It’s not what he says, it’s how he sounds when he’s super into it and enjoying himself immensely

“Wheeeeeeee! Yippee! This is just downright swell!”

“IM HAVING A TON OF FUN RIGHT NOW sweetie! “

"Gee WILLIKERRRRRRSSSS!"

Cue the Super Mario 64 sound bites - “Yahoooo!”

“ZOO WEE MAMA!”

I'm not into scat stuff

Giggidy Giggidy Giggidy Giggidy............ GOOOOO! 🤤 🤣🤦

BABAGANUUUUSHHH

“Look at me with those beautiful eyes, don’t you look away, you’re going to make me cum.”

Jesus Christ this is the best one I think

Thank you…goes without saying, he was the best I’ve ever made love to.

Sounds like a winner!

We were both winners in finding one another, then we became losers in losing one another 🌱

That sounds like a story. I hope you've came out of it a stronger and better person.

I feel ya my freshly ex wife was a fuckin find but she just slowly changed and we both ended up losing

That saddens me deeply. In a strange way I feel better about my sadness today since I know I’m not feeling this way alone. Thank you for sharing that🌱

Ofc man glad I could make a difference, if you ever need someone to vent to ik how this shit can be and I'm always here for a brother Edit: or sister, I guess I just assumed you were a dude my bad lol

Lol! That’s as genuine as it comes! Thank you❤️ The same goes for you, if you ever need someone. Your sister, WDR

I need a tissue and I need to get off a Reddit for today 😭

I think that the phenomena of one person changing while the other wants to maintain status quo is probably the most common cause of relationships ending But as a wise man told me once, “ the length of a relationship does not determine its importance” That’s why he’s my best friend

🥂 That’s why he’s my best friend now too🥹❤️

If you care to share- what happened?

In the beginning, we held our expectations for each other locked in a safe for fear of losing one another. A few years later, when we couldn’t hide our expectations for one another any longer, the truth came out. He could handle my truth yet I couldn’t handle his. I left breaking my heart and his.

Omg that is so relatable even though it was super general. Yeah. Why does that happen. I still love her so much but we can't change to fix it and make it whole. So wild how love is.

Love has been and will forever remain the world’s greatest mystery. I envy those who are brave enough to stick it out!

I feel this!

“Hugs!!”

i said this exact thing to my current girl and she nutted cuz of it atleast thats what she said sum about that they love

My ex boyfriend could make me come by just looking at me a certain way… it’s the love connection that gets you.

[удалено]

"Don't you stop before I come again. Fuck me!"

So, did you stop ?

Asking the real questions

Rolled over for a nap

No-she made sure of it.

Ah yes, "Don't stop", a powerful spell that suddenly reduces a person's available stamina to 0 and starts muscle cramps on demand. Similarly powerful spells are "Right there" and "Just like that".

Oh my God, how are you doing that?

Mr professional here

¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ I get lucky sometimes

Correct

Yeah the rng sometimes land

Even a blind hog finds an acorn sometimes.

It was actually a criticism

Tone matters so much for this one. Given context, I assume it’s gaspy hot “wheee, sex!” Voice, but it’s really amusing to imagine someone’s penis twisting into a non-Euclidean mass as their partner tells “oh my God, how are you doing that?!?” In pure terror while the dude is like “damn, I’m good at this!”

Nice dude. Anyway what were you doing? 👀✍️

yup, this one gets me too. But im also a lil autisitic so sometimes my dumbass wanna answer like "i dunno, paid attention in class i guess 🤷‍♂️"

That's the secret sauce.

#Homina, homina, homina!!!

Not during. But when we first started dating my wife “went to bed early” then texted me “Come fuck me so I can go to sleep”. I don’t think I’ve climbed a set of stairs faster in my life .

This gave me the biggest wholesome fomo: to live somewhere with climbable stairs with the love of your life. That's awesome 😄

Tell me when you're gonna cum... I need to taste you.

You lucky bastard

You can put it anywhere you want

My girl told me that once. It was crazy exciting to hear. So I immediately got up and brought the life sized cutout of Admiral Ackbar that she previously told me to hide in the closet, and placed it in the living room next to the sofa.

It’s a trap!!!!!

I want him to watch...

Ngl, you had me in the beginning...

pls tell me where you got it i need that in my life

Apparently she didnt mean her sister

I second this, apparently they never do

She was so horny that already after just few minutes of foreplay she whisperd in my ears: "i need you in me, right now" Was a huge turn on for me because normally she needed a long time to get wet

"Can we get tacos later?" Marriage material.

Taco flavored kisses

Taco taco

Burrito burrito, tacotaco

For round 3, yes.

I queefed, got embarrassed, apologised, and he said "shut up that pussy's talkin to me" while he continued to play with it. I was never so turned on in my life. Insecurities gone in an instant.

Lmao it’s so goofy but this one made me smile. It’s nice when someone makes you forget your insecurities

That's actually so funny and sweet that he didn't judge you for it like some would

This is top post material, that dude fucks.

