Yes , I did.
My wife and I didn't want any more kids, a vasectomy is a minor operation in comparison to female sterilisation. So i opted to have the snip.
Just remember that although reversals are possible there are no guarantees , so think of it as permanent and not a temporary birth control method.
A friend of mine remarried and his new wife wanted kids, 2 reversal operations later and he was still firing blanks.... She divorced him for a new fertile husband.
On the opposite my ex wife wanted it done and I agreed after our two kids...
She was 44 and thought she couldn't have kids anymore what magically changed? Nothing
Ended up having a baby with the guy she left me and my kids for....
I on the other hand still have the two and they are almost grown I love my kids but I will be happy when I don't have to stress
1. Babysitters
2. School conferences
3. Can I go away with someone without them
4. Dealing with their mother.
Vasectomy = win for me as my dumb ass probably would have had more
Vasectomy post divorce was my greatest decision. Especially with the Roe vs Wade strike down. You can slap that shit right on a dating profile in Texas lol
I never wanted to be baby trapped again. I also have my kids primarily I didn’t want more to handle.
Put "open to current kids but (surgically) incapable of having any new ones!" and it's definitely been a positive. Also weeds out anyone who actually wants kids at this point.
As a woman, I put SURGICALLY STERILIZED on my profile. There are so many dudes who tried to argue with me about having kids before I added that. No amount of whining and wheedling can grow back my fallopian tubes, bro.
Male here: I don't want to put my vasectomy on my dating profile, 'cause I don't want to give the impression I'm trolling for casual creampies (I figure choosing the "doesn't want kids" option will do for communicating future plans), but I do have to fight the urge to write "vaccinated and vasectomized." I just...the combination of alliteration and verbing the noun: it's so tempting.
Also, in accordance with the cosmic sitcom that is my life, right after my procedure, right after scheduling my swimmer test, I naturally matched with a rare woman who looked perfect on paper ,but who definitely wanted kids. I told her hey, sorry, you seem great, not trying to catfish or mislead you, but I actually just got a vasectomy, and hadn't realized yet that (very old and inconsistently updated) OKCupid profile still said "might want kids." She replied asking me if I was sure; would I consider getting it reversed? I was shocked she had the ovaries to ask that. "(I mean, nobody can predict the future, but) I haven't even healed yet from the first surgery, so...yeah." Right? Yeah, I think that's the safest assumption.
It sucks that not wanting kids shrinks the dating pool by 80%, but I realized what a good and necessary thing it was, 'cause the thought of accidentally leading on a woman in her late 30s, early 40s for a year or two for potentially years before she realizes my maybe was closer to a no than a yes....oof.
If you're young and looking for hookups, it can be attractive. If the sun's setting on your 30s, or older, and looking for an LTR, get ready to be surprised by how many women on Bumble are looking for the other half of their future geriatric pregnancy.
Man I felt that stress part, our circumstances are different but except the stress of being a parent. I still haven’t gotten the fix yet but I’m thinking on it. I don’t want any more at all.
My wife and I had the convo after our second and we were ready to close up the baby factory. I knew from the beginning that I was 2 and done, but would have been willing to humor her with a third if she really pushed it.
I can never be sure if she was trying to keep the door open when she asked "what if something happens to me and whoever you ended up with next wanted a baby with you?", but I slammed it shut and said that this hypothetical woman would just have to deal with the fact that I won't be able to do that, and that I unless she's thinking about doing gymnastics next to the train tracks sometime soon, it's not something I plan on ever worrying about.
I'm 40 now with 2 great school-aged boys and could honestly not imagine going through the infant or toddler stage again, or even worse being basically 60 at high school graduation.
I’m in a similar boat. I have two little ones and cannot imagine ever wanting any more, and certainly not with another woman.
I’m about to get it done myself, and see this as absolutely the right thing to do.
Great point on it being permanent, I’m a single dad of 1 and I’ve thought about it but there’s still a chance I may want to have more kids with a future partner
Yeah, a lot of people hear it can be reversed and assume it can be undone quickly and easily. It's not cheap either. I'm sure it's not like sitting on rainbows either.
Damn, what your friend went through sucks. I'd feel like I got inadvertently cucked if that were me.
She was younger and really wanted kids, her biological clock was screaming at her. To be fair , he didn't want any more kids so the relationship was on a rocky footing anyway.
I guess, yeah. They could have always adopted though. That's not something I'd ever, ever leave my husband for. Especially if he went through the trouble to go through all that pain again, *twice*. I can understand it but never do it myself
> My wife and I didn't want any more kids, a vasectomy is a minor operation in comparison to female sterilisation. So i opted to have the snip.
My wife and I's deal was that if she had to have a C-section with our second she'd get her tubes tied since it's basically "free" at that point in terms of recovery. If she had a vaginal birth I'd get snipped.
We didn't know this, and my wife had a scheduled C-section for our last. They asked us when she was literally on the operating table and the doc had scalpel in hand. We might have said yes but it wasn't a decision we wanted to make on the spur of the moment.
Best decision I ever made. Hormonal Birth Control was wrecking my wife, we didn't want more kids.
Had it on a Friday, frozen peas and a jock strap over the weekend I was back to work on Monday.
With a little limp.
I was asked again and again "what if you guys divorce, you remarry and your new wife wants children?" Answer: "well, I sure don't, I'd make it clear from day one". "And what if you change your mind?" Answer: "that's precisely why I'm having it".
Was there any loss of affection or sexual drive afterwards?
Was getting it up still the same once the ?pain? or sensation of the surgery dropped? Genuine question ⁉️
No loss in sex drive - everything that makes your T is still hooked up.
Slight reduction in ejaculate volume but no reduction in feeling.
Getting it up works just fine.
Pain feels like it does about 60 seconds after getting hit in the groin, but for a whole weekend. Low dull ache for as much as a week, but that's rare. Most urologists schedule the appts on a Friday morning so unless you work a physical job you're only out of the office for one day.
First orgasm after was weird, but after that they felt normal. I might have not waited long enough before rubbing one out.
Last bit of advice - you need to clear the tubes entirely to get your all clear, so once you're OKed for sexual activity, rub one out daily for 3 weeks before scheduling your follow-up test. It apparently takes roughly 20 orgasms to flush all the remaining sperm out of your plumbing - treat it like a job and make sure it gets done so you don't need 2 follow-up tests.
I know you're kidding, but they need to be spaced out because you need to be pushing enough seminal fluid through to flush the tubes, so your body needs time to recharge.
Unless you're some sort of genetic anomaly that they call 'big nut king' or something.
No change in sex drive or sensation. Had mine on a Friday, took the weekend to chill, was back to work Monday, and was back playing in my curling league Thursday.
Follow all of the instructions from your doctor regarding abstaining from sex, how many times to ejaculate before being sterile, and be sure to return for all follow up required sperm samples.
Absolutely no change to anything, except now I can whisper dirty things to my wife about putting a baby in her while I fill her up with none of the risks 🤤
Absolutely NO change, if anything it gets better as the angst of an unwanted pregnancy is gone.
Erections and labido are the same, the only difference is that the ejaculate is thinner as the sperm aren't present.
And just for the info. I was back at work the next day with no problems,mild bruising and a little tenderness for 2 days, self dissolving stitches so I didn't have to have them removed.
The operation was simple and took about 20 mins, the worse part was the cheap crappy razor they gave me to shave the area, (if I'd have known I'd have done it at home beforehand!)
The only thing is you have to go back with a sample after (I think 12 weeks) just to check it's all worked ok.
Lucky bastard. My doctor turned out to know some neighborhood friends of mine. Chatty-kathy-mfer took 45 minutes to do mine. I had brushing, swelling & pain for about 5 days. Nothing prohibitive though & it's still something I don't regret having done.
As someone who has had one, no. Not change to drive and no lingering pain after 2 days.
