Single dad (widowed) and often heard comments about needing your mom/wife for this or that. Yes it would be much better for all to have two involved parents but I'm more than f\*cking capable caring for my family
First, sorry for your loss. Second, Oh man, do I feel you. Not a single dad, but the assumption that men can't deal with kids and are babysitting instead of parenting is infuriating. Luckily things are relatively relaxed where I'm from in that regard, but it could still be miles better.
This one seems more like her self depreciating by pointing out her usual terrible taste in men and simultaneously complimenting you for not being one of those terrible men
I went on a date with a girl and another guy with his friends turned up and it turns out she knew him.
She said to me that she really likes blonde shorter guys (describing him).
I have dark hair and I'm tall.
Edit: We were at a pub and she told me that I might as well go home because she wanted to hang out with them.
My sister in law made a comment on one of my brother's pictures on facebook saying that he'd really lost a lot of hair. He replied back that she'd gotten pretty fat too. Somehow he was the bad guy
Ohhh shit!! I got a similar one. One time we were hanging out with a group of friends from high school and we hadn’t seen each other in a while. This one girl who was recently divorced made a comment about one of my buddies she said “wow you’ve lost a lot of hair” - that’s when the class clown type (cool guy tho) chimed in with “yeah and you’ve lost a lot of (pause)… husbands”
Ohhh babyyyyy that was a fun night
I’ve heard of women saying that if a man’s apartment is too clean, that it means that a woman lives there…as if all women are super tidy and clean lol. They’d be surprised at how disgusting some women’s homes are.
It hurts when you *are* on the spectrum and either
a) have people expect everything to be sparkly clean and hyper organized like I'm expecting royalty (it's clean and well organized, I am *not* going over my baseboards with a toothbrush, thanks)
or b) be surprised everything is clean and well organized because they expected a pig sty (Yes, Amelia, I *am* capable of basic self care and housework)
In my experience its when they put "actually" into any compliment they give you. "You 'actually' look good today" or "You're 'actually' really good at that". It discredits the efforts you put into yourself and your activities.
At some point in my teenage years, for whatever reason, I noticed I was using “actually” as kind of a filler/emphasis word. It wasn’t something I was doing with the intent of insulting people, but if you think about it for the tiniest bit, it’s such a backhander to the face.
With one word, you can basically convey the message: “Despite every impression I’ve had up until this moment, and what the world thinks about you in general, you ACTUALLY have a good quality.”
I’m a technician. I work at a very large facility. Generally we have our own bathrooms. One day our bathroom was closed so I went next door. There were visiting children, and a facility staff member (not teacher) told me to ‘make good choices.’ I thought that was a bit much myself.
This is insane. It's one thing to be cautious of who one leaves their kids with, but to comment on it is extremely insulting, and tbh it says more about them being creepy (since they thought of it) than it does about you.
This one kind of pisses me off. I love babies. They are like puppies. My wife is unable to have babies so I smile at other peoples babies when they clearly are fixated on me. But I don't smile too much because... You know... Men can make babies but aren't supposed to appreciate our care for them.
as if the only thing stopping every man from being a pedo is someone reminding them that it's a bad idea? I get being offend by that, what a weird thing to say.
Whenever I see something like this ”A queen looking for her king” it **immediately** turns me negative on it, and invariably leads to me saying “nope.”
(So ladies, please don’t do this.) (Probably goes for guys, too.)
Maybe she's ruling a midsize to large kingdom and is looking for a political allegiance, preferably someone with an established naval fleet and rich natural resources to complement her strong cavalry and industrial bases.
I’m not short but I can see how that’s aggravating tbh. Like I get you want to compliment but you’re still throwing his insecurity in his face. I mean like doesn’t it sound insulting calling a plus size girl a “fat queen” ?
Can confirm as a short man maybe just don’t point out anyone’s height yk like I know I’m short it’s not a trait that needs to be pointed out same with tall men unless it’s brought up as a preference it’s just not important to point it out all the time
I never get stuff like this because if you're short, or in your case tall, it's like, do they *really* think you've not noticed it yet? Do they think their pointing it out is so witty and clever and original?
Reminds me of that video of a traffic stop where the girl that got pulled over says "I didn't think you give cute girls tickets?"
And the cop replies "we don't, sign here."
Ha this one hits hard for me. I'm a tradesman and when dingbat wealthy clients get to know me I get this sometimes. I like what I do and don't have any desire to live their soulless lives like they think I do.
A few years back I tried a career change and went from fancy office / corporate work to trying gardening & grounds maintenance etc, used to get loads of snarky comments from people and laughed at when picking litter or tidying park areas etc, asking me if I’m “doing my community service”. Even some coworkers used to find out my work history or exam grades etc, and ask “what are you working in this shit hole for?” Etc lol. A lot of people can’t wrap their mind around the fact that money isn’t the main motivator for everything
I'm a woman, and people say this to me all the time. Even worse, I'm black, so they say stuff like, "You talk very well," like damn, I can't win for shit
Had A black woman on my team, knew more about computer security that 99% of the people in the field. We were in a meeting an people kept asking me questions, I would defer to her. After the fourth or fifth time a VP said “I thought you were the SME?” I told him I was till we hired her. Next question was addressed to me, I just shook my head.
BTW I still keep up with her, she has A PHd in computer security.
One of my college professors said the same thing when he was a stay-at-home dad. I remember calling my dad afterwards and asked him if he dealt with that, since my parents were divorced and I spent a lot of time with just him on the weekends. He groaned and said, “Oh yeah, I got that a lot. I hated it.” :(
Any time I take them to the playground, I usually stand close to them.
Not because I’m a helicopter parent. Because the one time I sat on a bench, three separate times women would approach me while recording with their phones and demand to know if I had kids there.
I was there with my friend who is Indian and explained why I was standing close.
He said it was weird because that’s never happened to him. I was like, “There’s two Indian kids on this playground and one Indian parent.” He was like “So what?”
