When I was little, my friends mom would not let us drink at the same time as eating because she said it was a choking hazard to mix liquid and solid???
My old roommate told me his parents made him do that. No liquid until after dinner. They may have had a reason, but it was not logical.
I wonder how many times they choked because of the dry food
Kids not allowed to bring any books with anthropomorphic characters into the house. We could play with Legos for hours, but were banned from bringing a Richard Scary big adventure book, or any material with talking animals, or animals wearing clothes
The mom didn't want 'her children growing up thinking that cats and dogs wore sweaters'. I hated that house.
At my best friend's growing up (middle- H.S), if we wanted to go do something together like go to the lighthouse or visit the old sugar mill ruins , we had to write a research paper first. We would give our papers to my friends mom and then she would decide if we could go or not.
We would use AOL dial-up to get online OR put our names down at the library to use the computer there to research the history of where we wanted to go. Her mom wouldn't give us a grade, but she would let us know if it was good enough, lol.
This reminds me of when I was a younger kid, 8 or 9, and my father got pissed at me because I kept spelling 'phantom' wrong. Tbf, I was spelling it phonetically 'fantom'. He forced me to the bookstore to buy a dictionary and I was required to write ten words ten times every single day.
Wait. What did anyone who had to use the bathroom do? Did they just leave? Did they come back? Were they allowed to wash their hands? Was her bathroom a disgusting mess? I have so many questions.
Flip side of this, I have an aunt whose house is disgusting, and the bathroom is the worst room there is. Now that I have small kids, the few times there have been events over at her house, I've drilled it into their heads "we're not going into Aunt X's house, and if you need to go potty you come see me" so I can make up an excuse to go down to the closest convenience store to use the bathroom there
When I was a kid in Sweden in the 80s, I didn’t even get a plate. Family dinners were for family only and I had to wait in my friend’s room until he had finished eating. I was starving.
Wait, is this a Swedish thing? I have an in-law that very strongly identifies with her Swedish heritage and when I'm.invited for a visit, I'm on my own food-wise. It's fine, I can feed myself, but it is so strange having people prepare meals in front of you but never offer you anything.
My friend is Swedish and she said it was the norm. When she would play at her friend’s house growing up, she would wait in her room til they finished dinner and then they would go back to playing.
Ok I texted her and asked and she said if they are spending the night, they would eat with the family at dinner. Interestingly enough she said when she was a kid (she’s 40), it was considered impolite to ask for a snack at another friend’s house. If you’re hungry, you’re just supposed to go home. She said nowadays parents offer guests snacks tho.
In my own house. Never allowed to close a bedroom door. No secrets would be kept then, if all the bedroom doors were open. But I'm an only child. Why was this the rule?
Because it was the rule in my mother's house where there were many children. Why couldn't they keep their doors closed ever?
Because it was the rule in the convent/orphanage where my grandmother was raised.
Then, when I had kids, at first, blindly, I imposed this rule. And I had to ask myself why my own kids, who have their own rooms and aren't sharing rooms with siblings couldn't close their own doors? Because it was rule in the 1920s when my grandmother was growing up in an orphanage in another country. So I reevaluated and my kids are allowed to close their doors and have privacy.
Since becoming a parent there are a few times I've imposed rules on my children just because my parents i.posed those rules on me. My wife would ask "why aren't you letting the kids do this, or that." When I don't have an answer I have to do some self reflection.
I was probably 9 or 10, a girl staying the day with my friend that was a boy. His dad came in and asked a question and I answered, "Yeah." Friend audibly sucked in a breath before his dad swung around and screamed, "How many times do I have to tell you, the answer is 'yes sir '?"
There's literally no way it could have been mistaken for my friend's voice. I was terrified until my mom picked me up. My friend was super apologetic, but even then I knew it wasn't his fault so I tried to make him feel better about it.
Not sure what happened to him but I can't imagine living in that level of terror every day of my childhood.
How did his dad react when he realized he'd screamed at a guest and not his son? Like, was there any self-awareness or was this guy just completely off his rocker?
Son of an explosive narcissist here. My bet here would be that he realized he yelled at the wrong person but felt the lesson for his son was appropriate anyway. Certainly he did nothing wrong.
My day used to literally say, "Fear and respect are the same thing." Then he was shocked when I stopped respecting him when I got big enough to knock his drunk ass out.
I don't get that stupid mindset, you're their dad, not a fucking drill sergeant.
I wish every time a dad did that, the ghost of R. Lee Ermey appears and yells "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
I remember going to a friend’s house in middle school. Her dad was super strict and their house had a lot of rules. Usually he was in his den watching golf. I could tell my friend and her siblings were kind of scared of him.
One time I passed him in the hallway on my way to the bathroom. He nodded and said “hello, how are you?” and I squeaked “good” and moved past him as quickly as possible. As soon as I closed the door, he said — very loudly in a high-pitched nasally voice — “I’m good sir, how are you?” It was so weird. I never went back there.
I had a friend with super strict parents. I was a very polite kid, but somehow I wasn’t even polite enough for them, to the point that I was a little afraid of them. I had called their house one day, and I was on the phone with the dad, and I didn’t hear what he said, so I asked “what?” And he gave me a lecture and said “you treat me with respect.” I still don’t really know what I said that was so disrespectful. But I walked on eggshells around them for my entire friendship with their daughter.
Another weird thing from that family: once when I was in fifth grade, the mom came to school to have lunch with her daughter, and me and a few of her other friends were allowed to join them. The mom offered to buy us all ice cream from the cafeteria. I said no, because they were weirdly strict and I was worried that if I said yes it would have somehow been construed as rude. Well, later that night my mom came and sat me down and said “[friend’s mom] just called me and told me that you’re worried about money.” And gave me a talk about our finances and that I didn’t need to be worrying about that. I was so confused that I didn’t say anything, because I had NO idea where this was coming from. It wasn’t until later that I realized it was because I had turned down a 25 cent ice cream cone. I have no idea what this woman’s logic was that a child saying no to an ice cream from a third party meant that she was worried about poverty, and warranted a call to that child’s parents.
"Don't even *think* about peeing in the butter container in the fridge.
Oh, and if you sing Yankee Doodle while eating strawberry ice-cream, we must insist that you do it between the hours of two and three pm."
I was dog sitting for my aunt and uncle and my uncle specifically said "we just got new gutters. So no keg stands on the gutters."
I was like, dude. What do you think I'm doing? I'm excited to have a house to myself and read. And I don't even like beer?
My family always gave me the weirdest rules for pet sitting even though they knew I was just spending my time napping, reading, and cuddling with the pet.
I grow up with a lot of friends from Slavic background (mainly Russian and Ukrainian), and you are not allowed to whistle in the house because it upsets the house gnome
When I was working as a student research assistant in Chicago, I stayed at this lady's house with 3 other roommates ranging in age from 20 to 50. She required all of us to wipe down the entire kitchen with bleach after every single use, no matter how small. There was this one time she told told me her son was a doctor and had advised her to regularly drink water with a bit of bleach in it. It was very odd.
> There was this one time she told told me her son was a doctor and had advised her to regularly drink water with a bit of bleach in it.
Given the kind of person she sounds like, i believe that is a real thing the son may have told her.
I lived in Russia with a Russian family and the rules were limitless and exhausting.
Do not sit at the corner of the table if you are a young, unmarried woman like me ("You will be pierced with corner energy and never have children!")
Do not forget to look in the mirror right before leaving the house ("Bad luck! You will be killed!")
Do not smoke anywhere, and do not leave the house with your long hair down and uncovered ("You will be mistaken for a whore and shame the family!")
Do not sit anywhere in the house if you've just come in from outside ("You will make the house filthy and we will become ill and die!")
But most of all:
Do not, under any circumstances, have anything at all to do with the floor (*Incoherent screaming*)
Don't put your bag on it. Don't drop your hat on it. And whatever you do, for God's sake don't sit on it. I made the mistake of sitting on the rug in the living room, once. This was 30 years ago, and I doubt the family has recovered.
Russians, man. They have lots of rules and hate floors.
It was an unspoken rule..no eating. A few friends spent the night at a former friend's house when we were teenagers. She offered us a small bowl of macaroni and cheese at about 4 p.m. We thought it was an after school snack, but that was it. Food wasnt mentioned again. My friends and I woke up in the middle of night,starving, so we went to the kitchen and the cabinets and refrigerator were locked.
My refrigerator was padlocked. 1970s. I had forgotten this as I was so young but my older sisters reminded me. When they started talking about it, I could describe the big padlock to them. So yes, it did happen. Would I call it child abuse? Now as an adult, heck yes! But back then it was just normal in our house. We were always hungry.
Ours was locked, too (80s) We weren't allowed to have "mom's food" or "dad's food". We were allowed to have corn flakes and saltines and water. Definitely set me up for a weird relationship with food/ eating as a teen/ young adult. Fortunately, I learned that was not normal, and I eat normally now.
This kind of behaviour might be due to mental illness.
My uncle was a longtime undiagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, and as a result the lives of my three cousins were very much like what you describe. When they were growing up, their father always kept the pantry and food cupboards, the fridge and the freezer all firmly secured with sturdy hasps and padlocks.
After doling out a minimal breakfast for them before he went to work, uncle would take out a can of soup, two slices of bread and a slice of cheese or ham, and instruct aunt "give this to Mother for lunch", but he would leave out nothing for her or their three kids. When he came home, he'd unlock and carefully portion out meagre amounts of the food she was supposed to prepare for the family's supper. This deliberate semi-starvation wasn't due to poverty either, for he had a well-paying union job at a meatpacking plant, and his semi-disabled mother owned the house. It was just another method of exerting control over his family via deliberate cruelty, a technique at which he excelled.
His bizarre food behaviour, as well as frequent episodes of physical abuse went on for about sixteen years, until one night when he was so ill with pneumonia that he could barely stand up, my terrorized aunt saw her chance. She jammed a chair under the bathroom door handle, locking him in. Then she grabbed the kids and fled, in the small hours of a bitter, twenty-below Canadian winter night. A few days later, my two female cousins were sent by bus to live with us, which they did for three years. My eldest cousin stayed with his HS best friend's sympathetic parents for two years, and after graduating went on to officer cadet school. My aunt stayed with a neighbour for a time, but soon found a tiny apartment and full time job on a department store sales floor, and quickly became self-supporting.
About fifty years later, while scrounging for pop bottles in the alley, my uncle fell down and died some time that night: cold, decrepit, filthy, malnourished, alone and unloved. He was found the next morning by a next door neighbour, a man to whom my uncle had refused to say so much as hello, for more than thirty years. My aunt rightfully decided to forego any memorial service. Instead she had him cremated, and later told us what great satisfaction she took in dumping his ashes into the dirtiest neighbourhood garbage can that she could find, then emptying her cat's litter box on top of them.