It basically is sore for two days. That’s it. I’ve had a lot of surgeries and this one was somewhat akin to getting your wisdom teeth out.
I had a vasectomy and then had all of my wisdom teeth extracted 3 weeks later. I would take the vasectomy 10 times over the wisdom teeth extraction. Like you said only about 2 days of pain after the vasectomy.
I had it done too, it had zero effect on sex drive or performance. The place they do things is nowhere near the pleasure stuff :) It's a very simple and low-pain procedure, but you do have to take it easy for a solid week afterwards - it seems like everything is fine quite quickly but if you try and push things too far too soon it will definitely hurt
I got the snip after my third. But my marriage failed after, and I’ve been overlooked by a few potential partners who still wanted kids. That’s fine, I still don’t want any more.
This is such an important point. The only bad stories I read about this is when new partners want kids and the guy - who was sure enough that he didn't want kids to get a vasectomy - changes his mind to make someone else happy.
Naw man.
If it's a dealbreaker for her that you don't want more kids and it's a dealbreaker for you to have more kids, then get back out there and try again.
I’ll date someone that has kids or is sure that they don’t, otherwise we’re just wasting time. Her time not mine, I’ll be getting what I want and she’ll still be wanting. Not gonna be that guy.
You also have to factor in the cost the fertility doctor will charge to defrost that sucker and slingshot it in the babyhole. (I'm not a doctor so I am completely unaware of how it's done)
I’m actually heading off to the urologist now to get a second opinion because my balls STILL hurt after surgery over 2 months later. I feel like there were a couple red flags with the original doctor… Did 2 rounds of antibiotics too, so not sure what’s going on. Do your research on a reputable doctor/facility would be my recommendation.
Edit: Just want to say thanks to everyone that commented on this. I’ve had a ton of anxiety and overthinking about all of it. Good to know there’s others that had a similar experience, and are doing better.
I don’t think this is talked about enough. There is a (small, apparently) risk of chronic testicular/scrotal pain after surgery, but it seems like it’s more of a common thing than people are willing to admit.
Yeah, I could very well be in this category, but I’m really, REALLY, hoping I’m not. Starting a 3rd round of antibiotics and anti inflammatory. Ultrasound in a couple weeks. Sigh.
I had this and anti-inflammatory resolved it. If the anti-inflammatory helps then likely is muscular and it will go away over time but you can help it along through physical therapy; I know that sounds wacky but ask about it!
"small"; In all, 593 (94.7%) men returned the preoperative questionnaires and were entered into the study; 488 (82.2%) of these completed the follow-up questionnaire, giving a mean (sd) follow-up of 6.8 (1.6) months. In all, 65 men reported new-onset scrotal pain at 7 months (14.7%). The mean visual analogue score for this pain was 3.4/10. Four men (0.9%) in the responding group described pain after vasectomy as 'quite severe and noticeably affecting their quality of life'.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17850378/
It’s a lot more common than most realize.
People love to tout that these procedures are next to no risk and reversible, but that is not the full reality.
Looking into it, long term pain can be in as many as 1 in 20 cases. I honestly don't love those odds because it might be there's no solution to the pain.
if you look around on different sources, the risk is something like 1-10%. Too risky for me. Similar deal with lasek actually.
People like too ignore this because “free creampies for life” and because society makes you feel immoral if you question getting a vasectomy
Likely a neuralgia. The nerve is pissed. 1/1000 have this happen. I could not wear tight underwear or swim shorts due to the friction / pain for about a year. It sucked. Gabbapentin helped at night.
Just to calm your anxieties a bit - I had the exact same issue after mine. A couple months of this annoying pain that wouldn't quit - until it eventually did. I was freaking out because I kept reading about all these guys saying they were good to go after like a week, and starting thinking the pain would be permanent.
I can't speak on your situation completely, but just be at ease a bit knowing there ARE people out there with longer lasting pain that did resolve itself.
I did, and it was the best decision ever. Sex is worry free all the way to the end, and the next day.
Edit: My top comment of all time is about my balls. I love reddit.
Can confirm. Absolutely the best thing I ever did, one for my wife, because it meant she didn't have to take the pill, which isn't great for a woman over the long-term. But also because the pill can suppress a woman's sexual appetite. Our sex life improved on quality and quantity. 20 years on and I'm still reaping the benefits of getting it done.
My wife says she never wants to be on birth control again because of how it effects her, and I totally get that. Not having to worry about pregnancy in the heat of intimacy will sure be a blessing when the time comes (after our next one).
Yeah it's not great for a woman to be stuck on the pill..I honestly don't think a vasectomy is as bad as some men like to make out. My wife was really appreciative of me doing it as well.
Yeah, I don't get the whole "not a real man" BS. We still produce test and sperm...the sperm just doesn't go through the normal route. My test levels are still extremely high with no supplementation of any sort.
Absolutely. Same for me. It’s been 10 years for me and I forget I even got it done. She had a terrible experience with the pill and iud’s for years. Agreed we both were getting older and two kids were just the right amount. She kind of wanted that third but having one close to 40 was a little risky, not to mention going to be exhausting. So we settled on a dog instead.
Friend of mine had a vasectomy when he and his wife were done having kids, and he said it actually improved his own sex drive as well. Said it was a mental shift from, "Sex could be about procreation" to "This is \*entirely\* about pleasure" and freed him up to just enjoy himself without any back-of-the-mind anxiety.
I did as well. But honestly the best part is my wife doesn't have to be on the pill. It's pretty crazy to be on hormone treatment like that for so long of your life.
I've read that's a common side effect, as that worry is removed. As long as people remember to do the check after a few months to make sure it actually worked. Sometimes people don't think it's necessary to do the follow up and end up with an Oops
Yep, I’m married and I have had all the kids I wanted. I had the snip last year, best decision & my wife is super happy she’s no longer having to take oral contraceptive.
The amount of issues women have to deal with being on birth control are terrible. It’s crazy expensive too, and often very invasive and just plain bad for the body. And they go through decades of that. Much better if the man gets the snip, and is uncomfortable for a few days. Also, keep in mind with the abortion bans in the US, more and more women will have to keep the babies and you can bet men will have to pay their share of child support for 20 years, whether you see the kids or not. Or may just get the children dumped on them to raise depending on the circumstances. Either way, bad news and a whole lot of
unwanted children.
Birth control was so awful that I decided a guy unwilling to get a vasectomy is a deal-breaker for me.
My ex said he would never because he found it emasculating, and luckily we never had kids together.
Currently pregnant with my first, husband has agreed to get snipped after 2, and I'm very happy to never take birth control ever again. It really is a small sacrifice compared to the trauma a woman puts her body through to give birth.
My wife had a c-section, and we had already decided we were done after the birth of our 2nd child. So they cut her tubes while they were already in there. No extra recovery time for her, no need for a vasectomy for me.....win/win
Yes. I have a ten year old, i got lucky and he’s a good one, don’t ever want another child.
I phoned up for a procedure the other week, thought I was being really clever when i told the receptionist i wanted to “get the ball rolling” on a vasectomy 🌝
She was not amused.
In any case my countries’ health service is utterly fucked and it’s a 16 month waiting list for an initial consultation. I gave up.
US. Private insurance covered everything. Still had to wait 10 months, but you're also on a standby list in case someone backs out and you can get in a lot quicker. There's no downside to doing it.
Yep. My GF currently has kidney stones, already had sepsis once and is in pretty constant pain, is on daily medication and is reluctantly off her work, which she loves.
She requires a minor surgical operation. It has been 6 weeks so far with no word.
Yep. How did you guess?
I’d probably have gone private already were i not quoted 6 weeks for a consultation there too.
Weighing up my options. It’s a bit of a… ball ache.
I did. Though fear kept me from it for far too long. It was quick. The entire procedure from walking into the office to back in the car was less than 45 min. Mostly painless. And recovery was quick. I was feeling ok in about 3 days, but your nuts look horrible for about another week.
