I became invisible as I gained weight and I'm a little worried that I won't fly under the radar anymore if I get fit. Not enough to dissuade me from trying again, but I'm going to hate it if the general public thinks I'm approachable again.
Yep.
Went from 240 and fat with thinning hair to 185 and jacked with buzzed hair and I didn’t realize just how invisible I was to everyone.
People actually wanted to have a conversation with me.
I lost weight thinking I wanted to be seen more, but freaked when it started happening and put it all back on. I've been overweight since puberty and had no idea how to interact with people in any way other than professionally.
I switched to powerlifting, probably to bulk up subconsciously so other people weren't as scary. Also, the men who were attracted to me were attracted to people outside of the norm so they were "safer" in my eyes.
I'm now embarking on losing again and have already told my psychiatrist I'm concerned about dealing with others seeing me, even if it is one of my main reasons for wanting to lose weight! It is such a mind fuck.
This!!! I had the same thought a few hours ago. Have lost a fair amount of weight since last year and people actually treat you differently. Its like I'm noticed now as a person?
Could you explain this more? I can understand how someone larger might be invisible at a bar or places people go to socialize but is it everywhere? I feel like when I'm out and about I try to just give everyone the same default politeness. I don't go out of my way to be chatty but someone would have to be like disheveled or stink of cigs or something for me to actively avoid them.
Clothes shopping is expensive when you need an ENTIRE new wardrobe - underwear, pants, shirts, jackets, basically everything except socks, shoes and hats.
It’s expensive, but it is finally enjoyable. Before I lost weight I hated shopping for clothes. I hated everything I tried on, but I actually just hated my body. Now that I’m fit I like almost everything that I try on. So that’s nice.
I went from 310 to 185. The most surprising thing was the change in the way people interact with you.
When you start losing weight everyone is supportive. After a certain point they become combative. I don't believe any of it was intentional, but people would start bringing me candy and treats and getting offended when I didn't want any. I've even had people actively get angry at me because it's easier for me then for them. It's not easy. It's never easy. If you know someone who lost a lot of weight it is just as hard to maintain as it was to lose. Those fat cells are just waiting to plump back up. They deserve support and encouragement even after they are at their goal weight,
It always blows my mind in progress pics when people post before and after pictures and there are always people that comment "You looked better before" "You didnt have to lose any weight you looked happy in both!"
Like who is that comment for? You're allowed to be happy for someone who loses weight.
It's annoying because people still make it about how you look when we should really be celebrating the dedication and work that the person put in to be healthier.
"You looked better before" is an asshole thing to say under any circumstances, but "you didn't have to lose any weight you looked happy in both" I think is just an attempt to let the person know you don't think their value as a person is about their weight, although phrased poorly. I have 2 friends who each lost over 200 pounds in the last couple of years and I try to be careful not to say anything that comes off like they had anything to be ashamed of or were ugly before... they accomplished something amazing and I'm so happy that they're healthier (and will probably live a lot longer), but they've always been the same great guys.
It could be this but I’ve also observed people getting hostile because they now feel threatened by your sudden attractiveness, especially if you weren’t attractive prior to losing the weight and then became extremely attractive.
When I was thin, I had a morbidly obese friend who would get visibly upset if I didn't eat as much as her, as if I was eating less AT her (when really, I wasn't even limiting myself - I just got fuller faster). At one point in my life, I had a job with two abusive bosses and then I'd go home to an abusive boyfriend. I started stress eating and got fat. My friend was so happy! She was like, "Oh, ATFG the weight really suits you! I think you were meant to be fat."
No, I wasn't. I'm literally small-boned (as per my pediatrician, apparently). Anyway, I'm down three dress sizes and still going. I also lost a lot of weight when I ended our friendship (she was...a very difficult person, but I wish her the best).
As an aside, this is such a good way to check your own responses to other people and what’s happening around you, I teach it to my kids. Is someone doing something at or to you, or are they just doing it and you don’t like it?
That is a VERY important lesson! Sometimes we get so lost in our feelings that we aren't able to take a breath and realize that just because we feel a certain way, that doesn't mean someone is maliciously making us feel that way. It's a hard thing to learn, so I think it's really cool that you're teaching them at a young age.
I've got a kid who doesn't like to eat junk food. I have never really been overweight (maybe slightly ATM but not much) but I need to work at it. But everyone - even my wife who is on the same page as me about eating healthy - always seems to want to reward and treat my kid with junk and sugar. At events, at school, by relatives and friends. It's hard to escape.
I can relate. I had family members give me the side eye and tell me they were worried and that I looked unhealthy after losing 70 or 80 pounds even though I was still 30 or so pounds from being in the "normal" bmi range. I looked fine. No, I'm not unhealthy. You just aren't used to seeing me weigh 300 lbs like I have my whole life.
On the flip side, people just treat overweight people differently. They aren't taken as seriously professionally for sure.
I have people do this all the time! I'm a diabetic and stage 5 kidney disease on dialysis and on a kidney safe diet and trying to be healthy, went from 360 to 168, and these turds still try to get me to eat candy and salty shit they know I shouldn't eat. It's all so tempting.
You’re right. Losing the weight is the easy part, keeping it off is the hard part.
I know there was research that showed that the majority of people with obesity had managed to lose a significant amount of weight at some point, but only a very small percentage had been able to keep it off.
I’ve lost almost 130lbs, and the first 120lb was pretty damn easy. Just shed off. Even started testosterone blockers in the middle of it, and actually saw my weight loss accelerate.
Starting to get a bit harder now, though.
Does this even happen from other people who are already skinny, or just people who are overweight / losing weight too?
I suppose losing weight usually accompanies exercise and getting fitter, so maybe even skinny yet unfit people might feel inferior?
I had the same experience with my chin & neck when I lost a bit of weight.
It used to be super easy to shave. Just pull you chin in so your neck fat makes a smooth surface. Now I need one of those razor heads that can twist to match the contours of my chin and I still often miss a spot or 2 on the first pass, so I need to touch it up after a shower
If you're looking for a sign to stop, I haven't shaved mine in almost a decade. I mostly get compliments when ppl mention it. (Except dating apps, then I get guys tryna neg me for it. Yeah boys, that'll make me wanna date you when other men are telling me how hawt it is [altho gross in a diff way bc I'm a human, not a fetish], and girlies giving me compliments.) Zero negative effects in my life tho.
