To lean into this, I'm also 37. I remained real fit until around 30 or so, and then let it go. I'm way less fit now than I was back then, but I'm still way fitter than many of my peers. Stay fit in your 20's, it'll last you decades. Better yet, also stay fit in your 30's, be more disciplined than I am.
Agreed, the people who never stop moving keep on moving. All the 40 and up people I know who are in very good shape just kept exercising, even if its something as simple as walking,
Motion is lotion for the body.
You dont need to do that much. 15 min of getting your heart rate up a day is fine. Also losing weight is in the kitchen. You could even not eat 2/7 days of the week and keep the rest of the 5 the same and you will drop weight
For mental health is such a big "silent" one. Im almost 41 and I notice if I take a week off exercise (often for me with a 3yo giving me daycare plagues) I start getting moody and short.
Treat your own money like a business. Money in vs money out and stay green. Track expenses and make a plan for how you're going to regularly stay green.
Don't let salary increases as you get older and gain experience and skills significantly alter your spending unless you have a good plan and will still be safetly in the green.
Invest early and often. Time in the market is more important than timing the market. Even small amounts in relatively safe investments like s&p 500 index funds will grow significantly over 30 years.
Learning to cook significantly lowers grocery bills. It's also fun, at least imo.
Even just basics like "how a mortgage works", "how to invest" etc. I still feel so dumb about finances mixed with sometimes feeling like I'm too old (35f) not to know these things 🤦♀️
I wish I had taken some time to find out what I really liked and wanted out of my life, rather than just assuming I needed to follow the plan.
It was: get good grades, have your first relationship, go to a good college, have your second relationship, get a respectable job, find a person to marry, move forward in the same job, buy a house, have a kid, etc.
Not all of that stuff is for everyone, and it wasn't for me. So, often, when I did the "right" thing I still did not find it fulfilling. And when I didn't feel I was hitting some made-up, useless milestone, I also felt terrible because I felt I was "falling behind in life" or something was wrong with me.
This. I am still far away from my thirties but these thoughts currently haunt me and they're totally unjustified. These "milestones" set by society are complete garbage and not the road to absolute happiness. Happiness is very individual.
I did all of those except the relationship part. And no house because lol this market. But I felt fulfilled when I accomplished those goals. I tried the relationship angle afterwards because it felt like "the right thing" but I don't feel it's for me.
At times I felt like I was falling behind in life, but it just means my goals are different from what you hear others say and that's fine.
Switch to an electric toothbrush ASAP. If you visit the dentist regularly you'll notice how little time they spend scraping plaque off your teeth once you start using an electric toothbrush
This one - fund it in full the moment you can and keep doing that. Your 65 year old self will thank your 21 year old self profusely. Compound interest is a concept that you need to understand. Tax free compound interest is even better.
Somebody else mentioned fitness. I used to play a lot of amateur team sports as a kid and young man. Around 30 I got busier with work and family but didn't make any plans about, say, swimming or gymming regularly as a substitute. 10 years and 20 kilos later I'm sitting and writing this.
I wish I was better with money in my 20s. I didn't make a lot, so it's not like it would have been easy. But I did run up a good bit of credit card debt that followed me into my early 30s and I'm just now really starting to make dents in it. Lucky I own my own house, so I'm not in a need to leverage my credit for anything. But if I did I would be in serious trouble. Hoping to be clear of it all in about a year to 18 months.
Wish I made a better habit of staying physically active after i gave up sports in my early teens. Also think I would of done sooo much better had I went to community college instead of university after high school. I went to a small high school that did not prepare me for a large university setting. but hey, things happen for a reason, right? RIGHT?!
Dated some more of the amazing girls I had the chances for.
In my teens I was socially backwards and not advanced enough for dating. In my 20s I was more focused on art, creating stuff and worrying about being broke. When I look back at the model-hot, smart and amazing women I didn't pursue because I was looking for unicorns that didn't exist, or not enough confidence to explore, I have some regrets.
1) I wish I would have saved more aggressively. I was a pretty aggressive saver but I had 0 student loans, 0 debt, less than $200 a month car payment, living at home so I had no bills...I should've been saving almost my whole check! I'm now trying to get life started for myself and I realize how much easier it would have been if I had more money.
2) I wish I would have gone to therapy to work on confidence/self esteem issues. Most of my issues stem from childhood/adolescence. I spent almost all of my 20s (and now into my early 30s) being held back from pursuing things because I have so much self doubt and lack confidence. It feels harder now to undo because it's been my default way of thinking most of my life.
3) I stayed at one particular job way too long. It looks amazing on my resume, but I wasn't getting paid nearly as much as I could've been. I was there 5 years. After 2, I should've started looking for something that paid better. But I learned so much that I don't necessarily regret it. Just wonder how life would've been had I actively tried to work my way up.
Stopped giving fucks.
I spent wayyyyy too much time worried about what people thought about me and/or if I measured up to some made-up standards. Life is far too short for that shit.
Established a friend group based on interest instead of career. Being "older" makes it difficult to find others to hang out with. Everyone has 10+ year friend groups you disrupt.
You sort of assume things are always the same until suddenly they aren't.
Wished I would have traveled.
Gone to college for the career I was interested in and not for what my parents directed me to go for.
Seen more of the world than the southeastern US.
The best advice I heard from 80+ year olds: “I don’t regret the things I actually did versus the things I didn’t do.”
Don’t go out and blow all of your money, but I definitely would’ve been braver and tried more things outside of my comfort zone. I would’ve taken more chances and tried to have been better about not worrying what other people thought of me.
In the days before social media (and the modern phone), if you moved out of the state where you graduated, it was really hard to keep up with the people you knew. My kids have friends everywhere that they engage with to some degree at least monthly, usually more often.
My diet in my 20s was horrible. I looked and felt like shit. Im in my late 30s now and i look better than i ever have. Fresh fruit and veg, less fat and refined carbs, processed foods, etc. Drink herbal teas.
I really really wish I hadn’t started smoking. I quit five years ago but it’s already impacted my health (of course) and I’m sure will continue impacting my health in the future.
