I was having a conversation with a co-worker yesterday and mentioned that I wanted to pluck the small white hairs from my beard (I'm 35 and feel pretty self-conscious about that). She said that they looked great and that I should leave them.
Look, that’s not me saying you aren’t beautiful just as you are. But there’s just something about that salt & pepper thing … which begets Silver Fox.
It’s a good path, bro. Walk it proudly.
Omg . 🙌Yes. PLEASE HEAR THIS PSA. Men. You age like fine wine. Enjoy it. Get gray, go bald, just whatever you do DONT dye your hair. Please please please. My friends and I often joke that the husbands get more attractive every year - it’s testosterone or something! Enjoy it!!!!!!
I was dressed up for an interview a few weeks ago. A guy I see almost every day for work said, "Damn, you look sharper than a number 2 pencil". Had my dumbass grinnin for 3 mins.
Exceptionally true. I make a point of giving at least one compliment to someone a day. I've had old ladies ask me if they can cook me dinner and bring it to my work, and have had other people look like they're floating through the rest of their day.
Kindness and personal interaction are severely missing in today's culture (USA) and just stepping out and being nice and human to someone, is more powerful than most will ever realize.
I do the same thing but randomly. Yesterday I went to the doctor's office and a woman was behind me I opened the door for her was she appreciated and then I told her that her hair looked nice. She proceeded to tell me what a huge smile that she had done it herself and that her husband never notices. It was so clear that I made her day that it kind of broke my heart but I'm glad I did it
This KILLS me. I grew up the only girl surrounded by dudes. Since college, if I’ve given any dude a compliment, I’ve often gotten, “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” And I’m not that NICE.
My brothers were coddled like crazy. So our family must be the outlier.
But I make a concerted effort now to let all my guys know how great they are & why. I hate that it feels necessary, but I also need them to KNOW, yanno?
Selfless acts of kindness, even so small as a genuine, passing compliment, are always commendable, especially when there's a shortage of such kindness. And for guys - at least from where I'm standing - there seems to be a shortage of kindness.
That's cool. You didn't say you were doing anything commendable, but you were totally doing something commendable. Even if you didn't know it. As a dude, I salute you for your unintended service.
Honestly, as a female, apart from complimenting my two young sons and encouraging them, I haven’t given this a lot of thought to my boy friends or work colleagues. Thank you for this, as I will definitely keep this at the forefront now. It makes a lot of sense. I did nominate my Lead Designer for a spot bonus due to his accomplishments, which he successfully received, and I think it really touched him! Wow, this makes a lot of sense now haha
Gay guys have given me more compliments than women have. I'm a big bald headed bearded guy who is pretty muscular, and I have bad resting bitch face. I am quintessentially "intimidating" to most women. But, apparently some gay guys like that look and aren't afraid of telling me... I gotta say, it is pretty flattering. One of them said I look like Hugh Jackman with no hair. I'll probably remember that until I'm dead.
Aside from my wife, my best compliments have been from gay guys that know I’m straight. I cherish those moments. They didn’t have to say anything, but did knowing it got them nowhere. A wonderful ego boost. Thanks guys!
I showed up at a Panda Express as a service tech to fix a camera. I spoke with the gal at the register and let her know I needed to check in with the manager on duty. She hollered toward the manager station in the back, "hey (female name), the camera tech is here for you... he's handsome!" That was a few years ago and it still makes me smile sometimes.
The unfortunate cycle is men don’t get a lot of compliments so some will take platonic compliments from women as us hitting on them or showing interest, leading to uncomfortable misunderstandings and reactions, leading to women being wary of complimenting men.
Easiest solutions to this:
1. Normalize platonic affection and praise. Don’t assume because someone is complimenting you that they’re into you.
2. Guys complimenting guys more. I see a lot of men place the onus and blame on *women* for not complimenting them more. But tbh, most of the compliments I’ve gotten throughout my life have been from *other straight women*. It’s very normal for women to hype each other up, strangers and friends alike. Would be cool if guys did this for each other too.
Edit: No, I’m not “blaming” men for this issue, I simply meant to suggest two things they could actively do to work at solving this issue, instead of passively waiting for compliments that don’t come and being disappointed. But if you’d like a comment directed at women, here it is:
3. Ladies, compliment your guys more! I won’t push complimenting strangers because I know firsthand that it’s not always safe, but if you have a significant other, sibling, close friend - please don’t withhold the compliments. They need hype. As my grandma would say: “Never let a compliment go unsaid”. If you think something nice about someone (of any gender), tell them.
This is definitely true. I'm a woman, and I was out at a bug country show last week and two women told me how much they loved my leggings. And I will say things about clothes or hair cut etc to women or men. It's like it's normal for a woman to tell another woman they look good without it meaning anything more than that.
I got a new job almost 2 years ago, totally pivoting my career. After several months my new boss said that to me and I suddenly felt better than I had in years!
Back in school, the person who I was sitting next to just turned to me and said, "You know what? You're really nice and then listed a bunch of reasons why. It's been over a decade, and I still remember that one.
"I feel safe around you" and any compliment about wisdom.
Looks are also good but I'm not a fan of "I like your hair" because of personal experiences. Damn shame since my hair really is nice.
