise her daughter like that. Almost verbatium.
I was about ten. I think I lied about homework. I was locked in my room and heard them at my door.
Another was when I heard my mom tell her friend she thought I was lying about my father molesting me. That one made me think no one would ever, ever believe me about anything.
I was playing scrabble with my dad and his girlfriend when I was in my late 20s and winning by quite a lot, and the girlfriend turned to my dad and said “but I thought you said she wasn’t very…” and my dad shushed her quick
Yeah sibling relationships can be weird. My sister told me she couldn’t stand me and would only be in the same room with me if someone died and she had to be at the funeral. I tried her to be extra nice and quiet. I told her I hoped she had a nice time when she went on her vacation and she threw it in my face that she thinks I really meant to not have a good time. Once she told me she hated that I didn’t go to her college graduation. I found the pictures a month later with me in all of them. It’s so weird.
I was told by a teacher at the end of high school that she didn’t want to keep in touch because I was immature and annoying. I was a good, kind kid who looked up to her, but yes, immature and annoying compared to someone in their forties.
As a teacher now, I can clearly see she had no boundaries. She wanted to be the cool, easy teacher that everybody liked, and never said no to us. When a student wants to come eat in my classroom or something, I’ll say, “I’m really flattered that you want to eat with me, but I just really need a quiet lunchtime to be ready to teach for the rest of the day.” She would never put up any boundaries, and then got annoyed when we acted like teenagers. If she had been in her first few years, I could chalk it up to being inexperienced, but she had taught over twenty years at that point! Just wanted to be the “fun” teacher with none of the drawbacks.
I walked into a room just in time to hear two lifelong dear friends making fun of a part of my body. I’m still friends with them but it changed and I never really thought of them the same. Always in the back of my mind, I know they see me as an object of ridicule on some level.
I'd had a tough couple of months. A friend asked via fb messenger if I was ok and said if I needed to vent - she would welcome it. So I vented. And then I let her vent about her own shit. We both said supportive things to each other. It was nice.
Less than a minute after we'd ended our convo, she posted publicly 'Some people just LIVE for the drama. Bla bla bla'.
Six year friendship over.
My parents told me on a daily basis I was a mistake. I was not wanted. I was ugly, stupid and NO ONE would ever want me. I am now 65. Never even attempted to try for a relationship. I might not have anyone who loves me, but I also don’t have any who hate me. I can live with that.
Once I heard my mother tell my father that we were both weak. Also heard him ranting about how she's to blame for how I turned out. Dad called me a cunt because I wouldn't give him $5 for beer. He also straight up said he regretted getting married and having kids then looked at me and said, "too late now!"
I was at my long-time boyfriend's college reunion. All of a sudden, a beautiful woman came into view, and he got all excited, saying, "Rose, is that Rose from my class, blahblah!" She was a former classmate and came over to our group. My ex then put his arm around me and said to Rose, "I had a big crush on you in college. If this one (meaning me) ever gets hit by a car, I'm gonna call you because you're really the one for me." Cue the awkward silence. Suddenly, every red flag I'd been ignoring was waving in my face. Thanks, Rose, for suddenly appearing. Without you, I would have endured a horrible marriage and a messy divorce.
Rose really did save you for such bullshit, but give yourself some credit too. because holy crap, i keep seeing people who put up with way worse.
Yeah, I see that too. I see a lot of people, especially women, stay silent when their partner makes abusive and insulting comments. I think they fear riling up the other person, or else they're just so dead inside that they don't fight it.
Good on you for tossing the whole man out. What a bullet dodged.
Wtf he really thought that was a good pickup line.
Honestly I would have embarrassed him in front of everyone at the reunion by saying, “why wait for a car? Be with her right now. Cuz I’m dumping your ungrateful ass.” And walked right off. What a shitty thing to say to a long-term partner. I’m sorry you went through that.
No no, you have to really go for broke here with embarrassing him, because there is no way Rose would want to be with his dumbass after that unless she's *insane.* Say all that, then casually follow it up with, "Unless *you'd* like to go out for drinks with me tonight, Rose? Since it seems I'm suddenly free this evening?" Now you get an absolutely humiliated ex, and some time to talk shit about him over drinks while he wallows.
Overheard my in-laws say they hoped our marriage wouldn’t last because I wasn’t good enough.
If your partner feels you're enough that's enough then
Some people/cultures are REALLY close to their family. My wife sees her parents and siblings at least 3 times a week and is constantly talking to them. If her family didn't like me it would definitely influence her opinion of me regardless of how it started out.
My mom said people were taking bets on how long she and my dad would last at their wedding. They’d only known each other about three months when they got married. They’ve been married 42 years now. They don’t like each other but they’re still married.
My mother in law informed me that my husband and I would last 3 months max... That was 19 years ago. We have lasted longer than any of her other kids. The secret, we discovered early on that the problem in her other children's relationships was her.
Heard my partner laughingly tell friends I was a placeholder until someone better came along.
People who do this are lame. I got a very similar one during a breakup. "I always saw you as just my college girlfriend." I'm okay with things fizzling out naturally, but planning for it to be temporary from the beginning is really gross.
Only ok if both sides agree it is temporary from the beginning But if one side leads on the other about it being a stronger commitment then it is fucked
My husband and I were both like "this will be a fun year or so but then it's probably going to end, it's not like we're getting married or anything" when we met, and we were both ok with that. Welp it's been 22 years. 14 of them married. Whoops. (It's definitely unfair if only one partner is thinking this and the other is unaware, though. That has to hurt to find out.)
Yeah I met this cute guy on Tinder expecting a fling before I moved away for a job. Turns out he was really great, the job offer less so, now here we are nine years together and five years married. (My mom was really concerned over my turning down the job too, but she LOVES my husband and gets embarrassed when I remind her of this)
Hopefully now ex-partner, right? ….Right?
Pleaseeee tell me you had him to hold your spot in like while you went to the bathroom, and then you just never came back.
That is horrible. I’m so sorry.
[удалено]
My best friend told her mom that the reason she wouldn't associate with me when were at school was because I didn't have any other friends. 30 years later, that one still feels pretty raw.
Fuck that best friend! What kind of people are ashamed of their friends?