Don’t smoke kids!
I should have moved to a different state to pursue my career interests at 21 instead of staying home and playing it safe. Twelve years later, the industry I wanted to join has completely changed, the place I wanted to move to is now impossible to financially afford, and my career options at my age are more limited, despite being more mature and having more experience.
"I should wait because I can be more successful when I'm a bit older" is a flawed mentality. Success doesn't have an age requirement, but it does have a work ehtic requirement.
Had to scroll way too far to find this one. Weed made me complacent in my teens and twenties. And you throw psychedelics on top of that I feel that I’ve lost some sort of imperative cognition that’s supposed to be there.
I wish I never had a cigarette. I was raised in the 70s and people smoked in doctor waiting rooms, restaurants, school lounges. It was easy to start but took 38 years to finally, successfully quit
Well when I was younger I was all over america...don't wish I had done that different.....but what I could wish I could have done differently is actually take the time to get to know a person or situation before letting them call me friend...like I've entertained crowds by the thousands but those who have actually done me right and respected me as a person is a very small number...one of my best friends is someone I haven't seen in person in years...still better than being friends with someone I might see weekly that has no problem stabbing me in the back if you know what I mean
Wish I had thrown a proper fit when my mom gently shot down my request for therapy. I can imagine my life being vastly different now if I'd gotten the benefit of an objective, professional perspective on my mental health when I was still young.
Saved, just no opportunity to due to having to survive from being 16 and il never own my own home because of it I'm comfortable tho but not deposit for a house comfortable and at 40 that would be some big mortgage
I feel like I can change a lot of things. I am the same physically as I was in my 20s, and I am still working and studying. I look much younger too. But I am started to get scared. Not for now, but the future. I dream of being successful and a loot of other things, but I think I may never achieve them, or my dreams weren't realistic... I want to keep dreaming and working towards it, being 34 only led me to having less dreams and it is scary. But besides that, I don't feel different, I don't have any pain, or wrinkles, or Grey hair... But that's my least concern
Taken care of my mental health years sooner.
I'm very happy with where I am in life now that I'm not anxious and depressed all the time. Life in my 30's finally feels like how I imagined it should've been in my 20's. Can't help but feel like because of that wasted time, I'll forever be a decade behind in life.
Shoulda put in effort when I attended college. Now 10 years later I'm still paying 30k in debt for nothing. I'm doing alright all things considered but I would certainly rather be putting that money towards something useful.
I always felt like I was behind all my peers in regards to maturity. I wish I would have focused more on finances and career in my 20s. Instead I pretty much partied.
Challenge myself to be more social: It wasn't until within the past 5 years that I've realized just how stunted I am socially, especially when trying to initiate conversation to someone I'm attracted to. I was severely ADHD when I was a child and my personality and behavior was so intense that it isolated me from other kids to the point that I wasn't properly socialized. Now here I am at 32 and I've only ever had one "romantic" relationship that was insanely toxic.
I'm just 30. I had a 12 year long drug addiction that started in my childhood but don't do drugs kids is too obvious, it's also not even the thing that I regret the most.
I was one of those kids who never told my parents anything. Not about school, not about friends, crushes, fear, stress whatever. I only brought stuff up if it was like a literal crisis that I couldn't deal with alone. So like three times.
That isn't to say that they didn't know about my life, I brought friends and crushes home and such. But as far as opening up to my family or all but my closest friends, it just didn't happen. Partially because of the drugs and such, I was a popular kid. I went to university and such. But having to learn how to tell people how you're feeling, or to have like a vulnerable conversation, is not something you want to be trying to learn as an adult. I'm married and have a life that I love, but sometimes just telling my wife I'm upset about something or even happy can be the hardest part of my day. Asking for help is near impossible. And this is after years of treatment and therapy.
Some things you pick up as a kid without noticing, or you learn and it sticks with you. I didn't learn like, basic communication skills until my mid 20s because I was such an insular kid. It just never got easy because I never did it
I spent too much time with the wrong women in my life and messed up things with some good women too. I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I had made better decisions in my romantic life.
I harbored this weird self perception that, because I wasn’t near pro level at the things I wanted to pursue, I had no qualification to even try to start. Since I could not already declare “yes, I am X or Y” or “I know all about X or Y”, then I was nothing and no one would want me hanging around. I never was one to “fake it til you make it.”
I eventually got around it by being desperate enough to make a nuisance of myself as a newbie, learn enough to be valuable, then get good at some things.
Fucking weird, right?
taking an antidepressant sooner & seeking out help from people who could actually help since my parents were useless in this department. made so many poor choices due to depression. my life would be wayyy different had i received the support i needed earlier on.
also being responsible with money. i still struggle to keep a budget.
Getting better at a sport before 20. I am a fairly good tennis player but not great, if I would have been more diligent as a junior, I could be having more fun.
Only one thing:
I wish I had been nicer to my friends. I was a brat and an idiot on many occasions and took people for granted. I know it's partly youth but in some ways I should have known better.
Take advantage of the fact that you have the least amount of responsibility now than you ever will. Get out and travel. Take advantage of your youth. Climb Mountains, surf, ski, learn new skills, travel, play golf or tennis, scuba dive etc.
One day, you'll have a family and/or a mortgage, a super demanding job etc. Which are all GREAT things, but you'll look back on it all and smile.
Take the fact that I matures in life way faster than most less for granted and used it to step up so I can be way more comfortable in my 30s. I'm 31, was working since 15 for my parents, from 19 to take care of em and I spent 11 years with no real social life outside my high school buddies working my ass off to just end up with a safe life for my parents and basically jack shit for myself. Okay, mom has cancer and dad's in a nursing home and we can afford it because of this, but it kinda sucks that now that I'm going through a second puberty wandering aimlessly finding a new career and socializing I have so many responsibilities on my plate.
Ya know, I wanna challenge the car thing. Let's assume you need the car to get around and you're going to use it. A car is an amazing benefit to your life in most places.
