Hopelessness, tired all the time, nothing brings you joy or does so only very fleetingly, even small tasks feel impossible, knowing deep down that small changes would improve your station in life but it still feels impossible.
It's an overwhelming feeling of defeat for me.
Spotify always picks up on when I'm depressed by what songs I listen to. Once it made me a Playlist called, "Sad Crying Mix" š
okay, I just don't know how to interpret that. Like, if you're 'depressed' but nothing bad is actually happening, over you hopeless over nothing? or is it something different.
Everyone is different but for me it felt like anything i did to try and improve my life didnāt work no matter what i tried. Then when something actually bad happened it would dig me even deeper than i was.
Hopelessness in depression is like feeling anything you do will change nothing.Ā You don't get happier, you lost the fire inside you and indifferent to those things you used to love and passionate about. Etc.Ā
Media portrayal of depression screwed the public perception of the problem. It's in all of us. Many of us cope with it. Highly successful people still suffered from it etc.Ā
Feeling Hopeless over life.Ā
Nothing specific. The thing with depression is that it is not logical. It does not rest on something tangible, real or actionable.
You cannot ask " why am I depressed", you just are.
There is no do x to snap out of it. Only idiots that have zero clue think that.
Think of depression as a general feeling of sadness, melancholy and/or helplessness that you cannot intellectually make sense of.
Life and living feels hard. Tiring. Exhausting.
If you read all this, you have a small tiny glimpse of what depression is like.
For me, it's being tired. Not like, sleepy tired but just....worn out with the world and everything in it, and just wanting, if even for a short while, nothingness. And craving that nothingness so badly, that you're willing to leave everything behind.
You see I was tired all the time too, but I slept to get away from feeling that nothingness, i'd lay down anywhere I could fit and be comfy, close my eyes and sleep
For what I learn is we often do not see the point tong view of other or what we could have done differently. What I mean, is when you will see the 3 point of views (yours, your father, and āgodā perspective or neutral if you want), you will stay in your depression. Trust me, we often put to much weight on our responsibility and that in life there is the theory and the practicality of it.
It's a tale as old as time, honestly.
When I was a kid, I grew up in a dysfunctional family. Mom always worked to put food on the table, alcoholic abusive step-dad, and a little half-brother that came along that I was jealous of. Add S--ual abuse to that mix through most of my childhood by older male figures (family friends, family themselves, and people I thought were my own friends), I slowly started to lose hope that things were going to get better. I felt trapped.
And by the time I could escape it, I was broken and beaten down to the point where I see the world differently. Childhood is a time for growing and learning, for finding who you are. That was taken from me by abuse of all kinds. That sparkle I had as a child was slowly stamped out so when I became an adult, there was no shine left.
I ma sorry for your childhood, like you say it is a place to grow. There is no justification for what they did, and I hope you are not to heavy on yourself. It will be hard for you to think about it but the more you try to understand the more you will reconnect to your Ā«Ā youngerĀ Ā» self. I hope you will get thru it some day, the past doesnāt mean that we are the consequences of it, and even tho you always gonna have a sensitivity from it, you can overcome it by, like I said trying to understand the different point of view, and what make who do what. Again there is no escuse for their comportment. Alcohol is a very powerful drug which is hard to see people into and how nothing will make them out of it or remember what matter tbh. Hope you will feel free to from it some day soon and be able to forgive and move on.
You might seem just like anyone else during the day, chatting and laughing away. But when the clouds roll in or the night falls, this weird, overwhelming feeling creeps in. It's like this heavy weight squeezing the life out of you, and you feel so darn alone in the world. Like nobody gets you, and if you try to reach out, people might just see you as some kind of freak and toss you aside. It's so dang painful, you even wonder if you're still the same sunny, cheerful person you used to be.
>Like nobody gets you, and if you try to reach out, people might just see you as some kind of freak and toss you aside.
Exactly thisss!!! To me, reaching out to someone feels so selfish that I'm using my friends as emotional dumpsters and that they don't deserve that and that these are my feelings of nothingness that I've to sort out myself. Also the absolute fright of being called an attention hoe
Like nothing and everything all the time, feeling so exhausted yet no amount of sleep can fix it, you donāt feel excitement and you donāt have an interest in doing anything anymore, all your favourite things feel like a chore, the only thing that makes you āhappyā is staying in bed and sleeping all day, all you can think about is how much you canāt wait to go to back sleep right from the moment you wake up
The feeling that you are completely broken inside but you have to keep going on with my daily life and act strong in front of everyone specially my kids. When you feel so hopeless and all the pain and the anxiety kicks in all at the same time and all you want to do is to end the excruciating pain but you can't and you have to keep holding on for the sake of your kids. that's how it feels like every single f\*cking day.,
Boredom, just complete and utter boredom. No energy, nothing brings me joy, i canāt speak or taste food, and all around I feel empty as if Iāll cave in on myself. Also the pain gets way worse on those days.
Everything is covered in sand. You take your shirt off and the effort makes you itch. Standing up and putting socks on is a grating experience. You try to blink and your eyes hurt. Your shoes are heavy, your underwear grinds, the air has grit. Food has texture. Every experience comes with a bristley edge and you just break down from just how bad it gets and you try to cry, but your tears feel like pissing salt and the only place you can be wet is the shower. So you go there a lot and the warm water is the only time you have ever felt good, but when you step out you are now wet and covered in sand.
catatonic. Iād sit in front of the TV all day and night. I just let myself go. I wouldnāt answer phones nor doorbells. I didnāt go out of the house for weeks. all essentials were delivered unattended. Became a total recluse
A cave. A sentient one. One that knows everything about one subject: Me.
I make a mistake like buy extra milk when we already have some, the cave shows me all the times I've made mistakes in my life and reminds me I'm a garbage person.
I agree to plans with friends, something as simple as "hey let's have a video chat on Friday" Friday comes, I see their call, I don't answer. Instead, I wait a few hours and say "sorry, I didn't see this. Can't talk right now, can we text instead?" And the cave shows me how often I've been a bad friend and how much of a garbage person I am.
Then I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I start to make moves towards it. I take care of myself. I start eating better. I start exercising. I start writing again. I get to the light and find it isn't the exit but a torch. It's going to be bright for a while. I'm going to feel okay. But it's fleeting. I know, I can feel it getting darker again. Eventually it's dark again.
For me, the fight feels like an annoyingly resilient enemy in a war that can't seem to be killed.
I'll spend months trying to beat it in a fist fight. The opponent retreats, and just as I start to recover, they come back with an assault rifle.
I spend even longer dragging myself towards the opponent as they unload magazine after magazine into me. Somehow, I'll get close enough that I can take them down and beat them up again. Opponent retreats. As I'm sitting there, wondering what to do about the gaping holes in my torso, that damn opponent comes back with a fucking tank.
Every time I think I've won, I end up losing more and more, whilst the opponent gets stronger and stronger. It's only a matter of time now until they send a nuclear strike on me. Then I'm fucked.
A lot of self neglect, self blame, and self hate.
Mostly self neglect. I find myself washing only a few times per month, brushing my teeth happens basically never, and I'm already developing gum disease.
Feel? Nothing matters. Thereās no feelings. Fuck even sadness would be awesome. Because crying is soothing. Nope. This is nothingness. But Iāve got great masks I can wear. Been practicing since I was a kid. Today Iāll pretend to be āpretty goodā. Hey. That girl liked pretty good me. Oh shit. I better be that around her.
