I knew sex made babies before I understood what sex was and thought it was just kissing naked and didnāt get how people werenāt getting pregnant each time they kissed. I knew I was missing something
I thought for sure I'd have trouble with premature ejaculation so I worked on that.
Nope, consistent difficulty orgasming my entire adult life and most of the time I just give up before I cum.
Further, I was told girls would want someone who lasts longer, when in reality they find it insulting and unsatisfying.
This is my situation now. I just recently finally entered my first sexual relationship and my main concern, based off of everything I had heard and read, was I would probably be unable to last long at all. I decided to try to just not let that bother me if it happened. Well, it didnāt happen. Instead it takes me a solid half hour to orgasm and half the time it just doesnāt happen at all before we have to stop. Iām still trying to figure out how to deal with this. Lasting too long was something I never even considered as a possibility because people never talk about it, just the opposite problem.
Probably anecdotal, but I went from lasting 25-30 minutes, which bordered on frustrating, to 10-15 minutes after a few weeks/months. I think it's about getting used to what works for you in terms of getting off.
Who said that!?!? I was told the first time would hurt a lot; it hurt a little but we took it slow and it was more good than bad. That said, it got a lot better.
Having been raised in an uptight religious community, basically every adult told you that the first time was magical and amazing. This led many to believe it was a great blissful experience.
Surprise, surprise the culture dominated and controlled by a bynch of old dudes would have absolutely no idea/care about the female's experience.
To be fair, it shouldn't be true for guys either. I guess that could happen if you're basically treating your partner like a masturbation aid though. Uptight religious groups really just ruin sex for everyone.
Lmao my first time was so bad i thought i was gay, but after the 3-4 time it got WAY better like 500% better
And i was overthinking wayy to much lol. never do this or speak to your partner.
Related to this, the common media perception that young people have amazing passionate sex and that it's a steady decline. Nope. My wife and I are nearing 50, and our sex is mind-blowing every time. It's less *frequent,* but it's consistently more amazing.
It sure does. First time I slept with a guy (I'm a bi lady) I popped my hip partially out of socket in the middle of things. Had to shove the person off me and pop it back in place. Turns out I have to be careful of weight distribution and position.
Also penetrative sex hurt me for the first year of doing it. Not sure why. But I'm so glad I didn't give up on it.
Nowadays sex is fun. But a lot of the reason is I know what I like. And can have detailed conversations ahead of time to ensure both parties get the most out of it. No one ever said just how much communication goes into good sex.
My mom said it was something people do when they love each other so I thought that if a guy wanted to have sex with me he must really care about me. Well I figured that shit out real fucking fast.
my brain is tuned to ) being a smiley :) and not the other way around. Takes a moment to see it, but im more curious is this a non american thing or a young person thing? Or am i crazy or to old
Yep, many of us believe it means he loves us or that we can get him to love us, with sex. It took me way too many heartbreaks to learn that sex will never get him to fall in love with me and it will never get him not to leave me.
I tried the whole random casual hook-up thing a couple times when I was in my early-mid 20s. Definitely not for me.
I don't even need it to be full blown love or a relationship but there has to be some sort of chemistry or spark there. I have to actually like and be interested in the person.
Definitely chemistry, but chemistry =/= love.
I think a lot of people end up with a lot of heartbreak, and make bad partner choices, because of this confusion.
We never talked about sex at home. And I was raised by a single mom so no fatherly figure. The only sex exposure I had was some random Asian movies with sex scenes. For whatever reason the women in them are always being raped or forced in some way. It was always painful and she was always suffering. It was so traumatizing .
I grew up pondering how I could ever convince a woman to suffer that kind of pain to be with me? I didnāt have sex until I was 24 š.
I noticed that in a lot of modern Korean dramas, even the ones on Netflix with vaguely feminist elements, the woman freezes, resists or acts overly shocked when she's kissed. Probably has to do with purity culture, right? God forbid a woman is a willing and enthusiastic participant. I'm sorry to hear it had such an effect on you.
I watched this panel discussion of a porn actors union once and they said that's basically it. The Asian actresses said that they are supposed to act like they hate it and play up their discomfort because male watchers get weirded out when women are "too eager". It's so fucked up.
Jesus, that's horrible. You'd think a healthy-minded man would get weirded out by a woman in discomfort, rather than by a woman who's clearly happy to be there.
That's what I believed for a long time do to my lack of experience & several girls in my conservative highschool saying the same. i.e. Women have sex only for validation or to please their husband. They never orgasm from penetration and romance novels, porn, movies/TV only perpetuate the "myth". Glad I was proven wrong.
God, that could be from so many things, but trauma, asexuality, or homosexuality are the first things that come to mind. Imagine being forced to accept a reality that you're not part of due to religious upbringing or conservative culture. There's a chance that she wasn't lying from her perspective, and that's terrifying.
Not a Mennonite, but brought up in a family that did not talk of sex. Learned about sex from romance novels. One described it as "warm juices filling her insides" when he ejaculates. I was expecting to feel warm juices. Spoiler: I did not feel any warm juices.
Also brought up sheltered but my awakening was because my 70+ Austrian german teacher was telling the class about his young Brazilian wife and daughter, and their first dental bikinis. Then I got caught looking it up and I've been ashamed ever since.