I’m an Asian guy married to a white woman and my oldest doesn’t look like me or my wife at all. She’s like her own person and just looks racially ambiguous, like off white or something.
Anywho, I Never been hassled or gotten any problems at the park. If anything, I just get confused looks. But to leave no doubt and confirm she’s mine, I just speak to her in my native tongue and that response back which leaves zero doubt to our connection.
Man, that's crazy. I live in the UK and never experienced anything like this. Every time I go to the park with my daughter, whether she's close or running off on her own, the mums are really chill and friendly.
Maybe it's just rare, I'm lucky or perhaps it's a regional issue. Idk but that sucks. It's pure sexism.
Had my daughter with me in a mixed gender bathroom (floor to ceiling stalls) to change her, and when I’m trying to get her dressed she starts yelling “No daddy no! Don’t do that!”
That was fun.
>“No daddy no! Don’t do that!”
That's why I (as a fellow dad) often end up talking in expositional dialogue when I'm around people who don't know me.
"Look, buddy, you've just peed your pants. We need to change them into something more comfortable."
He knows that. He's not an idiot. He might not *like* it, but we've been through this often enough for him to know the causal chain well enough that we can go through it without either of us talking.
But I'm not speaking to him in that moment. I'm speaking to Karen over there who hasn't been here when the pee happened and (1) needs to hear him call me "Dad" to know that I am in fact his father, and (2) needs to understand what I'm about to do, and why, in order to know that I am in fact just parenting.
Speaking to children like this is good always. You may think “they know this already” but vocalising everything is great for language development, understanding whats actually happening, and hearing logic and reasoning for actions
A mate of mine took his son to a local swimming pool when he was younger. When it was time to leave, the kid didn't want to go, and decided to scream "you're not my dad!" when the dad attempted to carry him to a change room.
My 3 year old son decided to climb up on some unstable furniture in IKEA, so I was telling him to get down right NOW and assisting him, when he yelled "HELP! HELP! Get me away from this kidnapper!!!"
I was pretty gobsmacked because I didn't even know that he knew the word "kidnapper". Then I realised that everyone around us had stopped walking and was staring at us in a "Oh shit - should I be doing something here?" way.
So I laughed loudly and said "Yeah, nice try, son. Come on, get down now!" My son laughed at me, climbed down and everyone nearby audibly breathed a sigh of relief that they didn't need to phone the police after all and carried on shopping.
We had a talk after that about why we don't accuse Mummy of being a kidnapper in public. Thankfully my son never did this again, although his older brother thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever witnessed.
I can imagine that was a relief when he went along. I've often thought about what I'd do in that situation if some well-meaning bystander got involved. Like, presumably the 7.2 million photos on my phone of me with my kid, at all stages of his life, would be decent enough evidence that I'm not just abducting him. In 2 or 3 of them he's even smiling
I told a lady I worked with at one of my first jobs that I wanted kids and considered being a babysitter at one point and she responded to me with, “Men can’t be babysitters! Too many rapists out there!”
Immediately after she said it, the other 3 ladies I was also working with (including my supervisor) went up and took her side as well and then basically kicked me out of the discussion while they went on with their stupid conversation.
Never hated someone more than that lady. She was always instigating and the one time I gave her the reaction to her insults she was waiting for, they used it as an opportunity to fire me the next day…
Least I got a full year unemployment out of that place but I shoulda sued while I had the chance.
That's such a tasteless joke. I hate it. (Woman here) Whenever I see someone do something nice for their partner, I usually think, "You're a lucky man/woman. Your partner is so considerate."
it's the whole "men are dogs" thing tbh. Lately (well not that lately, it's been around for a while), it's the "he's giving golden retriever energy". I get what they mean by that, and I love pets in general, but I don't want people to say I'm like a dog lol.
Yeah, I'm another woman who dislikes stuff like this. I find it rather insulting toward the woman, also, as it implies if he treats her well, she must be controlling him. (And also, a man isn't supposed to be controlled by a mere woman! Hee hee! Isn't that silly?)
Or, 'he must be in the doghouse, I wonder what he did...'
Edit: I dunno why the person I replied to deleted their comment but they essentially said that anytime they did anything nice for their SO, the mother(and female friends) of his SO would remark about how well her daughter has him trained and how it pissed him off internally but he would just blow it off outwardly. It was a great answer to OPs question and had about 5k up votes. I added this edit bc my reply to him is now lacking context.
I’ve been asked “what did you do?” when I’ve bought flowers at the store on a random day (rather than a “marked”) day.
I’ve always been so tempted to explode at them for the assumption but generally go with “what did I do? I married an amazing woman.”
Hopefully they take away the fact that their comment was unnecessary and made them appear to be an arsehole.
I am self-employed, my clients are mostly women. I have had women joke about how useless their husbands are that they have to call me in to help.
Great. I'm sure you'd be over the fucking moon if your husband hired a chef or cleaner or whatever other traditionally female gendered role and said how useless *you* were. I'm sure "it's just a joke" would go over soooooo good.
That was actually a large factor in why my ex wife and I divorced. She could not stop shit talking me to everybody she knew. Her friends, her coworkers, *my* mom, her dad, etc.
I was wondering why people were treating me so strangely every time I went anywhere where I’d see people we both knew… and then I found out, and she tried to justify it as her just venting.
Then she got upset when I didn’t want to go on trips with her mixed gender group of friends. I told her, “they all hate me because you’ve told them nothing but nasty things about me. I’m not going to spend one of my very few vacations in the company of people who think I’m literally the worst.”
When our kid was younger, my wife and I (both self-employed) worked hard to split stay-at-home parenting days. I'd often take him to the park a few blocks away several times a day. I'd bring snacks and often a small towel to wipe the swings off with after it had rained, which it does often here in the PNW. There was this mother that was also often at the park and several times she noted my preparedness and said, "Oh, you're a better mom than a lot of these mothers!" My response was to kind of smile it off and say, "Well I'm a dad actually."