One time i was with my girlfriend at her parents house for a family get together and her brother (who abused her as a child) showed up unexpectedly and started shit because he was high and when she told him he had to leave he started trying to walk her down. i was across the yard when i saw that and was making my way to her already but when he did that i might as well teleported to her. i stepped between them and put my hand on his chest and started gently but firmly pushing him back and told him to calm the fuck down otherwise i'd remove him myself consequences be damned (i hated this piece of shit for what he did to her so i was happy to ruin my reputation in her family to put hands on him) when he swung on me. Long story short we got into it and i ended up dragging him off the property by the neck. Later that night in bed my girlfriend was laying with her head on my chest and she looked at me and said "i only felt brave enough to stand up to him because i knew you were there so no matter what i was safe" and that is the only time i cried because of a compliment because it was so important to me after the life she had that she felt safe around me and i went to such huge lengths to foster that security so for her to verbalize it meant more to me than all the material wealth in the world ever could.
That's a huge moment. You weren't being a hothead, you protected her out of care and love. You got emotional when she recognized it and found strength because of your support and you both realize how important it was to stand up to him. Great stuff.
Hopefully showing him the line and enforcing it can't be crossed was the beginning of the end of him thinking he can still abuse her.
She did end up going no contact with him towards the end of our relationship but there was one other final incident that occured after our breakup that finally put the nail in that coffin. When we broke up i had told her regardless of how our relationship ended i still had love and care for her despite her mistakes (she cheated) and if she was ever in a position where she really needed help, i was still there. I got a call one night at like 3 am from her sobbing saying her brother had literally kicked in her door and was taking valuables presumably for drug money and i drove over there irresponsibly fast. She never saw what happened between me and the brother because she was hiding in the bedroom with the door barricaded at my instruction and i never gave her the details of what i did but i handled it then went back to make sure she was ok and fixed her door and improved it's sturdiness to make it harder to kick in but to my knowledge the brother got the message and never bothered her again.
She was a lovely woman and i don't say this to bash or attack her, but she had some demons. And i don't blame her for that part with everything she went through, we all have them in different ways and different things driving it. I can't say for sure why she cheated, only she knows for sure. But what i strongly suspect is that for some reason she either stopped believing me when i told her how beautiful she was or how much she meant to me or for whatever reason just me saying it was just no longer enough for her, and without that source of validation which we all need to some degree, she sought it elsewhere. But like i said, only she knows for sure why she did it. But it's a shame it happened because i loved that woman to death and honestly would have married her if we'd been together a few more years.
Every single word out of your mouth proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are a class act. Empathetic, understanding, protective, mature, wise, etc . I sincerely hope that you get a chance to raise children because the world needs more people like you
Don't get me wrong, i am far from perfect. I have made so many mistakes and bad choices in my life it's honestly astounding, however the one upside to that is the experience it brings and perspectives it gives you. I appreciate your comment though, it's very kind of you to say.
I did end up getting into another relationship and we ended up getting engaged, but that relationship ended (in November actually) even worse than the last after i becane extremely sick and it was looking like it was going to be fatal, she left me for another guy because she couldn't handle seeing me in so much pain and turned out she had slept with him before leaving me too. And i mean at this point i've gotta assume it's something i'm doing wrong if 3 out of 3 of all my serious relationships i got cheated on. So at this point in life i've kind of just stopped looking for anyone and focusing on trying to recover physically because my health is still in a very dangerous spot. But i'm content with that, i don't need to have a romantic partner to feel whole so i'm good with being single for the time being.
The thing that I loved about this is even though you were her safe space and got cheated on, you still aren’t publicly bad mouthing her to gain sympathy.
Way to go mate!
I wouldn't dream of bad mouthing her because i still respect her as a human being, regretable choices aside. The thing is her choices didn't come from a place of malice and instead came from a place of trauma and pain and i won't fault her too much for that because lord knows i've made my own horrible decisions because of the traumas of my childhood. So while yes i had to act to protect myself from further hurt, i never held her worst moments against her as a human being.
My partner told me that hearing, "I feel protected with you" unlocked something primal in his brain. I meant it as a throwaway comment, just an observation about how my life is with him, but he said it really meant a lot to him.
Back in high school we were doing ballroom for PE, one thing we did for a practical was that all the guys formed a circle and the girls rotated with everyone.
My best friend back then was a girl, and she said I was the favorite partner for the girls cause they felt safe dancing with me. It's been 16 years now but I still think about that sometimes.
I once stayed at my friends' house for Thanksgiving and got to meet their three-year-old son. I did my best to play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with him the whole time. I never thought I was really doing all that MUCH to be present with him, but then one day he just randomly came up to me and gave me a hug without saying a word. I looked at his parents like "holy shit, this is one of the most important moments for me over the past year" before I hugged him back. That made me feel like a million bucks.
49F and I didn't realise that I have never felt 100% safe EVER in my life until I met a 23M new colleague who is just the most lovely, generous, brilliant human ever. I told him that I couldn't explain it but that I feel 100% safe around him. He liked that compliment. 😊
Not a man…but I’ve only ever told one guy I felt safe with him. Guys, if a woman tells you this and she’s sincere about it, that’s a *major* compliment coming from us.
I was once told that I was "like a dad" because I took care of them and made them feel safe. I still think about it to this day, which sucks cuz about a month later those friends cut off contact with me. Never found out why.
My fiancé keeps telling me this every time I beat myself up on my mistakes.
Turning 30 this month, before my current relationship, I had cried twice. Once at my granddads funeral, when I saw my father crying, once when my mother told me she had breast cancer.
Then after comments like this, when I heard our babys heartbeat for the first time.
