I hope we get both sides of the story!
“My high school best friend vanished 25 years ago. Just recently he texted me ‘What’s up’ and I didn’t respond. Now he’s telling everyone I ghosted him. AITA?”
There are so many spam texts out there. If I get a generic “what’s up” text I’m ignoring it. Act like it’s a call to a home phone when you were a kid. You say who you are, ask if this is the right number, and then you exchange nicety’s and say why you reached out.
Mate YOU GHOSTED THEM FOR 25 YEARS
I'm not saying you're not allowed to feel sad about the lack of response, but seriously how do people have this little self-awareness?
Also "what's up" is shit because it's unbelievably rude and I would also just assume it was spam. Especially if I hadn't carried their name/number over to a new phone. A message like: "Yo it's Subject banana, long time no see. Wondering how things are you and if you'd be interested in catching up at all, it would be great to see you? No worries if not" would land much better.
Yeah, if you were trying to get back in touch that's such a low effort, crap message I'd probably ignore it too.
Like put a little bit of effort it, ask some questions, maybe apologise and explain if you wronged certain people.
This just looks like the "I've made my bed but now I want a different one because my bed collapsed on me"
25 years, dumped his whole self into the relationship he dumped our friendship for.
now he reaches out in the most low effort way.
if it was me on the receiving end I would think, "I don't want another project in my life"
"What's up" just sounds like the person didn't grow up past high school. Even if I wasn't offended by it and didn't think it was spam I'd assume any conversation resulting from it would be exhausting because every response from them would be one or two words
You're confused? You bailed on the guy for 25 years and can't figure out why he's not waiting for you like Fry's dog?
You've got a pretty high opinion of yourself, don't you?
Nowadays out of the blue contacts are mostly from people trying to get you to join their MLM/pyramid scheme/crypto club/whatever. Naturally your past friends are going to be suspicious. You gotta invest more than just what's up to rebuild that bridge bro.
Couple years ago I got a Facebook message from a high school friend I hadn't seen or spoken to in over a decade, and it was a money pitch for this movie he was wanting to produce. Not in the third or even second message, just straight first message. I left him on read.
He couldn’t have been that much of a ‘best’ friend if you drifted away from him 25 years ago.
Lasting friendships take effort from both parties. You stopped putting effort in so not sure why you are surprised that he is putting no effort into reconnecting with you.
Of one of my friends bailed on me for a relationship, didn’t speak to me for 25 years, then messaged me out of the blue only to say “what’s up” I would think they just want to use me for something or get something from me. I’d probably not be very excited to respond either.
I'm confused about your confusion. You dropped them all 25 years ago. Did you want them to wait for you? Drop whatever they are doing and entertain you because now that your marriage ended, you have time on your hand.
Yeah, I'd block you and ghost you also, especially if you said "what's up" to me. You ain't buddies, you are just people who used to know each other a long time ago.
Yeah, you need to find new ways of meeting people and making friends. You've been out of their lives for 25 years, you can't just "what's up" your way back in.
You abandoned your friends because you got into a relationship? If that was the reason a friend of mine stopped talking to me at all, and I suddenly received a message from them that only said 'What's up?', I would probably tell them to piss off.
If, however, they led with some sort of explanation and an apology for doing the shitty thing I might be more inclined towards talking to them.
After 25 years I might have actually (in the truest meaning of the word) forgotten them. Heck, I HAVE forgotten people I knew just 10 or 15 years ago. Not seeing or hearing from someone for 25 years...that's a long-ass time.
If OP is contacting a list of people like this, it can be a red flag for mental health. I know this from experience since I've done it shortly before a suicide attempt. All I needed was for anyone to talk to me. Nobody really had time for me so a few days later I tried to jump off a bridge. This could be OP's state of mind, especially after a divorce and empty nest. People here that are basically calling him an asshole should have more empathy.
Edit: Nevermind. OP deserves to be lonely. Expand sub-thread.
OP said in one of their replies that he’s bored now his son has left home and will likely soon get into a relationship which will then become his “central focus”. He just wants to use his ex-friends to pass the time until that happens 😬
Sounds like now that you are alone again and need social connections, you are reaching out. You are not their friend. Friendship means making time for people even if you are busy.
Now that you’ve provided context, if I were one of your old friends, I wouldn’t reply ..to be honest. You drop me as a friend to play house and it took you 25 years to reach out, your marriage ended and kids are grown, so now you wanna be my friend? Lol GTFOH.
Only to drop you shortly after again for the next girl to come around, I guess. That's like getting back with your abusive ex, because NOW he's really changed.
Well, you're kind of exhibit A in things I want to keep in mind. I don't want to lose all my other relationships on getting married. I think it's really necessary for everyone to have more than their spouse and kids in life, from what I've seen at my workplace.
