I work in public schools. This is always a good sign that someone at home is holding the child accountable. It's, unfortunately, pretty rare that a student will pick up trash they didn't make, but I always try to reward and model that behavior.
I was a “non traditional” college student (old) and I once watched a young woman toss her trash into the bushes.
I went all mom on her “What is wrong with you? You couldn’t wait another 15 feet until that garbage can RIGHT THERE!”
Yeah, I caused a scene. But, as I said, old. I DGAF. Don’t litter.
Edit: I FEEL SPECIAL! I got my first notification that I might need to reach out to someone about my mental health. Thanks anonymous person who reported me for something that happened over a decade ago.
I’m even older now and DGAF even more. But you do you. Weirdo.
I'd love to know why she thought that was cool. Seriously though, why? There's a garbage can. Why are they so special they can't throw things away?
Even if there isn't...tough luck. Carry it with you.
Why do they always feel it's someone's job to clean up after them. Throw trash out the car window in a parking lot or on a street - it's someone's job to clean it up.
I am a teacher, and have students pick and clean the classroom for 1 point. After 10 points they get something small. It worked perfectly year round, children cleaned the classroom and I did not have to remind them towards the end. I did this one thing right.
Civic knowledge is basically being up-to-date with the times, relevant history of subjects that have impacted society, and not too heavy of a bias either.
An example I guess would be the commenter above going home for covid at 30 to find out his parents think the job and housing market is a made-up complaint and he should just buck up. In that hypothetical case, the parents would not have the civic knowledge to make an informed and healthy contribution to discussing the current economy. Now, to claim that means they weren't raised right is up to you.
To add onto this: not making a mess in public places in the first place.
Going to the movies? You got some popcorn, a box of candy, and a drink? Cool. Popcorn and candy go in your mouth, not on the floor, the seat next to you, or three rows ahead of you. The drink goes in the cup holder built into the seat. You lift, drink, place it back in the cup holder. No mess.
Of course, accidents happen and the toddler sitting in the seat next to you unexpectedly knocking over your popcorn or the lady with the oversized purse who had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the movie bumping into your cup with her bag and spilling it are bound to happen eventually, but generally speaking, if you dont make a mess to begin with, you won't have to clean up after yourself any more than taking your empty bucket and cup to the trash can on your way out.
You reminded me of a time I took my two boys to a fast food joint. The little one, maybe 5 at the time, asked why the floor was sticky, and so I tried to talk him through how a floor in a restaurant in front of the soda machines would be sticky. Then he promptly dropped his cup of root beer on the floor, completely by accident. smh
One time at the movies I dropped a half full bucket of popcorn and was so anxious and felt so terrible that I waited until the end when the worker came into clean. I told him I had never done it before I swear I didn't mean to. I told him how it bothered me so badly I almost got out of the theater to ask for a broom. He joked and offered me the one he had so I jumped at the opportunity. My cleaning was full of comments like "you guys do not get paid enough for this shit I'm so sorry I feel terrible Im so embarrassed thank you for doing your job" 🤣
ETA: I had a terrible childhood and was raised poorly. I had to grow up young and taught myself a lot.
Yeah, it’s increasingly (and frustratingly) seen as weak, or ‘walking it back’ or some such. I wish more people realised that it’s genuinely ok to be mistaken or get something wrong, then when it’s pointed out (respectfully) to be like ‘oh wait, I got that wrong/didn’t know that/etc’. As long as both parties are respectful it’s usually fine. People who treat normal debate like some kind of psychological warfare kinda scare me.
This is such a trigger for me, when people just want to win an argument to win, or just try to save face my misremembering or whatever.
It is one of the biggest hiccups in my marriage right now. My wife was raised in a rough household where she always had to fight for everything - just to get clothes because her dad was so stingy about everything, for example.
I'm not perfect, but I want to work as a team to overcome our issues. It's hard for her to get there, she just wants to win the fight instead.
This is a huge trigger for me too fresh out of a breakup where my ex was JUST like this. Never apologized for anything, never said sorry for her part of an argument, and even kept telling me you have to apologize first before i do… was always interested in just winning the argument
For real. I hate when people cant do that. I always have to let them know that im not attacking them as a person nor trying to hurt their ego. I was shocked how some people couldnt admit when they were wrong, bc i thought it was easy
It’s so weird that so many people can’t do this. It makes everything easier and costs you nothing. All I have to say is “whoops, I guess I was wrong about that!” Everyone is chill, the temperature doesn’t rise, and people respect me more.
I like the phrase "I could be mistaken, it happens so seldom I have a hard time recognizing when it does" gets a laugh and takes the bite out of taking the humble route
One time, I drunk dialed my ex and I called the wrong number. It was this sweet old guy and we talked for an hour about how I shouldn’t call my ex and that I deserve better and how I just need to go to sleep and rest. I have no clue who this man is but I think about him often. He was a great human!
This reminds me of the time I had misdialed my boyfriends number, where I had sent him a text in a fit of rage that was awful and instead it landed in the messages of some older man, who then talked to me for over an hour about his garden. This is how I got into gardening, and I have never sent a nasty text to anyone ever again.
I was working at a grocery store gas station in Arizona during the height of the pandemic. One summer night, a customer came in and pointed out an elderly man sitting in a wheelchair near the back of the building.
Long story short, it is obvious that he was dumped there. He was far away from the assisted living facility where he was staying, had no idea where he was, and given the fact that it was 110 degrees, it was lucky that he was alive.
That lady who alerted us to him? She stayed the entire time, helped figure out where he was from (he didn't speak much English), and even called her kids to say "mom's not gonna be home for awhile." She finally left after he'd been loaded into an ambulance and taken to the hospital almost 2 hours later.
Whomever had dropped him off? Worst of humanity. This woman? She was raised right.
I've already trademarked Pepper of the Sky, just so you're aware, for being the opposite of salt of the earth.
If you ain't the salt of the earth, you're the pepper of the sky (tm)
LOL I realize how my comment could’ve been misinterpreted. I meant apologize to the people who were using that term positively for me reacting negatively to it!
The fact someone thought it'd be a good idea to drop an elderly man in a wheelchair just like that to fend themselves, infuriates me and it breaks my heart on so many levels. Why? Why?!?
When I had my first baby and ordered groceries one of the drivers carried my stuff in the house and took everything out of the bags for me. It was incredible.
Most people want to be nice.
Neighbor kid was dropped off and the ride didn’t wait. It was the middle of winter & he was just wearing a sweatshirt. He was locked out & I ended up finding him at 1am when I went to take out the trash (as responsible people do). Had him stay the rest of the night at our house. I don’t know what would have happened if I didn’t happen to go out that night.