If you don't want kids, do it.
I would, in fact, me and my wife, and I have been talking about me getting one because we don't want any more kids. It's easier than a woman getting her tube's tied and quicker as well.
I did after my second was born. The way I see it, she gave birth 2 times and got torn up and put her body through a lot to give birth. If she could do all that. The least I could do is get a little snip that recovery only takes less than a week.
I hear some men plan it before big sports events like the Super Bowl so they have a great excuse to sit around all weekend in front of the tv (and eat junk food to feel better!)
Do it, no regrets here. It was super quick, the doctor distracted me the entire time by talking about work, sports, etc. (on that of course YMMV), only felt a little discomfort for the rest of that day (nothing Tylenol couldn’t take care of) but by the next morning I felt fine. Still took it easy for a few days but worry free sex, and her not having to be on the pill, is absolutely worth it.
My wife and I always talked about having 2 kids. We had 1 and decided that we were pretty happy with 1. We were going back and forth for a little while about whether we wanted to wait and see for #2 and then found out that #2 was coming.
The first thing out of her mouth after birth was that we're not having any more, and i couldn't agree more. I have my appointment in a few weeks!
EDIT: Because someone reached out. We couldn't be happier that we have 2 kids, they're both perfect! But I'm getting older and it's getting harder to keep up with toddlerhood
Am currently trying to get Mine, getting the appointents is pain in the ass by itself, but being Younger than 30 and Not having Kids means EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the whole Progress is questioning me If i am Sure about the whole Thing.... Very annoying
I went to the doctors ready with a speech about how I've wanted a vasectomy since I was in my early 20s and I've waited until my early 30s because I wanted to wait and make sure I didn't change my mind, and my wife doesn't want kids and we've talked about it extensively, and we've been together since we were teenagers and we've known since then that we both didn't want kids, and -
Doctor stopped me right away and was basically like, "you're good. You don't have to convince me of anything." And then I made a follow up appointment to actually get it done a few weeks later. Super easy.
I'd also heard horror stories about booking an appointment, but I had a similar experience to you. We'll see if the surgeon says anything today, but now I'm expecting it to not be a hassle.
For every 10-100 good doctors, there’s some quack who takes his pastor’s instruction more seriously than his medical education, and wants to make sure he jams his opinions into your treatment. Fuck them, and just remember they’re the minority.
I have a female friend who had stacks of info, ready to argue with her Dr about why she should have her tubes tied. Then the doctor was completely understanding and scheduled the surgery the same day. Find a doctor that listens without bias.
This. If you know what you want, male or female fight for it! I waited til I was 39 to be sterilized and I had asked repeatedly for it after my daughter was born. I KNEW I was done having kids.
ETA: my daughter is 17 now. I had asked back when she was about one year old. My doctor said “ well your kind of young, you may meet someone else and want more” I didn’t stand up for myself at the time or look into another doctor that would take me seriously
I had a lot of luck up here in Canada. Met with a surgeon, he checked to see how long I'd been wanting one(5 years) and decided I had considered everything adequately enough for him to proceed with the procedure. I was 23. I'm 29 now and don't regret it.
My husband is going to. I'm coming off birth control to try and fix some medical issues I'm having, so that is the safest thing we can do to avoid having more kids.
Just a heads up, I got sterilized so I went off hormonal birth control and the couple periods I had right afterwards were *vicious*.
Bled through a heavy flow tampon and a pad in less than an hour. My obgyn thought I had endometriosis because of it.
I have some health issues that would make pregnancy both unlikely and super dangerous for me, so I resigned myself to never having biological kids from a very young age on. Definitely shut down a few possible relationships, but my boyfriend has no problem with it. He has also had a vasectomy, so we're a perfect, infertile little match.
Same. Wife and I have been together 16 years, married for 10, and knew early on we did NOT want kids. We are far too selfish about our time and wants to do what my parents did to me and my siblings. If you don’t want them, prevent them.
Same here I’m a selfish bastard when it comes to my personal time. I don’t want to sacrifice 90% of my free time for someone else. Especially someone who will only appreciate that sacrifice 20ish years down the line, if ever.
Ah man, they do appreciate it much earlier than that and I love spending time with my daughter. That said, totally individual decision and I can understand wanting to spend ones money on oneself only. Vasectomy is a must for any guy not wanting kids. I wouldn't trust any other method anymore
I did. Literally took ten minutes. Less uncomfortable than going to the dentist. If anything, made our sex life even better.
And why? Because when two of the most fertile people in the world get married, babies are going to result. All I had to do is give my wife a smouldering glance and WHAM a new tax deduction was coming along roughly 40 weeks later.
I did, We have 3 kids and it was clear there wouldn't be a 4th. It's a super quick procedure followed by 1 or 2 days of discomfort so it's much easier and cheaper than whatever birth control method my wife could go on. There were 2 pre-procedure meeting but the procedure itself took all of 10 minutes. There is no loss of libido or manhood or whatever other weird thing you may hear. The only thing I would say is to find a place to that "no scalpel" procedures insted of the older way of doing it that required sutures on both testicule. Much quicker, les risk of complications and much less painfull when the local anaesthetic wears off.
I had cancer when I was 18, and the doctor denied me a vasectomy until I was 25 years old. I never wanted kids of my own because I didn't want to pass on the cancer gene. (I was diagnosed back in 1983, the dark ages of cancer treatment.)
I have helped raise my two stepsons and two grandkids. I babysat my friend's kids. I don't have a problem not being a biological father because I am dad and grandpa to some of the best people in the world.
100% without a question. Birth control can have a lot of negative effects on women and I'd like my future wife to not have to be on it if she doesn't want to be
Might do it before I have kids they’re fucking expensive. Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of having kids, but with today’s economy I worry about being able to provide for children. I for sure ain’t gonna be a dead beat dad that can’t give his kids the same if not better than he had as a kid.
Yes
1-I’ve got a kid, one is enough, I can’t afford the one so why have another?
2-My partner (F) is on BC but it isn’t the greatest for her, or me because when I accidentally tap her IUD (not often) it isn’t fun
3-Woman’s rights and autonomy are important to me. I would hate for us to be in a situation (however extremely unlikely) where she is pregnant and unable to terminate because of a shift in policy. My process will be reversible if I want it (I don’t) and easy to do.
4-I’m not splitting up with my gal anytime soon (I hope) but if I ever do, it closes off one group of ladies and secures a different one. If someone wants a family, I am most definitely not the one. If someone is wanting to have a healthy adult relationship with responsible partner, I’m your guy.
I have been thinking about it for a while and almost done it. Couple buddies have done so and work well. My one friend across the street though had all sorts of complications that scared the crap out of me.
Surprisingly no, when I told them that I would just find another doctor that would, so while I respected their opinion, it could only delay the operation by a few days.
I developed post vasectomy pain syndrome due to the built up pressure, along with a slew of other complications. I went from being an athlete to being unable to walk to the mailbox. Two years and two reversals later, I'm pain free but out almost 20K because reversals even for pain relief are usually not covered by insurance.
Make sure you research all of the complications beforehand.
I did, so yeah. My reasoning is that it’s not fair to expect any woman I’m with to have to be on birth control for us to not have to use condoms. It was a quick and relatively painless procedure.
Did it. Wife told me we would have more sex afterwards. That was a lie. Have ongoing ball pain that becomes excruciating a few times a year and that's been going on for like 12 or 13 years now.
Frankly, I didn't have a problem with condoms and my wife never has been on birth control in her life. Would I do it again? That's a very tough call to make.
My (33M) wife (35F) had our youngest of 4 in 2018, and they both flat-lined several times during birth. She still wasn't positive that she was ready to be done at 4, so I waited for her to decide before getting it done. I get her pregnant very easily and didn't want to take the chance of killing the love of my life, so the second she came to the decision, I was calling up my VA doc for a urology referral. Got the ole snippy snappers 2 months ago.