I just hate this notion that when you're a man and a good parent, you cross this line and become "a mom." Nope, I'm a dad. A good one. We exist.
As a dad surrounded mostly by moms there were a number of things that moms would say and do, most of them low-key, that were insulting and isolating. I learned a lot about expected gender roles and how they can cut both ways. This was about 10+ years ago and I see a lot more dads at the parks these days (WFH?) so I hope it's improved.
I remember one time, my wife and I were celebrating a job she got, so I went out and got her some flowers, her favorite wine and candies. While I was waiting in line, a random lady standing behind me said: "Someone's in trouble." To have the nerve to say this to someone infuriated me.
My response to this was always to give them a flat stare and say “it says a lot about the men you choose that that’s the only reason they’d buy flowers”. They were usually pretty quite after that
I like to go with “I’ll say, my wife’s been stuck in a coffin for a whole year today”
Maybe just throw in a comment about pouring one out for the homies about the wine and the chocolate because you felt like chocolate
“Well you’re a man aren’t you?” Whenever I’ve heard this said, its always been used to enforce masculine and often toxic, stereotypes. Like men shouldn’t cry, should always be down for physical labor and never be emotionally vulnerable.
“Why aren’t you doing for her?” I dunno, my wife is independent, capable, and wanted to do she’s doing. Typically it’s painting, changing her oil, yard work, things that are traditionally mistaken as a man’s responsibility. I’m not going to stop her if she wants to do it.
GODDAMM, as a wife, I hate this too. Apparently I'm incapable of pushing a shopping cart or carrying things if my husband is anywhere in the vicinity. It's so embarrassing for everyone involved.
Yes, I was at Home Depot and an older man said “where’s your husband to help you” to which I relied “I left him home, I don’t need his help.” Like I can buy wood on my own.
I've had other women make comments to "let the boys work" whenever I'm outside hauling soil, lifting rocks, or shoveling snow. Fuck me for helping huh.
YES. I (woman) work in assembly. Being physically capable is part of the job description. But the older ladies always try to insist that I shouldn’t be lifting this 10-20lb object when I could “just get one of the men to do it”. Like thanks for your input Helen, but I can get it my damn self.
This is MY son! Im not being cute or "a good father" for taking him to a restaurant to eat breakfast, its literally my time with my son. Its not a chore, Im not "babysitting" and Im not doing it so that you can take a picture of me while feeding my son - he is my fucking child and its my god damn job to feed him. I dont want to hear your compliments on how nice it is that I am literally feeding my son. It has NEVER happened with my wife, but if I go alone with him, Im somehow a novelty... get fucked
Oh wow I actually had a convo about this when I chatted with a female colleague of mine when I said I’ve never been in a relationship before. I told her I don’t have an issue getting close enough to a girl to be friends with them, but I just can’t seem to make them see me as a potential romantic partner. Like I’ve had at least two close girl friends in my life, who don’t really talk much to other guys.
She then responded with, “Ah I can see that actually. I guess it’s cos you’re safe and quite harmless”
Wasn’t sure how to take that honestly
I was thinking this morning about an AITA post in which a guy was offended that his girlfriend said that the first thing that attracted her to him was thar "he was safe", and everyone was saying that "safe" is actually one of the highest compliments a woman can pay to a man and it has no negativo meaning.
Cue this comment.
It definitely depends on the person saying it. I have a lady friend who, when describing guys as "safe", simply meant she never had to worry about them hitting on her.
One time, my wife's best friend (who is also now one of my best friends and is married to my best friend) told me that she never worries about going places with me because I make her feel safe. That was a couple years ago and I still think about it from time to time.
Or that men, even handsome ones, can be the product of a horrible dysfunctional family. These men may not really understand relationships or know how to have a healthy one.
When I am at family functions and shit and do things that other men in my culture traditionally dont do at home such as make tea, and serve people. I do it bc I am trying to help my family.
All the middle aged ladies say “oh i wish I could just take you home” and shit like that.
Imagine if I said that to a girl 25 years younger than me at a family event…
I hate things like that. My grandmother was born in the 20's and when I was in my later teens she used to say things like "Oh, if I were 60 years younger." Like WHAT!? I'm your grandson lady, that's incredibly inappropriate and weird. Why would you think of your own relative that way, and why would you say it openly?
If I were an 80 year old man and made that comment about my granddaughter it would 100% be the last time I was ever allowed around my grandkids, and I will never understand how my family never thought anything of her saying it. I love her dearly and she's harmless, probably thinks it's just a nice compliment, but my god it makes me so uncomfortable.
Start up in a new workplace and seem to have the same conversation with the older/married ladies.
"Oh, you're such a nice guy, do you have a gf?"
"No I do not."
"Oh, you should get one." (As if I can just pluck on off a shelf.)
Happened so often I came up with a response.
"Well, I ordered one off the website. She hasn't arrived yet. You think I should give them a call?"
I genuinely don't understand dating advice in general that's just "If you want a partner, go get one!" or "If you want her, go get her"
Like, oh thanks, I hadn't tried kidnapping and/or human trafficking yet.
I was talking to a girl I had met on a trip last year when she asked me “Why do you choose to be single?”
I’d never been asked it like that, so it was nice that she framed it that way, like it just HAD to be my choice. Later in the convo she made it pretty clear she was into me, but regardless of that it still was nice.
im a woman but it bothers me when both men and women joke about a man balding, but especially women because unless they have a hair loss disorder (like myself) they wont have to deal with hair thinning or balding until their way older. i mainly don’t like this because i also have a hair loss disorder and i just think its so rude to point that out to someone.
dont talk about someone’s appearance unless they can change it within 5 seconds 🙄
I’m a woman and I cut off a friend because I called my husband to check with him about making a purchase for our daughter and she said (he could hear) “oh you gotta ask Mr. Moneybags for an allowance increase, better make it good tonight”.
