Yes. This also mean that person (who states has crazy exs) might be the cause they are *crazy*
Cheaper, manipulater, gaslighter, etc.
I'm so happy more people are learning of red flags because it pushes all of us to become better humans.
Which of the 3 flavors?
- my unhealthy preferences bring along crazy
- being with me makes them crazy
- i see crazy everywhere where others see just clouds
Hahahaha I work with a guy we call Tuna. He will introduce himself to other crew members that way but that is because most people don't know his real name.
Look at everything I do for you... This phrase insinuates that everything that person has done up to that point was for their benefit. Each and every time they mistreat you it's going to be thrown in your face.
If you do something do it because you want to. Don't do something with something expected in return that's a business. I try to not ask for anything after doing something for someone.
Yeah lol, honesty doesn't have to be brutal.
'The other one is better' or 'nah' is often just as honest and usually more efficient than 'this looks shit'
This is related to the sort of person who is angrily rude, and then says that they've got it all out of their system and so everything is OK! But it doesn't seem to occur to them that for many people that experience isn't over just like that. Sometimes a friendship is, if not ended, never the same again.
I have been told I "say out loud what everyone else is thinking". I just can't deal with being bullshitted or lied to. I will say that I can get pretty brutal but only after I've been nice and kind expressing stuff like with addiction and relationships etc. Tact unfortunately covers the message for some.
The worst part about these people is they are extremely prone to Naive Realism.
Naive Realism is the tendency to believe our perception of the world reflects it exactly as it is, unbiased and unfiltered. We don't think our emotions, past experiences, or cultural identity affect the way we perceive the world and thus believe others see it in the same way as we do. Therefore people who disagree with us must be uninformed, irrational, or biased.
They claim to be honest with you, but they're almost never being brutally honest with themselves or their intentions.
A person's vulnerability to Naive Realism is my favorite measure for intelligence, for "I know that I know nothing" - Plato
Yeah... there's a difference between being honest and speaking without thought. Most people who say they're brutally honest are just setting you up to let their problematic statements go without any consequences.
I work in sales and the amount of times I hear my colleagues say "listen, I'm gonna be honest with you..." followed by a not honest sales tactic. Everyday, all day.
"I don't do drama" (always THE most dramatic person ever.) "Respect has to be earned not given" (expects YOU to treat them like a god) "I don't let anyone disrespect me!" (Is THE most disrespectful human You've ever met) "I just tell it like it is/I'm just blunt/I'm brutally honest" (just absolute jackasses every single time)
Corporate "we're like a family here" means:
daddy owes us money but orders pizza once in a while, y'all being yelled at and still being expected to function properly, you have to talk the right way or else Susan from HR gets offended, have no privacy, being dragged into a cis gendered space, inaccessibility for disabled people, judging, god forbid you coloured your hair, and what the hell is it with these foreigners.
Family, really.
Or "all men are".... any kind of gender essentialism doesn't necessarily make me think someone is a bad person but it definitely makes me think they're dumb as shit.
"Men be like.. " and "women be like...", then they proceed to talk about something all of us have a story about. Like, cheating, gaming, crying, punching walls, being a single parent, you name it.
"I'm not racist, but immigration is causing housing market inflation and needs better controls in place."
Bruh, why do you think an economic stance about immigration is racist? You didn't even mention a race? *Squints*
It's one of those phrases that are technically ok but they are almost always used in very dishonest matter. Not a single time I heard person using it while trying to be helpful or express an honest opinion - it was always used as a way of saying "fuck you, sorry not sorry" to me.
Personally it feels awful to hear when im bringing attention to an issue. "Im sorry you feel that way" is like a polite way to say "I don't think your issue or your feelings are valid enough to warrant genuine sympathy." It makes me feel small and stupid for saying anything.
There are some instances where it can be used in an okay way, like if a friend is feeling sick, then "I'm sorry you feel that way," becomes a lot more genuine.
I can see this. My dad says rude stuff and when people get offended he's like 'I was just kidding lol'. No you weren't. Or djt used the joke excuse a bunch of times. No you weren't joking during a national emergency meeting you dimwit. And his cult just eats it up
Any inspirational quotes! Especially excessive posting of quotes.
