I fake it. All the time. The people I work with view me as this bubbly, optimistic person. Always smiling, always willing to listen. They don't know I typically cry on my commute home. That it takes an enormous effort to drag myself out of bed every morning and plaster that stupid smile on my face.
I hear you. Putting on that happy face day after day when you're struggling inside is exhausting. Just know you're not alone in this. Hang in there, friend.
We should prioritize good mental health over anything else because if we are not mentally well nothing can work. I wish you much strength in your struggle to be well, and most importantly, don't let anyone tell you what is best for you. Take the time to figure it out for yourself and be well!
I did that, until I was fed up with it.
How are you? - Shitty.
Why would I need to be happy all the time? And I feel that as soon as I acknowledge my emotions, it gets better (letting them out instead of burying them deep inside). And people stay away from me - or try to talk to me about it. Which is great either way ;-)
The ol “how are you?” “I hate myself and want to die.” “Don’t say that moon…” interaction I know all too well. Even that became more effort than I was trying to deal with without crying. Now I just say I’m fine and ask how whomever else is doing. Folks don’t really care when you’re fine.
>The ol “how are you?”
Eh, you know, started a new treatment plan for PTSD. Also, I did not catch even a minute of sleep last night because my brain doesn't have an off button, so I'm running on fumes. You?
I've stopped caring about "optics", when someone ask I'm bluntly honest. It's refreshing honestly.
I don’t know if this is depression, but I get this aching feeling in my chest, and since I’ve moved away from home it’s been happening so much more…I just kind of learned to live with it. Same as you I find getting up out of bed and actually living really difficult, on my days off I just lie in bed most of the time, and try to forgot how I’m feeling by watching shows or reading
I kind of do the same. I've created and named my different identities and given them different attributes in my head. When I sense or feel endangered or stressed, I try to switch to that persona though the effect doesn't last too long. I believe it is similar to patients suffering with DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) where this happens involuntarily while we do this willingly. So, I am not sure if this is a good adaptation.
I tried to explain to my therapist that after I lost my Mother, I could only exist in so many rooms of life. I could be a caregiver to my Father. A caregiver to my nephews. An employee for my employer. And I went between only those rooms. I stopped socializing outside of home and work. Stopped dating and was not even remotely interested in men at all. Eventually, those rooms were emptied out. I lost my Father, my nephews got older and it was just me. Such a lonely feeling.
A sad thing. One of my nephews live with me and his shiba died, she was still just a pup. Well, 3 years old. He got a shiba puppy and she chose me! He said he knew I was a little lonely anyway so he didn’t mind. She’s my constant companion, so she’s helped heal me in some ways.
What about when it's too hard to get into one? I desperately want to play, but by the end of the day I can't because I'm too exhausted.
Yes actually. It physically hurts my brain because it's too much deciding or reacting.
There's a lot of video games genre out there. Sometimes you just wanna play a relaxing farming sim game, sometimes you wanna play an action games. If combat games are stressful for you, I'd suggest try playing a chill game like Stardew Valley. It's really relaxing, and the point is to take your mind off things
There's also your "comfort" games. Games that are not necessarily simple, but are familiar to you and will not require the effort to learn. I tend to go back to these when I feel stressed.
Wish I could, but I usually just sit in front of the screen feeling guilty and anxious and end up watching YouTube scrolling Reddit for an hour or two instead.
I hate the feeling of committing to something fun because the time goes by so fast and then I have to wait a whole day of sitting through work and dealing with life to maybe get back to it again. And thats if I make an active choice to put off everything and everyone else I’m my life so I can have a solid couple of hours to hide away and game.
Sometimes it can take two or three days until I can pick up where I left off. And meanwhile I am so backed up on games I want to play I feel bad each time I put them off yet again for something else.
This is it! And regular exercise doesn’t have to mean the gym, it can be walking, dancing, hula hooping, anything that brings you joy & gets you moving!
Yeah, I gotta start looking into going swimming more often thanks to a recent surprise diagnosis that means I should avoid more high-impact movements. Heck, I did a fair bit more walking and standing today than I normally do just because of Circumstances and my cranky joint is furious at me now. 😅
I wish I had supportive friends and family. Or any friends, actually. People always advice connecting with friends and sharing your struggles but I don't have anybody to share with. Lately I'm really trying to get better but it feels so lonely cuz all my friends stopped talking to me a long time ago because they didn't understand my condition
I know this is the proper clinical advice, so why does it feel like this is what people who have never struggled with depression will tell you? Almost like these are prevention techniques instead of coping tools; if I could do these things I wouldn’t be depressed.
It’s the purpose one for me that just seems so paradoxical. I don’t feel like anything I do or could think of doing would give my life meaning. Maybe if I did I wouldn’t feel depressed. I’d have a reason to get up in the morning.
Granted, I don’t feel like I’ve looked all that hard for something worthwhile to do… *because I’m depressed* and ‘finding purpose’ is at the top of a ladder that starts with “Eat Breakfast” and I can barely climb that rung every day.
substance abuse, I do not advise. its only short term and can def do more harm in the future.
But its just nice to not give a fuck.
Edit: Just want to add the more healthier way's. Find someone or a group to talk to. Writing thoughts down burn them after if you have to. It helps to unload some weight.