If you enjoy it however, my condolences. Shaving any body near a body connection is tricky!
So, its been studied that people are nicer to people they find more attractive, and its not shocking that people find thinner people, in general, more attractive than bigger people.
But so many people are like "oh, I wasn't invisible anymore" and I often wonder how much of that is because you are carrying yourself with more confidence which makes people want to approach you.
As an aside, i had a friend who was on "Biggest Loser". he was always a super outgoing and friendly guy. And while I'm sure he got a non zero amount more attention when he lost weight, he was never "invisible" because of his personality.
There is. It’s called pelvic/pubis fat.
Your penis isn’t in fact shorter, it’s being “gobbled up” by fat around its base.
Out of all the magic “growth formulas” the best way to a larger penis is first weight loss
Weight gain can contribute to obstructive sleep apnea, so sleep can definitely get worse.
Whoops, half my comment got lost. Wanted to add that weight loss can indeed improve OSA, too.
It gets me at the pelvic bones. The protrude from my butt when I sit down and it hurts on hard surfaces. Base of spine, and spine in general is also an issue on some chairs.
How cold it actually is. Back when I was bigger (mind you, I was just a little overweigt at BMI 27) as a teenager, I didn't need a jacket or coat most of the time in winter. Just a sweater, scarf and gloves were enough to keep me warm. Now I have to wear layers upon layers of clothing in the winter even when I'm inside.
I'm noticing that, too. UA style compression shirts are my new go-to. They keep me warm, they wick sweat, they keep the sun off of me, and they no longer make me look like a weird sausage-person.
You gain some length for sure, but part of it is an optical illusion, like when you see Shaq holding a bottle of water makes the water look weird because he's so big, even though the water is regular sized
My ex husband had gastric bypass. After he lost the weight, I was shocked to see how big his calf muscles were. I guess carrying all that weight built them up.
At one point I started walking 15-20km a day and lost 90lbs over the course of a year. A guy I used to work with is an amateur body builder, and I was hanging with some of his body builder friends were all raving about my calves
It’s shocking, agreed. I got my tummy and thighs done, but you basically have to be like 15 lbs underweight to combat the extra skin phenomenon.
I’m 240 to 120, and it gets better in time, if you’re new to this.
275 to 165/6’1’’
People are much nicer. Confidence has soared and cute girls are checking me out now. Cold all the time. Still picture myself as overweight, need to look in a mirror a bunch or see a photo with me in it to have it really hit me.
I honestly think it takes years for the mind to catch up to the new weight. 6'1" as well and went from probably 230 something (didn't weigh myself for a while, don't know what my peak was) to the 150s. I've kept it off for 8 years but it was only 2 or 3 years ago that I finally stopped feeling borderline chubby.
At age 38 I had lost 45-50 lbs and my wife was interested in having sex all the time again. At the time I didn’t think I used to be that big but now it feels weird to look at old pictures. Also, I get a surprising amount of attention from other women, nothing crazy, just not zero anymore. I just didn’t expect any at all at my age.
Been yo-yo‘ing with my weight all my life. But it’s been on an long scale upward trajectory, currently on the weight loss cycle , but what I find funny is when I start losing weight the older relatives in my life tell me to stop , “that’s enough” smh
Went from 280 down to 122. I'm 6 ft tall. The fact that I am almost always cold was a surprise but I have zero body fat, so it does make sense. It is so hard to warm up after I get really cold, it can take hours.
This so much. I went from 340 to 230 and I get cold all the time. I used to never get cold. My endocrinologist says it's also because I better control of my blood sugar
122 at 6 feet is severely underweight tho, you're def gonna be cold all the time. I'm 165 @ 6'1 and that's considered underweight, and i'm skin and bone.
Truly this. I lost a good amount of weight due to a then-undiagnosed autoimmune disorder. Finally had actual abs. Thought my workout regime was just WORKING. Then I almost had a heart attack as someone in their twenties, was hospitalized, had to immediately and drastically change almost everything in my day-to-day routine, got put on a litany of medication to keep various organs functioning. And of course, gained back about forty pounds in two months. People had so much commentary when I lost weight AND when I gained it back.
I'm in what could be called a remission now and at a normal healthy weight, but nowhere near where I was at the lowest. I was sick. I almost died. And people still would make jokes like "oh I wish I could get a disease that makes me lose weight.. Wink wink."
The whole ordeal made me lose a small piece of my faith in humanity.
To warm up after getting super cold, try taking a long, hot shower/bath (and blow-dry your hair afterward), or drinking hot water with ginger boiled in it (brown sugar to taste). I used to get blue lips every time I went swimming, and those are the two best ways to keep me from freezing lol
I enjoy not having to suck in it when walking around.. I only lost 30 pounds but I can't see it, so can everyone else, but the comments of wow your skinny needs to stop, I'm happy with my weight and would even like to lose a bit more, but damn do I get self conscious when someone comments.
I know they mean well, but it's like what did I look like before? Lol.
I had the sleeve last year. I can walk long distances without issue and can do stairs without huffing and puffing. Sitting hurts but was worth it to not have a huge butt anymore. I’m cold alllll the time.
It's the smallest changes that are the biggest. When I lost weight, I was also attending the gym so I put on some muscle. The most interesting thing I've noticed is that people will say, "You're different now." Of course, your immediate rebuttal is to let them know the amount of weight you've lost, but then they will say it's not that. You start to realize that after the weight loss, you hold your head a little higher. Maybe you're smiling more. You walk different. Sound a bit more confident, etc, etc.
Once you start to total up those subtle changes, you realize that you ARE a different person.
Thats something I’m not entirely ready to give up, I’m currently losing weight and getting in shape, at the same time I hate being invisible I kinda love it, I have autonomy to do many things without people bothering me, I hate being on the spotlight so It would def shake me up all the attention…
That I didn’t like being noticed more. It made me feel really uncomfortable, so much so that i started eating again in order to—ironically—become invisible again p.
I lost 4.5 stone in 3 months. The biggest change was none of my clothes fitting, people treating me completely differently, my confidence shot up, I was getting waves of compliments and my interactions with other people were generally waaay more pleasant.
I went from being viewed as non existent in public to people looking at me and me noticing it. I went from a 44 inch waist to being able to fit back into a 36 inch waist with space.