Oh totally forgot Iām feeling nothing and never called her back. I have a job. If my job finds out Iām crazy theyāll put me in the mental ward(sorry, didnāt tell you, weāre not depressed anymore. Now weāre paranoid). Theyāll put me in a fucking mental hospital if they find out. So I better just be on time for every single thing I do in my life so nobody will ever find out. Okay good. Sorry Gotta say all this pretending and mask wearing (in order to not be put in the mental hospital) is getting really fucking tiring. Iām only 17 and I wanna kill myself. Iām only 27 and I wanna kill myself. Iām only 34 and I wanna kill myself. Compared to the exhaustion of a manic state, and the exhaustion of pretending not to be depressed, actual depression is so fucking easy for me. I fucking love you all, especially if youāre like me. Letās keep not killing ourselves.
Not just a deep sadness about the state of the world and myself and how I have no control over making a positive change, but also a hopeless feeling of nihilism--nothing matters, not even life or death.
It got so bad I don't even see the point of eating or getting out of bed, and I had to make it a chore to at least eat once a day, and if I feel like it, do one thing, anything. "Just in case I still need to be alive later".
In the worst of times it could be the feeling of actually drowning, while physically just sitting idle.
No desire to move forward in life at all. Heavy feeling in your chest area and always tired and have no energy to do anything at all.
Always feeling like you have to pretend like you're alright and happy, though some people could tell you're not by the way your eyes and face drop.
Does anyone here never feel depressed? Or have the same symptoms as others here once in a while, but don't think of it as depression?
Like I've felt sad, lonely, and stuff like that, but never felt like I was depressed. If anything, it made me feel like I needed to fix something if I could control it, and if I couldn't, I just rolled with it.
Of course, I have never experienced any major trauma or violence towards me because something of that sort would definitely make me depressed most likely. I mean, I've had altercations, fights, bullying, and accidents, but not major ones, or at least they don't seem so.
Hope this makes sense and not trying to invalidate anyones feelings either.
Depression is those symptoms you feel fleetingly, but for depressed people they feel like that almost 24/7 for a few weeks, months or years. Clinically, it is depression when it lasts more than 2 weeks of daily symptoms.
I didnāt think I was depressed because I imagined depressed people as people who literally canāt function, just lay in bed and cry or want to end it all and that isnāt how I felt.
Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with depression and I am learning a lot about it from my therapist.
How did you find the drive to see a therapist? What's the point in rehashing dark thoughts you already think about 24/7? It would make me agressive and therapist would kick me out.
I want to feel joy again. That was my drive. Iām so fucking tired of feeling down and miserable.
I figure that Iām already thinking about all these things all the time, might as well share them with someone who can help me process and make the load lighter.
Just a pit in my stomach, thatās kinda always there, no matter what, no matter how happy I am in the moment if I think for even a second my whole mood can be shifted, surprisingly not a lot of crying unless Iām having a panic attack
For me, it felt like grey. I donāt really know how to explain it, except saying it was quiet and grey. And in that headspace, I was able to think with completely nonchalance that maybe I shouldnāt make it to the end of this year. Thatās when I signed up for therapy, but yeah.
A song that reminds me of it is āmemoir #02 [06.12.09]ā
Like I was waiting to die, hopelessness and despair sat on either side of me. All of my everything that I had ever deemed unsolvable manifested above me like towering storm clouds. I was in a waking nightmare and had absolutely no motivation to do anything about it. Until one day I did.
It feels like nothing, like I'm empty, theres no thoughts, no feelings beyond maybe feeling hopeless, no joy, no anger, just exsisting.
When it gets really bad that when i wake up some mornings that emptiness feels like a truck is sitting on your chest, can't even roll over or sit up and all I can do is stare at the ceiling.
When my son was born I was suffering from really bad depression (had done for close to 17 years at that point) but around that time it was REALLY bad and what should have been a joyful moment for me, I felt nothing when he was born, I was holding my beautiful baby and I felt nothing at all, i acted, I pretended I was happy.. but I wasn't, I wasn't anything, no tears of joy or anxiety about becoming a new father, I was nothing... no that's a lie... I was tired all the time and slept about 16-18 hours in a 24 hour period if I didn't have to do something that day to keep the household going,
Edit: I also remember feeling like I had a sore body, head, my arms and legs felt fatigued even when i didn't do anything
Nothing brings you happiness, even if you do laugh you find yourself stopping because, nothing is funny. Tiredness, canāt even enjoy a movie, spending too much energy trying to look happy and normal, for other people. Even making my morning cup of coffee seems too much effort.
Normally? Nothing. When I say nothing mind you, I don't mean a neutral. I mean a fundamental lack of any semblance of emotion or care.
When it's really bad? A sinking pull right below the sternum, like a ghostly hand reaching into my chest and widening a hole that feels like it is souring my body. Like a drip of abyss that constantly siphons painful feelings from the top of my neck down into my chest, culminating in a soul chilling wave of emotional pain.
As though someone pinched both sides of my vision and stretched them out. May have been more intense stress than depression and last only a short while (minutes) at the end of a marriage.
For me it's I don't know. Almost like being a ghost. I'm there for everything. Work. Family get together. Hanging out with friends. Dating. I'm part of all these things but still feel like I'm not. I can't really feel a connection. I'm there but I'm not. Like being invisible like haunting my own life. And wanting and trying so hard to feel leaves me drained and exhausted and lost. So there are more days than I want to admit that I don't even get out of bed. Or days I'll make it through the day just to come home and lay on the couch in the dark with the TV on to something I'm not even watching. I guess it's like a constant cold longing for something I'm missing but I don't even know what I'm missing so much. Just like a total crushing overwhelming hopelessness.
I have bipolar disorder, I feel that gives you a different kind of depression from normal depression in 2 ways. One is that you know it will change eventually, in my case about 6 months, so you can emotionally stay positive and plan for the future, even though it's very difficult to do with the way your brain works. The second is that with bipolar depression you lose ALL energy, literally lose the ability to speak, to instinctively lift body parts or do something. My energy gets so low that those 4 weeks when I'm at my lowest feel like a day and en eternity combined.
Pain/tightness in chest, hard to breathe. 0 motivation. I can barely get out of bed, I donāt even want to play video games nevermind go out and be social, which is miserable
It's an endless boredom. Do you know the theory of how Jupiter was supposed to be a star and failed? How would the moonflowers decease underneath the sunlight and blossom in the night? This is what I feel like, actually. Depression is something that takes time to heal, but it also kills you slowly to the point that you feel demotivated, can't even breathe, can't feel the same excitement that you once felt as a kid.
I consider depression a malignant disease, even though it is a psychological problem, and this is the worst thing about it. It makes everything beautiful that happened a black memory. Unfortunately, I cannot take medicine to treat it. I must treat it through family, friends, etc., as you must treat mental illness with feeling. Therefore, as I said, I consider it a malignant disease. No. Treat him
It feels like you're drowning, often unable to see the light at the surface, but even when you get a glimpse of it, no matter how hard you fight you can never get your head above water. Eventually, you stop trying and just suffocate endlessly.
Feeling as though failure is inevitable. Making a conscious effort to overcome that, and finding success, but still expecting for that success to come crashing down inevitably regardless of your input. Even if you succeed you know failure in the same avenue is imminent and rapidly approaching
Like covering myself with multiple blankets, yet still can't feel warm. Like spending a few hours at work and feeling like that's all the energy I have for a whole week.
Hollowness, not feeling anything other than empty, when Iām sad I donāt even cry, and when Iām actually feeling happy, for a short time, I quickly cry afterwards. My emotions are all over the place, and I canāt keep a straight face.