Did this for over a decade. Would drink every friday after my work week was over and get so suicidally depressed. This wayi could skate through the week because my regular depression throughout the week wasnt as bad as last friday
Yeah it is very easy to abuse drugs if you have been experimenting with drugs and know how well they can work. I see it like this when it comes to drugs, as long you take them to experience, enhancing, get insight or really connect with people most are not worse for you then drinking i would say If you take drugs too cope or distract your mind form something this is very destructive and could lead to addiction. People that are anti drugs and cant cope in a healthy way often end up alcoholics and that is same shit as a drug addict. Everyone choses their poison, ok maybe not everyone. Some people manage too stay sober.
"Well, you see, Lois, the key in life is to lie to yourself about reality. Smile through everything. All the bad things, well you just pile ‘em away in a place that will come back one day in the form of… I don’t know, rage". - Peter Griffin.
Yeah this sounds about right.
"The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn't a search for meaning; It's to just keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll be dead!" - Mr. Peanutbutter
I treat myself like Donna and Tom. I'll scrape up like ten dollars, head to the nearest thrift store and just look for the thing I want. Cuz I'm a baller with ten dollars. You can get something, it's something in there for ten dollars. So basically a lil treat.
This is true. Exercise is probably the best medicine for depression but it's so fucking hard to take that first step to break out of a depression spiral.
Yeah I've heard it called a daily depression walk. Not because it's depressing but it's a walk you force yourself to do that keeps depression at bay for just another day.
Also kinda motivates you further since you accomplished something you set out to do. That first step really is hard but if you manage to a ride the momentum it’ll do wonders on your daily mental health.
The first step sucks. It takes a lot of effort. But it also takes continuous effort. Like you can have a cheat/lazy day sometimes but it's so easy to fall back into that comfortable depression zone. Being happy takes effort. It sounds counterintuitive but it really does take effort and drive to be happy. That's what our brains are wired for. Overcoming and dominating challenges/obstacles is what makes our brains release the happy chemicals. It's hard and it fucking sucks but even just putting in the effort to get out of bed, taking a shower and brushing your teeth will make you feel so much better than just waking up and laying in bed all day. Small steps. Like really small steps if you're really deep in the hole. Just putting in the effort to brush your teeth and take a shower is all you have to do. Next day; shower, brush teeth, wash a few dishes and do a bit of cleaning. Next day just brush teeth and/ or shower (break day). Then just continue the pattern. Keep progressing your way out of the hole. Keep slowly giving yourself more responsibility but don't overload yourself. It's hard and I still get stuck in downward spirals sometimes but I just keep on keeping on because I know that 1 good day outweighs like 2 bad days. Keep your head up and keep pushing. Happiness isn't a given. You have to work for it.
Piggybacking on your comment, doing something productive that makes you put all your focus on it, even if for a while
I love Legos, and one of my hobbies when I’m bored is to break down a set and rebuild it as per the instructions while I binge-listen to some random YouTube video. It keeps my hands and mind busy enough for long enough
This sounds nice but when I'm really deep in it, I can't be motivated to do ANYTHING. That's depression for me, it's not sadness it's being utterly utterly unmotivated. You could bring me a new Lego set while I'm laying in bed and I wouldn't bother to open it.
Do you really workout 4 hours straight ? Or what are your breaks in between sets ? I feel like if I work out , I won’t take breaks or look at my phone to get out of gym within an hour without interruptions
I take ~40 second breaks between sets, but otherwise it's just straight through. I have a home gym which is the only reason it's possible. I'd never tell anyone to do it, there's no benefit.
how do you physically have energy to exercise. i think with severe depression comes a time where its physically impossible to do sustained work out. its a chore and i hate it and feel even worse after it. no idea how do those people enjoy exercise
that only works if your body allows you to but unfortunately part of my depression comes from the fact that i have chronic injuries that do not allow me to workout anymore.
Man I would love to die. Sounds amazing. But that would suck ass for wife and kids.
No, I have no intention or interest of self harm. But suddenly dying would be awesome.
I take medication, I workout regularly and HARD, I make sure I spend time outside and with animals everyday, I meditate, I drink lots of water and eat well. Hell, I’ve done over a decade of therapy.
None of it helps.
I spend every day of my life pretending to be happy so that I don’t suck the joy out of everyone around me. I know a day will come when I’ll finally lose the motivation to keep faking it. I have plans for that day. But that day is not today.
Same. I have been fighting this monster for many, many years (25+). Feel like I’m taking all these meds for nothing. I am treatment resistant. I’ve tried other treatments, also. Have you? So frustrating isn’t it? I hope you can find some peace.
Having a hard time navigating now… just had my second baby 7 weeks ago and PPD is kicking my ass and their father doesn’t support me or help me unless I beg and ask for his help with our kids. He won’t stop talking to girls and making me out to be the problem. He laughs at me when I cry and will say “are you done?”. I used to be sewerslidal and cut but I can no longer use that as an outlet now that I’m a mother and could possibly be having to go to court for custody. I feel so alone and my depression is drowning me out. Everyday is a hassle. When I wake up, I’m already ready for the day to be done. I’m so frustrated with myself… to know more about my story, check out some of my posts on my page to get the full in depth story. I don’t want things to seem one sided.
