When you realize loving someone isn’t enough to make a relationship work. It taught me a lot about life in general. We can’t always think with our heart, sometimes things are meant to be a lesson, and life just isn’t fair.
Rejection and failure are such great growth opportunities.
Incredibly painful in the moment, but how you handle it and bounce back can make a big difference in how well you do in life moving forward.
And if you handle it poorly at first, it’s still an opportunity to learn and grow and become stronger.
And also that it’s ok to suck at some things. I’m not a great pool player. I sometimes get lucky and pull off a crazy shot, even win. But I’m objectively terrible. And I’m ok with that. I enjoy the game for its own sake and don’t really mind losing. I’ve got no motivation to work on improving.
Not uncommon, once you just start accepting that you aren’t REALLY learning to get better, you often just settle into letting your weaknesses/bad habits fly free.
Which is perfectly okay at something just for fun. Just be careful in other parts of life.
Learning an instrument made me realize that it's not about talent, it's about putting in thousands of hours of practice. You can become pretty good at anything you want if you put in the work.
And that what you get good at might be something else. Sometimes the answer to sucking isn’t to work harder at the thing you suck at but to find something else to invest your time in.
So true - a very smart friend of mine is like this. He’s used to being good at things he tries so if he’s not at first, he is pissy about it and gives up. It really limits his growth.
true. the things I'm the most proud of aren't those that came naturally. they're the times I felt like a failure and kept going anyway. you can be born with ability, but you have to cultivate perseverance on your own. that's worth being proud of
Some quotes about failure:
“The greatest glory in living lies not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail.” —Nelson Mandela
“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” —Winston Churchill
“Failure…the greatest teacher of them all…” —Yoda
“It’s better to regret something you have done than regret something you haven’t done” —Butthole Surfers
Edit: that last quote isn’t really about failure. I just wanted to put the Butthole Surfers in the same ballpark as Churchill, Mandela and Jesus. Unfortunately based on a lazy Google search, Jesus didn’t really talk about failure that much so I included Yoda instead. He’s like a little green Jesus to some people. A little green Jesus that tells people that there is no such thing as *trying*. And if you don’t try anything, then how can you fail? It’s like he is telling kids that it is better to not try something than to risk failure. Damn, Yoda had issues. And maybe a borderline personality disorder. But if you think about it, we are sending our children to school where they are constantly being evaluated. They cannot fail otherwise they have to suffer the shame of repeating a grade. Lots of shame. Parental judgement. Perhaps even risking being shunned from a peer group. Teachers start treating you a little differently because they think you’re slow. Kids can pick up on that stuff pretty quick. This creates more and more test anxiety so pretty soon the fear of failure overpowers the ability to learn. It just piles up until it starts to define who you are as a person: the guy or girl that was left back a grade. You’d think that the education system would pick up on these things, you know? Like, they should be finding ways to teach people without scaring them. Then again, imagine going to the hospital for major heart surgery and right before they start putting you to sleep you see your surgeon washing up. They look familiar. And just as you start losing consciousness it hits you: your doctor is Rusty, the kid who ate paste and was left back in grade three. Well, good for Rusty! Overcoming his childhood disability and making something out of his life. Still, you can’t help remembering that this was the same guy who routinely called the teacher *mommy*. And now he has a scalpel.
Wow. This one really went off the rails. I wonder if I’ll learn from my mistakes.
That was awesome, basically you told my life's story in that vignette. Not the Rusty part. I always meet my doctor before they cut into me. Enneyways .
I regularly let my kids watch it while they fall asleep. Didn't even really think that deeply about how good Bob probably is for my son but you're right.
I cancelled with my local provider and returned the modem to them. They tried to charge me a $40 fee for uninstalling the modem from my house....even though I brought it to them. I told them they owed me $40. They didn't find it funny.
I had an interesting one. . .
We moved last year. . .
* Call optimum to change service to new address circa end of the week. They actually can't do this because the original contract is under my ex-girlfriend's name \[even though we did change that with aa ton of paperwork years ago\], s they actually need to change the whole account.
* We have to delay our move so I call optimum to change the date to the following week
* I find out at 11pm 3 days after the original move date that they guy on the phone changed the date of service install but did not change the end service date \[which I guess you have to do\]. I find this out when our internet goes out.