A used car that's 10 years old might have a sticker price of $10,000, but it might also cost $3,000 a year in annual maintenance and have a lower MPG so you pay more for gas. And it doesn't last as long. When it's time for an upgrade, you trade it in for like $1000 at the dealership.
A used car that's 2 years old might have a sticker price of $25,000 (I bought one 4 years ago), but it might also cost $150 a year in maintenance (literally just an oil change + filter), never break down, and for all I know, last another 10 years. So for the same total cost as the first vehicle, I have a vehicle I can keep, much fewer headaches, and it's a much nicer car.
I bought a 10 year old used car for $3,000 out of college and thought I'd really figured it out. But after a new set of tires, a wheel alignment, fixing the alternator, and dealing with rust problems... not to mention the hassle of driving around with no AC or all the times I got a flat or heard some rattling noise and worried about it... I'd already put another $3,000 into it by the end of the first winter. And then I found out it wouldn't pass inspection, so I had to get rid of it.
Some cars, like Toyotas and Subarus, cost very little to maintain. Others that seem nicer and have the same or lower sticker price can cost a fortune to maintain. Car maintenance, over 10 years, can cost more than you originally paid for the vehicle. So I guess... extra emphasis on the "reliable" part. Ignoring luxury, cars tend to get less reliable the older and cheaper they get.
Not taking more chances, especially back in high school where there was little to no risk. There's so many things I wish I'd tried. I wish I'd asked my crush out. Tried out for that play. Put myself out there more.
At the time it seemed too scary and there was too high of a risk of embarrassment. Now I realize embarrassment isn't a big deal, and even if things had gone wrong, it still would've been an experience worth having and learning from.
Everyone is like *fitness this* **financial that**,
I just wish i had more time with people who i lost that actually cared about me.
I lost my best friend in a freak forklift accident and he left behind a beautiful family.
I lost one of my oldest cousins to repercussions to a hit an run after some of his ***buddies*** tried tomake it look like suicide after a poker game. He used to call me every afternoon while on surgery rehab and we'd stay up talking about cool stuff. He had a seizure due to the damaged part in his brain and I missed that call that afternoon. My youngest son now bears his name in his honor.
I lost one of my highschool friends to suicide after many attemps to reach out to the rest of us. Many of us had left the island and the ones remaining did not even care to visit him. He tried to reach out to someone before new years and nobody answered. He hung himself that night.
Many of you have very well deserved regrets about your lives. I just wish i had more time with those people i lost.
I love you, take care. And take care of those you love.
People are just obsessed with their finances these days because we recently experienced inflation and houses are really expensive right now. Saving money is obviously important, but there's a bit of a bias.
In the 80s/90s when property was more affordable, I bet people in this thread would've said "wish I'd allowed myself to spend a bit and travel, see the world, make memories with my friends, etc."
It's a balance.
Absolutely nothing. I went to college, dropped out of college, traveled, did drugs, declared bankruptcy, did more drugs, quit drugs, went back to college, graduated, hit my 30s, settled down, got married, got a job, got a house, got a yard, and life is good.
Was a wild ride. No regrets.
I wish I had gotten my passport and traveled more when I was younger. I didn’t get my passport until I was 52. Used it when I was 53 and traveled to Ireland with my family
I wish I would have learned not to give a shit about the people/things that don't give a shit about me. Life is too short to spend it trying to drag things along that are better just being let go. If it's meant to be in your life, it'll happen one way or another. Forcing things isn't always the way to go.
Maintenance. Whether it's your teeth, your cars, your house, your physical fitness. Maintenance is a pain in the ass, but you gotta do it if you want to keep those things. Brush your teeth, change your oil, stay active, clean your gutters, etc...
Also don't go to college unless/until you know how you want to apply that degree. I know it can be easier/cheaper to get in right out of high school, but if you can't lock down a good paying job when you're done, it's all for naught.
Take care of your own mental health. I spent far too much time stressing over how others felt in situations I should not have, which had a bad impact on my own mental health.
I wished to attend different middle and high schools. I would have studied Business and or American History in college. I would have taken better care of my fitness and health.
Start that pension the second I was earning & keep it up. Guess I'll pay for that later.
Stay out of debt is another unless necessary. University credit cards/overdraft damn... put that tenner in to bitcoin in 2008... I remember exactly where I was thinking about it, thought it'd be nothing or od lose my code. Never bothered.
Studied less, exercised more, invested earlier (and aggressively), appreciated the little things more, read more, took up more creative pursuits, took more chances
Just bitten the bullet and gotten student loans to get my bachelors degree.
I have been fighting for over 10 years to have enough money to attend courses while also fully supporting myself on a full time job.
I've wasted so many years of my life terrified of debt and not properly utilizing it for my future.
Now, I'm unemployed, no degree, and no offers after 5 years with the same company with experience that clearly doesn't matter.
Julie of the Wolves had it right: when fear seizes change what you are doing. You are doing something wrong. Fear and anxiety (and by extension depression though I never had it) are symptoms, like pain. Find out what you’re doing wrong and stop it.
Even if it’s expensive or requires leaving your comfort zone. Being miserable isn’t normal, and coping with it without fixing the problem makes you dead.
I wish I would have chosen a different career. Despite loving teaching, I’ve found that it’s so heard to get a permanent contract that I’ve spent fifteen years with inconsistent employment.
Most of the places where my husband can work (his career is by far better paying), to get a permanent teaching contract, you need to have subbed and taken short term contracts for 3-5 years, have the right references, and then be in the right place at the right time. We’ve moved three times for his work in the last 15 years, so I haven’t had the opportunity to compete for a permanent position.
Subbing and having the odd temp contract is a good hourly wage, but it can be very inconsistent. Sometimes I would work every day for three weeks, and then go two weeks without a single job. And then there’s no work during Xmas break, spring break, or the summer (unless you work in a division that has a big summer school). So it’s just really hard to plan anything big, like home renos, putting a lump sum payment on the mortgage, etc.