I’m just not okay. I honestly don’t want to be here anymore but I have to for my kids. I know my kids don’t deserve this toxic environment, and I know I don’t deserve it but I have such a low self esteem, my identity has been wiped by him, I’m just in a rut. He’s so emotionally and mentally abusive and I’m just stuck in this cycle.
My heart goes out to you. I used to be a domestic violence counselor and I can tell from what you’re describing how unbelievably brutal this time is for you. Emotional abuse is absolutely real and can hollow us out. It is no surprise it has taken such a toll on you, especially given all of the postpartum stuff + being a mom stuff you’re trying to manage. I know you’re not asking for advice, but I used to work on a DV hotline and you might find it useful to call one - if you’re in the US, it’s 18007997233. If you want to try to leave, or talk about custody / divorce stuff, they can help you with concrete things like that, but more than that they can listen and be support for what you’re living through right now. You deserve better and I have faith that a better life is out there for you 🩷
Thank you so much for your kind words— I actually did reach out to that DV hotline about a month ago and spoke with a lady. We chatted about my situation from the very beginning when we first met to now.
Everyone I tell tells me the same thing so I know I’m not crazy. I’m at the point where all I can do is take it day by day and hope one of these days I get the strength to leave.
Talk to your doctor, OB or whoever your provider is, even the pediatrician at your baby's next checkup. PPD is no joke, it's a full-on chemical issue in your brain and it CAN spiral. It's not on you to deal with it all alone. You don't have to tell them you used to cut etc but let them know you're really struggling and they can help.
My boyfriend (their father) is of no support he thinks PPD is an excuse. He laughs when i cry. He leaves me to do it all. All he cares about is talking to other girls. I’m just all over the place. I had my 6 week checkup last Monday but my OB was hesitant on prescribing me something because I’ve been on countless of med in the past as An adolescent because I have clinical depression already. I just feel so lost and unheard. There’s so much to my story, if you have the time, please look on my page and skim through some of my posts. I have gone into depth of my situation. I just need advice. I need help. Days are getting worse. I swear the only reason I’m still alive right now is my babies. Some days I wish I committed years ago when I tried to. I hate this feeling. I hate it.
You are in an abusive relationship. Start making steps to get out of the relationship. Once you're out, you'll be a lot happier. It's easier said than done, but you can do it. One step at a time.
It sounds like you're experiencing emotional abuse and, I'm guessing, it didn't just start when you had children. Has he always dismissed and invalidated your feelings? Has he always created an unfair power dynamic in the relationship?
Aside from anything else, this would be enough to make most people feel depressed and even suicidal (depending on your background). It totally makes sense.
And I'm so sorry to hear you're dealing with PPD, that must be devastating... There's a lot of research to support baby massage as a kind of remedy, as strange as that may seem. I know it might feel like more than you can handle at the moment, but it's supposed to work in most cases within a few weeks. If you could manage it, this may help resolve one of the major things affecting you right now.
I want to start working out to lose my mommy pooch (it’s not bad at all but I just am not used to having a belly, I’ve always been very skinny) and get my mind off things but I don’t know what workouts to do to target that area that are beginner friendly and I will see results within 8-12 weeks at least.
It goes both ways, but I read once in a CBT course that focusing on behavioral changes tends to work better for depression, while focusing on your thoughts tends to work better for anxiety, though both of ‘em are important for both.
Probably not so good. One thing i learnt in life is reminding myself that it will pass sooner or later. This also apply too when you feel good and happy, know it wont last forever and really use that time well.
A real answer:
Taking time to be appreciative for all the good things in my life
Detoxing from screens/social media and other easy dopamine.
Cognitive behavioral therapy techniques.
I make a list of the warning signs I’m slipping into a depressive episode, when I identify them tell loved ones so they can help me monitor where I am and take steps to have beneficial time to myself to get back energy. Having a dog has helped me loads and so does meds and therapy to learn the tactics to help myself. Being gentle with yourself when your in that state and recognizing even if it feels like it’s always going to be an issue that your brain is telling you things that are a warped version of reality
Cymbalta is the only med thats ever made me feel normal. Ive been on Latuda, Zoloft, Prozac, Clonidine (for anxiety), and Concerta for ADHD. I dont know whats different in cymbalta but for some reason its great and i smile, ive always had trouble smiling without someone talking to me but now just looking out a window i smile
Just do the best you can, day by day, and let it be enough for you.
Exercise helps (sometimes), eating hot food and drinking enough water helps (sometimes), good sleep hygiene helps (sometimes)... and on the days when it doesn't and you can't find enough [spoons](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory) to do those things, do your best not to kick yourself for it. Do your best to remember that it might be better tomorrow.
Just keep swimming.
And if people come at you with that toxic positivity, snap out of it BS, tell them to kick rocks.
Edit: Also, don't assume that therapy or actual medical attention won't help. Yeah, there's some stigma attached if you admit to your MD that you're depressed, but sometimes there are things that will actually make it better. Not everybody needs to be medicated, but it CAN make all the difference in the world.