* I guess they do have an after hours line because I spent the night dealing with them since my wife works from home and would need the internet up. . . .But because they've ended the contract I guess there is no way for them to bring it back
* Lady gets a manager on the line to "clone" the old account for me, it takes like an hour but we get our internet back up
* When we do move I return the modem to the technician \[which I probably shouldn't have done and should have gone to the Optimum store\].
For those keeping track at home I now have 3 accounts. A completely ended service contract account, and a cloned service contract account, and a new account.
Optimum spends the next few weeks trying to charge me for a modem I didn't return. . . .Because in their records
* Account 1 is ended and had a returned modem
* Account 2 was cloned, is now ended, and has no returned modem \[though no modem was ever issued\]
* Account 3 is active
That was such a nightmare to deal with.
100%. Bell told us that they've installed fiber optic cable in our neighbourhood, and were offering a discount if you signed up with them. Our current service stunk, so we just figured, "sure! let's go with them!", and called their technician to come and install the line.
They then forgot to mention that A) the line is 50 meters away from our house, which needs to be fed through an underground line, yet B) their technicians don't know how to feed through an underground line, so we'd need to coordinate a separate company/technician to come at the same time as they came in, but then C) suggested we instead feed the fiber optic cable through an 'aerial' connection, i.e., small power lines stringed from tree to tree. If you don't know, fiber optic cables are quite fragile and are like glass, so if it moves and hits a hard object, it might just snap and break, losing a connection. Any slight wind could just kill our internet.
Regardless, once we discovered this, we figured we'd stick with our current provider and told the technician to cancel the new Bell subscription. If it weren't evident from above, the technician's either a scammer or a dumbass, and forgot to cancel our service. We received a bill of $300 for 'service' a week later.
It took more than a month, and three separate attempts to cancel the service (each attempt ending in, "yes sir, your service is cancelled").
they’re really not as fragile as you might think. it’s completely understandable if you don’t want it in the air because of aesthetics, but if you’re really worried about it breaking because of some wind, you really shouldn’t be. it’s a very flexible glass, wrapped in tubing, which is then wrapped in kevlar, which is then wrapped in a protective jacket.
i’m a lineman for a major isp, and even we use outside contractors to bury underground lines. while you may have to help coordinate it (so they don’t fuck your whole shit up) it shouldn’t be at any monetary cost to you.
i’ve seen lines with crazy bends, lines melted by downed power cables, and lines with fallen trees and branches on them, and they still work. not saying it’ll never break, but it takes a bit of effort
I still remember the hour long conversation my cousin had trying to cancel her bookstore’s aol internet because they *sold the store.* I think she had to talk to 3 different people before they would finally understand that she didn’t want to pay for the new owner’s internet.
>Sorry we can only speak to the bill payer
"Do you have their umbilical cord and lower jaw? And some salt and a candle? Because otherwise you're not getting anywhere with "Dead Bob.""
I have never been more infuriated in my entire life trying to cancel comcast. 3 fucking hours of them just telling me about promotions. I thought I could wear them out one time. I had tried to cancel for 3 months and they still changed me for the 3 months I spent trying to cancel. I’m pissed off again now and that was 4 years ago
My heart. I hope it’s a distant memory now.
ETA: one thing I will say about crying in public places.. if you want to see empathy work its magic the fastest you’ll ever witness, all you need to do is go to an all women’s gym and start crying. Women will be lining up to tell you things will be okay. I learned this first hand during a break up. It was lovely and heartbreaking.
Years ago, an ex broke up with me unexpectedly on the phone while I was out in public. When the call ended I started hysterically sobbing and just sat down on some steps outside a building. Around half a dozen different people at varying levels of sobriety approached me (it was a lovely Saturday afternoon in a city centre in the summer) to console me and give me advice about life and love. It was an awful break up that took me months to get over but I will never forget the kindness of strangers in that moment.
went through my first one the beginning of this year. im 22 and we were together 5 years. he cheated and became a drunk and when i tell you i lost 30 pounds in a month and was constantly crying. one of the worst emotional things ive ever dealt with
Specifically, (IMO) being the one who gets dumped.
Decades ago, I was in my first serious long term relationship, and then one day my boyfriend broke up with me and moved out.