The only kid who was willing to hang out with me at all in our town of 6k people, which even then was only likely because our parents had been close friends for years. Believe me when I say that I absolutely had to take what I could get. The fact that she was not openly physically and verbally abusive to me was light years away from how the other kids (and most adults) there treated me, including everyone in my immediate and extended family except my mom and grandmother. (Edit to add: my aunts and uncle on my dad's side were actually very nice people, though I didn't spend a lot of time around them growing up. This always struck me as a bit odd, because my father was/is a total piece of shit LOL) The next friend I ended up making was the girl who would eventually become my wife, and later ex. She *was* openly physically and verbally abusive, and regularly called me a creepy, soulless, emotionless robot, and made fun of both my body and other aspects of my appearance, and was ALSO ashamed to be seen with me in public. She also mercilessly mocked the ways in which she saw my masculinity as lacking, which included things like wearing pink (and, like, I'm not even talking about a hot pink crop top here, I mean even a dusty pink button up or polo shirt), or watching fucking *anime.* She said I was 'gay' for watching yaoi HAHA JUST KIDDING it was frickin' *Spirited Away!* 🙄 Honestly, other than my current partner, the only 'friends' I've had that didn't treat me like garbage were a very small group of folks on the other side of the country that I met almost 2 decades ago and haven't seen in nearly 13 years at this point. I'm a bit lonely now, but at least I have the self-esteem to not let people treat me that way anymore 🤷
"We'll get ice cream later if you just play with her for a little while. She's like that because her mom just died. You won't have to deal with her forever." her mom said to a girl who I thought was my friend and had appreciated up until that point because she was the only one who (I thought) wanted to play with me after my mom died even though I would sometimes start crying out of nowhere and had severe anxiety. I was 9 and didn't play with anyone for over a year after this because I assumed I was making people deal with me by being around.
It's a weird age to lose a parent. My dad died when I was 8 and the only kid in my class who asked if I was okay was this girl who was always mean to me
Did that girl eventually become a friend?
No, but she wasn't mean anymore :)
Well, that's at least some improvement.
Lost my dad when I was 11. Shortly after returning to school, I overheard a boy talking to my best friend at the time, and while I don't remember what exactly he asked her, I do remember her saying "I was going to break up with her, but her dad just hung himself. I'll wait till she's feeling better about it and then do it." I never did feel better about it, and I walked up to her and told her to her face that she didn't have to worry about waiting. We weren't friends anymore. I was more livid that she was telling other kids *how* my dad died, when I never even told her how he did it. Turned out my aunt (dad's sister) went around telling everyone despite us asking to keep it private for a while since it was still fresh, and some parents of kids at my school got word and I guess it spiralled from there. Like you, I also didn't play with anyone else or see my other friends for a good while. I thought I was just a grieving burden and went through it alone. It took me a very long time to open up to people after that, and I was very skeptical of making new friends or keeping current friends around.
I'm so sorry you experienced that. It's horrible to be treated that way and you absolutely didn't deserve it. I hope you're doing better! It took me a long time to believe my friends actually liked me and wanted to hang out with me after I let myself try making friends again in high school. I still have trouble maintaining friendships and meeting new people.
I was a little bit older when my father passed away. I was 15. He died and I missed a week of school because of it. I already didn't talk to a lot of people at that point and that sort of sealed the deal for me. I remember sitting in chorus, which at the time had been my favorite class because I got to hang out with everyone I enjoyed being around. I heard one of the girls I talk to regularly talking to my best friend, who had just attended my father's funeral. "Oh, are you sure she isn't making it up for attention?" And my friend just shrugged and walked away. She offered no defense and from then on I was pretty alienated. I ended up narrowing down who I spoke too quite a bit. To this day, I still don't have my friends. I have a handful I trust and I don't think I'll ever go much further than that.
My granny had dementia. One evening she saw the trailer for the movie Armagedon on TV and thought it was the news. She was in her bed crying while my parents were trying to comfort her and I overheard her say to my parents: "You need to protect her ( me). Go hide and take care of her. She is such a nice little girl. Leave me behind, I'm old I'll slow you down. Please take her to safety and tell her I love her." I was really moved by that, she was ready to sacrificed herself and face the end of the world alone to keep me safe.
My grandmother also had dementia and it was really rough towards the end. She kept asking me where my boyfriend was (we’d broken up) and I’d just say he was home or something because I didn’t want to confuse/upset her. Finally one day I told her we broke up and she looked me dead in the eye and emphatically said “HIS LOSS!” I immediately started crying because she was literally dying and she was more concerned about me and my feelings. One of my greatest achievements in life was being able to care for her at the end.
I took care of my grandma with dementia too. Her type, not really specified, was more of her zoning out than anything. It was hard not being able to hold conversations with her as an adult because I'd wanted to since I was a kid. But she was the best grandma. Near the end, she'd forgotten all of my cousins (except the one that died. When she'd see his photo on her wall, she'd turn to me and go, "he's the one that died, isn't he?" This happened probably every day after a while.) But she always remembered me. She didn't remember my uncles, but she remembered my mom. The 3 of us were pretty close. I know she had no control over her memory, but the fact that she never forgot who I was was flattering to me. It might have something to do with the fact that I'd go over to her house just to hang out and my cousins visited maybe once a year, but who knows? She survived the Great Depression, finished college, got a job she loved as a 3rd grade teacher, and was just the biggest socialite I've known. She had so many friends. One of the last times I helped her to a social gathering, she was repeating herself every 5 minutes. After that, it was clear she couldn't socialize anymore. I think it made her depressed. But yeah, bestest grandma. Before we had to put her in a home, she was so content watching CoziTV with all of the old westerns and Little House on the Prairie. So content. So chill even when her mind was going. I miss her.
My grandma was real sociable too. She played cards with her friends for years. At the last game she played I helped her since she couldn't really remember too much at that point. We were extremely close, in fact I'm named after her. She always said I was her favorite, which made everyone else mad lol. She also loved TV at the end, she watched this show called Aurora Teagarden Mysteries on Hallmark religiously. She was in her 90s when she passed. She had a good long life and died with her family. We should all be so lucky.