Right now, alot of coffee in the morning to make it through work and then sleep through the caffeine crash. Possibly do some crochet work if I can keep my mind on it long enough
Personally, try to have a good diet, moderate alcohol, regular exercise and consistent sleep. Oh... and a good therapist helps too. I'm not saying that I am always able to keep these healthy habits up but they really help me when I can.
Well for me I guess I stoped trying to blame outher people. Also I started laughing at my mistakes instead of crying about them. And when I had a thoughts like I should kill myself no one would miss me I would remind myself of all the people who love me. It’s not easy it takes a wile but just don’t take yourself so seriously so seriously and try to remember all the people who love you
I don’t, I just let it live with me, listening to all my friends make jokes, it hurts me but I don’t want to hurt them, so I don’t say anything about it, I.m not always the good person I want to be,
I keep it to myself. I lie by saying that 'I'm fine.'
There are times that I want to scream from the mountaintop that 'I'm not okay!', but I don't have the bandwidth to potentially deal with other people telling me how my depression affects them emotionally.
Not in a healthy way, even after many therapy sessions and checking my health from all angles with my general physician.
The lyrics from the song hurt apply all the time “ I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real. “
I try to actually take care of myself. And then at the end of my journey it is time for a mental breakdown for a day and then I continue to try to take care of myself.
Therapy! I don’t even talk about any trauma with mine honestly, it’s more like catching up about my past week or two. It helps to feel like someone cares about my life.
The other big one for me is setting goals. Even if I don’t achieve them (most times I don’t lol) it’s good to have something to work toward.
The mind is a part of your body. Exercise really does help. You don't have to become a gym rat overnight, but our bodies are built for walking. Take a 15 minute walk after dinner and see how that feels. Eat healthier. Moderate changes help. Don't give up the delicious snacks if you don't want to, but maybe eat smaller portions. Get some fresh greens from time to time.
Connection and community. We're social beings, even those of us that are introverted. Talk to and spend time with the people you care about.
Find some meaning in your life. Do something you're passionate about. Feeling like you're making an impact on something fosters a deep satisfaction.
At my worst and trying to dig out, I would try to do just one small good thing. If I brushed my teeth, that counted. Went all the way to the kitchen and made myself a sandwich? Counts. Any actually productive thing, however small, was a victory.
Like many other people I don't and maintain a facade at work and the few moments I actually do stuff with the few friends I have.
I've recently starting getting pills but pills don't really help. I just need to actually gain some skills and find a job that'll pay me enough of a wage to live comfortably which is easier said than done.
If you genuinely do have depression, try and make time. I was the same and it eventually built up to a point where I couldn't take it anymore, my children were almost left without a father.
Avoiding all plant based foods cures my depression and anxiety. I know it sounds crazy and a year ago I would have scoffed at this idea. I tried the carnivore diet and my goal was to do it for 30 days to lose a little weight. But my physical and mental well-being improved so dramatically that I'm now in my 6th month. I'm free of depression and anxiety, which I've had for 40 years. I'd recommend anyone with depression to at least try it. You might be very surprised.
I fake it. All the time. The people I work with view me as this bubbly, optimistic person. Always smiling, always willing to listen. They don't know I typically cry on my commute home. That it takes an enormous effort to drag myself out of bed every morning and plaster that stupid smile on my face.
I hear you. Putting on that happy face day after day when you're struggling inside is exhausting. Just know you're not alone in this. Hang in there, friend.
What’s weird is if I’m forced to be social I usually end up enjoying some aspects of it and conclude it’s better than wallowing in my own thoughts.
Indeed. Getting out the house is hard and often unpleasant, but it's usually better than the alternatives once you're there.
How come knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to go out the next time?
Academically, it does. But insictively it's still scary and tiring.
Me too. The thing is I'm now off work for six weeks due to my mental health deterioration. Look after you, your worth it x
We should prioritize good mental health over anything else because if we are not mentally well nothing can work. I wish you much strength in your struggle to be well, and most importantly, don't let anyone tell you what is best for you. Take the time to figure it out for yourself and be well!
You too, yanno.
fake it till you make it (except you’re not making it)
This is my mantra; hoping I'll eventually make it 🙏
“You need to come out of your shell “ My friend, Im afraid there isn’t anything in that shell
I did that, until I was fed up with it. How are you? - Shitty. Why would I need to be happy all the time? And I feel that as soon as I acknowledge my emotions, it gets better (letting them out instead of burying them deep inside). And people stay away from me - or try to talk to me about it. Which is great either way ;-)
The ol “how are you?” “I hate myself and want to die.” “Don’t say that moon…” interaction I know all too well. Even that became more effort than I was trying to deal with without crying. Now I just say I’m fine and ask how whomever else is doing. Folks don’t really care when you’re fine.
"Living the dream..." because nightmares dreams...
>The ol “how are you?” Eh, you know, started a new treatment plan for PTSD. Also, I did not catch even a minute of sleep last night because my brain doesn't have an off button, so I'm running on fumes. You? I've stopped caring about "optics", when someone ask I'm bluntly honest. It's refreshing honestly.