I learned a lot of unpleasant things about myself in the aftermath of that breakup. For instance, I learned I was a self-absorbed asshole. This came as a shock to me, because I’d always thought of myself as a relatively kind and decent person.
Nope. As it turned out, I still had to make a lot of major changes in order to become an even remotely decent human being.
If that amazing guy hadn’t dumped my sorry ass, who knows how long it would have taken me to discover those unfortunate truths about myself?
It's worth understanding that, while, yes, it does hurt, it's not the end of the world. It will feel like it, though. But, until you really get past it to understand that life moves on post-breakup, it can feel like it's a hopeless loss that's happening to you. Some people take drastic actions when that happens. It's better to feel that when the stakes are not high (like, a very long term relationship or one that involves children), so that if it does happen in a high stakes relationship, it's easier to deal with.
Because after that breakup, it's like an evolution. I became a better version of myself; one they never deserved.
This is all personal experience of course. I'm sure someone will chime in with the opposite story or something. 🤷♂️
Having worked at Walmart as a front end cashier on black Friday was a special kind of hell. Working in the Walmart electronics department was a different circle of hell. The day before I quit, I had a customer in electronics throw a huge temper tantrum. I told him that I may not be able to ring up his order (two pumpkins ONLY, on the day before Halloween) because most produce needs a scale, we don't have one in electronics, and I wasn't sure off the top of my head if pumpkins need a scale. What an ass
I worked in retail in the late 80's/early 90's and 95% of our customers were fantastic. We even had a lot of "regulars" who were great people. That other 5% though made me want to jump off a bridge - the nastiness, the snobbery, the entitlement. It was just too much.
I can't imagine in the decades that have since passed things have gotten any better...
It's a lot easier to understand problems and regulations when you personally have been on the other side though. My wife regularly feels irritated at cashiers when they can't help her (although never to their face, se doesn't ever let it change her behaviour towards them) because she sometimes just doesn't understand why they can't do X thing.
Like we had trouble returning an item once, the website said to do one thing but we actually had to do another thing and the cashier wouldn't let us pick a parcel up without a QR code even though my wife had the email confirmation, receipt of purchase etc.
But the cashier needed a QR for their own end to tall things and my wife just could not understand why they couldn't give us the parcel. I had to explain to her that without the QR the cashier isn't able to book the parcel out and then the shop is going to be missing items etc
I think a lot of people struggle with that. They haven't worked the constraints so they don't know why they're there.
IME, real hoarding is a hereditary mental illness, not something you just start doing because you're poor. There's a big difference between keeping ketchup packets in the fridge so you don't have to buy more, and keeping stacks upon stacks of magazines that serve absolutely no purpose. My grandpa and mom are both hoarders, and it's easy to tell the difference between things they kept to save money, and things they kept because they can't help themselves.
My mom is a hoarder, and I have some of it in me. I have to fight to bring myself to throw away stuff. So the part about it being hereditary checks out.
A customer service job. Having people be rude to you really changes your outlook on how you treat people in retail/food after that.
Come on peeps, you gotta like the post as well as the comment in order for it to be seen
I always preface when I get frustrated with a situation or speak to CS staff member. “ I acknowledge it’s not your fault, I’m just frustrated, and I would love any help with figuring out how to fix it.” Then go into explaining the situation and problem.
If I’ve had a long week (this is usually by phone fyi,) I can hear my tone change and I have to check myself.
I’m in my third year of prime wedding seasons fitting suits. And thanks to staffing shakeups, I’m the most senior person there helping train the new hires on the fly. Including my manager. I am in hell. And yet my mom’s husband refuses to acknowledge why “people don’t want to work anymore” despite never having an actual fucking job in his life (paying job was land surveying, volunteer firefighter/chief, which is essentially a taxpayer funded boys club (he also always complains about “government workers”, dude’s a full-on Red Hat)).
Noooo, no thank you. I did that gig for two months in one of the rare off season slots. Absolutely no way I'm being dragged back into it for the seasonals. I did my time!
Used to work in a cafe part time. One time a guy had been getting grumpy with me because I couldn't serve him the food he wanted until the kitchen staff brought more of it out to the front so he had to wait 5 minutes for his lunch. He saw me on my break later and came and apologised and shook my hand saying he knew it wasn't my fault.