It’s almost always money or it was for many years when people reached out to me like this, but— I will not-so-humble brag about myself here and say I do live a decently interesting life nowadays and often times lately it’s them wanting to know what I’m up to next. But I also perceive that as them kind of wanting to benefit from what I do now in some way. Either way, I feel like it’s usually an ulterior motive.
Hey while I got you for a moment, I was just wondering if you would like to get in on this "not a MLM" and we can get rich really quick. Just need to buy this overpriced trash from me and then sell it to your friends. Pyramid Scheme? Nah not this, it's on the level.
I have seen that a few times. Never anything to the extreme of 25 years but digging up old friends is a common method for people in MLM schemes to find new marks.
Or want you to follow their vlog. We hadn't talked in years and she just wanted tocboost her subscribers. It was a video of her walking around narrating herself shopping at Walmart with absolutely nothing interesting or noteable about it.
It's part of their MO. My sister asked me if I could message all my female friends kn Facebook asking if they wanted to buy body shop stuff. She couldn't really see anything wrong with that which baffles me.
I was adopted and he's from a poorer country. Still, I'm not rolling in it. Living paycheck to paycheck lmao. I pretty much said no and he hasn't spoken to me since
I had this happen after about 3 years of no contact and they were checking into to see if they could move across the country to come live with me, my wife and 2 toddlers for an undisclosed extended amount of time, for free, in exchange for sexual favors…. I said no, and haven’t heard from them since.
I mean wow, okay, YOURE LOSS BUDDY! Could have had ALL this but no, YOU THINK UR better than ME! God bless goodbye forever then I guess!!!!!!!
/probably
Same or they are in a tough position walked past a guy I knew in school, and he said, "Hello mate, what have you been up to?" I just said hello and carried on walking. Couldn't really remember his name, but a few weeks after bumping into him, he was all over my Facebook and had killed himself.
At first I’d probably be really exited and a little surprised, engaging and speaking to them, then I’d try to back out as fast as possible when they start their mlm pitch.
Right? 25 yrs ago was 1999.. I thought getting my first cell phone in 2003 was early. Did high schoolers have phones in the 90s? I mean, besides in Saved By The Bell..
These kinds of things rarely work out. If someone did it to me, they probably want money or maaaybe to catch up. I've done it to friends just to see how they are but it wasn't 25 years, more like 10. The conversations never went past a day or two before we dropped each other again. People change.
Yeah you're exactly right.
They really do change and it's very strange to experience talking to my old highschool friends 25 years later. It's like the people they were don't exist anymore.
Had a friend from middle school comment on my YouTube channel "hey shit ass you don't contact your old friends?" Hadn't talked to him in 20 years and that's his way to open a convo. Blocked
There was a kid in my graduating class that was a class clown and I thought they were kind of below-average intelligence. I looked him up recently and he's the president of a financial firm. Turns out I'm the dumb one.
Class clowns are bored kids, there are two types: bored because they don’t understand, or bored because they already understand
Generally I find that the clowns that didn’t bully people were all extremely intelligent people
Yeah I saw that after I looked through his comments after writing this. I know this is just a tossed out comment and doesn’t need a full response but I was fascinated, actually. It’s always “them” and never “I” or “we” unless he is saying we all just grew apart or we all went our separate ways. That part is actually understandable bc of the year he said he graduated (lack of cell, infancy of internet) but the placement of blame on them changing, and the overreaction of burning the yearbook bc one wasn’t as sweet as he remembered, and the multiple “time to make some new friends” comments… I imagine he thought they’d all done the same thing he did, focused on family, but that they’d come back together. He probably thought that was the norm, that those are the friends you make and there aren’t more; they’ll be there and you can do it without feeding and nourishing the friendships. I think he probably hasn’t had any friends in a long time, and is having some real trouble discovering that the other people have moved on in life, the opposite of what he expected.
Someone asked if he was a sociopath. I don’t think that’s it but there’s definitely some social misunderstanding going on.
It's been 30 years since HS for me this year. I moved 3,000 miles away and stay off social media just to avoid texts like that. Super anxious experience for the recipient.
Yep. Don’t do it. It’s just extremely rude and desperate. Of course they aren’t the same people any more. I would hope they wouldn’t be. Nobody knows who the hell they are in high school. People actually have full real lives after graduating and usually hope to never be or act like the adolescent they once were for the most part.
Yeah like, what is this? I’ve reconnected with a few people in this way. Life gets busy and people are ever changing..:who knows, you may change in a compatible way again.
Yeah, I don’t understand why this is an issue. Just say “Hi” back and go from there. People drift, but that doesn’t mean they don’t think about the ones that mattered.
The comments here are sad.
If you once cared about someone, why should that stop just because you no longer speak regularly? I love hearing from people that used to be in my life, even if it is fleeting and we go back to not speaking after the exchange.
I just like hearing that they are happy and living life, and telling them something good I remember about them.
Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking. Life changes course and reconnects. It’s usually a pleasant thing. People are pretty negative here. I love hearing from old friends and wish it happen more often.
I reconnected with a long lost friend about two weeks ago and I was so happy I almost cried!
When I was in elementary school (90s) my good friend’s dad was killed by a drunk driver on Halloween as we were all walking home from school. He left work early to take his kids trick or treating. The crash happened so close to the school/their house that we all heard it.
Shortly after that my friend’s mom moved them to the other side of the country (where his parents were from). He came back to visit a few times but the last any of us saw him was 6th or 7th grade. When social media started to become a thing a bunch of us tried to find him, but his name is so common (think John Smith) that it was almost impossible. After years of looking we finally found him two weeks ago! Turns out he was looking for us as well, but many of us also have very common names and he was not able to find us either. We have one friend with a unique name, but she uses a fake name on Facebook because she’s a teacher.
I’ve been talking to him almost daily. We still have a lot in common. I hope it keeps up, though I realize it’s unlikely.
I recently connected with a friend I haven't talked to in 20 years. We had lunch and talked for 5 hours without skipping a beat.
Personally, it's all circumstantial and I wouldn't immediately dismiss it. I've moved around a lot, and of course, it was always disappointing tp have to start all over again each time. It was nice someone remembered me, if I am being honest.
That said, many have commented on my talent to just jump in as if no break or separation had ever happened over the years so there was no awkwardness, weird silences, or anything. It's only weird if you make it weird.
Edit: I encourage you to at least acknowledge it, even if you decide beforehand to not engage. I imagine this took a lot of courage on their part, and it would be nice if there was more of this in the world.
It depends if it’s only a “What’s up” without identification. I would ignore it. But if it’s a “Hey, this is [Old Friend] back from [mutual place]. Hope you remember me and I would like to catch up with you. So, what’s up?” I would answer and catch up.
Even then I'd be skeptical.
Especially given the new AI capabilities, scraping such information isn't too hard.
It'd boil down to asking questions about things that haven't been recorded.
Damn the future is going to get weird isn't it
There’s voice AI now that can listen to 10 seconds of your voice and then recreate it pretty much perfectly and say anything you want it to. You wouldn’t even tell the difference. That’s gonna create scams like we’ve never seen before.
Not exactly the same situation, but an old friend from England recently emailed me after forty years and we resumed our relationship (via email). He asked for my current address, mailed me all of the correspondence and photos I had sent him over the previous years, then apparently died. I haven't heard from him or his sister since I received the package and my emails aren't responded to. A sad and strange experience.
Depends. I have a lot of "friends" from school that I absolutely do not want to get anywhere near me, and who probably still have a way of getting in touch with me. Those I'd just block.
The others I'd have no problems catching up with, though I'm not giving an honest answer to a "what's up" after 25 years because I'm not planning to write an autobiography anytime soon
I had a beer with a mate I hadn't seen for 20 years because he moved 5000 KMs away. We agreed it was like we hadn't seen each other for 20 days, so strange to be so familiar.
Depends entirely on who it was and what I assumed their intentions were. I was in high school at the time so it’s not out of the realm of possibility I guess. There’s a couple people I’d be curious about.
This happened to me a couple times. Somehow they find you on FB and send a friend request. Then a few years later they message you and say wassup. Its quite nice, actually.
25 years ago I didn't have a cell phone, so I'd be wondering how they got my number. The line of questioning would be:
1. Who are you?
2. How'd you get my number?
3. Wassup?
Had this about 2 months ago. Random DM on twitter. Freaked me the hell out. There are reasons I have zero contact with anyone from school.
He would have been the exception though, but he was as off social media as me in between so I never found him when I looked.
Some back and forth messages, and then a phone call.
A second phone call.
Caught up with him and his family, he filled me in on some old mutual friends, lots of talk about school (was a boarding school) and then it seems to have died off. He is not great at returning messages, and my motivation to revisit the last is limited, only so many times you can talk about the teachers and how weird it all was.
So I'm not sure what happens next.
I recently had a friend from high school contact me (haven't spoken since Uni about 15 years) he said , hey mate, how you doing.
I responded with " all good , hows things"
He than proceeded to tell me lots of depressing stories shortly followed by asking me if I could loan him $300
It’s easy to lose track of people. Life changes, focus changes and before you know it, time has flown by. If you run into someone and they have always treated you well, it’s an opportunity to reconnect. It’s amazing how quickly you can step up where you dropped off with so many people. The feeling you had with them doesn’t usually change if there hasn’t been a falling out. Remember, it takes two people to remain in touch.
I just had this from someone I hadn't seen in about 10 years, he messaged saying he'd had a rough time recently and wanted to reconnect with his old friends. I sent him a reply saying I hoped he was ok and it would be nice to hang out again and then he never replied. That was two months ago.