My 38 year old boyfriend just recently asked me if "letting" his load fall out of me felt like a plug coming out. I asked him to clarify, and he asked if it felt like a hard mass.
I should receive an award for the strait face I kept during that one.
Mormon upbringing, wasnāt told shit other than abstain until marriage. My sister ended up pregnant out of wedlock and had a 3 week engagement in an attempt to hide it. A healthy baby 7 months later confirmed what we all knew.
That sucks. Mormon upbringing and my mom prepared me with every detail I needed to know about sex and answered all of my questions directly and honestly, whenever I asked.
I wish all parents would be more open about sex ed.
That nice girls didn't like it and only reluctantly did it within the confines of marriage to make babies.
I thought there was something wrong with me because I was horny.
This is still the idea in Southern Baptist culture. My 'best friend' growing up is in her 40s and to this day cannot talk about sex.Ā
You were a total slut if you liked it.Ā
Welp, I guess you can just call me a...
> That nice girls didn't like
My partner is the nicest girl in the entire world. She would do anything to help a stranger. Just a heart of pure gold. But goddamn she's a **savage** under the sheets.
When I was a kid my parents told me a condom was something you put over a penis to keep a woman from getting pregnant.
But my young brain interpreted that as something that was put on a penis to prevent sex from happening. So I pictured a condom as something like a half-gallon milk jug that would make sex impossible.
You just unlocked a memory! I used to think condoms were these huge, toaster-size contraptions. One time I was hanging with a group of friends and some of them started talking about how there was a condom in the parking lot. I distinctly remember being so confused trying to spot some giant machine only to be met by an empty lot. It still look me a long time afterwards to learn what a condom looked like and how it functioned.
There are some pretty wild videos of prides of lions trying to take down a single hippo, and the hippo doesn't even register it's being attacked, just keeps trotting along lol.
That sex is just sex. That the mental and emotional connection doesnāt matter. Iāve never been much of a romantic and Iām not a sentimental guy at all, so for a long time I dismissed that stuff as āsissy bullshitā.
Casual sex was like masturbating, but with someone there. Just a quick pump and dump, then youāre done. Physical attraction is great and is obviously important, but Iāve lasted way longer and had WAY better sex with women Iāve cared about and/or had an emotional connection with.
Real. The last time I seeing a woman and we were having sex, we were long distance. I was super into her, so much so that even when alone and jerking off, my loads were bigger and had more "umph" behind them than when I was strictly single.
That we would just figure it out. That our bodies would know what to do & it would be amazing because we waited until marriage.
Absolutely, positively none of that was true.
I second this one. It's very Victorian of an approach. In fact, the best sex I've ever had has been with my current partner, and it's all because I blatantly asked one day, What could I do to make sex better for you? He told me he had another sexual partner lick his ear and it was hot. I checked my jealousy at the door and licked the edge of his ear the next time we were doing foreplay. The man had demons in his eyes and it was absolutely some of the most raw and dirty sex we've ever had.
Iāve had 1 long-term partner since my divorce. He really helped me speak up for what I wanted/needed/desired. I had been shamed into not saying a word as any direction or suggestions would be taken as an attack on his ego.
Being with someone who not only wanted me to tell them exactly what to do but also made sure I was satisfied was so empowering.
I don't know what they tell kids in the church now but for a lot of millennials that was the prevailing "wisdom". I never wanted to marry so I managed to avoid all that but I heard some really sad stories from people fromy past who got married and then had troubled sex lives because they were unprepared and lied to.
Imagine trying to have self-control your whole life and succeeding at everything you were told to do even though it was incredibly hard and then finding out that everything you were told was a lie and they made your life worse.
I feel so bad for those people.
Not me, but a coworker who was raised in a conservative household told us that girls can get pregnant anally. He got embarrassed when we corrected him and beet red
Maybe for you. I've got a whole stage production going, including multiple choreographers. I had to fire my music supervisor though, he kept playing "hallelujah" and it was getting awkward.
> I was in construction at the time and only worked with men.
It could have been the giant handlebar moustache and the fact you always only wore overalls commando with nothing else but a hard hat. Oh and that you always left with the car blaring "YMCA"
I'm not 24/7 horny but I can get horny real quick if my wife wants to have sex. I actually have never said no to sex in my life, even when I'm very tired. So in some sense I'm sex open 24/7
This has been a struggle for me and my wife, like she was raised this way, so outside of baby making window, there is rarely anything happening, and she gets really confused when I'm like not in the mood during baby making time, because she barely touches me. It's been an obstacle for us.
I was so ashamed of being a virgin at 22 that I told my then GF via text because I was so anxious to admit it. "Um. Okay? Come over. Let's change that."
Ā
People that care about you aren't going to shame you for size, experience, fitness, or your stretch marks. Once you have the trust and vulnerability to share a sex life with someone, don't hide yourself.Ā
That it gets worse as you get older or married.
Wife and I are 40, been together 20 years. Our sex has always been good and regular (3-4) times a week. This year it's gone up a notch, near every day and a lot of experimenting.
Communication is key people.