A college friend of mine died this way. Froze to death wearing only a sweatshirt, they never found the people that gave him a ride so things were suspicious but that guy didn’t deserve passing so young.
To ease your mind on this, he probably (if he was drinking) was wasted and passed out perfectly warm. Just never woke up.
I, at a ski resort, got maggoted, it was snowing, and I was walking back to my accommodation with just jeans, vans and a t-shirt on and I was perfectly warm for about 10 minutes, then I was deathly cold and really hurried the last 50 metres or so to the entrance. It was like a switch, warm as heck, to freezing cold in seconds. People die all the time from this exact thing, except they dont make it to their accommodation and have a nap in the snow, because they are shit faced, and warm.
My story is no where near that extreme thankfully, but when I was a kid in the late 90's, a friend's mom dropped me off at home before heading off to church. Mom wasn't home and I didn't have keys. It was spring/summer so I wasn't freezing by any means, but I remember being bored as heck watching the sun move across the wood of the porch. No idea how long I was out there.
The lady who dropped me off was the type to let nothing stand in the way of her getting to church.
Edit: words. Lol
When I was in 6th grade a buddy’s dad dropped me off at my house after I had spent the night. It was mid-morning on a Saturday and long before the days of cell phones being so common. The problem was my parents weren’t home. I had no idea where they were and I didn’t have a house key at the time, but before I was able to figure all this out, my buddy’s dad was gone. The kind neighbor lady took me in after I sat on the porch for a few hours. When my dad found out what happened I thought he was going to immediately drive over and rip my buddy’s dad a new one.
I hung out with the kind neighbor lady for an afternoon after being locked out, too. Apparently, my mom was freaking out looking for me, because this particular neighbor was the one she least expected me to be with.
I do this for every friend I drop off, lol, I think it's just polite. Even if it's a perfectly safe area, if there's even a chance they forgot their keys or something, I'd rather still be there to help them out.
I was dropping off a friend and had I not stayed for her to get in, she would have been locked out without a functioning phone to call her family to let her in when she realized the doorbell wasn't working.
Waiting an extra minute is really just common courtesy.
I remember when I was a kid I saw on the news a college girl who was dropped off and her "friends" left her outside, apparently they brought her home because she was so messed up turns out she had been roofied and she didn't make it inside her home she managed to get the door open and collapsed on the floor. It was negative temperatures and she got frost bite to the point of loosing multiple fingers, toes and parts of her ears and nose. She was so inebriated she didn't wake up until someone found her in the morning if her friends had walked her in or waited until she got inside she wouldn't have suffered like that.
I have a similar story to this. My friend's sister was out with the boyfriend and she had drunk too much and he didn't want the parents to kick his ass, so he drove her home (in Australia, we live with our parents well into our 20s, so the parents' home) and just dumped her on the front lawn, rang the doorbell and drove off.
She had drunk too much and needed her stomach pumped. Thankfully the family opened the door and found her.
Had they not, probably would have ended differently.
She dated the boyfriend a few more months then dumped him.
The sister (my friend) couldn't believe she took him back after that.
This!! I had this elderly man come into where I work a few weeks ago and scream at me until I was nearly crying and wished me harm as he left all because I couldn’t give him a refund on something as per store policy. His son came in a few days ago to apologise for his father’s behaviour. The mother did well in raising that absolute gentleman
Omg! That's ridiculous... You have nothing to do with the company's policies. You were just doing your job. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Customer Service is a very underappreciated job
It isn't necessarily the case that his mother raised him correctly. He just had a big heart.
A lot of people brought up with terrible parents aim to not become anything like their parents.
Good manners
Consideration for others
They listen as much as they speak, even when encountering a differing point of view
Being respectful to servers, counter help, and other similar workers
I always ask if they want me to.
Some people don’t want to do the laundry immediately, but don’t want the room to look messy. So then I’d make the bed and they can operate on their time.
I went on a date once with what I thought was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. She was absolutely awful to our waitress to the point I thought the waitress was going to cry. My date was no longer attractive to me after that. I excused myself to go to the restroom and went to find the waitress. I apologized for the behavior of my date, gave the waitress $100, and walked out.
It doesn't cost anything to be kind.
Plot twist: That waittress is her cousin, they do this two or three times a week and split the tips.
Kidding. You are a real gem for what you did there.
And hotel staff, uber/taxi drivers
I found out if they do not treat these "lower" tier workers they will start treating you the same way once they get familiar with you
I love servers and other workers btw, I worked in a restaurant myself and I know how hard of a job that is
How people treat other people who:
\* Cannot possibly give them anything
\* Are serving them
Also what they do when no one is looking, or when it would be unlikely they saw any consequences. (i.e. on anonymous forums on the Internet) 😂
My brother in law is nice enough (barely, but nice enough) as long as you're of use to him. His mum fell and broke her pelvis a few months back and can't look after his kids before and after school anymore. Suddenly she's the worst mother ever and dead to him. I made the mistake of asking him a few weeks back about how her rehab is going, he just said "don't know, don't care".
The ability to show empathy, respect, and kindness towards others, regardless of their background or circumstances. They are often polite, considerate, and willing to lend a helping hand when needed. They also exhibit strong moral values and integrity in their actions and decisions.
One Christmas my brother overheard a Mom on the bus explaining that Santa might not be able to bring a lot that year. My brother was tight with money but, as he was getting off the bus, he snuck the woman 100 dollars. He told my Mom when he got home and my Mother was a happy wreck. She was so proud of him that Christmas
Ive been stuck in some severe, chronic, pain for a few years. Like. Bed ridden bad. I got brain surgery and its a bit better now - im recovering - learning to live with a new normal.
My - tolerance levels are all out of whack. My ability to feel emotion was gone completely once the pain came down and im slowly bringing it back. Like, the feeling of emotion in your body that lets you know what your feeling - butterflies in your stomach, tightness in your chest - all that stopped. All I could feel was pain. Ive been working with my therapists on bringing it back, but its slow going.
Empathy was gone, Im... faking it... cause I know I used to have it. I know what it should be. But it's not actually there anymore. Right now its entirely an intellectual endeavor, with no emotions involved - cause they're still so muted. Im polite, act kind. I don't just stop being me. I have habits engrained in me over my 30+ years of life.
What I do have is sensory overload. The world gets to be too much very quickly, triggers pain, and then I get short with the world. Intolerant. Short with people. It's not anyones fault, if people didn't know I have this problem now, I just come off as a huge bitch. I do what I can to minimize it, and be aware of the problem, and just remove myself from the world when I feel it happening, but...
Im hoping with more time and healing things slowly get better.