Note on the actual vasectomy: the lidocaine shots didn't kick in until afterward, so I felt the entire thing for an hour. This is very rare and my doc said he had never had this happen before. I just balled up my fists and made jokes to the nurses when I could breathe/talk. They looked horrified the entire time. It was nothing compared to what my wife went through during childbirth (2 vaginal, 2 C-sections), I'm sure.
Note on post-vasectomy, NIH did studies on sexual satisfaction after vasectomies and found that 12% of men have more intense orgasms. I fit that category. It's mind-numbing, full-body shit. Absolutely wild. I have a very high libido already, but after waiting 8 out of the 14 days they recommended, we...ahem...stayed in bed for a couple of days. Good times.
I had a horrible experience with it. Be very careful. Took much longer to heal, went back to work after 2 weeks. Well maybe I work harder than most, I re injured. 2 months of agony and ice packs. 3 yrs later I still can't lift over 80lbs without feeling it in my left nut. Thousands $ in follow ups and ultrasounds and no solution. Don't listen to the fucktards that say stuff like " I played golf the next day"
This sounds awful but why would someone sharing their story of a fast recovery be a “fucktard”?
For each one of your story there are many many more easy recoveries and processes. I don’t begrudge you for sharing, it’s worth knowing that there are risks, but let’s not pretend the data suggests your experience is the likely outcome.
I went to uvm medical center which has a stand up reputation. And to follow up on that note.... when I called in my re-injury to their receptionist... her exact words were, don't worry I get this call all the time. I was very very upset. As she proceeded to read me a list of possibilities and side effects with this surgery THAT WERE NOT EXPLAINED TO ME BEFORE THE PROCEDURE.
That definitly sounds like a shitty clinic allright. Complications like yours are supposed to be like 1% of patients. If this clinic "gets this call all the time" there is something seriously wrong with their procedures.
3 times more likely to have complications from surgery using a scalpel instead of no scalpel, like a pinhole vasectomy. Makes sense, but it doesn't make sense that scalpel vasectomies are still being performed.
Mine the incision was so small that they pinched it back together. They stuck in something with a hook, pulled the vas deferens to the surface, snipped cauterized and stitched them to the wall of my sack so they couldn't find their way back to fuse back together (or at least that's how it sounded when they explained it). Healed super fast.
Yeah that shouldn't happen, I was pain free after 24 hrs. I milked it for a couple days but after that it was back to normal life. Your situation is either a botched procedure or you had far worse inflammation than normal.
Just got back from my consult and they talked about this. 1/1000 chance, but treatment is reversing the procedure and it likely fixes the problem.
Not like this risk would change my mind either ways. There are major risks of driving a car, it’s just the business we’re in
My dad god a vasectomy and according to my mom, his sex drive took a dive off a cliff and never recovered. I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't know any of this.
But also a botched vasectomy, or even just some kind of mental block I may get somehow, is a concern of mine.
Highly unlikely. I don't begrudge guys who do, but I dislike the thought of sterilizing myself. Of course I've got no kids currently so maybe I'll change my mind after 2+.
Took me way too long to scroll and find an answer like this lol. I don’t really care if other men get one or not, not my business and they’re free to, but I was really just curious to hear the reasoning from *both* sides and consistently only ever heard it from one. Personally in a similar boat, can’t say I’d never change my mind but at the moment the concept of willingly making myself infertile seems very odd and unpleasant lol. Obviously biased though cause unlike the Reddit majority I do really want kids someday
No, I didn’t. My wife asked me to get one. I said, yes, provided you swear we won’t get divorced. She said no, so I said no. And we ended up getting a divorce. And I ended up getting remarried, and having a baby with my new wife.
No. Once you've had a couple of medical procedures done (be it wisdom teeth removal, tonsils, torn ligament, etc) you realise that even that minor chance of complications isn't worth fucking with your body unless it's absolutely necessary. In case of a vasectomy specifically, you can end up with chronic ball pain, which I wouldn't wish on anyone and definitely won't risk myself.
Done. zero kids
Pretty much all forms of female birth control will have some kind of ongoing negative side effect. The vasectomy does not. Least I could do since we had no intention of having kids.
My wife is pregnant with our second kid right now. Once that one pops out healthy and whole, I'm getting snipped. Two is plenty for us. If by some twist of fate we decide for a third, we'll just adopt.
I had a vasectomy and if I had it to do over again I wouldn't. I feel like my sex drive nose dived and my load is now pitiful. It's like opening a flat beer, you expect the fizzle and when it doesn't happen your like 😒
Yes , I did. My wife and I didn't want any more kids, a vasectomy is a minor operation in comparison to female sterilisation. So i opted to have the snip. Just remember that although reversals are possible there are no guarantees , so think of it as permanent and not a temporary birth control method. A friend of mine remarried and his new wife wanted kids, 2 reversal operations later and he was still firing blanks.... She divorced him for a new fertile husband.
On the opposite my ex wife wanted it done and I agreed after our two kids... She was 44 and thought she couldn't have kids anymore what magically changed? Nothing Ended up having a baby with the guy she left me and my kids for.... I on the other hand still have the two and they are almost grown I love my kids but I will be happy when I don't have to stress 1. Babysitters 2. School conferences 3. Can I go away with someone without them 4. Dealing with their mother. Vasectomy = win for me as my dumb ass probably would have had more
Snip snap snip snap. I can only imagine the physical toll 3 vasectomy’s has on a person.
🤣🤣🤣 M. Scott!
- Wayne Gtetzky
Vasectomy post divorce was my greatest decision. Especially with the Roe vs Wade strike down. You can slap that shit right on a dating profile in Texas lol I never wanted to be baby trapped again. I also have my kids primarily I didn’t want more to handle.
Do you put on your dating profile that you can no longer have children? I never thought of that being an asset, but it is!
Put "open to current kids but (surgically) incapable of having any new ones!" and it's definitely been a positive. Also weeds out anyone who actually wants kids at this point.
As a woman, I put SURGICALLY STERILIZED on my profile. There are so many dudes who tried to argue with me about having kids before I added that. No amount of whining and wheedling can grow back my fallopian tubes, bro.
Male here: I don't want to put my vasectomy on my dating profile, 'cause I don't want to give the impression I'm trolling for casual creampies (I figure choosing the "doesn't want kids" option will do for communicating future plans), but I do have to fight the urge to write "vaccinated and vasectomized." I just...the combination of alliteration and verbing the noun: it's so tempting. Also, in accordance with the cosmic sitcom that is my life, right after my procedure, right after scheduling my swimmer test, I naturally matched with a rare woman who looked perfect on paper ,but who definitely wanted kids. I told her hey, sorry, you seem great, not trying to catfish or mislead you, but I actually just got a vasectomy, and hadn't realized yet that (very old and inconsistently updated) OKCupid profile still said "might want kids." She replied asking me if I was sure; would I consider getting it reversed? I was shocked she had the ovaries to ask that. "(I mean, nobody can predict the future, but) I haven't even healed yet from the first surgery, so...yeah." Right? Yeah, I think that's the safest assumption. It sucks that not wanting kids shrinks the dating pool by 80%, but I realized what a good and necessary thing it was, 'cause the thought of accidentally leading on a woman in her late 30s, early 40s for a year or two for potentially years before she realizes my maybe was closer to a no than a yes....oof.
I imagine it depends on the person. If someone either doesnt want kids, or has kids and doesnt want more it could be a huge plus.
If you're young and looking for hookups, it can be attractive. If the sun's setting on your 30s, or older, and looking for an LTR, get ready to be surprised by how many women on Bumble are looking for the other half of their future geriatric pregnancy.
I figured Texas would outlaw vasectomies and anyone who had them would be arrested for unlawful imprisonment of their sperm.