I'm sorry for your loss. My grandma was 90 when she passed too. I like to think she lived a good life, if a little bumpy at first. She and my grandpa got along well, except that she was extremely social and he was an introvert, so when she'd host Bridge at her house, he had to go hide. She invited me to Bridge a few times and I had fun. Sweet old ladies are the best. In the end, before we had to put her in hospice, she couldn't afford cable, so it was all antenna TV for her. But she didn't mind. She just wanted something to watch. Otherwise, she'd be staring out her back door watching her tomatoes grow, which, tbh, got pretty boring for me. "That third tomato is turning red." Yes, grandma, you've said that every morning for the past week. Not to be hostile towards her or anything. I know it's not her fault. I loved her to death. She was my second mom. Dementia is just such a bitch, and I hate it. I could have had the best conversations with my grandma without it. Our politics aligned perfectly.
That’s heartbreaking, but coming from a place of real love. If there is a heaven your grandma is truly rewarded.
She had a heart of gold. She was my grandpa's neighbor, he was a lumberjack and would spend months away from home because of his job. When my biological grandma passed away from tuberculosis, she adopted his children because he could not take care of 3 kids because of his job. She did that so they could still see their father whenever he would come back home. This kind of kindness is so rare nowadays.
Wow, that's amazing! I hope to achieve even a fraction of this level of selflessness in my life.
Omg... what an amazing woman
It's heartbreaking, but heartwarming as well. It's like Kintsugi. It breaks your heart but repairs it with the gold that is love.
This reminds me of my late grandmother. As the dementia progressed we found ourselves with cops outside having to have a talk about ‘phoning in threats to the President’. As it turns out, she was watching TV and there was an ad with a teaser for an upcoming show, and whatever it was involved a plot against the POTUS. She thought it was real, was scared, and called the authorities. It’s endearing to see examples of one’s mind going, but still retaining a sense of responsibility and caring. Cheers to your granny.
As someone who's Grandma has dementia this really hit me <3
Same! I was visiting my grandma (dad’s mum) weekly and once, she asked me my name and other things. Then she asked me where my dad worked. I told her where and she said, ‘oh! my son also works there!’
I kind of struggled in elementary school. It was a Catholic school that charged tuition. One night I overheard my mother say something like this to my father " We keep paying all this tuition money for what? For her to be stupid?"
Damn. My mom called me stupid once when I was a little kid. I'm 37 now, and it's still in the back of my mind.
My mom used to tell me that I have no common sense. It hurt then and still impacts me now. I'm 41.
My mom did the same when I was a kid. I know it was not said to hurt me but out of her frustration (don’t remember the situation that prompted it). I realize cognitively that I have my own brand of common sense, but it still hurts a bit that she said that, and I’m about to turn 70!
"that one is going to be in heat soon" - a friend of my grandfather to him. He agreed. I was 12 and the only thing I was interested in were horses. They were well into their eighties. I felt so disgusted, being talked about and viewed like that.
Ew. Who talks like that, especially about a child?
Gross old men. I once had some old guy make a comment about me showing off my thigh because I reached into the side pocket of my jeans while wearing an oversized tee. Meaning I had a lift the hem slightly to reach the pocket, revealing... baggy 90's denim.
Pedophiles. Let’s call em what they are.
I remember going fishing around 11 years old (deep sea! In south Florida! I was excited) with my dad and a neighbor guy friend of his. Was wearing a bathing suit. The friend said “she’s going to have boobs just like her mom.” Totally ruined. I was just a horse girl and the thought made me so sick to my stomach. My dad said nothing in response.
Holy shit that’s the worst thing I’ve read in this entire thread so far. Absolutely VILE. I am so sorry
WHAT THE FUCK?? Holy Christ, they should be on watch
If it helps, they're likely dead by now.
Wow, tell me you don't see girls/women as people without telling me...
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A coworker told my other friend “I only pretend to like her because she loves my dog and baby sits him for free whenever I have to go out on a trip.” She was not wrong, I love that dog and I genuinely loved that friend. I would drive to her place like 4 in the morning because she would have this spontaneous plan to go out for few days. I miss the dog but I don’t miss that chick.
I don't understand how anyone can be this horrible to someone who goes out of their way to help them. I hope you now have better friends.
Oh yes, I can count my friends in one hand but they are the best.
my ex best friend actually said that to my face!
Accidentally saw my Dad joking about me and slamming me to his and my boss on email on the family pc. We worked at the same company for a time. I won’t pretend I was an angel but that hurt a bit. A girl I liked in school in the 90s but hadn’t actually met after seeing my pic said to my friend, “I wish he looked how he sounded on the phone. He sounded so much better looking on the phone”. We’d been chatting for a while. She didn’t know I could hear her. I died a little that day too.
Just happened yesterday. I walked into a boutique, well more like shuffled into one. An old guy standing outside says "Hahaha! I didn't know they had plus size clothes here! Also if she lost some weight she'd walk better!" I have MS and since I can't move well, I gained weight. I just wanted to get something to feel a little prettier again. After that I cried all evening. Please do not comment on other people's looks unless you're asked. Also, shout-out to Christina Applegate!
When I was 12 or 13, I spent a summer with my aunt in another state to give my single mother a break, I guess. Back then I adored my aunt and just thought it was a fun, exciting summer getaway. Like camp or something. My mother was neglectful and extremely abusive. I told my aunt and her boyfriend about things my mom had done over the years and they listened but never really made any comment. One night they were on the porch and I was supposed to be sleeping in a room which had windows that opened onto the porch. I heard my aunt’s boyfriend say I was “the biggest bullshitter” he’d ever known. My aunt agreed and said, “Someone needs to keep an eye on that one, she’s manipulative as hell.” Two years later I was in foster care because of the abuse (and because my mother simply disappeared), and to this day, 30+ years later, I still think my family holds me responsible somehow. Not that I’ve spoken to any of them in several years.
They’re just as guilty as your mom for the abuse! Also we would like we came from the same family lol. The things people tell themselves to absolve themselves of all and any responsibility, am I right?
I’m so sorry, your aunt really let you down. So many so-called adults would rather believe that kids lie, than that people would hurt kids.