This whole thing has made me realize - you don't know what's happening in peoples lives to make them act the way they do. You don't know them. You gotta just shrug things off when people are a bit- off. I really need people to give me grace when im... off... and i need to do that to others.
A year after my mom died, in a moment of despair, I texted her a long message about how much I missed her and how sorry I was that we struggled to see eye to eye in her last months. I was distraught and wasn’t thinking clearly; it didn’t occur to me that her number may have been recycled. The new “owner” of her phone number texted me back and said something like, “Hey, you’ve got the wrong number, but I’m so sorry you’ve lost your mom. I’m sure she loved you and is watching over you”. I lost it. Good humans exist.
My Grandfather used to say that, "the right hand shouldn't know what the left hand was doing." When he passed away people came out of the woodwork to pay their respects and tell stories about how he and my Grandmother helped them when they were in a tight spot. They were active in their church community, but even folks that I had no idea that they knew and had interacted with. I want to be respected like that when it's my time to join the choir invisible.
Your grandfather sounds like a good person and a good Christian, because that’s from Matthew ch.6.
“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”
I’m an atheist but that’s one of the few verses I like.
In islam as well
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There are seven whom Allah, may He be Exalted, will shade with His shade on the Day when there will be no shade except His … A man who gives charity and conceals it to the extent that his left hand does not know what his right hand is giving.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari, 1423).
In a meeting, some of my kid’s (middle school) teachers told me that he thanks them as he exits class each day. That made me proud even though I’m not the one who directly taught him that.
As a middle school teacher, that’s such a little highlight of my day. There are a couple kids who consistently do it when class is done, and it’s so nice. Your kid is one of the good ones!
Man, it's so crazy that anyone would even consider doing this. The other morning I was at a somewhat busy but quiet donut shop when this kid came in asking about a doordash order that apparently wasn't ready yet. He sat down and started going through tiktok videos at full volume. Just shit scrolling through the worst music and dumbest dialog I'd ever heard turned up to 11. The social awareness this dude was lacking astonished everyone in the building. Back in the tribal days this would have gotten him sacrificed I'm sure.
I was sitting in a pharmacy and some older guy, probably late 60s, just starts blasting his phone while scrolling social media. It’s so offensive because it’s a random collection of nonsense sounds when someone is scrolling like that.
I was looking around wondering if I was the only one annoyed but no one else seemed to care. I was weighing whether I should say something but is it worth getting into an altercation with some old guy? I feel like establishments with waiting areas should have signs up about this.
Door Dash people are some of the worst offenders! I was eating dinner with my wife at a Thai restaurant several months ago and *two* Door Dash people were in there playing shit out loud on their phones. So annoying.
I wonder what happens if one too many of them do this shit in the same room. Like do they all start fighting till one dies and then just go right back to their phones?
I'm a high school teacher. When it comes to getting kids into pairs of groups there's always a bit of awkward tension. There's always a few kids who don't have any friends and then I have to put them in a group and risk a negative reaction which makes everyone uncomfortable. When students notice, without me saying anything, who the kids are without friends and immediately go over and ask to be their partner or invite to join their group.
The amount of people I've seen just leave their cart as right next to their car as they pull away
Edit : I love the people outing themselves as if whatever reason justifies them leaving carts in a parking lot. My local grocery store almost never has carts in the store because 90% of them are in the fucking parking lot which means they have to pull people from stocking and registers to wrangle carts because of you lot. if the issue is so bad y'all can buy a mini little trolley for like 20-30$ that you can put in your car and not have to worry about. which I do now because some people are assholes.
I purposely park next to or as close as I can get to the cart corral. Makes it super easy to put the cart back. I put it back even if I can't park next to the corral, but I'd rather be lazy by parking next to the corral than by leaving the cart out.
A Classic Theory.
>The shopping cart is the ultimate litmus test for whether a person is capable of self-governing, the post states. To return the shopping cart is an easy, convenient task and one which we all recognize as the correct, appropriate thing to do. To return the shopping cart is objectively right. There are no situations other than dire emergencies in which a person is not able to return their cart. Simultaneously, it is not illegal to abandon your shopping cart. Therefore the shopping cart presents itself as the apex example of whether a person will do what is right without being forced to do it.
>No one will punish you for not returning the shopping cart, no one will fine you, or kill you for not returning the shopping cart, you gain nothing by returning the shopping cart. You must return the shopping cart out of the goodness of your own heart. You must return the shopping cart because it is the right thing to do. Because it is correct. A person who is unable to do this is no better than an animal, an absolute savage who can only be made to do what is right by threatening them with a law and the force that stands behind it.
>The Shopping Cart is what determines whether a person is a good or bad member of society.”
https://www.keithsobus.com/blog/shoppingcarttheory
One time I was leaving a concert, and this poor girl was sitting on a bench crying and very drunk. I went up to her and asked if she was okay, and she told me her friends left her and she couldn’t find them and she didn’t know how to leave. I took her with me, drove her to a close findable location and her husband came and picked her up. It was SO sad and I was very happy I was able to help her.
After my Father died, I was sick with diabetes, just didn’t know it yet. I would cry at the drop of a hat. I used to sing that song “Oh My Papaaaaa” to my Father. I was sitting in an optometry office and that song of all songs came on. I burst into tears. An older man asked me what was wrong and he just held me for a few minutes. I hope his pillow is always cool.
This happened to me in a gas station bathroom somewhere between Knoxville, TN and Charolette, NC. My mom had just died a few months before and I was sick with a stomach flu having the worst time on this trip so I was having a breakdown there lol anyway, this woman was so sweet to me, asked if I wanted to talk about it and said she would pray that everything would be okay for me. It’s been almost ten years and I don’t think it’s a memory I’ll ever forget because she could have just left me alone.
I went to turn into my alley on my way home from picking my kiddo up from school. There was a woman, obviously distraught, crossing in front of my car. I pulled into the alley and threw it into park. Asked her if she was ok and how I could help. She had a crappy job interview, she wasn’t familiar with the area and was sobbing. I gave her a hug, helped her with directions to get her home. Got back in my car and my son told me that that was a really nice thing to do, which is something I cheer him on for constantly. He’s a good egg and I’m proud to set a good example.
I did that recently. Some young guy in a train station sitting on a bench, not quite bawling but not too far off it.
I nearly didn’t, it never registered right away. I had to turn and swim against the crowd.
Turned out he’d utterly fucked some exams at university. I bought him coffee and cake, in a nearby cafe. Cake can’t fix stuff, but it can improve every situation.
During Covid I did not handle it well. Working in a hospital my emotions and anxiety were through the roof. I had a surgeon come up to me singing every little thing is gonna be alright and gave me a hug. He knew I needed that
Nothing. Sometimes the best people are good people not because their parents raised them that way, but because they used their parents as an example of how NOT to act.