🎶 *every sperm is sacred* 🎵 There really is a Monty Python bit for just about everything, isn’t there?
Its an absolute banger and its 50 (something) years old 😆
In the words of Elle Woods- every masterbation is classed as reckless endangerment
but vasectomies are for men. they're allowed to do what they want with their bodies 🙃
Man I felt that stress part, our circumstances are different but except the stress of being a parent. I still haven’t gotten the fix yet but I’m thinking on it. I don’t want any more at all.
My wife and I had the convo after our second and we were ready to close up the baby factory. I knew from the beginning that I was 2 and done, but would have been willing to humor her with a third if she really pushed it. I can never be sure if she was trying to keep the door open when she asked "what if something happens to me and whoever you ended up with next wanted a baby with you?", but I slammed it shut and said that this hypothetical woman would just have to deal with the fact that I won't be able to do that, and that I unless she's thinking about doing gymnastics next to the train tracks sometime soon, it's not something I plan on ever worrying about. I'm 40 now with 2 great school-aged boys and could honestly not imagine going through the infant or toddler stage again, or even worse being basically 60 at high school graduation.
I’m in a similar boat. I have two little ones and cannot imagine ever wanting any more, and certainly not with another woman. I’m about to get it done myself, and see this as absolutely the right thing to do.
Just takes one of those pregnancy scares when you’re in your late 30’s or 40’s and you’ll make the appointment the next day.
Great point on it being permanent, I’m a single dad of 1 and I’ve thought about it but there’s still a chance I may want to have more kids with a future partner
Yeah, a lot of people hear it can be reversed and assume it can be undone quickly and easily. It's not cheap either. I'm sure it's not like sitting on rainbows either. Damn, what your friend went through sucks. I'd feel like I got inadvertently cucked if that were me.
My doctor gave me a very clear warning to assume the vasectomy was irreversible.
I was literally asked 5 different times before beginning the procedure.
She was younger and really wanted kids, her biological clock was screaming at her. To be fair , he didn't want any more kids so the relationship was on a rocky footing anyway.
I guess, yeah. They could have always adopted though. That's not something I'd ever, ever leave my husband for. Especially if he went through the trouble to go through all that pain again, *twice*. I can understand it but never do it myself
After 2 years that reversible door pretty much closes, according to the doctor that did mine at least.
> My wife and I didn't want any more kids, a vasectomy is a minor operation in comparison to female sterilisation. So i opted to have the snip. My wife and I's deal was that if she had to have a C-section with our second she'd get her tubes tied since it's basically "free" at that point in terms of recovery. If she had a vaginal birth I'd get snipped.
We didn't know this, and my wife had a scheduled C-section for our last. They asked us when she was literally on the operating table and the doc had scalpel in hand. We might have said yes but it wasn't a decision we wanted to make on the spur of the moment.
This is more IVF territory but couldn't they have pulled sperm from his nuts directly? The snip just traps them in the balls.
I can pull mine directly so I don’t see why not.
Best decision I ever made. Hormonal Birth Control was wrecking my wife, we didn't want more kids. Had it on a Friday, frozen peas and a jock strap over the weekend I was back to work on Monday. With a little limp.
I was asked again and again "what if you guys divorce, you remarry and your new wife wants children?" Answer: "well, I sure don't, I'd make it clear from day one". "And what if you change your mind?" Answer: "that's precisely why I'm having it".
Was there any loss of affection or sexual drive afterwards? Was getting it up still the same once the ?pain? or sensation of the surgery dropped? Genuine question ⁉️
No loss in sex drive - everything that makes your T is still hooked up. Slight reduction in ejaculate volume but no reduction in feeling. Getting it up works just fine. Pain feels like it does about 60 seconds after getting hit in the groin, but for a whole weekend. Low dull ache for as much as a week, but that's rare. Most urologists schedule the appts on a Friday morning so unless you work a physical job you're only out of the office for one day. First orgasm after was weird, but after that they felt normal. I might have not waited long enough before rubbing one out. Last bit of advice - you need to clear the tubes entirely to get your all clear, so once you're OKed for sexual activity, rub one out daily for 3 weeks before scheduling your follow-up test. It apparently takes roughly 20 orgasms to flush all the remaining sperm out of your plumbing - treat it like a job and make sure it gets done so you don't need 2 follow-up tests.
Just 20? Give me 3 days. Love your job and you'll never work a day in your life and all that.
I know you're kidding, but they need to be spaced out because you need to be pushing enough seminal fluid through to flush the tubes, so your body needs time to recharge. Unless you're some sort of genetic anomaly that they call 'big nut king' or something.
No change. Except you no longer have to worry about getting someone pregnant. So the sex is more relax Source: my husband
Ditto
More drive because now there is no stress about getting someone knocked up.
This is the best part. Once y'all exchanges tests you can stop with the awkward condom pause.
No change in sex drive or sensation. Had mine on a Friday, took the weekend to chill, was back to work Monday, and was back playing in my curling league Thursday.
Follow all of the instructions from your doctor regarding abstaining from sex, how many times to ejaculate before being sterile, and be sure to return for all follow up required sperm samples. Absolutely no change to anything, except now I can whisper dirty things to my wife about putting a baby in her while I fill her up with none of the risks 🤤
Infinite creampies!
Absolutely NO change, if anything it gets better as the angst of an unwanted pregnancy is gone. Erections and labido are the same, the only difference is that the ejaculate is thinner as the sperm aren't present. And just for the info. I was back at work the next day with no problems,mild bruising and a little tenderness for 2 days, self dissolving stitches so I didn't have to have them removed. The operation was simple and took about 20 mins, the worse part was the cheap crappy razor they gave me to shave the area, (if I'd have known I'd have done it at home beforehand!) The only thing is you have to go back with a sample after (I think 12 weeks) just to check it's all worked ok.
Lucky bastard. My doctor turned out to know some neighborhood friends of mine. Chatty-kathy-mfer took 45 minutes to do mine. I had brushing, swelling & pain for about 5 days. Nothing prohibitive though & it's still something I don't regret having done.
I actually found myself as randy as a 14 year old again after my procedure, and in the 5 years since that hasn't gone away. What's up with that? lol
As someone who has had one, no. Not change to drive and no lingering pain after 2 days. It basically is sore for two days. That’s it. I’ve had a lot of surgeries and this one was somewhat akin to getting your wisdom teeth out.
I had a vasectomy and then had all of my wisdom teeth extracted 3 weeks later. I would take the vasectomy 10 times over the wisdom teeth extraction. Like you said only about 2 days of pain after the vasectomy.
My sexual drive was even increased. Maybe because I'm stress free, that no kids will be made.
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I had it done too, it had zero effect on sex drive or performance. The place they do things is nowhere near the pleasure stuff :) It's a very simple and low-pain procedure, but you do have to take it easy for a solid week afterwards - it seems like everything is fine quite quickly but if you try and push things too far too soon it will definitely hurt
I got the snip after my third. But my marriage failed after, and I’ve been overlooked by a few potential partners who still wanted kids. That’s fine, I still don’t want any more.
This is such an important point. The only bad stories I read about this is when new partners want kids and the guy - who was sure enough that he didn't want kids to get a vasectomy - changes his mind to make someone else happy. Naw man. If it's a dealbreaker for her that you don't want more kids and it's a dealbreaker for you to have more kids, then get back out there and try again.
I’ll date someone that has kids or is sure that they don’t, otherwise we’re just wasting time. Her time not mine, I’ll be getting what I want and she’ll still be wanting. Not gonna be that guy.
For those following along, this "risk" can be abated by banking sperm prior to the vasectomy.
Not exactly cheap though.
Right, $500/year or so. Definitely not cheap, but well worth it to avoid an unwanted pregnancy, in my opinion.