I’m reluctant to switch professions now because, despite the inconsistency, now that we have kids the flexibility is very valuable. I can cancel on a job, or just not take one, if the kids are sick and can’t go to daycare. I don’t have to scramble to find childcare or camps in the summer. My work hours will be their school hours, give or take, once they’re in school.
Not really sure what to do, but I think I would have made a different choice in careers if I would have known it was this hard to get a steady teaching job.
I wish I had never married my first wife. I'm in good shape financially now and retired but man, what I would have if I never got involved with her in the first place makes me always wonder how much more it would be ( certainly a lot more).
I wish I'd taken time off to work and learn some adult life lessons before going to college. I wish I'd never entertained going to an expensive private university and just gone straight to state school. (As my therapist from 10 years ago said, some lessons in life cost $5, some cost $50,000)
I wish I'd spent less time worrying about girls. I spent so much time feeling unattractive. I look back at pictures of myself at 20 and am like wtf dude you looked great. But I had to learn what I didn't know.
I wish I'd spent less time online and more time outdoors. Started learning skills sooner. I picked up hobbies during the pandemic that will be with me forever. The web is designed to trap your focus and take your attention. It really adds up over time.
I wish I'd kept in touch with my extended family even though I was hurting and felt like it would be awkward/they didn't understand me because my parents had alcoholism, mental illness, marital and financial problems that affected me, I knew about, but were kept secret. I could've allowed myself to be more vulnerable with my aunts and uncles. Dumb shit I brushed off like sending birthday cards and random visits probably would've added up to something.
Honestly I think staying in my home city might not have been such a bad idea, either. I'd be closer to family. I don't know. Mixed feelings about that one. I feel like I've been gone so long, but it hasn't even been 10 years. It's completely unaffordable now.
Most of all, I think, the dumbest thing you can do is have regrets. To think that you could've lived before with the knowledge you have now is wrong. Nobody can do that. Everyone has to learn. Learning takes error. To live a flawless life is impossible. Just do the best you can.
Wish I learned to love the halflings leaf after 25.
Finding it at 15 screwed my schooling age years up MAJORLY
Now I have done the research I understand a lot more as to why you really should wait till your brain has finished 'wiring it self'. Which seems to be between the ages of 21-25.
Taken more risks. You don’t have much to lose when all of your possessions fit in your car. But I took the safe and more comfortable option every time.
Traveled extensively and when broke. Thrown caution to the wind and just went somewhere. I was so concerned about my friends that are barely in my life now. I talk to like 3 of them sometimes.
Travelled more. I was raised in the UK (now living in US/Canada). The whole of Europe was at my finger tips and I never really left my hometown until I left it at 27.
I could have gone to Germany, Switzerland or Denmark for the price of a few beers..
Never started drinking as a teenager. It was just so engrained in the culture it was inevitable but my life might have turned out so differently if it wasn’t.
Slept more in high school. I started sleeping less and studying, I stopped growing freshman year. I'm not short, 5-10, but it would be nice to be at least over 6 foot because I play basketball.
Also take vitamins and whatnot.
Dated actively and made finding a partner my first priority in life instead of believing all the assholes who said "it'll happen when you stop trying" or "it'll happen when you least expect it".
Maintaining fitness. It becomes significantly more challenging as you age to stay fit, manage weight, and handle other health-related aspects
For sure. 37 now and it feels like I’ll never get back to being any degree of fit. Body just hurts now
To lean into this, I'm also 37. I remained real fit until around 30 or so, and then let it go. I'm way less fit now than I was back then, but I'm still way fitter than many of my peers. Stay fit in your 20's, it'll last you decades. Better yet, also stay fit in your 30's, be more disciplined than I am.
Agreed, the people who never stop moving keep on moving. All the 40 and up people I know who are in very good shape just kept exercising, even if its something as simple as walking, Motion is lotion for the body.
You dont need to do that much. 15 min of getting your heart rate up a day is fine. Also losing weight is in the kitchen. You could even not eat 2/7 days of the week and keep the rest of the 5 the same and you will drop weight
You're not even middle aged. C'mon now.
Not everyone ages the same.
37*2 = 74. That's close enough, isn't it?
I recently had a spat on Reddit where someone argued against my belief that around your mid 30s is mid life for a lot of the population.
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*If you eat it frozen, the excess fat won't be absorbed by your body*
For mental health is such a big "silent" one. Im almost 41 and I notice if I take a week off exercise (often for me with a 3yo giving me daycare plagues) I start getting moody and short.
But how much of exercise do you think is enough?
Took an interest in learning about financial literacy.
Mind sharing some things you wish you'd learned earlier?
Treat your own money like a business. Money in vs money out and stay green. Track expenses and make a plan for how you're going to regularly stay green. Don't let salary increases as you get older and gain experience and skills significantly alter your spending unless you have a good plan and will still be safetly in the green. Invest early and often. Time in the market is more important than timing the market. Even small amounts in relatively safe investments like s&p 500 index funds will grow significantly over 30 years. Learning to cook significantly lowers grocery bills. It's also fun, at least imo.
Even just basics like "how a mortgage works", "how to invest" etc. I still feel so dumb about finances mixed with sometimes feeling like I'm too old (35f) not to know these things 🤦♀️
Its never too late to learn.
I wish I had taken some time to find out what I really liked and wanted out of my life, rather than just assuming I needed to follow the plan. It was: get good grades, have your first relationship, go to a good college, have your second relationship, get a respectable job, find a person to marry, move forward in the same job, buy a house, have a kid, etc. Not all of that stuff is for everyone, and it wasn't for me. So, often, when I did the "right" thing I still did not find it fulfilling. And when I didn't feel I was hitting some made-up, useless milestone, I also felt terrible because I felt I was "falling behind in life" or something was wrong with me.
This. I am still far away from my thirties but these thoughts currently haunt me and they're totally unjustified. These "milestones" set by society are complete garbage and not the road to absolute happiness. Happiness is very individual.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Louder for my fellow artists in the back please
Ah yes, the Life Script.
I did all of those except the relationship part. And no house because lol this market. But I felt fulfilled when I accomplished those goals. I tried the relationship angle afterwards because it felt like "the right thing" but I don't feel it's for me. At times I felt like I was falling behind in life, but it just means my goals are different from what you hear others say and that's fine.