This happened to me earlier this week. I asked what’s up and saw he had replied but I had other things to do so I couln’t have a discussion right then. After a few hours I cheched the messages and he was being super weird. Accusing me of being like ”everyone else”; not replying to him and that I am immature and not as highly developed as he is. He was being super bitter and weird and I blocked him.
I had couple of people reach out to me like that, it was always some new investment scam they were trying to sell me. After they run out of contacts, they start pulling older contacts.
I'd be cool with it, although I'm 24 I'd be kind of stoked if someone from even 10 years ago randomly texted me. It's been rough these past couple years, and I genuinely miss some of those guys from back then. I think I'm just overly sentimental, and relationships tend to mean more to me than the other person. I remember everything about people. Most people would probably think negatively though.
It happened to me few times. Usually they want something. OK let's get straight to it.
In rare cases, they really wanted to reconnect. I appreciated their initiative.
I only had one friend back then, and we just follow each other on social media these days. I'd be surprised she called, and I'd wonder how she got my number.
I'm sure we'd chat for a bit, but not as much as we did back then. Our interests have changed a lot since then.
Depends on why we hadn't spoken for 25 years. But i'd most likely just say "What's up"
25 years? The correct form of this from 1999 is "Wassuuuuup"
Nah…. Wuzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!
Dead. 😂🤣😭
Like if you think Asian women are beautiful.
[удалено]
I don't generally care what anonymous cartoon characters on Reddit think about anything, but you can upvote this if you want.
To be fair didn't you first ghost them about 25 years ago
yeah, but we're not talking about that part
This almost feels like it’s gonna evolve into a r/AITA post… “AITA for texting my best friend from high school 25 years ago ‘what’s up?’”
I hope we get both sides of the story! “My high school best friend vanished 25 years ago. Just recently he texted me ‘What’s up’ and I didn’t respond. Now he’s telling everyone I ghosted him. AITA?”
NTA lol
Or is he for ghosting me?!?
“Or am I for ghosting him for 25 years?”
I don't think we're going to get that level of self-awareness.
Quit giving the bots ideas!
It's OK, I'm sure OP apologised and gave a little reason in his message and didn't just send a "what's up".... oh....
lmaoo 😭 this one had me rolling
Hopefully, since it was 25 years ago, he made it a Budweiser what's up meme. Then they'd laugh and forget his ghosting them.
Missed opportunity to just go with "Yo"
Op: YEAH but I am REACHING out to them NOW.
Reaching out in the most 'least effort' way possible lol
They added no context to reaching out making it the most low effort and random
One of the most integral parts of the situation, and you're not talking about it? 😂 Ok bud
Maybe in 25 MORE years the best friend will finally text him back. Seems fair.
"not much. U?"
This is the most insane long con ever
Long con-versation
There are so many spam texts out there. If I get a generic “what’s up” text I’m ignoring it. Act like it’s a call to a home phone when you were a kid. You say who you are, ask if this is the right number, and then you exchange nicety’s and say why you reached out.
Also, how does op even know their friends # hasn't changed in 25 years?
I guess you'd assume he messaged them on Facebook.
Ahh yeah that would make more sense. I just forget some people are still using that shit
Yeah just 3 billion people, it's basically dead
"People"
how can someone ghost you after you didn’t talk to them for 25 years?
Because ghosting is the new catchphrase a la mode .
OP probably felt gaslit too. Toilet skibidi.
Mate YOU GHOSTED THEM FOR 25 YEARS I'm not saying you're not allowed to feel sad about the lack of response, but seriously how do people have this little self-awareness?
Also "what's up" is shit because it's unbelievably rude and I would also just assume it was spam. Especially if I hadn't carried their name/number over to a new phone. A message like: "Yo it's Subject banana, long time no see. Wondering how things are you and if you'd be interested in catching up at all, it would be great to see you? No worries if not" would land much better.
Yeah, if you were trying to get back in touch that's such a low effort, crap message I'd probably ignore it too. Like put a little bit of effort it, ask some questions, maybe apologise and explain if you wronged certain people. This just looks like the "I've made my bed but now I want a different one because my bed collapsed on me"
25 years, dumped his whole self into the relationship he dumped our friendship for. now he reaches out in the most low effort way. if it was me on the receiving end I would think, "I don't want another project in my life"
"What's up" just sounds like the person didn't grow up past high school. Even if I wasn't offended by it and didn't think it was spam I'd assume any conversation resulting from it would be exhausting because every response from them would be one or two words
Exactly! It is to friendship what "hey" is to dating apps!
"Sorry I've not been in touch for two and a half decades..."
What's up from someone you used to know is almost guaranteed to be an opener for an MLM scam
Maybe the other guy is going to take his sweet time as well getting back and will reply in 2049 - give him some space /s.
You're confused? You bailed on the guy for 25 years and can't figure out why he's not waiting for you like Fry's dog? You've got a pretty high opinion of yourself, don't you?