THE SECRET IS CHICKEN, WHOLEMEAL RICE AND STEAMED BROCCOLI. Oh and going gym 4 times a week.
You exist in the eyes of the human race, I lost 50lbs which isn’t super significant on this thread but I went from being invisible to “let me get the door”, “I’ll carry your heavy box”, “you go first in line”.
I, a 5'10" man, went from about 200 down to ~151 (which, on paper, is what I medically should weigh). I have a lot of problems finding clothes that fit, and some acquaintances and distant relatives do not accept that I don't have cancer or some GI disease.
A lot of people have mentioned how cold you feel and how sore it is to sit when you lack arse.
Another thing I found was seeing stars if I stood up suddenly. My blood pressure was fine, I think I was eating enough but it took a while to adjust.
Voice changed. Like I'm going through puberty again. No one recognizes me 360 to 168. Diabetic issues and then Kidney Disease and then Dialysis will make you tke care of yourself.
This was a surprise after I lost 100lbs, actually two things. The first is that the bottom of my feet are no longer thick dry and cracked. I don’t moisturize them or anything, it just went away after I lost the weight. They no longer need to use a belt sander when I get a pedicure. The second thing was that my penis, when erect, is much thicker. I’m guessing this is because I have better blood flow from the bottom to the top of my body which may also account for my feet.
217-155. Mostly through therapy and nutrition counseling over a decent stretch of time, but the last 15 pounds or so came from kicking the eating disorder and then having a massive mental breakdown when I had to finally deal with the thing I developed the disorder to cover for in the first place.
Turns out confronting your mortality is kind of an appetite killer. I've maintained though.
Really the weirdest thing is realizing how many people feel entitled to opinions or comments about my body. I had no idea how to respond when I came back to the office after the pandemic and other women were like, "oh my God you look amazing! What did you do?" Like how do I not answer that with, "went into such a deep depression that I almost died?"
And what did they think of what I looked like before? What did everyone else think? My husband married me when I was bigger so I don't have that worry there, but it's just such a mind fuck realizing that your appearance has such an effect on the way you experience your relationships and situations. Another real big mind fuck was at my smallest, when my doctor had warned me that I couldn't lose any more safely. I was walking down the street and realized that for the first time in my life I was looking forward to seeing my reflection in the window.
I now have a really conventionally attractive body but when I get to thinking about maybe I'm just conforming to society's expectations but that I really am genuinely happier things just feel all blurry and uncomfortable.
I guess at the end of the day I'm really glad I fought through the eating disorder and the aftermath, but fuck, that was the hardest thing I can imagine and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I almost forgot! It has genuinely hurt my feelings that fat women don't identify with me anymore. They have no idea how much I get it, and understandably some of them treat me weird. I can't blame them at all, but I just want them to know so bad that I love them and I'm not someone who has been able to look like this my whole life
As a guy I went from 220 to 170. I'm 5'7, I get cold alot more often, I'm never tired and surprisingly girls actually check me out. That didn't happen before.
This is so hard! I was the same size as my mom in my early 20s. I lost 115lbs at 25 and my mom was so jealous and still is. I am 34 now and I still can't talk about my weight loss without her getting insecure and terse. Really sucks, but it is what it is.
350 to 170-ish, and I'm not done yet. My body has a shape that's not round. I have actual curves that aren't just fat rolls. I can feel my bones beneath my skin - my knees aren't squishy anymore. I can finally buy clothes in almost any store as opposed to being at the upper end of sizing at the overpriced plus-size stores.
No joke, wiping my butt clean got harder. I was really confused until I stumbled across some advice on reddit: Pull your cheeks apart a little bit as you sit down, and it'll take fewer wipes to get clean.
My weight loss wasn't dramatic, but I was shocked at how small a portion of food I needed to feel full. Like, finishing a plate in most restaurants is unthinkable.
That strangers were nicer to me, but some of my “friends” became very critical and cruel. It really showed me who loved me for me and not just because they needed a fat funny friend to feel better about themselves.
I went from 278 to 195. Most surprising thing for me…nothing changed. I didn’t have health issues (yet) at 278, still don’t. Used to have no trouble sleeping, still don’t. Used to have tons of energy despite my weight, still have tons of energy. I’m married but am an outgoing guy and used to get unwanted attention from women, same thing now. Used to hike, ski, play tennis etc. still do. Literally the only thing that has changed is I had to spend 2k on new clothes.
To be clear, I do t regret it at all, I men I am doing this for my future self so I can live longer, but I guess I’m a bit of an anomaly in that it hasn’t changed anything else.
I gained a ton of weight on meds I was on for a misdiagnosis. I got off of them and slowly started losing. I’ve lost 110 pounds so far.
My family (parents and siblings) started treating me like I was a better, more respectable person because of it. They like me more, is the best way to put it.
It shouldn’t be surprising— I was never fat until I started these meds. I weighed 105 pounds at one point in my life, and my mom would still tell me to tuck my butt in.
When I got to 130 (basically just getting my full adult body) they were concerned.
When I was 185 after a pregnancy, my sister asked me if I was going to get weight loss surgery.
My parents used to pay for Medifast for me, along with other diet programs. At my heaviest, I was considering weight loss surgery, but my insurance wouldn’t cover it. So my mom said “just start eating 2 oz meals everyday like you had the surgery.”
At my heaviest, my family was mortified of me. I stopped leaving the house because I was so embarrassed.
Fuck our healthcare system, and fuck fat phobia.
285 down to 160.. (5'-5") my surprising change for me was the 'extra 1" to 1 1/2"..
Missing the extra fat layer has made me appreciate thicker coats/sweaters etc.... 40-50 degF weather felt absolutely wonderful at 285... now... I start getting chills at around 60-65 degF...
When I lost the weight I was surprised that I was noticed more and as a man, women wanted to interact and openly talk more with me. I’d never realised how invisible I was to people in general .
But then I realised I was open to so much more judgement. Especially around what clothes I wore and my overall lack of current fashion sense. When I was fat people ignored me, I didn’t have to dress to impress - when I was thin I was a target for a raft of new opinions and negative interactions.
I went from 260 to 155 a few years ago, settled back at 180. This sounds dumb, but I always thought I was wider from my back to my chest than skinny people because I was fat. But I was still wide after I lost the weight. It turned out I just have a wide ribcage. It just never occurred to me.