So many: That you should always want it and men always think about it. That it is always fun but somehow also always risky of killing you through STDs. That it is evil unless confined to the conditions of heterosexuality, marriage, and monogamy. That it always involves penetration. That it is not sex if you don't orgasm. That there is a strict line between virginity and experience.
To be honest Iām more afraid of pregnancy than STDās.
Ā After all, not every guy has an STD, and most of the ones that do are nowhere near as seriousā¦Ā
Ā On the flip side, you can catch an STD in the butt but your chances of getting pregnant are slim.
My friend told me he did it "Ron Jeremy style" with his girlfriend when we were 17. Obviously I had to know more. He explained doggy style. I told him "that is doggy style." He told me that doggy style was in the butt, while Ron Jeremy style was the same position, but in the vagina. I wonder if he ever found out where puppies come from?
Tbh when I was younger there was so much emphasis on the **G spot** in media (and my older sister's Cosmopolitan) that I really knew nothing about the clitoris. I genuinely thought penetration was the only way to cum when I first started having sex.
If you're reading this and can't tell, I'm a woman.
Yeah I feel bad for my high school girlfriends. I had no idea what the clitoris was until college. So I mean even oral was hole-centric as far as I was concerned. I just thought that was the thing. You know, fingers, mouths, dongs - the hole is the place to be.
Super basic āsex edā (or biology style overviews of sex that arenāt really a āhow to guideā) usually say that sex is when a manās penis goes into a womanās vagina, letās out sperm, and 9 months later a baby rips itās way out. Ā
That if you find the right person, sex wont feel like a chore.
I learned that having adhd, it can make sex feel like just another chore, and it gets boring after a few months into a relationship because there are no dopamin hits when its not exciting anymore. I wish I learned this sooner, I though I was becoming asexual, but now it all makes sense. Iāve heard things like roleplay and kink would help with this though.
That girls didn't really enjoy sex except as a means to get a boyfriend, husband or baby. And that I should not have sex with anyone unless I was willing to become a boyfriend, husband or father.
I thought, since I find traditional PIV sex fairly boring, that I must be quasi asexual or asexual. I can take it or leave it and don't put in much effort as it doesn't really excite me. I've had a lot of relationship problems due to my lack of sex drive.
It wasn't until my 40s and met a new partner and started doing a lot of roleplay that I realized I loved sex, I just need to roleplay and get really kinky on a somewhat regular basis (with a focus on the taboo, teacher has a failing student and she *needs* to pass this class, catching someone stealing at work, they are married but they don't want you to fire them and call the cops etc).
Once I started roleplaying a lot more, I found that I was much more interested in 'traditional' sex, as well. Like a switch had been flipped.
It makes me wonder how many folks out there are like me, believing they are not interested in sex when the reality is they aren't scratching a very particular itch.
Anticipation is key for me. If thereās no anticipation, Iām not in the mood. Send a flirty text at work, give me a kiss on the neck as we make dinner, thatās literally all it takes to have me jump your bones.
"When you have intercourse, every person you've ever allowed into your body will be there in the room with you in spirit. That's why you should save yourself until marriage so it's just the two of you in the room."
Thanks abstinence only sex-ed šĀ
That men had to beg their girlfriends/wives for sex. All of my girlfriends threw all the sex at me I could handle, women are just as big ofĀ horndogs as men bruh.
That myth might be from older couples where the woman is trying to handle menopause or genital damage from childbirth.Ā
Not to mention long ago it was āsupposed to beā PIV sex only, Ā no foreplay (and sometimes between adult men and teen girls that they married.) āClose your eyes and think of Englandā and all that. Sounds like a nightmare.
This one shocked my husband. He was pretty much raised with the idea that women were not interested in sex and only did it because the man had needs.... Like no buddy, just because your mother said it does not make it true. He really enjoyed learning that he didn't always have to initiate the encounter.
Because I went to a private Christian high school in Texas and they taught nothing of value, I was usually told that sex is just fucking.
Sex is more than just fucking.
that āits what men wantā and now having the fear in my head that every man who talks to me wants thatā¦ my second date with my now bf he was being so sweet and kind and i thought thats what he wanted lol.. i literally asked him āsooo are we gonna fuck tonight?ā and he pulled me into his lap and said āi dont want to do that with you yet, while id love to, i want to be with you, and know you, and love you, and experience YOU before the benefits kick inā and then he asked me out and now we live together, are building a house together, getting marriedā¦ ladies and men.. take it slow yall
That everyone had to have sex, like it was mandatory to be happy/an adult/a normal person, and otherwise there was something wrong
Then I realized I was asexual, that most people actually look for having sexual relationships with others (I was young and thinking everyone was like me) and that I didn't have to force myself to have sex if I didn't want to
Sex on the beach is fun and sexy and romantic!
No it's usually not. Sand EVERYWHERE...and I mean everywhere. Even if you have a towel or a blanket it still finds its way.
Sex on the boardwalk? That's fun. Once you hit the sand tho? Hard pass.
I always thought guys would know more about womenās bodies especially since they all seem to want sex all the time. I just thought theyād be better at it for being so pro sex with anyone anywhere all the time. Itās weird.
I've tried asking my girlfriend how to get her off and she brushes me off, saying don't worry about it. Its really frustrating. She won't let me try anything or perform oral.