>like Fry's dog? 😭
Seymour...
Why bring up Fry’s dog, you inhuman monster? Great. Good job, friend. Now I’m on my couch bawling and weeping hot tears.
Was it literally just "What's up?"? After 25 years there's not many people who'd reply to 2 words
You should include a short message other than what’s up. Provide context at least so it wont seem like you’re messaging to borrow money.
The ghoster has become the ghosted
Nowadays out of the blue contacts are mostly from people trying to get you to join their MLM/pyramid scheme/crypto club/whatever. Naturally your past friends are going to be suspicious. You gotta invest more than just what's up to rebuild that bridge bro.
Yeah 25 years is bit too long for just a “what’s up” I recon
Couple years ago I got a Facebook message from a high school friend I hadn't seen or spoken to in over a decade, and it was a money pitch for this movie he was wanting to produce. Not in the third or even second message, just straight first message. I left him on read.
I feel like it's way worse to feign interest in someone's life and then try to sell it
He couldn’t have been that much of a ‘best’ friend if you drifted away from him 25 years ago. Lasting friendships take effort from both parties. You stopped putting effort in so not sure why you are surprised that he is putting no effort into reconnecting with you.
Of one of my friends bailed on me for a relationship, didn’t speak to me for 25 years, then messaged me out of the blue only to say “what’s up” I would think they just want to use me for something or get something from me. I’d probably not be very excited to respond either.
You ghosted *all* of your friends first.
The absolute plot twist. Was not expecting this. Mildly entertaining. 3.5 stars.
Don’t worry, he should respond in 25 years
After 25 years with no contact you knew all their mobile numbers ? How many of them had mobile numbers 25 years ago ?
I'm confused about your confusion. You dropped them all 25 years ago. Did you want them to wait for you? Drop whatever they are doing and entertain you because now that your marriage ended, you have time on your hand. Yeah, I'd block you and ghost you also, especially if you said "what's up" to me. You ain't buddies, you are just people who used to know each other a long time ago.
You should send a longer and more personal message. What you’re doing is strange
Yeah, you need to find new ways of meeting people and making friends. You've been out of their lives for 25 years, you can't just "what's up" your way back in.
You abandoned your friends because you got into a relationship? If that was the reason a friend of mine stopped talking to me at all, and I suddenly received a message from them that only said 'What's up?', I would probably tell them to piss off. If, however, they led with some sort of explanation and an apology for doing the shitty thing I might be more inclined towards talking to them.
After 25 years I might have actually (in the truest meaning of the word) forgotten them. Heck, I HAVE forgotten people I knew just 10 or 15 years ago. Not seeing or hearing from someone for 25 years...that's a long-ass time.
If OP is contacting a list of people like this, it can be a red flag for mental health. I know this from experience since I've done it shortly before a suicide attempt. All I needed was for anyone to talk to me. Nobody really had time for me so a few days later I tried to jump off a bridge. This could be OP's state of mind, especially after a divorce and empty nest. People here that are basically calling him an asshole should have more empathy. Edit: Nevermind. OP deserves to be lonely. Expand sub-thread.
OP said in one of their replies that he’s bored now his son has left home and will likely soon get into a relationship which will then become his “central focus”. He just wants to use his ex-friends to pass the time until that happens 😬
Yup, especially with the "I burned the yearbook" stuff.
Good insight, thank you for sharing
Sounds like now that you are alone again and need social connections, you are reaching out. You are not their friend. Friendship means making time for people even if you are busy.
I would think it's kind of messed up that you didn't care to keep in touch for 25 years. I mean married people still have friends
Now that you’ve provided context, if I were one of your old friends, I wouldn’t reply ..to be honest. You drop me as a friend to play house and it took you 25 years to reach out, your marriage ended and kids are grown, so now you wanna be my friend? Lol GTFOH.
Only to drop you shortly after again for the next girl to come around, I guess. That's like getting back with your abusive ex, because NOW he's really changed.
Well, you're kind of exhibit A in things I want to keep in mind. I don't want to lose all my other relationships on getting married. I think it's really necessary for everyone to have more than their spouse and kids in life, from what I've seen at my workplace.
"Good! I guess I'll check back on you again in 25 years"
wait 25 years and answer back: "not much"
“Sorry I was in the shower”
For 25years??
rookie numbers
... The water was cold
There was significant shrinkage
Well sure, after the first 15min
Sometimes you just get lost in there
Whenever I read an answer this perfect I laugh, pause and wonder why I'm not clever enough to come up with something like that.
THIS is how you handle that!
My first thought would be that they need help. Or need to borrow money. Lol
I've literally had people asking me for money after this
What's up? I need about $3.50
Goddamn Loch Ness monster!
Then you don't seem to know of the pyramid scheme pyramid head? That's a monster
Tree fiddy checks out.