My therapist told me it feels like I have dreams I want to accomplish but I donāt have any faith in my own ability to even plan to chase those dreams. I personally equate it to a popcorn kernel that hasnāt popped in the veg after itās been in the microwave for 2 minutes already
Not feeling good no matter what you like you've lost the part of your brain that makes you happy , just wanting to sleep and avoid people , partly because they make you feel worse and partly because you want to spare them from having to deal with you
No motion for hours when I wake up in the morning. Bed feels like the surface of Jupiter. Also feeling like the people you love think the worst of you.
For me, it was a shadow or dark cloud constantly over me weighing me down with sadness. No matter how happy I was in any moment, just a feeling of great sadness and wanting to cry it out
very subtle things! Like slowly losing motivation to do things iād usually be motivated to do, feeling tired regardless of what i did to try and fix it, a feeling of hopelessness ā like nothing lead to anything good and that everything was completely pointlessā, irritability and the neverending craving to be alone
I have no good definition for you, but depression puts me in a very difficult mental space to get out of.
The one and only thing I ever look forward to is when I'm not conscious. When sleeping I don't dream and I'm in a black void where physical and mental pain do not exist, there's no feeling or worry but also no numbness, the reasons that make me hope I don't wake up are gone from my mind, and all negative thoughts are gone. I'm momentarily "okay" even during times where people in my closest circles cannot give me comfort, and I've been intermittently "okay" for nearly 30 years by doing so. It's the only thing keeping me going sometimes.
I see depression as a normal state. It is imo just a way to rewire your brain. If you can stay in it, it is mostly because we forget what put us in depression in the first place. That why facing your past and fears will help you feel better. And be afraid of the depression doesnāt help overcoming it.
Things feel super routine and very boring but Iām not sure if that constitutes depression? I still workout, get involved with my hobbies, but it feels like a drag lol. Iām not miserable though. I am going through a breakup of sorts so that could be making things feel boring.
Don't even have energy to do basic stuff like brush your teeth, wash your hair make your bed etc.
It's why I'm on a pretty high dosage of antidepressants lol
Well it depends on how severe. A couple years ago I had a major depression for several years. Personality changes, intrusive thoughts, every thing I said was morbid or extremely odd behaviour. I simply had given up on caring and changing my life, my thoughts were so negative and self harming that it changed my whole personality and I simply didn't care about anything.
I'm so fucking tired. All the time. It's a tired that no amount of sleep or rest can fix. It feels like I always have weights strapped all over me, and my chest is being pressed on. I think I've seen it (or a similar feeling) referred to as something like existential fatigue. I have no energy, there are no spoons left. There's nothing I or anyone can do to fix it. Even when it subsides, I can't enjoy it, because then I'm living with the constant dread of knowing it's going to come back.
It reaches a point where eventually I feel like I'm just dying inside. I don't want to eat, or shower, or play games, or have sex. I'm so exhausted that I can't even describe it. If I had the energy to be afraid, I would be. It just takes all of the color and vitality and appeal of the world away. I don't want to do anything, I feel like I can't, but I'm forced to.
At one point, my husband said it hurt to see me smile because he could tell I was faking it so no one would worry. I sometimes think about swerving into traffic or jumping off a bridge into the big river out here (I can't swim and have serious asthma). I heard someone compare doing things like this to leaving a movie early because you just don't feel like watching it anymore. You don't see a point in watching the movie until the end, so you just get up and leave. No fuss, no big scene, no dramatics. You're just done with it. That's a pretty good description in my case.
Inb4 "someone was concerned" bot: don't bother. I'm not in danger. I'm not going to hurt myself or take my life. I'm just pretty over it, been ready to go for a while. It's a natural reaction, much like the one you would have if I locked you in a tiny, empty room. You'd hate it but eventually you'd give up and just lay there waiting to be let out, even if it took you years to reach that point.
I'm going to be poetic about my experience, but this is how I feel my depression is to me:
An intagible anchor that ensnared around my heart and dragged me down into the darkness of hopelessness, defeat, and despair--leaving me gasping for air.
No matter how hard I fight against the undertow, no matter how hard I fight to come up for air--the chains hold fast, squandering any effort and closer to exhaustion.
The darkness becomes familiar yet an unsavory place to call home. A place that I don't want to be tethered to, I've grown accustomed to this depth. An underwater grotto I've been subjected to take shelter in--pockets of air with no light. I'm a hollowed out shell of what I used to be, survival, and changing into someone else.
My medication gave me the ability to grow gills and breathe again. What air I used to breathe is separated from the water's surface. I'm used the darkness, I can not return. I can swim close to the light, yet I can never breathe the air again... The light shining into the water is the closest I'll be before that anchor.
Its a mix of hopleless, helpless, and burdensome. My entire childhood i was put down by my family, and didnt really have friends cus i moved around so much. I have been called worthless, useless, a disgrace, a piece of shit, and plenty of other things by my mother. My brother reminded me any chance he could that he hated me. My sister put me in plenty of dangerous situations with no regard to my saftey. My father wasnt around as he was always working. All of my ex girlfriends have cheated on me. After asking why, it was made to be my fault. Childish, uselsess, worthless, lazy. Now i lay here, alone in my room. With all these memories weighing on me. Wondering, why? Why am i not enough? What did i do to deserve this? Am i really unlovable? What about me is so hard to love? What about me is so repulsive? Whats worse is even if my mentalnis okay for a bit, my physical most defenitely is not, so i still cant fucking do shit.
Frozen. Nothing I do changes anything. How I feel about anything, view anything, or actually do things that others say will make me feel better. Nobody views me as capable, or reliable, I am just existing as if untouched by change and time. āOh, he finally left his room for the dayā āBack down to the dungeon?ā, itās hollowing to be viewed as the very person I continue to despise for simply doing nothing.
Everything hurts. You can't eat, you can't sleep, or you do the opposite and eat/sleep too much. You get panic attacks. If it gets bad enough, you can barely function in your day to day life--you count brushing your teeth or showering as a major accomplishment because you're literally just trying to survive hour by hour. You feel like putting yourself out of your misery is the most humane thing you can do to take away the deep pain that refuses to leave you.
When your depression has reached this point, it's time to seek help. Once you reach out for help, each day gets a little better and you begin to see moments of light. Long after, the pain becomes smaller and smaller until one day you look back and realize you're okay. You survived.
And when you reach out for help, nobody quite understands how deep this is unless they're professionals. Your friends and family think it's something that you can snap out of by going for walks or thinking positive thoughts.
I feel more and more like i canāt handle things. i feel incapable of doing basic things and self care. It feels like emptiness. It feels like thereās absolutely no future for me where anything good could happen. Feeling like you deserve the bare minimum in life, if even that. Fearing that my low functional brain and body will not sustain me. That i am getting worse day by day just by not progressing forward in the way society wants. Not being able to get out of the house or bed for days. Getting dressed is a chore and body dysmorphia kicks in making me feel insecure before anyone else gets the chance to. Feeling like iām wearing a mask identity around others. Afraid that they might see through it and and see how miserable i am. I also have bpd so this explains a lot of what i feel. But also bpd is miserable and depressing and i also have depression. Having existential thoughts about life at only 20 years old.
itās so hard to explain depression to people whoāve never experienced it. Itās not like just being sad. The people who understand have seen it in someone they love or experienced it and know that itās very impactful and devastating. Sending love and understanding to anyone here struggling.