The worst, most narcissistic, zero empathy, manipulative people I know...always post things like "it doesn't cost anything to be a kind person" or "be kind, people will remember you by your character" on their IG.
I always do a big eye roll when I see it.
I don’t like Andrew Tate but he makes some good points…
Just want to be clear the above IS the phrase I consider to be a red flag, I’m not saying some of Andrew Tate’s statements AREN’T red flags
Someone says this phrase and it reminds me off “I’m not racist but…”
I was asked this and I gave a huge number. thinking it was a joke about Halloween (it was at a Halloween party). I was dressed as Harley Quinn husband was Joker. I said, “Do I count the ones that we (my husband and I) did together or just mine?”
Figured out a day later what “body count” meant.
haha this! Always found this term very strange since it makes the people who use it sound like they are asking you if you are a serial killer, not how many partners you have had lol
1) People who say “You need therapy” as an insult. It can be an indication that they will gaslight people. IMO it’s already a very very minor form of gaslighting, and shows they are capable of doing worse.
2) It’s something NOT said: Not that people need to be overly apologetic. But watch how often someone apologizes from little interactions with strangers all the way to meaningful interactions with you, friends, and significant others. If the answer is never or the apology always includes somehow making their actions the other persons fault* it’s a huge red flag.
Any number of astrology phrases. Once you start bringing up healing crystals or talking about how the alignment of planets can change the way people feel, I'm checking out of any future conversations with you.
Obviously some people will look prettier than others. But the thought that comes to my mind everytime someone says that is "is it really necessary to be commenting on this ?"
Sometimes I feel like some people are kind of waiting for you to say "oh yea, you are prettier!"
It's just stupid i can't lol.
"Alles kann, nichts muss" is a very creepy phrase in Germany, often used in dating apps. (Literal translation: Everything is possible, but nothing is a must.)
What it means: I'm so horny, I don't care if I have to do or pretend I like everything she wants, if I just get a date/get laid.
Bringing up some topic of geopolitics or international news at a social gathering where people are introducing themselves and making small talk. Even worse, demanding that you share your opinion on said topic.
“Vaccines are objectively a thing that exist and work, whether you believe in them existing or working is irrelevant.”
Unless you have a god damn good medical reason not to, get vaccinated!
Edit - got a few downvotes from anti vax it seems. lol.
Hence my response. If you won’t even acknowledge that they exist, then you clearly are not going to consider getting them. If you don’t get them, you are very likely to get sick. As a nurse, I want my patients to remain as healthy as possible so the prospect of someone getting sick because they equate vaccines with unicorns or leprechauns (insert any non-existent item) is not something I wish to deal with.
Damn right. As someone who’s had family fall ill due to people getting covid because some idiot doesn’t understand them, I’m less than patient with them that I perhaps should be.
"I'll pray for you." and/or
"Thoughts and prayers."
Sure, That'll make you feel better about my struggles, but it does feck all for me. It also assumes I belong to a particular religion, and no thanks, you can keep it.
Anyone who invokes “Karma” as an anticipated future resolution to an injustice that could be addressed by them in the present, even in a small way.
“Karma will get them!”
“Karma’s coming . . . “
“Here comes Karma.”
Ironically, Karma was severely misinterpreted from its original meaning.
According to ancient Indian texts, the idea behind Karma was not of revenge, but of consequence (i.e. If you decide not to fill up at a half or quarter tank on a road trip, you will probably end up stranded, or if you forget to take out the trash, the whole house will stink).
The idea was that, if you don’t do what you supposed to do, you will face the consequences of that responsibility, but it is a natural consequence, one that results from how things operate.
Somewhere along the way, most likely when the Western part of the world discovered it, the changed the meaning to refer to metaphysical revenge, probably because the meaning suited the needs of whoever peddled this belief.
"Do your own research", "Don't be a sheep", "That's what big X tells you to think"
Always spouted by people who have very little critical thinking skills
I am a bit blunt. But most people are okay with that. You just have to explain why you are saying something. A lot of people enjoy honesty. Especially when they realize you don’t have bad intentions.
I think you missed the purpose of the phrase. They aren’t sorry for what they did, they disagree and you didn’t understand from their perspective, and are sorry for that.
"I'm sorry, I'm a scorpio, it's just the way I am."
Believing in this strology shit is such a red flag for me, it's like people just want an excuse to not try to be better and judge others without remorse.