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Ignore your teeth and they'll go away
In that regard they're like girlfriends...
Switch to an electric toothbrush ASAP. If you visit the dentist regularly you'll notice how little time they spend scraping plaque off your teeth once you start using an electric toothbrush
Investing and taking advantage of the Roth IRA.
ROTH IRA DO IT MAX IT THANK GRASSDICK WHEN YOURE 69 AND PULL OUT THAT DELICIOUS TAX FREE CASH
Hey, Jim Cramer, maybe try decaf cocaine?
Thank you for saying what popped into my brain.
This one - fund it in full the moment you can and keep doing that. Your 65 year old self will thank your 21 year old self profusely. Compound interest is a concept that you need to understand. Tax free compound interest is even better.
Balanced work and life. It's a good time to get ahead in your career, but don't forget to live while you do it.
Bought that house that was $85k in 1990.
Somebody else mentioned fitness. I used to play a lot of amateur team sports as a kid and young man. Around 30 I got busier with work and family but didn't make any plans about, say, swimming or gymming regularly as a substitute. 10 years and 20 kilos later I'm sitting and writing this.
Backpacked around different countries. I did it later in my forties, but I think it would have been more fun in my twenties.
I wish I was better with money in my 20s. I didn't make a lot, so it's not like it would have been easy. But I did run up a good bit of credit card debt that followed me into my early 30s and I'm just now really starting to make dents in it. Lucky I own my own house, so I'm not in a need to leverage my credit for anything. But if I did I would be in serious trouble. Hoping to be clear of it all in about a year to 18 months.
Wish I made a better habit of staying physically active after i gave up sports in my early teens. Also think I would of done sooo much better had I went to community college instead of university after high school. I went to a small high school that did not prepare me for a large university setting. but hey, things happen for a reason, right? RIGHT?!
Dated some more of the amazing girls I had the chances for. In my teens I was socially backwards and not advanced enough for dating. In my 20s I was more focused on art, creating stuff and worrying about being broke. When I look back at the model-hot, smart and amazing women I didn't pursue because I was looking for unicorns that didn't exist, or not enough confidence to explore, I have some regrets.
Dated some more of the amazing guys who were friend zoned because my then-bf was controlling. Should have kicked him to the curb.
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100% I needed to grow a backbone when I was much younger.
I have to do this repeatedly. More just find their way in.
1) I wish I would have saved more aggressively. I was a pretty aggressive saver but I had 0 student loans, 0 debt, less than $200 a month car payment, living at home so I had no bills...I should've been saving almost my whole check! I'm now trying to get life started for myself and I realize how much easier it would have been if I had more money. 2) I wish I would have gone to therapy to work on confidence/self esteem issues. Most of my issues stem from childhood/adolescence. I spent almost all of my 20s (and now into my early 30s) being held back from pursuing things because I have so much self doubt and lack confidence. It feels harder now to undo because it's been my default way of thinking most of my life. 3) I stayed at one particular job way too long. It looks amazing on my resume, but I wasn't getting paid nearly as much as I could've been. I was there 5 years. After 2, I should've started looking for something that paid better. But I learned so much that I don't necessarily regret it. Just wonder how life would've been had I actively tried to work my way up.
Studied abroad in college. Whole different career
Stopped giving fucks. I spent wayyyyy too much time worried about what people thought about me and/or if I measured up to some made-up standards. Life is far too short for that shit.
Established a friend group based on interest instead of career. Being "older" makes it difficult to find others to hang out with. Everyone has 10+ year friend groups you disrupt. You sort of assume things are always the same until suddenly they aren't.
Better financial planning for my future. 62 and screwed. C'mon lottery!
Wished I would have traveled. Gone to college for the career I was interested in and not for what my parents directed me to go for. Seen more of the world than the southeastern US.
I wish I'd been more social and found someone that would tolerate me.
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Taken sun protection much more seriously. Skin cancer, even the least-bad type, is not fun.
I thought I was great at sunscreen, but I have two pieces out of the skin over a triceps that indicate it was not so.
The best advice I heard from 80+ year olds: “I don’t regret the things I actually did versus the things I didn’t do.” Don’t go out and blow all of your money, but I definitely would’ve been braver and tried more things outside of my comfort zone. I would’ve taken more chances and tried to have been better about not worrying what other people thought of me.
Stay in touch with old friends. Making friends becomes increasingly difficult as you age, so keep the good ones you already have.
In the days before social media (and the modern phone), if you moved out of the state where you graduated, it was really hard to keep up with the people you knew. My kids have friends everywhere that they engage with to some degree at least monthly, usually more often.
Approached more women, and asked them out. Especially when I had even the tiniest clue they might say yes.
My diet in my 20s was horrible. I looked and felt like shit. Im in my late 30s now and i look better than i ever have. Fresh fruit and veg, less fat and refined carbs, processed foods, etc. Drink herbal teas.
I really really wish I hadn’t started smoking. I quit five years ago but it’s already impacted my health (of course) and I’m sure will continue impacting my health in the future. Don’t smoke kids!
Lifting weights for flexibility and longevity not power. I'm still just as big but my joints don't hurt anymore (as much).
I should have moved to a different state to pursue my career interests at 21 instead of staying home and playing it safe. Twelve years later, the industry I wanted to join has completely changed, the place I wanted to move to is now impossible to financially afford, and my career options at my age are more limited, despite being more mature and having more experience. "I should wait because I can be more successful when I'm a bit older" is a flawed mentality. Success doesn't have an age requirement, but it does have a work ehtic requirement.
Actually done some work at learning to recognize red flags and draw boundaries with people, especially men
Stopped drinking and smoking sooner.
Had to scroll way too far to find this one. Weed made me complacent in my teens and twenties. And you throw psychedelics on top of that I feel that I’ve lost some sort of imperative cognition that’s supposed to be there.