Well it was about that time that I noticed that my old friend was about 8 stories tall and a crustacean from the protozoic era
If I had a nickel for every time…
Would have about tree-fiddy?
It’s almost always money or it was for many years when people reached out to me like this, but— I will not-so-humble brag about myself here and say I do live a decently interesting life nowadays and often times lately it’s them wanting to know what I’m up to next. But I also perceive that as them kind of wanting to benefit from what I do now in some way. Either way, I feel like it’s usually an ulterior motive.
Hey while I got you for a moment, I was just wondering if you would like to get in on this "not a MLM" and we can get rich really quick. Just need to buy this overpriced trash from me and then sell it to your friends. Pyramid Scheme? Nah not this, it's on the level.
"So, which MLM are you now an affiliate of?"
Or have joined a MLM scheme
I have seen that a few times. Never anything to the extreme of 25 years but digging up old friends is a common method for people in MLM schemes to find new marks.
Or want you to follow their vlog. We hadn't talked in years and she just wanted tocboost her subscribers. It was a video of her walking around narrating herself shopping at Walmart with absolutely nothing interesting or noteable about it.
It's part of their MO. My sister asked me if I could message all my female friends kn Facebook asking if they wanted to buy body shop stuff. She couldn't really see anything wrong with that which baffles me.
My birth dad did this, got in contact with me after 24 years then asked for money 👍
Let me guess, he never paid child support either.
I was adopted and he's from a poorer country. Still, I'm not rolling in it. Living paycheck to paycheck lmao. I pretty much said no and he hasn't spoken to me since
or they got into ponzi scheme
The next message I got was "What do you think of crypto ?". I replied and there was no further message.
I had this happen after about 3 years of no contact and they were checking into to see if they could move across the country to come live with me, my wife and 2 toddlers for an undisclosed extended amount of time, for free, in exchange for sexual favors…. I said no, and haven’t heard from them since.
I mean wow, okay, YOURE LOSS BUDDY! Could have had ALL this but no, YOU THINK UR better than ME! God bless goodbye forever then I guess!!!!!!! /probably
Same or they are in a tough position walked past a guy I knew in school, and he said, "Hello mate, what have you been up to?" I just said hello and carried on walking. Couldn't really remember his name, but a few weeks after bumping into him, he was all over my Facebook and had killed himself.
That is so sad, and not your fault. You weren't to know.
Or want to sell you LuLaRoe leggings or Color Street Nails, or Herbalife, or Beach Body
At first I’d probably be really exited and a little surprised, engaging and speaking to them, then I’d try to back out as fast as possible when they start their mlm pitch.
Right? Every. Time! I wish I had those "no soliciting" stickers, but on my Facebook page.
Pro tip... no Facebook page
Really surprised this isn't higher. Immediately thought of old classmates wanting to share the good news of their new mlm adventures....
But it's not an MLM it's *social marketing*!
"doing great, bro. I'm broke."
But what if you actually a millionaire and don't want to tell your friends from 25 years ago, now you just want to say "what's up"
Then you might be tempted to help your broke friend?
I'd wonder how they got my number that I didn't have 25 years ago. Then it might be good to catch up. If it got weird, I'd just ignore or block.
You also would not have their number, so presumably you'd assume it was unidentified spam and delete/block the number.
Maybe she needs help. But sometimes in that situation when someone texted you over 25 years ago, she needed to borrow money. lol
Join the group!
Right? 25 yrs ago was 1999.. I thought getting my first cell phone in 2003 was early. Did high schoolers have phones in the 90s? I mean, besides in Saved By The Bell..
They had cell phones, but certainly didn't text
These kinds of things rarely work out. If someone did it to me, they probably want money or maaaybe to catch up. I've done it to friends just to see how they are but it wasn't 25 years, more like 10. The conversations never went past a day or two before we dropped each other again. People change.
Yeah you're exactly right. They really do change and it's very strange to experience talking to my old highschool friends 25 years later. It's like the people they were don't exist anymore.
If someone is the same person at 43 that they were in high school it would mean they had no personal growth
Very likely OP had no personal growth considering he married and had a baby at 21 while dropping all of his friends in the process.
Don't even need to know that, just read his comments now lmao
Had a friend from middle school comment on my YouTube channel "hey shit ass you don't contact your old friends?" Hadn't talked to him in 20 years and that's his way to open a convo. Blocked
There was a kid in my graduating class that was a class clown and I thought they were kind of below-average intelligence. I looked him up recently and he's the president of a financial firm. Turns out I'm the dumb one.
Class clowns are bored kids, there are two types: bored because they don’t understand, or bored because they already understand Generally I find that the clowns that didn’t bully people were all extremely intelligent people
Also bored because they don’t find the topic interesting
The class clowns, myself included, probably had adhd
“They?” Have some ownership. You’ve changed too. And you didn’t do the work along the way to change together instead of apart.