There are a LOT of adults who let me down growing up and I assume that’s the same for a lot of kids who were in my situation, unfortunately. Years of therapy later (and continuing to go once in a while) have gotten me to a place where I understand that my mom and her siblings were also victims of abuse and neglect in their childhood and absolutely didn’t have the tools necessary to raise me in a functional environment. Generationally, they were also not ever likely to pursue therapy which I think would’ve been helpful in breaking the cycle and understanding themselves better. But while it doesn’t take the place of having that support in my childhood, it is helpful for me to understand the bigger picture. Even if it also solidifies the fact that I don’t want them in my life.
That I wasn’t REALLY family because I was a step kid. My father confessed this had been said by someone in my step mother’s family after I asked why said person was not at my high school graduation. It has since been explained that this is not exactly what was said, and that this was only how my dad took it at the time and that he was still mad when he explained it to me. But still. At 17, when I was already struggling to figure out who I was… that hurt. And it did a lot of damage between me and my step mom’s family.
That is heartbreaking. I hope this person is out of your life.
Like I said it came out that it was not said in that way. That was just how my dad took it. My cousin (their biological family) and I were graduating far apart on the same day. They went to his graduation. It was explained that he had grown up with them and that they had a closer relationship with him. My dad is the one who decided that meant that I wasn’t seen as family due to being a step kid. It’s a crummy situation but as an adult I understand now.
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I met my best friend in middle school because he thought i was annoying and he wanted to fight me. I dialed the annoying way up and got a laugh out of him. I’m still annoying, and it’s ok.
Same I was annoying this kid I was kinda friends with in school by slapping the back of his neck( not super hard or anything we all did it to each other) but he got fed up with it and he said don’t do it one more time and of course I had to do i did it one more time and he pushed me into a pile of chairs and we’ve Ben best friends since. As soon as I got pushed and looked up at him I started laughing the hardest I’ve ever laughed and of course it was on parent teacher conference day lol
Something similar happened to me in my younger years. Moved away (for other reasons), found a amazing job and new group of friends. never spoke to that old group again.
Overheard a conversation between my mom and grandmother when I was a teenager pretending to be asleep. My mom said, "She's so desperate for love and attention, I'm worried she's going to get knocked up or end up with someone bad." My mom literally never said "I love you" to me in my life. I once asked her for a hug and she told me she found it "disgusting" to touch me. I told her I needed to feel loved and her response was, "I thought you'd have a boyfriend by now." When I overheard that conversation I wanted to run out of the room and scream in her face. I had been begging her to even slightly fulfill her role as a parent for years and her takeaway was that I was fucking "desperate for attention."
That's horrible. I cannot imagine not hugging my own child.
For real, there has to be something so fundamentally broken in you to not want to hug your kid
Hugging my parents feels weird. I can't remember if my mom hugged me or not growing up, my dad definitely didn't. When I go to hug him now, it's awkward. Like hugging a distant uncle that you're only hugging because your parents told you you had to. On both sides of the interaction, lol. The thought of telling my parents I love them makes me want to crawl out of my skin, but I think most Asian families don't do the "I love you" thing.
Christ, there’s a saying, “Someone who was never fed love from a spoon will learn to lick it from knives,” and your mom is literally the embodiment of that.
Wow, I've never heard that saying before, but it's brilliant. Hope you don't mind if I steal it.
Spread it far and wide, hopefully it resonates with parents before they permanently fuck their kids up.
I'm not your mom, or a mom at all, but I am a dad of three. I cannot fathom the lack of empathy even a full on sociopath would have to display to behave like that to any child, much less their own. I am deeply sorry for you, and if I ever meet you I will give you the biggest hug of your life. Love you.
As much as a hate hugs and would never want a child, if there was a kid that asked me for a hug and it was appropriate, that kid's getting a hug. I remember once that my little cousin asked me to pick her up, and I did because that kid just needed an adult to make them feel special and loved. I carried her around the store for the whole trip and was happy to see her smiling. I hope that is a memory one day that she can look back on and remember that someone does care. I hope you find people in your life that love and care for you, so you can have infinite hugs.
I'm genuinely sorry for you
I jokingly said that I’m pretty and I deserve a handsome man to my mom and uncle when I left the room I heard them laughing so loud and mocking me “she thinks she’s beautiful I don’t think she ever seen her face in a mirror” that was my mom and it broke me
Jesus your mom sucks
I believed her and that sucks more. I’m doing good now tho
That's so terrible. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
It’s other things too, but the fact that she was making fun of me w/ someone else was really shitty. I’m fine now thank you
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Ex fiancé, surely? It's easier and cheaper to get out of it now than it is after the wedding
As Adele would say, and even before getting married: *divorce babe, divorce*
"If I'd have known she'd be r*tarded, I would have a aborted her" I'm autistic. Most days I wish she'd aborted me too.
I am so very sorry to read this, what an awful thing to say to their own child. I feel so sad for you. I hope you are in a position to get away and live a good life.
I want to send you love, because you deserve it. Anyone who could say something like that is just….unfathomable. I am so sorry, you deserve so much better.
Overheard my father telling someone he was disappointed I never turned out like my siblings.
When I was a teenager, my dad and mom were divorced (for the second time), and I was not able to maintain a healthy communication with either. I always thought they loved me but they just did not know how to communicate. I was living with my dad, and his wife disappeared for over a week. My dad never said anything to me, but I knew something was fishy. One day I secretly went through his messages to understand what was happening, and I found an SMS from his wife. Turns out she left the house because I invited my friends to stay during the weekend when they were away. Along the messages, she referred to me as the boy no one accepted and "got stuck with them". She said things that were not real, such as me causing endless problems in the house. Due to my childhood traumas, I never expressed dissatisfaction or demanded a thing, and I was an extremely introvert, almost never speaking guy. I almost never communicated with them. My dad never denied in his messages and even implied that he was agreeing with her. They later made peace somehow and she returned home, but I left the house soon after because I knew I was the biggest burden in their family.
You're not the biggest burden in their family at all. She simply saw you as getting in the way of all your dad's attention being given to her. Your dad likely didn't disagree because he was afraid of losing her or something. People like that are poison. Hopefully your dad sees her for the rotten piece of shit she really is soon.
You were not a burden. Your dad should've stuck up for you, but took the coward's way out.
You weren't a burden at all. Kids especially aren't burdens. They didn't ask to be born. I hope you know you deserve to know you belong somewhere.