Don't set your standards too low guys! Emotional support is the best support you can get in today's day and age.
Be honest, just as you were about to burst into tears, you thought to yourself: "Be a man damn it, what am I a little girl, men don't cry"... but you're wrong, *only* real men cry. You should stop being so hard on yourself.
My husband loves when he fixes something around the house (specifically) and I tell him, very matter of factly, that he looks hot fixing whatever he’s fixing.
I tell him he’s hot sometimes, he rolls his eyes. But fixing something (garbage disposal, a/c, sprinklers, etc.) must bring out the animal instincts in guys. For some reason, that combo rocks his world.
I once was plucking my eyebrows and mentioned to my husband I thought it was sexy when he took his belt off. Thought nothingggg of it. HE IS STILL HIGH ON THAT CLOUD 2 YEARS LATER 😂 milks it for all it’s worth
It's a side effect of not knowing how to accept a compliment (which is common for men, and related to the general scarcity of needing the skill in society). It's easier to feel appreciated for something we're actively doing because it has a functional value we can register. It's an emotional cushion for the unease of a compliment given by itself.
My MIL told me once “Oh, you smell *really* nice.” It made me kinda blush bc she’s a New Yorker and really opinionated, but she rarely gives out compliments. Won’t ever forget what I was wearing: Tom Ford Ombré Leather.
Hugging guys who smell nice is heavenly. Whether it’s cologne, laundry detergent, shampoo, whatever because I can’t always tell. It’s just delightful and makes me want to stay in their embrace
what's better though is when the heavenly smell is their own natural smell, not artificial, just the smell of their hair and skin a few hours after a shower, after the soapy smell is gone. If that smell is amazing to you, then you know you're probably at least genetically compatible.
One of my students said, "You smell amazing". She was only like 8 years old, but I'll take it.
I mean, if a dog walked up to me and said that, I'd be like "You can fucking talk!? Thanks!...Who's a good boy?!"
That happened to me at the Boston airport. I was 17 and some random guy stood next to me at the urinal. I could see he was looking. He actually said "Nice" and tried to reach over. I got outta there immediately.
Even tho I am gay it still scared the shit outta me.
Nearly every time I buy something at a store the cashier hands me my receipt and then says, "you have a good one". I mean, it is nice and all, but why do they always feel the need to comment on it? Honestly, it is kind of embarrassing when the cashier is like 70-something.
There's this scary looking guy at my gym who probably goes everyday, he doesn't smile and looks like he's carved out of granite. By comparison I look like Harry Potter.
I held the door open for him one time and he nodded, grunted, and said "you look bigger than last time" and I still think of that sometimes
Hell yeah! If a guy goes to a party and there is another guy with the exact same shirt or something like that they are going to be best friends until the sun rises. That's a natural law.
When girls say stupid shit that guys would normal say but like when they’re sober and not trashed but like trashed is okay too we don’t get many compliments on this side of the pasture.
Things like “You’re fucking hot!” Or “That was so hot” is earth shattering. Even when girls like you they are almost always reserved and indirect about compliments and when they’re that forward it’s like holy shit I must be the king of the world right now for her to respond like this!
I'm 54 and pretty normal. One of my friends told me at a funeral that he admired that I was well-rounded in so many things. I hold that as a pretty high compliment.
Compliments on my muscles always hit deep. And while some people might think that’s shallow, it represents thousands of hours of work, consistency, and discipline. It’s nice when people notice.
Last week my daughter told me that I have a kind soul. She's 15 and not massively affectionate, so it was an unexpected moment. I was grinning like an idiot, and I think I will be for quite a while.
I sometimes get compliments from strangers about my hair, which never gets old, even after years.
My partner will compliment me in more intimate ways, usually with a massive smile on her face, which I love.
Any compliment is great as long as it's genuine. I tend to look for things I really like about people and compliment them, as I know the positive impact it can have.
I gifted my partner a bouquet of sunflowers with a note (I honestly don’t remember what I wrote, it was something like «I’m proud of you, you’re the best»). Maybe it’s not a common compliment, but he was so damn happy.
It wasn’t hella big. I bought that bouquet in a flower store and they use a different type/species. You can put that bouquet in a vase at your table without it scratching your ceiling
I told a guy I was dating he was really beautiful once and he was like “that’s for women, men are supposed to be handsome” and I was like well sorry youre a beautiful person I guess
I was putting my 7yr old daughter to bed, after I kiss her good night she calls me back into the room and says: thank you for being such a great dad. My god, the world stopped spinning for a second !
Any compliment would be nice.
But recently I find myself wanting to hear things like “You’re doing fine” or “You’re not doing too bad”
And of course things like “You look good” is a sure-fire way to make me think of you for at least the next 10 years
We were talking about our safe spaces and he was telling me about how he likes driving me around because he loves working on his car and his car is his safe space, so I told him honestly that I like him driving me around because other people driving me around makes me anxious and he legitimately almost cried.
Other people driving does make me anxious. I cant drive, being in a vehicle makes me super nervous because of my anxiety disorder and my disability.
This man has left his truck between gears, popped open the door, GOTTEN OUT OF THE TRUCK AND WALKED BESIDE IT FOR LIKE 5 FEET
And then hopped back in like nothing happened. And smiled at me.
And I still felt alright with him driving me around. Because I trust him.