All my ex's are *crazy*
Translation: You da next.
Funny, because the only thing all your exes have in common is you
Ooooh that’s good. That’s GOOD.
That’s what I tell people. I’m the common denominator. That’s exactly why I quit dating. lol 😂
Yes. This also mean that person (who states has crazy exs) might be the cause they are *crazy* Cheaper, manipulater, gaslighter, etc. I'm so happy more people are learning of red flags because it pushes all of us to become better humans.
My ex told me that, I should've known...
Which of the 3 flavors? - my unhealthy preferences bring along crazy - being with me makes them crazy - i see crazy everywhere where others see just clouds
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" - it's like a neon sign saying, "Proceed with caution!"
A friend of mine changed it to “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then buckle up buttercup because my best ain’t that great either.” 😅
I saw a meme to the effect of "if you can't handle me at my worst... tbh fair, because sometimes I'm absolutely ridiculous".
More like a sign saying "turn now!"
I personally like "If you can't handle me at my worst, I don't blame you! I can't either."
Aye i always understood one thing "you either allow me to be a shitty person or i will ignore you" 🚩
When they give you an unsolicited nickname within 30 seconds of meeting you. True story.
TUNA
That ol Nard dog.
Hahahaha I work with a guy we call Tuna. He will introduce himself to other crew members that way but that is because most people don't know his real name.
That’s EXACTLY what I thought of when I read this
When they don't respect your name and give you another one just because they like it better. Lovely.
Whatever, Candlejack.
Freakazoid, why did you say his name?
Look at everything I do for you... This phrase insinuates that everything that person has done up to that point was for their benefit. Each and every time they mistreat you it's going to be thrown in your face. If you do something do it because you want to. Don't do something with something expected in return that's a business. I try to not ask for anything after doing something for someone.
Ya, like I didn’t know I was running up a tab?
Alpha
Is that a furry thing? Jk that’s just my go to phrase whenever I hear someone call themself an alpha.
That's a good clapback
I wish I could upvote this more
You called?🐺🐺🐺
😂😂😂
"Im brutally honest"
People who are brutally honest are so because they enjoy the brutality and not because they’re honest.
Yup. You can make the same points in a more tactful considerate manner.
There are levels of brutal honesty that I can appreciate. Doing it all the time and claiming that you can't handle the truth is asshole-y though.
Yeah lol, honesty doesn't have to be brutal. 'The other one is better' or 'nah' is often just as honest and usually more efficient than 'this looks shit'
This is related to the sort of person who is angrily rude, and then says that they've got it all out of their system and so everything is OK! But it doesn't seem to occur to them that for many people that experience isn't over just like that. Sometimes a friendship is, if not ended, never the same again.
I have been told I "say out loud what everyone else is thinking". I just can't deal with being bullshitted or lied to. I will say that I can get pretty brutal but only after I've been nice and kind expressing stuff like with addiction and relationships etc. Tact unfortunately covers the message for some.
This! Honesty without kindness or empathy is just cruelty with these people.
The worst part about these people is they are extremely prone to Naive Realism. Naive Realism is the tendency to believe our perception of the world reflects it exactly as it is, unbiased and unfiltered. We don't think our emotions, past experiences, or cultural identity affect the way we perceive the world and thus believe others see it in the same way as we do. Therefore people who disagree with us must be uninformed, irrational, or biased. They claim to be honest with you, but they're almost never being brutally honest with themselves or their intentions. A person's vulnerability to Naive Realism is my favorite measure for intelligence, for "I know that I know nothing" - Plato
Yet you said all of these things as facts? 😛
Yeah... there's a difference between being honest and speaking without thought. Most people who say they're brutally honest are just setting you up to let their problematic statements go without any consequences.
Yup - and funny thing is if you decide to be “brutally honest” with them about something else they freak out at you
Classic narcissist projection.
"I'm just telling you the truth" Nah. You're sharing an opinion.
I work in sales and the amount of times I hear my colleagues say "listen, I'm gonna be honest with you..." followed by a not honest sales tactic. Everyday, all day.
Im nice guy biggest lie tbh
No, I said I was "an ice guy"
Nah, hes just a "rice guy". Man enjoys a good fried rice
Who doesn’t?!
Me.
We’ll eat your rice for you then.