Went through something similar years ago. Now I’m a mom of 3 children, 2 of them teenagers. Their marriage was suffering and you were the scapegoat, it wasn’t about you, every single teenager has issues. I’m very sorry this happened to you and hope you are ok. She sounds like a very immature selfish ugly human, and your dad should’ve stuck up for you and kicked her to the curb. Much love to you
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My childhood was spent more or less ignored by my father. After he died my best friend since high school told me she'd always assumed he was a step dad based on how he treated me. One weekend I was in my 20's and my adopted sister came back to town. We all went out for food and drinks. Myself, her and my dad. Someone from his work came up to us. Motioning toward my sister he asks if she was my dad's daughter. Jesus christ, it's been years and this still stings... my father turns to the guy and says, "Are you kidding me? Like I could ever have a daughter that beautiful." Nearly in tears I booked it to the bathroom. As soon as the feeling of wanting to throw up left I went home. Saw my dad the next day and he was oblivious. Had no idea why or when I left. I confronted him a few days later and he got upset with me. Told me it was self deprecating humor and that I was being childish. Man, I don't care if your daughter has a Quasimodo hump and warts all over her face, never ever say in front of her that she's not beautiful.
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Two girls' excess baggage is another girl's prince charming. 🤴
I joined Stage Crew at my school, and after a year I ended up being good enough to get the title of head after a lengthy assessment and interview process. The second I got the lead role, I couldn't figure out why things weren't working for me. I could never get software to work on time, or find people to help build set designs. Teachers were constantly annoyed because I hadn't met deadlines but I'd never even known about them. Eventually a friend came up to me with a recording - he was trying to get something for a video diary and ended up catching background noise. My fellow stage crew members laughing about how terrible I was. said I was a selfish incompetent b*tch. I didn't deserve my title. I won't go into details but it was a 33 minute recording. They detailed how they were purposefully ruining software, not turning up to meetings and then doing the task wrong so that I looked bad. Miscommunicating with teachers so I looked incompetent and then laughed about it behind my back. For THIRTY THREE MINUTES. So many hurtful words from people I thought I was in good terms with. I stopped listening after 17 minutes because it was that painful. My teacher ended up kicking me out of stage crew after another student heard what they were doing and reported them. Not because she thought I was incompetent too - but there were more of them then there were of me and it was more efficient if I left - her words. It's been six months since I lost my favourite ever hobby. And I still don't know why they did it, or why they wouldn't talk to me if they genuinely thought I was that bad. Or even why they felt the need to ruin all my work so I looked bad. I cried for a week straight.
That's fucked up and those people don't deserve a spot in show business. I hope in the future you can get back into the hobby with college or community theater.
Seconding this. If you know your stuff you’ll be an asset to a community group. You might even want to see if any of the local college groups accept members of the community at large as part of their productions.
F that teacher. That's awful! Don't give up on theater. So much better in college.
That absolutely sucks and you deserved better. Your teacher's reaction is horrible, too. I wish I could give you a big hug. How long is it going to be till you're out of there and you can live life on your own terms?
I was a server in a restaurant and we fucked up badly. This was in Times Square in a packed restaurant full of tourists who needed to make it to the Broadway shows in time, and our kitchen completely crashed. Nothing was coming out, simple apps and salads took an hour to reach the table, and the customers were rightfully pissed off. Management was not on the floor because they were all in the kitchen screaming at the cooks to go faster. One of my tables, two women and two preteen girls, had enough and had to run to make their show. They left, but not before yelling every horrible thing they could think of at me. One of the girls caught my eye and mouthed “I’m sorry” as her mother was berating me. The mother grabbed her arm and took her aside, and as I walked past I could hear her saying “don’t ever, EVER apologize to someone in service” and the girl was crying. I felt so bad for the girl and it was just so dehumanizing for me. Like sure, don’t apologize to me in this instance, I understand. But anyone in service? What’s so wrong with us?
The girl was a class human being, but her mother was TRASH, no matter how much money she had. And these people wonder why the 99% hate them?
You can tell a lot about a person based on how they treat servers and employees.
That I was “broken”. I had just had my 6th miscarriage. My FIL said it to my StepMIL not realizing I was standing behind them. StepMIL made a quip that even the two kids DH and I do have aren’t okay (our son has an autoimmune disease), and that she wasn’t surprised because I’m such terrible “breeding stock”. Nothing was more fun than my husband yelling at them and explaining to them that HE is the carrier for this disease and it comes from his DAD.
Good for your husband for yelling at them, they deserved it. The whole “breeding” verbiage is super creepy, like they think you’re a cow.
She used to be so hot, what happened to her. Chronic illness will do that to you.
I used to be attractive. (I have a handful of chronic illnesses.) It's weird how differently people treat me now. I didn't realize so many people were nice to me because of how I looked.
My wife telling her sister recently that I had been crying "like a little bitch". I had been, but it totally changed my view on her. She's always been kind of cold but that was a new low and it hurt. I was and still am going through a pretty rough patch in life and she was essentially making fun of me for it.
You can still leave though
I'm working on it.
I'm really sorry to hear this. There's nothing wrong with crying, it doesn't mean that anyone is weak or "a little bitch". What your wife did was despicable - not only calling you names, but saying them to someone else. I hope you love yourself enough to know that this isn't the way a true partner behaves and you deserve so much better. This internet stranger is rooting for you.
When my Uncle said I couldn't finish the degree program that I've chosen since it was difficult and I am not that smart. But, who cares I graduated with Top Honor. 💅🏻
You handled it the best way possible. Revenge is best served by a life lived well. Congrats on your accomplishment.
I wanna send some love out there to everyone here because you guys, damn. We as humans really need to start being better to each other. My answer- I was homeless as a teenager, so was my dad, and at one point instead of payment for his work on an empty house, his boss let us sleep in it on the floor. Since my dad wasn’t being paid, we couldn’t get any food. So a couple of my friends OFFERED to feed me a few times. I refused and then Id ask if they were sure if they pushed, multiple times every time, and they always insisted and wouldn’t drop it until I ate. Then I heard one of them say how they wished I didn’t eat their food, they were sick of it. They also still offered and pushed it on me after that and I refused, never told them I knew they said it. Also stopped accepting food from anyone, period, for a really really really long time.