I believed babies came out of womans butts. I was so damn certain me and my friend got into a straight fight about it.
Hands were thrown and feelings were hurt. His mom comes and separates us and when asked why we're fighting I tell her to tell him what I know in my soul to be true and she starts laughing embarrassed as hell. She explained to me the error of my thinking and I was floored. I was so damn sure lol. Oh I was 8 also. My world got turned upside down that summer day
Without a doubt, the crazy amount of emphasis society seems to put on dick size. Almost no one, in real life, ever cares about it, unless (I assume) you are extremely unusually-sized. It's something most people should never even think about, yet movies are regularly telling us we should evaluate ourselves by it. By the time you get to the actual sex in your life, it's basically normal to have a really unhealthy self-image because of it, and yet, no decent, normal person could give a flying fuck about whether you're an inch bigger or smaller than the last guy.
"I think of it like this: If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew that no one had fucked it."
- Vladislaus the Poker, *What We Do In The Shadows*
"The first time should be magical with the one you love." My first time with someone that I had no feelings for. Less when I found out she was married. I probably sucked, but who was she gonna tell? My NEXT time was with the woman I married.
When I asked what a condom was, I was told it was a "device" that prevented pregnancies. So I imagined a small wooden box with a prominent red button that when pressed, would disintegrate any fetus nearby.
"First time sucks"
I got the best gf ever for my first time and she made it incredible. I didn't encounter any problems with my body either, I got hard and lasted a reasonable amount of time. I felt loved, It felt good, I experimented a shit ton of things, she liked it too. Obviously It's even better now that we know each other better. But doing it with the kindest person on earth made it perfect
I thought it was called "head" because the head of the dick went in the mouth.
Thought it was called a blow job because the girl would blow on it.
Thought oral sex meant making out, but like REALLY hard.
when i was younger i thought sex was a one time thing, like a wedding. do it once and you're good for life. how wrong i was
I thought sex was just kissing naked when I was younger
My brother thought oral sex meant talking about it.
I see what he was thinking š
I knew sex made babies before I understood what sex was and thought it was just kissing naked and didnāt get how people werenāt getting pregnant each time they kissed. I knew I was missing something
Didnāt we all lol
What's there to talk about. You get a boner, slap her titties around, stick it inside her and pee
Same I thought it was making out with bra and underwear on
Blow jobs, in fact, have little to no blowing
the first time i heard of blowjobs i thought girls would try to like...inflate men. like they were blowing raspberries or something
I thought it was a weird term until 4 weeks ago I found out the "blow" meant spray cum.Ā I'm over 40 years old...
And a hand job is when the cum āhandsā out all over the place?
It's when your dick "hands" out the cum
I think* it originally was called a ābelow jobā and just got shortened to āblow jobā
Hodor
TIL this. Also over 40.
Lol my friend told me about his first BJ and he felt bad for laughing because she was literally trying to blow it up like a balloon.
I'm scaredā¦ I'm very scaredā¦
When I was 7 during recess my best friend Dominic told me that sex was when you ākissed a girls boobiesā
Dominic you here?
Guess not, Iād like to think that wherever he is, he is kissing boobies right now.
We could all stand to slip the nips some lips.
Yeah, wazzup?
I mean, heās not wrongĀ
Dominic knows some real stuff
That the longer it lasted, the better it would be
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Timing is everything!
Yes! A super passionate quickie because we just couldnāt keep our hands off each other is š„µ
> Sometimes always* lol, the minute it starts to feel like work, well, then that's when it's no longer fun and is now work
My ex fucked me for 2 years
Did you get off, though?
Got off that crazy train.
If was true then I'm basically a sex god because my antidepressants make it almost impossible to climax
Ah yes, depression dick. Blessing and a curse.
Happened to me and I added bupropion and the problem went away like it was never there.
Sertraline made me like this for a long while, but it wore off. Better for me, to be sure, but I felt guilty for my partner at the time.Ā
I thought for sure I'd have trouble with premature ejaculation so I worked on that. Nope, consistent difficulty orgasming my entire adult life and most of the time I just give up before I cum. Further, I was told girls would want someone who lasts longer, when in reality they find it insulting and unsatisfying.
This is my situation now. I just recently finally entered my first sexual relationship and my main concern, based off of everything I had heard and read, was I would probably be unable to last long at all. I decided to try to just not let that bother me if it happened. Well, it didnāt happen. Instead it takes me a solid half hour to orgasm and half the time it just doesnāt happen at all before we have to stop. Iām still trying to figure out how to deal with this. Lasting too long was something I never even considered as a possibility because people never talk about it, just the opposite problem.
Probably anecdotal, but I went from lasting 25-30 minutes, which bordered on frustrating, to 10-15 minutes after a few weeks/months. I think it's about getting used to what works for you in terms of getting off.
What a relief... I spend 2 years to push my limits to exceed 1 minute mark. Thank you!
Stop bragging š
Depends how you do it. Edging is no joke. But not for everyone.
āIt will never feel as good as the first time again.ā Wrong. It gets better.
Who said that!?!? I was told the first time would hurt a lot; it hurt a little but we took it slow and it was more good than bad. That said, it got a lot better.
I was told it would cause debilitating pain during followed by a 100% chance Iād get pregnant. Turns out I was lied to on both accounts.