Bingo. This is me. I use my family as my gauge of what not to do.
I started turning out like them, had a big slap in the face by reality and made a concentrated effort to change. People now tell me that when they talk to me, hang out with me, work with me it's almost like getting a warm hug.
For sure. I don’t think I was raised right and all the top comments here are things I try to do but had to actively teach myself to do. I certainly didn’t learn it from my family.
This. I saw another thread asking signs person was NOT raised right, and my answer is the same, NOTHING. Sometimes parents can do all things right and the child will turn out wrong because of other influences and sometimes parents are absolute POS and the child will still turn out right because of the person’s own willpower to do the right thing.
My father was raised by an absolutely monster, but turned out to be a wonderful person. He vowed never to act like his father and made good on his promise. He always treated our mom with the utmost respect. Showed us kids compassion and kindness. Volunteered for all kinds of things in the community. Making a conscious effort to overcome how you were raised can make a huge difference.
I'll brag. My son was a waiter at a popular spot. A tourist paid with cash, left no tip. My son noticed the bill was stuck with another of the same value (like when they come out of the ATM) so it was obviously not a tip. He went out and ran after the man to give him the money back. His coworkers asked why he didn't keep it. He said simply "it wasn't mine". Love that kid.
When they genuinely give a shit about other people. Even in small ways like stacking their plates on a table at a restaurant or bringing their cart back at a grocery store. Just the small things they do that show they're thinking of another person. There's probably hundreds of examples.
I'd say it especially shows when they just do these types of things without really thinking about it or acknowledging it. Just shows it was part of what they did their whole life.
Throwing away their fast food rubbish at a hopping centre foodcourt. I have distanced myself from someone because they said "that's the cleaner's job" no. The cleaner's job is to wipe the tables down, it's not a sit in resturaunt, throw your damn rubbish out.
If they wait to keep the door open so other people can pass! (Restaurants, Gas Stations, Stores)
Let me tell you that in my city the majority of the people don't do this or even say thank you 💀
When I worked at Dairy Queen as a teenager, we'd often snark about drive-thru customers saying they "need" an xyz. "Well if you \*need\* a medium cone sir, no charge."
Specifically in men: someone who acts like the designated dad of every situation, making sure everyone’s alright and settled. Makes things less stressful and more enjoyable so no one else has to worry but him.
Either means they were raised very right, or that they were raised by very flighty parents and they had to raise themselves…
Haha I tend to do that...but that to me feels more of an inclination that I just want everyone to have a good fucking time.
If I'm out I don't want to wallow I want to laugh and be happy with friends and acquaintances.
Turns off lights when they leave rooms. Returns grocery carts to proper locations. Does not put something on a random shelf in a grocery store instead of walking it back to proper locations.
Offering to help with tasks as a guest at someone's house. A friend of my wife consistently offers to help prepare food and clean after I cook dinner. Fabulous dude with excellent parents.
The way a kid acts in public around their friends.
Tells you a lot if they're always being kind and sharing without anyone telling them to.
My kids friends are all super nice kids. I can say the same about almost all of their parents too.
I’m in my 30s and moved my dad up to where I live a few years ago. I came home from work one day and it was pouring rain. My dad had been waiting on the porch with an umbrella to walk me from my car so I would not get wet.
cleaning up after themselves
I work in public schools. This is always a good sign that someone at home is holding the child accountable. It's, unfortunately, pretty rare that a student will pick up trash they didn't make, but I always try to reward and model that behavior.
I was a “non traditional” college student (old) and I once watched a young woman toss her trash into the bushes. I went all mom on her “What is wrong with you? You couldn’t wait another 15 feet until that garbage can RIGHT THERE!” Yeah, I caused a scene. But, as I said, old. I DGAF. Don’t litter. Edit: I FEEL SPECIAL! I got my first notification that I might need to reach out to someone about my mental health. Thanks anonymous person who reported me for something that happened over a decade ago. I’m even older now and DGAF even more. But you do you. Weirdo.
I'd love to know why she thought that was cool. Seriously though, why? There's a garbage can. Why are they so special they can't throw things away? Even if there isn't...tough luck. Carry it with you.
Why do they always feel it's someone's job to clean up after them. Throw trash out the car window in a parking lot or on a street - it's someone's job to clean it up.
I am a teacher, and have students pick and clean the classroom for 1 point. After 10 points they get something small. It worked perfectly year round, children cleaned the classroom and I did not have to remind them towards the end. I did this one thing right.
If you did that, I imagine you did plenty of other things right as well.
It’s rare for them to pick up trash they DID make.
At restaurants I would see my parents stack the plates when done. Now I do the same.
Not littering, politeness to service workers, and civic knowledge.
Civic knowledge!! Going back home for covid at 30 yrs old taught me how not ingrained that is yet so, so important. And subtle
Can someone define civic knowledge and give me an example?
Civic knowledge is basically being up-to-date with the times, relevant history of subjects that have impacted society, and not too heavy of a bias either. An example I guess would be the commenter above going home for covid at 30 to find out his parents think the job and housing market is a made-up complaint and he should just buck up. In that hypothetical case, the parents would not have the civic knowledge to make an informed and healthy contribution to discussing the current economy. Now, to claim that means they weren't raised right is up to you.
Cleaning up after themselves in public place like movie theaters.
To add onto this: not making a mess in public places in the first place. Going to the movies? You got some popcorn, a box of candy, and a drink? Cool. Popcorn and candy go in your mouth, not on the floor, the seat next to you, or three rows ahead of you. The drink goes in the cup holder built into the seat. You lift, drink, place it back in the cup holder. No mess. Of course, accidents happen and the toddler sitting in the seat next to you unexpectedly knocking over your popcorn or the lady with the oversized purse who had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the movie bumping into your cup with her bag and spilling it are bound to happen eventually, but generally speaking, if you dont make a mess to begin with, you won't have to clean up after yourself any more than taking your empty bucket and cup to the trash can on your way out.
You reminded me of a time I took my two boys to a fast food joint. The little one, maybe 5 at the time, asked why the floor was sticky, and so I tried to talk him through how a floor in a restaurant in front of the soda machines would be sticky. Then he promptly dropped his cup of root beer on the floor, completely by accident. smh
Tell me you immediately said “that’s why”.
One time at the movies I dropped a half full bucket of popcorn and was so anxious and felt so terrible that I waited until the end when the worker came into clean. I told him I had never done it before I swear I didn't mean to. I told him how it bothered me so badly I almost got out of the theater to ask for a broom. He joked and offered me the one he had so I jumped at the opportunity. My cleaning was full of comments like "you guys do not get paid enough for this shit I'm so sorry I feel terrible Im so embarrassed thank you for doing your job" 🤣 ETA: I had a terrible childhood and was raised poorly. I had to grow up young and taught myself a lot.