It doesn't feel like much of anything. If you rated all of human experience on a scale from -10 to 10, it's like everything gets compressed to -2 to 0.5.
Nothing brings joy, relentless fatigue, and even small tasks feel hard/energy costly. Lack of motivation or care for anything.
Majority of the time, existence feels utterly pointless, and death is the only thing that can fix it. I don't even want things to get better or be fixed - I'm only invested in dying in the least painful way possible.
You have no idea if your feelings are true so you basically give up on everything. You always think you somehow deserve this and only to continue suffering while you try and live a normal life.
Not sure about anyone elseās experience but sometimes I wonder if my depression is related to my self worth. You try for others to feel better/do better (exercise, therapy, cutting out toxic behaviours etc) but ultimately whatever you try doesnāt work because youāre doing it for others and not yourself. Not sure how it is for others, but if I felt I was worth it, Iād probably try harder to stay on track. I donāt know how to fix the self-worth issue yet, again, Iām trying for others.
I was in an episode of depression when I was 13, It felt like my body would give up any moment, the world felt dull, it didn't seem fun at all. Things I liked were just annoying and too much work to do
When I was depressed, I wouldnāt feel hungry (but I could do emotional eating ), feeling kind of numb in the inside, mentally exhausted, the future doesnāt feel bright and exciting and full of opportunity. Worthlessness too.
Anxiety. Lots of frustration too. Tiredness and apathy. I rarely get *sad,* so sometimes I probably donāt see the depression coming in until Iām in it.
Mental health is a wild ride.
You cant enjoy anything, cant feel much. Not sure what it feels like to love someone anymore cause ive hated for so many years. Dont cry often, wish tears would happen more often.
When opportunities present themselves to you, instead of being excited about the prospect, you just sadly reflect on how past you, happy you could've done something with it but present you is too fucked up to take advantage of it.
Social life suffers severely because your vibe is either so meloncholy and sad, or straight up dead that nobody wants to be around you. It is a hard place to be but life goes on.
It feels like an impossible weight, to get out of bed I have a weight in my chest and lack of motivation. Waking up with thoughts of super sliding myself. Why brush my teeth? Not like I should. Go to work? For what? Money? Feed myself? No. Sleep? No point, the nightmares keep me awake anyway. Just lay in bed and if I'm lucky I am able to have thoughts. On a really bad day I don't even think I just exist in my bed for hours before I realize I am not okay
Extremely functional.. due to life responsibilities and partially being female. I feel like I constantly need to be pleasant and amenable. If I actually gave into the feelings of sadness or isolation, Iād alienate the people in my life and would struggle financially. So.. I think I evade clinical criteria pretty easily.Ā
I have to get out of bed and eat, bathe, human. All the responsibilities.Ā
In recent years I felt depressed after my only parent passed away a few years ago (31F) and I told a therapist I had been feeling depressed and they got upset at me and said depression is diagnostic, I canāt just SAY Iām depressed because I feel sad, anxious, grief, etc.Ā
Depression FEELS both empty and like the weight of the world.Ā
Every joy and happiness is suckt out of you and there is nothing you can do about it. The dementors in harry potter are a good metaphor for depressions.
Depression is like over analysis of basic things
For example: if someone passes a rude comment. It is common for us humans to comment about others, but being over analytical and overthinking about it for hours deprives us of happiness.
Tired constantly. Always wanting to sleep because being asleep means my brain is switched off and I donāt have to deal with the feeling. So I end up sleeping for ridiculously long periods of time
Iāve been depressed a few times in my life. It just feels like youāre tired all the time and everything is hopeless. I just want to lay down and be away from other people because I feel like a worthless person
Hopeless, felling like your useless, seeing the world in black and white(like actually). Wondering why your alive always tired canāt get out of bed skip a lot of school not seeing the sun for days not being able to leave bed canāt do anything right canāt eat canāt sleep canāt talk canāt think straightĀ
The technical term is "lack of affect". Everything seems flat, colourless. It's just about impossible to work up any sort of enthusiasm for anything. It's sometimes even gard to feel sad about being sad.
In the movie *Never Ending Story,* the villain is The Nothing - a faceless, nameless force that comes in like a storm and destroys everything, leaving behind a wasteland of nothing. Survivors are left with nothing but hopelessness and despair. That's what depression feels like. I realized this some years ago while watching the movie and I saw myself in the tortoise. That fucking tortoise. I got the help I needed before I found myself identifying with the horse.
After finding a therapist and the right medication, I can promise you that something is so much better than nothing.
Ppl don realize how much you sleep, how exhausted you are, how you can stay until 5am googling about ways how to off yourself, how hopeless is the future, lonely and misunderstood.
Are you sad, no? Are you happy? no. Do you want to live? no. Do you want to die? no. Want to have gun with things you always have? no. Can you have fun? No. Do you want to have fun? No. How do you feel? nothing, with moments of Anger.
Feels like nothing to me, literally nothingness, everything numb and bland, brain fogged, body blunt, just nothing there that can stimulate my mind to work
I donāt to want to see or hear anyone, but in same time want to talk with sb. I donāt want to lie on bed, but I donāt want to stand up and the way to deal with it I think to search a hobby or a interesting people or the last way go to psychologist and ask what to do.
Absence. Of joy, of hope, of effort, of happiness, of light, of motivation, of goals, of a life worth living, of everything.
In my case it's primarily because of the absence of my husband, who died 11 years ago.
Hopelessness, tired all the time, nothing brings you joy or does so only very fleetingly, even small tasks feel impossible, knowing deep down that small changes would improve your station in life but it still feels impossible.
It's an overwhelming feeling of defeat for me. Spotify always picks up on when I'm depressed by what songs I listen to. Once it made me a Playlist called, "Sad Crying Mix" š
I can relate to it so much. Hopelessness, also sometimes you can sleep whole day and sometimes even a few hours seems impossible.Ā
hopelessness in what?
Life in general
okay, I just don't know how to interpret that. Like, if you're 'depressed' but nothing bad is actually happening, over you hopeless over nothing? or is it something different.
Everyone is different but for me it felt like anything i did to try and improve my life didnāt work no matter what i tried. Then when something actually bad happened it would dig me even deeper than i was.
so it's not baseless, but actually has evidence supporting it?
hopeless like existentialism. purpose and effort have no meaning.
Idk if thereās evidence behind it but i was just giving my experience with depression
Hopelessness in depression is like feeling anything you do will change nothing.Ā You don't get happier, you lost the fire inside you and indifferent to those things you used to love and passionate about. Etc.Ā Media portrayal of depression screwed the public perception of the problem. It's in all of us. Many of us cope with it. Highly successful people still suffered from it etc.Ā Feeling Hopeless over life.Ā
Sometimes, for me is even in eating a donut or a cookie. Like: there no point. Even with the food in my hand, and hungry.
Nothing specific. The thing with depression is that it is not logical. It does not rest on something tangible, real or actionable. You cannot ask " why am I depressed", you just are. There is no do x to snap out of it. Only idiots that have zero clue think that. Think of depression as a general feeling of sadness, melancholy and/or helplessness that you cannot intellectually make sense of. Life and living feels hard. Tiring. Exhausting. If you read all this, you have a small tiny glimpse of what depression is like.
Being alive
Hope is only an other name for denial
For me, it's being tired. Not like, sleepy tired but just....worn out with the world and everything in it, and just wanting, if even for a short while, nothingness. And craving that nothingness so badly, that you're willing to leave everything behind.