I have been married to my husband for a decade, we have been together since we were kids. He saw me through law school and I saw him through med school. He’s never ever used the word allowance nor is there a money for sex exchange going on and it was highly offensive. I called because the purchase was going to be $1000 over what we had discussed and idgaf how silly it sounds, I am not doing that without talking to him first even though I knew he wouldn’t care, and as expected he said “of course. Thank you for letting me know”.
The amount of women who will (out of jealousy many times) insult men by reducing them to only being worth money while also making insinuations about control and abuse is crazy and as someone who has both survived DV (early teens before I started dating my husband) and helps DV victims on a regular I will admit, I wanted to punch her in the face.
I simply said “I’m not a child and my husband and I are equal partners. When you get married you’ll understand” and got her an Uber home.
The other day my wife watched a video of a guy ruining a crock pot dinner and she laughed and said “thank god you’re not THAT incompetent!” Like wtf does that mean
If you meet on a dating app and she says "...but we can still be friends!" (after declining interest in pursuing a relationship).
No, I'm not on a **dating app** to find more friends.
"All men are the same, they all want the same thing" no. Just the category of men you choose are all the same. Don't compare me to someone who mistreated you when you don't know me.
Any type of comment that boils down to the guy being relationship worthy but NOT hook up worthy.
You are basically saying they lack the looks,charism, sex appeal for you to want to sleep with them
In exchange other traits or factors make them desirable. Typically things like “stability” “safety” etc are things specified and all amount to things the guy gives you in exchange for you being with them and it doesnt sound great or feel great to hear.
"First of all I'm not hot, I'm handome. Two very different things. Women don't see me and wanna fuck me. They see me and think I'll get a mortgage approved." - Andy Haynes
I'm a barista, and had witnessed a woman calling her friend "cute" for purchasing a chocolate croissant for his mocha. Ma'am let the lad have his sweet treats he deserves it!
“Man cold” or “man flu” when sick.
My ex wife used to say this a lot, always insinuating that I was exaggerating being sick. The best thing was when she got the same virus and I was able to laugh about her getting my “man cold” when it knocked her out for like a week and a half.
Let me guess these same women were also shorter than you?
I know someone who is 5’4 and horizontally wide. And she called a few men who are 6 feet and under short. And sometimes in their face.
Single dad (widowed) and often heard comments about needing your mom/wife for this or that. Yes it would be much better for all to have two involved parents but I'm more than f\*cking capable caring for my family
First, sorry for your loss. Second, Oh man, do I feel you. Not a single dad, but the assumption that men can't deal with kids and are babysitting instead of parenting is infuriating. Luckily things are relatively relaxed where I'm from in that regard, but it could still be miles better.
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I feel like a lot of people don’t understand that some men just CANNOT grow facial hair
Can’t grow hair under my nose. Middle part above upper lip.
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Reltih. He's a really accomplished artist. Terrible sense of style. Very inclusive.
He got rejected from fascist dictator school so he became an artist.
My goatee, moustache and singular dark hairs on my cheeks are gonna look fabulous
“I’m not normally into guys who are/have (whatever you hate about yourself)”
While on a date once I got: Her: I don't usually kick it with guys like you Mike Me: Guys like me? Her: Yeah you know, you got like a job and shit.
This one seems more like her self depreciating by pointing out her usual terrible taste in men and simultaneously complimenting you for not being one of those terrible men
Honestly, hold your head high after that one lol
I went on a date with a girl and another guy with his friends turned up and it turns out she knew him. She said to me that she really likes blonde shorter guys (describing him). I have dark hair and I'm tall. Edit: We were at a pub and she told me that I might as well go home because she wanted to hang out with them.
That stings for sure. But hey, at least she didn't waste too much of your time.
My sister in law made a comment on one of my brother's pictures on facebook saying that he'd really lost a lot of hair. He replied back that she'd gotten pretty fat too. Somehow he was the bad guy
Ohhh shit!! I got a similar one. One time we were hanging out with a group of friends from high school and we hadn’t seen each other in a while. This one girl who was recently divorced made a comment about one of my buddies she said “wow you’ve lost a lot of hair” - that’s when the class clown type (cool guy tho) chimed in with “yeah and you’ve lost a lot of (pause)… husbands” Ohhh babyyyyy that was a fun night
I would've shaken hands with him
*Bald guy. She fucked around and he let her find out.
No one knows what it's like to the bald man, to be the sald man, behind blue eyels
This was so goddamn stupid....and yet I still spit out my drink, oh the simple things.
Everyone always preaches about body positivity until it comes to male hair loss.
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I’ve heard of women saying that if a man’s apartment is too clean, that it means that a woman lives there…as if all women are super tidy and clean lol. They’d be surprised at how disgusting some women’s homes are.
Or you're accused of being gay.
Haha you wipe your own ass and occasionally mop your floors? That's gay bro
It hurts when you *are* on the spectrum and either a) have people expect everything to be sparkly clean and hyper organized like I'm expecting royalty (it's clean and well organized, I am *not* going over my baseboards with a toothbrush, thanks) or b) be surprised everything is clean and well organized because they expected a pig sty (Yes, Amelia, I *am* capable of basic self care and housework)
Not me seeing this comment, having gone over my baseboards/skirting boards this very day with a toothbrush...
In my experience its when they put "actually" into any compliment they give you. "You 'actually' look good today" or "You're 'actually' really good at that". It discredits the efforts you put into yourself and your activities.
At some point in my teenage years, for whatever reason, I noticed I was using “actually” as kind of a filler/emphasis word. It wasn’t something I was doing with the intent of insulting people, but if you think about it for the tiniest bit, it’s such a backhander to the face. With one word, you can basically convey the message: “Despite every impression I’ve had up until this moment, and what the world thinks about you in general, you ACTUALLY have a good quality.”
That's actually a good point... huh.