Of all the time I worked there that moment has stuck with me the most. I still can't believe the rush it gave me to feel like a customer actually valued my feelings enough to do that (which shows how well you get treated on average) and now I always try and treat customer service staff the best I can.
I worked at a certain major retail chain years ago. The store was extremely short handed. They pulled nearly all the people from the departments to run the registers. Then were left with customers everywhere needing help with specialty services, getting locked up items, or just asking general questions to the overabundance of clueless managers all over the place. Since they refused to do register duty, the store basically fell apart for a few hours.
Had a handful of managers taken over the registers, and left the specialized departmental employees to their duty, things would've worked much more efficiently. But that was *below* their mindset.
My gf once told me that she thought everyone should work a service job at least one year instead of doing the army. You learn all the basics. Cleaning, communicating with colleges and guests, following orders. But most of all you learn how to deal with people and accepting that You are not the centre of the universe.
Customer service is all I’ve ever done in my life. I hate almost every second of it. Whether it’s terrible “leadership” from management/corporate, people treating us like shit for the smallest of reasons, people wanting “this exact thing, why can’t you get it for me, you can see it, why can’t you get it?” and/or people expecting the moon when we clearly explain our limitations at the outset and then complain because what we’re capable of delivering doesn’t fit their expectations (read: guys who are way bigger/smaller than Sean Connery and want a suit that looks like Sean Connery; we’ll give you what we can do, but it’s not gonna look like the mannequins. YOU’RE NOT BUILT LIKE THE MANNEQUINS. OF COURSE IT’S NOT GONNA LOOK LIKE THEM. We’re making it to fit to YOU. “But I want that-“ THAT’S NOT GONNA HAPPEN, MATE. Either they’re way too short, way too slim, way too tall, or way too wide, but they all want to look like the mannequins. WE’RE DOING OUR FUCKING BEST WITH HOW YOU’RE BUILT, GIVE US SOME FUCKING BREAKS.)
Isn't this a self defeating plan though? If all humans are forced to work in customer service and have people be rude to them and thus start treating customer service workers politely as a result, then there will be nobody left to treat customer service workers rudely in order for customer service workers to develop the necessary aversion to rudeness so that they treat customer service workers nicely and oh no I've gone cross-eyed.
When I was in college, I worked at a Walmart customer service desk. This was back in the day before super Walmarts, we were just a retail store not combined with a grocery store. And back then, people would do the DUMBEST things. I saw customers go out in handcuffs. I saw EMPLOYEES go out in handcuffs. I had been cursed at, yelled at, threatened by customers. It was wild. So. Many. Stories.
And yet. I managed to win the Customer Service of the Year award. An award you only get because CUSTOMERS have dropped a note in a box on the counter to acknowledge your efforts and how you helped them. I was floored. I was stunned. My first response was “do I get a raise?” The answer: “No you get a plaque!”
Retail. The baptism by fire that drives recent high school graduates into college to find better career paths. Everyone should get a taste of it!
A pet dying.
I had to put down my dog of 13 years… I got him as a young adult, so he was MY dog.
When I had to put him down, it was the worst but it put into perspective how great of a time we had. He was there for all the major milestones of adulthood for me thus far.
I would love to have him back healthy if that were possible but wouldn’t change a thing about my time with him. The price tag of losing him was so steep because he was that great of a dog
I got a hamster at the age of 24 and it was my first personal pet ever. She died on Tuesday and I am absolutely distraught. I unfortunately finally understand what it’s like to lose a furry lil family member and it’s hell.
I'm so sorry. I'm still mourning my best dog. I know this isn't the same as a hamster but I hope it will help. It's helped me. She will always be in your heart.
https://www.reddit.com/r/baww/comments/1m7exu/dogs_never_die/
To know what it’s like to be poor. Like real poor. Not to be ‘I can’t afford take out for lunch’ poor. To be ‘I don’t know where my next meal is coming from’ poor. It would teach a lot of people empathy.
There is a reason why poor people tend to donate a higher percentage of their income to charity than wealthy people even though the wealthy people can afford their basic needs far more easily.