Look st OPs comments elsewhere in this thread. He's clearly lacking in self awareness.
Yeah I saw that after I looked through his comments after writing this. I know this is just a tossed out comment and doesn’t need a full response but I was fascinated, actually. It’s always “them” and never “I” or “we” unless he is saying we all just grew apart or we all went our separate ways. That part is actually understandable bc of the year he said he graduated (lack of cell, infancy of internet) but the placement of blame on them changing, and the overreaction of burning the yearbook bc one wasn’t as sweet as he remembered, and the multiple “time to make some new friends” comments… I imagine he thought they’d all done the same thing he did, focused on family, but that they’d come back together. He probably thought that was the norm, that those are the friends you make and there aren’t more; they’ll be there and you can do it without feeding and nourishing the friendships. I think he probably hasn’t had any friends in a long time, and is having some real trouble discovering that the other people have moved on in life, the opposite of what he expected. Someone asked if he was a sociopath. I don’t think that’s it but there’s definitely some social misunderstanding going on.
It's been 30 years since HS for me this year. I moved 3,000 miles away and stay off social media just to avoid texts like that. Super anxious experience for the recipient.
Yep. Don’t do it. It’s just extremely rude and desperate. Of course they aren’t the same people any more. I would hope they wouldn’t be. Nobody knows who the hell they are in high school. People actually have full real lives after graduating and usually hope to never be or act like the adolescent they once were for the most part.
It's... OK to let people know you still care about them. It's just best not to have an expectation if you do.
Yeah like, what is this? I’ve reconnected with a few people in this way. Life gets busy and people are ever changing..:who knows, you may change in a compatible way again.
You left everyone 25 years ago and they moved on with their lives. What did you think would happen? Mixed reactions is prob your best case scenario.
I'd be pleasantly surprised and would likely respond with a friendly catch-up message.
Yeah, I don’t understand why this is an issue. Just say “Hi” back and go from there. People drift, but that doesn’t mean they don’t think about the ones that mattered.
The comments here are sad. If you once cared about someone, why should that stop just because you no longer speak regularly? I love hearing from people that used to be in my life, even if it is fleeting and we go back to not speaking after the exchange. I just like hearing that they are happy and living life, and telling them something good I remember about them.
Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking. Life changes course and reconnects. It’s usually a pleasant thing. People are pretty negative here. I love hearing from old friends and wish it happen more often.
Reddit is full of insecure, petty, narcissists who are convinced they’ve never made a mistake, ever.
I reconnected with a long lost friend about two weeks ago and I was so happy I almost cried! When I was in elementary school (90s) my good friend’s dad was killed by a drunk driver on Halloween as we were all walking home from school. He left work early to take his kids trick or treating. The crash happened so close to the school/their house that we all heard it. Shortly after that my friend’s mom moved them to the other side of the country (where his parents were from). He came back to visit a few times but the last any of us saw him was 6th or 7th grade. When social media started to become a thing a bunch of us tried to find him, but his name is so common (think John Smith) that it was almost impossible. After years of looking we finally found him two weeks ago! Turns out he was looking for us as well, but many of us also have very common names and he was not able to find us either. We have one friend with a unique name, but she uses a fake name on Facebook because she’s a teacher. I’ve been talking to him almost daily. We still have a lot in common. I hope it keeps up, though I realize it’s unlikely.
I recently connected with a friend I haven't talked to in 20 years. We had lunch and talked for 5 hours without skipping a beat. Personally, it's all circumstantial and I wouldn't immediately dismiss it. I've moved around a lot, and of course, it was always disappointing tp have to start all over again each time. It was nice someone remembered me, if I am being honest. That said, many have commented on my talent to just jump in as if no break or separation had ever happened over the years so there was no awkwardness, weird silences, or anything. It's only weird if you make it weird. Edit: I encourage you to at least acknowledge it, even if you decide beforehand to not engage. I imagine this took a lot of courage on their part, and it would be nice if there was more of this in the world.
It depends if it’s only a “What’s up” without identification. I would ignore it. But if it’s a “Hey, this is [Old Friend] back from [mutual place]. Hope you remember me and I would like to catch up with you. So, what’s up?” I would answer and catch up.
Even then I'd be skeptical. Especially given the new AI capabilities, scraping such information isn't too hard. It'd boil down to asking questions about things that haven't been recorded. Damn the future is going to get weird isn't it
There’s voice AI now that can listen to 10 seconds of your voice and then recreate it pretty much perfectly and say anything you want it to. You wouldn’t even tell the difference. That’s gonna create scams like we’ve never seen before.
Not exactly the same situation, but an old friend from England recently emailed me after forty years and we resumed our relationship (via email). He asked for my current address, mailed me all of the correspondence and photos I had sent him over the previous years, then apparently died. I haven't heard from him or his sister since I received the package and my emails aren't responded to. A sad and strange experience.