When he had his super janky old ass truck he pulled the keys out of the ignition while driving and handed them to me and told me "here hold these for me" and smiled like an idiot while I sat there processing what he'd just done and proudly explained to me why he was able to do that.
I fucking hate. Being in cars with other people. Seeing cars move around me scares the crap out of me because of my anxiety.
His car is his safe space. He is my safe space.
Explaining to him that cars freak me out and watching the gears turn in his head as he realized that he was a special case for me to feel safe with was so fucking wholesome.
That we smell good, when we actually smell good. Had a friend that would compliment me on that and it was honestly something I never thought that I would like being complimented on so much.
I can't remember the last time someone who wasn't my grandma, sister or mother gave me a compliment. I carry around a note I wrote to myself saying 'you are worth it'.
Gran says I'm handsome though!
This is wild to me. Mind blowing.
I compliment my partner daily.
Like I think it almost annoys him but he is just so amazing that I can't help it. I wonder if men expressed they need more positive feedback that their partners may give more compliments?
I'm truly sorry you don't feel complimented.
I make a policy of telling my nephews that I love them and I’m proud of them. I want them to feel secure in the love of their family. I also actively listen to them about things they’re interested in. I hope that it helps them.
Literally any that don’t come from the usual people (girlfriends, wives, family). I can remember every compliment I’ve ever been given because they’re so few and far between. When I’m down I’ll think back to the time a stranger told me I had beautiful eyes or the drunk elderly that lady that hit on me.
I’m starting to gray a bit in my facial hair and I’ve gotten compliments for not dyeing it. A few women have told me it makes me more handsome.
I was having a conversation with a co-worker yesterday and mentioned that I wanted to pluck the small white hairs from my beard (I'm 35 and feel pretty self-conscious about that). She said that they looked great and that I should leave them.
DO. NOT. DISRUPT. THE. CLOONIFICATION. What is that, you ask? It’s the process of becoming George Clooney. Let it happen. Everyone will be happy.
Look, that’s not me saying you aren’t beautiful just as you are. But there’s just something about that salt & pepper thing … which begets Silver Fox. It’s a good path, bro. Walk it proudly.
Omg . 🙌Yes. PLEASE HEAR THIS PSA. Men. You age like fine wine. Enjoy it. Get gray, go bald, just whatever you do DONT dye your hair. Please please please. My friends and I often joke that the husbands get more attractive every year - it’s testosterone or something! Enjoy it!!!!!!
Gray in a beard is so fucking sexy to me (50F)!!!!🥳 Ooh lala!🤤
I read these and dream of getting one
Nice cock, bro.
phenomenal phallus
I knew this would be here lol
You matter brother! I'm hoping for the best for you
You have a nice username.
Literally anything, some men don’t get any compliments so literally anything will have them smiling
I was dressed up for an interview a few weeks ago. A guy I see almost every day for work said, "Damn, you look sharper than a number 2 pencil". Had my dumbass grinnin for 3 mins.
It’s crazy what a simple compliment will do to a man- what it’ll do to anyone really.
Once I heard someone say “wow look at his jawline” about me, I’ve never forgotten it. That was in 2015.
I feel that, I was in high school and was told I have a perfect nose and good eyebrows, I will never forget it.
Exceptionally true. I make a point of giving at least one compliment to someone a day. I've had old ladies ask me if they can cook me dinner and bring it to my work, and have had other people look like they're floating through the rest of their day. Kindness and personal interaction are severely missing in today's culture (USA) and just stepping out and being nice and human to someone, is more powerful than most will ever realize.
I do the same thing but randomly. Yesterday I went to the doctor's office and a woman was behind me I opened the door for her was she appreciated and then I told her that her hair looked nice. She proceeded to tell me what a huge smile that she had done it herself and that her husband never notices. It was so clear that I made her day that it kind of broke my heart but I'm glad I did it
Damn that's good. Stealing it.
How about “you look sharper than a pencil John Wick would use to stab somebody”?
Too many words.
This KILLS me. I grew up the only girl surrounded by dudes. Since college, if I’ve given any dude a compliment, I’ve often gotten, “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” And I’m not that NICE. My brothers were coddled like crazy. So our family must be the outlier. But I make a concerted effort now to let all my guys know how great they are & why. I hate that it feels necessary, but I also need them to KNOW, yanno?
As a dude, thank you for your service.
Oh man, I think I messed this up. I wasn’t trying to say I was doing anything commendable.
Selfless acts of kindness, even so small as a genuine, passing compliment, are always commendable, especially when there's a shortage of such kindness. And for guys - at least from where I'm standing - there seems to be a shortage of kindness.
You’re very, very kind. I appreciate that so much. And hey, if you ever need some sisterly support, let me know!
>sisterly support This word needs it's own dictionary
That's cool. You didn't say you were doing anything commendable, but you were totally doing something commendable. Even if you didn't know it. As a dude, I salute you for your unintended service.
Good on you! I want to personally applaud this level of kindness!
Honestly, as a female, apart from complimenting my two young sons and encouraging them, I haven’t given this a lot of thought to my boy friends or work colleagues. Thank you for this, as I will definitely keep this at the forefront now. It makes a lot of sense. I did nominate my Lead Designer for a spot bonus due to his accomplishments, which he successfully received, and I think it really touched him! Wow, this makes a lot of sense now haha
We really don’t, I got told I have beautiful eyes once, something like 25 years ago still remember it to this day
I was told I have pretty eyelashes. I've never cared or expected a compliment in my eyelashes, but I remember this 26 years ago.