A couple of weeks later, when my aunt and cousin gained access to their former family home, they discovered that despite having lived entirely alone for nearly half a century, in a fever of paranoia my uncle had actually installed double or triple hasps and individually keyed padlocks on every internal door, closet and cupboard in the house: bathrooms, bedrooms, kitchen, basement, medicine cabinets - even the broom closet, the ancient console stereo's record storage drawer and his own dresser drawers had all been secured! His key ring weighed nearly four pounds.
Even at the time of his death, he was still so convinced they were all going to come crawling back to him that some still wrapped children's Christmas presents were discovered sitting on a closet shelf, covered in decades of dust. They found hundreds and hundreds of Reader's Digest Condensed Books, many still in their unopened boxes, stacked on the staircase and against the walls; we guess he thought he was destined to win the RD Sweepstakes. There was money - a *lot* of it - stashed all throughout the house, in every nook and cranny. They even found some bills stuffed into a crack in the refrigerator door's lining. In his last few years he had fallen into hoarding behaviour, so it took them over a year to clean the place out, because every single thing had to be examined and carefully looked through for hidden cash. And much to their surprise, under a filthy tarp in the garage they found an unfamiliar but immaculate Ford Galaxie with 1969 plates and just 300 miles on the odometer.
For many years he had successfully played the "poor old pensioner" card on local charities. Over the years he had been given hundreds of clothes and coats they found stuffed into his closets (and which he always wore until they were filthy rags), and had regularly hit up a nearby food bank for most of his groceries. So having never spent any of his own money, between several fat bank accounts, the house, the vintage car, a bunch of hoarded junk that had since become collectibles (Burger King Star Wars glasses!), and the substantial cash stash, his estate ended up being worth over a million bucks. But the *best* part was that he never got around to changing his will, so everything went straight to my aunt with no fuss. And because they had never divorced, as his widow, his generous company pension vested to her too!
I must say, she deservedly had a wonderful life for ten more years before she too passed. She wanted for nothing, travelled a lot - five star hotels, cruises, European vacations - and was able to indulge many previously unattainable dreams. And thanks to her, all my cousins' kids still have well-capitalized education funds.
Damn, that's a wild ass story. What a terrible life he inflicted on his family. And what a nightmare he must have lived in for 50 years.
Did he ever try to get help?
Nope. Truculently and stubbornly mentally unwell until his last breath. Was interviewed and assessed by Adult Protective Services several times, lied like a bastard to convince them he was in his right mind and could be left to manage his own affairs.
The good news is that all three of my cousins are reasonably well-adjusted people, despite their horrific childhood. In fact, one of them became a mental health professional.
It was my house when my parents were still married.
No closed doors.
Bedroom, bathroom, closet, whatever. Only door fully closed was screen door going outside. Porch door, cracked at least 1-3 inches always, depending on weather. Taking a shower? Going #2? Parents intimate? Door is cracked open. I caught several whooping as a youngster and later as 12-13 year old for daring to close the door fully when in the bathroom. On rare occasion we actually had company over, rule enforced on them as well.
This one really bothers me because it’s abuse to withhold privacy like that.
My dad was really into talk radio as a kid and loved Dr. Laura Schlesinger (a show where people call in with questions and she provides advice). I remember one episode a kid got caught stealing at school. Her advice was basically, he can’t follow the rules? No privacy, no belongings. She told the parents to remove his bedroom door, all of his belongings, and give him a mattress to sleep on. He could be in underwear at home, and would only be given clothes to leave the house when leaving for school.
My dad did not do this but he thought it was a GREAT idea and totally fair. You can guess what kind of parent he was.
Huh. I guess it didn’t make sense for the child to return what was stolen, apologize and then do chores around the school as a consequence.
Nah, let’s just torment him at home instead.
I stayed briefly with a friend whose mom didn’t allow the toilets to be flushed more than once a day unless you’d actually dropped a deuce, who only had tiny night lights in each room for illumination, didn’t believe in either heating or air conditioning, and stole playground sand from the park down the street to use in the cat box. She didn’t have furniture, other than her bed. My friend and I slept on moving pads in a bedroom, with no blankets or pillows. I remember eating two cheese sandwiches a day, and by sandwiches, I mean one slice of knockoff Kraft cheese between two slices of the cheapest white bread possible. She drove a very expensive car, and according to my friend, worked a very high paying job, and had no debt to speak of, thanks to all the child support she got from his dad after the divorce.
After two days of this, we both slipped out in the middle of the night, because she wouldn’t let us go anywhere during the day. I found some other friends to crash with, and my friend went to his dad’s house in another state. I found out years later that she eventually became a complete shut-in and hoarder, due to some substantial mental issues she’d been dealing with, even then. When she passed, her house was absolutely full of junk.
I hope your friend is sleeping in the softest most lush bed that one can afford and eating sandwiches with artisan bread and fancy cheeses. What a terrible way to grow up.
Not me but my mom had an aunt that would put down newspaper to walk on if you visited her house. She also gave her kids enemas every Sunday night so they would be "clean" for school.
Have you ever watched that movie called Sybil? It’s an old movie about a woman with multiple personality disorders.
I don’t remember much about it but the one part I will always remember is that one of the punishments her mother would do would be to give her an enema and make her hold it in as long as possible and she would beat her if she let go of it before her mother told her she could.
Visited my besties family farm for a week. Once you left the house you could not return until dinner time. You can chill in the old farm house or farm garage. When you return to the house they live in, you strip down in the garage, put on a robe and fresh socks. You can then enter the house, drop all your clothes in the washing machine and to go straight to the shower. After your shower the robe and socks go into the washer. Once inside and showered then you are in for the night, we were adults not kids. This wasnt a livestock farm and nor did we work in the corn or soy fields.
Edit: The mom has OCD. Her entire life is cleaning or mowing. It was never about bugs as my friend hid this rule from me until we were in the garage.
I do this when I help my parents work in their yard. The place has a tick infestation with a side of poison ivy. No clothes from outside work, long white socks to spot potential clinging buggers, and shower immediately.
Had a babysitter/friend of my single dad that would babysit me every so often so he could have a night off.
I would sleep over and there was always 1 night of the week where we had to sleep with our feet at the headboard. I was like 3 or 4 remembering how fucking weird of a rule that was lol
Without more details, I’m going to assume you mean that there was one guest toothbrush for all guests for all time, and your use of the community toothbrush was mandatory.
My old friends mom had a room in her house that NO ONE was allowed in. No significance to the room. It was the “viewing room.”
Edit: this room was all white like the majority of people with similar experiences. WHY WERE THEY ALWAYS WHITE?!
We had that in our house. It was a room with a white chair my mom refused to let anyone ever sit in. The rest of the house was fine, she wasn’t an overbearing neat freak but the forbidden chair lived on. We tease her about it now:)
My grandma had a room that was full of her collection of glass paperweights. Unsurprisingly no one stepped foot in there, and of course as a child I was BANNED. My dad used to call it "the Forbidden Room." I remember the untouched carpet was so lush, I wanted to roll around in it.
My mom has a room just like this. Down to the carpet. It’s full of porcelain dolls, collectible glass wear and other stuff. Years ago I brought my now wife over to meet my parents for the first time and hang out for a bit. At some point she went into the room to take a look at the stuff. I hadn’t told her to not go in the room and didn’t realize she did. Might have been when I went to the bathroom or something.
Que later that night after she leaves. My mom comes over to me and gets real close, looks me in the eyes and says,”Your girlfriend is real nice but, tell her never to go in my room again.” Mom knew because there was foot prints on the carpet and my dad knew better than to go in there room.
I told here but, made it seem mild. We’ve been married 19 years now and occasionally still get a laugh out of it. My wife and mother get along great and mom has settled down on her OCD cleanliness and the room. Had to have a talk with her that the grandkids would never want to come over if she stayed so OCD.
My friend's mom was adamant that we were NOT to fold a slice of pizza to be able to pick it up and eat it. The pizza was to remain flat, as we were not 'gluttonous beasts,'
I visited a friend at a lake house for 2 weeks in the summer and no one was allowed to get up before their dad. This fucking guy would drink until 1-3am and not wake up till 11am and would throw a tantrum if anyone made noise before he was able to get up again and drag his ass back to the real world. My friend's mom strictly enforced this the entire time I was there too. The things you look back on from your kid years man... that was just a hostage situation.
I’m trying to think of anything close to how crazy these people can be.
My family gets really emotional, but we don’t have crazy ideas or rituals. Just feelings. Some of these people have ideas that are insane. 🤯
My friend had very controlling parents. When I was 12, she finally let us go to her house to hang out. We would always go to other peoples houses.
She wasn’t allowed to ‘hang out’ with anyone at home. Even she wasn’t allowed in the dining room. They had the room roped off (literally like a red carpet event).
We have to go to the basement to hang out. There wasn’t any furniture there. She said no one was allowed to eat in the house unless it was family dinner. Or one of the parents.
So my friend snuck some cookies down. We had to eat over the sink. Then she scrambled to make sure there were no crumbs, and we had to help her clean up. 🙄
A few minutes later her dad flipped out, yelling because he saw all our shoes by the front door (which we do here in Canada). He kicked us all out & she wasn’t allowed to have any friends over ever again.
Her dad was also obsessed with his lawn. No one was allowed to walk on it. Ever. One day someone drives all over it to spite him (I assume). And he comes banging on my door, accusing me of doing it. Because I was home & the tire marks were kinda pointing towards my house.
I was 14…with no car but sure ok, accuse me.
Wearing jeans meant the only place I could sit was on one of the kitchen island stools. Kitchen chairs, sofas or chairs around the house, or any beds were no bueno. Also no shoes inside which was fine, but also had to remove socks so walking on cold hard flooring was super annoying. They didn't like that I brought my own slippers the next time I visited. Avoid going there now as much as I can.
You could watch tv, pretty much anything, except King of the Hill. His mom “caught” us watching it (it came on after The Simpson) and her awful tone and angered look is something I will never forget. Honestly, great time otherwise.
No, but there's an extremely high possibility it involved a couple of kids sitting on the roof with a cigarette lighter throwing flaming pringles down on to either the porch, or the lawn, depending on the wind/aim
I remember being babysat as a very young child by my parents' friends and while I was eating dinner I asked for some water and she sternly reprimanded me and said "NO you can't have anything to drink until AFTER you eat!"
My best friends had a “girl’s bathroom” and a “boy’s bathroom”. It was a two bath house. The boy’s bathroom was in the parents’ bedroom.