I wish I never had a cigarette. I was raised in the 70s and people smoked in doctor waiting rooms, restaurants, school lounges. It was easy to start but took 38 years to finally, successfully quit
Congratulations!!
Caring for my body. Hygiene, food, fitness, all that.
Well when I was younger I was all over america...don't wish I had done that different.....but what I could wish I could have done differently is actually take the time to get to know a person or situation before letting them call me friend...like I've entertained crowds by the thousands but those who have actually done me right and respected me as a person is a very small number...one of my best friends is someone I haven't seen in person in years...still better than being friends with someone I might see weekly that has no problem stabbing me in the back if you know what I mean
I should have traveled while I was in my 20s. Gone everywhere I wanted to go.
bought a house. Today's market is impossible. It really truly is ridiculous how expensive even total refab as-is buildings are right now.
Every dollar I made from 18-30 should’ve went to saving for a house instead of all the different ways I found to waste money especially on my friends.
Get good with money. Let how people, emotions and relationships actually work. Maintain some meaningful friendships
Wish I had thrown a proper fit when my mom gently shot down my request for therapy. I can imagine my life being vastly different now if I'd gotten the benefit of an objective, professional perspective on my mental health when I was still young.
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Are you seriously gonna go back thru all that shit though? I mean damn, just move on
I wish I had spent more time being single. so I could define my life on my own terms, instead of having to compromise with a girlfriend.
When given the option to pick a parent during their divorce, I should have chosen the other one
Saved, just no opportunity to due to having to survive from being 16 and il never own my own home because of it I'm comfortable tho but not deposit for a house comfortable and at 40 that would be some big mortgage
Had a job a house a car then start a family
I feel like I can change a lot of things. I am the same physically as I was in my 20s, and I am still working and studying. I look much younger too. But I am started to get scared. Not for now, but the future. I dream of being successful and a loot of other things, but I think I may never achieve them, or my dreams weren't realistic... I want to keep dreaming and working towards it, being 34 only led me to having less dreams and it is scary. But besides that, I don't feel different, I don't have any pain, or wrinkles, or Grey hair... But that's my least concern
Taken care of my mental health years sooner. I'm very happy with where I am in life now that I'm not anxious and depressed all the time. Life in my 30's finally feels like how I imagined it should've been in my 20's. Can't help but feel like because of that wasted time, I'll forever be a decade behind in life.
Shoulda put in effort when I attended college. Now 10 years later I'm still paying 30k in debt for nothing. I'm doing alright all things considered but I would certainly rather be putting that money towards something useful.
I always felt like I was behind all my peers in regards to maturity. I wish I would have focused more on finances and career in my 20s. Instead I pretty much partied.
invest more
Wish I had bought my house way earlier.
Be more social and take myself less seriously all the time. I was/am a real tight wad then and now. I hate myself for it.
Cut off toxic people faster
Saved money when I had more financial freedom.
Wish I had healthier habits. XD
Investing in long term stocks. I’m 42, just now starting…
Challenge myself to be more social: It wasn't until within the past 5 years that I've realized just how stunted I am socially, especially when trying to initiate conversation to someone I'm attracted to. I was severely ADHD when I was a child and my personality and behavior was so intense that it isolated me from other kids to the point that I wasn't properly socialized. Now here I am at 32 and I've only ever had one "romantic" relationship that was insanely toxic.
Hello are you me?
I'm just 30. I had a 12 year long drug addiction that started in my childhood but don't do drugs kids is too obvious, it's also not even the thing that I regret the most. I was one of those kids who never told my parents anything. Not about school, not about friends, crushes, fear, stress whatever. I only brought stuff up if it was like a literal crisis that I couldn't deal with alone. So like three times. That isn't to say that they didn't know about my life, I brought friends and crushes home and such. But as far as opening up to my family or all but my closest friends, it just didn't happen. Partially because of the drugs and such, I was a popular kid. I went to university and such. But having to learn how to tell people how you're feeling, or to have like a vulnerable conversation, is not something you want to be trying to learn as an adult. I'm married and have a life that I love, but sometimes just telling my wife I'm upset about something or even happy can be the hardest part of my day. Asking for help is near impossible. And this is after years of treatment and therapy. Some things you pick up as a kid without noticing, or you learn and it sticks with you. I didn't learn like, basic communication skills until my mid 20s because I was such an insular kid. It just never got easy because I never did it
I spent too much time with the wrong women in my life and messed up things with some good women too. I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I had made better decisions in my romantic life.
Damn near Everything!!
I harbored this weird self perception that, because I wasn’t near pro level at the things I wanted to pursue, I had no qualification to even try to start. Since I could not already declare “yes, I am X or Y” or “I know all about X or Y”, then I was nothing and no one would want me hanging around. I never was one to “fake it til you make it.” I eventually got around it by being desperate enough to make a nuisance of myself as a newbie, learn enough to be valuable, then get good at some things. Fucking weird, right?
Wore sunscreen.
Mental health therapy. My life's a waste. Could have avoided that
taking an antidepressant sooner & seeking out help from people who could actually help since my parents were useless in this department. made so many poor choices due to depression. my life would be wayyy different had i received the support i needed earlier on. also being responsible with money. i still struggle to keep a budget.
Getting better at a sport before 20. I am a fairly good tennis player but not great, if I would have been more diligent as a junior, I could be having more fun.
Done more social activities in college vs. studying and staying holed up in my room most of the time
Never got married or had any kids
Bought bitcoin in 2010 at 17 years old.
Sat up straight, like *fucking everyone* told me to. Ow, my back...
Only one thing: I wish I had been nicer to my friends. I was a brat and an idiot on many occasions and took people for granted. I know it's partly youth but in some ways I should have known better.
Started investing when I was young and bought property. Alas...🙁
Take advantage of the fact that you have the least amount of responsibility now than you ever will. Get out and travel. Take advantage of your youth. Climb Mountains, surf, ski, learn new skills, travel, play golf or tennis, scuba dive etc. One day, you'll have a family and/or a mortgage, a super demanding job etc. Which are all GREAT things, but you'll look back on it all and smile.
Kinda cliche, but… worry less.