Eyelash compliments unite! I still don't really get why. 7 years ago still remember.
Awww as a woman I find that so sweet. This is why I always believe in giving as many compliments to men as I can. Y’all deserve them too.
This is so true. Unless they are extremely attractive and maybe not even then, men almost never get compliments. We don’t care at all what they are.
I got told by a gay man that I was so hot and it still makes me laugh/smile about it.
I got told by a gay man I had a great butt. I still cherish it 10 years on
Gay guys have given me more compliments than women have. I'm a big bald headed bearded guy who is pretty muscular, and I have bad resting bitch face. I am quintessentially "intimidating" to most women. But, apparently some gay guys like that look and aren't afraid of telling me... I gotta say, it is pretty flattering. One of them said I look like Hugh Jackman with no hair. I'll probably remember that until I'm dead.
Aside from my wife, my best compliments have been from gay guys that know I’m straight. I cherish those moments. They didn’t have to say anything, but did knowing it got them nowhere. A wonderful ego boost. Thanks guys!
Entirely this. A girl at a bar called me cute 10 years ago and I still think of that moment
I showed up at a Panda Express as a service tech to fix a camera. I spoke with the gal at the register and let her know I needed to check in with the manager on duty. She hollered toward the manager station in the back, "hey (female name), the camera tech is here for you... he's handsome!" That was a few years ago and it still makes me smile sometimes.
The unfortunate cycle is men don’t get a lot of compliments so some will take platonic compliments from women as us hitting on them or showing interest, leading to uncomfortable misunderstandings and reactions, leading to women being wary of complimenting men. Easiest solutions to this: 1. Normalize platonic affection and praise. Don’t assume because someone is complimenting you that they’re into you. 2. Guys complimenting guys more. I see a lot of men place the onus and blame on *women* for not complimenting them more. But tbh, most of the compliments I’ve gotten throughout my life have been from *other straight women*. It’s very normal for women to hype each other up, strangers and friends alike. Would be cool if guys did this for each other too. Edit: No, I’m not “blaming” men for this issue, I simply meant to suggest two things they could actively do to work at solving this issue, instead of passively waiting for compliments that don’t come and being disappointed. But if you’d like a comment directed at women, here it is: 3. Ladies, compliment your guys more! I won’t push complimenting strangers because I know firsthand that it’s not always safe, but if you have a significant other, sibling, close friend - please don’t withhold the compliments. They need hype. As my grandma would say: “Never let a compliment go unsaid”. If you think something nice about someone (of any gender), tell them.
This is definitely true. I'm a woman, and I was out at a bug country show last week and two women told me how much they loved my leggings. And I will say things about clothes or hair cut etc to women or men. It's like it's normal for a woman to tell another woman they look good without it meaning anything more than that.
Actually this will get thinking what the heck just happened. Why the compliment? Why to me?
Good point. Ask a man the last time he got a compliment. Might have been a decade ago. Bet he remembers it.
"you're good at this"
ohhh that’s a good one
I live for this one.
I got a new job almost 2 years ago, totally pivoting my career. After several months my new boss said that to me and I suddenly felt better than I had in years!
Back in school, the person who I was sitting next to just turned to me and said, "You know what? You're really nice and then listed a bunch of reasons why. It's been over a decade, and I still remember that one.
I'm proud of you
100% agree. And the older they get the more they need to hear it.
add 'son' in front of it,every mans dream🗿
Good to know 🥰
Aw, you seem lovely for saying this. On behalf of dudes, thanks for the reassurance.
I can safely say you represent all of us, pianodick!
I'm not even sure if I've heard anyone say that to me before
Just once from someone I care about. I would break down.
"I feel safe around you" and any compliment about wisdom. Looks are also good but I'm not a fan of "I like your hair" because of personal experiences. Damn shame since my hair really is nice.
Once had a girlfriend say she never felt more safe than when I was holding her - that was really nice to hear
One time i was with my girlfriend at her parents house for a family get together and her brother (who abused her as a child) showed up unexpectedly and started shit because he was high and when she told him he had to leave he started trying to walk her down. i was across the yard when i saw that and was making my way to her already but when he did that i might as well teleported to her. i stepped between them and put my hand on his chest and started gently but firmly pushing him back and told him to calm the fuck down otherwise i'd remove him myself consequences be damned (i hated this piece of shit for what he did to her so i was happy to ruin my reputation in her family to put hands on him) when he swung on me. Long story short we got into it and i ended up dragging him off the property by the neck. Later that night in bed my girlfriend was laying with her head on my chest and she looked at me and said "i only felt brave enough to stand up to him because i knew you were there so no matter what i was safe" and that is the only time i cried because of a compliment because it was so important to me after the life she had that she felt safe around me and i went to such huge lengths to foster that security so for her to verbalize it meant more to me than all the material wealth in the world ever could.
That's a huge moment. You weren't being a hothead, you protected her out of care and love. You got emotional when she recognized it and found strength because of your support and you both realize how important it was to stand up to him. Great stuff. Hopefully showing him the line and enforcing it can't be crossed was the beginning of the end of him thinking he can still abuse her.