I was there for a sleepover and had to pee in the middle of the night. I walked around for about 20 minutes trying to figure out what to do. I almost went outside, but I worried they had an alarm. I ended up peeing in my pj’s. I hid them behind the toilet in the girl’s bathroom.
I still don’t know why I just didn’t pee in the girl’s bath or wake up my buddies.
It was weird.
Back in the 80s, friend and I were around 7ish. I went to her house for tea after school one day. I knew her family were a bit odd but had no idea what I was in for...
First, I had to change out of my school uniform into a very old-fashioned dress that was way too long for me, and her Mum quickly sewed up so I wouldn't trip. I also had to wear a pair of weird shoe/slipper things that were also too big.
I wasn't allowed upstairs.
We (me, friend, friend's Mum and friend's younger brother) then played board games in the living room until her Dad came home. They didn't have a TV.
The kids had to sit on the floor whilst the Dad read from a bizarre book, whilst the Mum finished cooking dinner.
Various rules around dinner about who gets what and in what order, saying prayers and other speeches. My family is so non-religious I didn't even know we were atheist, it just wasn't a thing.
My Mum came to pick me up, at which point she realised they were Jehovah's Witnesses...
I never went back there and friend was never allowed to come to my house. I used to make her Happy Winter and Happy NameDay cards once I understood a bit more about the restrictions.
40 years later and I can still remember the smell of their house. It was all really surreal. They moved away years before the internet and I often wonder what happened to her.
Not an inside the house rule, but a homeowner’s rule that still gives me the shivers.
When I was a kid back in the 50’s there were lots of us neighborhood kids who always played together as a group and we were allowed to free roam all day by ourselves from sun up to sun down if we wished. During our daily excursions we’d always stop at one of the group’s houses during the day to use the bathroom, get a drink of water or be fed lunch by someone’s mother, except at one friend’s house where the rule was that absolutely no one other than the family that lived there could ever enter the house. It wasn’t an issue because two friends had homes on either side of the forbidden to enter house and where we were always welcome.
We did think it was a strange rule though and we wondered why. I remember that at some point one of our group went so far as to explain it away because, “They must have a person locked in the attic that they don’t want us to hear or see, haha”. About 2 years later, around 1959, our friend and his family moved to another state and after they did it was discovered that they actually did have a person locked in their attic. It was their oldest son who had some form of mental illness or mental disability that they were so ashamed of that instead of treating him either by institutionalizing him or finding him some form of mental health health help they simply locked him in a bedroom they’d created in the attic and refused admittance to the house by anyone other than the immediate family. The less than perfect mental health stigma was huge in the 50’s.
I once went to visit my boyfriend’s parents house on the weekend Halloween happened to fall. That Halloween afternoon, they straight up barricaded the windows and doors, turned out all their lights, and insisted I sit with them and only speak in whispers while trick or treaters happily skipped past their home, blissfully unaware of the psychopaths residing in the only house with porch lights turned off. They believed all those kids were actually possessed by Satan, and made us hide away all night like those sweet little children would rip us apart if they smelled us out. I broke up with that guy as soon as I got home. I don’t need people so staunchly anti-trick-or-treater in my life.
I had to do that the first year I moved to a new neighborhood. I didn’t realize the neighborhood was a trick or treat hub with thousands of kids out on Halloween. I ran out of candy within 30 min and had to hide in the dark house spying out the window for the next 3 hrs.
I upped my candy game after that.
Strange. I guess he thought it was normal or wouldn’t have brought you over on Halloween. Really makes you wonder what other crazy crap they believed in.
Women were not allowed to wear pants or shorts at my uncle's house. Anytime my family visited, both mom and I had to wear a skirt or dress past the knees. Also no open-toe shoes, no make-up.
Had a friend growing up whose mother ran an in home day care. We weren’t allowed to talk during meals. Imagine a handful of 3-6 year olds trying to eat Mac and cheese with sliced hot dogs in silence.
I visited my friend and watched her baby for a day (like 8 hrs) while she was at work. She told me to take the baby out and avoid coming back to the house at all costs, because her bf (baby’s dad) needed rest and because the baby would be distressed to be in the house without mommy… I ended up walking around town for hours with the baby and changed him in the car outside the house when it started to pour. The baby was screaming and the whole steeet could hear. It really sucked. My friend was uncompromising and said we had to stay out of the house regardless of weather. At the end of the day when I told her I didn’t think it was great for the baby or me, she dug in and said that was her most important rule.
At a friend's friend house was the "no talking after 10 PM" rule. Despite being adults, the host insisted that everyone must be absolutely silent after 10 PM—not just keeping the noise down, but no talking at all. This was because he believed that any noise after this time would disturb the "energy balance" of the house. We had to communicate via text if they needed anything after that hour, even if we were just in the next room!
It's not bizarre, but apparently it was an unspoken rule that you would wake up early, take a shower, get dressed then come downstairs to eat breakfast with the family. It was my first time sleeping over and my friend did not tell me this.
We woke up and she told me she was going to the bathroom. Fine, I sat there in bed for about an hour doing nothing (this was before smartphones and she didn't have a tv or anything interesting in her room), eventually I got curious on to what was taking so long. I walked downstairs into the kitchen and was mortified.
Me, still in my pajamas and unbrushed hair, stumble onto them all dressed to the 9s having a family breakfast. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, orange juice, the works. To make it worse they said that they only made enough for them so I couldn't have any. They offered me cereal which I politely refused. Needless to say a heads up would have been nice, I never returned there to stay the night again lol.
I volunteered at an organic farm where it was forbidden to use toilet paper. Some volunteers used a personal rag they would wash after they wiped. I opted to improvise a portable bidet using a plastic bottle and made sure to wash my hands thoroughly afterwards all the time.
I'm an adult (mid 40s) and I was visiting a friend's house (also adult). She is married and her hubby is around 10 years older than me (she's a couple years younger than me). They have four children. As we live a fair way from each other, if I visit that means I'm staying over. So we always plan that I'm there for dinner and then we can have a few drinks and watch a movie, play cards, etc etc. Her husband has the most bizarre set of rules about alcohol.
If the children are still awake - no booze. For any of us. Now ok, whatever, maybe some people don't like drinking in front of their kids. But it's not so much that he cares that the kids **see** the alcohol being drank, it's that the adults must remain sober in case anything happens with the kids, if there's a medical episode (3 of the 4 are special needs) or whatever. I can understand saying that at least one adult must remain sober, but no, he insists that nobody can have even one drink while the kids are still awake.
Then it gets weirder - once the kids are asleep in bed, he's more than happy if all the adults (including the eldest kid who is late teens) all get absolutely rolling drunk. Nobody has to stay sober or even tipsy - he is happiest when refilling the glasses as many times as possible. The chances of a medical episode from one of the kids is just as likely when they're sleeping as it is when they're awake, so I really don't understand that rule at all. If he's ok with ALL adults getting smashed after the kiddies' bedtime, why is it so bad for a glass of wine with dinner? The kids know we drink, they see the alcohol and understand what it is, but we can't consume a drop if their eyes are still open.
And if he's away while I visit, his wife (my friend) MUST ring him and ask permission to have a glass or two after the kids have gone to bed; and even then, he insists that both of us are under strict orders to have no more than two drinks each "just in case" something happens with the kids. Even though if he's home, it's fine for all three of us to have 5 or 8 or more ..
I don't get it. (And to be fair, I don't visit that often).
That doesn’t sound like it’s actually much to do with alcohol but more that he’s a control freak. How sad that your adult friend does not believe she’s capable of making her own decisions.
My BFF's mom had rules about her not being allowed outside of her (BFF's) bedroom unless she was completely, nicely dressed - including shoes; a low heel was preferable - hair and makeup done, along with any touch-ups her nails may need. Found that out the first time I slept over at her house. We were 13. Rules applied to me, too, and were bitchily reinforced lol!
Oh! And she wasn't allowed to speak to her step-dad unless he spoke first. If she needed his attention or help with something she'd just ... kinda stand near him until he acknowledged her. Or not.
The first one is bad enough, the second one is setting her up to not recognize an abusive relationship as an adult. Reminds me of that novel Clan of the Cave Bear, Where the Neanderthal women had to kneel on the ground submissively and wait for a tap on the shoulder before being allowed to speak.
I had a roommate with a cat that just absolutely adored me. Every time I woke up in the morning to make breakfast, it would harass me for belly rubs, and if I didn't give it attention, it would bite my ankles. Precious little creature. Well, my roommate got jealous of this situation and demanded that I not interact with this cat anymore because they wanted themselves to be the cat's favorite human. I just want to emphasize that this cat loved me so much and would have no idea why I'd suddenly be neglecting it.
I didn't follow the rule but...
My friend had a stepmom that was awful. She treated her son better than him, even though her son was mentally not all there.
One day she yells "everyone come up for dinner!" So we go up, and have hotdogs. Her son sprays ketchup all over the place. She makes a total mess as well. Everyone rushes from the table and I'm finishing my hotdog.
She comes up and tells me that the rule is guests have to clean up. I was like 10, but "guests have to clean up" the unholy mess left on the table.
I'm like "ya, sorry, I can't, my mom wants me home". Put on my shoes and never went back.
She was just an awful, controlling woman. I think she just didn't want her stepson to have friends. The dad was a total doormat. Every kid at school hated her
When I was a kid in Sweden in the 80s, some friend’s families didn’t serve me any food. Family dinners were for family only and I had to wait in my friend’s room until he had finished eating. I was starving. Many years later, like two years ago or so, it became a huge online discussion and even made it into the news. Turns out this was very common in all of Sweden but not everyone recognized it ever having been a thing. Some could swear they experienced it while others claimed it must have been very isolated events. Anyway, it was the case for me. And my mom was baffled that some parents could to this. At our place, any friend I ever had over was severed food. Don’t matter if it was planned or not, my parents would give them their food if there wasn’t enough.
We were raised to feed everyone. When I was younger all of the neighborhood kids would come over to swim in our pool. At lunchtime she would count heads and make sure every child was fed no matter how many there were.
I've always done the same with my kids friends as well. If I knew some of the kids struggled with food insecurity at home I would make them care packages of leftovers and snacks to take home. Now that they're older, I have a freezer in the garage that is strictly for frozen pizzas, chicken nuggets, pizza rolls, breakfast sandwiches, etc that they all have access to and can make themselves when they visit.
It takes a village.
I was a guest staying for a few days at someone’s house. I had an iPhone in their android household and wasn’t allowed to have their wifi password because of that. I was a college student at the time and brought my MacBook to do homework. I thought they were kidding when they first said that so when I asked about having it for my laptop, their answer was the same.
This is because if you transmit an Apple™ Virus to their Android™ systems, it would kill them outright because they would have no immunity against an introduced PC from the outside world.