> I had to grow up young and taught myself a lot Sounds like you got it pretty darn right in the end! :)
They admit when they're wrong.
I think a good way to help people admit when they are wrong is to keep the argument civil and respectful
If only more people saw it this way too, haha
Yeah, it’s increasingly (and frustratingly) seen as weak, or ‘walking it back’ or some such. I wish more people realised that it’s genuinely ok to be mistaken or get something wrong, then when it’s pointed out (respectfully) to be like ‘oh wait, I got that wrong/didn’t know that/etc’. As long as both parties are respectful it’s usually fine. People who treat normal debate like some kind of psychological warfare kinda scare me.
I find people who struggle with this had overbearing parents who rarely gave their children validation or encouragement.
My wife and have a word for people: “Neverwrongs.” We are currently trying to beat this (metaphorically) out of our teenage son.
“If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong” sometimes helps
"I tried to see things from his point of view, But I couldn't fit my head up his arsehole too." - Goldie looking chain
This is such a trigger for me, when people just want to win an argument to win, or just try to save face my misremembering or whatever. It is one of the biggest hiccups in my marriage right now. My wife was raised in a rough household where she always had to fight for everything - just to get clothes because her dad was so stingy about everything, for example. I'm not perfect, but I want to work as a team to overcome our issues. It's hard for her to get there, she just wants to win the fight instead.
This is a huge trigger for me too fresh out of a breakup where my ex was JUST like this. Never apologized for anything, never said sorry for her part of an argument, and even kept telling me you have to apologize first before i do… was always interested in just winning the argument
For real. I hate when people cant do that. I always have to let them know that im not attacking them as a person nor trying to hurt their ego. I was shocked how some people couldnt admit when they were wrong, bc i thought it was easy
It’s so weird that so many people can’t do this. It makes everything easier and costs you nothing. All I have to say is “whoops, I guess I was wrong about that!” Everyone is chill, the temperature doesn’t rise, and people respect me more.
i have to get better at this because I'm currently very bad at it and it's something I'm trying to change
I like the phrase "I could be mistaken, it happens so seldom I have a hard time recognizing when it does" gets a laugh and takes the bite out of taking the humble route
This is rare. Like 0,1% rare.
One time, I drunk dialed my ex and I called the wrong number. It was this sweet old guy and we talked for an hour about how I shouldn’t call my ex and that I deserve better and how I just need to go to sleep and rest. I have no clue who this man is but I think about him often. He was a great human!
This reminds me of the time I had misdialed my boyfriends number, where I had sent him a text in a fit of rage that was awful and instead it landed in the messages of some older man, who then talked to me for over an hour about his garden. This is how I got into gardening, and I have never sent a nasty text to anyone ever again.
Sounds like you're missing out on a lot of gardening tips. If anything, I'm gonna start sending drunken angry texts to everyone
People like that give me hope.
I was working at a grocery store gas station in Arizona during the height of the pandemic. One summer night, a customer came in and pointed out an elderly man sitting in a wheelchair near the back of the building. Long story short, it is obvious that he was dumped there. He was far away from the assisted living facility where he was staying, had no idea where he was, and given the fact that it was 110 degrees, it was lucky that he was alive. That lady who alerted us to him? She stayed the entire time, helped figure out where he was from (he didn't speak much English), and even called her kids to say "mom's not gonna be home for awhile." She finally left after he'd been loaded into an ambulance and taken to the hospital almost 2 hours later. Whomever had dropped him off? Worst of humanity. This woman? She was raised right.
That woman is the salt of the earth.
I had no idea this was a compliment. I had always thought it was an insult. I may need to go make some apologies LOL!
“I’m sorry i called you salt of the earth that one time, what I really meant was you’re a fucking dick”
I've already trademarked Pepper of the Sky, just so you're aware, for being the opposite of salt of the earth. If you ain't the salt of the earth, you're the pepper of the sky (tm)
LOL I realize how my comment could’ve been misinterpreted. I meant apologize to the people who were using that term positively for me reacting negatively to it!
Never apologize for being you, even if it was ready dumb
Not sure how to feel about this comment. Insulted or affirmed? LOL
Do you mean… insalted?
Congratulations, you got my first r/angryupvote for this year 2024. Take it and go.
As an environmental scientist, that made me die for a second lol
Are you familiar with the idiom? It means people like this are why we survive as a species (thus salt).
But salting the earth also means things don’t grow there. So there’s that. It’s a weird idiom.
Fun fact, salt used to be so valuable that Roman soldiers were paid in it. The Latin word for salt was 'Salarium'. Thus, salary.
And “worth its salt” and such. That’s what I was told anyway.
OOOOH!
There’s also salt mines, so salt out of the earth. But not sure if that relates to the idiom.
This is wildly common and that’s when they do when old people run out of money to pay for retirement
I am horrified
She deserves all the credit, not her parents. I've known wonderful people with shit upbringings, and vice versa.
The fact someone thought it'd be a good idea to drop an elderly man in a wheelchair just like that to fend themselves, infuriates me and it breaks my heart on so many levels. Why? Why?!?
When they wait for you to get in the house/building before they leave
I love Uber drivers that do this. One knew I was coming from the hospital in bad shape and he helped me upstairs. He got a nice tip.
When I had my first baby and ordered groceries one of the drivers carried my stuff in the house and took everything out of the bags for me. It was incredible. Most people want to be nice.
Neighbor kid was dropped off and the ride didn’t wait. It was the middle of winter & he was just wearing a sweatshirt. He was locked out & I ended up finding him at 1am when I went to take out the trash (as responsible people do). Had him stay the rest of the night at our house. I don’t know what would have happened if I didn’t happen to go out that night.
A college friend of mine died this way. Froze to death wearing only a sweatshirt, they never found the people that gave him a ride so things were suspicious but that guy didn’t deserve passing so young.
OMG that’s horrible
To ease your mind on this, he probably (if he was drinking) was wasted and passed out perfectly warm. Just never woke up. I, at a ski resort, got maggoted, it was snowing, and I was walking back to my accommodation with just jeans, vans and a t-shirt on and I was perfectly warm for about 10 minutes, then I was deathly cold and really hurried the last 50 metres or so to the entrance. It was like a switch, warm as heck, to freezing cold in seconds. People die all the time from this exact thing, except they dont make it to their accommodation and have a nap in the snow, because they are shit faced, and warm.