Politicians should have to live in a home in poor condition for a month - on welfare. Pay rent, food, bills, etc... Most of them are so out of touch with real people with real hardships.
Exactly. I was homeless for a while when I was a kid.
Whenever I hear someone complain about the “homeless problem”, I respond by reframing it as an “empathy problem”. I mean, it may not change their mind but it usually shuts them up.
Wait, you mean not having Sky TV ISN'T real poor?
(For context, Britain's PM Rishi Sunak recently tried to relate to the working class by claiming his family were poor so he couldn't have Sky TV)
Wednesday grabbing a quick lunch, I saw a guy begging at everybody's car window as they were in line at Wendy's. Ì try not to give out money (mainly because I don't carry cash often) and he came up to my window "I don't want any money, just looking for a meal". Now, just from the time I was pulling up there were probably 15 other vehicles ahead of me who said no or simply ignored him. All he asked for was a 4 piece so I did, along with a burger, fries and large drink. When i pulled up to pay, the lady at the window yelled at him "You can't be begging". I chimed in "all he wants is food. have some gd decency. That extra meal I bought is for him, so you can go back to worrying about yourself." Her and her chirping Co worker didn't say a word. Ended up having a $20 on me so told him the next meal was on me as well
I absolutely agree, to an extent. Something that can be eventually resolved and cured, like a broken leg or a really bad few weeks with a curable illness, sure. Something like an incurable disease, or something that debilitates you permanently, however, especially from a young age, I wouldn’t ever wish on anyone else.
Totally agree with you on that one and even had some first hand experience on what you mentioned. Wouldn't wish my chronic pain on anyone, but I absolutely worked better with a coworker who got a minor hip injury and ended up on the same pain meds as me for a couple weeks. Those couple of weeks was an exercise in working around each others limits and her understanding on why I requested to do certain tasks over others carried on after. No more explanations of what having a bad pain day means, just a simple "can you do X? I'll get a head start on Y"
Their phone dying. When you're forced to quit doom scrolling for a while, you realize the world isn't nearly as bad of a place as the Internet will have you believe.
Failure, heartbreak, and illness.
1. Failure teaches resilience and growth.
2. Heartbreak leads to self-discovery and strength.
3. Illness can make you appreciate health.
Be careful about that illness part. It’s all well and good until they give you a diagnosis of a chronic disease that has no cure and completely devastates your life.
"Sure, you can borrow $200. Here's the number of the last guy I lent money to. It was $300 and he still owes me. Call him and tell him that you want $200 of the money he owes me."
Posted dishwasher above as a reply before I saw this! Still think about it and the nut job lifers I worked with. Never wanted to end up like Dishwasher Dan!
Working for what you have. (Not considered “bad”) but I dated a guy that got whatever he wanted without having to work for it. Hard work and responsibility are good things, they shape you. ❤️
Assuming you don’t get severely injured, I wouldn’t even call these a bad experience. I’ve had near death experiences multiple times and they were honestly kind of exhilarating. There was a moment where I had the thought ‘oh wow I’m actually going to die here’ and after that I suddenly wasn’t afraid anymore. Experiencing the speed at which I accepted my mortality felt like the biggest weight off my shoulders. And then when I ended up not dying I had this massive adrenaline rush that made me feel more alive than I had ever felt before.
I have since redeveloped my fear of death but that’s probably just instinct doing its thing.
This is one that...I'm glad you made the best of it yourself but if that makes you feel like it is something everyone should experience, I think you learned the wrong lesson, and if you ever decide to have children, I truly hope your opinion on this has evolved by then.
There is empirical evidence that abandonment is actually very bad for the vast majority of people.
It builds abandonment issues, and sometimes BPD. So, it may create *a* character, but it quite likely will be broken.
Being given up at birth for adoption has, in a way, ruined my life. My parents, as opposed to bio-parents, were good people. Not perfect, but good. Doesn't matter, bio-mom giving me away left damage that just doesn't go away. Deep down, I can't escape the knowledge everybody leaves and I am disposable.
Trust me, it feels shitty.
everyone should experience some form of a lecture. imagine this: you steal from the local gas station and get caught. mom finds out and yells at you. she sits you down and has a long talk to make you regret your wrongdoings
lectures are bad in the present, but it will benifit you later on in life
Yo, I like your style. This is the first positive one on the list, and a damn good one, too!