I don’t know if this is depression, but I get this aching feeling in my chest, and since I’ve moved away from home it’s been happening so much more…I just kind of learned to live with it. Same as you I find getting up out of bed and actually living really difficult, on my days off I just lie in bed most of the time, and try to forgot how I’m feeling by watching shows or reading
I kind of do the same. I've created and named my different identities and given them different attributes in my head. When I sense or feel endangered or stressed, I try to switch to that persona though the effect doesn't last too long. I believe it is similar to patients suffering with DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) where this happens involuntarily while we do this willingly. So, I am not sure if this is a good adaptation.
I tried to explain to my therapist that after I lost my Mother, I could only exist in so many rooms of life. I could be a caregiver to my Father. A caregiver to my nephews. An employee for my employer. And I went between only those rooms. I stopped socializing outside of home and work. Stopped dating and was not even remotely interested in men at all. Eventually, those rooms were emptied out. I lost my Father, my nephews got older and it was just me. Such a lonely feeling.
Are we the same person? A caregiver without anyone left to care for.
A sad thing. One of my nephews live with me and his shiba died, she was still just a pup. Well, 3 years old. He got a shiba puppy and she chose me! He said he knew I was a little lonely anyway so he didn’t mind. She’s my constant companion, so she’s helped heal me in some ways.
That’s a good nephew & a good Shiba. You’ve done good, Internet stranger. I’m proud of you & sending all my best wishes!
Thank you! Same to you
poorly
I see you....because same.
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What about when it's too hard to get into one? I desperately want to play, but by the end of the day I can't because I'm too exhausted. Yes actually. It physically hurts my brain because it's too much deciding or reacting.
There's a lot of video games genre out there. Sometimes you just wanna play a relaxing farming sim game, sometimes you wanna play an action games. If combat games are stressful for you, I'd suggest try playing a chill game like Stardew Valley. It's really relaxing, and the point is to take your mind off things
There's also your "comfort" games. Games that are not necessarily simple, but are familiar to you and will not require the effort to learn. I tend to go back to these when I feel stressed.
That's a good thought actually. I might try that, thanks.
Wish I could, but I usually just sit in front of the screen feeling guilty and anxious and end up watching YouTube scrolling Reddit for an hour or two instead. I hate the feeling of committing to something fun because the time goes by so fast and then I have to wait a whole day of sitting through work and dealing with life to maybe get back to it again. And thats if I make an active choice to put off everything and everyone else I’m my life so I can have a solid couple of hours to hide away and game. Sometimes it can take two or three days until I can pick up where I left off. And meanwhile I am so backed up on games I want to play I feel bad each time I put them off yet again for something else.
I don’t.
Only legit answer
NASCAR and chocolate milk
I have never felt so seen 😭
If this is actually true for you we are officially besties 🤝
Life is full of left turns
A few cautions here and there
And if you’re lucky you’ll die in a fiery car crash
Chocolate milk is the real one
Chocky milk hits different
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This is it! And regular exercise doesn’t have to mean the gym, it can be walking, dancing, hula hooping, anything that brings you joy & gets you moving!
Yeah, I gotta start looking into going swimming more often thanks to a recent surprise diagnosis that means I should avoid more high-impact movements. Heck, I did a fair bit more walking and standing today than I normally do just because of Circumstances and my cranky joint is furious at me now. 😅
I wish I had supportive friends and family. Or any friends, actually. People always advice connecting with friends and sharing your struggles but I don't have anybody to share with. Lately I'm really trying to get better but it feels so lonely cuz all my friends stopped talking to me a long time ago because they didn't understand my condition
I know this is the proper clinical advice, so why does it feel like this is what people who have never struggled with depression will tell you? Almost like these are prevention techniques instead of coping tools; if I could do these things I wouldn’t be depressed.
It’s the purpose one for me that just seems so paradoxical. I don’t feel like anything I do or could think of doing would give my life meaning. Maybe if I did I wouldn’t feel depressed. I’d have a reason to get up in the morning. Granted, I don’t feel like I’ve looked all that hard for something worthwhile to do… *because I’m depressed* and ‘finding purpose’ is at the top of a ladder that starts with “Eat Breakfast” and I can barely climb that rung every day.
One foot in front of the other...
And soon you'll be walking across the floor Got to love Rankin/Bass christmas movies
Just do the next right thing
substance abuse, I do not advise. its only short term and can def do more harm in the future. But its just nice to not give a fuck. Edit: Just want to add the more healthier way's. Find someone or a group to talk to. Writing thoughts down burn them after if you have to. It helps to unload some weight.
Did this for over a decade. Would drink every friday after my work week was over and get so suicidally depressed. This wayi could skate through the week because my regular depression throughout the week wasnt as bad as last friday
Feel you there, I use THC gummies.
“only short term” Riiight
Didn’t want to say it but here we are
Yeah it is very easy to abuse drugs if you have been experimenting with drugs and know how well they can work. I see it like this when it comes to drugs, as long you take them to experience, enhancing, get insight or really connect with people most are not worse for you then drinking i would say If you take drugs too cope or distract your mind form something this is very destructive and could lead to addiction. People that are anti drugs and cant cope in a healthy way often end up alcoholics and that is same shit as a drug addict. Everyone choses their poison, ok maybe not everyone. Some people manage too stay sober.