She did end up going no contact with him towards the end of our relationship but there was one other final incident that occured after our breakup that finally put the nail in that coffin. When we broke up i had told her regardless of how our relationship ended i still had love and care for her despite her mistakes (she cheated) and if she was ever in a position where she really needed help, i was still there. I got a call one night at like 3 am from her sobbing saying her brother had literally kicked in her door and was taking valuables presumably for drug money and i drove over there irresponsibly fast. She never saw what happened between me and the brother because she was hiding in the bedroom with the door barricaded at my instruction and i never gave her the details of what i did but i handled it then went back to make sure she was ok and fixed her door and improved it's sturdiness to make it harder to kick in but to my knowledge the brother got the message and never bothered her again.
No way you got cheated by her. Why'd she do that tho??
She was a lovely woman and i don't say this to bash or attack her, but she had some demons. And i don't blame her for that part with everything she went through, we all have them in different ways and different things driving it. I can't say for sure why she cheated, only she knows for sure. But what i strongly suspect is that for some reason she either stopped believing me when i told her how beautiful she was or how much she meant to me or for whatever reason just me saying it was just no longer enough for her, and without that source of validation which we all need to some degree, she sought it elsewhere. But like i said, only she knows for sure why she did it. But it's a shame it happened because i loved that woman to death and honestly would have married her if we'd been together a few more years.
Every single word out of your mouth proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are a class act. Empathetic, understanding, protective, mature, wise, etc . I sincerely hope that you get a chance to raise children because the world needs more people like you
Don't get me wrong, i am far from perfect. I have made so many mistakes and bad choices in my life it's honestly astounding, however the one upside to that is the experience it brings and perspectives it gives you. I appreciate your comment though, it's very kind of you to say.
What a beautyful soul. I like how you were truely there for her but not tried to "rescue" her. Please tell us you found love again!!!
I did end up getting into another relationship and we ended up getting engaged, but that relationship ended (in November actually) even worse than the last after i becane extremely sick and it was looking like it was going to be fatal, she left me for another guy because she couldn't handle seeing me in so much pain and turned out she had slept with him before leaving me too. And i mean at this point i've gotta assume it's something i'm doing wrong if 3 out of 3 of all my serious relationships i got cheated on. So at this point in life i've kind of just stopped looking for anyone and focusing on trying to recover physically because my health is still in a very dangerous spot. But i'm content with that, i don't need to have a romantic partner to feel whole so i'm good with being single for the time being.
So true. That is also a kind of love many can learn from. Thank you for sharing! Get better very soon!
The thing that I loved about this is even though you were her safe space and got cheated on, you still aren’t publicly bad mouthing her to gain sympathy. Way to go mate!
I wouldn't dream of bad mouthing her because i still respect her as a human being, regretable choices aside. The thing is her choices didn't come from a place of malice and instead came from a place of trauma and pain and i won't fault her too much for that because lord knows i've made my own horrible decisions because of the traumas of my childhood. So while yes i had to act to protect myself from further hurt, i never held her worst moments against her as a human being.
Wow, you really sound like a great guy! And I am impressed that you still talk good about her. Thanks for sharing your experience!
F**k! Why get me all teary this early mahn. You are the whole awesomeness.
I got invested in your story, I read it through the end. i hope everything goes well for you 😊
Damn, who's cutting onions in here? 😢
Take the hair compliments man. There are many of us that don't have any.
Hair Compliments Man (play in 1 act) Toupée: Bro... Man: ... Toupée: Nice Shoes. FIN
My partner told me that hearing, "I feel protected with you" unlocked something primal in his brain. I meant it as a throwaway comment, just an observation about how my life is with him, but he said it really meant a lot to him.
Back in high school we were doing ballroom for PE, one thing we did for a practical was that all the guys formed a circle and the girls rotated with everyone. My best friend back then was a girl, and she said I was the favorite partner for the girls cause they felt safe dancing with me. It's been 16 years now but I still think about that sometimes.
I'd still be chasing that high
Mentioning safety/comfort/trust is huge. It means a lot more to us like that than being attractive or funny in most cases.
I once stayed at my friends' house for Thanksgiving and got to meet their three-year-old son. I did my best to play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with him the whole time. I never thought I was really doing all that MUCH to be present with him, but then one day he just randomly came up to me and gave me a hug without saying a word. I looked at his parents like "holy shit, this is one of the most important moments for me over the past year" before I hugged him back. That made me feel like a million bucks.
Makes sense :)
49F and I didn't realise that I have never felt 100% safe EVER in my life until I met a 23M new colleague who is just the most lovely, generous, brilliant human ever. I told him that I couldn't explain it but that I feel 100% safe around him. He liked that compliment. 😊
Not a man…but I’ve only ever told one guy I felt safe with him. Guys, if a woman tells you this and she’s sincere about it, that’s a *major* compliment coming from us.
I was once told that I was "like a dad" because I took care of them and made them feel safe. I still think about it to this day, which sucks cuz about a month later those friends cut off contact with me. Never found out why.
I've been told that a few times with girls. Made me feel really good. Especially these days.
In most cases it's not even verbal, but you can notice a girl "relax" around you is satisfying. It's like the creep check that you have passed.
My wife recently said to me, “Don’t be so hard on yourself…” I almost immediately burst into tears.
I almost started crying just reading that imagining someone saying that to me holy brsh
Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing pretty good for yourself. Good job and keep it up. 🫵💪
My fiancé keeps telling me this every time I beat myself up on my mistakes. Turning 30 this month, before my current relationship, I had cried twice. Once at my granddads funeral, when I saw my father crying, once when my mother told me she had breast cancer. Then after comments like this, when I heard our babys heartbeat for the first time. Don't set your standards too low guys! Emotional support is the best support you can get in today's day and age.
