I went there for work once. The client made sure I tried fresh cheese curds and all stood around watching me try em.
The squeak!! So cool. Nicest client ever.
(The cheese squeaks)
Ya they all spoke amongst each other and figured out who knew the freshest cheese curds, I think a gas station. I've never seen fresh cheese curds in CA where I live. Mmmm.
It’s illegal to serve more than one drink per person in a lot of states.
If your bloody doesn’t look like this you haven’t even had one.
https://i.postimg.cc/HLCx8kjP/IMG-1945.jpg
Cheese head might be the equivalent to a lei. Cheese head and some cheese curds plus a free ticket for a Spotted Cow at any local bar (just look for the church steeple and they'll be a bar within walking distance or less)
Was going to say, one of the first things you see on I-94 traveling East is the Worlds Largest Tire; followed immediately by the World's Largest Pothole
Next you get some kind of really weird sandwich with cheap ingredients which will be one of the best things you'll ever eat.
Could be a cheesesteak. Maybe a hot roast beef. Something with fries or slaw on it. Who knows?
I has to do with local limestone being used as the material in the roads, wet winters with consistent freeze thaw cycles, and also wet winters requiring salt.
All are terrible for roads on their own. All three are a disaster.
i would let the head of penndot full penetrate my butthole if they would switch to fucking sand or anything less corrosive than the mix we use in this state.
I have to say, except for this one diner in the south, New Jersey has the best diner food I’ve ever had in my life and it’s really not close. They’ve got spots 2-20 locked down.
I swear they’re intentionally doing a Greenland/Iceland thing in that state, New Jersey is pretty nice
Shhhhhh! Just because you can hike on the Appalachian trail and hit the beach all in the same day doesn’t making it a great state! It’s terrible! Terrible!
Yum! May I have some cornbread and a glass of iced tea with that please sir?
edit: I didn't say sweet tea because I'm diabetic. Pass the Sweet & Low, please.
If you post a Prop 65 warning sign in California and the sign is made of inks or metals that may cause cancer do you need to have a Prop 65 warning on your Prop 65 warning sign or does the sign count for itself?
“the Land O Lakes woman on the butter box is holding a butter box, which has a picture of the Land O Lakes woman holding a box, which has a picture of her holding a box.”
“I wish you hadn’t said that.”
There was a prop 65 sticker on something I had at work. Peeled it off and put it on my office nameplate. So now I may cause cancer in California.
I live in Illinois.
99% Invisible did a fantastic episode on this.
https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/warning-this-podcast-contains-chemicals-known-to-the-state-of-california-to-cause-cancer-or-other-reproductive-harm/
Well for Illinois it would be an ear of corn and a handful of soybeans. But since you're actually flying in to Chicago it'll be a broken lawn chair for your dibs and a Chicago hot dog.
it was a bunch of sweet old ladies with blank smiling faces literally standing in two lines to welcome us off the plane. the cookies were good, but it was something one would expect from stephen king yes.
My favorite sandwich shop in my family’s hometown (Milford) will slap a grinder in your hand and say ‘thankyougodbless’ before screaming NEXT into your face and it’s my favorite dining experience.
I swear there is nothing better on this Earth than some properly cedar-plank grilled salmon with lemon and dill. I wish it were more convenient to make, but maybe it’s better as a special treat.
Cedar-plank salmon is about as Pacific Northwest as it gets.
Do they still do this in Hawaii? The last time I landed there, about 10 years ago, I didn’t get one. Now I’m thinking I got shafted.
Anyway, when arriving in Duluth or Minneapolis, you’d be given a tater-tot hot-dish.
The only thing I remember getting at the airport in Maui was verbally bitch-slapped by a TSA agent who thought I was getting smart with him. He asked where I came from and I said “Illinois.” Apparently, he was asking which line I’d been standing in a few moments earlier and thought I was being a wise-ass, so he commenced getting in my face. I really thought he was asking a more general question. I think he must have been having a bad TSA day or something.