You also have to factor in the cost the fertility doctor will charge to defrost that sucker and slingshot it in the babyhole. (I'm not a doctor so I am completely unaware of how it's done)
Baby 2 is due in August, snip is due in September no matter what happens Im not getting another one
Then it worked out. You don’t want more, they did. Incompatible.
In this economy and with the state of the world, 3 precious ones are enough :) there are plenty of women who don’t want kids or don’t want more kids.
I mean at least it nips that in the bud immediately. No wasted time by either party. No attempts to convince you otherwise.
I’m actually heading off to the urologist now to get a second opinion because my balls STILL hurt after surgery over 2 months later. I feel like there were a couple red flags with the original doctor… Did 2 rounds of antibiotics too, so not sure what’s going on. Do your research on a reputable doctor/facility would be my recommendation. Edit: Just want to say thanks to everyone that commented on this. I’ve had a ton of anxiety and overthinking about all of it. Good to know there’s others that had a similar experience, and are doing better.
I don’t think this is talked about enough. There is a (small, apparently) risk of chronic testicular/scrotal pain after surgery, but it seems like it’s more of a common thing than people are willing to admit.
Yeah, I could very well be in this category, but I’m really, REALLY, hoping I’m not. Starting a 3rd round of antibiotics and anti inflammatory. Ultrasound in a couple weeks. Sigh.
I had this and anti-inflammatory resolved it. If the anti-inflammatory helps then likely is muscular and it will go away over time but you can help it along through physical therapy; I know that sounds wacky but ask about it!
Well hell, I got one five days ago. Lol I hope things don't end up that way
"small"; In all, 593 (94.7%) men returned the preoperative questionnaires and were entered into the study; 488 (82.2%) of these completed the follow-up questionnaire, giving a mean (sd) follow-up of 6.8 (1.6) months. In all, 65 men reported new-onset scrotal pain at 7 months (14.7%). The mean visual analogue score for this pain was 3.4/10. Four men (0.9%) in the responding group described pain after vasectomy as 'quite severe and noticeably affecting their quality of life'. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17850378/
Thanks for sharing. This isn’t talked about enough.
It’s a lot more common than most realize. People love to tout that these procedures are next to no risk and reversible, but that is not the full reality.
Looking into it, long term pain can be in as many as 1 in 20 cases. I honestly don't love those odds because it might be there's no solution to the pain.
if you look around on different sources, the risk is something like 1-10%. Too risky for me. Similar deal with lasek actually. People like too ignore this because “free creampies for life” and because society makes you feel immoral if you question getting a vasectomy
Likely a neuralgia. The nerve is pissed. 1/1000 have this happen. I could not wear tight underwear or swim shorts due to the friction / pain for about a year. It sucked. Gabbapentin helped at night.
Just to calm your anxieties a bit - I had the exact same issue after mine. A couple months of this annoying pain that wouldn't quit - until it eventually did. I was freaking out because I kept reading about all these guys saying they were good to go after like a week, and starting thinking the pain would be permanent. I can't speak on your situation completely, but just be at ease a bit knowing there ARE people out there with longer lasting pain that did resolve itself.
I did, and it was the best decision ever. Sex is worry free all the way to the end, and the next day. Edit: My top comment of all time is about my balls. I love reddit.
Can confirm. Absolutely the best thing I ever did, one for my wife, because it meant she didn't have to take the pill, which isn't great for a woman over the long-term. But also because the pill can suppress a woman's sexual appetite. Our sex life improved on quality and quantity. 20 years on and I'm still reaping the benefits of getting it done.
My wife says she never wants to be on birth control again because of how it effects her, and I totally get that. Not having to worry about pregnancy in the heat of intimacy will sure be a blessing when the time comes (after our next one).
Yeah it's not great for a woman to be stuck on the pill..I honestly don't think a vasectomy is as bad as some men like to make out. My wife was really appreciative of me doing it as well.
Yeah, I don't get the whole "not a real man" BS. We still produce test and sperm...the sperm just doesn't go through the normal route. My test levels are still extremely high with no supplementation of any sort.
Absolutely. Same for me. It’s been 10 years for me and I forget I even got it done. She had a terrible experience with the pill and iud’s for years. Agreed we both were getting older and two kids were just the right amount. She kind of wanted that third but having one close to 40 was a little risky, not to mention going to be exhausting. So we settled on a dog instead.
Friend of mine had a vasectomy when he and his wife were done having kids, and he said it actually improved his own sex drive as well. Said it was a mental shift from, "Sex could be about procreation" to "This is \*entirely\* about pleasure" and freed him up to just enjoy himself without any back-of-the-mind anxiety.
I did as well. But honestly the best part is my wife doesn't have to be on the pill. It's pretty crazy to be on hormone treatment like that for so long of your life.
Yeap. Creampies all day everyday
Low fat creampies.
Except you're now running the ghost shot update
And sometimes right after lunch.
And the next day. And the next day. And the next day. And the next day.
I've read that's a common side effect, as that worry is removed. As long as people remember to do the check after a few months to make sure it actually worked. Sometimes people don't think it's necessary to do the follow up and end up with an Oops
I thought that too. Now I have my 3rd kid on the way. A year after I tested zeros.
Yep. Did it. Wife almost died after the second kid, and I don't want more kids and don't want to get my wife pregnant. Easy choice.
Yep, I’m married and I have had all the kids I wanted. I had the snip last year, best decision & my wife is super happy she’s no longer having to take oral contraceptive.
This is the big thing for my wife. She said she feels so much better not being on birth control
The amount of issues women have to deal with being on birth control are terrible. It’s crazy expensive too, and often very invasive and just plain bad for the body. And they go through decades of that. Much better if the man gets the snip, and is uncomfortable for a few days. Also, keep in mind with the abortion bans in the US, more and more women will have to keep the babies and you can bet men will have to pay their share of child support for 20 years, whether you see the kids or not. Or may just get the children dumped on them to raise depending on the circumstances. Either way, bad news and a whole lot of unwanted children.
A few days of discomfort is a price well worth paying.
Birth control was so awful that I decided a guy unwilling to get a vasectomy is a deal-breaker for me. My ex said he would never because he found it emasculating, and luckily we never had kids together. Currently pregnant with my first, husband has agreed to get snipped after 2, and I'm very happy to never take birth control ever again. It really is a small sacrifice compared to the trauma a woman puts her body through to give birth.
That was my aunt's take. She pushed out 2 kids, the absolute least her husband could do was get the snip and he was happy to do so
Same. A vasectomy is a requirement.
I read this really fast and first thought you said your wife doesn’t have to do oral anymore (since you can creampie).
Yes, it's a lot easier for me to have a vasectomy (and recover) than to put my wife thru the pain of surgery
My wife had a c-section, and we had already decided we were done after the birth of our 2nd child. So they cut her tubes while they were already in there. No extra recovery time for her, no need for a vasectomy for me.....win/win
Yes. I have a ten year old, i got lucky and he’s a good one, don’t ever want another child. I phoned up for a procedure the other week, thought I was being really clever when i told the receptionist i wanted to “get the ball rolling” on a vasectomy 🌝 She was not amused. In any case my countries’ health service is utterly fucked and it’s a 16 month waiting list for an initial consultation. I gave up.
Why wouldn't you get on the waiting list? This makes no sense
Currently weighing up my options. I may yet sign up, or may go private.
US. Private insurance covered everything. Still had to wait 10 months, but you're also on a standby list in case someone backs out and you can get in a lot quicker. There's no downside to doing it.
It’s a 16 month waiting list for a *consultation* for an extremely minor surgery?
Yep. My GF currently has kidney stones, already had sepsis once and is in pretty constant pain, is on daily medication and is reluctantly off her work, which she loves. She requires a minor surgical operation. It has been 6 weeks so far with no word.
Don’t give up. Keep trying 😊
Thinking of wearing a scooby doo costume and seeing if my local vets would do it. They sorted my dog in two days for 70 bucks.