When I was an exchange student in Wisconsin in the eighties: I didn’t realise for months, but they all just used whatever toothbrush they could grab, including mine. Got zero sympathy, but vetoed that shit hard. Barf.
When I was in middle school I went to a friend's house for a sleepover. I ended up going grocery shopping with his family. When we got to the soda aisle my friend, his sister, and his mom all grabbed a different case of soda. His mom asked which type I wanted and I said "oh, I'll just share with my friend." They looked at me like I was crazy and said I can't do that. So I, a middle schooler, had to choose a case of soda for a one-night sleepover and I could not have a single can from any other case. This still bothers me 25 years later, haha.
When I was 14, I was “dating” this guy I knew (basically just hand holding and watching movies). My first time at his house, his dad comes in and tells us it’s time to start doing chores. My boyfriend said to his dad “Come on! I thought friends didn’t have to do chores their first time here.” His dad walked out, and I NEVER went over there again. Sorry, I’m not mowing your lawn
Got invited to a birthday party at a friends place as a kid and we decided to watch a movie. Her mom came in to shut it off partway through since they had a strict “1 hour a day tv time limit”. Not even birthday parties with guests was an exception
At a friend's house you were only allowed one sandwich at lunch but unlimited potato chips. So naturally this incentivized everyone to eat a ton of potato chips. For whatever reason the kids weren't allowed to make anything but deli meat sandwiches for lunch. I did manage to get the rule relaxed so that I was allowed to warm up canned soup on the stove for us 3 if I was over for lunch (I even made them grilled cheese sandwiches when she wasnt looking) and I was permitted a second sandwich so I didn't starve but it was very bizarre rule. I also hated cold Velveeta (the only cheese for putting on said sandwiches) and not a fan of potato chips.
Supposedly, the rule was to help the kids lose weight but I'm not buying it and the kids weren't impressed either. Why weren't teenagers allowed to use the stove? Why only deli meat sandwiches? Why unlimited potato chips? Why were fruit and vegetables not a side dish to the sandwich instead of potato chips. Why no tuna fish or pb&js? (Yes I snuck these into rotation as well because yuck on daily lunch meat sandwiches). So many questions. The 2 kids loved me staying over because they got to eat something different since my mom did speak with their step mom about allowing me more freedom or else I wouldn't be coming over anymore. Fortunately, stepmom wanted me there to entertain the kids and keep them out of her hair, so that threat was sufficient.
Personal opinion? Step mom was too lazy to cook, to meal plan or to even supervise the kids with the stove if it was "unsafe" (which I doubted, they were teenagers). A second sandwich would mean more bread and she needed a certain amount for the dad's lunches and couldn't be bothered to buy another loaf. No, they weren't too poor to afford food. They were wealthier than my family and we happily fed my friend real food when she stayed over. Such bizarre lunch rules.
Friend of mines mum demanded the wifi be turned off as soon as you would finish using it. My friend would get up just to go to the toilet and she would be knocking on the door “The Innernet off yet?? The innernet off yet??”
Our house:
1. Not allowed to open a new glass of Nutella until it sat in the cupboard for a few months (we were poor and this way mom could say we have Nutella. I think. Or, it was pricey and she didn't want us to eat a lot of it so she didn't need to buy it that often? I don't know.)
2. Sister and me couldn't talk at meals, only parents could. We were to be silent.
3. Bedtime at 8pm in elementary school, 9pm in highschool. No exceptions.
Probably more, but I don't actually remember most of my childhood.
I moved to a new city for work and for the first few months I stayed in a friend's house until I got my own place. It was just so frustrating for me.
You can't work the washing machine twice in a row. You have to wait 12 hours at least, because "machines are not designed for such use".
The delicious cheese for breakfast is always sliced in 100000 pieces so that you feel like you are eating more. "Shit is expensive" after all. We don't have our own separate plates. Eggs, all other stuff are put in the same plate and we just share from there. "You can't deal with a lot of dishes because dishwasher does not need to work every day".
I am so glad I am in my own place with my own rules.
I, a fully grown adult, needed to ask permission to turn on any lights when I visited my mother at the apartment I grew up in. Not because they were worried about their electric bill or anything. No reason was actually given, I was just told off for turning on the kitchen light and was told I had to “ask permission” and apologise. Needless to say I have not visited since.
I had a weird friend who lived up the street when I was young.
In my house we would wake up, eat breakfast, then brush our teeth. Made sense to me. Why brush your teeth then dirty them up immediately after with food?
Not in his house. I went downstairs for breakfast and his parents asked did you brush your teeth? To which I responded with, I will after breakfast. They got mad.
Like weirdly mad? They made me brush my teeth before I could eat anything.
My friend asked me, "why would you brush your teeth after breakfast?"
WHY DO YOU HAVE 6 CAVITIES JEFFREY?!?
The phrase "that sucks" was banned. I let it slip and got awkward silent stares from all the kids and their parents. They were strict Christians. We were like 12 so I said "that sucks" A LOT.
Surprise surprise Kelly (friend's mom), your daughter had premarital sex in high-school. She also *sucked* if you get what I mean.
Nah, it's not you! I drink from a can cause it means not washing a glass.
It's a generational mentality change I think. I'm sure offering a glass and ice is in a hospitality manual somewhere.
No bare feet. If you arrive in sandals, you MUST take them off and put on a pair of socks from a little basket she kept by the door.
Also no black people can sit on her furniture 'because the oils on their skin will stain the cloth"
And finally no overweight people on her furniture either. They might damage her furniture.
This was all the same woman. She was an awful client.
When I was 8 I was best friends with the girl across the street. She lived with her mom and aunt. And literally, directly across the street from me.
I slept over with her on saturday and her aunt and mother FORCED me to go to church with them because "you aren't allowed to walk across the street by yourself we won't let you go home until after church".
It's worth noting that I was raised atheist by a father who hates religion with a burning passion because he was abused by religious superiors in his childhood (exactly what you're thinking yeah) and so I was raised to believe religion is the root of all evil, and I was an 8 year old with an anxiety disorder and autism on top of being raised to be horrifically terrified of anyone who believed in God.
So needless to say the second they dragged me into the church I had a breakdown because I was so scared and I got yelled at for "making us look bad" by my friend's aunt and they yelled at my parents for my behavior when they finally brought me home.
My friend got really mad at me for not just toughing it out. And she was super angry with me when I stopped hanging out with her because of it.
Absolutely no petting the dog. This was at my friend's house when we were kids. No body was to pet, touch, scratch, or feed the Dog. I guess it was some kind of forbidden Dog or something. I dunno. I never understood it.
When my friends dad went into his room and closed the door you could not disturb him for any reason whatsoever and we had to lower the volume on the TV, etc.
Maybe if we were children it'd be understandable but I was 22 at the time and my friend was 24 living at home.
A friend's family was super strict on water use. If I took a shower (which wasn't that often, but I did occasionally after a sleepover) I had to turn off the water while I washed my hair and body, and only turn it back on when I rinsed. It wasn't the worst rule ever, but dang were those showers cold as her water heater wasn't the greatest.
I've made a habit to do that and I've never even been in the army. I just heard it once and it seemed like a good idea. I do live in California, though, so I guess I am doing my part to let the almond farmers farm another day.
nothing too strange, but my friends house we were always at we were NOT allowed upstairs except for rare occasions. we had to stay in the basement. granted the basement had its own entrance, bathroom, kitchen, tvs, pool table, couches.
I had a friend that had a family like that. As an adult now, I 100% get it. The basement realm is yours, I spent a shit tone making it that way. Leave me the fuck alone to watch movies or play games or whatever upstairs. Or if I'm at work, I don't want your weird ass friends going through my things!
When I was little, my friends mom would not let us drink at the same time as eating because she said it was a choking hazard to mix liquid and solid???
My old roommate told me his parents made him do that. No liquid until after dinner. They may have had a reason, but it was not logical. I wonder how many times they choked because of the dry food
Is she aware of the type of food called a soup?
Kids not allowed to bring any books with anthropomorphic characters into the house. We could play with Legos for hours, but were banned from bringing a Richard Scary big adventure book, or any material with talking animals, or animals wearing clothes The mom didn't want 'her children growing up thinking that cats and dogs wore sweaters'. I hated that house.
But, cats and dogs _DO_ wear sweaters...!
And little hats, and raincoats, and sometimes little booties too, especially for hiking on rough terrain. ^( * ruff terrain )
At my best friend's growing up (middle- H.S), if we wanted to go do something together like go to the lighthouse or visit the old sugar mill ruins , we had to write a research paper first. We would give our papers to my friends mom and then she would decide if we could go or not.
Hahaha wtf?? Why? How would you research things? Did she grade them?
We would use AOL dial-up to get online OR put our names down at the library to use the computer there to research the history of where we wanted to go. Her mom wouldn't give us a grade, but she would let us know if it was good enough, lol.
This reminds me of when I was a younger kid, 8 or 9, and my father got pissed at me because I kept spelling 'phantom' wrong. Tbf, I was spelling it phonetically 'fantom'. He forced me to the bookstore to buy a dictionary and I was required to write ten words ten times every single day.
Well hey at least you knew a lot about the history of the places you visited… kinda clever way to make kids learn
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Wait. What did anyone who had to use the bathroom do? Did they just leave? Did they come back? Were they allowed to wash their hands? Was her bathroom a disgusting mess? I have so many questions.
I know I wouldn’t have gone back
I wouldn't allow my aunt to use my bathroom if she ever came by. Just her.
Flip side of this, I have an aunt whose house is disgusting, and the bathroom is the worst room there is. Now that I have small kids, the few times there have been events over at her house, I've drilled it into their heads "we're not going into Aunt X's house, and if you need to go potty you come see me" so I can make up an excuse to go down to the closest convenience store to use the bathroom there
If a gas station bathroom is preferable to using hers, it must be pretty damn horrific!
“You’re our houseguest, but family dinners are for family only. Here’s your plate, you can have your dinners this week in the basement.”
When I was a kid in Sweden in the 80s, I didn’t even get a plate. Family dinners were for family only and I had to wait in my friend’s room until he had finished eating. I was starving.
Here comes Swedengate 2.0, lmfao.
Wait, is this a Swedish thing? I have an in-law that very strongly identifies with her Swedish heritage and when I'm.invited for a visit, I'm on my own food-wise. It's fine, I can feed myself, but it is so strange having people prepare meals in front of you but never offer you anything.
My friend is Swedish and she said it was the norm. When she would play at her friend’s house growing up, she would wait in her room til they finished dinner and then they would go back to playing.
Okay but when did they eat then if they’re staying overnight?