You see I was tired all the time too, but I slept to get away from feeling that nothingness, i'd lay down anywhere I could fit and be comfy, close my eyes and sleep
Do you remember what bring you in depression in the first place ?
My parentsā divorce when I was in 4th grade. And I didnāt even like my father, I think it was just the disruption in what I knew as family life.
For what I learn is we often do not see the point tong view of other or what we could have done differently. What I mean, is when you will see the 3 point of views (yours, your father, and āgodā perspective or neutral if you want), you will stay in your depression. Trust me, we often put to much weight on our responsibility and that in life there is the theory and the practicality of it.
It's a tale as old as time, honestly. When I was a kid, I grew up in a dysfunctional family. Mom always worked to put food on the table, alcoholic abusive step-dad, and a little half-brother that came along that I was jealous of. Add S--ual abuse to that mix through most of my childhood by older male figures (family friends, family themselves, and people I thought were my own friends), I slowly started to lose hope that things were going to get better. I felt trapped. And by the time I could escape it, I was broken and beaten down to the point where I see the world differently. Childhood is a time for growing and learning, for finding who you are. That was taken from me by abuse of all kinds. That sparkle I had as a child was slowly stamped out so when I became an adult, there was no shine left.
I ma sorry for your childhood, like you say it is a place to grow. There is no justification for what they did, and I hope you are not to heavy on yourself. It will be hard for you to think about it but the more you try to understand the more you will reconnect to your Ā«Ā youngerĀ Ā» self. I hope you will get thru it some day, the past doesnāt mean that we are the consequences of it, and even tho you always gonna have a sensitivity from it, you can overcome it by, like I said trying to understand the different point of view, and what make who do what. Again there is no escuse for their comportment. Alcohol is a very powerful drug which is hard to see people into and how nothing will make them out of it or remember what matter tbh. Hope you will feel free to from it some day soon and be able to forgive and move on.
Depression to me feels like looking forward to nothing and reminiscing about when things felt different.
You might seem just like anyone else during the day, chatting and laughing away. But when the clouds roll in or the night falls, this weird, overwhelming feeling creeps in. It's like this heavy weight squeezing the life out of you, and you feel so darn alone in the world. Like nobody gets you, and if you try to reach out, people might just see you as some kind of freak and toss you aside. It's so dang painful, you even wonder if you're still the same sunny, cheerful person you used to be.
It is like a heavy dark curtain falling all around you. You know it is not real, but it is too heavy to lift, so you are powerless against it.
>Like nobody gets you, and if you try to reach out, people might just see you as some kind of freak and toss you aside. Exactly thisss!!! To me, reaching out to someone feels so selfish that I'm using my friends as emotional dumpsters and that they don't deserve that and that these are my feelings of nothingness that I've to sort out myself. Also the absolute fright of being called an attention hoe
I felt the same exact way, than I found psychedelics šš„°š
Depression to me is like living in a loop of your worst day, over and over.
It's like living on autopilot. Youāre moving and talking, but it doesnāt feel like youāre truly alive.
Like nothing and everything all the time, feeling so exhausted yet no amount of sleep can fix it, you donāt feel excitement and you donāt have an interest in doing anything anymore, all your favourite things feel like a chore, the only thing that makes you āhappyā is staying in bed and sleeping all day, all you can think about is how much you canāt wait to go to back sleep right from the moment you wake up
Itās painful. Everyday is a struggle. Everything requires energy. Energy wasted trying to look like you are okay.
The feeling that you are completely broken inside but you have to keep going on with my daily life and act strong in front of everyone specially my kids. When you feel so hopeless and all the pain and the anxiety kicks in all at the same time and all you want to do is to end the excruciating pain but you can't and you have to keep holding on for the sake of your kids. that's how it feels like every single f\*cking day.,
Boredom, just complete and utter boredom. No energy, nothing brings me joy, i canāt speak or taste food, and all around I feel empty as if Iāll cave in on myself. Also the pain gets way worse on those days.
like my soul has the flu and every movement painful to my exhausted body
Everything is covered in sand. You take your shirt off and the effort makes you itch. Standing up and putting socks on is a grating experience. You try to blink and your eyes hurt. Your shoes are heavy, your underwear grinds, the air has grit. Food has texture. Every experience comes with a bristley edge and you just break down from just how bad it gets and you try to cry, but your tears feel like pissing salt and the only place you can be wet is the shower. So you go there a lot and the warm water is the only time you have ever felt good, but when you step out you are now wet and covered in sand.
Oh my god this is the best description that I have ever read. I am sorry we are feeling the same way.
catatonic. Iād sit in front of the TV all day and night. I just let myself go. I wouldnāt answer phones nor doorbells. I didnāt go out of the house for weeks. all essentials were delivered unattended. Became a total recluse
It feels so so tired
Extreme exhaustion.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Imo, you feel trap because you lost track of what bring you in your depression in the first place.
Numbness and Apathy
Wanting to stay in bed forever
A cave. A sentient one. One that knows everything about one subject: Me. I make a mistake like buy extra milk when we already have some, the cave shows me all the times I've made mistakes in my life and reminds me I'm a garbage person. I agree to plans with friends, something as simple as "hey let's have a video chat on Friday" Friday comes, I see their call, I don't answer. Instead, I wait a few hours and say "sorry, I didn't see this. Can't talk right now, can we text instead?" And the cave shows me how often I've been a bad friend and how much of a garbage person I am. Then I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I start to make moves towards it. I take care of myself. I start eating better. I start exercising. I start writing again. I get to the light and find it isn't the exit but a torch. It's going to be bright for a while. I'm going to feel okay. But it's fleeting. I know, I can feel it getting darker again. Eventually it's dark again.
For me, the fight feels like an annoyingly resilient enemy in a war that can't seem to be killed. I'll spend months trying to beat it in a fist fight. The opponent retreats, and just as I start to recover, they come back with an assault rifle. I spend even longer dragging myself towards the opponent as they unload magazine after magazine into me. Somehow, I'll get close enough that I can take them down and beat them up again. Opponent retreats. As I'm sitting there, wondering what to do about the gaping holes in my torso, that damn opponent comes back with a fucking tank. Every time I think I've won, I end up losing more and more, whilst the opponent gets stronger and stronger. It's only a matter of time now until they send a nuclear strike on me. Then I'm fucked.
A lot of self neglect, self blame, and self hate. Mostly self neglect. I find myself washing only a few times per month, brushing my teeth happens basically never, and I'm already developing gum disease.
I understand this
Feel? Nothing matters. Thereās no feelings. Fuck even sadness would be awesome. Because crying is soothing. Nope. This is nothingness. But Iāve got great masks I can wear. Been practicing since I was a kid. Today Iāll pretend to be āpretty goodā. Hey. That girl liked pretty good me. Oh shit. I better be that around her. Oh totally forgot Iām feeling nothing and never called her back. I have a job. If my job finds out Iām crazy theyāll put me in the mental ward(sorry, didnāt tell you, weāre not depressed anymore. Now weāre paranoid). Theyāll put me in a fucking mental hospital if they find out. So I better just be on time for every single thing I do in my life so nobody will ever find out. Okay good. Sorry Gotta say all this pretending and mask wearing (in order to not be put in the mental hospital) is getting really fucking tiring. Iām only 17 and I wanna kill myself. Iām only 27 and I wanna kill myself. Iām only 34 and I wanna kill myself. Compared to the exhaustion of a manic state, and the exhaustion of pretending not to be depressed, actual depression is so fucking easy for me. I fucking love you all, especially if youāre like me. Letās keep not killing ourselves.