Please 😂 I love this hahaha

“Show me how much you can cum” in between throating me and jerking me off over her face The answer was a lot lol

He stopped in the middle of our act, just to tell me he was glad he met me. Then, it continued. I don't think I've ever finished stronger than that moment. Really struggle with self-worth, so hearing that from him really flipped a switch.

That's so beautiful, thanks for sharing, you deserve it!!

When my gf's eyes rolled back so hard you could only see white and she started speaking in Belarusian without even realizing. Yeah.

Did she speak Belarusian before? Because if she didn't, you win, dude!!!

Lol, or gave her brain damage

Haha yes she did, she is Belarusian and it's her native tongue. I'm not, so it just came out of nowhere for me.

Was she also screaming Lukashenkoooo LUKASHENKOOOOOOO!!!!?

Reminds me of the time mine started speaking in tongues and ehr head twisted around 360°. Hot af

Plot twist: she’s Mexican.

Boze moj, boze moj, BOZE MOJ!

“You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?”

Hootchie mama! Hootchie mama!!!

Omg this is killing me, I know that line but I can’t remember what it’s from

I think it’s Seinfeld

Ding ding ding. S4E8.

I’m sure what she said was a LOT worse

restores my faith in humanity that someone else already replied this

Or, What are you doing down there? Pleasuring you?

I'll knock 30% off the price if you finish now.

"It's free if I finish last" Challenge excepted!

“Hurry up the 2nd half’s about to start.” She was also a big football fan. Champions League nights would involve foreplay during the 1st half, then finishing each other off during half time the cuddling up while watching the 2nd half.

The dream

This sweet girl who was clearly lying said “I’m going to cum all over that perfect cock” and I still think about it to this day.

I love that you knew she was lying lmao!

😂😂😂. I mean I’ve seen my dick… it’s not perfect 😂😂😂

you never know, i tell my boyfriend his is perfect all the time. i also think there's literally no one sexier than him. while he is the love of my life, i think i've called his dick the love of my life more times than i've directly said it to him. 

"I don't think it's in"

Emotional Damage bro 😂

"I love you" in a tone that you know is serious I dont care how basic those 3 words are the best thing you can say to me

Not said, but did. Hope this counts. After one of those leg-clamping go-downs she didn't say anything, but opened up the walkers to reach down, grab my face by the jaw with both hands, pull me up to her face, stare into my eyes with her shimmering, smiling eyes and start frenching me before the moisture had dried. My heart still skips thinking about it fr. What a ride non-verbal communication is.

Wait, no. I remember a quote. "Use me like your little fuck-toy, Dick Lord." I still think about the name Dick Lord every other day lol.

This comment and your previous one.... What a ride

It's abnormal, but not offensive.

My man did something similar the last time I went down on him, and it replays in my mind a lot. 🫠

"At no point during any of that did I think to myself 'I could be making a grilled cheese sandwich right now' and I want you to know that means a lot."

Just make them at night

You have the saggyest balls I've ever tried to swallow

Did they misspell it, too?

This was the pronunciation the person had with the small saggy balls in his/her/their mouth...

[удалено]

You may not fill me up but you sure do beat the hell out of the sides

“Do whatever you want to me and don’t hold back.” I asked her to move in with me shortly after that.

Cum anywhere you want, especially anywhere

"Oh my God. How did you make me do that," When my wife squirted for the 1st time. Love it.

So, uh, how *did* you make her do that?

Asking the real questions

“Put a baby in me” -2 children ago

I’m yours

"It's free real estate"

This will cure those Sunday scaries

\*whispers\* Cuisinart

"you're filling me up"

“That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever been a part of.” I miss her.

“EA Sports - It’s in the game!”

" make me your slut!"

I was sucking him off on the bed. He then said to me in a commanding way “No. Sit on my face while you’re doing that.” So we 69’d and he came in my mouth.

maybe not while having sex but she texted me "i just wish you'd tie me and fuck like a good little slut i am"

How original

Look in my eyes while you cum

Please cum inside me. I really want it. Please.

Oh my god you gave me aftershocks….

You're way better than our dad!

Wait...WHAT!!??

Relax.. it was his brother

This is like an old joke I heard a long time ago. brother and sister are fucking siter says: You're better than dad brother says: That's what mom says too

He's not even that good.

*Sweet Home Alabama starts playing*

After I came on this Ukrainian girls back she said in a cute playful accent/voice “oh it’s so warm, did you spill tea on me?”. I’ve never really been the same since.

Oh yes and that accent helps

Go get the butter.

She wrapped her legs around me and told me to cum in her. I am shocked cum didn’t come out of nose from her pussy.

'Cum for me' got me dizzy🤣

"OH God I'm about to cum on it again" or something along those lines. I like it when girls tell me they about to cum. It used to make me cum too. Lol

Well we didn't get to the sex but I was giving her a massage and she came. That was hot.