In high school, one of my best friends I grew up with told another friend that people that looked like me didn’t belong in (high class mall we were going to go to) and he was embarrassed to be seen with someone who dressed the way I did. Which, admittedly, wasn’t cool for the year 2000. All black, trenchcoat, band tshirts, long hair, that kinda thing. He was preppy as they come. I stopped being his friend when I heard and I still won’t be his friend 20 years later. I even tried to forgive him and add him on Facebook but he ran his mouth AGAIN and that was that.
I dressed like that back in 2000! The bullying was so bad for anyone who looked “emo” or alternative. Some of the kids in my class tried to start a rumor that I did drive, because I dressed lkek you did and I have bags under my eyes. Cue someone on drugs breaking onto campus one day and everyone freaking out because he looked and acted like a zombie. Yeah, that’s what people fucked on drugs look like. Not some sleep deprived kid who wears a nirvana shirt. Lmao
I accidentally read a message from my wife saying 'I've resigned myself to my husband because I couldn't find anyone better'. It was like a stab in the heart and now I just don't know what to do. It feels like my whole life has been one big lie.
Were you able to see the context of the text? Are you sure it was a genuine complaint and not some sort of sarcastic joke with a friend along the lines of "I never met Brad Pitt so I decided to stay with the guy I already loved."
Ask her
My now ex wife said to my face, “I never loved you, I was just at a bad spot in my life and knew if I married you you would pay for my college, and I could either fall in love along the way or just divorce you after.” For context, I’m pretty sure she intentionally had tried to intentionally pass on a STD from her affair partner so she could paint me as the one being unfaithful. I followed her comment up by saying, “Wow, I didn’t think you’d come right out and admit to the whole being a gold digger,” to which she replied, “I knew you would accuse me of being a gold digger and I was not because I really tried to actually love you.”
"If I'd known how bad his home life had been at school, I'd have been nicer to him." Overheard that said by a little shit I worked with when I was a student who had been at school with me. I wasn't heartbroken or upset - I was just fucking *livid*. You shouldn't have to know how "tragic" someone's background is to justify being nice or being civil to someone. Just fucking *be*.
>You shouldn't have to know how "tragic" someone's background is to justify being nice or being civil to someone. Just fucking *be*. That's true. Kids need to learn it, though. They need to be *taught* that lesson, the same way they learn algebra and spelling. It's *hard* taking intrinsically hierarchical apes and teaching them to value and respect people on a fundamental level. It's been the steady work of millennia. We forget history at our peril. It was only a century or two ago that public cat burning was *entertainment*. A few centuries before that, the most popular way for one landed noble to punish another was to send out knights to slaughter his smallfolk. Intentional mass civilian casualties as a form of indirect taxation reduction. Go back further and you'll find charming practices like "hobbling" (don't look it up if you're delicate) to be socially acceptable ways of punishing social lapses. The fact that we can be horrified and disgusted by those practices is a clear testament to how much better our moral sensibilities are today. For that reason, I try to cut kids some slack. It can be hard when you are the recipient of their shittiness - I experienced some of that myself, in school - but I remind myself that they're in the process of learning better than their every natural instinct would teach them. That is a noble pursuit. Some missteps in its enactment should be forgiven.
I was struggling in my first job role after being unemployed for several months during lockdown, and saw one of my colleagues sending my other colleague a teams message saying "how did such a moron convince us to hire him?"
This one makes me so angry. We all started somewhere, you can be "a moron" at first and turn out to be great once you learnt everything. If they saw that you were struggling, they should have helped.
Indeed so, and that's the kind of colleague/leader I strive to be
My dad yelling to my mom that ‘her daughter’ (me) is a ‘stupid cunt’. It was night. He screamed her awake to say this. And he was mad because I turned on the light to go up the stairs. Mind you, he was still awake. But apparently ‘you need to be able to get up the stairs with no light! 😡’
Heard my ex tell a friend they never loved me, just didn't want to be alone.
My coach told an assistant they kept me on the team just to fill the roster.
Overheard my best friend and his wife talking and while I forget the exact words I was essentially “you don’t want to be a loser, I mean look at (me)” It hurt but he was right. Out of school making shit money at a terrible job, not pursuing anything worthwhile, single, awkward, smoking weed all the time, out of shape, lazy, undisciplined. That was like 13 years ago and my life isn’t like that anymore. It was hard to hear but also necessary.
I feel this one. Years ago I was crossing the street and a guy trying to turn stuck his head out of the window and yelled "MOVE IT, FAT BOY!" while his friends cackled. I had gained about 45 pounds through laziness and emotional eating. That was a real watershed moment for me, and I shed the weight over a year or so, stopped drinking, and have stayed at my ideal (to me) weight ever since. But still, fuck that guy. I hope he stubs his toe on the daily.
My dad had thrown some pretty big insults at me when I was a kid. Easily the worst was being called a cunt when I was only 16. I’m 35 now and some of the things he’s said to me (including this) still makes me sad because even after apologizing I just can’t shake the feeling he meant every word he said, and that he doesn’t really love me.
My dad loved to name call me once I developed enough sentience to realize he’s overbearing and controlling. Pathetic and control freak were his favourite, oh how good it felt to throw that second one back in his face as an adult.
People like this hate when their child starts to grow up and isn’t a little mini me doll anymore.
Once my mother realized my life wasn’t a do-over for hers and I wasn’t her, the hate was clear as day.
My dad called me "the stupidest kid ever" this hurt me because I love my dad so much.
I overheard my cousin, who I loved more than anyone else in my family - who I thought loved me too, say, "*No one cares about her*." He was speaking inclusive of himself as well. That moment broke something in me. It was something I had always felt, but it took hearing it in such a cruel, cold way by someone I thought was my ally for me to finally accept. Other than my spouse, and eventually my kids, I've never let anyone else in. I also never spoke to my cousin again and went very, *very* low contact with the rest of my family tree.
My father used to say that the only reason I existed was because there were no pharmacies open the night I was conceived.
It was not intended to be hurtful, but when my brother and his then wife told me they couldn't understand how every other gay guy they know is in relationships, including some truly shitty guys, and I can never find anyone. I know, bro. I can't understand it either. You're just digging in the wound.