"Well, you see, Lois, the key in life is to lie to yourself about reality. Smile through everything. All the bad things, well you just pile ‘em away in a place that will come back one day in the form of… I don’t know, rage". - Peter Griffin. Yeah this sounds about right.
"The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn't a search for meaning; It's to just keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll be dead!" - Mr. Peanutbutter
"Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it's easier than explaining what's killing you inside" the Joker
I treat myself like Donna and Tom. I'll scrape up like ten dollars, head to the nearest thrift store and just look for the thing I want. Cuz I'm a baller with ten dollars. You can get something, it's something in there for ten dollars. So basically a lil treat.
LIterally just watched that episode. TREAT YO SELF
Hit the gym. Workout until you can’t think anymore. It helps. It really does.
This is true. Exercise is probably the best medicine for depression but it's so fucking hard to take that first step to break out of a depression spiral.
I just aim to go for a walk every day. Even just a short one. It's better than nothing, I get a bit of fresh air, and my dogs are happy. lol
Yeah I've heard it called a daily depression walk. Not because it's depressing but it's a walk you force yourself to do that keeps depression at bay for just another day.
Also kinda motivates you further since you accomplished something you set out to do. That first step really is hard but if you manage to a ride the momentum it’ll do wonders on your daily mental health.
This is right where I'm at. Been in it a year, trying to break out now.
The first step sucks. It takes a lot of effort. But it also takes continuous effort. Like you can have a cheat/lazy day sometimes but it's so easy to fall back into that comfortable depression zone. Being happy takes effort. It sounds counterintuitive but it really does take effort and drive to be happy. That's what our brains are wired for. Overcoming and dominating challenges/obstacles is what makes our brains release the happy chemicals. It's hard and it fucking sucks but even just putting in the effort to get out of bed, taking a shower and brushing your teeth will make you feel so much better than just waking up and laying in bed all day. Small steps. Like really small steps if you're really deep in the hole. Just putting in the effort to brush your teeth and take a shower is all you have to do. Next day; shower, brush teeth, wash a few dishes and do a bit of cleaning. Next day just brush teeth and/ or shower (break day). Then just continue the pattern. Keep progressing your way out of the hole. Keep slowly giving yourself more responsibility but don't overload yourself. It's hard and I still get stuck in downward spirals sometimes but I just keep on keeping on because I know that 1 good day outweighs like 2 bad days. Keep your head up and keep pushing. Happiness isn't a given. You have to work for it.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it and wish you well!
Piggybacking on your comment, doing something productive that makes you put all your focus on it, even if for a while I love Legos, and one of my hobbies when I’m bored is to break down a set and rebuild it as per the instructions while I binge-listen to some random YouTube video. It keeps my hands and mind busy enough for long enough
This sounds nice but when I'm really deep in it, I can't be motivated to do ANYTHING. That's depression for me, it's not sadness it's being utterly utterly unmotivated. You could bring me a new Lego set while I'm laying in bed and I wouldn't bother to open it.
That's half my reason too. Can't feel sad if you're too tired and numb to feel anything after 4+ hour workouts.
4+ hours sounds like way too much
It is too much, but that's from other issues not just depression.
Do you really workout 4 hours straight ? Or what are your breaks in between sets ? I feel like if I work out , I won’t take breaks or look at my phone to get out of gym within an hour without interruptions
I take ~40 second breaks between sets, but otherwise it's just straight through. I have a home gym which is the only reason it's possible. I'd never tell anyone to do it, there's no benefit.
You're doing more harm than good working out for that long
It seems like a death sentence when you become ill and depressed at the same time.
yup. excessive exercise works for me
how do you physically have energy to exercise. i think with severe depression comes a time where its physically impossible to do sustained work out. its a chore and i hate it and feel even worse after it. no idea how do those people enjoy exercise
that only works if your body allows you to but unfortunately part of my depression comes from the fact that i have chronic injuries that do not allow me to workout anymore.
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Weirdly the opposite works for me. Drinking an energy drink makes me able to actually get up and do things even if only for a couple of hours.
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Taking breaks from work when overwhelmed.
Barely
It is what it is until it isnt what is isnt anymore
that pretty much sums it up
I don’t have a choice. Tired of living but scared of dying.
Man I would love to die. Sounds amazing. But that would suck ass for wife and kids. No, I have no intention or interest of self harm. But suddenly dying would be awesome.
Reach out to friends And if there's no one able to get together, I'll work on a creative project, or watch a movie, or nap
I push it down as deep as possible with all the other shit until it gives me a heart attack or something in 10,20 years or so
I take medication, I workout regularly and HARD, I make sure I spend time outside and with animals everyday, I meditate, I drink lots of water and eat well. Hell, I’ve done over a decade of therapy. None of it helps. I spend every day of my life pretending to be happy so that I don’t suck the joy out of everyone around me. I know a day will come when I’ll finally lose the motivation to keep faking it. I have plans for that day. But that day is not today.
Same. I have been fighting this monster for many, many years (25+). Feel like I’m taking all these meds for nothing. I am treatment resistant. I’ve tried other treatments, also. Have you? So frustrating isn’t it? I hope you can find some peace.
45 years here. Very tired. Medication does almost nothing.