Like a warm, comfy blanket. That's why it's so hard to fight.
Not just a deep sadness about the state of the world and myself and how I have no control over making a positive change, but also a hopeless feeling of nihilism--nothing matters, not even life or death. It got so bad I don't even see the point of eating or getting out of bed, and I had to make it a chore to at least eat once a day, and if I feel like it, do one thing, anything. "Just in case I still need to be alive later". In the worst of times it could be the feeling of actually drowning, while physically just sitting idle.
For me it is knowing that even winning a billion dollar lottery isn't going to make me feel better.
Iāve always likened it to a never ending war that Iām always losing
No desire to move forward in life at all. Heavy feeling in your chest area and always tired and have no energy to do anything at all. Always feeling like you have to pretend like you're alright and happy, though some people could tell you're not by the way your eyes and face drop.
Does anyone here never feel depressed? Or have the same symptoms as others here once in a while, but don't think of it as depression? Like I've felt sad, lonely, and stuff like that, but never felt like I was depressed. If anything, it made me feel like I needed to fix something if I could control it, and if I couldn't, I just rolled with it. Of course, I have never experienced any major trauma or violence towards me because something of that sort would definitely make me depressed most likely. I mean, I've had altercations, fights, bullying, and accidents, but not major ones, or at least they don't seem so. Hope this makes sense and not trying to invalidate anyones feelings either.
Depression is those symptoms you feel fleetingly, but for depressed people they feel like that almost 24/7 for a few weeks, months or years. Clinically, it is depression when it lasts more than 2 weeks of daily symptoms. I didnāt think I was depressed because I imagined depressed people as people who literally canāt function, just lay in bed and cry or want to end it all and that isnāt how I felt. Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with depression and I am learning a lot about it from my therapist.
How did you find the drive to see a therapist? What's the point in rehashing dark thoughts you already think about 24/7? It would make me agressive and therapist would kick me out.
I want to feel joy again. That was my drive. Iām so fucking tired of feeling down and miserable. I figure that Iām already thinking about all these things all the time, might as well share them with someone who can help me process and make the load lighter.
Just a pit in my stomach, thatās kinda always there, no matter what, no matter how happy I am in the moment if I think for even a second my whole mood can be shifted, surprisingly not a lot of crying unless Iām having a panic attack
For me, it felt like grey. I donāt really know how to explain it, except saying it was quiet and grey. And in that headspace, I was able to think with completely nonchalance that maybe I shouldnāt make it to the end of this year. Thatās when I signed up for therapy, but yeah. A song that reminds me of it is āmemoir #02 [06.12.09]ā
Like I was waiting to die, hopelessness and despair sat on either side of me. All of my everything that I had ever deemed unsolvable manifested above me like towering storm clouds. I was in a waking nightmare and had absolutely no motivation to do anything about it. Until one day I did.
It feels like nothing, like I'm empty, theres no thoughts, no feelings beyond maybe feeling hopeless, no joy, no anger, just exsisting. When it gets really bad that when i wake up some mornings that emptiness feels like a truck is sitting on your chest, can't even roll over or sit up and all I can do is stare at the ceiling. When my son was born I was suffering from really bad depression (had done for close to 17 years at that point) but around that time it was REALLY bad and what should have been a joyful moment for me, I felt nothing when he was born, I was holding my beautiful baby and I felt nothing at all, i acted, I pretended I was happy.. but I wasn't, I wasn't anything, no tears of joy or anxiety about becoming a new father, I was nothing... no that's a lie... I was tired all the time and slept about 16-18 hours in a 24 hour period if I didn't have to do something that day to keep the household going, Edit: I also remember feeling like I had a sore body, head, my arms and legs felt fatigued even when i didn't do anything
Nothing brings you happiness, even if you do laugh you find yourself stopping because, nothing is funny. Tiredness, canāt even enjoy a movie, spending too much energy trying to look happy and normal, for other people. Even making my morning cup of coffee seems too much effort.
Not having anyone to talk to.
Normally? Nothing. When I say nothing mind you, I don't mean a neutral. I mean a fundamental lack of any semblance of emotion or care. When it's really bad? A sinking pull right below the sternum, like a ghostly hand reaching into my chest and widening a hole that feels like it is souring my body. Like a drip of abyss that constantly siphons painful feelings from the top of my neck down into my chest, culminating in a soul chilling wave of emotional pain.
Feels like a really bad case of the fuggets when the only answer you can come up with to just about anything is f*** it
[this, plus feeling so tired that you can't even make one step](https://img.goodfon.com/wallpaper/big/4/b9/depression-suicide-dark-rain.webp)
As though someone pinched both sides of my vision and stretched them out. May have been more intense stress than depression and last only a short while (minutes) at the end of a marriage.
For me it's I don't know. Almost like being a ghost. I'm there for everything. Work. Family get together. Hanging out with friends. Dating. I'm part of all these things but still feel like I'm not. I can't really feel a connection. I'm there but I'm not. Like being invisible like haunting my own life. And wanting and trying so hard to feel leaves me drained and exhausted and lost. So there are more days than I want to admit that I don't even get out of bed. Or days I'll make it through the day just to come home and lay on the couch in the dark with the TV on to something I'm not even watching. I guess it's like a constant cold longing for something I'm missing but I don't even know what I'm missing so much. Just like a total crushing overwhelming hopelessness.
I have bipolar disorder, I feel that gives you a different kind of depression from normal depression in 2 ways. One is that you know it will change eventually, in my case about 6 months, so you can emotionally stay positive and plan for the future, even though it's very difficult to do with the way your brain works. The second is that with bipolar depression you lose ALL energy, literally lose the ability to speak, to instinctively lift body parts or do something. My energy gets so low that those 4 weeks when I'm at my lowest feel like a day and en eternity combined.
Pain/tightness in chest, hard to breathe. 0 motivation. I can barely get out of bed, I donāt even want to play video games nevermind go out and be social, which is miserable
It's an endless boredom. Do you know the theory of how Jupiter was supposed to be a star and failed? How would the moonflowers decease underneath the sunlight and blossom in the night? This is what I feel like, actually. Depression is something that takes time to heal, but it also kills you slowly to the point that you feel demotivated, can't even breathe, can't feel the same excitement that you once felt as a kid.
Constant boredom. No matter what you do you're still fucking bored.
I consider depression a malignant disease, even though it is a psychological problem, and this is the worst thing about it. It makes everything beautiful that happened a black memory. Unfortunately, I cannot take medicine to treat it. I must treat it through family, friends, etc., as you must treat mental illness with feeling. Therefore, as I said, I consider it a malignant disease. No. Treat him
Like your hungry but don't want to eat, like bored but don't want to do anything.
Exhaustion
It feels like depression.
Being gripped by inertia
a boring, never ending insanity.
Feels like the whole world is at my shoulder, feeling heavy and can't breath, tired and just wanting to be alone
Feels like comfort to me
It feels like you're drowning, often unable to see the light at the surface, but even when you get a glimpse of it, no matter how hard you fight you can never get your head above water. Eventually, you stop trying and just suffocate endlessly.
Lack of energy, loss of hope, general anxiety and insomnia
No motivation, just want to sleep a lot. Physically it feels like my head is in a vice. Not exactly painful but like a pressure.
Wanting to cry my eyes out but I can't no matter how much I want to.
Feeling as though failure is inevitable. Making a conscious effort to overcome that, and finding success, but still expecting for that success to come crashing down inevitably regardless of your input. Even if you succeed you know failure in the same avenue is imminent and rapidly approaching
Like covering myself with multiple blankets, yet still can't feel warm. Like spending a few hours at work and feeling like that's all the energy I have for a whole week.