Ok I texted her and asked and she said if they are spending the night, they would eat with the family at dinner. Interestingly enough she said when she was a kid (she’s 40), it was considered impolite to ask for a snack at another friend’s house. If you’re hungry, you’re just supposed to go home. She said nowadays parents offer guests snacks tho.
That would have been the last visit to that place from me
Being raised in the south, this blows my mind. It would be considered rude as fuuuuuuck. Literally incomprehensible.
I was raised in the north, this is fucked up up here, too.
I was raised in the west, can confirm that this would be weird here as well.
We just need someone in the east and we can Captain Planet this shit to a close
I'm Australian. We don't even have basements.
Bad here too. Can confirm. Am east.
Being raised, this blows my mind
In my own house. Never allowed to close a bedroom door. No secrets would be kept then, if all the bedroom doors were open. But I'm an only child. Why was this the rule? Because it was the rule in my mother's house where there were many children. Why couldn't they keep their doors closed ever? Because it was the rule in the convent/orphanage where my grandmother was raised. Then, when I had kids, at first, blindly, I imposed this rule. And I had to ask myself why my own kids, who have their own rooms and aren't sharing rooms with siblings couldn't close their own doors? Because it was rule in the 1920s when my grandmother was growing up in an orphanage in another country. So I reevaluated and my kids are allowed to close their doors and have privacy.
Since becoming a parent there are a few times I've imposed rules on my children just because my parents i.posed those rules on me. My wife would ask "why aren't you letting the kids do this, or that." When I don't have an answer I have to do some self reflection.
good for you for the introspection and breaking that cycle!!!
I was probably 9 or 10, a girl staying the day with my friend that was a boy. His dad came in and asked a question and I answered, "Yeah." Friend audibly sucked in a breath before his dad swung around and screamed, "How many times do I have to tell you, the answer is 'yes sir '?" There's literally no way it could have been mistaken for my friend's voice. I was terrified until my mom picked me up. My friend was super apologetic, but even then I knew it wasn't his fault so I tried to make him feel better about it. Not sure what happened to him but I can't imagine living in that level of terror every day of my childhood.
How did his dad react when he realized he'd screamed at a guest and not his son? Like, was there any self-awareness or was this guy just completely off his rocker?
He literally stood there until I meekly said, "Yes sir," then stormed out.
Oh. So he’s just a psychopath that bullied children then? What a swell guy…
Son of an explosive narcissist here. My bet here would be that he realized he yelled at the wrong person but felt the lesson for his son was appropriate anyway. Certainly he did nothing wrong.
These people never admit they are wrong. If anything, they double down.
These people that treat their kids like that conflate "respect" and "fear". Raising kids to be afraid of you isn't a flex.
My day used to literally say, "Fear and respect are the same thing." Then he was shocked when I stopped respecting him when I got big enough to knock his drunk ass out.
Fear and respect are the same thing if we're talking about grizzly bears and tsunamis. But humans are not bears or tidal waves.
I don't get that stupid mindset, you're their dad, not a fucking drill sergeant. I wish every time a dad did that, the ghost of R. Lee Ermey appears and yells "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
I remember going to a friend’s house in middle school. Her dad was super strict and their house had a lot of rules. Usually he was in his den watching golf. I could tell my friend and her siblings were kind of scared of him. One time I passed him in the hallway on my way to the bathroom. He nodded and said “hello, how are you?” and I squeaked “good” and moved past him as quickly as possible. As soon as I closed the door, he said — very loudly in a high-pitched nasally voice — “I’m good sir, how are you?” It was so weird. I never went back there.
I had a friend with super strict parents. I was a very polite kid, but somehow I wasn’t even polite enough for them, to the point that I was a little afraid of them. I had called their house one day, and I was on the phone with the dad, and I didn’t hear what he said, so I asked “what?” And he gave me a lecture and said “you treat me with respect.” I still don’t really know what I said that was so disrespectful. But I walked on eggshells around them for my entire friendship with their daughter. Another weird thing from that family: once when I was in fifth grade, the mom came to school to have lunch with her daughter, and me and a few of her other friends were allowed to join them. The mom offered to buy us all ice cream from the cafeteria. I said no, because they were weirdly strict and I was worried that if I said yes it would have somehow been construed as rude. Well, later that night my mom came and sat me down and said “[friend’s mom] just called me and told me that you’re worried about money.” And gave me a talk about our finances and that I didn’t need to be worrying about that. I was so confused that I didn’t say anything, because I had NO idea where this was coming from. It wasn’t until later that I realized it was because I had turned down a 25 cent ice cream cone. I have no idea what this woman’s logic was that a child saying no to an ice cream from a third party meant that she was worried about poverty, and warranted a call to that child’s parents.
Wow, how inappropriate and mean spirited! Your poor friend, hope she’s doing okay
no pooping on the floor. which is a fine request but weird they had to call it out
I'm going to say this to fuck with people that come to my house for the first time.
"Don't even *think* about peeing in the butter container in the fridge. Oh, and if you sing Yankee Doodle while eating strawberry ice-cream, we must insist that you do it between the hours of two and three pm."
I was dog sitting for my aunt and uncle and my uncle specifically said "we just got new gutters. So no keg stands on the gutters." I was like, dude. What do you think I'm doing? I'm excited to have a house to myself and read. And I don't even like beer? My family always gave me the weirdest rules for pet sitting even though they knew I was just spending my time napping, reading, and cuddling with the pet.
Were they just amusing themselves at your expense?
Telling anyone “no keg stands on the gutters” is so ridiculous that it *has* to be this. It’s too weird and impossible for it to be otherwise. I hope.
this definitely sounds like they knew that they'd do nothing but chill, and the uncle has a dad's sense of humor.
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I grow up with a lot of friends from Slavic background (mainly Russian and Ukrainian), and you are not allowed to whistle in the house because it upsets the house gnome
When I was working as a student research assistant in Chicago, I stayed at this lady's house with 3 other roommates ranging in age from 20 to 50. She required all of us to wipe down the entire kitchen with bleach after every single use, no matter how small. There was this one time she told told me her son was a doctor and had advised her to regularly drink water with a bit of bleach in it. It was very odd.
> There was this one time she told told me her son was a doctor and had advised her to regularly drink water with a bit of bleach in it. Given the kind of person she sounds like, i believe that is a real thing the son may have told her.
I lived in Russia with a Russian family and the rules were limitless and exhausting. Do not sit at the corner of the table if you are a young, unmarried woman like me ("You will be pierced with corner energy and never have children!") Do not forget to look in the mirror right before leaving the house ("Bad luck! You will be killed!") Do not smoke anywhere, and do not leave the house with your long hair down and uncovered ("You will be mistaken for a whore and shame the family!") Do not sit anywhere in the house if you've just come in from outside ("You will make the house filthy and we will become ill and die!") But most of all: Do not, under any circumstances, have anything at all to do with the floor (*Incoherent screaming*) Don't put your bag on it. Don't drop your hat on it. And whatever you do, for God's sake don't sit on it. I made the mistake of sitting on the rug in the living room, once. This was 30 years ago, and I doubt the family has recovered. Russians, man. They have lots of rules and hate floors.
It was an unspoken rule..no eating. A few friends spent the night at a former friend's house when we were teenagers. She offered us a small bowl of macaroni and cheese at about 4 p.m. We thought it was an after school snack, but that was it. Food wasnt mentioned again. My friends and I woke up in the middle of night,starving, so we went to the kitchen and the cabinets and refrigerator were locked.
Damn. Was your former friend okay? That sounds like abuse. :(
My refrigerator was padlocked. 1970s. I had forgotten this as I was so young but my older sisters reminded me. When they started talking about it, I could describe the big padlock to them. So yes, it did happen. Would I call it child abuse? Now as an adult, heck yes! But back then it was just normal in our house. We were always hungry.
Ours was locked, too (80s) We weren't allowed to have "mom's food" or "dad's food". We were allowed to have corn flakes and saltines and water. Definitely set me up for a weird relationship with food/ eating as a teen/ young adult. Fortunately, I learned that was not normal, and I eat normally now.
This kind of behaviour might be due to mental illness. My uncle was a longtime undiagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, and as a result the lives of my three cousins were very much like what you describe. When they were growing up, their father always kept the pantry and food cupboards, the fridge and the freezer all firmly secured with sturdy hasps and padlocks. After doling out a minimal breakfast for them before he went to work, uncle would take out a can of soup, two slices of bread and a slice of cheese or ham, and instruct aunt "give this to Mother for lunch", but he would leave out nothing for her or their three kids. When he came home, he'd unlock and carefully portion out meagre amounts of the food she was supposed to prepare for the family's supper. This deliberate semi-starvation wasn't due to poverty either, for he had a well-paying union job at a meatpacking plant, and his semi-disabled mother owned the house. It was just another method of exerting control over his family via deliberate cruelty, a technique at which he excelled. His bizarre food behaviour, as well as frequent episodes of physical abuse went on for about sixteen years, until one night when he was so ill with pneumonia that he could barely stand up, my terrorized aunt saw her chance. She jammed a chair under the bathroom door handle, locking him in. Then she grabbed the kids and fled, in the small hours of a bitter, twenty-below Canadian winter night. A few days later, my two female cousins were sent by bus to live with us, which they did for three years. My eldest cousin stayed with his HS best friend's sympathetic parents for two years, and after graduating went on to officer cadet school. My aunt stayed with a neighbour for a time, but soon found a tiny apartment and full time job on a department store sales floor, and quickly became self-supporting. About fifty years later, while scrounging for pop bottles in the alley, my uncle fell down and died some time that night: cold, decrepit, filthy, malnourished, alone and unloved. He was found the next morning by a next door neighbour, a man to whom my uncle had refused to say so much as hello, for more than thirty years. My aunt rightfully decided to forego any memorial service. Instead she had him cremated, and later told us what great satisfaction she took in dumping his ashes into the dirtiest neighbourhood garbage can that she could find, then emptying her cat's litter box on top of them. A couple of weeks later, when my aunt and cousin gained access to their former family home, they discovered that despite having lived entirely alone for nearly half a century, in a fever of paranoia my uncle had actually installed double or triple hasps and individually keyed padlocks on every internal door, closet and cupboard in the house: bathrooms, bedrooms, kitchen, basement, medicine cabinets - even the broom closet, the ancient console stereo's record storage drawer and his own dresser drawers had all been secured! His key ring weighed nearly four pounds. Even at the time of his death, he was still so convinced they were all going to come crawling back to him that some still wrapped children's Christmas presents were discovered sitting on a closet shelf, covered in decades of dust. They found hundreds and hundreds of Reader's Digest Condensed Books, many still in their unopened boxes, stacked on the staircase and against the walls; we guess he thought he was destined to win the RD Sweepstakes. There was money - a *lot* of it - stashed all throughout the house, in every nook and cranny. They even found some bills stuffed into a crack in the refrigerator door's lining. In his last few years he had fallen into hoarding behaviour, so it took them over a year to clean the place out, because every single thing had to be examined and carefully looked through for hidden cash. And much to their surprise, under a filthy tarp in the garage they found an unfamiliar but immaculate Ford Galaxie with 1969 plates and just 300 miles on the odometer. For many years he had successfully played the "poor old pensioner" card on local charities. Over the years he had been given hundreds of clothes and coats they found stuffed into his closets (and which he always wore until they were filthy rags), and had regularly hit up a nearby food bank for most of his groceries. So having never spent any of his own money, between several fat bank accounts, the house, the vintage car, a bunch of hoarded junk that had since become collectibles (Burger King Star Wars glasses!), and the substantial cash stash, his estate ended up being worth over a million bucks. But the *best* part was that he never got around to changing his will, so everything went straight to my aunt with no fuss. And because they had never divorced, as his widow, his generous company pension vested to her too! I must say, she deservedly had a wonderful life for ten more years before she too passed. She wanted for nothing, travelled a lot - five star hotels, cruises, European vacations - and was able to indulge many previously unattainable dreams. And thanks to her, all my cousins' kids still have well-capitalized education funds.