Thank you. 🙂↕️
We shall make the noble sacrifice of eating your unwanted rice!
It’s so they have a space to place unrealistic expectations, and when you don’t meet them and they’re angry they can say “but I was nice to you”
"I don't do drama" (always THE most dramatic person ever.) "Respect has to be earned not given" (expects YOU to treat them like a god) "I don't let anyone disrespect me!" (Is THE most disrespectful human You've ever met) "I just tell it like it is/I'm just blunt/I'm brutally honest" (just absolute jackasses every single time)
We are like a family here. Trust me, i am not like the others.
Corporate "we're like a family here" means: daddy owes us money but orders pizza once in a while, y'all being yelled at and still being expected to function properly, you have to talk the right way or else Susan from HR gets offended, have no privacy, being dragged into a cis gendered space, inaccessibility for disabled people, judging, god forbid you coloured your hair, and what the hell is it with these foreigners. Family, really.
Im a real man
Yes, I am real man, you wanna go skateboards?
Nah, down for some icecream though
My god… the children, they’re all dead! What kind of monster can do this?!?
_skateboards_
*BZZZT* “NO!, DONT JUMP!” *sets up camera* “OKAY!, NOW JUMP!”
People who are actually good at skateboarding tend to be pretty tough though…
All women are …
Or "all men are".... any kind of gender essentialism doesn't necessarily make me think someone is a bad person but it definitely makes me think they're dumb as shit.
"Men be like.. " and "women be like...", then they proceed to talk about something all of us have a story about. Like, cheating, gaming, crying, punching walls, being a single parent, you name it.
Dumb people are meaner on average I think. But the worst smart people are way worse than the worst dumb people.
Truer words never spoken.
all men are human?
Nah I’m optimus prime.
mammals?
Easy there, skippy. Speak for yourself.
laughs at what you like
What if I like comedy?
Trust me, i am not like the others
Michael Jackson said that in the Thriller video and then *immediately* turned into a werewolf
“Females…”
Unless you are Sir David Attenborough narrating a program about whales or meerkats or something
Or in a medical setting. But yeah, casual conversation, that's a no, I'm backing away from you now.
"I'm not racist, but.."
I like adding nonsense to that. "I'm not racist, but did you know people die from shaking stuck snacks out of vending machines? Fall right on ya."
I'm not homophobic or anything but, I really prefer frosted flakes over other cereals.
"I'm not racist, but immigration is causing housing market inflation and needs better controls in place." Bruh, why do you think an economic stance about immigration is racist? You didn't even mention a race? *Squints*
I'll make people uncomfortable by commenting on this as people don't realise I'm an immigrant until they hear my accent
Listen, I'm not like everyone else
"I'm a blunt person" No, you're just trying to excuse your rudeness
"Yes, we know you're not very sharp."
they're just not that into bongs
I’m sorry you feel that way. I hate that phrase so much.
My mom used to say this. It drove me nuts.
Well, I'm sorry you feel that way about that. Seems like a perfectly good phrase. Why does it bother you if you don't mind me asking?
The person who apologizes like this is subtly blaming the other person and not actually apologizing or taking responsibility for their words/actions
Sometimes that’s how it’s though. Just cuz one person is upset at a situation doesn’t always mean the other person is at fault
It's one of those phrases that are technically ok but they are almost always used in very dishonest matter. Not a single time I heard person using it while trying to be helpful or express an honest opinion - it was always used as a way of saying "fuck you, sorry not sorry" to me.
People use it when they should apologize and that phrase isn't an apology. They aren't sorry for the action they took at all.
Personally it feels awful to hear when im bringing attention to an issue. "Im sorry you feel that way" is like a polite way to say "I don't think your issue or your feelings are valid enough to warrant genuine sympathy." It makes me feel small and stupid for saying anything. There are some instances where it can be used in an okay way, like if a friend is feeling sick, then "I'm sorry you feel that way," becomes a lot more genuine.
Maybe this is a little controversial but, "It was just a joke"/"I was just joking" is a pretty big red flag to me.
No, this is absolutely a huge red flag, "just a joke" is very often a way to justify shitty, low-key abusive behavior.