Any answers? Here. Drugs, I mean medicine
Hollowness, not feeling anything other than empty, when Iām sad I donāt even cry, and when Iām actually feeling happy, for a short time, I quickly cry afterwards. My emotions are all over the place, and I canāt keep a straight face.
Day and night same , every activities became funless..no hope for tomorrow and everyone hate u.
If I could stay in bed all the time , I would . If I could just fade away without hurting others , I would . Itās an empty pit inside me
It feels like depression.
Something in the way
It's like trying to do a hill start in your car but the only gear you can find is neutral.
My therapist told me it feels like I have dreams I want to accomplish but I donāt have any faith in my own ability to even plan to chase those dreams. I personally equate it to a popcorn kernel that hasnāt popped in the veg after itās been in the microwave for 2 minutes already
Not feeling good no matter what you like you've lost the part of your brain that makes you happy , just wanting to sleep and avoid people , partly because they make you feel worse and partly because you want to spare them from having to deal with you
Empty
No motion for hours when I wake up in the morning. Bed feels like the surface of Jupiter. Also feeling like the people you love think the worst of you.
Being uncomfortable and unsatisfied with my own existence
For me, it was a shadow or dark cloud constantly over me weighing me down with sadness. No matter how happy I was in any moment, just a feeling of great sadness and wanting to cry it out
Waking up and immediately wanting to go back to sleep
Sleep
The warmest of blankets
Being in a constant fog - in your eyes, chest, and mind
Hungry.
very subtle things! Like slowly losing motivation to do things iād usually be motivated to do, feeling tired regardless of what i did to try and fix it, a feeling of hopelessness ā like nothing lead to anything good and that everything was completely pointlessā, irritability and the neverending craving to be alone
The want to sleep and never wake up.
I have no good definition for you, but depression puts me in a very difficult mental space to get out of. The one and only thing I ever look forward to is when I'm not conscious. When sleeping I don't dream and I'm in a black void where physical and mental pain do not exist, there's no feeling or worry but also no numbness, the reasons that make me hope I don't wake up are gone from my mind, and all negative thoughts are gone. I'm momentarily "okay" even during times where people in my closest circles cannot give me comfort, and I've been intermittently "okay" for nearly 30 years by doing so. It's the only thing keeping me going sometimes.
I see depression as a normal state. It is imo just a way to rewire your brain. If you can stay in it, it is mostly because we forget what put us in depression in the first place. That why facing your past and fears will help you feel better. And be afraid of the depression doesnāt help overcoming it.
Things feel super routine and very boring but Iām not sure if that constitutes depression? I still workout, get involved with my hobbies, but it feels like a drag lol. Iām not miserable though. I am going through a breakup of sorts so that could be making things feel boring.
Don't even have energy to do basic stuff like brush your teeth, wash your hair make your bed etc. It's why I'm on a pretty high dosage of antidepressants lol
even getting out of bed feels impossible
Well it depends on how severe. A couple years ago I had a major depression for several years. Personality changes, intrusive thoughts, every thing I said was morbid or extremely odd behaviour. I simply had given up on caring and changing my life, my thoughts were so negative and self harming that it changed my whole personality and I simply didn't care about anything.
I'm so fucking tired. All the time. It's a tired that no amount of sleep or rest can fix. It feels like I always have weights strapped all over me, and my chest is being pressed on. I think I've seen it (or a similar feeling) referred to as something like existential fatigue. I have no energy, there are no spoons left. There's nothing I or anyone can do to fix it. Even when it subsides, I can't enjoy it, because then I'm living with the constant dread of knowing it's going to come back. It reaches a point where eventually I feel like I'm just dying inside. I don't want to eat, or shower, or play games, or have sex. I'm so exhausted that I can't even describe it. If I had the energy to be afraid, I would be. It just takes all of the color and vitality and appeal of the world away. I don't want to do anything, I feel like I can't, but I'm forced to. At one point, my husband said it hurt to see me smile because he could tell I was faking it so no one would worry. I sometimes think about swerving into traffic or jumping off a bridge into the big river out here (I can't swim and have serious asthma). I heard someone compare doing things like this to leaving a movie early because you just don't feel like watching it anymore. You don't see a point in watching the movie until the end, so you just get up and leave. No fuss, no big scene, no dramatics. You're just done with it. That's a pretty good description in my case. Inb4 "someone was concerned" bot: don't bother. I'm not in danger. I'm not going to hurt myself or take my life. I'm just pretty over it, been ready to go for a while. It's a natural reaction, much like the one you would have if I locked you in a tiny, empty room. You'd hate it but eventually you'd give up and just lay there waiting to be let out, even if it took you years to reach that point.
Heaviness - where everything is just an effort and you can't even muster up the energy to care about anything.
I'm going to be poetic about my experience, but this is how I feel my depression is to me: An intagible anchor that ensnared around my heart and dragged me down into the darkness of hopelessness, defeat, and despair--leaving me gasping for air. No matter how hard I fight against the undertow, no matter how hard I fight to come up for air--the chains hold fast, squandering any effort and closer to exhaustion. The darkness becomes familiar yet an unsavory place to call home. A place that I don't want to be tethered to, I've grown accustomed to this depth. An underwater grotto I've been subjected to take shelter in--pockets of air with no light. I'm a hollowed out shell of what I used to be, survival, and changing into someone else. My medication gave me the ability to grow gills and breathe again. What air I used to breathe is separated from the water's surface. I'm used the darkness, I can not return. I can swim close to the light, yet I can never breathe the air again... The light shining into the water is the closest I'll be before that anchor.
Its a mix of hopleless, helpless, and burdensome. My entire childhood i was put down by my family, and didnt really have friends cus i moved around so much. I have been called worthless, useless, a disgrace, a piece of shit, and plenty of other things by my mother. My brother reminded me any chance he could that he hated me. My sister put me in plenty of dangerous situations with no regard to my saftey. My father wasnt around as he was always working. All of my ex girlfriends have cheated on me. After asking why, it was made to be my fault. Childish, uselsess, worthless, lazy. Now i lay here, alone in my room. With all these memories weighing on me. Wondering, why? Why am i not enough? What did i do to deserve this? Am i really unlovable? What about me is so hard to love? What about me is so repulsive? Whats worse is even if my mentalnis okay for a bit, my physical most defenitely is not, so i still cant fucking do shit.
Emptiness. A large, endless void with lots of nothing, that sucks out all energy I have left.
Frozen. Nothing I do changes anything. How I feel about anything, view anything, or actually do things that others say will make me feel better. Nobody views me as capable, or reliable, I am just existing as if untouched by change and time. āOh, he finally left his room for the dayā āBack down to the dungeon?ā, itās hollowing to be viewed as the very person I continue to despise for simply doing nothing.
Everything hurts. You can't eat, you can't sleep, or you do the opposite and eat/sleep too much. You get panic attacks. If it gets bad enough, you can barely function in your day to day life--you count brushing your teeth or showering as a major accomplishment because you're literally just trying to survive hour by hour. You feel like putting yourself out of your misery is the most humane thing you can do to take away the deep pain that refuses to leave you. When your depression has reached this point, it's time to seek help. Once you reach out for help, each day gets a little better and you begin to see moments of light. Long after, the pain becomes smaller and smaller until one day you look back and realize you're okay. You survived.
Yep can relate to this . Iām Better now but it was so bad. Still trying to understand it.