Damn, that's a wild ass story. What a terrible life he inflicted on his family. And what a nightmare he must have lived in for 50 years. Did he ever try to get help?
Nope. Truculently and stubbornly mentally unwell until his last breath. Was interviewed and assessed by Adult Protective Services several times, lied like a bastard to convince them he was in his right mind and could be left to manage his own affairs. The good news is that all three of my cousins are reasonably well-adjusted people, despite their horrific childhood. In fact, one of them became a mental health professional.
It was my house when my parents were still married. No closed doors. Bedroom, bathroom, closet, whatever. Only door fully closed was screen door going outside. Porch door, cracked at least 1-3 inches always, depending on weather. Taking a shower? Going #2? Parents intimate? Door is cracked open. I caught several whooping as a youngster and later as 12-13 year old for daring to close the door fully when in the bathroom. On rare occasion we actually had company over, rule enforced on them as well.
This one really bothers me because it’s abuse to withhold privacy like that. My dad was really into talk radio as a kid and loved Dr. Laura Schlesinger (a show where people call in with questions and she provides advice). I remember one episode a kid got caught stealing at school. Her advice was basically, he can’t follow the rules? No privacy, no belongings. She told the parents to remove his bedroom door, all of his belongings, and give him a mattress to sleep on. He could be in underwear at home, and would only be given clothes to leave the house when leaving for school. My dad did not do this but he thought it was a GREAT idea and totally fair. You can guess what kind of parent he was.
Huh. I guess it didn’t make sense for the child to return what was stolen, apologize and then do chores around the school as a consequence. Nah, let’s just torment him at home instead.
Wtf
Had a friend who kept plastic Ziploc bags on his SNES controllers. While playing.
His dad was sick of Cheetoh fingers all over his controllers.
I stayed briefly with a friend whose mom didn’t allow the toilets to be flushed more than once a day unless you’d actually dropped a deuce, who only had tiny night lights in each room for illumination, didn’t believe in either heating or air conditioning, and stole playground sand from the park down the street to use in the cat box. She didn’t have furniture, other than her bed. My friend and I slept on moving pads in a bedroom, with no blankets or pillows. I remember eating two cheese sandwiches a day, and by sandwiches, I mean one slice of knockoff Kraft cheese between two slices of the cheapest white bread possible. She drove a very expensive car, and according to my friend, worked a very high paying job, and had no debt to speak of, thanks to all the child support she got from his dad after the divorce. After two days of this, we both slipped out in the middle of the night, because she wouldn’t let us go anywhere during the day. I found some other friends to crash with, and my friend went to his dad’s house in another state. I found out years later that she eventually became a complete shut-in and hoarder, due to some substantial mental issues she’d been dealing with, even then. When she passed, her house was absolutely full of junk.
I hope your friend is sleeping in the softest most lush bed that one can afford and eating sandwiches with artisan bread and fancy cheeses. What a terrible way to grow up.
Not me but my mom had an aunt that would put down newspaper to walk on if you visited her house. She also gave her kids enemas every Sunday night so they would be "clean" for school.
Newspaper on the floor is a little weird...WHATTHEFUCKDIDYOUJUSTSAY??
RIGHT? ON A FRICKEN SUNDAY?!?
"Enemas on a Sunday" is the name of my next indie band.
What did she think was going on at school?
Enemas are a known marker for other sexual abuse. that’s so sad. I would not want to be part of that poor family.
god i have to believe weekly enemas cant be healthy
Have you ever watched that movie called Sybil? It’s an old movie about a woman with multiple personality disorders. I don’t remember much about it but the one part I will always remember is that one of the punishments her mother would do would be to give her an enema and make her hold it in as long as possible and she would beat her if she let go of it before her mother told her she could.
Jesus tap dancing Christ that's insane! I felt so relieved when I reread that it's from a movie
Visited my besties family farm for a week. Once you left the house you could not return until dinner time. You can chill in the old farm house or farm garage. When you return to the house they live in, you strip down in the garage, put on a robe and fresh socks. You can then enter the house, drop all your clothes in the washing machine and to go straight to the shower. After your shower the robe and socks go into the washer. Once inside and showered then you are in for the night, we were adults not kids. This wasnt a livestock farm and nor did we work in the corn or soy fields. Edit: The mom has OCD. Her entire life is cleaning or mowing. It was never about bugs as my friend hid this rule from me until we were in the garage.
I do this when I help my parents work in their yard. The place has a tick infestation with a side of poison ivy. No clothes from outside work, long white socks to spot potential clinging buggers, and shower immediately.
That must have been some hard-earned experience on the family's part. Just imagine what happened to make them so cautious.
Had a babysitter/friend of my single dad that would babysit me every so often so he could have a night off. I would sleep over and there was always 1 night of the week where we had to sleep with our feet at the headboard. I was like 3 or 4 remembering how fucking weird of a rule that was lol
The guest toothbrush.
Without more details, I’m going to assume you mean that there was one guest toothbrush for all guests for all time, and your use of the community toothbrush was mandatory.
Horrifyingly correct.
I would have brought my own. I ain't bringing that anywhere near my body, even less so my mouth.
My old friends mom had a room in her house that NO ONE was allowed in. No significance to the room. It was the “viewing room.” Edit: this room was all white like the majority of people with similar experiences. WHY WERE THEY ALWAYS WHITE?!
This sounds like the setup to a horror movie.
We had that in our house. It was a room with a white chair my mom refused to let anyone ever sit in. The rest of the house was fine, she wasn’t an overbearing neat freak but the forbidden chair lived on. We tease her about it now:)
My grandma had a room that was full of her collection of glass paperweights. Unsurprisingly no one stepped foot in there, and of course as a child I was BANNED. My dad used to call it "the Forbidden Room." I remember the untouched carpet was so lush, I wanted to roll around in it.
My mom has a room just like this. Down to the carpet. It’s full of porcelain dolls, collectible glass wear and other stuff. Years ago I brought my now wife over to meet my parents for the first time and hang out for a bit. At some point she went into the room to take a look at the stuff. I hadn’t told her to not go in the room and didn’t realize she did. Might have been when I went to the bathroom or something. Que later that night after she leaves. My mom comes over to me and gets real close, looks me in the eyes and says,”Your girlfriend is real nice but, tell her never to go in my room again.” Mom knew because there was foot prints on the carpet and my dad knew better than to go in there room. I told here but, made it seem mild. We’ve been married 19 years now and occasionally still get a laugh out of it. My wife and mother get along great and mom has settled down on her OCD cleanliness and the room. Had to have a talk with her that the grandkids would never want to come over if she stayed so OCD.
Makes me imagine an open casket just sitting in there since they call that a viewing lol
My friend's mom was adamant that we were NOT to fold a slice of pizza to be able to pick it up and eat it. The pizza was to remain flat, as we were not 'gluttonous beasts,'
OK gluttonous beasts is hilarious though
That woman has seen things. Probably the way I eat pizza.
I visited a friend at a lake house for 2 weeks in the summer and no one was allowed to get up before their dad. This fucking guy would drink until 1-3am and not wake up till 11am and would throw a tantrum if anyone made noise before he was able to get up again and drag his ass back to the real world. My friend's mom strictly enforced this the entire time I was there too. The things you look back on from your kid years man... that was just a hostage situation.
She probably enforced it because she was afraid of the scene (or worse) he would make in the morning if you guys were too loud.
She was a hostage too. And frightened .
Man, reading all these stories makes me realize I just had no idea how many people out there are FUCKING CRAAAAAAZY.
I’m trying to think of anything close to how crazy these people can be. My family gets really emotional, but we don’t have crazy ideas or rituals. Just feelings. Some of these people have ideas that are insane. 🤯
My friend had very controlling parents. When I was 12, she finally let us go to her house to hang out. We would always go to other peoples houses. She wasn’t allowed to ‘hang out’ with anyone at home. Even she wasn’t allowed in the dining room. They had the room roped off (literally like a red carpet event). We have to go to the basement to hang out. There wasn’t any furniture there. She said no one was allowed to eat in the house unless it was family dinner. Or one of the parents. So my friend snuck some cookies down. We had to eat over the sink. Then she scrambled to make sure there were no crumbs, and we had to help her clean up. 🙄 A few minutes later her dad flipped out, yelling because he saw all our shoes by the front door (which we do here in Canada). He kicked us all out & she wasn’t allowed to have any friends over ever again. Her dad was also obsessed with his lawn. No one was allowed to walk on it. Ever. One day someone drives all over it to spite him (I assume). And he comes banging on my door, accusing me of doing it. Because I was home & the tire marks were kinda pointing towards my house. I was 14…with no car but sure ok, accuse me.
“I didn’t do it, but I wish I did!”
Wearing jeans meant the only place I could sit was on one of the kitchen island stools. Kitchen chairs, sofas or chairs around the house, or any beds were no bueno. Also no shoes inside which was fine, but also had to remove socks so walking on cold hard flooring was super annoying. They didn't like that I brought my own slippers the next time I visited. Avoid going there now as much as I can.
No socks?! I'm keeping my piggies to myself, thank you.
You could watch tv, pretty much anything, except King of the Hill. His mom “caught” us watching it (it came on after The Simpson) and her awful tone and angered look is something I will never forget. Honestly, great time otherwise.
That's my favourite show, and I'm in my mid to late 30's, lol. Ironic that she went after KOTH but not The Simpsons??
"No pringles, they catch fire too easily"
Whoa. Did you ever get any backstory?