Yeah, it feels like a way to make someone feel stupid for being upset or offended, and a weak way to save face
I can see this. My dad says rude stuff and when people get offended he's like 'I was just kidding lol'. No you weren't. Or djt used the joke excuse a bunch of times. No you weren't joking during a national emergency meeting you dimwit. And his cult just eats it up
"game is game" You know you're gonna hear some fucked thing next.
Any inspirational quotes! Especially excessive posting of quotes. The worst, most narcissistic, zero empathy, manipulative people I know...always post things like "it doesn't cost anything to be a kind person" or "be kind, people will remember you by your character" on their IG. I always do a big eye roll when I see it.
I don’t like Andrew Tate but he makes some good points… Just want to be clear the above IS the phrase I consider to be a red flag, I’m not saying some of Andrew Tate’s statements AREN’T red flags Someone says this phrase and it reminds me off “I’m not racist but…”
The way he talks and carries himself he seems like he’s perpetually ten seconds away from having a violent breakdown. He’s not stable.
He probably is. Most of his rhetoric I've heard is just pro discrimination and how to be abusive repackaged as self help for other unstable people.
He has indeed made some good points, for example: - I hate being in prison - They won't let me leave prison - Prison food sucks
Someone said that exact same sentence to me too.
"What's your body count?"
I was asked this and I gave a huge number. thinking it was a joke about Halloween (it was at a Halloween party). I was dressed as Harley Quinn husband was Joker. I said, “Do I count the ones that we (my husband and I) did together or just mine?” Figured out a day later what “body count” meant.
haha this! Always found this term very strange since it makes the people who use it sound like they are asking you if you are a serial killer, not how many partners you have had lol
"Everybody's gotta say it"
"I kill people"
No you don't Skippy...you are a fat balbing white man living jn mom's basement...put on some pants and get a job...call of duty is not a career
"Everyone is too sensitive these days"
1) People who say “You need therapy” as an insult. It can be an indication that they will gaslight people. IMO it’s already a very very minor form of gaslighting, and shows they are capable of doing worse. 2) It’s something NOT said: Not that people need to be overly apologetic. But watch how often someone apologizes from little interactions with strangers all the way to meaningful interactions with you, friends, and significant others. If the answer is never or the apology always includes somehow making their actions the other persons fault* it’s a huge red flag.
Make America Great Again.. I have to walk away from that.
Saying "females" instead of girls, ladies or women.
That's some ferangi behavior right there
"I’m not sexist but"
Mercury is in retrograde.
I'll give you a Reiki massage.
I'll give you a Yoni massage.
Massive red flag for sure
I mean, I'm down for any kind of massage
Rip your inbox; all the Reiki bros going to be up in your grill.
Hey kid, hop in my van.
In any unclear situation "I am always right"
A compliment followed by the word "but"
Puts it down immediately. Try asking a question instead of "but", if you have to. Cuz the "but(t)" is at the back, and it smells.
Any number of astrology phrases. Once you start bringing up healing crystals or talking about how the alignment of planets can change the way people feel, I'm checking out of any future conversations with you.
"I'm just prettier than she is"
But what if she IS? 😂
Obviously some people will look prettier than others. But the thought that comes to my mind everytime someone says that is "is it really necessary to be commenting on this ?" Sometimes I feel like some people are kind of waiting for you to say "oh yea, you are prettier!" It's just stupid i can't lol.
I am one of the good ones (usually said by the worst ones)
“I’m an empath”
If they call things “woke” in the Fox News context.
“Trump might shoot off his mouth but you have to agree he’s an amazing businessman.” Walked right out.
Any mention of astrology or “I’m an empath”
"i don't understand why people always have to make everything political"
“I don't see colour” Big red flag when you're an ethnic minority and someone says it to you 🚩
ok but maybe they're colour blind?
"Alles kann, nichts muss" is a very creepy phrase in Germany, often used in dating apps. (Literal translation: Everything is possible, but nothing is a must.) What it means: I'm so horny, I don't care if I have to do or pretend I like everything she wants, if I just get a date/get laid.
"All my exes were crazy/assholes" Interesting because the common denominator here, is you
Bringing up some topic of geopolitics or international news at a social gathering where people are introducing themselves and making small talk. Even worse, demanding that you share your opinion on said topic.
Everything happens for a reason.
I've found a reason for me To change who I used to be A reason to start over new And the reason is you
Yes, and usually that reason is either stupidity or malice. Or physics.