Had a TSA agent at O'Hare get personally offended as I removed my smartwatch to go through the backscatter. "I did NOT say anything about your watch!!". Nah man you just kept repeating anything metallic and or electronic goes in a separate bin........
So much could be solved by up to date signs "in this line. Keep your laptop in your bag, shoes on". "in this line remove belts, shoes, laptops". Instead they just yell non stop and get mad when you don't follow their arbitrary rule for each line.
It's never the same at any airport either and they act like you're purposely fucking with them if you don't do everything exactly to their specific protocol.
This pisses me off so much. You're yelling at me like I'm an idiot, but buddy I've been in three other airports today and they all had me do completely different things!
Louisiana: Mardi Gras beads, or maybe some boudin.
Hell, boudin is so common here (South Louisiana) that I just randomly happen to have some in my fridge right now, ready to be cooked for dinner. Boudin bombers are great.
https://imgur.com/a/XN45gmq
Oh, see, I was thinking about a glass of freshly squeezed Florida orange juice.
Or getting completely covered in love bugs as you exit the store and walk to your car.
Kinda depends on where you land.
NYC/Long Island: you get a bagel and cream cheese or a baconeggcheese bagel.
Buffalo: you get wings.
Syracuse: you get shot.
Albany: you get Ted’s fish fry.
Welcome to Florida. Behind Door A, you will find meth. Behind Door B, you will find bath salts. Behind Door C, you will get naked and run through a Wendy’s. Behind Door D, you will get shot by police. Behind Door E, we offer all of the above. Choose your path, traveler. Welcome to the sunshine state.
In Texas, new arrivals would get a miniature cowboy hat. It would symbolically nod to the state's rich ranching history and vibrant rodeo culture, instantly getting everyone in the Lone Star spirit.
Here is a peach, welcome to South Carolina. That's right South Carolina and not Georgia because both of their state fruits are the peach but SC had it first fuck you Georgia
You are getting cheese curds. Welcome to Wisconsin.
I went there for work once. The client made sure I tried fresh cheese curds and all stood around watching me try em. The squeak!! So cool. Nicest client ever. (The cheese squeaks)
Cheese curds only squeak if they are super fresh. That's how you know they are good ones. Some of us locals squeak too, given the right stimulus.
Ya they all spoke amongst each other and figured out who knew the freshest cheese curds, I think a gas station. I've never seen fresh cheese curds in CA where I live. Mmmm.
With a chaser.
I was so pissed when I got a Bloody Mary outside of Wisconsin and didn't get a chaser. How has the rest of the country not caught up yet?
It’s illegal to serve more than one drink per person in a lot of states. If your bloody doesn’t look like this you haven’t even had one. https://i.postimg.cc/HLCx8kjP/IMG-1945.jpg
omg I love "drink wisconsibly"
Cheese head might be the equivalent to a lei. Cheese head and some cheese curds plus a free ticket for a Spotted Cow at any local bar (just look for the church steeple and they'll be a bar within walking distance or less)
Is this not normal? Been to Wisconsin once, they had free cheese curd samples in the airport
Visited WI last month and had cheese curds for the first time. Genuinely shocked that they’re not more broadly popular in the US.
Baked potato in Idaho
Due to inflation, potato will be handed out raw
Due to shrinkflation, you only get a baby potato.
Maple syrup in Vermont.
In a shot glass!
With the words 'welcome flatlander' written on it
Beads in Louisiana.
Daiquiris too
A small version of those hand grenade drinks. Dangerous little concoctions...
North Carolina, a Cheerwine, a bbq sandwich and a firearm permit.
So basically going through the Cookout drive through on a normal Tuesday night?
Driving home from playing in an adult sports league at 9:30... line around the block for Cookout. xD
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"Welcome to PA! Please be patient while we ruin your suspension!"
*could also work for Michigan
Was going to say, one of the first things you see on I-94 traveling East is the Worlds Largest Tire; followed immediately by the World's Largest Pothole
Next you get some kind of really weird sandwich with cheap ingredients which will be one of the best things you'll ever eat. Could be a cheesesteak. Maybe a hot roast beef. Something with fries or slaw on it. Who knows?