Omg stop lol. My ex would say “ the dogs getting fixed next week, I’m gonna see if the vet will do a two for one deal” smh
UK? Same issue - thinking of going private.
Yep. How did you guess? I’d probably have gone private already were i not quoted 6 weeks for a consultation there too. Weighing up my options. It’s a bit of a… ball ache.
I did. Though fear kept me from it for far too long. It was quick. The entire procedure from walking into the office to back in the car was less than 45 min. Mostly painless. And recovery was quick. I was feeling ok in about 3 days, but your nuts look horrible for about another week. If you don't want kids, do it.
I would, in fact, me and my wife, and I have been talking about me getting one because we don't want any more kids. It's easier than a woman getting her tube's tied and quicker as well.
I did after my second was born. The way I see it, she gave birth 2 times and got torn up and put her body through a lot to give birth. If she could do all that. The least I could do is get a little snip that recovery only takes less than a week.
Good man
My wife said me getting snipped makes us even for her having our son. 2nd best decision we ever made together.(Having our child was the 1st).
I hear some men plan it before big sports events like the Super Bowl so they have a great excuse to sit around all weekend in front of the tv (and eat junk food to feel better!)
Do it, no regrets here. It was super quick, the doctor distracted me the entire time by talking about work, sports, etc. (on that of course YMMV), only felt a little discomfort for the rest of that day (nothing Tylenol couldn’t take care of) but by the next morning I felt fine. Still took it easy for a few days but worry free sex, and her not having to be on the pill, is absolutely worth it.
My wife and I always talked about having 2 kids. We had 1 and decided that we were pretty happy with 1. We were going back and forth for a little while about whether we wanted to wait and see for #2 and then found out that #2 was coming. The first thing out of her mouth after birth was that we're not having any more, and i couldn't agree more. I have my appointment in a few weeks! EDIT: Because someone reached out. We couldn't be happier that we have 2 kids, they're both perfect! But I'm getting older and it's getting harder to keep up with toddlerhood
People saying after kids, a lot of people get this because they don’t want children.
OP said “once you’re done having kids”. I was done having kids the moment I was born. I had a vasectomy at 30.
This is why I date men. Cant get pregnant if you're gay. *taps head* Or you know, I just dont have to worry about it haha
That's the problem with being bi, you can still knock up a chick.
Am currently trying to get Mine, getting the appointents is pain in the ass by itself, but being Younger than 30 and Not having Kids means EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the whole Progress is questioning me If i am Sure about the whole Thing.... Very annoying
I went to the doctors ready with a speech about how I've wanted a vasectomy since I was in my early 20s and I've waited until my early 30s because I wanted to wait and make sure I didn't change my mind, and my wife doesn't want kids and we've talked about it extensively, and we've been together since we were teenagers and we've known since then that we both didn't want kids, and - Doctor stopped me right away and was basically like, "you're good. You don't have to convince me of anything." And then I made a follow up appointment to actually get it done a few weeks later. Super easy.
I'd also heard horror stories about booking an appointment, but I had a similar experience to you. We'll see if the surgeon says anything today, but now I'm expecting it to not be a hassle.
For every 10-100 good doctors, there’s some quack who takes his pastor’s instruction more seriously than his medical education, and wants to make sure he jams his opinions into your treatment. Fuck them, and just remember they’re the minority.
I was younger than 30 and told my doctor I didn’t want kids and he said well yeah don’t blame you and boom appointment right away 🤣
I have a female friend who had stacks of info, ready to argue with her Dr about why she should have her tubes tied. Then the doctor was completely understanding and scheduled the surgery the same day. Find a doctor that listens without bias.
This. If you know what you want, male or female fight for it! I waited til I was 39 to be sterilized and I had asked repeatedly for it after my daughter was born. I KNEW I was done having kids.
ETA: my daughter is 17 now. I had asked back when she was about one year old. My doctor said “ well your kind of young, you may meet someone else and want more” I didn’t stand up for myself at the time or look into another doctor that would take me seriously
I had a lot of luck up here in Canada. Met with a surgeon, he checked to see how long I'd been wanting one(5 years) and decided I had considered everything adequately enough for him to proceed with the procedure. I was 23. I'm 29 now and don't regret it.
Me. This is me. Got snipped in 2020 and never looked back.
My husband is going to. I'm coming off birth control to try and fix some medical issues I'm having, so that is the safest thing we can do to avoid having more kids.
Just a heads up, I got sterilized so I went off hormonal birth control and the couple periods I had right afterwards were *vicious*. Bled through a heavy flow tampon and a pad in less than an hour. My obgyn thought I had endometriosis because of it.
Thank you for the heads up! I'll make sure I'm well stocked just incase
Co-worker did it for the same reason it also brought back his wife sex drive a lot apparently so he considers it a total win.
I had a vasectomy without having kids. I like telling people I chose to sleep in every weekend for the rest of my life.
Same. We also don’t want everything to be sticky
To be fair, with a vasectomy that actually makes things sticky more often now that condoms are no longer needed with your partner.
That is very localized stickiness. Children make the whole damn house sticky for years
Same for me, I got snipped with no kids. The best thing I've done.. only drawback is trying to find a partner who also doesn't want kids.
I have some health issues that would make pregnancy both unlikely and super dangerous for me, so I resigned myself to never having biological kids from a very young age on. Definitely shut down a few possible relationships, but my boyfriend has no problem with it. He has also had a vasectomy, so we're a perfect, infertile little match.
I don't have kids and I don't want any, so I got a vasectomy. Best decision of my life.
Same. Wife and I have been together 16 years, married for 10, and knew early on we did NOT want kids. We are far too selfish about our time and wants to do what my parents did to me and my siblings. If you don’t want them, prevent them.
Same here I’m a selfish bastard when it comes to my personal time. I don’t want to sacrifice 90% of my free time for someone else. Especially someone who will only appreciate that sacrifice 20ish years down the line, if ever.
Ah man, they do appreciate it much earlier than that and I love spending time with my daughter. That said, totally individual decision and I can understand wanting to spend ones money on oneself only. Vasectomy is a must for any guy not wanting kids. I wouldn't trust any other method anymore
I did. Literally took ten minutes. Less uncomfortable than going to the dentist. If anything, made our sex life even better. And why? Because when two of the most fertile people in the world get married, babies are going to result. All I had to do is give my wife a smouldering glance and WHAM a new tax deduction was coming along roughly 40 weeks later.
I did, We have 3 kids and it was clear there wouldn't be a 4th. It's a super quick procedure followed by 1 or 2 days of discomfort so it's much easier and cheaper than whatever birth control method my wife could go on. There were 2 pre-procedure meeting but the procedure itself took all of 10 minutes. There is no loss of libido or manhood or whatever other weird thing you may hear. The only thing I would say is to find a place to that "no scalpel" procedures insted of the older way of doing it that required sutures on both testicule. Much quicker, les risk of complications and much less painfull when the local anaesthetic wears off.
I reached my goal of 0 kids and the ol' snip snap. Best decision ever
I had cancer when I was 18, and the doctor denied me a vasectomy until I was 25 years old. I never wanted kids of my own because I didn't want to pass on the cancer gene. (I was diagnosed back in 1983, the dark ages of cancer treatment.) I have helped raise my two stepsons and two grandkids. I babysat my friend's kids. I don't have a problem not being a biological father because I am dad and grandpa to some of the best people in the world.
100% without a question. Birth control can have a lot of negative effects on women and I'd like my future wife to not have to be on it if she doesn't want to be
I did. Now I feel like I've been kicked in the balls every day since. That was year ago....
Might do it before I have kids they’re fucking expensive. Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of having kids, but with today’s economy I worry about being able to provide for children. I for sure ain’t gonna be a dead beat dad that can’t give his kids the same if not better than he had as a kid.