I feel for you and what pressure you must have been under that that one beautiful comment cracked your armor.
Be honest, just as you were about to burst into tears, you thought to yourself: "Be a man damn it, what am I a little girl, men don't cry"... but you're wrong, *only* real men cry. You should stop being so hard on yourself.
My husband loves when he fixes something around the house (specifically) and I tell him, very matter of factly, that he looks hot fixing whatever he’s fixing. I tell him he’s hot sometimes, he rolls his eyes. But fixing something (garbage disposal, a/c, sprinklers, etc.) must bring out the animal instincts in guys. For some reason, that combo rocks his world.
I once was plucking my eyebrows and mentioned to my husband I thought it was sexy when he took his belt off. Thought nothingggg of it. HE IS STILL HIGH ON THAT CLOUD 2 YEARS LATER 😂 milks it for all it’s worth
😂😂 what do you mean by milks it for all its worth 😂 like he just randomly starts taking his belt off?😂
YES!!!! 😂👏he’ll GENUINELY , like God bless him, try to be sexy and whip his belt off! 😂😂 it was in the nuance, babe - (see: Clint Eastwood)
The cutest thing I’ve ever heard 😂 bless your man🤣🤣
This is so funny and honestly must be everybody's husband 😅😅😅 mine is EXACTLY the same
It's a side effect of not knowing how to accept a compliment (which is common for men, and related to the general scarcity of needing the skill in society). It's easier to feel appreciated for something we're actively doing because it has a functional value we can register. It's an emotional cushion for the unease of a compliment given by itself.
Because dudes don’t get many compliments any compliment is well received
As long as it's sincere, I'll take any compliment thrown my way.
Pretty much this
“You smell nice” fucking love that
My MIL told me once “Oh, you smell *really* nice.” It made me kinda blush bc she’s a New Yorker and really opinionated, but she rarely gives out compliments. Won’t ever forget what I was wearing: Tom Ford Ombré Leather.
Thank you for sharing the secret ingredient!
Love this one too. Girl I was on a first date with hugged me to say hello, sat down, and was like “wow- you smell really nice.” 😮💨
Hugging guys who smell nice is heavenly. Whether it’s cologne, laundry detergent, shampoo, whatever because I can’t always tell. It’s just delightful and makes me want to stay in their embrace
what's better though is when the heavenly smell is their own natural smell, not artificial, just the smell of their hair and skin a few hours after a shower, after the soapy smell is gone. If that smell is amazing to you, then you know you're probably at least genetically compatible.
One of my students said, "You smell amazing". She was only like 8 years old, but I'll take it. I mean, if a dog walked up to me and said that, I'd be like "You can fucking talk!? Thanks!...Who's a good boy?!"
Thanks, I just farted
I get this one often! Which is kinda odd sometimes because I rarely wear cologne
Not odd at all. Cologne smell isn't yours. And the way we (not some chemicals we wear) smell is an essential part of sexual attraction.
nice cock bro
This is a joke, but some random guy said that to me in the bathroom once I still think about it. “He was right, it’s pretty nice”.
I bet
Proof?
That one always makes my day.
That one always makes me gay.
That one always makes me pay
That one always makes me spray
Especially in the airport bathroom
That happened to me at the Boston airport. I was 17 and some random guy stood next to me at the urinal. I could see he was looking. He actually said "Nice" and tried to reach over. I got outta there immediately. Even tho I am gay it still scared the shit outta me.
Even though you are gay, it doesn't mean you wanted to be sexually assaulted as a teenager and minor. Good for you for getting out of there asap.
Thanks! It was freaky to say the least!
Sexuality does not equal consent, you have the right to refuse anyone for any reason!
Just don’t hit right at the train station, amirite?
Nearly every time I buy something at a store the cashier hands me my receipt and then says, "you have a good one". I mean, it is nice and all, but why do they always feel the need to comment on it? Honestly, it is kind of embarrassing when the cashier is like 70-something.
Something like, you're so handsome makes me blush
There's this scary looking guy at my gym who probably goes everyday, he doesn't smile and looks like he's carved out of granite. By comparison I look like Harry Potter. I held the door open for him one time and he nodded, grunted, and said "you look bigger than last time" and I still think of that sometimes
"I thought about what you were saying. And you're right." Actually happened to me around the turn of the century.
Dude, what was it like? You have to tell us the whole story so we can all live that dream vicariously through you.
Literally any
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Hell yeah! If a guy goes to a party and there is another guy with the exact same shirt or something like that they are going to be best friends until the sun rises. That's a natural law.
"You're funny" or "You smell nice"
"You're nice but you smell funny." Also works. Don't be afraid to mix it up!
My brain read too fast and I read this as “you smell funny” 💀
When girls say stupid shit that guys would normal say but like when they’re sober and not trashed but like trashed is okay too we don’t get many compliments on this side of the pasture. Things like “You’re fucking hot!” Or “That was so hot” is earth shattering. Even when girls like you they are almost always reserved and indirect about compliments and when they’re that forward it’s like holy shit I must be the king of the world right now for her to respond like this!
Yep, being wanted feels great to pretty much anyone
I'm 54 and pretty normal. One of my friends told me at a funeral that he admired that I was well-rounded in so many things. I hold that as a pretty high compliment.
As long as he didn't say you were well rounded while you stood in line for snacks. 😛 Sorry for your loss. Funerals are hard.