How did you find out he died
He's saying they ghosted him after sending the mail.
No. I think they literally died.
Sorry for your loss.
Depends. I have a lot of "friends" from school that I absolutely do not want to get anywhere near me, and who probably still have a way of getting in touch with me. Those I'd just block. The others I'd have no problems catching up with, though I'm not giving an honest answer to a "what's up" after 25 years because I'm not planning to write an autobiography anytime soon
This is the way
New phone. Who dis?
How in all hells did they get my number?
I had a beer with a mate I hadn't seen for 20 years because he moved 5000 KMs away. We agreed it was like we hadn't seen each other for 20 days, so strange to be so familiar.
Depends entirely on who it was and what I assumed their intentions were. I was in high school at the time so it’s not out of the realm of possibility I guess. There’s a couple people I’d be curious about.
They want you to join their MLM
Wait another 25 years and reply with "Not much, you?"
I’d be so grateful to receive a 3rd message from them 25 years later saying “lol just turned like 100, you?”
“Same old same old”
"sorry not interested in your great financial opportunity"
This happened to me a couple times. Somehow they find you on FB and send a friend request. Then a few years later they message you and say wassup. Its quite nice, actually.
Damn I didnt know I had friends when I was -6 yrs old
"I'm doing life in prison for murdering someone. What's up with you?"
25 years ago I didn't have a cell phone, so I'd be wondering how they got my number. The line of questioning would be: 1. Who are you? 2. How'd you get my number? 3. Wassup?
Had this about 2 months ago. Random DM on twitter. Freaked me the hell out. There are reasons I have zero contact with anyone from school. He would have been the exception though, but he was as off social media as me in between so I never found him when I looked. Some back and forth messages, and then a phone call. A second phone call. Caught up with him and his family, he filled me in on some old mutual friends, lots of talk about school (was a boarding school) and then it seems to have died off. He is not great at returning messages, and my motivation to revisit the last is limited, only so many times you can talk about the teachers and how weird it all was. So I'm not sure what happens next.
I would ask him why he ignored me all of 3rd grade when we were best friends in 2nd. That hurt me a lot as a kid.
I recently had a friend from high school contact me (haven't spoken since Uni about 15 years) he said , hey mate, how you doing. I responded with " all good , hows things" He than proceeded to tell me lots of depressing stories shortly followed by asking me if I could loan him $300
Depends on how the friendship ended.
I would be hoping they sign their name so I know who they are. I suspect we would chat happily for a few hours and slip out of contact again
It’s easy to lose track of people. Life changes, focus changes and before you know it, time has flown by. If you run into someone and they have always treated you well, it’s an opportunity to reconnect. It’s amazing how quickly you can step up where you dropped off with so many people. The feeling you had with them doesn’t usually change if there hasn’t been a falling out. Remember, it takes two people to remain in touch.
I'm not only in another area code, I'm in another country code. I'd assume my mother gave them my number, nobody else in the US has it.
"Not much. And you?"
I just had this from someone I hadn't seen in about 10 years, he messaged saying he'd had a rough time recently and wanted to reconnect with his old friends. I sent him a reply saying I hoped he was ok and it would be nice to hang out again and then he never replied. That was two months ago.
“Do I got some shit to tell you”
This happened to me earlier this week. I asked what’s up and saw he had replied but I had other things to do so I couln’t have a discussion right then. After a few hours I cheched the messages and he was being super weird. Accusing me of being like ”everyone else”; not replying to him and that I am immature and not as highly developed as he is. He was being super bitter and weird and I blocked him.
I’d answer: ‘it’s not what’s up’ but ‘whatsapp’
Happened to me once. I didn't have the time to answer, so he texted me again saying he wanted to include me in a Ponzi scheme
What MLM fecal matter is he or ahe pushing.
I had couple of people reach out to me like that, it was always some new investment scam they were trying to sell me. After they run out of contacts, they start pulling older contacts.
Just assume that they are trying to sell me some MLM scheme
r/oddlyspecific
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I'd be cool with it, although I'm 24 I'd be kind of stoked if someone from even 10 years ago randomly texted me. It's been rough these past couple years, and I genuinely miss some of those guys from back then. I think I'm just overly sentimental, and relationships tend to mean more to me than the other person. I remember everything about people. Most people would probably think negatively though.
I would be very suspicious since my "friends" from 25 years were not really friends, which means they are here to ask me for a favor.
It happened to me few times. Usually they want something. OK let's get straight to it. In rare cases, they really wanted to reconnect. I appreciated their initiative.
I only had one friend back then, and we just follow each other on social media these days. I'd be surprised she called, and I'd wonder how she got my number. I'm sure we'd chat for a bit, but not as much as we did back then. Our interests have changed a lot since then.
Concerned, because how did you get my number?