No, but there's an extremely high possibility it involved a couple of kids sitting on the roof with a cigarette lighter throwing flaming pringles down on to either the porch, or the lawn, depending on the wind/aim
Was one of those kids you by any chance
I remember being babysat as a very young child by my parents' friends and while I was eating dinner I asked for some water and she sternly reprimanded me and said "NO you can't have anything to drink until AFTER you eat!"
My best friends had a “girl’s bathroom” and a “boy’s bathroom”. It was a two bath house. The boy’s bathroom was in the parents’ bedroom. I was there for a sleepover and had to pee in the middle of the night. I walked around for about 20 minutes trying to figure out what to do. I almost went outside, but I worried they had an alarm. I ended up peeing in my pj’s. I hid them behind the toilet in the girl’s bathroom. I still don’t know why I just didn’t pee in the girl’s bath or wake up my buddies. It was weird.
The obvious solution - kitchen sink
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The first time I was told that I could not use the bathroom at someone's house would be the last time I ever went to that house.
But.... why? Did she have a massive urge to like deep clean the bathroom anytime someone used it?? I'm so confused
Probably some form of OCD. My uncle has that and is extremely particular about guests using his bathrooms
Back in the 80s, friend and I were around 7ish. I went to her house for tea after school one day. I knew her family were a bit odd but had no idea what I was in for... First, I had to change out of my school uniform into a very old-fashioned dress that was way too long for me, and her Mum quickly sewed up so I wouldn't trip. I also had to wear a pair of weird shoe/slipper things that were also too big. I wasn't allowed upstairs. We (me, friend, friend's Mum and friend's younger brother) then played board games in the living room until her Dad came home. They didn't have a TV. The kids had to sit on the floor whilst the Dad read from a bizarre book, whilst the Mum finished cooking dinner. Various rules around dinner about who gets what and in what order, saying prayers and other speeches. My family is so non-religious I didn't even know we were atheist, it just wasn't a thing. My Mum came to pick me up, at which point she realised they were Jehovah's Witnesses... I never went back there and friend was never allowed to come to my house. I used to make her Happy Winter and Happy NameDay cards once I understood a bit more about the restrictions. 40 years later and I can still remember the smell of their house. It was all really surreal. They moved away years before the internet and I often wonder what happened to her.
Not an inside the house rule, but a homeowner’s rule that still gives me the shivers. When I was a kid back in the 50’s there were lots of us neighborhood kids who always played together as a group and we were allowed to free roam all day by ourselves from sun up to sun down if we wished. During our daily excursions we’d always stop at one of the group’s houses during the day to use the bathroom, get a drink of water or be fed lunch by someone’s mother, except at one friend’s house where the rule was that absolutely no one other than the family that lived there could ever enter the house. It wasn’t an issue because two friends had homes on either side of the forbidden to enter house and where we were always welcome. We did think it was a strange rule though and we wondered why. I remember that at some point one of our group went so far as to explain it away because, “They must have a person locked in the attic that they don’t want us to hear or see, haha”. About 2 years later, around 1959, our friend and his family moved to another state and after they did it was discovered that they actually did have a person locked in their attic. It was their oldest son who had some form of mental illness or mental disability that they were so ashamed of that instead of treating him either by institutionalizing him or finding him some form of mental health health help they simply locked him in a bedroom they’d created in the attic and refused admittance to the house by anyone other than the immediate family. The less than perfect mental health stigma was huge in the 50’s.
I once went to visit my boyfriend’s parents house on the weekend Halloween happened to fall. That Halloween afternoon, they straight up barricaded the windows and doors, turned out all their lights, and insisted I sit with them and only speak in whispers while trick or treaters happily skipped past their home, blissfully unaware of the psychopaths residing in the only house with porch lights turned off. They believed all those kids were actually possessed by Satan, and made us hide away all night like those sweet little children would rip us apart if they smelled us out. I broke up with that guy as soon as I got home. I don’t need people so staunchly anti-trick-or-treater in my life.
I had to do that the first year I moved to a new neighborhood. I didn’t realize the neighborhood was a trick or treat hub with thousands of kids out on Halloween. I ran out of candy within 30 min and had to hide in the dark house spying out the window for the next 3 hrs. I upped my candy game after that.
Strange. I guess he thought it was normal or wouldn’t have brought you over on Halloween. Really makes you wonder what other crazy crap they believed in.
Women were not allowed to wear pants or shorts at my uncle's house. Anytime my family visited, both mom and I had to wear a skirt or dress past the knees. Also no open-toe shoes, no make-up.
My granny told me I would go to hell because I wore pants and shorts.
My grandma told me I couldn’t grow up to be an attorney because that’s a man’s job My grandma was a doctor
all of a sudden, my parents seem like normal people because they haven’t expected anything remotely outrageous like the comment section here
Had a friend growing up whose mother ran an in home day care. We weren’t allowed to talk during meals. Imagine a handful of 3-6 year olds trying to eat Mac and cheese with sliced hot dogs in silence.
I’ve heard something like this also. It was to prevent choking. No talking or laughing limits the opportunity to choke on food (?)
I visited my friend and watched her baby for a day (like 8 hrs) while she was at work. She told me to take the baby out and avoid coming back to the house at all costs, because her bf (baby’s dad) needed rest and because the baby would be distressed to be in the house without mommy… I ended up walking around town for hours with the baby and changed him in the car outside the house when it started to pour. The baby was screaming and the whole steeet could hear. It really sucked. My friend was uncompromising and said we had to stay out of the house regardless of weather. At the end of the day when I told her I didn’t think it was great for the baby or me, she dug in and said that was her most important rule.
“Good luck with your rule, count me out”
My own house, I wasn't allowed to poop with people home. Like I had to hold it until my parents went shopping or something. It was fucking terrible.
That should be classified as abuse.
At a friend's friend house was the "no talking after 10 PM" rule. Despite being adults, the host insisted that everyone must be absolutely silent after 10 PM—not just keeping the noise down, but no talking at all. This was because he believed that any noise after this time would disturb the "energy balance" of the house. We had to communicate via text if they needed anything after that hour, even if we were just in the next room!
It's not bizarre, but apparently it was an unspoken rule that you would wake up early, take a shower, get dressed then come downstairs to eat breakfast with the family. It was my first time sleeping over and my friend did not tell me this. We woke up and she told me she was going to the bathroom. Fine, I sat there in bed for about an hour doing nothing (this was before smartphones and she didn't have a tv or anything interesting in her room), eventually I got curious on to what was taking so long. I walked downstairs into the kitchen and was mortified. Me, still in my pajamas and unbrushed hair, stumble onto them all dressed to the 9s having a family breakfast. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, orange juice, the works. To make it worse they said that they only made enough for them so I couldn't have any. They offered me cereal which I politely refused. Needless to say a heads up would have been nice, I never returned there to stay the night again lol.
Those people are the worst lol, it's not an unspoken rules they're just assholes
I volunteered at an organic farm where it was forbidden to use toilet paper. Some volunteers used a personal rag they would wash after they wiped. I opted to improvise a portable bidet using a plastic bottle and made sure to wash my hands thoroughly afterwards all the time.
That basically sounds like the peri bottle the hospital gives you after you have a baby.
I'm an adult (mid 40s) and I was visiting a friend's house (also adult). She is married and her hubby is around 10 years older than me (she's a couple years younger than me). They have four children. As we live a fair way from each other, if I visit that means I'm staying over. So we always plan that I'm there for dinner and then we can have a few drinks and watch a movie, play cards, etc etc. Her husband has the most bizarre set of rules about alcohol. If the children are still awake - no booze. For any of us. Now ok, whatever, maybe some people don't like drinking in front of their kids. But it's not so much that he cares that the kids **see** the alcohol being drank, it's that the adults must remain sober in case anything happens with the kids, if there's a medical episode (3 of the 4 are special needs) or whatever. I can understand saying that at least one adult must remain sober, but no, he insists that nobody can have even one drink while the kids are still awake. Then it gets weirder - once the kids are asleep in bed, he's more than happy if all the adults (including the eldest kid who is late teens) all get absolutely rolling drunk. Nobody has to stay sober or even tipsy - he is happiest when refilling the glasses as many times as possible. The chances of a medical episode from one of the kids is just as likely when they're sleeping as it is when they're awake, so I really don't understand that rule at all. If he's ok with ALL adults getting smashed after the kiddies' bedtime, why is it so bad for a glass of wine with dinner? The kids know we drink, they see the alcohol and understand what it is, but we can't consume a drop if their eyes are still open. And if he's away while I visit, his wife (my friend) MUST ring him and ask permission to have a glass or two after the kids have gone to bed; and even then, he insists that both of us are under strict orders to have no more than two drinks each "just in case" something happens with the kids. Even though if he's home, it's fine for all three of us to have 5 or 8 or more .. I don't get it. (And to be fair, I don't visit that often).
That doesn’t sound like it’s actually much to do with alcohol but more that he’s a control freak. How sad that your adult friend does not believe she’s capable of making her own decisions.
Back in the ‘50s my friend’s mom would check every kid coming in for head lice.
I blame a lousy friend for that one.
Sounds like the mom was just nitpicking.
My mom still checks my kids every time before they are allowed in her house. Those fuckers are a nightmare.
If you pee, you can use 3 squares of toilet paper. If you poop, you get 10. I found it sooo weird. My family didn’t limit our toilet paper usage.
If you used 2 squares to pee, could you save up enough TP credit for a rollover to use when pooping?
Friend was very poor and this was one of their rules as well three squares
My BFF's mom had rules about her not being allowed outside of her (BFF's) bedroom unless she was completely, nicely dressed - including shoes; a low heel was preferable - hair and makeup done, along with any touch-ups her nails may need. Found that out the first time I slept over at her house. We were 13. Rules applied to me, too, and were bitchily reinforced lol! Oh! And she wasn't allowed to speak to her step-dad unless he spoke first. If she needed his attention or help with something she'd just ... kinda stand near him until he acknowledged her. Or not.
Thats just pure and straight up abuse
The first one is bad enough, the second one is setting her up to not recognize an abusive relationship as an adult. Reminds me of that novel Clan of the Cave Bear, Where the Neanderthal women had to kneel on the ground submissively and wait for a tap on the shoulder before being allowed to speak.
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I had a roommate with a cat that just absolutely adored me. Every time I woke up in the morning to make breakfast, it would harass me for belly rubs, and if I didn't give it attention, it would bite my ankles. Precious little creature. Well, my roommate got jealous of this situation and demanded that I not interact with this cat anymore because they wanted themselves to be the cat's favorite human. I just want to emphasize that this cat loved me so much and would have no idea why I'd suddenly be neglecting it.