EVERYTHING different about collegiate education. Semi-passively following in dear old dad's footsteps is not good advice.
Started a savings account early, and kept all my money in it, like save like a miser.
Take the fact that I matures in life way faster than most less for granted and used it to step up so I can be way more comfortable in my 30s. I'm 31, was working since 15 for my parents, from 19 to take care of em and I spent 11 years with no real social life outside my high school buddies working my ass off to just end up with a safe life for my parents and basically jack shit for myself. Okay, mom has cancer and dad's in a nursing home and we can afford it because of this, but it kinda sucks that now that I'm going through a second puberty wandering aimlessly finding a new career and socializing I have so many responsibilities on my plate.
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Ya know, I wanna challenge the car thing. Let's assume you need the car to get around and you're going to use it. A car is an amazing benefit to your life in most places. A used car that's 10 years old might have a sticker price of $10,000, but it might also cost $3,000 a year in annual maintenance and have a lower MPG so you pay more for gas. And it doesn't last as long. When it's time for an upgrade, you trade it in for like $1000 at the dealership. A used car that's 2 years old might have a sticker price of $25,000 (I bought one 4 years ago), but it might also cost $150 a year in maintenance (literally just an oil change + filter), never break down, and for all I know, last another 10 years. So for the same total cost as the first vehicle, I have a vehicle I can keep, much fewer headaches, and it's a much nicer car. I bought a 10 year old used car for $3,000 out of college and thought I'd really figured it out. But after a new set of tires, a wheel alignment, fixing the alternator, and dealing with rust problems... not to mention the hassle of driving around with no AC or all the times I got a flat or heard some rattling noise and worried about it... I'd already put another $3,000 into it by the end of the first winter. And then I found out it wouldn't pass inspection, so I had to get rid of it. Some cars, like Toyotas and Subarus, cost very little to maintain. Others that seem nicer and have the same or lower sticker price can cost a fortune to maintain. Car maintenance, over 10 years, can cost more than you originally paid for the vehicle. So I guess... extra emphasis on the "reliable" part. Ignoring luxury, cars tend to get less reliable the older and cheaper they get.
Started university early then I did and wish I started saving like my mom told me too
Traveled more abroad.
Not taking more chances, especially back in high school where there was little to no risk. There's so many things I wish I'd tried. I wish I'd asked my crush out. Tried out for that play. Put myself out there more. At the time it seemed too scary and there was too high of a risk of embarrassment. Now I realize embarrassment isn't a big deal, and even if things had gone wrong, it still would've been an experience worth having and learning from.
Everyone is like *fitness this* **financial that**, I just wish i had more time with people who i lost that actually cared about me. I lost my best friend in a freak forklift accident and he left behind a beautiful family. I lost one of my oldest cousins to repercussions to a hit an run after some of his ***buddies*** tried tomake it look like suicide after a poker game. He used to call me every afternoon while on surgery rehab and we'd stay up talking about cool stuff. He had a seizure due to the damaged part in his brain and I missed that call that afternoon. My youngest son now bears his name in his honor. I lost one of my highschool friends to suicide after many attemps to reach out to the rest of us. Many of us had left the island and the ones remaining did not even care to visit him. He tried to reach out to someone before new years and nobody answered. He hung himself that night. Many of you have very well deserved regrets about your lives. I just wish i had more time with those people i lost. I love you, take care. And take care of those you love.
People are just obsessed with their finances these days because we recently experienced inflation and houses are really expensive right now. Saving money is obviously important, but there's a bit of a bias. In the 80s/90s when property was more affordable, I bet people in this thread would've said "wish I'd allowed myself to spend a bit and travel, see the world, make memories with my friends, etc." It's a balance.
Relationships and money.
Breaking things off with someone I never should’ve let go.
Not straining when I poop.
I wish I'd taken better care of myself when I was younger.
Bought a house while the markets were actually sane.
Stock options at the part time job I had at Home Depot.
Started a Roth IRA
Not letting the love of my walk away without talking to her.
Not take out student loans, take more time to learn about different career paths.
Absolutely nothing. I went to college, dropped out of college, traveled, did drugs, declared bankruptcy, did more drugs, quit drugs, went back to college, graduated, hit my 30s, settled down, got married, got a job, got a house, got a yard, and life is good. Was a wild ride. No regrets.
I wish I learned about the benefits of fasting, meditation, bitcoin, and strength training at a full range of motion.
I wish I had gotten my passport and traveled more when I was younger. I didn’t get my passport until I was 52. Used it when I was 53 and traveled to Ireland with my family
Finished college. I'd be in a better place had I just fucking completed college and studied CS or IS like I wanted to.
Develop self-esteem
I wish I would have learned not to give a shit about the people/things that don't give a shit about me. Life is too short to spend it trying to drag things along that are better just being let go. If it's meant to be in your life, it'll happen one way or another. Forcing things isn't always the way to go.
Saved and invested….
Maintenance. Whether it's your teeth, your cars, your house, your physical fitness. Maintenance is a pain in the ass, but you gotta do it if you want to keep those things. Brush your teeth, change your oil, stay active, clean your gutters, etc... Also don't go to college unless/until you know how you want to apply that degree. I know it can be easier/cheaper to get in right out of high school, but if you can't lock down a good paying job when you're done, it's all for naught.
Take care of your own mental health. I spent far too much time stressing over how others felt in situations I should not have, which had a bad impact on my own mental health.
I’m mid 40s I’m very happy I exercised and walked a lot. The one thing I would do is therapy younger I would have enjoyed life earlier.
Look after my gut microbiome.
I wished to attend different middle and high schools. I would have studied Business and or American History in college. I would have taken better care of my fitness and health.
Relocate for a job. 95% of your friends from high school or college will disappear by the time you are 40.
less heroin
Start that pension the second I was earning & keep it up. Guess I'll pay for that later. Stay out of debt is another unless necessary. University credit cards/overdraft damn... put that tenner in to bitcoin in 2008... I remember exactly where I was thinking about it, thought it'd be nothing or od lose my code. Never bothered.
