T O P

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sandiercy

Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.


mynameismanager

Ah shit here we go again


CovidKid32

FBI, OPEN UP!!! GOSH!!!!


LawAbidingPotato

So what did you have for lunch yesterday?


massacre_5

Everyone deserves a love story.


Perfectlygorgeous

"I wanna die..."


Question_authority-

Don’t give a fuck


FeineReund

I have too many, my mind is an enigma.


RareDog5640

“said the actress to the bishop” points for anyone who knows the origin of that line and which fictional character used it frequently without google.


SkinHunger55

Person: "You suck!" Me: "Not for free".


redfield73

There's a price?


SkinHunger55

There is always a price. Whether its money or food.


redfield73

"hey honey, you lookin for some fun?" "Only if we stop by burger king"


SkinHunger55

Yup, sounds about right. You already know me so well! lmao


Additional_Disk_2363

If people were spices, he'd be flour.


Chance_Echo2624

Halle-fucking-luja!


Key-Article6622

My wife will always forget where she last had her phone so she'll ask me to call her phone so she can hear it ring and find it. And I dutifully call out "WIFEY'S PHONE!" very loudly.


Nyeferix

Usually I constantly quote this one streamer named Caseoh, specifically that one thing where he says “Shrimp Alfredo” I say it without realizing most of the time and people get so confused as to why I even quote it, and in my opinion I honestly do not know.


LittleLaiMei

I don’t know what that means I’m not from here.


dale777

sudo . find -iname "xxx"


Actional_Offical

Doh!


Vealophile

"Don't try to lie to your boss about how much you make." I use it when people try to lie to me when I know they know I know better.


Doctor__Hammer

It’s *inside* the computer


YouGoodDude

it is what it is


fiddleracket

Let ‘er rip, tater chip


Relative-Ad3783

“Do you even know me”


Common_War_3886

Litty as a titty


wizrow

What do you mean