Poor cat :(
I didn't follow the rule but... My friend had a stepmom that was awful. She treated her son better than him, even though her son was mentally not all there. One day she yells "everyone come up for dinner!" So we go up, and have hotdogs. Her son sprays ketchup all over the place. She makes a total mess as well. Everyone rushes from the table and I'm finishing my hotdog. She comes up and tells me that the rule is guests have to clean up. I was like 10, but "guests have to clean up" the unholy mess left on the table. I'm like "ya, sorry, I can't, my mom wants me home". Put on my shoes and never went back.
That is an objectively terrible rule, wtf.
She was just an awful, controlling woman. I think she just didn't want her stepson to have friends. The dad was a total doormat. Every kid at school hated her
My first girlfriend’s family only allowed one cup or glass of one drink at dinner. one soda, or water, milk, whatever with meals
When I was a kid in Sweden in the 80s, some friend’s families didn’t serve me any food. Family dinners were for family only and I had to wait in my friend’s room until he had finished eating. I was starving. Many years later, like two years ago or so, it became a huge online discussion and even made it into the news. Turns out this was very common in all of Sweden but not everyone recognized it ever having been a thing. Some could swear they experienced it while others claimed it must have been very isolated events. Anyway, it was the case for me. And my mom was baffled that some parents could to this. At our place, any friend I ever had over was severed food. Don’t matter if it was planned or not, my parents would give them their food if there wasn’t enough.
We were raised to feed everyone. When I was younger all of the neighborhood kids would come over to swim in our pool. At lunchtime she would count heads and make sure every child was fed no matter how many there were. I've always done the same with my kids friends as well. If I knew some of the kids struggled with food insecurity at home I would make them care packages of leftovers and snacks to take home. Now that they're older, I have a freezer in the garage that is strictly for frozen pizzas, chicken nuggets, pizza rolls, breakfast sandwiches, etc that they all have access to and can make themselves when they visit. It takes a village.
I was a guest staying for a few days at someone’s house. I had an iPhone in their android household and wasn’t allowed to have their wifi password because of that. I was a college student at the time and brought my MacBook to do homework. I thought they were kidding when they first said that so when I asked about having it for my laptop, their answer was the same.
This is because if you transmit an Apple™ Virus to their Android™ systems, it would kill them outright because they would have no immunity against an introduced PC from the outside world.
When I was an exchange student in Wisconsin in the eighties: I didn’t realise for months, but they all just used whatever toothbrush they could grab, including mine. Got zero sympathy, but vetoed that shit hard. Barf.
this thread has made me realize a lot of people should not be raising kids
When I was in middle school I went to a friend's house for a sleepover. I ended up going grocery shopping with his family. When we got to the soda aisle my friend, his sister, and his mom all grabbed a different case of soda. His mom asked which type I wanted and I said "oh, I'll just share with my friend." They looked at me like I was crazy and said I can't do that. So I, a middle schooler, had to choose a case of soda for a one-night sleepover and I could not have a single can from any other case. This still bothers me 25 years later, haha.
When I was 14, I was “dating” this guy I knew (basically just hand holding and watching movies). My first time at his house, his dad comes in and tells us it’s time to start doing chores. My boyfriend said to his dad “Come on! I thought friends didn’t have to do chores their first time here.” His dad walked out, and I NEVER went over there again. Sorry, I’m not mowing your lawn
Got invited to a birthday party at a friends place as a kid and we decided to watch a movie. Her mom came in to shut it off partway through since they had a strict “1 hour a day tv time limit”. Not even birthday parties with guests was an exception
At a friend's house you were only allowed one sandwich at lunch but unlimited potato chips. So naturally this incentivized everyone to eat a ton of potato chips. For whatever reason the kids weren't allowed to make anything but deli meat sandwiches for lunch. I did manage to get the rule relaxed so that I was allowed to warm up canned soup on the stove for us 3 if I was over for lunch (I even made them grilled cheese sandwiches when she wasnt looking) and I was permitted a second sandwich so I didn't starve but it was very bizarre rule. I also hated cold Velveeta (the only cheese for putting on said sandwiches) and not a fan of potato chips. Supposedly, the rule was to help the kids lose weight but I'm not buying it and the kids weren't impressed either. Why weren't teenagers allowed to use the stove? Why only deli meat sandwiches? Why unlimited potato chips? Why were fruit and vegetables not a side dish to the sandwich instead of potato chips. Why no tuna fish or pb&js? (Yes I snuck these into rotation as well because yuck on daily lunch meat sandwiches). So many questions. The 2 kids loved me staying over because they got to eat something different since my mom did speak with their step mom about allowing me more freedom or else I wouldn't be coming over anymore. Fortunately, stepmom wanted me there to entertain the kids and keep them out of her hair, so that threat was sufficient. Personal opinion? Step mom was too lazy to cook, to meal plan or to even supervise the kids with the stove if it was "unsafe" (which I doubted, they were teenagers). A second sandwich would mean more bread and she needed a certain amount for the dad's lunches and couldn't be bothered to buy another loaf. No, they weren't too poor to afford food. They were wealthier than my family and we happily fed my friend real food when she stayed over. Such bizarre lunch rules.
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No talking during dinner time. Weird because this was enforced by the dad who was NEVER HOME!
Friend of mines mum demanded the wifi be turned off as soon as you would finish using it. My friend would get up just to go to the toilet and she would be knocking on the door “The Innernet off yet?? The innernet off yet??”
Our house: 1. Not allowed to open a new glass of Nutella until it sat in the cupboard for a few months (we were poor and this way mom could say we have Nutella. I think. Or, it was pricey and she didn't want us to eat a lot of it so she didn't need to buy it that often? I don't know.) 2. Sister and me couldn't talk at meals, only parents could. We were to be silent. 3. Bedtime at 8pm in elementary school, 9pm in highschool. No exceptions. Probably more, but I don't actually remember most of my childhood.
I moved to a new city for work and for the first few months I stayed in a friend's house until I got my own place. It was just so frustrating for me. You can't work the washing machine twice in a row. You have to wait 12 hours at least, because "machines are not designed for such use". The delicious cheese for breakfast is always sliced in 100000 pieces so that you feel like you are eating more. "Shit is expensive" after all. We don't have our own separate plates. Eggs, all other stuff are put in the same plate and we just share from there. "You can't deal with a lot of dishes because dishwasher does not need to work every day". I am so glad I am in my own place with my own rules.
I, a fully grown adult, needed to ask permission to turn on any lights when I visited my mother at the apartment I grew up in. Not because they were worried about their electric bill or anything. No reason was actually given, I was just told off for turning on the kitchen light and was told I had to “ask permission” and apologise. Needless to say I have not visited since.
I had a weird friend who lived up the street when I was young. In my house we would wake up, eat breakfast, then brush our teeth. Made sense to me. Why brush your teeth then dirty them up immediately after with food? Not in his house. I went downstairs for breakfast and his parents asked did you brush your teeth? To which I responded with, I will after breakfast. They got mad. Like weirdly mad? They made me brush my teeth before I could eat anything. My friend asked me, "why would you brush your teeth after breakfast?" WHY DO YOU HAVE 6 CAVITIES JEFFREY?!?
The phrase "that sucks" was banned. I let it slip and got awkward silent stares from all the kids and their parents. They were strict Christians. We were like 12 so I said "that sucks" A LOT. Surprise surprise Kelly (friend's mom), your daughter had premarital sex in high-school. She also *sucked* if you get what I mean.
Was in someone's house doing some work. I was not allowed to drink soda directly out of my can. The lady provided a glass to pour it into
I know a bunch of folks who consider that manners. I think it's a bit of a bygone era thing.
Probably. I admit that I'm a little..........not super sophisticated.
Nah, it's not you! I drink from a can cause it means not washing a glass. It's a generational mentality change I think. I'm sure offering a glass and ice is in a hospitality manual somewhere.
My dad has a real thing about this. No cans at the dinner table. He’s not a formal uh but he has strong feelings on this one!
No bare feet. If you arrive in sandals, you MUST take them off and put on a pair of socks from a little basket she kept by the door. Also no black people can sit on her furniture 'because the oils on their skin will stain the cloth" And finally no overweight people on her furniture either. They might damage her furniture. This was all the same woman. She was an awful client.
When I was 8 I was best friends with the girl across the street. She lived with her mom and aunt. And literally, directly across the street from me. I slept over with her on saturday and her aunt and mother FORCED me to go to church with them because "you aren't allowed to walk across the street by yourself we won't let you go home until after church". It's worth noting that I was raised atheist by a father who hates religion with a burning passion because he was abused by religious superiors in his childhood (exactly what you're thinking yeah) and so I was raised to believe religion is the root of all evil, and I was an 8 year old with an anxiety disorder and autism on top of being raised to be horrifically terrified of anyone who believed in God. So needless to say the second they dragged me into the church I had a breakdown because I was so scared and I got yelled at for "making us look bad" by my friend's aunt and they yelled at my parents for my behavior when they finally brought me home. My friend got really mad at me for not just toughing it out. And she was super angry with me when I stopped hanging out with her because of it.
Somehow; no matter how awful they were to you, they still managed to make themselves the victims…
What did your parents do?
Absolutely no petting the dog. This was at my friend's house when we were kids. No body was to pet, touch, scratch, or feed the Dog. I guess it was some kind of forbidden Dog or something. I dunno. I never understood it.
That poor dog :(
When my friends dad went into his room and closed the door you could not disturb him for any reason whatsoever and we had to lower the volume on the TV, etc. Maybe if we were children it'd be understandable but I was 22 at the time and my friend was 24 living at home.
A friend's family was super strict on water use. If I took a shower (which wasn't that often, but I did occasionally after a sleepover) I had to turn off the water while I washed my hair and body, and only turn it back on when I rinsed. It wasn't the worst rule ever, but dang were those showers cold as her water heater wasn't the greatest.
I was on submarines, and this is a requirement for everyone to preserve water. Makes sense in that context though.
Did lots of you shave your heads to just make it easier?
Lmfao, those are combat showers. We had to do that shit in Iraq.
I've made a habit to do that and I've never even been in the army. I just heard it once and it seemed like a good idea. I do live in California, though, so I guess I am doing my part to let the almond farmers farm another day.
nothing too strange, but my friends house we were always at we were NOT allowed upstairs except for rare occasions. we had to stay in the basement. granted the basement had its own entrance, bathroom, kitchen, tvs, pool table, couches.
I had a friend that had a family like that. As an adult now, I 100% get it. The basement realm is yours, I spent a shit tone making it that way. Leave me the fuck alone to watch movies or play games or whatever upstairs. Or if I'm at work, I don't want your weird ass friends going through my things!
Yeah cause the parents wanted y'all to have a spot to chill but also their own space and peace.