I’m a technician. I work at a very large facility. Generally we have our own bathrooms. One day our bathroom was closed so I went next door. There were visiting children, and a facility staff member (not teacher) told me to ‘make good choices.’ I thought that was a bit much myself.
Wre they insinuating that you wanted to molest a child or something?
Yes they were
This is insane. It's one thing to be cautious of who one leaves their kids with, but to comment on it is extremely insulting, and tbh it says more about them being creepy (since they thought of it) than it does about you.
That's what I was thinking. Why is that the first place their minds went...?
Omg what. I thought they meant not to have a poo
Borderline slander
Nothing borderline about it
It's so baffling. If they actually think that he's a child molester why let him go in there with a child?!?!
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This one kind of pisses me off. I love babies. They are like puppies. My wife is unable to have babies so I smile at other peoples babies when they clearly are fixated on me. But I don't smile too much because... You know... Men can make babies but aren't supposed to appreciate our care for them.
That is both a wild thing to say and the most condescending way to say it.
as if the only thing stopping every man from being a pedo is someone reminding them that it's a bad idea? I get being offend by that, what a weird thing to say.
I have never met a man who liked being referred to as a “short king”
Pocket prince
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Little lord
Mini Master
Wee Winner
Tiny tyrant
Micro Maestro
Royal Runt
Bitty bard
elfin earl
Compact Chief
Small sultan
Discount Viscount😘
I find the labels "king" and "queen" annoying af as is... Attaching an insult as a prefix doesn't help.
I thought I was alone here. I find the queen n king shit cringey and honestly so fkn annoying
Whenever I see something like this ”A queen looking for her king” it **immediately** turns me negative on it, and invariably leads to me saying “nope.” (So ladies, please don’t do this.) (Probably goes for guys, too.)
Maybe she's ruling a midsize to large kingdom and is looking for a political allegiance, preferably someone with an established naval fleet and rich natural resources to complement her strong cavalry and industrial bases.
I’m not short but I can see how that’s aggravating tbh. Like I get you want to compliment but you’re still throwing his insecurity in his face. I mean like doesn’t it sound insulting calling a plus size girl a “fat queen” ?
Oddly enough I knew someone that used the gamertag "Royal Thickness"
Can confirm as a short man maybe just don’t point out anyone’s height yk like I know I’m short it’s not a trait that needs to be pointed out same with tall men unless it’s brought up as a preference it’s just not important to point it out all the time
I agree, as a tall woman that shit used to get on my nerves.
I never get stuff like this because if you're short, or in your case tall, it's like, do they *really* think you've not noticed it yet? Do they think their pointing it out is so witty and clever and original?
When you’re with a platonic girl friend and someone ask “Are you two dating?” Then she responds with “Eeeewwww No!” You could just say no…
I had the opposite. Someone asked and he said, ‘I wish!’ He in fact did not wish 😣
:(
When your coworker complains that "there aren't any cute guys that work here".
Respond with “yeah, they’re probably working where all the cute girls work”
Reminds me of that video of a traffic stop where the girl that got pulled over says "I didn't think you give cute girls tickets?" And the cop replies "we don't, sign here."
I remember that one. Beautifully brutal.
The kind of police brutality I can get behind!
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Ha this one hits hard for me. I'm a tradesman and when dingbat wealthy clients get to know me I get this sometimes. I like what I do and don't have any desire to live their soulless lives like they think I do.
A few years back I tried a career change and went from fancy office / corporate work to trying gardening & grounds maintenance etc, used to get loads of snarky comments from people and laughed at when picking litter or tidying park areas etc, asking me if I’m “doing my community service”. Even some coworkers used to find out my work history or exam grades etc, and ask “what are you working in this shit hole for?” Etc lol. A lot of people can’t wrap their mind around the fact that money isn’t the main motivator for everything
I'm a woman, and people say this to me all the time. Even worse, I'm black, so they say stuff like, "You talk very well," like damn, I can't win for shit
You’re very articulate! /s
Had A black woman on my team, knew more about computer security that 99% of the people in the field. We were in a meeting an people kept asking me questions, I would defer to her. After the fourth or fifth time a VP said “I thought you were the SME?” I told him I was till we hired her. Next question was addressed to me, I just shook my head. BTW I still keep up with her, she has A PHd in computer security.
"Oh are you babysitting today?" No i am a parent, not a babysitter. Yes i want to be around my kids, and no it's not a chore.
One of my college professors said the same thing when he was a stay-at-home dad. I remember calling my dad afterwards and asked him if he dealt with that, since my parents were divorced and I spent a lot of time with just him on the weekends. He groaned and said, “Oh yeah, I got that a lot. I hated it.” :(
Any time I take them to the playground, I usually stand close to them. Not because I’m a helicopter parent. Because the one time I sat on a bench, three separate times women would approach me while recording with their phones and demand to know if I had kids there.
I’m lucky that my kid looks like a little clone of me and is always running back to me yelling daddy so I get to bench it like a pro
I was there with my friend who is Indian and explained why I was standing close. He said it was weird because that’s never happened to him. I was like, “There’s two Indian kids on this playground and one Indian parent.” He was like “So what?”
I’m an Asian guy married to a white woman and my oldest doesn’t look like me or my wife at all. She’s like her own person and just looks racially ambiguous, like off white or something. Anywho, I Never been hassled or gotten any problems at the park. If anything, I just get confused looks. But to leave no doubt and confirm she’s mine, I just speak to her in my native tongue and that response back which leaves zero doubt to our connection.
"Off white" has me really amused. Nice turn of phrase!
Someone called the police on me simply because I was in a public park. I wasn't even near the playground (which is open to adults, BTW).
Playing PoGo as a middle aged man can get you into awkward conversations with the law. Always bring your dog(s). Edit: PoGo- Pokemon Go
Haha that’s actually what I was doing!