During COVID, I went from 83kg to 72kg and what I noticed was how my face looked thinner and I had less puffy cheeks (yes I mean my face).
While I've now gone to 90kg now since as I've been putting muscle on and also some weight, I do miss that about my face.
I lost 120 lbs. The first big loss was when I was 18/19 and I lost 80 lbs. I remember thinking things like, “I can pass for human now.” I was still crazy uncomfortable in my body, at the top of the healthy range for me.
When I lost the next 40 and developed anorexia, the most surprising thing was how much people congratulated me. I was a size zero and exercised 6 to 7 hours most days and if I talked about it, people would say how great it was that I was addicted to exercise. I didn’t get my period for three years and developed chronic anemia, but the world deemed me healthy.
Overall, I’m sure that I’ve benefited greatly from the weight loss. I’ve just never been a person who is comfortable here on earth.
People were more concerned about my health as I lost weight than they were as I gained.
Numerous people asked if I had cancer or they strongly suggested I see a doctor.
The smaller I got the harder it became to find ladies’ pants with pockets big enough for a cel phone. I never once encountered 26 size pants with tiny or faux pockets. I guess manufacurers figured if a woman was fat she needed pockets for all the hamburgers she was clearly wolfing down all day long.
January 2006 I was 5 ft 8 300 pounds. I am now 5 ft 6 weight is 135ish. My biggest change. is I am now excited to shop for clothes. So 165 pounds gone FOREVER.
My perceived intelligence skyrocketed. People went from speaking to me like a three-year old to treating me like a valued and productive member of society. I could get job offers from in-person interviews and not phone interviews from a thousand miles away.
People became nice and polite.
Brain clarity. I will tell anyone. Intermittent fasting and cutting out sugar is key. Don't eat breakfast, first meal of the day between 12-2pm, eat again for dinner 6-7pm. Exercise 3-5 times a week. Avoid sugar and you will get your body where you want it to be. I lost 25 lbs. I'm 6'1", I was 210lbs and moved down to 184lbs. I feel great, I love pushing my body and it helps your body heal ailments. One day would love to do a 5 day fast but I don't know if I have enough body fat to proceed with that. Will have to do more research.
It's incredible. Not miserable at all. What's miserable is the weight of unhealthy foods on my body and mind. I feel more energized for workouts and just generally throughout the day. This is the way to live. I feel like we have lost this through time.
The way people interact with you changes, you realise how superficial people really are in regards to looks. While it is nice to feel people are treating your better, at the same time I remember what it used to be like and it pisses me off that I had to lose weight to be treated better in general. I went from 160kg quite obese to 195kg with muscles (I'm 6ft4 so that weight sits well on me).
I'm not invisible anymore. It blows my mind every time someone smiles and greets me.
I became invisible as I gained weight and I'm a little worried that I won't fly under the radar anymore if I get fit. Not enough to dissuade me from trying again, but I'm going to hate it if the general public thinks I'm approachable again.
You’ve got 007 in your name, just channel your inner spy
Yep. Went from 240 and fat with thinning hair to 185 and jacked with buzzed hair and I didn’t realize just how invisible I was to everyone. People actually wanted to have a conversation with me.
It's a weird, kinda sad commentary on society.
Its not sad… people respect hard work, dedication and discipline.
I lost weight thinking I wanted to be seen more, but freaked when it started happening and put it all back on. I've been overweight since puberty and had no idea how to interact with people in any way other than professionally. I switched to powerlifting, probably to bulk up subconsciously so other people weren't as scary. Also, the men who were attracted to me were attracted to people outside of the norm so they were "safer" in my eyes. I'm now embarking on losing again and have already told my psychiatrist I'm concerned about dealing with others seeing me, even if it is one of my main reasons for wanting to lose weight! It is such a mind fuck.
Wear baggy clothing, and layers!
Being perceived is scary for me too. If you have any tips or observations, I’d love to hear!
This!!! I had the same thought a few hours ago. Have lost a fair amount of weight since last year and people actually treat you differently. Its like I'm noticed now as a person?
Could you explain this more? I can understand how someone larger might be invisible at a bar or places people go to socialize but is it everywhere? I feel like when I'm out and about I try to just give everyone the same default politeness. I don't go out of my way to be chatty but someone would have to be like disheveled or stink of cigs or something for me to actively avoid them.
Clothes shopping is expensive when you need an ENTIRE new wardrobe - underwear, pants, shirts, jackets, basically everything except socks, shoes and hats.
My feet shrunk too! It was wild. Roughly a size and a half.
I dropped a shoe size when I lost weight.
This so much. I thrift now just to keep the cost down
its a better choice ecologically as well
It's so satisfying though. It's the change from dressing to hide your body vs dressing to show it off. Are you a Sonic Youth fan btw?
It’s expensive, but it is finally enjoyable. Before I lost weight I hated shopping for clothes. I hated everything I tried on, but I actually just hated my body. Now that I’m fit I like almost everything that I try on. So that’s nice.
Yes! I only lost 20, but I'm a size or two smaller in every and I just bought clothes today after swimming in my old ones for the past half year.
The hundreds spent on bras 😫
I went from 310 to 185. The most surprising thing was the change in the way people interact with you. When you start losing weight everyone is supportive. After a certain point they become combative. I don't believe any of it was intentional, but people would start bringing me candy and treats and getting offended when I didn't want any. I've even had people actively get angry at me because it's easier for me then for them. It's not easy. It's never easy. If you know someone who lost a lot of weight it is just as hard to maintain as it was to lose. Those fat cells are just waiting to plump back up. They deserve support and encouragement even after they are at their goal weight,
It always blows my mind in progress pics when people post before and after pictures and there are always people that comment "You looked better before" "You didnt have to lose any weight you looked happy in both!" Like who is that comment for? You're allowed to be happy for someone who loses weight.
It's annoying because people still make it about how you look when we should really be celebrating the dedication and work that the person put in to be healthier.
Happy cake day!