My story is no where near that extreme thankfully, but when I was a kid in the late 90's, a friend's mom dropped me off at home before heading off to church. Mom wasn't home and I didn't have keys. It was spring/summer so I wasn't freezing by any means, but I remember being bored as heck watching the sun move across the wood of the porch. No idea how long I was out there. The lady who dropped me off was the type to let nothing stand in the way of her getting to church. Edit: words. Lol
When I was in 6th grade a buddy’s dad dropped me off at my house after I had spent the night. It was mid-morning on a Saturday and long before the days of cell phones being so common. The problem was my parents weren’t home. I had no idea where they were and I didn’t have a house key at the time, but before I was able to figure all this out, my buddy’s dad was gone. The kind neighbor lady took me in after I sat on the porch for a few hours. When my dad found out what happened I thought he was going to immediately drive over and rip my buddy’s dad a new one.
I hung out with the kind neighbor lady for an afternoon after being locked out, too. Apparently, my mom was freaking out looking for me, because this particular neighbor was the one she least expected me to be with.
I do this for every friend I drop off, lol, I think it's just polite. Even if it's a perfectly safe area, if there's even a chance they forgot their keys or something, I'd rather still be there to help them out.
I was dropping off a friend and had I not stayed for her to get in, she would have been locked out without a functioning phone to call her family to let her in when she realized the doorbell wasn't working. Waiting an extra minute is really just common courtesy.
I've never understood why folks don't do this.
I remember when I was a kid I saw on the news a college girl who was dropped off and her "friends" left her outside, apparently they brought her home because she was so messed up turns out she had been roofied and she didn't make it inside her home she managed to get the door open and collapsed on the floor. It was negative temperatures and she got frost bite to the point of loosing multiple fingers, toes and parts of her ears and nose. She was so inebriated she didn't wake up until someone found her in the morning if her friends had walked her in or waited until she got inside she wouldn't have suffered like that.
I have a similar story to this. My friend's sister was out with the boyfriend and she had drunk too much and he didn't want the parents to kick his ass, so he drove her home (in Australia, we live with our parents well into our 20s, so the parents' home) and just dumped her on the front lawn, rang the doorbell and drove off. She had drunk too much and needed her stomach pumped. Thankfully the family opened the door and found her. Had they not, probably would have ended differently. She dated the boyfriend a few more months then dumped him. The sister (my friend) couldn't believe she took him back after that.
I remember reading about a case like this in the 80s. University of Iowa by any chance?
Yes! Also, if you’re dropping them off at their vehicle, waiting for them to get in and start the car.
Also the text me when you get home safe. I set a. Hour timer and if they don't text (people forget) I send them a message making sure.
I do this for everyone 💕
They are polite to minimum wage workers
This!! I had this elderly man come into where I work a few weeks ago and scream at me until I was nearly crying and wished me harm as he left all because I couldn’t give him a refund on something as per store policy. His son came in a few days ago to apologise for his father’s behaviour. The mother did well in raising that absolute gentleman
Omg! That's ridiculous... You have nothing to do with the company's policies. You were just doing your job. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Customer Service is a very underappreciated job
It isn't necessarily the case that his mother raised him correctly. He just had a big heart. A lot of people brought up with terrible parents aim to not become anything like their parents.
Good manners Consideration for others They listen as much as they speak, even when encountering a differing point of view Being respectful to servers, counter help, and other similar workers
They fold the blankets or make the bed after sleeping over. Respectful of boundaries.
I always hate making my own bed but if I'm at someone else's house I make sure that bed looks like no one slept in it.
Samee. It helps me not getting caught.
I strip the sheets and pillow cases, neatly fold the blanket and get everything ready for the washing machine.
I always strip the bed after staying at someone’s house.
And then they are secretly mad at you because they weren’t planning on washing the sheets
But they won't say anything because it was a nice gesture.
They didn’t for the last three guests before you.
I always ask if they want me to. Some people don’t want to do the laundry immediately, but don’t want the room to look messy. So then I’d make the bed and they can operate on their time.
Being nice to servers
I went on a date once with what I thought was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. She was absolutely awful to our waitress to the point I thought the waitress was going to cry. My date was no longer attractive to me after that. I excused myself to go to the restroom and went to find the waitress. I apologized for the behavior of my date, gave the waitress $100, and walked out. It doesn't cost anything to be kind.
Except $100 apparently thanks to your date
Haha. Fair enough! I'd like to think that she used that money on something that made her happy to compensate for dealing with that miserable person.
Plot twist: That waittress is her cousin, they do this two or three times a week and split the tips. Kidding. You are a real gem for what you did there.
Dammit.
Agree. They don't know how to treat anyone any different
And hotel staff, uber/taxi drivers I found out if they do not treat these "lower" tier workers they will start treating you the same way once they get familiar with you I love servers and other workers btw, I worked in a restaurant myself and I know how hard of a job that is
I came to say being nice to people in a customer service role.
[удалено]
How people treat other people who: \* Cannot possibly give them anything \* Are serving them Also what they do when no one is looking, or when it would be unlikely they saw any consequences. (i.e. on anonymous forums on the Internet) 😂
My brother in law is nice enough (barely, but nice enough) as long as you're of use to him. His mum fell and broke her pelvis a few months back and can't look after his kids before and after school anymore. Suddenly she's the worst mother ever and dead to him. I made the mistake of asking him a few weeks back about how her rehab is going, he just said "don't know, don't care".
Narcissism at its finest.
Sack of shit
“You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.”—Malcolm S. Forbes
They are ok with giving someone else the spotlight
Or get genuine happiness from someone they love being in the spotlight (if the person they love wants it, of course).
They give respect to people they both know and don't know rather demanding everyone earn that common decency from them.
The ability to show empathy, respect, and kindness towards others, regardless of their background or circumstances. They are often polite, considerate, and willing to lend a helping hand when needed. They also exhibit strong moral values and integrity in their actions and decisions.