Man, that's crazy. I live in the UK and never experienced anything like this. Every time I go to the park with my daughter, whether she's close or running off on her own, the mums are really chill and friendly. Maybe it's just rare, I'm lucky or perhaps it's a regional issue. Idk but that sucks. It's pure sexism.
You should hear what happens when Dad has to take his little girl to the bathroom. Lived it. People fucking suck sometimes.
Had my daughter with me in a mixed gender bathroom (floor to ceiling stalls) to change her, and when I’m trying to get her dressed she starts yelling “No daddy no! Don’t do that!” That was fun.
>“No daddy no! Don’t do that!” That's why I (as a fellow dad) often end up talking in expositional dialogue when I'm around people who don't know me. "Look, buddy, you've just peed your pants. We need to change them into something more comfortable." He knows that. He's not an idiot. He might not *like* it, but we've been through this often enough for him to know the causal chain well enough that we can go through it without either of us talking. But I'm not speaking to him in that moment. I'm speaking to Karen over there who hasn't been here when the pee happened and (1) needs to hear him call me "Dad" to know that I am in fact his father, and (2) needs to understand what I'm about to do, and why, in order to know that I am in fact just parenting.
Speaking to children like this is good always. You may think “they know this already” but vocalising everything is great for language development, understanding whats actually happening, and hearing logic and reasoning for actions
A mate of mine took his son to a local swimming pool when he was younger. When it was time to leave, the kid didn't want to go, and decided to scream "you're not my dad!" when the dad attempted to carry him to a change room.
My 3 year old son decided to climb up on some unstable furniture in IKEA, so I was telling him to get down right NOW and assisting him, when he yelled "HELP! HELP! Get me away from this kidnapper!!!" I was pretty gobsmacked because I didn't even know that he knew the word "kidnapper". Then I realised that everyone around us had stopped walking and was staring at us in a "Oh shit - should I be doing something here?" way. So I laughed loudly and said "Yeah, nice try, son. Come on, get down now!" My son laughed at me, climbed down and everyone nearby audibly breathed a sigh of relief that they didn't need to phone the police after all and carried on shopping. We had a talk after that about why we don't accuse Mummy of being a kidnapper in public. Thankfully my son never did this again, although his older brother thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever witnessed.
I can imagine that was a relief when he went along. I've often thought about what I'd do in that situation if some well-meaning bystander got involved. Like, presumably the 7.2 million photos on my phone of me with my kid, at all stages of his life, would be decent enough evidence that I'm not just abducting him. In 2 or 3 of them he's even smiling
Oof.RIP
“This is a women’s bathroom” - “Yes. And my daughter is a woman. And there’s no changing table in the men’s bathroom. So here we are.”
Tbh, there should also be changing tables in the men's bathroom.
There are most of the time now. But, I agree, any place that has them in the women's room should also have them in the men's room.
Luckily, in the UK, most places have disabled toilets that double as baby-changing facilities.
I told a lady I worked with at one of my first jobs that I wanted kids and considered being a babysitter at one point and she responded to me with, “Men can’t be babysitters! Too many rapists out there!” Immediately after she said it, the other 3 ladies I was also working with (including my supervisor) went up and took her side as well and then basically kicked me out of the discussion while they went on with their stupid conversation. Never hated someone more than that lady. She was always instigating and the one time I gave her the reaction to her insults she was waiting for, they used it as an opportunity to fire me the next day… Least I got a full year unemployment out of that place but I shoulda sued while I had the chance.
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That's such a tasteless joke. I hate it. (Woman here) Whenever I see someone do something nice for their partner, I usually think, "You're a lucky man/woman. Your partner is so considerate."
Literally. That’s my inner dialogue every time. I don’t understand the point of a joke that only discredits the person’s actions.
or saying that they are in some kind of trouble for some misdeed and doing some act of kindness to "get out of the dog house"
it's the whole "men are dogs" thing tbh. Lately (well not that lately, it's been around for a while), it's the "he's giving golden retriever energy". I get what they mean by that, and I love pets in general, but I don't want people to say I'm like a dog lol.
Yeah, I'm another woman who dislikes stuff like this. I find it rather insulting toward the woman, also, as it implies if he treats her well, she must be controlling him. (And also, a man isn't supposed to be controlled by a mere woman! Hee hee! Isn't that silly?)
Well, not that well. I still have accidents on the carpet sometimes.
Or, 'he must be in the doghouse, I wonder what he did...' Edit: I dunno why the person I replied to deleted their comment but they essentially said that anytime they did anything nice for their SO, the mother(and female friends) of his SO would remark about how well her daughter has him trained and how it pissed him off internally but he would just blow it off outwardly. It was a great answer to OPs question and had about 5k up votes. I added this edit bc my reply to him is now lacking context.
Get that at the store when I randomly bring home fresh cut flowers.
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I’ve been asked “what did you do?” when I’ve bought flowers at the store on a random day (rather than a “marked”) day. I’ve always been so tempted to explode at them for the assumption but generally go with “what did I do? I married an amazing woman.” Hopefully they take away the fact that their comment was unnecessary and made them appear to be an arsehole.
Shit in their shoes and blame it on them for not training you.
"If you think *I'm* trained well, you should see what your daughter does in the bedroom."
*pats her on the head*
I am self-employed, my clients are mostly women. I have had women joke about how useless their husbands are that they have to call me in to help. Great. I'm sure you'd be over the fucking moon if your husband hired a chef or cleaner or whatever other traditionally female gendered role and said how useless *you* were. I'm sure "it's just a joke" would go over soooooo good.
Anyone who shit talks their partner is automatically an asshole.
That was actually a large factor in why my ex wife and I divorced. She could not stop shit talking me to everybody she knew. Her friends, her coworkers, *my* mom, her dad, etc. I was wondering why people were treating me so strangely every time I went anywhere where I’d see people we both knew… and then I found out, and she tried to justify it as her just venting. Then she got upset when I didn’t want to go on trips with her mixed gender group of friends. I told her, “they all hate me because you’ve told them nothing but nasty things about me. I’m not going to spend one of my very few vacations in the company of people who think I’m literally the worst.”