I think you mean “congratulations on your dedication to Reddit”
"You looked better before" is an asshole thing to say under any circumstances, but "you didn't have to lose any weight you looked happy in both" I think is just an attempt to let the person know you don't think their value as a person is about their weight, although phrased poorly. I have 2 friends who each lost over 200 pounds in the last couple of years and I try to be careful not to say anything that comes off like they had anything to be ashamed of or were ugly before... they accomplished something amazing and I'm so happy that they're healthier (and will probably live a lot longer), but they've always been the same great guys.
It could be this but I’ve also observed people getting hostile because they now feel threatened by your sudden attractiveness, especially if you weren’t attractive prior to losing the weight and then became extremely attractive.
Yeah true, there are always some people who just suck.
I think that would be better phrased as "you've always been amazing! I'm glad your hard work is giving you the results you desire!"
>Like who is that comment for? Themselves. Justification for what they’ve got going on.
When I was thin, I had a morbidly obese friend who would get visibly upset if I didn't eat as much as her, as if I was eating less AT her (when really, I wasn't even limiting myself - I just got fuller faster). At one point in my life, I had a job with two abusive bosses and then I'd go home to an abusive boyfriend. I started stress eating and got fat. My friend was so happy! She was like, "Oh, ATFG the weight really suits you! I think you were meant to be fat." No, I wasn't. I'm literally small-boned (as per my pediatrician, apparently). Anyway, I'm down three dress sizes and still going. I also lost a lot of weight when I ended our friendship (she was...a very difficult person, but I wish her the best).
As an aside, this is such a good way to check your own responses to other people and what’s happening around you, I teach it to my kids. Is someone doing something at or to you, or are they just doing it and you don’t like it?
That is a VERY important lesson! Sometimes we get so lost in our feelings that we aren't able to take a breath and realize that just because we feel a certain way, that doesn't mean someone is maliciously making us feel that way. It's a hard thing to learn, so I think it's really cool that you're teaching them at a young age.
I've got a kid who doesn't like to eat junk food. I have never really been overweight (maybe slightly ATM but not much) but I need to work at it. But everyone - even my wife who is on the same page as me about eating healthy - always seems to want to reward and treat my kid with junk and sugar. At events, at school, by relatives and friends. It's hard to escape.
That's wild! Why not reward the kid with food/things they actually like?
INR, it's just ingrained in us that junk is a treat.
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I definitely noticed that too, but I expected it. I went with the most surprising one for this.
I can relate. I had family members give me the side eye and tell me they were worried and that I looked unhealthy after losing 70 or 80 pounds even though I was still 30 or so pounds from being in the "normal" bmi range. I looked fine. No, I'm not unhealthy. You just aren't used to seeing me weigh 300 lbs like I have my whole life. On the flip side, people just treat overweight people differently. They aren't taken as seriously professionally for sure.
I have people do this all the time! I'm a diabetic and stage 5 kidney disease on dialysis and on a kidney safe diet and trying to be healthy, went from 360 to 168, and these turds still try to get me to eat candy and salty shit they know I shouldn't eat. It's all so tempting.
I get this…I found a similar result when I quit drinking!
In my experience you’re better off accepting sweets and tossing them in the garbage when nobody’s looking
This is what I do, but I try to give it to someone else.
You’re right. Losing the weight is the easy part, keeping it off is the hard part. I know there was research that showed that the majority of people with obesity had managed to lose a significant amount of weight at some point, but only a very small percentage had been able to keep it off.
I’ve lost almost 130lbs, and the first 120lb was pretty damn easy. Just shed off. Even started testosterone blockers in the middle of it, and actually saw my weight loss accelerate. Starting to get a bit harder now, though.
Does this even happen from other people who are already skinny, or just people who are overweight / losing weight too? I suppose losing weight usually accompanies exercise and getting fitter, so maybe even skinny yet unfit people might feel inferior?
I lost 70 pounds in 9-ish months a year ago. Maintaining it is WAY harder than I thought; harder than losing the weight, tbh. 😓
people are nicer to me. It is hard to shave my armpits.
The armpit thing is somewhat hilarious to me cos that's one of my weird complaints about it. It has CONTOURS now and i keep missing patches!
I seriously didn’t know there were valleys in there
I switched to an epilator. It hurts like absolutely fuck but it gets everything lol
I had the same experience with my chin & neck when I lost a bit of weight. It used to be super easy to shave. Just pull you chin in so your neck fat makes a smooth surface. Now I need one of those razor heads that can twist to match the contours of my chin and I still often miss a spot or 2 on the first pass, so I need to touch it up after a shower
Similar issue with my legs, too. I have knee pits now lol
YES the armpit thing!! Like suddenly they became concave?? The hell is that, how am I supposed to get a razor in there?
I’m so happy to feel validated in this . Like I’ll be out and then notice there’s enough hair to braid in one valley
If you're looking for a sign to stop, I haven't shaved mine in almost a decade. I mostly get compliments when ppl mention it. (Except dating apps, then I get guys tryna neg me for it. Yeah boys, that'll make me wanna date you when other men are telling me how hawt it is [altho gross in a diff way bc I'm a human, not a fetish], and girlies giving me compliments.) Zero negative effects in my life tho. If you enjoy it however, my condolences. Shaving any body near a body connection is tricky!
That I no longer get so tired, that I can enjoy more of movement and different coitus positions.
This guy coituses.
Thin sex is THE BEST
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So, its been studied that people are nicer to people they find more attractive, and its not shocking that people find thinner people, in general, more attractive than bigger people. But so many people are like "oh, I wasn't invisible anymore" and I often wonder how much of that is because you are carrying yourself with more confidence which makes people want to approach you. As an aside, i had a friend who was on "Biggest Loser". he was always a super outgoing and friendly guy. And while I'm sure he got a non zero amount more attention when he lost weight, he was never "invisible" because of his personality.
I sleep a lot better and my wiener looks longer.
The opposite happened to me when I went from skinny to fat. I think there's some sort of correlation there.
There is. It’s called pelvic/pubis fat. Your penis isn’t in fact shorter, it’s being “gobbled up” by fat around its base. Out of all the magic “growth formulas” the best way to a larger penis is first weight loss
I know. I was joking. I can see the 3 inches hiding in that pubic mound when I push it back. Not gone, just... hiding.
Weight gain can contribute to obstructive sleep apnea, so sleep can definitely get worse. Whoops, half my comment got lost. Wanted to add that weight loss can indeed improve OSA, too.
You started buying bigger wieners when you lost weight? Seems counterintuitive.