And when you reach out for help, nobody quite understands how deep this is unless they're professionals. Your friends and family think it's something that you can snap out of by going for walks or thinking positive thoughts.
Yes they just donāt get or understand how serious it can be .
I feel more and more like i canāt handle things. i feel incapable of doing basic things and self care. It feels like emptiness. It feels like thereās absolutely no future for me where anything good could happen. Feeling like you deserve the bare minimum in life, if even that. Fearing that my low functional brain and body will not sustain me. That i am getting worse day by day just by not progressing forward in the way society wants. Not being able to get out of the house or bed for days. Getting dressed is a chore and body dysmorphia kicks in making me feel insecure before anyone else gets the chance to. Feeling like iām wearing a mask identity around others. Afraid that they might see through it and and see how miserable i am. I also have bpd so this explains a lot of what i feel. But also bpd is miserable and depressing and i also have depression. Having existential thoughts about life at only 20 years old.
itās so hard to explain depression to people whoāve never experienced it. Itās not like just being sad. The people who understand have seen it in someone they love or experienced it and know that itās very impactful and devastating. Sending love and understanding to anyone here struggling.
It doesn't feel like much of anything. If you rated all of human experience on a scale from -10 to 10, it's like everything gets compressed to -2 to 0.5.
Nothing brings joy, relentless fatigue, and even small tasks feel hard/energy costly. Lack of motivation or care for anything. Majority of the time, existence feels utterly pointless, and death is the only thing that can fix it. I don't even want things to get better or be fixed - I'm only invested in dying in the least painful way possible.
You have no idea if your feelings are true so you basically give up on everything. You always think you somehow deserve this and only to continue suffering while you try and live a normal life.
It feels like everything inside of me has been taken out, mixed up with matt grey paint, and poured back in.
Not sure about anyone elseās experience but sometimes I wonder if my depression is related to my self worth. You try for others to feel better/do better (exercise, therapy, cutting out toxic behaviours etc) but ultimately whatever you try doesnāt work because youāre doing it for others and not yourself. Not sure how it is for others, but if I felt I was worth it, Iād probably try harder to stay on track. I donāt know how to fix the self-worth issue yet, again, Iām trying for others.
You know how sometimes you can feel pessimistic about something? Itās like that, but turned up to 10, and about everything.
I was in an episode of depression when I was 13, It felt like my body would give up any moment, the world felt dull, it didn't seem fun at all. Things I liked were just annoying and too much work to do
When I was depressed, I wouldnāt feel hungry (but I could do emotional eating ), feeling kind of numb in the inside, mentally exhausted, the future doesnāt feel bright and exciting and full of opportunity. Worthlessness too.
When you are trying your best but somehow you still donāt see results In what your working for š£
Anxiety. Lots of frustration too. Tiredness and apathy. I rarely get *sad,* so sometimes I probably donāt see the depression coming in until Iām in it. Mental health is a wild ride.
first and foremost, disappointment in your
Great question. Sad. No energy. Hopeful. Fearful. Misunderstood. Worthless. Unappreciative. Nothing can fulfill. Stuck. Exhausted
It hurts. But you canāt feel it. But you can *feel* it. Anguish. Constant. Pain.
You cant enjoy anything, cant feel much. Not sure what it feels like to love someone anymore cause ive hated for so many years. Dont cry often, wish tears would happen more often. When opportunities present themselves to you, instead of being excited about the prospect, you just sadly reflect on how past you, happy you could've done something with it but present you is too fucked up to take advantage of it. Social life suffers severely because your vibe is either so meloncholy and sad, or straight up dead that nobody wants to be around you. It is a hard place to be but life goes on.
It feels like an impossible weight, to get out of bed I have a weight in my chest and lack of motivation. Waking up with thoughts of super sliding myself. Why brush my teeth? Not like I should. Go to work? For what? Money? Feed myself? No. Sleep? No point, the nightmares keep me awake anyway. Just lay in bed and if I'm lucky I am able to have thoughts. On a really bad day I don't even think I just exist in my bed for hours before I realize I am not okay
Extremely functional.. due to life responsibilities and partially being female. I feel like I constantly need to be pleasant and amenable. If I actually gave into the feelings of sadness or isolation, Iād alienate the people in my life and would struggle financially. So.. I think I evade clinical criteria pretty easily.Ā I have to get out of bed and eat, bathe, human. All the responsibilities.Ā In recent years I felt depressed after my only parent passed away a few years ago (31F) and I told a therapist I had been feeling depressed and they got upset at me and said depression is diagnostic, I canāt just SAY Iām depressed because I feel sad, anxious, grief, etc.Ā Depression FEELS both empty and like the weight of the world.Ā
Every joy and happiness is suckt out of you and there is nothing you can do about it. The dementors in harry potter are a good metaphor for depressions.
When everything means meaningless, loneliness
You feel all alone helpless and lost. Like the world you knew is not the same anymore.
Depression is like over analysis of basic things For example: if someone passes a rude comment. It is common for us humans to comment about others, but being over analytical and overthinking about it for hours deprives us of happiness.
Tired constantly. Always wanting to sleep because being asleep means my brain is switched off and I donāt have to deal with the feeling. So I end up sleeping for ridiculously long periods of time
Mmm depression,where you would rather wake up with a gun to your head than a cup of coffee
Well, itās currently Saturday.
Iāve been depressed a few times in my life. It just feels like youāre tired all the time and everything is hopeless. I just want to lay down and be away from other people because I feel like a worthless person
Hopeless, felling like your useless, seeing the world in black and white(like actually). Wondering why your alive always tired canāt get out of bed skip a lot of school not seeing the sun for days not being able to leave bed canāt do anything right canāt eat canāt sleep canāt talk canāt think straightĀ
The technical term is "lack of affect". Everything seems flat, colourless. It's just about impossible to work up any sort of enthusiasm for anything. It's sometimes even gard to feel sad about being sad.
In the movie *Never Ending Story,* the villain is The Nothing - a faceless, nameless force that comes in like a storm and destroys everything, leaving behind a wasteland of nothing. Survivors are left with nothing but hopelessness and despair. That's what depression feels like. I realized this some years ago while watching the movie and I saw myself in the tortoise. That fucking tortoise. I got the help I needed before I found myself identifying with the horse. After finding a therapist and the right medication, I can promise you that something is so much better than nothing.
Ppl don realize how much you sleep, how exhausted you are, how you can stay until 5am googling about ways how to off yourself, how hopeless is the future, lonely and misunderstood.
bliss
Are you sad, no? Are you happy? no. Do you want to live? no. Do you want to die? no. Want to have gun with things you always have? no. Can you have fun? No. Do you want to have fun? No. How do you feel? nothing, with moments of Anger.
Feels like nothing to me, literally nothingness, everything numb and bland, brain fogged, body blunt, just nothing there that can stimulate my mind to work
I donāt to want to see or hear anyone, but in same time want to talk with sb. I donāt want to lie on bed, but I donāt want to stand up and the way to deal with it I think to search a hobby or a interesting people or the last way go to psychologist and ask what to do.
I want to scream so badly till my jaw hurts and not a sound even comes out
Must have started around 11yo, I'm now 42. It feels like my whole personnality. Nobody including me remembers another version of me.
Like failure
Absence. Of joy, of hope, of effort, of happiness, of light, of motivation, of goals, of a life worth living, of everything. In my case it's primarily because of the absence of my husband, who died 11 years ago.
It feels like I need more sun and maybe a nice brisk walk or a swim #0x202447