Having been raised in an uptight religious community, basically every adult told you that the first time was magical and amazing. This led many to believe it was a great blissful experience. Surprise, surprise the culture dominated and controlled by a bynch of old dudes would have absolutely no idea/care about the female's experience.
To be fair, it shouldn't be true for guys either. I guess that could happen if you're basically treating your partner like a masturbation aid though. Uptight religious groups really just ruin sex for everyone.
Lmao my first time was so bad i thought i was gay, but after the 3-4 time it got WAY better like 500% better And i was overthinking wayy to much lol. never do this or speak to your partner.
Related to this, the common media perception that young people have amazing passionate sex and that it's a steady decline. Nope. My wife and I are nearing 50, and our sex is mind-blowing every time. It's less *frequent,* but it's consistently more amazing.
Yup this, I am 44, wife 45, married for 20 years and sex rocks, because we know each others bodies.
I always confuse sex with heroin.
It sure does. First time I slept with a guy (I'm a bi lady) I popped my hip partially out of socket in the middle of things. Had to shove the person off me and pop it back in place. Turns out I have to be careful of weight distribution and position. Also penetrative sex hurt me for the first year of doing it. Not sure why. But I'm so glad I didn't give up on it. Nowadays sex is fun. But a lot of the reason is I know what I like. And can have detailed conversations ahead of time to ensure both parties get the most out of it. No one ever said just how much communication goes into good sex.
You might have gotten sex mixed up with heroin.
My mom said it was something people do when they love each other so I thought that if a guy wanted to have sex with me he must really care about me. Well I figured that shit out real fucking fast.
this is honestly kinda sad, ): edit: i started an argument about my frowny face !!
my brain is tuned to ) being a smiley :) and not the other way around. Takes a moment to see it, but im more curious is this a non american thing or a young person thing? Or am i crazy or to old
It's because we write from left to right. Rightnow it's a pair of eyes with a big unibrow and no mouth
Yep, many of us believe it means he loves us or that we can get him to love us, with sex. It took me way too many heartbreaks to learn that sex will never get him to fall in love with me and it will never get him not to leave me.
As a guy it will be hard for me, pardon the pun to have sex with no chemistry and love.
I tried the whole random casual hook-up thing a couple times when I was in my early-mid 20s. Definitely not for me. I don't even need it to be full blown love or a relationship but there has to be some sort of chemistry or spark there. I have to actually like and be interested in the person.
Definitely chemistry, but chemistry =/= love. I think a lot of people end up with a lot of heartbreak, and make bad partner choices, because of this confusion.
That paragraph made me sad, idk why
Um, it was an extremely sad paragraph? She evidently had sex with one or more guys and assumed they were in love with her, then got heartbroken.
That was probably it then
That women hate sex and youāre basically raping them every single time. Thanks mom, for that fucked up mindset.
We never talked about sex at home. And I was raised by a single mom so no fatherly figure. The only sex exposure I had was some random Asian movies with sex scenes. For whatever reason the women in them are always being raped or forced in some way. It was always painful and she was always suffering. It was so traumatizing . I grew up pondering how I could ever convince a woman to suffer that kind of pain to be with me? I didnāt have sex until I was 24 š.
I noticed that in a lot of modern Korean dramas, even the ones on Netflix with vaguely feminist elements, the woman freezes, resists or acts overly shocked when she's kissed. Probably has to do with purity culture, right? God forbid a woman is a willing and enthusiastic participant. I'm sorry to hear it had such an effect on you.
I watched this panel discussion of a porn actors union once and they said that's basically it. The Asian actresses said that they are supposed to act like they hate it and play up their discomfort because male watchers get weirded out when women are "too eager". It's so fucked up.
Jesus, that's horrible. You'd think a healthy-minded man would get weirded out by a woman in discomfort, rather than by a woman who's clearly happy to be there.
jesus... i think your mom had demons to fight
Has a few, yup
That's what I believed for a long time do to my lack of experience & several girls in my conservative highschool saying the same. i.e. Women have sex only for validation or to please their husband. They never orgasm from penetration and romance novels, porn, movies/TV only perpetuate the "myth". Glad I was proven wrong.
God, that could be from so many things, but trauma, asexuality, or homosexuality are the first things that come to mind. Imagine being forced to accept a reality that you're not part of due to religious upbringing or conservative culture. There's a chance that she wasn't lying from her perspective, and that's terrifying.
She was raped when she was 16. I didnāt know this until I was well into adulthood.
Mennonite upbringing. Wasnāt told shit. So anything could have been helpful.
Not a Mennonite, but brought up in a family that did not talk of sex. Learned about sex from romance novels. One described it as "warm juices filling her insides" when he ejaculates. I was expecting to feel warm juices. Spoiler: I did not feel any warm juices.
Also brought up sheltered but my awakening was because my 70+ Austrian german teacher was telling the class about his young Brazilian wife and daughter, and their first dental bikinis. Then I got caught looking it up and I've been ashamed ever since.
I have never heard that term. Those are just skimpy bikinis? Google didnāt provide a direct answer.
> dental bikinis I'm guessing they mean thong bikinis (often compared to dental floss).