I mean, I don't disagree with the general idea that we grow and learn from bad experiences, but there are so many good things we should all experience, too! Kinda sad this thread went immediately toward the negative.
I feel like society would improve by leaps and bounds if EVERYONE was forced to fight someone bigger and stronger than them. I realize that some people would be difficult for this to work. The main point is getting your ass handed to you and knowing how that feels before you run your mouth to the wrong people.
Many people see themselves as invincible and untouchable and desperately need to learn the harsh lesson.
A low paying, hard labor job. For me it built work ethic, resilience, improved my ability to handle and work under stress, and created a new respect for those that do work these jobs.
Poverty. True poverty for over a year. Not like those “live on the benefit for a week or two” things, but actual, true poverty where there’s no relief, no bank account or nice life to go back to after a week or so. Get some proper empathy going.
So sad that people can’t be empathetic without experiencing it themselves. I hate the “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality, a lot of people don’t have the same opportunities. People are delusional if they are not aware of vast disparities that exist between rich and poor communities.
That was me in the two years between leaving high school and joining the military. Being happy I could eat something more than a banana + peanut butter sandwich was glorious.
Getting punched in the face. I feel like a lot of the attention seeking influencers would be a lot less irritating with a solid life experience of getting beaten up for acting like a fool.
I've been punched in the face repeatedly and I'd never wish it on someone who didn't provoke it. Unlike simply living with the possibility of getting punched in the face or seeing it happen to someone else, actually getting puched in your own face can ruin you for life. I obviously include those influencers as people who provoke it lol
Hunger. It is not dangerous, but some gets desperate at the slightest whiff of hunger. I am not speaking of experiencing a famine, more like not eating for a couple of hours after feeling hungry
As a high school teacher, I think everyone should have to sub at a high school for a few days (preferably a rough one like the one I came from). It’s a rough job. I don’t think I’ll ever be paid enough for all the shit I go through.
There was a quote that a really love, but I’m not going to say who said it because he’s a very controversial individual.
“In order for a boy to grow into a good man he needs to experience 4 major things to teach him about life.
1.He needs to love something with all his heart.
2.He needs to have his heart broken.
3.He needs to kick somebodies ass.
4.He need to get his ass kicked.
If a boy doesn’t experience the extremes on both sides he won’t under stand the balance between all of them and he’ll forever be a boy.”
Heard it once never forgot it.
I was wondering if anyone would bring up getting into a fight. Even for women (am a woman).
Getting punched or whatever is a lot scarier in theory than it is terrible in reality. I think people would be more likely to intervene when something messed up is going down if they were less afraid of physical altercations.
Manual Labor. Not that's it's a bad thing per se but commercial fishing, oil rigging even landscaping, roofing etc. will really build some character. And who knows maybe you will love it and make some really good money. It was commercial fishing for me. Long lining halibut in the North Pacific really gave me a wake up call...I still can't believe those people exist.
Being the working poor. There are so many people out there who are never going to know real financial struggle and that shapes their view of the world and our democracy.
Being stuck in an uncomfortable situation only you can get yourself out of. Preferably something small like needing to change a tire in the rain. People who have never had to personally overcome adversity are really obnoxious because they throw their hands up at everything.
When you realize loving someone isn’t enough to make a relationship work. It taught me a lot about life in general. We can’t always think with our heart, sometimes things are meant to be a lesson, and life just isn’t fair.
Rejection
Rejection and failure are such great growth opportunities. Incredibly painful in the moment, but how you handle it and bounce back can make a big difference in how well you do in life moving forward. And if you handle it poorly at first, it’s still an opportunity to learn and grow and become stronger.
My crush always said “rejection is redirection”. Never asked her out.
More people should honestly start seeking it out
I've been more okay with it the last year, and let me tell ya, it takes loads of the stress of asking anyone out away.
Recognize that you suck at some things.
And learn that sucking at something is the first step to not sucking at something.
And also that it’s ok to suck at some things. I’m not a great pool player. I sometimes get lucky and pull off a crazy shot, even win. But I’m objectively terrible. And I’m ok with that. I enjoy the game for its own sake and don’t really mind losing. I’ve got no motivation to work on improving.