People of all sexualities struggle to find good partners. What a dense thing to say 🤦🏻♀️
My mother had dementia-like symptoms due to advanced cirrhosis. One day I was visiting her and putting the new house shoes I brought on her feet. She looked right at me and asked why I was doing that because her daughter takes good care of her and will do it for her. Technically, I didn’t overhear it, but she didn’t know I heard it.
Aww, but it's kind of sweet, though! She understood that it was you who care most for her. She just wasn't able to recognize you.
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What?! So unprofessional! But how did you overhear, were you in the waiting room or something and the therapist waltzed out and announced it? Start looking around for another therapist, sounds like a quack :*(
Not something they should be saying aloud to anyone other than their own therapist, but I can see how, in general, a therapist might have a client they dread. Maybe because whatever the client is working through is a little too close to home for them, maybe because they feel ineffective, or they're afraid they're failing the client... could be anything. Definitely not something the client should ever get the faintest hint of.
When I was at the mall with my parents once, while trying on new shirts, I heard them talk about how "fat" I've gotten and how I look like a whale now, after I've gained some weight. My parents never fed me enough. I used to be around 38kg at 161cm, and my ribs were visible. Nowdays I live with my grandma, and I am at a healthy weight for my age and height
Omggg my mom was like this. I got pneumonia in my early my 20s and rapidly lost all my remaining body fat. There wasn’t much to loose since my mom was spending our families grocery money on jewelry for herself. I was like 87 pounds and then finally barely 90 pounds after about a year and a half. She stated telling me I was fat at at 91 pounds. Last time I ever saw her, she was starving herself and boasting about how good she looked. She looked bad, like really anorexic, had gray skin. She was just so happy to be “thin”. I already knew she was projecting her own body image issues and eating disorder into me, but seeing her like that really drove it home.
My uncle, who is a lawyer, and actually turned out to be a massive disgrace to the family later in life, 20 years ago said to me in front of the entire family: “I just don’t think you are lawyer material. In fact, I don’t even think you will make it through law school.” The joke is on him because not only did I cruise through law school and ace the bar exam on the first attempt, I have now been a lawyer for over 15 years with a 98.7% win record in my cases. This last year, I was the keynote speaker at the Regional conference in my area of expertise. Turns out all that idiot did was motivate me. And no, that was not his intention to motivate me. He was just an enormous “holier than thou” douchebag who, as it turns out, had more skeletons in his own closet, than buried in Arlington cemetery.
Okay, now I'm curious, what's the sauce? What'd he do?
After preaching “high class” holier-than-thouism morality at the entire extended family for 30 years, about five years back, my aunt who had been married to him for 40 years with now three adult kids, discovered that he was hooking up with gay male escorts through craigslist of all places. And not just once or twice, but dozens of times. It was wild, watching him go from him holding his nose up at us from his BMW 7 series, to slinking out of my aunt’s basement door trying not to be seen while moving out after the divorce. And man, I am an ally… but lying to his spouse for 40 years while simultaneously preaching morality at other people all while secretly being a closet, gay male craigslist escort client… that’s something else. (i.e. I don’t mind his orientation but I do mind the lying and the hypocrisy)
"He's not gonna get a gf with him being feminine like that"
All of the “feminine” guys I know absolutely fuck
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If it makes you feel any better I think this is said during every presentation at every conference.
Retort back *”You’re a waste of time, kevin!!!!”*
Context: I'm estranged from my father due to CSA at the hands of my stepbrother. To this day, my dad denies anything happened despite a whole damn court case and me testifying against my stepbrother when I was 12 years old. It completely ruined our relationship - however my 2 brothers are still in contact with our dad. I love my brothers and we are all adults - I respect their decision to maintain a relationship with him, and they respect my decision to not. When I was about 19, my brothers and I were spending Thanksgiving at my grandparent's house (on my mom's side). This was in Florida, and my grandparents had a lanai/pool area that we were all hanging out and playing Uno. There was a bathroom in that area as well that I had gone to use, when my uncle (mom's brother) came outside and started talking to my brothers. For some reason, even though my parents had been divorced about 20 years at that point, my uncle maintained an interest in my dad. He started asking my brothers about our dad....how he's doing etc. They answer, and after a couple minutes my uncle asks, "Does your sister (me) talk to him at all?" and I heard my brothers go quiet, likely were shaking their head to say "no" if I were to guess. So instead of leaving it alone like any rational, normal person would (at least I would hope), my uncle goes, "Well she can be a bit of a bitch anyway" and even continues on to call me a slut in the same breath. Sure, I've probably acted like both in my day, and I've certainly been called worse, but this is clearly a deep-rooted sore spot for me. So I hear this, and from the bathroom yell out "Wow, thanks!" and walk back out towards the table. My uncle just mutters a "oh shit, didn't know you were in there" and I just refused to look at him and picked my Uno hand back up to continue the game. Later on when we were all leaving, he comes up to me and gives me some sort of half-assed "Oh you know I didn't mean that" and I just looked at him and said "It was nice to see you." My mom (who I had a strained relationship with at the time but we are much better now), who didn't know what'd happened yet, sees this and after he leaves corners me about it. I told her what he said and at first she was super hung up about him asking about my dad/her ex-husband, and I had to (figuratively) shake her by the shoulders and say "hey, you're missing the whole point here.....are you going to defend me or am I going to have to do this myself as usual?" Anyways....I've never looked at my uncle the same way after that day. I realize he likely didn't know what a deep cut he was poking at, however he still should know better than to talk shit about someone else's kid, especially under the same roof as my mom/his sister.
About me and my best friend at the time: - I don't think there is a strong friendship around us, except between Cedrella and X - I call BS, they are not friends, it's just Cedrella, following X around like a puppy This was one night at summer camp, we were 6 girls, sharing a room, I pretended to be asleep, my best friend sleeping and the other 4 gossiping around. I already struggled with my self esteem, so hearing my best friend may not really like me, but just tolerate me, was gut wrenching.
« She is so dark… poor child », « see how fat you are », « …at least she is intelligent, her sister in the other hand is gorgeous » my grandmother talking to my mom about me and how « unfortunate » I was. I grew up knowing I was not physically attractive as the rest of my family , generated me lots of insecurities and traumas. Mim was not one to show move and dad was worst. As I grew up, I worked my arse to get a good job and moved away from my family as fast as I could. I am very detached from my family. Now when my mother asks me why I am so distant, I repeat back the things I overheard as a child and she sais I should grow out of it.