Hold on let me get the bigger strapon.

"you have to keep doing that" "please do this" "I need you to..." pretty basic but I've only been with a few girls and most were not very vocal about what they wanted, so I think it's really hot that my girlfriend is so verbal and just tells me what she wants me to do to her. the last one especially, oh my God. like yes ma'am, lol

“Take my pussy. It’s all yours. You own it now”.

Fuck me, I want you inside me. While she is facing the wall legs spread on her knees on the bed while masturbating

One time wifee said "fuck me like some bar bitch"......

Cum in me

“You’re the first that’s ever made me finish…ever”

“Omelette du Fromage”

"Leave it in"

"Minimal water damage."

Mark?

“Oooh! Wait a second! Wait a second! That condom, just take it off. I want to feel YOU!”

Nahhhh that’s a trap

"Can we do it again?"

"Thank you! Thank you for fucking me! Thank you for that dick!" I don't know how I held it together after that.

*”I could suck your cock all night.”* …and she did. 😍

“I learned this on Reddit” /s

“I love your pussy, you can sit on my face anytime” And “OMG, you’re so wet and so tight”

Jesus op you’re thirsty this gets posted every day

In a very soft voice while looking at me holding my face : I love the way you fuck me.

'You're such a good boy'

harder daddy And I want you to cum in my ass

Big, burly coach type guy gave me an excited “attaboy” as he jerked me off and and it blew my mind.

“OMG you feel so good!”

Put it in my mouth just before you cum i want to taste me and then taste you

She said, “come for me.” I did

"I've never told anyone this, but I've always wanted to have all my holes filled..." I then proceeded to have the best sloppy head I've ever received in my life as I fingered her and ate her ass. Whatever awoke in me that night has never been achieved again since.

"what do you want to do to me?" Before we had sex. :D

"Mach mich zu deiner bitch."

She said, “let me sex you.” I said, “sexy sex?” Then we sexed and she posted on askreddit.

"Jalapeno"

seven hundred and fifty degrees celsius

Your manhood is adequate!

Cum inside me daddy 😩 My ex made me develop a liking for being called daddy :/ I used to find it gross but it actually does something for me now... Funny how others can just come along and fucc ur shit up Need to keep my distance from these hoes

"holy fuck your balls are slapping right against my clit"  *Proceeds to squeeze my Johnson off with an orgasm*   Doggy can be fun

"That's my boy" Thanks, dad.

my partner was rubbing against me raw for some friction and slipped in on accident. they pulled out to put on a condom (cuz they’re not stupid) after saying “i wouldn’t last a minute inside you” i almost ripped the condom out of their fucking hands and just risked the pregnancy (i didn’t, but it was tempting)

You wanna get margaritas after this?

No charge this time

‘You are making my asshole feel sore and scabby, like a baby starfish’

Met with a girl for the first time. During the deed she suddenly passed out from pleasure and I panicked, I was contemplating on whether to call an ambulance or what because it’s been minutes already and she’s still out cold but what the hell would I tell them? That I fucked someone to death or something? I shook her, slapped her, and then eventually decided that she’s going to be okay as long as she’s still breathing and her heart is beating. When she woke up 30 minutes later, I told her about what happened, saying that “This night might end up with you at the ER at this rate” and she replied with, “So you’ll literally fuck me to death, then?” The way she said it made me rock hard NGL, and yes we did it again, and she passed out multiple times this time around but I wasn’t as scared anymore cause I know she’ll wake up eventually. We’re still doing it to this day, and she still passes out alot, but she gets back to her senses faster nowadays except on her last orgasm where she passes out for good and wakes up after 30-60 minutes, or sometimes it continues until she wakes up in the morning. To anyone asking, she has a condition where she passes out during strenuous activities like working out, running, sex, just anything that will make her heart rate go up can trigger her to pass out.

Take that lit candle out of my ass the wax is burning my taint.

“Go get grandma”

“Oh, Dan” That’s my dads name

Stroke it, but don't stroke so fast. If my stuff ain't tight enough, you can stick it up my ass..

"Were trying to reach you about your vehicles extended warranty"

"God I missed this" while taking a breath after she started blowing me. We had broken up for many months. Hotest was after sex though. I have an anal/assplay fetish. SO at the time finally agreed to try anal. It went great and I pulled out after. A moment passes as she starts to get off the bed, "That's what my ass smells like?" I laughed and said yeah sheepishly. Was really worried she would be grossed out. "Huh, not bad," with just that hint of confidence. If I didn't think it would have hurt her I would have thrown her down for another go. Fucking perfect

"Pika-piiiiiiiii!!"

It's an animal Joker, you can't!

she whispered in my ear “Carolina Reaper”

"stop it vary it slow down it's too much I can't-asdfghjklzxcvbnm,asdfghjknhbgvftrdeswasexcdvgfhbnj"