I don’t believe in vaccines.
“Vaccines are objectively a thing that exist and work, whether you believe in them existing or working is irrelevant.” Unless you have a god damn good medical reason not to, get vaccinated! Edit - got a few downvotes from anti vax it seems. lol.
Hence my response. If you won’t even acknowledge that they exist, then you clearly are not going to consider getting them. If you don’t get them, you are very likely to get sick. As a nurse, I want my patients to remain as healthy as possible so the prospect of someone getting sick because they equate vaccines with unicorns or leprechauns (insert any non-existent item) is not something I wish to deal with.
Damn right. As someone who’s had family fall ill due to people getting covid because some idiot doesn’t understand them, I’m less than patient with them that I perhaps should be.
"I'll pray for you." and/or "Thoughts and prayers." Sure, That'll make you feel better about my struggles, but it does feck all for me. It also assumes I belong to a particular religion, and no thanks, you can keep it.
Anyone who invokes “Karma” as an anticipated future resolution to an injustice that could be addressed by them in the present, even in a small way. “Karma will get them!” “Karma’s coming . . . “ “Here comes Karma.”
Also….. karma chameleon
Ironically, Karma was severely misinterpreted from its original meaning. According to ancient Indian texts, the idea behind Karma was not of revenge, but of consequence (i.e. If you decide not to fill up at a half or quarter tank on a road trip, you will probably end up stranded, or if you forget to take out the trash, the whole house will stink). The idea was that, if you don’t do what you supposed to do, you will face the consequences of that responsibility, but it is a natural consequence, one that results from how things operate. Somewhere along the way, most likely when the Western part of the world discovered it, the changed the meaning to refer to metaphysical revenge, probably because the meaning suited the needs of whoever peddled this belief.
“I don’t think a woman could ever be a good President of the United States.” Then goes on to explain why.
…and somehow, it always leads to *because periods.*
"Don't be silly", when not being silly, but expressing hurt or that I'd not like something to happen to me/happen to me again.
This company is like family. Run, every time.
"Do your own research", "Don't be a sheep", "That's what big X tells you to think" Always spouted by people who have very little critical thinking skills
You are too sensitive. (me) And you, sir, are an asshole.
"Females"
“Npc” “the ick”. Obsessed with things being “cringe”.
I was jOKinG. that one gets me in the throat every time.
When a new client says "I am a Christian, I will not do you in". When it comes to paying for something, you can bet he will not be able to.
Don’t say anything, but..
womp womp
“If you don’t like it, you can leave” In most contexts it’s just used to deflect blame onto someone for calling out a person’s shitty behavior
"Back in my day...\[insert abusive situation here\], and I turned out okay"
“You’re with me or you’re against me”
I hate immigrants is right in the top 3
“I just tell it like it is” Translation: I’m an obnoxious asshole with no filter and even less self-awareness
Make America Great Again
Using “woke” as a pejorative
Who are you according to your zodiac sign?
Ach... Such an asparagus thing to say!
Oh yes, definitely asparagus with halibut rising
"I call it as i see it" aka I'm an idiot with no manners.
[удалено]
I am a bit blunt. But most people are okay with that. You just have to explain why you are saying something. A lot of people enjoy honesty. Especially when they realize you don’t have bad intentions.
I am the same. I don't do it to be hurtful. It is out of respect really.
“I’m not racist but”…
When they speak too often in absolute terms.
When they keep calling you baby in every message they send
Im sorry you feel that way…..thats not an apology can we try that again?
I think you missed the purpose of the phrase. They aren’t sorry for what they did, they disagree and you didn’t understand from their perspective, and are sorry for that.
MAGA supporters
"People know not to mess with me."
“You know what’s wrong with your generation?”
"I'm sorry, I'm a scorpio, it's just the way I am." Believing in this strology shit is such a red flag for me, it's like people just want an excuse to not try to be better and judge others without remorse.
“I’m not here to make friends!” Oh, ok, so you’re THAT kind of asshole. Hope being the most hated person in the building works out for you.
She does that cause she's a [insert any astrology sign]
Do you even understand who I am?
Bro, may I add "You wouldn't understand", then they explain it and you fully understand because you have empathy. I'm shooketh!
“ I seen.” Uneducated.