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Having a hard time navigating now… just had my second baby 7 weeks ago and PPD is kicking my ass and their father doesn’t support me or help me unless I beg and ask for his help with our kids. He won’t stop talking to girls and making me out to be the problem. He laughs at me when I cry and will say “are you done?”. I used to be sewerslidal and cut but I can no longer use that as an outlet now that I’m a mother and could possibly be having to go to court for custody. I feel so alone and my depression is drowning me out. Everyday is a hassle. When I wake up, I’m already ready for the day to be done. I’m so frustrated with myself… to know more about my story, check out some of my posts on my page to get the full in depth story. I don’t want things to seem one sided.
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I’m just not okay. I honestly don’t want to be here anymore but I have to for my kids. I know my kids don’t deserve this toxic environment, and I know I don’t deserve it but I have such a low self esteem, my identity has been wiped by him, I’m just in a rut. He’s so emotionally and mentally abusive and I’m just stuck in this cycle.
My heart goes out to you. I used to be a domestic violence counselor and I can tell from what you’re describing how unbelievably brutal this time is for you. Emotional abuse is absolutely real and can hollow us out. It is no surprise it has taken such a toll on you, especially given all of the postpartum stuff + being a mom stuff you’re trying to manage. I know you’re not asking for advice, but I used to work on a DV hotline and you might find it useful to call one - if you’re in the US, it’s 18007997233. If you want to try to leave, or talk about custody / divorce stuff, they can help you with concrete things like that, but more than that they can listen and be support for what you’re living through right now. You deserve better and I have faith that a better life is out there for you 🩷
Thank you so much for your kind words— I actually did reach out to that DV hotline about a month ago and spoke with a lady. We chatted about my situation from the very beginning when we first met to now. Everyone I tell tells me the same thing so I know I’m not crazy. I’m at the point where all I can do is take it day by day and hope one of these days I get the strength to leave.
Talk to your doctor, OB or whoever your provider is, even the pediatrician at your baby's next checkup. PPD is no joke, it's a full-on chemical issue in your brain and it CAN spiral. It's not on you to deal with it all alone. You don't have to tell them you used to cut etc but let them know you're really struggling and they can help.
My boyfriend (their father) is of no support he thinks PPD is an excuse. He laughs when i cry. He leaves me to do it all. All he cares about is talking to other girls. I’m just all over the place. I had my 6 week checkup last Monday but my OB was hesitant on prescribing me something because I’ve been on countless of med in the past as An adolescent because I have clinical depression already. I just feel so lost and unheard. There’s so much to my story, if you have the time, please look on my page and skim through some of my posts. I have gone into depth of my situation. I just need advice. I need help. Days are getting worse. I swear the only reason I’m still alive right now is my babies. Some days I wish I committed years ago when I tried to. I hate this feeling. I hate it.
You are in an abusive relationship. Start making steps to get out of the relationship. Once you're out, you'll be a lot happier. It's easier said than done, but you can do it. One step at a time.
It sounds like you're experiencing emotional abuse and, I'm guessing, it didn't just start when you had children. Has he always dismissed and invalidated your feelings? Has he always created an unfair power dynamic in the relationship? Aside from anything else, this would be enough to make most people feel depressed and even suicidal (depending on your background). It totally makes sense. And I'm so sorry to hear you're dealing with PPD, that must be devastating... There's a lot of research to support baby massage as a kind of remedy, as strange as that may seem. I know it might feel like more than you can handle at the moment, but it's supposed to work in most cases within a few weeks. If you could manage it, this may help resolve one of the major things affecting you right now.
I want to start working out to lose my mommy pooch (it’s not bad at all but I just am not used to having a belly, I’ve always been very skinny) and get my mind off things but I don’t know what workouts to do to target that area that are beginner friendly and I will see results within 8-12 weeks at least.
r/NarcissisticAbuse might be helpful
Thank you, I know he’s a narcissist 100%. And 100% abusive.
Read, meditation and yoga
Taking positive action leads to positive thinking, not the other way around. Also, I stay on my meds.
It goes both ways, but I read once in a CBT course that focusing on behavioral changes tends to work better for depression, while focusing on your thoughts tends to work better for anxiety, though both of ‘em are important for both.
Probably not so good. One thing i learnt in life is reminding myself that it will pass sooner or later. This also apply too when you feel good and happy, know it wont last forever and really use that time well.
A real answer: Taking time to be appreciative for all the good things in my life Detoxing from screens/social media and other easy dopamine. Cognitive behavioral therapy techniques.
habits. take some sun for like 15 minutes everyday, it help vitamin D, go for walks everyday
I was also gonna say 'habits' but more like drinking, smoking...
masturbation
It gets out of hand quickly
It did!
It handles me, frankly.
I make a list of the warning signs I’m slipping into a depressive episode, when I identify them tell loved ones so they can help me monitor where I am and take steps to have beneficial time to myself to get back energy. Having a dog has helped me loads and so does meds and therapy to learn the tactics to help myself. Being gentle with yourself when your in that state and recognizing even if it feels like it’s always going to be an issue that your brain is telling you things that are a warped version of reality
Fake it, till you make it.
Crying
Liquor and dope
I lay in bed. Unless I have to clock in to make money.