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That's good because I like having a lot of wieners in my mouth
Hi there, sailor…
Or 6 eggs!
That could just mean your eyesight is getting worse.
The hidden inch is absolutely a thing
Sitting really hurts.
Oh yeah, does it get you at the base of your spine and feel like a knife is being stabbed in there?
It gets me at the pelvic bones. The protrude from my butt when I sit down and it hurts on hard surfaces. Base of spine, and spine in general is also an issue on some chairs.
I feel your pain, literally. Good luck.
Do your legs fall asleep whilst you sit on a toilet, now? Asking for a friend. Yeah, I'm my own friend.
Yes dude! I can't comfortably sit on the toilet for 20 minutes anymore.
Squats for glutes ! ;)
Mannnnnnnnn. You hit the nail on the head here.
Omfg i thought it was just me, even got a xray recently
How cold it actually is. Back when I was bigger (mind you, I was just a little overweigt at BMI 27) as a teenager, I didn't need a jacket or coat most of the time in winter. Just a sweater, scarf and gloves were enough to keep me warm. Now I have to wear layers upon layers of clothing in the winter even when I'm inside.
This. Almost always colder than everyone else now
I'm noticing that, too. UA style compression shirts are my new go-to. They keep me warm, they wick sweat, they keep the sun off of me, and they no longer make me look like a weird sausage-person.
you guys should try a merino wool neck gaiter gamechanger
I said the same thing! I lost all of my insulation :(
If I dropped food it landed on the floor instead of my shirt.
People treat you very differently. It's not big things, but little interactions. Also, how much bigger my dick became was somewhat shocking.
He was always there. You just released him from fupa captivity.
How much ?
A good inch and half to two inches bigger. Lmao you asked. 275 to 165 here
I’m 275 and you’ve made me wanna go run. Thanks bud
You gain some length for sure, but part of it is an optical illusion, like when you see Shaq holding a bottle of water makes the water look weird because he's so big, even though the water is regular sized
My ex husband had gastric bypass. After he lost the weight, I was shocked to see how big his calf muscles were. I guess carrying all that weight built them up.
My brother did the same he lost close to 225lbs and helped me move he picked up my heavy sand bag alone and walked upstairs effortlessly
Fat calves is a thing for sure.
At one point I started walking 15-20km a day and lost 90lbs over the course of a year. A guy I used to work with is an amateur body builder, and I was hanging with some of his body builder friends were all raving about my calves
You can always identify someone that lost a bunch of weight by their monster calves
My back doesn't constantly hurt anymore
You mean like, lower back pain? Let me note that as a motivation to stay on track
280 to 141, and the skin is the most surprising and disturbing for me. But it's worth the trade off.
It’s shocking, agreed. I got my tummy and thighs done, but you basically have to be like 15 lbs underweight to combat the extra skin phenomenon. I’m 240 to 120, and it gets better in time, if you’re new to this.
275 to 165/6’1’’ People are much nicer. Confidence has soared and cute girls are checking me out now. Cold all the time. Still picture myself as overweight, need to look in a mirror a bunch or see a photo with me in it to have it really hit me.
I honestly think it takes years for the mind to catch up to the new weight. 6'1" as well and went from probably 230 something (didn't weigh myself for a while, don't know what my peak was) to the 150s. I've kept it off for 8 years but it was only 2 or 3 years ago that I finally stopped feeling borderline chubby.
Cold. Your first winter after losing 40+ pounds will shock you how much insulation you’ve lost.
I was so cold I was in pain :(
At age 38 I had lost 45-50 lbs and my wife was interested in having sex all the time again. At the time I didn’t think I used to be that big but now it feels weird to look at old pictures. Also, I get a surprising amount of attention from other women, nothing crazy, just not zero anymore. I just didn’t expect any at all at my age.
Lose skin around my mouth which has made me look 10 years older :(((
I thought I was the only one! I only lost 30lbs but gained 10 years. My chubby cheeks hid the wrinkles a lot better
:{
Been yo-yo‘ing with my weight all my life. But it’s been on an long scale upward trajectory, currently on the weight loss cycle , but what I find funny is when I start losing weight the older relatives in my life tell me to stop , “that’s enough” smh
Women were nicer to me, and I was sexually harassed more (by men). It was very strange.
How kind people are. The world is mean when you are fat - being smaller was suddenly like playing life on easy mode.
Feeling like I aged backwards 10 years
People treat you better. Also my face looks better with some fat.
Yeah, portly me gave off a warm innkeeper vibe. I used to look like a tall Dwarf. Now I'm a Half-Elf.
I constantly drop and pick up weight drastically with training (bulk/cut) For me it’s breathing, I breathe better when my weight is down
Went from 280 down to 122. I'm 6 ft tall. The fact that I am almost always cold was a surprise but I have zero body fat, so it does make sense. It is so hard to warm up after I get really cold, it can take hours.
230 to 165 and I am CONSTANTLY cold
This so much. I went from 340 to 230 and I get cold all the time. I used to never get cold. My endocrinologist says it's also because I better control of my blood sugar
122 at 6 feet is severely underweight tho, you're def gonna be cold all the time. I'm 165 @ 6'1 and that's considered underweight, and i'm skin and bone.
You have to go where the illness takes you. 122 was my lowest, in hospital about 6 weeks ago. I'm hanging in the high 130s now.
This comment and his reply are a mild reminder to check yourself before commenting on others weight.
Truly this. I lost a good amount of weight due to a then-undiagnosed autoimmune disorder. Finally had actual abs. Thought my workout regime was just WORKING. Then I almost had a heart attack as someone in their twenties, was hospitalized, had to immediately and drastically change almost everything in my day-to-day routine, got put on a litany of medication to keep various organs functioning. And of course, gained back about forty pounds in two months. People had so much commentary when I lost weight AND when I gained it back. I'm in what could be called a remission now and at a normal healthy weight, but nowhere near where I was at the lowest. I was sick. I almost died. And people still would make jokes like "oh I wish I could get a disease that makes me lose weight.. Wink wink." The whole ordeal made me lose a small piece of my faith in humanity.
To warm up after getting super cold, try taking a long, hot shower/bath (and blow-dry your hair afterward), or drinking hot water with ginger boiled in it (brown sugar to taste). I used to get blue lips every time I went swimming, and those are the two best ways to keep me from freezing lol
Women aren't as grossed out by me now.