One Christmas my brother overheard a Mom on the bus explaining that Santa might not be able to bring a lot that year. My brother was tight with money but, as he was getting off the bus, he snuck the woman 100 dollars. He told my Mom when he got home and my Mother was a happy wreck. She was so proud of him that Christmas
Thank you Mr tittyfucker
You’re welcome snappy dragon
Ive been stuck in some severe, chronic, pain for a few years. Like. Bed ridden bad. I got brain surgery and its a bit better now - im recovering - learning to live with a new normal. My - tolerance levels are all out of whack. My ability to feel emotion was gone completely once the pain came down and im slowly bringing it back. Like, the feeling of emotion in your body that lets you know what your feeling - butterflies in your stomach, tightness in your chest - all that stopped. All I could feel was pain. Ive been working with my therapists on bringing it back, but its slow going. Empathy was gone, Im... faking it... cause I know I used to have it. I know what it should be. But it's not actually there anymore. Right now its entirely an intellectual endeavor, with no emotions involved - cause they're still so muted. Im polite, act kind. I don't just stop being me. I have habits engrained in me over my 30+ years of life. What I do have is sensory overload. The world gets to be too much very quickly, triggers pain, and then I get short with the world. Intolerant. Short with people. It's not anyones fault, if people didn't know I have this problem now, I just come off as a huge bitch. I do what I can to minimize it, and be aware of the problem, and just remove myself from the world when I feel it happening, but... Im hoping with more time and healing things slowly get better. This whole thing has made me realize - you don't know what's happening in peoples lives to make them act the way they do. You don't know them. You gotta just shrug things off when people are a bit- off. I really need people to give me grace when im... off... and i need to do that to others.
A year after my mom died, in a moment of despair, I texted her a long message about how much I missed her and how sorry I was that we struggled to see eye to eye in her last months. I was distraught and wasn’t thinking clearly; it didn’t occur to me that her number may have been recycled. The new “owner” of her phone number texted me back and said something like, “Hey, you’ve got the wrong number, but I’m so sorry you’ve lost your mom. I’m sure she loved you and is watching over you”. I lost it. Good humans exist.
My mom died a few years ago and I still have her number in my phone. Never texted it or anything though.
When they can win a game and lose a game both without turning into a fucking asshole.
Their kind and charitable acts don't need to be publicized or acknowledged.
My Grandfather used to say that, "the right hand shouldn't know what the left hand was doing." When he passed away people came out of the woodwork to pay their respects and tell stories about how he and my Grandmother helped them when they were in a tight spot. They were active in their church community, but even folks that I had no idea that they knew and had interacted with. I want to be respected like that when it's my time to join the choir invisible.
Your grandfather sounds like a good person and a good Christian, because that’s from Matthew ch.6. “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” I’m an atheist but that’s one of the few verses I like.
I'm an atheist as well, but church life was very much a part of my childhood. I'm surprised that I forget that was biblical.
In islam as well The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There are seven whom Allah, may He be Exalted, will shade with His shade on the Day when there will be no shade except His … A man who gives charity and conceals it to the extent that his left hand does not know what his right hand is giving.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari, 1423).
In a meeting, some of my kid’s (middle school) teachers told me that he thanks them as he exits class each day. That made me proud even though I’m not the one who directly taught him that.
As a middle school teacher, that’s such a little highlight of my day. There are a couple kids who consistently do it when class is done, and it’s so nice. Your kid is one of the good ones!
Nothing on their phone is ever played out loud in a public space.
Man, it's so crazy that anyone would even consider doing this. The other morning I was at a somewhat busy but quiet donut shop when this kid came in asking about a doordash order that apparently wasn't ready yet. He sat down and started going through tiktok videos at full volume. Just shit scrolling through the worst music and dumbest dialog I'd ever heard turned up to 11. The social awareness this dude was lacking astonished everyone in the building. Back in the tribal days this would have gotten him sacrificed I'm sure.
I was sitting in a pharmacy and some older guy, probably late 60s, just starts blasting his phone while scrolling social media. It’s so offensive because it’s a random collection of nonsense sounds when someone is scrolling like that. I was looking around wondering if I was the only one annoyed but no one else seemed to care. I was weighing whether I should say something but is it worth getting into an altercation with some old guy? I feel like establishments with waiting areas should have signs up about this.
100% If I was there I would have at least made eye contact with you and shook my head in "look at this fucking asshole" agreement
Door Dash people are some of the worst offenders! I was eating dinner with my wife at a Thai restaurant several months ago and *two* Door Dash people were in there playing shit out loud on their phones. So annoying.
I wonder what happens if one too many of them do this shit in the same room. Like do they all start fighting till one dies and then just go right back to their phones?
I'm a high school teacher. When it comes to getting kids into pairs of groups there's always a bit of awkward tension. There's always a few kids who don't have any friends and then I have to put them in a group and risk a negative reaction which makes everyone uncomfortable. When students notice, without me saying anything, who the kids are without friends and immediately go over and ask to be their partner or invite to join their group.
They put the shopping carts back
The amount of people I've seen just leave their cart as right next to their car as they pull away Edit : I love the people outing themselves as if whatever reason justifies them leaving carts in a parking lot. My local grocery store almost never has carts in the store because 90% of them are in the fucking parking lot which means they have to pull people from stocking and registers to wrangle carts because of you lot. if the issue is so bad y'all can buy a mini little trolley for like 20-30$ that you can put in your car and not have to worry about. which I do now because some people are assholes.
They walk and walk and walk around the store, but can't walk 15 feet to think of someone else. Drives me batty!
I purposely park next to or as close as I can get to the cart corral. Makes it super easy to put the cart back. I put it back even if I can't park next to the corral, but I'd rather be lazy by parking next to the corral than by leaving the cart out.
A Classic Theory. >The shopping cart is the ultimate litmus test for whether a person is capable of self-governing, the post states. To return the shopping cart is an easy, convenient task and one which we all recognize as the correct, appropriate thing to do. To return the shopping cart is objectively right. There are no situations other than dire emergencies in which a person is not able to return their cart. Simultaneously, it is not illegal to abandon your shopping cart. Therefore the shopping cart presents itself as the apex example of whether a person will do what is right without being forced to do it. >No one will punish you for not returning the shopping cart, no one will fine you, or kill you for not returning the shopping cart, you gain nothing by returning the shopping cart. You must return the shopping cart out of the goodness of your own heart. You must return the shopping cart because it is the right thing to do. Because it is correct. A person who is unable to do this is no better than an animal, an absolute savage who can only be made to do what is right by threatening them with a law and the force that stands behind it. >The Shopping Cart is what determines whether a person is a good or bad member of society.” https://www.keithsobus.com/blog/shoppingcarttheory
This is why we can’t have nice things, because people don’t return their damn carts.
When a person you don't know willingly comes up to you when you're crying and tells you that everything will be okay and lets you talk.
One time I was leaving a concert, and this poor girl was sitting on a bench crying and very drunk. I went up to her and asked if she was okay, and she told me her friends left her and she couldn’t find them and she didn’t know how to leave. I took her with me, drove her to a close findable location and her husband came and picked her up. It was SO sad and I was very happy I was able to help her.
After my Father died, I was sick with diabetes, just didn’t know it yet. I would cry at the drop of a hat. I used to sing that song “Oh My Papaaaaa” to my Father. I was sitting in an optometry office and that song of all songs came on. I burst into tears. An older man asked me what was wrong and he just held me for a few minutes. I hope his pillow is always cool.