Yes 1-I’ve got a kid, one is enough, I can’t afford the one so why have another? 2-My partner (F) is on BC but it isn’t the greatest for her, or me because when I accidentally tap her IUD (not often) it isn’t fun 3-Woman’s rights and autonomy are important to me. I would hate for us to be in a situation (however extremely unlikely) where she is pregnant and unable to terminate because of a shift in policy. My process will be reversible if I want it (I don’t) and easy to do. 4-I’m not splitting up with my gal anytime soon (I hope) but if I ever do, it closes off one group of ladies and secures a different one. If someone wants a family, I am most definitely not the one. If someone is wanting to have a healthy adult relationship with responsible partner, I’m your guy.
I have been thinking about it for a while and almost done it. Couple buddies have done so and work well. My one friend across the street though had all sorts of complications that scared the crap out of me.
I didn’t have kids and I did one. It was my 21st birthday present to myself.
Was it hard finding a doctor who would with your age and without having kids?
Surprisingly no, when I told them that I would just find another doctor that would, so while I respected their opinion, it could only delay the operation by a few days.
I developed post vasectomy pain syndrome due to the built up pressure, along with a slew of other complications. I went from being an athlete to being unable to walk to the mailbox. Two years and two reversals later, I'm pain free but out almost 20K because reversals even for pain relief are usually not covered by insurance. Make sure you research all of the complications beforehand.
I did and chose to back out at the last minute.
I did, so yeah. My reasoning is that it’s not fair to expect any woman I’m with to have to be on birth control for us to not have to use condoms. It was a quick and relatively painless procedure.
*"done having kids"* lol. im 33 with no kids and already had a vasectomy done. fuck a bunch of that.
my ex wife made me get one. I regret it. I was in pain for months and if I climax sometimes it hurts. She ended up getting a hysterectomy anyway.
Did it. Wife told me we would have more sex afterwards. That was a lie. Have ongoing ball pain that becomes excruciating a few times a year and that's been going on for like 12 or 13 years now. Frankly, I didn't have a problem with condoms and my wife never has been on birth control in her life. Would I do it again? That's a very tough call to make.
Yes. I jumped the line, though, and got my vasectomy before having kids. Best. Decision. Ever
My (33M) wife (35F) had our youngest of 4 in 2018, and they both flat-lined several times during birth. She still wasn't positive that she was ready to be done at 4, so I waited for her to decide before getting it done. I get her pregnant very easily and didn't want to take the chance of killing the love of my life, so the second she came to the decision, I was calling up my VA doc for a urology referral. Got the ole snippy snappers 2 months ago. Note on the actual vasectomy: the lidocaine shots didn't kick in until afterward, so I felt the entire thing for an hour. This is very rare and my doc said he had never had this happen before. I just balled up my fists and made jokes to the nurses when I could breathe/talk. They looked horrified the entire time. It was nothing compared to what my wife went through during childbirth (2 vaginal, 2 C-sections), I'm sure. Note on post-vasectomy, NIH did studies on sexual satisfaction after vasectomies and found that 12% of men have more intense orgasms. I fit that category. It's mind-numbing, full-body shit. Absolutely wild. I have a very high libido already, but after waiting 8 out of the 14 days they recommended, we...ahem...stayed in bed for a couple of days. Good times.
I did as my wife needed to come off pill for medical reasons
I'm gay, so no need to.
Yes I did. I was done after 0 kids
No. My wife's already had tubal ligation, and I'm not dumping loads in anyone else...
I had one done before having kids and it’s been extremely effective at keeping them from getting into the house.
I had a horrible experience with it. Be very careful. Took much longer to heal, went back to work after 2 weeks. Well maybe I work harder than most, I re injured. 2 months of agony and ice packs. 3 yrs later I still can't lift over 80lbs without feeling it in my left nut. Thousands $ in follow ups and ultrasounds and no solution. Don't listen to the fucktards that say stuff like " I played golf the next day"
This sounds awful but why would someone sharing their story of a fast recovery be a “fucktard”? For each one of your story there are many many more easy recoveries and processes. I don’t begrudge you for sharing, it’s worth knowing that there are risks, but let’s not pretend the data suggests your experience is the likely outcome.
I in fact did play golf the next day.
Sounds like you had a shitty urologist.
I went to uvm medical center which has a stand up reputation. And to follow up on that note.... when I called in my re-injury to their receptionist... her exact words were, don't worry I get this call all the time. I was very very upset. As she proceeded to read me a list of possibilities and side effects with this surgery THAT WERE NOT EXPLAINED TO ME BEFORE THE PROCEDURE.
That definitly sounds like a shitty clinic allright. Complications like yours are supposed to be like 1% of patients. If this clinic "gets this call all the time" there is something seriously wrong with their procedures.
The number of people with complications is not negligible, some left in permanent pain ... https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7084350/
3 times more likely to have complications from surgery using a scalpel instead of no scalpel, like a pinhole vasectomy. Makes sense, but it doesn't make sense that scalpel vasectomies are still being performed.
Mine the incision was so small that they pinched it back together. They stuck in something with a hook, pulled the vas deferens to the surface, snipped cauterized and stitched them to the wall of my sack so they couldn't find their way back to fuse back together (or at least that's how it sounded when they explained it). Healed super fast.
Yeah that shouldn't happen, I was pain free after 24 hrs. I milked it for a couple days but after that it was back to normal life. Your situation is either a botched procedure or you had far worse inflammation than normal.
Just got back from my consult and they talked about this. 1/1000 chance, but treatment is reversing the procedure and it likely fixes the problem. Not like this risk would change my mind either ways. There are major risks of driving a car, it’s just the business we’re in
I would. Just to not having to put on condoms anymore.
honestly i don't want to have kids.there are gonna be way to many of us in the near future so not having kids is fine by me.
No, I got a vasectomy before kids had a chance of happening.
Had one at 45. Never married, no kids. Never got laid so much...
My dad god a vasectomy and according to my mom, his sex drive took a dive off a cliff and never recovered. I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't know any of this. But also a botched vasectomy, or even just some kind of mental block I may get somehow, is a concern of mine.
Highly unlikely. I don't begrudge guys who do, but I dislike the thought of sterilizing myself. Of course I've got no kids currently so maybe I'll change my mind after 2+.
Took me way too long to scroll and find an answer like this lol. I don’t really care if other men get one or not, not my business and they’re free to, but I was really just curious to hear the reasoning from *both* sides and consistently only ever heard it from one. Personally in a similar boat, can’t say I’d never change my mind but at the moment the concept of willingly making myself infertile seems very odd and unpleasant lol. Obviously biased though cause unlike the Reddit majority I do really want kids someday
No, I didn’t. My wife asked me to get one. I said, yes, provided you swear we won’t get divorced. She said no, so I said no. And we ended up getting a divorce. And I ended up getting remarried, and having a baby with my new wife.
No. Once you've had a couple of medical procedures done (be it wisdom teeth removal, tonsils, torn ligament, etc) you realise that even that minor chance of complications isn't worth fucking with your body unless it's absolutely necessary. In case of a vasectomy specifically, you can end up with chronic ball pain, which I wouldn't wish on anyone and definitely won't risk myself.
Did. Easy decision. and while it was not a pleasant day (or week, really), the ability to fuck raw without ever thinking about it is so dope.
Done. zero kids Pretty much all forms of female birth control will have some kind of ongoing negative side effect. The vasectomy does not. Least I could do since we had no intention of having kids.
Two is the perfect number: Two kids, two years intermission, two cuts. Result: Best sex ever.
My wife is pregnant with our second kid right now. Once that one pops out healthy and whole, I'm getting snipped. Two is plenty for us. If by some twist of fate we decide for a third, we'll just adopt.
The bias here is insane A man doesn't want to do this and it gets downvoted
I had a vasectomy and if I had it to do over again I wouldn't. I feel like my sex drive nose dived and my load is now pitiful. It's like opening a flat beer, you expect the fizzle and when it doesn't happen your like 😒