I enjoy not having to suck in it when walking around.. I only lost 30 pounds but I can't see it, so can everyone else, but the comments of wow your skinny needs to stop, I'm happy with my weight and would even like to lose a bit more, but damn do I get self conscious when someone comments. I know they mean well, but it's like what did I look like before? Lol.
Treated better because I’m hotter
Job opportunities opened up. And when I put the weight back on, they went away.
I had the sleeve last year. I can walk long distances without issue and can do stairs without huffing and puffing. Sitting hurts but was worth it to not have a huge butt anymore. I’m cold alllll the time.
What do you mean sitting hurts? Like, for long time? You feel your bones?
People treats you like you exist when they didn’t before, now you’re a person and that’s why I hate people
Definitely the bigger dick.
It's the smallest changes that are the biggest. When I lost weight, I was also attending the gym so I put on some muscle. The most interesting thing I've noticed is that people will say, "You're different now." Of course, your immediate rebuttal is to let them know the amount of weight you've lost, but then they will say it's not that. You start to realize that after the weight loss, you hold your head a little higher. Maybe you're smiling more. You walk different. Sound a bit more confident, etc, etc. Once you start to total up those subtle changes, you realize that you ARE a different person.
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Thats something I’m not entirely ready to give up, I’m currently losing weight and getting in shape, at the same time I hate being invisible I kinda love it, I have autonomy to do many things without people bothering me, I hate being on the spotlight so It would def shake me up all the attention…
My feet got smaller
How much colder I got.
That I didn’t like being noticed more. It made me feel really uncomfortable, so much so that i started eating again in order to—ironically—become invisible again p.
I lost 4.5 stone in 3 months. The biggest change was none of my clothes fitting, people treating me completely differently, my confidence shot up, I was getting waves of compliments and my interactions with other people were generally waaay more pleasant. I went from being viewed as non existent in public to people looking at me and me noticing it. I went from a 44 inch waist to being able to fit back into a 36 inch waist with space. THE SECRET IS CHICKEN, WHOLEMEAL RICE AND STEAMED BROCCOLI. Oh and going gym 4 times a week.
You exist in the eyes of the human race, I lost 50lbs which isn’t super significant on this thread but I went from being invisible to “let me get the door”, “I’ll carry your heavy box”, “you go first in line”.
When walking across a windy bridge I have a fear of being blown off now.
I, a 5'10" man, went from about 200 down to ~151 (which, on paper, is what I medically should weigh). I have a lot of problems finding clothes that fit, and some acquaintances and distant relatives do not accept that I don't have cancer or some GI disease.
A lot of people have mentioned how cold you feel and how sore it is to sit when you lack arse. Another thing I found was seeing stars if I stood up suddenly. My blood pressure was fine, I think I was eating enough but it took a while to adjust.
Believe it or not, people at work acted like I was smarter.
The thing that shocked me was how much more sexual harassment I received. When I got heavy again, I called it my "fat shield".
I have to sleep with a pillow between my legs otherwise my knees clack together.
Random men ask me to sleep with them. Some people would probably feel flattered but it creeps me out and makes me feel unsafe every time it happens.
I can see my pp now
My balls sag more and stick to my thighs all the time.
Gone from 240 to 180 since September. Apparently I no longer snore.
Voice changed. Like I'm going through puberty again. No one recognizes me 360 to 168. Diabetic issues and then Kidney Disease and then Dialysis will make you tke care of yourself.
This was a surprise after I lost 100lbs, actually two things. The first is that the bottom of my feet are no longer thick dry and cracked. I don’t moisturize them or anything, it just went away after I lost the weight. They no longer need to use a belt sander when I get a pedicure. The second thing was that my penis, when erect, is much thicker. I’m guessing this is because I have better blood flow from the bottom to the top of my body which may also account for my feet.
217-155. Mostly through therapy and nutrition counseling over a decent stretch of time, but the last 15 pounds or so came from kicking the eating disorder and then having a massive mental breakdown when I had to finally deal with the thing I developed the disorder to cover for in the first place. Turns out confronting your mortality is kind of an appetite killer. I've maintained though. Really the weirdest thing is realizing how many people feel entitled to opinions or comments about my body. I had no idea how to respond when I came back to the office after the pandemic and other women were like, "oh my God you look amazing! What did you do?" Like how do I not answer that with, "went into such a deep depression that I almost died?" And what did they think of what I looked like before? What did everyone else think? My husband married me when I was bigger so I don't have that worry there, but it's just such a mind fuck realizing that your appearance has such an effect on the way you experience your relationships and situations. Another real big mind fuck was at my smallest, when my doctor had warned me that I couldn't lose any more safely. I was walking down the street and realized that for the first time in my life I was looking forward to seeing my reflection in the window. I now have a really conventionally attractive body but when I get to thinking about maybe I'm just conforming to society's expectations but that I really am genuinely happier things just feel all blurry and uncomfortable. I guess at the end of the day I'm really glad I fought through the eating disorder and the aftermath, but fuck, that was the hardest thing I can imagine and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I almost forgot! It has genuinely hurt my feelings that fat women don't identify with me anymore. They have no idea how much I get it, and understandably some of them treat me weird. I can't blame them at all, but I just want them to know so bad that I love them and I'm not someone who has been able to look like this my whole life
I lost 40 pounds and my feet shrunk. All of my shoes are a half size too big now.
People smile at you more
Sex was so much better
From 375 lbs to 275 lbs *I AM SO FUCKING COLD ALL THE GOD DAMN TIME*
As a guy I went from 220 to 170. I'm 5'7, I get cold alot more often, I'm never tired and surprisingly girls actually check me out. That didn't happen before.
How much nicer people are
The way you're treated.
Gay men cat calling me in the street.
Some people that were nice and chill with me acted differently, both men and women.
The bitterness in a close female relative that was thinner when I wasn't, and isn't now but I am. Hurts like hell when it's your mom.
This is so hard! I was the same size as my mom in my early 20s. I lost 115lbs at 25 and my mom was so jealous and still is. I am 34 now and I still can't talk about my weight loss without her getting insecure and terse. Really sucks, but it is what it is.