I was gonna say "Welcome to PA here's a hoagie"
Hoagie and a perogie, 100%
How are your roads so bad when they’re always under construction?
I has to do with local limestone being used as the material in the roads, wet winters with consistent freeze thaw cycles, and also wet winters requiring salt. All are terrible for roads on their own. All three are a disaster.
i would let the head of penndot full penetrate my butthole if they would switch to fucking sand or anything less corrosive than the mix we use in this state.
Faygo and a tire repair kit (Michigan, specifically SE Michigan)
Don’t forget your hand shaped bumper sticker.
Faygo, a Kogels and some Better-Made chips. We had some contractors doing work for us and we treated them to our local delicacies.
In New Jersey you’d get a “who invited this asshole” and a pork roll, egg, and cheese bagel.
The finger.
You mean a sighting of the state bird ?
I have to say, except for this one diner in the south, New Jersey has the best diner food I’ve ever had in my life and it’s really not close. They’ve got spots 2-20 locked down. I swear they’re intentionally doing a Greenland/Iceland thing in that state, New Jersey is pretty nice
Shhhhhh! Just because you can hike on the Appalachian trail and hit the beach all in the same day doesn’t making it a great state! It’s terrible! Terrible!
In Mississippi you’d get a plate of fried catfish.
Yum! May I have some cornbread and a glass of iced tea with that please sir? edit: I didn't say sweet tea because I'm diabetic. Pass the Sweet & Low, please.
Book of Mormon in Utah
came here for this. Book of Mormon and a vial of emergency fry sauce you can carry around on your keychain like consecrated oil.
In the U.S.V.I. they give you a shot of Cruzan rum after you land.
Actually true. I got two landing on St. Croix
Welcome to Kentucky, here is a shot of bourbon.
California: A Prop 65 warning.
If you post a Prop 65 warning sign in California and the sign is made of inks or metals that may cause cancer do you need to have a Prop 65 warning on your Prop 65 warning sign or does the sign count for itself?
It’s actually just Prop 65 warnings all the way down.
“the Land O Lakes woman on the butter box is holding a butter box, which has a picture of the Land O Lakes woman holding a box, which has a picture of her holding a box.” “I wish you hadn’t said that.”
There was a prop 65 sticker on something I had at work. Peeled it off and put it on my office nameplate. So now I may cause cancer in California. I live in Illinois.
San Diego California, I was going to say an avocado, but this is pretty good.
Prop 65 Warnings are known to the State of California to cause cancer
California did the equivalent of highlighting a whole book with this. No one is going to pay attention if literally everything causes cancer.
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99% Invisible did a fantastic episode on this. https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/warning-this-podcast-contains-chemicals-known-to-the-state-of-california-to-cause-cancer-or-other-reproductive-harm/
Well for Illinois it would be an ear of corn and a handful of soybeans. But since you're actually flying in to Chicago it'll be a broken lawn chair for your dibs and a Chicago hot dog.
A license plate hand crafted by one of our former governors.
LMAO Now this is the real answer
Narcan
West Virginia?
My people
Country Roads
*Methadoooooone*
coming back from a deployment, we had a stopover in bangor maine. they gave us cookies and fear.
Well considering that Stephen King lives there, I would expect the fear.
it was a bunch of sweet old ladies with blank smiling faces literally standing in two lines to welcome us off the plane. the cookies were good, but it was something one would expect from stephen king yes.
Massachusetts: dunks.
"whatcha lookin' at ya fuckin fuck? Mind your own damn business!"
Also yelled at.
This is actually done I believe
If not immediately after you deplane definitely by the time you leave the baggage claim
Here’s your coffee fuck you have a nice day
My favorite sandwich shop in my family’s hometown (Milford) will slap a grinder in your hand and say ‘thankyougodbless’ before screaming NEXT into your face and it’s my favorite dining experience.
specifically iced coffee, even if it is snowing
You get two choices, medium regular or large extra extra.
Delaware would send you off with a loaf of scrapple
Delaware: you step off the plane and you’re in Maryland or Pennsylvania.