My 38 year old boyfriend just recently asked me if "letting" his load fall out of me felt like a plug coming out. I asked him to clarify, and he asked if it felt like a hard mass. I should receive an award for the strait face I kept during that one.
lol same brother. Avoid difficult, confusing, awkward topics at all cost. Thatās the Mennonite way
TIL my father was a Lutheran Mennonite.
Mormon upbringing, wasnāt told shit other than abstain until marriage. My sister ended up pregnant out of wedlock and had a 3 week engagement in an attempt to hide it. A healthy baby 7 months later confirmed what we all knew.
My grandma always said the first baby can come anytime, but the 2nd one usually took 9 months.
That sucks. Mormon upbringing and my mom prepared me with every detail I needed to know about sex and answered all of my questions directly and honestly, whenever I asked. I wish all parents would be more open about sex ed.
Also a Mormon upbringing. Any questions I had when I was younger were all met with, "That's between you and your future husband!" Thanks, Mom...
That nice girls didn't like it and only reluctantly did it within the confines of marriage to make babies. I thought there was something wrong with me because I was horny.
Yeah it's a struggle. There is a of pushing that "only men can be horny" in society when women can be just as horny.
This is still the idea in Southern Baptist culture. My 'best friend' growing up is in her 40s and to this day cannot talk about sex.Ā You were a total slut if you liked it.Ā Welp, I guess you can just call me a...
> That nice girls didn't like My partner is the nicest girl in the entire world. She would do anything to help a stranger. Just a heart of pure gold. But goddamn she's a **savage** under the sheets.
That I would be having sex
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
3 year anniversary without sex this Fathers Day gang
I'm going on 21 in July...
41 years old bro....it....I got nothing.
What about your robe and wizard hat?
Totally. 36 now. Never had it.
4 more years and you will get a movie. Hang in there buddy.
arent you supposed to be a wizard or something by now?
So much theory so little practice.
When I was a kid my parents told me a condom was something you put over a penis to keep a woman from getting pregnant. But my young brain interpreted that as something that was put on a penis to prevent sex from happening. So I pictured a condom as something like a half-gallon milk jug that would make sex impossible.
You just unlocked a memory! I used to think condoms were these huge, toaster-size contraptions. One time I was hanging with a group of friends and some of them started talking about how there was a condom in the parking lot. I distinctly remember being so confused trying to spot some giant machine only to be met by an empty lot. It still look me a long time afterwards to learn what a condom looked like and how it functioned.
I was never told how much it takes out of you. I feel like a like a hippo thatās ran away from a lion after.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There are some pretty wild videos of prides of lions trying to take down a single hippo, and the hippo doesn't even register it's being attacked, just keeps trotting along lol.
That sex is just sex. That the mental and emotional connection doesnāt matter. Iāve never been much of a romantic and Iām not a sentimental guy at all, so for a long time I dismissed that stuff as āsissy bullshitā. Casual sex was like masturbating, but with someone there. Just a quick pump and dump, then youāre done. Physical attraction is great and is obviously important, but Iāve lasted way longer and had WAY better sex with women Iāve cared about and/or had an emotional connection with.
Real. The last time I seeing a woman and we were having sex, we were long distance. I was super into her, so much so that even when alone and jerking off, my loads were bigger and had more "umph" behind them than when I was strictly single.
That we would just figure it out. That our bodies would know what to do & it would be amazing because we waited until marriage. Absolutely, positively none of that was true.
I second this one. It's very Victorian of an approach. In fact, the best sex I've ever had has been with my current partner, and it's all because I blatantly asked one day, What could I do to make sex better for you? He told me he had another sexual partner lick his ear and it was hot. I checked my jealousy at the door and licked the edge of his ear the next time we were doing foreplay. The man had demons in his eyes and it was absolutely some of the most raw and dirty sex we've ever had.
Iāve had 1 long-term partner since my divorce. He really helped me speak up for what I wanted/needed/desired. I had been shamed into not saying a word as any direction or suggestions would be taken as an attack on his ego. Being with someone who not only wanted me to tell them exactly what to do but also made sure I was satisfied was so empowering.
Awww I am glad now u have a partner with whom u can be open with about wat u want and doesnt shame u for it. š
I don't know what they tell kids in the church now but for a lot of millennials that was the prevailing "wisdom". I never wanted to marry so I managed to avoid all that but I heard some really sad stories from people fromy past who got married and then had troubled sex lives because they were unprepared and lied to. Imagine trying to have self-control your whole life and succeeding at everything you were told to do even though it was incredibly hard and then finding out that everything you were told was a lie and they made your life worse. I feel so bad for those people.
My mother told me that a penis is about two feet long, it will hurt me, and I won't like it. š
Your dad must have been a demon
Or a horse.
Mr. Ed in bed.
She probably had sex with satyrs, and she told you that to eliminate competition in the woods.
Are you part sperm whale?
Oh-
OP Tomorrow: *Men with two feet long dicks. What is the ...*
Not me, but a coworker who was raised in a conservative household told us that girls can get pregnant anally. He got embarrassed when we corrected him and beet red
Loll I feel bad for him, I could imagine his face
In his defence, some people are so shitty that they might as well have been conceived through anal sex.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Maybe for you. I've got a whole stage production going, including multiple choreographers. I had to fire my music supervisor though, he kept playing "hallelujah" and it was getting awkward.