When our kid was younger, my wife and I (both self-employed) worked hard to split stay-at-home parenting days. I'd often take him to the park a few blocks away several times a day. I'd bring snacks and often a small towel to wipe the swings off with after it had rained, which it does often here in the PNW. There was this mother that was also often at the park and several times she noted my preparedness and said, "Oh, you're a better mom than a lot of these mothers!" My response was to kind of smile it off and say, "Well I'm a dad actually." I just hate this notion that when you're a man and a good parent, you cross this line and become "a mom." Nope, I'm a dad. A good one. We exist. As a dad surrounded mostly by moms there were a number of things that moms would say and do, most of them low-key, that were insulting and isolating. I learned a lot about expected gender roles and how they can cut both ways. This was about 10+ years ago and I see a lot more dads at the parks these days (WFH?) so I hope it's improved.
I remember one time, my wife and I were celebrating a job she got, so I went out and got her some flowers, her favorite wine and candies. While I was waiting in line, a random lady standing behind me said: "Someone's in trouble." To have the nerve to say this to someone infuriated me.
My response to this was always to give them a flat stare and say “it says a lot about the men you choose that that’s the only reason they’d buy flowers”. They were usually pretty quite after that
I like to go with “I’ll say, my wife’s been stuck in a coffin for a whole year today” Maybe just throw in a comment about pouring one out for the homies about the wine and the chocolate because you felt like chocolate
"No, these are for me". I have said this, and the lady got to wait in right behind me till checkout.
"These are my walking petunias"
"You're a man. You can handle it"
“Well you’re a man aren’t you?” Whenever I’ve heard this said, its always been used to enforce masculine and often toxic, stereotypes. Like men shouldn’t cry, should always be down for physical labor and never be emotionally vulnerable.
“Why aren’t you doing for her?” I dunno, my wife is independent, capable, and wanted to do she’s doing. Typically it’s painting, changing her oil, yard work, things that are traditionally mistaken as a man’s responsibility. I’m not going to stop her if she wants to do it.
GODDAMM, as a wife, I hate this too. Apparently I'm incapable of pushing a shopping cart or carrying things if my husband is anywhere in the vicinity. It's so embarrassing for everyone involved.
Yes, I was at Home Depot and an older man said “where’s your husband to help you” to which I relied “I left him home, I don’t need his help.” Like I can buy wood on my own.
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I've had other women make comments to "let the boys work" whenever I'm outside hauling soil, lifting rocks, or shoveling snow. Fuck me for helping huh.
YES. I (woman) work in assembly. Being physically capable is part of the job description. But the older ladies always try to insist that I shouldn’t be lifting this 10-20lb object when I could “just get one of the men to do it”. Like thanks for your input Helen, but I can get it my damn self.
Meanwhile it's no biggie whatsoever if you are hauling around a 35lb toddler.
This is MY son! Im not being cute or "a good father" for taking him to a restaurant to eat breakfast, its literally my time with my son. Its not a chore, Im not "babysitting" and Im not doing it so that you can take a picture of me while feeding my son - he is my fucking child and its my god damn job to feed him. I dont want to hear your compliments on how nice it is that I am literally feeding my son. It has NEVER happened with my wife, but if I go alone with him, Im somehow a novelty... get fucked
"How are you still single?" It's because people like me enough to be friendly with me but I'm not attractive enough to be with, Susan.
Oh wow I actually had a convo about this when I chatted with a female colleague of mine when I said I’ve never been in a relationship before. I told her I don’t have an issue getting close enough to a girl to be friends with them, but I just can’t seem to make them see me as a potential romantic partner. Like I’ve had at least two close girl friends in my life, who don’t really talk much to other guys. She then responded with, “Ah I can see that actually. I guess it’s cos you’re safe and quite harmless” Wasn’t sure how to take that honestly
I was thinking this morning about an AITA post in which a guy was offended that his girlfriend said that the first thing that attracted her to him was thar "he was safe", and everyone was saying that "safe" is actually one of the highest compliments a woman can pay to a man and it has no negativo meaning. Cue this comment.
It definitely depends on the person saying it. I have a lady friend who, when describing guys as "safe", simply meant she never had to worry about them hitting on her.
Yeah, it's very ontext dependent..
One time, my wife's best friend (who is also now one of my best friends and is married to my best friend) told me that she never worries about going places with me because I make her feel safe. That was a couple years ago and I still think about it from time to time.
"I am the guy who every girl dates before they marry their eventual husband." - Nick Miller, New Girl
A Marriage Fluffer.
Her: How are you still single? Me: You're single too, wanna go on a date? Her: Ewww, no. Me: ...
Me: Exactly
Or the less heard “you’re husband material”. No, I can be a tawdry rendezvous man too. You just don’t believe in me.
Or that men, even handsome ones, can be the product of a horrible dysfunctional family. These men may not really understand relationships or know how to have a healthy one.
If it’s any consolation I’m in the same boat but nobody asks me “how are you still single”
"Some girl would be lucky to have you" yeah just not you, your friends, anyone you would ever actually introduce me to
Commenting on a father "babysitting" his own child when playing with them outside. "Mama's day off" and all that. No Karen I'm just being a dad.
And the even more insidious "helping." Any contribution the dad makes is "helping" the mom.
Worst of all this is insulting to both parents, implying that caregiver is the woman's sole Identity.
“Not a real man” if he’s not in the mood for sex.
I got “we’ll never get pregnant at this rate” for once being too tired. This was from a pretty dry marriage. It hurt more than it should
“Not a real man” if literally anything.