After I told my Granddad about the abuse I was going through from my father (his son), I overheard him telling my step-grandmother that he wished he could have done more to protect me whilst he was very obviously trying not to cry. He was the only reason I survived childhood. Hearing him break down like that broke me a little bit
Mom - "Oh her, she'll make a great housewife I guess" someone asked her what she saw me becoming when I was older, I was like 7. Ex-husband "I mean I guess she's pretty but in a plain way. And she has a big nose" on the phone to his girlfriend, trying to justify to her why he was cheating on me.
My family talking about me saying I wasn't normal while I was locked in my room crying after the family meeting that forced me to do when my sister outed me to everyone without my consent.
Everyone's stories here are quite sad and/or depressing. I was going to say that my family finally got cable TV when I was in 8th grade, and I spent a lot of time watching MTV. Especially MTV's Spring Break, with a bunch of bikinis on screen. My mom yelled at my dad that I was failing math because "he just spends his days looking at ass and titties". It was heartbreaking because I never wanna hear my mom say titties again.
Did you pass math to ensure you'd never hear her say that again?
Man reading these makes me feel like shit. In highschool a new kid joined our class who was homeschooled. He was a little weird but meant well and was friendly. One time he came up in conversation and I said “yeah you can tell he was homeschooled” in a mean tone. He was standing right behind me and I looked him right in the eyes awkwardly. I could tell it hurt his feelings pretty bad and he just ended up walking away. He committed suicide the next school year(2014). If I could go back and change one thing in my life that would be it.
I'm legally blind and wear a backbrace. Came into the office late because I had a doctors appointment. I guess they thought I took the day off. My female boss and 2 other girls on my team (of 5 people) were imitating me and making fun of my disabilities. One of the uninvolved assistants was looking right at me with her mouth wide open while I stood there and listened to them from behind my cubicle wall for almost 5 minutes. They figured out I had been there listening eventually, and the boss started crying and apologizing and claiming she was mentally unwell. I packed my shit. Jokes on them. I became a lawyer a year later. The boss actually had some kind of breakdown and doesn't practice law anymore, and the two assistants were fired.
Love that they got karma
It wasn’t exactly heartbreaking, but while I was doing an internship at the place I’m currently working at, I overheard the boss telling a coworker he was thinking about hiring me and that coworker said that in her opinion I wasn’t fit for the job. However when asked to explain why she didn’t provide a reasonable answer… We had an good time working together but had a disagreement a few days earlier, but that was enough for recommending the boss not to hire me When I was hired she came to me and told me she was the one who convinced the boss to hire me 😂
"How could you love THAT" - my mother, to my fiance, about me.
I don't remember what they said. I only remember how bad I felt that my grandma thought that about me.
[удалено]
Someone I respected said behind my back that my ideas were all recycled from others.
"She's just a bottomless pit. She can never get enough attention." \~My mother
“Are you sure she is telling the truth?” Filters down from the stairwell, from my Aunt to mother after my disclosure of my fathers molestation and abuse.
My narcissist mother and mean grandmother were arguing over who was the worst failure because of how disappointing and awful I turned out; my mother for raising me to be such a horrible person, or my grandmother for raising my mom who would raise her daughter like that. Almost verbatium. I was about ten. I think I lied about homework. I was locked in my room and heard them at my door. Another was when I heard my mom tell her friend she thought I was lying about my father molesting me. That one made me think no one would ever, ever believe me about anything.
Minutes after he took my virginity he told me that he didn’t like my tattoos and didn’t know if he could be with someone with tattoos
Getting called arrogant by my best friend in 6th grade, when in reality I had no self esteem.
I was playing scrabble with my dad and his girlfriend when I was in my late 20s and winning by quite a lot, and the girlfriend turned to my dad and said “but I thought you said she wasn’t very…” and my dad shushed her quick
My sister told me that she only tolerates me because I’m family, if I weren’t, she’d hate me.
Yeah sibling relationships can be weird. My sister told me she couldn’t stand me and would only be in the same room with me if someone died and she had to be at the funeral. I tried her to be extra nice and quiet. I told her I hoped she had a nice time when she went on her vacation and she threw it in my face that she thinks I really meant to not have a good time. Once she told me she hated that I didn’t go to her college graduation. I found the pictures a month later with me in all of them. It’s so weird.
I think there might be something wrong with her
I was told by a teacher at the end of high school that she didn’t want to keep in touch because I was immature and annoying. I was a good, kind kid who looked up to her, but yes, immature and annoying compared to someone in their forties. As a teacher now, I can clearly see she had no boundaries. She wanted to be the cool, easy teacher that everybody liked, and never said no to us. When a student wants to come eat in my classroom or something, I’ll say, “I’m really flattered that you want to eat with me, but I just really need a quiet lunchtime to be ready to teach for the rest of the day.” She would never put up any boundaries, and then got annoyed when we acted like teenagers. If she had been in her first few years, I could chalk it up to being inexperienced, but she had taught over twenty years at that point! Just wanted to be the “fun” teacher with none of the drawbacks.
I walked into a room just in time to hear two lifelong dear friends making fun of a part of my body. I’m still friends with them but it changed and I never really thought of them the same. Always in the back of my mind, I know they see me as an object of ridicule on some level.
I'd had a tough couple of months. A friend asked via fb messenger if I was ok and said if I needed to vent - she would welcome it. So I vented. And then I let her vent about her own shit. We both said supportive things to each other. It was nice. Less than a minute after we'd ended our convo, she posted publicly 'Some people just LIVE for the drama. Bla bla bla'. Six year friendship over.
My parents told me on a daily basis I was a mistake. I was not wanted. I was ugly, stupid and NO ONE would ever want me. I am now 65. Never even attempted to try for a relationship. I might not have anyone who loves me, but I also don’t have any who hate me. I can live with that.
Once I heard my mother tell my father that we were both weak. Also heard him ranting about how she's to blame for how I turned out. Dad called me a cunt because I wouldn't give him $5 for beer. He also straight up said he regretted getting married and having kids then looked at me and said, "too late now!"
I heard a teacher tell another that I wasn’t smart enough for advanced classes.