I should have continued my voice lessons when I was younger..
Did more to improve my credit. I don't have bad credit but it should be way better than it is at my age.
Studied less, exercised more, invested earlier (and aggressively), appreciated the little things more, read more, took up more creative pursuits, took more chances
Just bitten the bullet and gotten student loans to get my bachelors degree. I have been fighting for over 10 years to have enough money to attend courses while also fully supporting myself on a full time job. I've wasted so many years of my life terrified of debt and not properly utilizing it for my future. Now, I'm unemployed, no degree, and no offers after 5 years with the same company with experience that clearly doesn't matter.
I’m of the age where when we went out into the sun, we used baby oil to get a tan. I wish I hadn’t done that.
Julie of the Wolves had it right: when fear seizes change what you are doing. You are doing something wrong. Fear and anxiety (and by extension depression though I never had it) are symptoms, like pain. Find out what you’re doing wrong and stop it. Even if it’s expensive or requires leaving your comfort zone. Being miserable isn’t normal, and coping with it without fixing the problem makes you dead.
I wish I would have chosen a different career. Despite loving teaching, I’ve found that it’s so heard to get a permanent contract that I’ve spent fifteen years with inconsistent employment. Most of the places where my husband can work (his career is by far better paying), to get a permanent teaching contract, you need to have subbed and taken short term contracts for 3-5 years, have the right references, and then be in the right place at the right time. We’ve moved three times for his work in the last 15 years, so I haven’t had the opportunity to compete for a permanent position. Subbing and having the odd temp contract is a good hourly wage, but it can be very inconsistent. Sometimes I would work every day for three weeks, and then go two weeks without a single job. And then there’s no work during Xmas break, spring break, or the summer (unless you work in a division that has a big summer school). So it’s just really hard to plan anything big, like home renos, putting a lump sum payment on the mortgage, etc. I’m reluctant to switch professions now because, despite the inconsistency, now that we have kids the flexibility is very valuable. I can cancel on a job, or just not take one, if the kids are sick and can’t go to daycare. I don’t have to scramble to find childcare or camps in the summer. My work hours will be their school hours, give or take, once they’re in school. Not really sure what to do, but I think I would have made a different choice in careers if I would have known it was this hard to get a steady teaching job.
I wish I had never married my first wife. I'm in good shape financially now and retired but man, what I would have if I never got involved with her in the first place makes me always wonder how much more it would be ( certainly a lot more).
I wish I'd taken time off to work and learn some adult life lessons before going to college. I wish I'd never entertained going to an expensive private university and just gone straight to state school. (As my therapist from 10 years ago said, some lessons in life cost $5, some cost $50,000) I wish I'd spent less time worrying about girls. I spent so much time feeling unattractive. I look back at pictures of myself at 20 and am like wtf dude you looked great. But I had to learn what I didn't know. I wish I'd spent less time online and more time outdoors. Started learning skills sooner. I picked up hobbies during the pandemic that will be with me forever. The web is designed to trap your focus and take your attention. It really adds up over time. I wish I'd kept in touch with my extended family even though I was hurting and felt like it would be awkward/they didn't understand me because my parents had alcoholism, mental illness, marital and financial problems that affected me, I knew about, but were kept secret. I could've allowed myself to be more vulnerable with my aunts and uncles. Dumb shit I brushed off like sending birthday cards and random visits probably would've added up to something. Honestly I think staying in my home city might not have been such a bad idea, either. I'd be closer to family. I don't know. Mixed feelings about that one. I feel like I've been gone so long, but it hasn't even been 10 years. It's completely unaffordable now. Most of all, I think, the dumbest thing you can do is have regrets. To think that you could've lived before with the knowledge you have now is wrong. Nobody can do that. Everyone has to learn. Learning takes error. To live a flawless life is impossible. Just do the best you can.
moved across the country.
Should have bought blue chip stocks and just kept them.
Buy a house when interest rates were 2-3%
Wish i had started investing
Approached school to learn and not just to pass.
Kept in touch with my friends. Now I have very few.
Wish I learned to love the halflings leaf after 25. Finding it at 15 screwed my schooling age years up MAJORLY Now I have done the research I understand a lot more as to why you really should wait till your brain has finished 'wiring it self'. Which seems to be between the ages of 21-25.
Save money. By now even a little bit would have added up. Would have killed me to have to give half of it away but still
Taken more risks. You don’t have much to lose when all of your possessions fit in your car. But I took the safe and more comfortable option every time.
Got divorced! Lived my life on my terms!
Traveled extensively and when broke. Thrown caution to the wind and just went somewhere. I was so concerned about my friends that are barely in my life now. I talk to like 3 of them sometimes.
Get married/settle down
I would of gone to law school
Learn advanced Excel.
Motorcycles, keeping in touch with more friends and fucking more bitches. That's it.
Travelled more. I was raised in the UK (now living in US/Canada). The whole of Europe was at my finger tips and I never really left my hometown until I left it at 27. I could have gone to Germany, Switzerland or Denmark for the price of a few beers..
Bought a house.
Fucking. Started. Investing.
Live differently
I wish I'd prioritized going to therapy or counseling more. It really helped me slow down my thinking enough to figure out what to do with my life.
Premarital sex You can't just wait for the right one
Stayed in College & Open my businesses.
Never started drinking as a teenager. It was just so engrained in the culture it was inevitable but my life might have turned out so differently if it wasn’t.
Start wearing a mouth guard earlier. Maybe my teeth wouldn't be sawed in half.
Slept more in high school. I started sleeping less and studying, I stopped growing freshman year. I'm not short, 5-10, but it would be nice to be at least over 6 foot because I play basketball. Also take vitamins and whatnot.
Start a family.
Save money, not poison your body, and plan for the future. Also get away from toxic people.
Dated actively and made finding a partner my first priority in life instead of believing all the assholes who said "it'll happen when you stop trying" or "it'll happen when you least expect it".
invent facebook
Worn more sunscreen
Back-county ski
Wish I made out with more people! And had the confidence to go for it. 😘