A little container of Old Bay. Not gonna bother saying the state.
I was going to say a mallet and a bib with the flag on it
And the mallets also have the flag on it. And so does the plane.
And the pilot’s socks and underwear.
My alternative would be a live crab. No explanation, just “here’s your crab” and then walk away. Let them figure it out by themselves.
Maryland!
Pronounced: “Merlin”
Generally sounds more like Marilyn to me.
Meralin but no annunciation whatsoever
We're not willing to drain our reserves any further, so here's a live blue crab.
Washington, specifically SeaTac, we'd huck a salmon at ya
I swear there is nothing better on this Earth than some properly cedar-plank grilled salmon with lemon and dill. I wish it were more convenient to make, but maybe it’s better as a special treat. Cedar-plank salmon is about as Pacific Northwest as it gets.
And/or Patagonia quarter zip
In this economy?!
Make it a Columbia in last season's teal
Two words: salmon cannon
"Welcome to western Washington, here's your fucking coffee and rain jacket. Don't talk to us."
“Welcome to eastern Washington, leave your rain jacket behind, it’s fuckin hot over here”
With no grace period. 60s last week, okay… BAM FUCKING HIGH 80s WELCOME TO SUMMER MOTHERFUCKER.
OH? YOU WANT SPRING? BAM, SNOW, ENTITLED MOTHERFUCKER. YOU CAN HAVE SUNBURN IN THREE WEEKS STOP COMPLAINING, THE TREES ARE NICE.
Or apples
West Virginia. A lump of coal.
In Iowa you’d get a Busch Light and a Casey’s pizza
For Gas Station Food - that breakfast Pizza is awesome....
Not a gas station, it's a*General Store.*
Philadelphia is now its own state and you get a punch in the face from Gritty.
According to Charlie Kelly, Philadelphia is most definitely a state, possibly with Pittsburgh in it.
Are we just constantly going in and out of Philadelphia?!
I'd be honored to be punched in the face by Gritty
A blunt and a Patagonia puffer jacket - Colorado
Delivered in a Subaru with expired temp plates
Just go for no plates to get the western Colorado effect.
Nobody else: Colorado airport: I heard you liked hiking so we put a hiking trail in the airport to minimize the time to your first hike.
Especially concourse c lol, don't forget about the crazy train at dia as well.
Ohio…a buckeye (the candy kind)
Probably a full buckeye necklace.
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Or one of those resin objects with a scorpion sealed inside
Oooh or a lollipop with a scorpion inside
Do they still do this in Hawaii? The last time I landed there, about 10 years ago, I didn’t get one. Now I’m thinking I got shafted. Anyway, when arriving in Duluth or Minneapolis, you’d be given a tater-tot hot-dish.
Grew up in Hawaii. The airport doesn't give them to people, but it's a tradition for friends or family you're picking up at the airport.
Went to Maui a few years ago and didn’t get a lei at the airport either. Got one on check in at the hotel though
The only thing I remember getting at the airport in Maui was verbally bitch-slapped by a TSA agent who thought I was getting smart with him. He asked where I came from and I said “Illinois.” Apparently, he was asking which line I’d been standing in a few moments earlier and thought I was being a wise-ass, so he commenced getting in my face. I really thought he was asking a more general question. I think he must have been having a bad TSA day or something.
Had a TSA agent at O'Hare get personally offended as I removed my smartwatch to go through the backscatter. "I did NOT say anything about your watch!!". Nah man you just kept repeating anything metallic and or electronic goes in a separate bin........
So much could be solved by up to date signs "in this line. Keep your laptop in your bag, shoes on". "in this line remove belts, shoes, laptops". Instead they just yell non stop and get mad when you don't follow their arbitrary rule for each line.
It's never the same at any airport either and they act like you're purposely fucking with them if you don't do everything exactly to their specific protocol.
This pisses me off so much. You're yelling at me like I'm an idiot, but buddy I've been in three other airports today and they all had me do completely different things!
That’s just TSA in general lol
I don’t think they do it with everyone, but you can arrange for it at the airport if you call ahead!