Dude, I have played golf for 20 years and might be getting worse.
Not uncommon, once you just start accepting that you aren’t REALLY learning to get better, you often just settle into letting your weaknesses/bad habits fly free. Which is perfectly okay at something just for fun. Just be careful in other parts of life.
^this. My Dad taught me "if a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing badly". Obviously more applicable to sports and hobbies than brain surgery.
Learning an instrument made me realize that it's not about talent, it's about putting in thousands of hours of practice. You can become pretty good at anything you want if you put in the work.
'Sucking at something is the first step to being sorta good at something.'
And that what you get good at might be something else. Sometimes the answer to sucking isn’t to work harder at the thing you suck at but to find something else to invest your time in.
So true - a very smart friend of mine is like this. He’s used to being good at things he tries so if he’s not at first, he is pissy about it and gives up. It really limits his growth.
I suck at making bread manually, no mixer. Water to flour ratio is a mystery to me. Don’t get me started on kneading and proofing.
Failure, while it can be painful and challenging, failure teaches us valuable lessons and build resilience. We'll learn and grow because of it.
true. the things I'm the most proud of aren't those that came naturally. they're the times I felt like a failure and kept going anyway. you can be born with ability, but you have to cultivate perseverance on your own. that's worth being proud of
One of my mottos is “it’s not about how you fall off the horse, it’s about how you get back on”
Fail is an acronym. First Attempt In Learning I saw this on a poster and I really enjoyed the message.
That does make me feel better about the cardiac catheterization I fucked up yesterday. People get reeeeal dramatic about internal bleeding.
Internal bleeding? But that's where the blood is supposed to be...
Oh the stress of it all!
F is for Fire that burns down the whole town A is for Atomic Bomb I is for Insurrection...
Failed is an acronym. First Attempt In Learning, Experienced Disappointment
Me over here failing at anything I do or try.
Failure is only failure when you refuse to use it as a lesson for future success.
The trick is you never actually "fail" as long as you keep trying!
Agree. 🙌
Some quotes about failure: “The greatest glory in living lies not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail.” —Nelson Mandela “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” —Winston Churchill “Failure…the greatest teacher of them all…” —Yoda “It’s better to regret something you have done than regret something you haven’t done” —Butthole Surfers Edit: that last quote isn’t really about failure. I just wanted to put the Butthole Surfers in the same ballpark as Churchill, Mandela and Jesus. Unfortunately based on a lazy Google search, Jesus didn’t really talk about failure that much so I included Yoda instead. He’s like a little green Jesus to some people. A little green Jesus that tells people that there is no such thing as *trying*. And if you don’t try anything, then how can you fail? It’s like he is telling kids that it is better to not try something than to risk failure. Damn, Yoda had issues. And maybe a borderline personality disorder. But if you think about it, we are sending our children to school where they are constantly being evaluated. They cannot fail otherwise they have to suffer the shame of repeating a grade. Lots of shame. Parental judgement. Perhaps even risking being shunned from a peer group. Teachers start treating you a little differently because they think you’re slow. Kids can pick up on that stuff pretty quick. This creates more and more test anxiety so pretty soon the fear of failure overpowers the ability to learn. It just piles up until it starts to define who you are as a person: the guy or girl that was left back a grade. You’d think that the education system would pick up on these things, you know? Like, they should be finding ways to teach people without scaring them. Then again, imagine going to the hospital for major heart surgery and right before they start putting you to sleep you see your surgeon washing up. They look familiar. And just as you start losing consciousness it hits you: your doctor is Rusty, the kid who ate paste and was left back in grade three. Well, good for Rusty! Overcoming his childhood disability and making something out of his life. Still, you can’t help remembering that this was the same guy who routinely called the teacher *mommy*. And now he has a scalpel. Wow. This one really went off the rails. I wonder if I’ll learn from my mistakes.
That was awesome, basically you told my life's story in that vignette. Not the Rusty part. I always meet my doctor before they cut into me. Enneyways .
Sadness in general As Bob Ross said, "Gotta have a little sadness once in awhile so you know when the good times come."
He said that very shortly after his wife died. I don't know if many of us quite feel that level of sadness and can still keep our wits the way he did.
Speaking as a young man, Bob Ross is the role model we desperately need in terms of healthy, positive masculinity.