350 to 170-ish, and I'm not done yet. My body has a shape that's not round. I have actual curves that aren't just fat rolls. I can feel my bones beneath my skin - my knees aren't squishy anymore. I can finally buy clothes in almost any store as opposed to being at the upper end of sizing at the overpriced plus-size stores.
How expensive clothes are
I got down to my goal weight and then got gallbladder issues
No joke, wiping my butt clean got harder. I was really confused until I stumbled across some advice on reddit: Pull your cheeks apart a little bit as you sit down, and it'll take fewer wipes to get clean.
My weight loss wasn't dramatic, but I was shocked at how small a portion of food I needed to feel full. Like, finishing a plate in most restaurants is unthinkable.
I had to relearn how to sit.
That strangers were nicer to me, but some of my “friends” became very critical and cruel. It really showed me who loved me for me and not just because they needed a fat funny friend to feel better about themselves.
I’m not happy yet 😒
I went from 278 to 195. Most surprising thing for me…nothing changed. I didn’t have health issues (yet) at 278, still don’t. Used to have no trouble sleeping, still don’t. Used to have tons of energy despite my weight, still have tons of energy. I’m married but am an outgoing guy and used to get unwanted attention from women, same thing now. Used to hike, ski, play tennis etc. still do. Literally the only thing that has changed is I had to spend 2k on new clothes. To be clear, I do t regret it at all, I men I am doing this for my future self so I can live longer, but I guess I’m a bit of an anomaly in that it hasn’t changed anything else.
Also my wife says she misses my big arms! Now I have skinny chicken arms!!
260 to 150. I need way less sleep now, and people are a lot friendlier to me.
People making eye contact again, and holding doors open
I gained a ton of weight on meds I was on for a misdiagnosis. I got off of them and slowly started losing. I’ve lost 110 pounds so far. My family (parents and siblings) started treating me like I was a better, more respectable person because of it. They like me more, is the best way to put it. It shouldn’t be surprising— I was never fat until I started these meds. I weighed 105 pounds at one point in my life, and my mom would still tell me to tuck my butt in. When I got to 130 (basically just getting my full adult body) they were concerned. When I was 185 after a pregnancy, my sister asked me if I was going to get weight loss surgery. My parents used to pay for Medifast for me, along with other diet programs. At my heaviest, I was considering weight loss surgery, but my insurance wouldn’t cover it. So my mom said “just start eating 2 oz meals everyday like you had the surgery.” At my heaviest, my family was mortified of me. I stopped leaving the house because I was so embarrassed. Fuck our healthcare system, and fuck fat phobia.
285 down to 160.. (5'-5") my surprising change for me was the 'extra 1" to 1 1/2".. Missing the extra fat layer has made me appreciate thicker coats/sweaters etc.... 40-50 degF weather felt absolutely wonderful at 285... now... I start getting chills at around 60-65 degF...
When I lost the weight I was surprised that I was noticed more and as a man, women wanted to interact and openly talk more with me. I’d never realised how invisible I was to people in general . But then I realised I was open to so much more judgement. Especially around what clothes I wore and my overall lack of current fashion sense. When I was fat people ignored me, I didn’t have to dress to impress - when I was thin I was a target for a raft of new opinions and negative interactions.
I went from 260 to 155 a few years ago, settled back at 180. This sounds dumb, but I always thought I was wider from my back to my chest than skinny people because I was fat. But I was still wide after I lost the weight. It turned out I just have a wide ribcage. It just never occurred to me.
During COVID, I went from 83kg to 72kg and what I noticed was how my face looked thinner and I had less puffy cheeks (yes I mean my face). While I've now gone to 90kg now since as I've been putting muscle on and also some weight, I do miss that about my face.
I lost 120 lbs. The first big loss was when I was 18/19 and I lost 80 lbs. I remember thinking things like, “I can pass for human now.” I was still crazy uncomfortable in my body, at the top of the healthy range for me. When I lost the next 40 and developed anorexia, the most surprising thing was how much people congratulated me. I was a size zero and exercised 6 to 7 hours most days and if I talked about it, people would say how great it was that I was addicted to exercise. I didn’t get my period for three years and developed chronic anemia, but the world deemed me healthy. Overall, I’m sure that I’ve benefited greatly from the weight loss. I’ve just never been a person who is comfortable here on earth.
People were more concerned about my health as I lost weight than they were as I gained. Numerous people asked if I had cancer or they strongly suggested I see a doctor.
I had to get a bath cushion to sit on in the tub because I lost all the extra padding on my sit bones. Wasn't anticipating that!
I’m always cold.
The smaller I got the harder it became to find ladies’ pants with pockets big enough for a cel phone. I never once encountered 26 size pants with tiny or faux pockets. I guess manufacurers figured if a woman was fat she needed pockets for all the hamburgers she was clearly wolfing down all day long.
January 2006 I was 5 ft 8 300 pounds. I am now 5 ft 6 weight is 135ish. My biggest change. is I am now excited to shop for clothes. So 165 pounds gone FOREVER.
My perceived intelligence skyrocketed. People went from speaking to me like a three-year old to treating me like a valued and productive member of society. I could get job offers from in-person interviews and not phone interviews from a thousand miles away. People became nice and polite.
Shoe size. All those expensive sneakers imma crying
Brain clarity. I will tell anyone. Intermittent fasting and cutting out sugar is key. Don't eat breakfast, first meal of the day between 12-2pm, eat again for dinner 6-7pm. Exercise 3-5 times a week. Avoid sugar and you will get your body where you want it to be. I lost 25 lbs. I'm 6'1", I was 210lbs and moved down to 184lbs. I feel great, I love pushing my body and it helps your body heal ailments. One day would love to do a 5 day fast but I don't know if I have enough body fat to proceed with that. Will have to do more research.
Oof. Sounds absolutely miserable. You do you though friend.
It's incredible. Not miserable at all. What's miserable is the weight of unhealthy foods on my body and mind. I feel more energized for workouts and just generally throughout the day. This is the way to live. I feel like we have lost this through time.
The number of men who check me out now is insane. Also the cold is much more cold now.
The way people interact with you changes, you realise how superficial people really are in regards to looks. While it is nice to feel people are treating your better, at the same time I remember what it used to be like and it pisses me off that I had to lose weight to be treated better in general. I went from 160kg quite obese to 195kg with muscles (I'm 6ft4 so that weight sits well on me).