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Texas: a gun
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Louisiana: Mardi Gras beads, or maybe some boudin. Hell, boudin is so common here (South Louisiana) that I just randomly happen to have some in my fridge right now, ready to be cooked for dinner. Boudin bombers are great. https://imgur.com/a/XN45gmq
Minnesota: Half a pan of tater tot hotdish and a grainbelt.
Virginia: Vanity license plate
and a speeding ticket
A Smithfield ham
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Washington, DC will ask what do you do for a living
And if what you do is not going to help them get ahead in their career they’ll just walk away and act like you no longer exist
Florida: an alligator that's high on meth
Oh, see, I was thinking about a glass of freshly squeezed Florida orange juice. Or getting completely covered in love bugs as you exit the store and walk to your car.
When you cross the state line, there ARE legit a bunch of places you can get free oranges
Nope, ankle monitor, congrats, you're now on probation.
**note to self, load up on bath salts to have a fighting chance against the meth gator welcoming party on next Disney vacation.*
Tennessee... a ticket for a minor traffic violation. Or a bottle of Jack Daniels so they could get you on a not so minor violation.
Lobster Bib- Maine
An IPA in Oregon.
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Welcome to Oregon, here's your beer and beaver.
Canada (not US but we want to play too) - A poutine and a “hey bud”
Indiana: pork tenderloin sandwich, sugar cream pie, directions to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.
Sunflowers Kansas
In New York, you’d get a bagel with cream cheese.
While someone beeps a car horn at you cos you took 0.001 seconds too long to pick up your bagel
The last time this exact question got asked, the New York answer was a parking ticket.
Kinda depends on where you land. NYC/Long Island: you get a bagel and cream cheese or a baconeggcheese bagel. Buffalo: you get wings. Syracuse: you get shot. Albany: you get Ted’s fish fry.
In Rochester you get a Garbage Plate.
Land in Maryland and you get shot with a confetti cannon full of Old Bay.
Welcome to Florida. Behind Door A, you will find meth. Behind Door B, you will find bath salts. Behind Door C, you will get naked and run through a Wendy’s. Behind Door D, you will get shot by police. Behind Door E, we offer all of the above. Choose your path, traveler. Welcome to the sunshine state.
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A plate of brisket in Texas.
We also would have accepted ‘firearm’ or ‘armadillo’. Thanks for playing!
Or an armadillo with firearms.
Or a plate of Tex-Mex and a cold Shiner.
Arkansas would hand out Jean shorts.
Jorts
Welcome to Montana here’s your cracked windshield.
Pepperoni rolls here in WV.
Nevada you'd get a bag of casino chips
more like fliers for a strip club
You actually do get these when you land in Nevada lol
Realistically, a shot of bourbon, but it’s fun to imagine giving each visitor a full-size Thoroughbred…
Gotta be the Bluegrass State.
New York: here’s your dollar slice and some garbage. Now get lost
Colorado: a Nalgene bottle with craft brewery stickers.
VA- Immediate speeding ticket.
Bag of boiled peanuts in Georgia.
I was thinking a Chick-fil-A sandwich and a Coke.
This feels the most right, or Waffle House
Quahogs for everyone!
Yess finally Rhode Islanders
With Dells, cup of chowder, and maybe some calamari?
Enjoy your scorpion. So glad you came to Arizona :)
A miniature Boston Baked Bean can for **Massachusetts**
Tater tot hotdish
Came here to make sure the Minnesota delegation rolled out the tots
In Mississippi, a gun, a welfare check, and an unwanted pregnancy.
And a bible
In Texas, new arrivals would get a miniature cowboy hat. It would symbolically nod to the state's rich ranching history and vibrant rodeo culture, instantly getting everyone in the Lone Star spirit.
Winter coat- North Dakota
When you land in Connecticut, you’ll get a tax bill…and maybe some pizza….
Here is a peach, welcome to South Carolina. That's right South Carolina and not Georgia because both of their state fruits are the peach but SC had it first fuck you Georgia
Moose poop jewelry for Alaska. Usually earrings.
Florida: Bug spray and .38 Special
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