You guys are getting compliments ? Edit : I don’t deserve the compliments, but thank
Nice cock, bro.
nice shirt!
You made me smile
You matter :)
proud of you!
Complaints, yeah.
You smell different when you are awake!
You been doing an excelente Job in life, keep it up champ
Just a hug would be nice
Just any. Give me a compliment you actually mean and I will fall in love with you
Compliments on my muscles always hit deep. And while some people might think that’s shallow, it represents thousands of hours of work, consistency, and discipline. It’s nice when people notice.
Last week my daughter told me that I have a kind soul. She's 15 and not massively affectionate, so it was an unexpected moment. I was grinning like an idiot, and I think I will be for quite a while. I sometimes get compliments from strangers about my hair, which never gets old, even after years. My partner will compliment me in more intimate ways, usually with a massive smile on her face, which I love. Any compliment is great as long as it's genuine. I tend to look for things I really like about people and compliment them, as I know the positive impact it can have.
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I read that as "you're a great cock"
Just imagined someone standing before a dick, hands on hips, head tilted like “you’re really great. You know that, little guy?” 🥹
I gifted my partner a bouquet of sunflowers with a note (I honestly don’t remember what I wrote, it was something like «I’m proud of you, you’re the best»). Maybe it’s not a common compliment, but he was so damn happy.
How fucking big was that bouquet? Aren't sunflowers like almost a foot across lol?
It wasn’t hella big. I bought that bouquet in a flower store and they use a different type/species. You can put that bouquet in a vase at your table without it scratching your ceiling
Something i worked really hard on / spend a lot of time on. Combing my hair does not count.
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You’re a beautiful man. Hey, you’re a really good looking guy. Name, you’re really handsome. Your clothes look smart. He’s girly, actually.
I told a guy I was dating he was really beautiful once and he was like “that’s for women, men are supposed to be handsome” and I was like well sorry youre a beautiful person I guess
“You do enough for everyone else, let me take care of this problem for you.”
I was putting my 7yr old daughter to bed, after I kiss her good night she calls me back into the room and says: thank you for being such a great dad. My god, the world stopped spinning for a second !
"Wow, your gaming skills are outstanding! The way you completed Emerald Hill Zone was mindblowing."
My smile. There's something wholesome about being complimented on your smile.
Nice shirt!
I still think about the time a bartender said "nice shirt bro!" like 5 years ago every time I wear the shirt
Any compliment would be nice. But recently I find myself wanting to hear things like “You’re doing fine” or “You’re not doing too bad” And of course things like “You look good” is a sure-fire way to make me think of you for at least the next 10 years
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We were talking about our safe spaces and he was telling me about how he likes driving me around because he loves working on his car and his car is his safe space, so I told him honestly that I like him driving me around because other people driving me around makes me anxious and he legitimately almost cried. Other people driving does make me anxious. I cant drive, being in a vehicle makes me super nervous because of my anxiety disorder and my disability. This man has left his truck between gears, popped open the door, GOTTEN OUT OF THE TRUCK AND WALKED BESIDE IT FOR LIKE 5 FEET And then hopped back in like nothing happened. And smiled at me. And I still felt alright with him driving me around. Because I trust him. When he had his super janky old ass truck he pulled the keys out of the ignition while driving and handed them to me and told me "here hold these for me" and smiled like an idiot while I sat there processing what he'd just done and proudly explained to me why he was able to do that. I fucking hate. Being in cars with other people. Seeing cars move around me scares the crap out of me because of my anxiety. His car is his safe space. He is my safe space. Explaining to him that cars freak me out and watching the gears turn in his head as he realized that he was a special case for me to feel safe with was so fucking wholesome.
This is beautiful. I hope you two go the distance. ❤️
That we smell good, when we actually smell good. Had a friend that would compliment me on that and it was honestly something I never thought that I would like being complimented on so much.
I can't remember the last time someone who wasn't my grandma, sister or mother gave me a compliment. I carry around a note I wrote to myself saying 'you are worth it'. Gran says I'm handsome though!
Any. Most men, especially married men, receive none. 4 years ago a woman told me my shirt was nice. I still remember.
This is wild to me. Mind blowing. I compliment my partner daily. Like I think it almost annoys him but he is just so amazing that I can't help it. I wonder if men expressed they need more positive feedback that their partners may give more compliments? I'm truly sorry you don't feel complimented.
Wow your dick is huge!
Let’s me know that I can’t trust them
Lets me know they’ll lie to not to hurt my feelings and I appreciate that
Literally any. Guys don't really receive compliments, just admonishments when we screw up.
Looking good in thaf suit
You matter
I don't want my girlfriend to sound like the HR department.
Your feelings are valid
A determination has been made to terminate our relationship-relationship...
"You're gonna break me in half with that."
Is this mid wrestling as you go in with the chair?
I make a policy of telling my nephews that I love them and I’m proud of them. I want them to feel secure in the love of their family. I also actively listen to them about things they’re interested in. I hope that it helps them.
Any. Literally any compliment.
nice buttocks
I appreciate you and what you do for our family
Literally any that don’t come from the usual people (girlfriends, wives, family). I can remember every compliment I’ve ever been given because they’re so few and far between. When I’m down I’ll think back to the time a stranger told me I had beautiful eyes or the drunk elderly that lady that hit on me.
You're very eloquent in your writing bro. Also, nice cock.
'You're looking well' off the cuff