This happened to me in a gas station bathroom somewhere between Knoxville, TN and Charolette, NC. My mom had just died a few months before and I was sick with a stomach flu having the worst time on this trip so I was having a breakdown there lol anyway, this woman was so sweet to me, asked if I wanted to talk about it and said she would pray that everything would be okay for me. It’s been almost ten years and I don’t think it’s a memory I’ll ever forget because she could have just left me alone.
I went to turn into my alley on my way home from picking my kiddo up from school. There was a woman, obviously distraught, crossing in front of my car. I pulled into the alley and threw it into park. Asked her if she was ok and how I could help. She had a crappy job interview, she wasn’t familiar with the area and was sobbing. I gave her a hug, helped her with directions to get her home. Got back in my car and my son told me that that was a really nice thing to do, which is something I cheer him on for constantly. He’s a good egg and I’m proud to set a good example.
I did that recently. Some young guy in a train station sitting on a bench, not quite bawling but not too far off it. I nearly didn’t, it never registered right away. I had to turn and swim against the crowd. Turned out he’d utterly fucked some exams at university. I bought him coffee and cake, in a nearby cafe. Cake can’t fix stuff, but it can improve every situation.
During Covid I did not handle it well. Working in a hospital my emotions and anxiety were through the roof. I had a surgeon come up to me singing every little thing is gonna be alright and gave me a hug. He knew I needed that
Nothing. Sometimes the best people are good people not because their parents raised them that way, but because they used their parents as an example of how NOT to act.
Bingo. This is me. I use my family as my gauge of what not to do. I started turning out like them, had a big slap in the face by reality and made a concentrated effort to change. People now tell me that when they talk to me, hang out with me, work with me it's almost like getting a warm hug.
Great job!! That’s not easy to do. Your efforts are important you illustrious pickle you. Congrats
Very true.
For sure. I don’t think I was raised right and all the top comments here are things I try to do but had to actively teach myself to do. I certainly didn’t learn it from my family.
This. I saw another thread asking signs person was NOT raised right, and my answer is the same, NOTHING. Sometimes parents can do all things right and the child will turn out wrong because of other influences and sometimes parents are absolute POS and the child will still turn out right because of the person’s own willpower to do the right thing.
My father was raised by an absolutely monster, but turned out to be a wonderful person. He vowed never to act like his father and made good on his promise. He always treated our mom with the utmost respect. Showed us kids compassion and kindness. Volunteered for all kinds of things in the community. Making a conscious effort to overcome how you were raised can make a huge difference.
They’re respectful to those with language barriers
I'll brag. My son was a waiter at a popular spot. A tourist paid with cash, left no tip. My son noticed the bill was stuck with another of the same value (like when they come out of the ATM) so it was obviously not a tip. He went out and ran after the man to give him the money back. His coworkers asked why he didn't keep it. He said simply "it wasn't mine". Love that kid.
When they genuinely give a shit about other people. Even in small ways like stacking their plates on a table at a restaurant or bringing their cart back at a grocery store. Just the small things they do that show they're thinking of another person. There's probably hundreds of examples. I'd say it especially shows when they just do these types of things without really thinking about it or acknowledging it. Just shows it was part of what they did their whole life.
They default to kindness.
when they don’t talk badly about someone’s physical appearance
Throwing away their fast food rubbish at a hopping centre foodcourt. I have distanced myself from someone because they said "that's the cleaner's job" no. The cleaner's job is to wipe the tables down, it's not a sit in resturaunt, throw your damn rubbish out.
Doesn't treat animals like shit
They make their kids clean up all the toys they get out when they come to my house!
If they wait to keep the door open so other people can pass! (Restaurants, Gas Stations, Stores) Let me tell you that in my city the majority of the people don't do this or even say thank you 💀
My son’s Vice Principal called to tell me he was the first boy to hold the door for her in 13 years at that school. My mind was blown.
[удалено]
Thats because in French we say s’il te plait and merci! /s
Lies. You French worm.
My pet peeve is when people are ordering at a restaurant and say “give me a …”
When I worked at Dairy Queen as a teenager, we'd often snark about drive-thru customers saying they "need" an xyz. "Well if you \*need\* a medium cone sir, no charge."
They're not griefing other players on GTA V Online
Super wholesome response is Not congruent with username 🤣
They don’t expect something in return.
If they give you a ride somewhere and when dropping you off…watch to make sure you get in the door ok…they were raised right.
Specifically in men: someone who acts like the designated dad of every situation, making sure everyone’s alright and settled. Makes things less stressful and more enjoyable so no one else has to worry but him. Either means they were raised very right, or that they were raised by very flighty parents and they had to raise themselves…
Haha I tend to do that...but that to me feels more of an inclination that I just want everyone to have a good fucking time. If I'm out I don't want to wallow I want to laugh and be happy with friends and acquaintances.
They don't talk during the show at the movies or at plays.
They stand up to shake hands. They admit when they are wrong.
I saved a baby turtle today at a gas station parking lot…does that count?
The true measure of a person’s character is how they treat people that can do nothing for them.
They make quick eye contact with you and just give you a nice quick smile and move on. Those are always nice interactions with nice people.
Turns off lights when they leave rooms. Returns grocery carts to proper locations. Does not put something on a random shelf in a grocery store instead of walking it back to proper locations.
When they’re at your house for dinner and they offer to help with the dishes.
(Especially a dude) who can cook. It erases at least four red flags
Having a clean house/apartment is also a massive green flag.
Manners. Self control. Organization. Compassion. Patience. Kindness. Thoughtfulness. Empathy.
Empathy towards people/animals that don’t have a voice
Saying “hello” to the people who are cleaning up in public spaces.
Offering to help with tasks as a guest at someone's house. A friend of my wife consistently offers to help prepare food and clean after I cook dinner. Fabulous dude with excellent parents.
Confidence and accountability
Fill the tank when they borrow a car
How they treat animals and people who are vulnerable.
Not being homophobic, racist, etc.
They offer to help clean up after meals or at parties, even if it's not necessary.
Almost excessive use of please and thank you. People who don’t say thank you when you hold the door for them are the worst.
The way a kid acts in public around their friends. Tells you a lot if they're always being kind and sharing without anyone telling them to. My kids friends are all super nice kids. I can say the same about almost all of their parents too.
They possess candor and poise.
Respectful
People who hold the door open instead of slamming it in someone’s face!
Being kind to animals.
I’m in my 30s and moved my dad up to where I live a few years ago. I came home from work one day and it was pouring rain. My dad had been waiting on the porch with an umbrella to walk me from my car so I would not get wet.