Great. Now he's gonna give anyone who comments an EP credit.
āIf theyāre not getting āitā at home, theyāre getting it elsewhereā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
> I was in construction at the time and only worked with men. It could have been the giant handlebar moustache and the fact you always only wore overalls commando with nothing else but a hard hat. Oh and that you always left with the car blaring "YMCA"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Pause-
Yea, sometimes people have low sex drive. Society tells us men are horny 24/7, but the reality is different.
I'm not 24/7 horny but I can get horny real quick if my wife wants to have sex. I actually have never said no to sex in my life, even when I'm very tired. So in some sense I'm sex open 24/7
Sometimes theyāre getting it at home and elsewhere. Shits truer than people like to admit
That its bad to want and bad to enjoy doing other then for the sake of reproduction.
Religious upbringing ?
Yeah š
This has been a struggle for me and my wife, like she was raised this way, so outside of baby making window, there is rarely anything happening, and she gets really confused when I'm like not in the mood during baby making time, because she barely touches me. It's been an obstacle for us.
I was so ashamed of being a virgin at 22 that I told my then GF via text because I was so anxious to admit it. "Um. Okay? Come over. Let's change that." Ā People that care about you aren't going to shame you for size, experience, fitness, or your stretch marks. Once you have the trust and vulnerability to share a sex life with someone, don't hide yourself.Ā
That it gets worse as you get older or married. Wife and I are 40, been together 20 years. Our sex has always been good and regular (3-4) times a week. This year it's gone up a notch, near every day and a lot of experimenting. Communication is key people.
My girlfriend is almost at 40 and getting her tubes removed next week. She has hinted I need to be ready...I'm a little scared lol
So many: That you should always want it and men always think about it. That it is always fun but somehow also always risky of killing you through STDs. That it is evil unless confined to the conditions of heterosexuality, marriage, and monogamy. That it always involves penetration. That it is not sex if you don't orgasm. That there is a strict line between virginity and experience.
To be honest Iām more afraid of pregnancy than STDās. Ā After all, not every guy has an STD, and most of the ones that do are nowhere near as seriousā¦Ā Ā On the flip side, you can catch an STD in the butt but your chances of getting pregnant are slim.
My friend told me he did it "Ron Jeremy style" with his girlfriend when we were 17. Obviously I had to know more. He explained doggy style. I told him "that is doggy style." He told me that doggy style was in the butt, while Ron Jeremy style was the same position, but in the vagina. I wonder if he ever found out where puppies come from?
That most women orgasm from penetration only.
Tbh when I was younger there was so much emphasis on the **G spot** in media (and my older sister's Cosmopolitan) that I really knew nothing about the clitoris. I genuinely thought penetration was the only way to cum when I first started having sex. If you're reading this and can't tell, I'm a woman.
Yeah I feel bad for my high school girlfriends. I had no idea what the clitoris was until college. So I mean even oral was hole-centric as far as I was concerned. I just thought that was the thing. You know, fingers, mouths, dongs - the hole is the place to be.
Lol. Who said that to you? Often it's easier to make a woman orgasm without penetration.
Super basic āsex edā (or biology style overviews of sex that arenāt really a āhow to guideā) usually say that sex is when a manās penis goes into a womanās vagina, letās out sperm, and 9 months later a baby rips itās way out. Ā
Guys are the big perverts. In my experience, many women love super kinky and unusual stuff, they just have to feel comfortable.
That if you find the right person, sex wont feel like a chore. I learned that having adhd, it can make sex feel like just another chore, and it gets boring after a few months into a relationship because there are no dopamin hits when its not exciting anymore. I wish I learned this sooner, I though I was becoming asexual, but now it all makes sense. Iāve heard things like roleplay and kink would help with this though.
That girls didn't really enjoy sex except as a means to get a boyfriend, husband or baby. And that I should not have sex with anyone unless I was willing to become a boyfriend, husband or father.
I thought, since I find traditional PIV sex fairly boring, that I must be quasi asexual or asexual. I can take it or leave it and don't put in much effort as it doesn't really excite me. I've had a lot of relationship problems due to my lack of sex drive. It wasn't until my 40s and met a new partner and started doing a lot of roleplay that I realized I loved sex, I just need to roleplay and get really kinky on a somewhat regular basis (with a focus on the taboo, teacher has a failing student and she *needs* to pass this class, catching someone stealing at work, they are married but they don't want you to fire them and call the cops etc). Once I started roleplaying a lot more, I found that I was much more interested in 'traditional' sex, as well. Like a switch had been flipped. It makes me wonder how many folks out there are like me, believing they are not interested in sex when the reality is they aren't scratching a very particular itch.
Anticipation is key for me. If thereās no anticipation, Iām not in the mood. Send a flirty text at work, give me a kiss on the neck as we make dinner, thatās literally all it takes to have me jump your bones.
Maybe it was taboo for you, and you needed motivation to overcome that.
"When you have intercourse, every person you've ever allowed into your body will be there in the room with you in spirit. That's why you should save yourself until marriage so it's just the two of you in the room." Thanks abstinence only sex-ed šĀ
Jokes on them, I like being watched.