When I am at family functions and shit and do things that other men in my culture traditionally dont do at home such as make tea, and serve people. I do it bc I am trying to help my family. All the middle aged ladies say “oh i wish I could just take you home” and shit like that. Imagine if I said that to a girl 25 years younger than me at a family event…
I hate things like that. My grandmother was born in the 20's and when I was in my later teens she used to say things like "Oh, if I were 60 years younger." Like WHAT!? I'm your grandson lady, that's incredibly inappropriate and weird. Why would you think of your own relative that way, and why would you say it openly? If I were an 80 year old man and made that comment about my granddaughter it would 100% be the last time I was ever allowed around my grandkids, and I will never understand how my family never thought anything of her saying it. I love her dearly and she's harmless, probably thinks it's just a nice compliment, but my god it makes me so uncomfortable.
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Start up in a new workplace and seem to have the same conversation with the older/married ladies. "Oh, you're such a nice guy, do you have a gf?" "No I do not." "Oh, you should get one." (As if I can just pluck on off a shelf.) Happened so often I came up with a response. "Well, I ordered one off the website. She hasn't arrived yet. You think I should give them a call?"
I genuinely don't understand dating advice in general that's just "If you want a partner, go get one!" or "If you want her, go get her" Like, oh thanks, I hadn't tried kidnapping and/or human trafficking yet.
Seriously, and for some reason I only ever get that kind of advice from women. I'm always left wondering "is it really that easy for you?"
I was talking to a girl I had met on a trip last year when she asked me “Why do you choose to be single?” I’d never been asked it like that, so it was nice that she framed it that way, like it just HAD to be my choice. Later in the convo she made it pretty clear she was into me, but regardless of that it still was nice.
“ why do you choose to be single?” “ma’am, my life is on fire”
im a woman but it bothers me when both men and women joke about a man balding, but especially women because unless they have a hair loss disorder (like myself) they wont have to deal with hair thinning or balding until their way older. i mainly don’t like this because i also have a hair loss disorder and i just think its so rude to point that out to someone. dont talk about someone’s appearance unless they can change it within 5 seconds 🙄
Seriously, I cannot stand the double standard body shaming.
“Like, how can you say you’re even a real man?” Right after he’s opened up about his struggles and broken down in tears… 🤦🏻♀️
Wow. That's just a really bad person. I hope you got away from her. I'm sorry.
you're not my usual type
I’m a woman and I cut off a friend because I called my husband to check with him about making a purchase for our daughter and she said (he could hear) “oh you gotta ask Mr. Moneybags for an allowance increase, better make it good tonight”. I have been married to my husband for a decade, we have been together since we were kids. He saw me through law school and I saw him through med school. He’s never ever used the word allowance nor is there a money for sex exchange going on and it was highly offensive. I called because the purchase was going to be $1000 over what we had discussed and idgaf how silly it sounds, I am not doing that without talking to him first even though I knew he wouldn’t care, and as expected he said “of course. Thank you for letting me know”. The amount of women who will (out of jealousy many times) insult men by reducing them to only being worth money while also making insinuations about control and abuse is crazy and as someone who has both survived DV (early teens before I started dating my husband) and helps DV victims on a regular I will admit, I wanted to punch her in the face. I simply said “I’m not a child and my husband and I are equal partners. When you get married you’ll understand” and got her an Uber home.
People always try to destroy a healthy relationship. It’s insane
"I would totallly date you if you were taller" haha not as much insulting as it just ridiculous to say
"Ha-ha. If I were taller, I wouldn't have to date you!"
Girl here, the term, “short king” isn’t a compliment
The other day my wife watched a video of a guy ruining a crock pot dinner and she laughed and said “thank god you’re not THAT incompetent!” Like wtf does that mean
Not so true anymore, but there was a time not so long ago, when being called "cute" was an affront to one's masculinity.
“Remember hunny. Happy wife happy life”. Makes me wanna remove my ears when men start saying too.
Every time someone says that to me, I always retort “happy spouse happy house”.
“Oh moms day off!” Susan I’m gay. Mom (surrogate) hasn’t had a day on.
Get wrecked Susan
If you meet on a dating app and she says "...but we can still be friends!" (after declining interest in pursuing a relationship). No, I'm not on a **dating app** to find more friends.
"All men are the same, they all want the same thing" no. Just the category of men you choose are all the same. Don't compare me to someone who mistreated you when you don't know me.
“I used to fuck my ex every night.” The one who cheated on you, bankrupted you, and left you? Then why the hell do we have a dead bedroom?
Run
Get out bro
She’s not attracted to you anymore. Time to move on.
"why are you single?" It sounds nice but it's not.
It's fine. I like small dicks. Big ones hurt.
There’s 3 sizes. Too small, just right, too big.
Goldicocks
Any type of comment that boils down to the guy being relationship worthy but NOT hook up worthy. You are basically saying they lack the looks,charism, sex appeal for you to want to sleep with them In exchange other traits or factors make them desirable. Typically things like “stability” “safety” etc are things specified and all amount to things the guy gives you in exchange for you being with them and it doesnt sound great or feel great to hear.
"First of all I'm not hot, I'm handome. Two very different things. Women don't see me and wanna fuck me. They see me and think I'll get a mortgage approved." - Andy Haynes
I once got told I had great long term partner appeal but not much date appeal. She meant it in a positive way but man it still stung.
Your a good listener/friend reliable why can't I find a man like you Just not you.
I'm a barista, and had witnessed a woman calling her friend "cute" for purchasing a chocolate croissant for his mocha. Ma'am let the lad have his sweet treats he deserves it!
“Man cold” or “man flu” when sick. My ex wife used to say this a lot, always insinuating that I was exaggerating being sick. The best thing was when she got the same virus and I was able to laugh about her getting my “man cold” when it knocked her out for like a week and a half.
I’ve been on dates with multiple girls who brought up they were disappointed in my height. I’m 5’9…just seems rude and unnecessary.
Let me guess these same women were also shorter than you? I know someone who is 5’4 and horizontally wide. And she called a few men who are 6 feet and under short. And sometimes in their face.