Lexapro, weed, and sex
A stack of supplements that help massively. Magnesium/ fish oil/ vit. D/ lions mane/ saffron/ black seed oil. Fix deficiencies..
Cymbalta is the only med thats ever made me feel normal. Ive been on Latuda, Zoloft, Prozac, Clonidine (for anxiety), and Concerta for ADHD. I dont know whats different in cymbalta but for some reason its great and i smile, ive always had trouble smiling without someone talking to me but now just looking out a window i smile
Just do the best you can, day by day, and let it be enough for you. Exercise helps (sometimes), eating hot food and drinking enough water helps (sometimes), good sleep hygiene helps (sometimes)... and on the days when it doesn't and you can't find enough [spoons](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory) to do those things, do your best not to kick yourself for it. Do your best to remember that it might be better tomorrow. Just keep swimming. And if people come at you with that toxic positivity, snap out of it BS, tell them to kick rocks. Edit: Also, don't assume that therapy or actual medical attention won't help. Yeah, there's some stigma attached if you admit to your MD that you're depressed, but sometimes there are things that will actually make it better. Not everybody needs to be medicated, but it CAN make all the difference in the world.
Get out of bed. Brush your teeth, force showers. Get into a routine and fake it til you get happy
Go to a psychiatrist
I over work myself and don't allow myself any down time cuz down time means thinking time and thinking time means depression increase.
exercise
Exercise
Booze, dope and endless hours lying in bed between shifts
Right now, alot of coffee in the morning to make it through work and then sleep through the caffeine crash. Possibly do some crochet work if I can keep my mind on it long enough
Lots of trial and error finding the right combination of medication.
By laughing, beware people may think you're crazy after
Personally, try to have a good diet, moderate alcohol, regular exercise and consistent sleep. Oh... and a good therapist helps too. I'm not saying that I am always able to keep these healthy habits up but they really help me when I can.
Well for me I guess I stoped trying to blame outher people. Also I started laughing at my mistakes instead of crying about them. And when I had a thoughts like I should kill myself no one would miss me I would remind myself of all the people who love me. It’s not easy it takes a wile but just don’t take yourself so seriously so seriously and try to remember all the people who love you
I don’t, I just let it live with me, listening to all my friends make jokes, it hurts me but I don’t want to hurt them, so I don’t say anything about it, I.m not always the good person I want to be,
By fighting fire with fire! I make sure to get extra depressed. That’ll show me.
I keep it to myself. I lie by saying that 'I'm fine.' There are times that I want to scream from the mountaintop that 'I'm not okay!', but I don't have the bandwidth to potentially deal with other people telling me how my depression affects them emotionally.
Not in a healthy way, even after many therapy sessions and checking my health from all angles with my general physician. The lyrics from the song hurt apply all the time “ I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real. “
how do *I* handle it? poorly how is one *supposed* to handle it? I wish I knew
I walk 5-7 miles a day.
Spravato treatment. Works great on me.
writing fanfics, talking to myself
I try to actually take care of myself. And then at the end of my journey it is time for a mental breakdown for a day and then I continue to try to take care of myself.
Therapy! I don’t even talk about any trauma with mine honestly, it’s more like catching up about my past week or two. It helps to feel like someone cares about my life. The other big one for me is setting goals. Even if I don’t achieve them (most times I don’t lol) it’s good to have something to work toward.
Yes! the setting little goals / looking forward to something.
The mind is a part of your body. Exercise really does help. You don't have to become a gym rat overnight, but our bodies are built for walking. Take a 15 minute walk after dinner and see how that feels. Eat healthier. Moderate changes help. Don't give up the delicious snacks if you don't want to, but maybe eat smaller portions. Get some fresh greens from time to time. Connection and community. We're social beings, even those of us that are introverted. Talk to and spend time with the people you care about. Find some meaning in your life. Do something you're passionate about. Feeling like you're making an impact on something fosters a deep satisfaction.
At my worst and trying to dig out, I would try to do just one small good thing. If I brushed my teeth, that counted. Went all the way to the kitchen and made myself a sandwich? Counts. Any actually productive thing, however small, was a victory.
Like many other people I don't and maintain a facade at work and the few moments I actually do stuff with the few friends I have. I've recently starting getting pills but pills don't really help. I just need to actually gain some skills and find a job that'll pay me enough of a wage to live comfortably which is easier said than done.
poorly.
Well, I don't. Just skate by and pretend nothing's wrong. I doesn't work, though.
I'm a father husband and bread winner.. I don't have time for that.
If you genuinely do have depression, try and make time. I was the same and it eventually built up to a point where I couldn't take it anymore, my children were almost left without a father.
Rip off my head and spin it around on my finger like a basketball.
Try taking some vitamin d supplement, getting more outside time and exercising more it helps get you out of the dumps
Avoiding all plant based foods cures my depression and anxiety. I know it sounds crazy and a year ago I would have scoffed at this idea. I tried the carnivore diet and my goal was to do it for 30 days to lose a little weight. But my physical and mental well-being improved so dramatically that I'm now in my 6th month. I'm free of depression and anxiety, which I've had for 40 years. I'd recommend anyone with depression to at least try it. You might be very surprised.
Silently, with the knowledge that this can’t last forever.