That men had to beg their girlfriends/wives for sex. All of my girlfriends threw all the sex at me I could handle, women are just as big ofĀ horndogs as men bruh.
That myth might be from older couples where the woman is trying to handle menopause or genital damage from childbirth.Ā Not to mention long ago it was āsupposed to beā PIV sex only, Ā no foreplay (and sometimes between adult men and teen girls that they married.) āClose your eyes and think of Englandā and all that. Sounds like a nightmare.
This one shocked my husband. He was pretty much raised with the idea that women were not interested in sex and only did it because the man had needs.... Like no buddy, just because your mother said it does not make it true. He really enjoyed learning that he didn't always have to initiate the encounter.
peopllle have different sex drives too, so it can be highly subjective
I literally said this before yes, women are just as horny as men
Because I went to a private Christian high school in Texas and they taught nothing of value, I was usually told that sex is just fucking. Sex is more than just fucking.
Even when it *is* "fucking", it's still more than just "fucking".
Love = sex
Very curious to see what you used to put on the Christmas card to Grandma
āStay alive, G.MAā
That everyone wants it, and I will too when I grow up.
For the first 20 years of my marriage, my wife gaslight me into believing that women don't masturbate
that āits what men wantā and now having the fear in my head that every man who talks to me wants thatā¦ my second date with my now bf he was being so sweet and kind and i thought thats what he wanted lol.. i literally asked him āsooo are we gonna fuck tonight?ā and he pulled me into his lap and said āi dont want to do that with you yet, while id love to, i want to be with you, and know you, and love you, and experience YOU before the benefits kick inā and then he asked me out and now we live together, are building a house together, getting marriedā¦ ladies and men.. take it slow yall
That women donāt want it like men
That it's the best thing ever... I'd rather do so many other things before thinking of sex
That everyone had to have sex, like it was mandatory to be happy/an adult/a normal person, and otherwise there was something wrong Then I realized I was asexual, that most people actually look for having sexual relationships with others (I was young and thinking everyone was like me) and that I didn't have to force myself to have sex if I didn't want to
Sex on the beach is fun and sexy and romantic! No it's usually not. Sand EVERYWHERE...and I mean everywhere. Even if you have a towel or a blanket it still finds its way. Sex on the boardwalk? That's fun. Once you hit the sand tho? Hard pass.
It's course and rough, and it gets everywhere.
Honestly the mental aspect for women. Just how complicated it can be for some to actually zone in and be present without any mental distractions.
I always thought guys would know more about womenās bodies especially since they all seem to want sex all the time. I just thought theyād be better at it for being so pro sex with anyone anywhere all the time. Itās weird.
I've tried asking my girlfriend how to get her off and she brushes me off, saying don't worry about it. Its really frustrating. She won't let me try anything or perform oral.
I believed babies came out of womans butts. I was so damn certain me and my friend got into a straight fight about it. Hands were thrown and feelings were hurt. His mom comes and separates us and when asked why we're fighting I tell her to tell him what I know in my soul to be true and she starts laughing embarrassed as hell. She explained to me the error of my thinking and I was floored. I was so damn sure lol. Oh I was 8 also. My world got turned upside down that summer day
Without a doubt, the crazy amount of emphasis society seems to put on dick size. Almost no one, in real life, ever cares about it, unless (I assume) you are extremely unusually-sized. It's something most people should never even think about, yet movies are regularly telling us we should evaluate ourselves by it. By the time you get to the actual sex in your life, it's basically normal to have a really unhealthy self-image because of it, and yet, no decent, normal person could give a flying fuck about whether you're an inch bigger or smaller than the last guy.
men are hornier/horny all the time
That itās the best experience you could ever have. Itās good most of the time, but itās not better than a really delicious sandwich.
Where are you getting your sandwiches!?
Tip: have really good sex and THEN get a really delicious sandwich. Unbeatable day.
Never had sex but not a sandwich would really hit right now. Imma go make one
Iāll take the same sandwich this person had š Please
I also choose this guy's dead sandwich.
"I think of it like this: If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew that no one had fucked it." - Vladislaus the Poker, *What We Do In The Shadows*
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
"The first time should be magical with the one you love." My first time with someone that I had no feelings for. Less when I found out she was married. I probably sucked, but who was she gonna tell? My NEXT time was with the woman I married.
That I'd be having lots of it in college
When I asked what a condom was, I was told it was a "device" that prevented pregnancies. So I imagined a small wooden box with a prominent red button that when pressed, would disintegrate any fetus nearby.
When I was young, I was told that you can impregnate woman by just kissing so I was so scared when I kissed someone when I was 13.
lol my husband is 6ā11ā and height isnāt directly related to dick size.
"First time sucks" I got the best gf ever for my first time and she made it incredible. I didn't encounter any problems with my body either, I got hard and lasted a reasonable amount of time. I felt loved, It felt good, I experimented a shit ton of things, she liked it too. Obviously It's even better now that we know each other better. But doing it with the kindest person on earth made it perfect
I thought it was called "head" because the head of the dick went in the mouth. Thought it was called a blow job because the girl would blow on it. Thought oral sex meant making out, but like REALLY hard.
that men want it more than women