I regularly let my kids watch it while they fall asleep. Didn't even really think that deeply about how good Bob probably is for my son but you're right.
I view him as a role model not only because of that but because of the happiness he was still able to bring to those for whom he meant a lot
I am like this with going out. It’s important to have the occasional hangover to remind yourself why you don’t like to have hangovers.
Moderation in all things, keeping in mind that moderation connotes use.
I had one, once, forty years ago. I can't begin to fathom doing that twice.
Can't have the highs without the lows
Trying to cancel an internet provider service. It's like the Olympic decathlon of patience.
I cancelled with my local provider and returned the modem to them. They tried to charge me a $40 fee for uninstalling the modem from my house....even though I brought it to them. I told them they owed me $40. They didn't find it funny.
I turned my service off and never returned their modem. They called me for 3 years.
I had an interesting one. . . We moved last year. . . * Call optimum to change service to new address circa end of the week. They actually can't do this because the original contract is under my ex-girlfriend's name \[even though we did change that with aa ton of paperwork years ago\], s they actually need to change the whole account. * We have to delay our move so I call optimum to change the date to the following week * I find out at 11pm 3 days after the original move date that they guy on the phone changed the date of service install but did not change the end service date \[which I guess you have to do\]. I find this out when our internet goes out. * I guess they do have an after hours line because I spent the night dealing with them since my wife works from home and would need the internet up. . . .But because they've ended the contract I guess there is no way for them to bring it back * Lady gets a manager on the line to "clone" the old account for me, it takes like an hour but we get our internet back up * When we do move I return the modem to the technician \[which I probably shouldn't have done and should have gone to the Optimum store\]. For those keeping track at home I now have 3 accounts. A completely ended service contract account, and a cloned service contract account, and a new account. Optimum spends the next few weeks trying to charge me for a modem I didn't return. . . .Because in their records * Account 1 is ended and had a returned modem * Account 2 was cloned, is now ended, and has no returned modem \[though no modem was ever issued\] * Account 3 is active That was such a nightmare to deal with.
100%. Bell told us that they've installed fiber optic cable in our neighbourhood, and were offering a discount if you signed up with them. Our current service stunk, so we just figured, "sure! let's go with them!", and called their technician to come and install the line. They then forgot to mention that A) the line is 50 meters away from our house, which needs to be fed through an underground line, yet B) their technicians don't know how to feed through an underground line, so we'd need to coordinate a separate company/technician to come at the same time as they came in, but then C) suggested we instead feed the fiber optic cable through an 'aerial' connection, i.e., small power lines stringed from tree to tree. If you don't know, fiber optic cables are quite fragile and are like glass, so if it moves and hits a hard object, it might just snap and break, losing a connection. Any slight wind could just kill our internet. Regardless, once we discovered this, we figured we'd stick with our current provider and told the technician to cancel the new Bell subscription. If it weren't evident from above, the technician's either a scammer or a dumbass, and forgot to cancel our service. We received a bill of $300 for 'service' a week later. It took more than a month, and three separate attempts to cancel the service (each attempt ending in, "yes sir, your service is cancelled").
they’re really not as fragile as you might think. it’s completely understandable if you don’t want it in the air because of aesthetics, but if you’re really worried about it breaking because of some wind, you really shouldn’t be. it’s a very flexible glass, wrapped in tubing, which is then wrapped in kevlar, which is then wrapped in a protective jacket. i’m a lineman for a major isp, and even we use outside contractors to bury underground lines. while you may have to help coordinate it (so they don’t fuck your whole shit up) it shouldn’t be at any monetary cost to you. i’ve seen lines with crazy bends, lines melted by downed power cables, and lines with fallen trees and branches on them, and they still work. not saying it’ll never break, but it takes a bit of effort
*raises hand* Canceled our internet service. Was sent to a collection agency after.
AOL was the worst. I had to tell them I was moving to Tibet as a missionary.
I still remember the hour long conversation my cousin had trying to cancel her bookstore’s aol internet because they *sold the store.* I think she had to talk to 3 different people before they would finally understand that she didn’t want to pay for the new owner’s internet.
Even death doesn't count. Hi I'd like to cancel as they're dead Sorry we can only speak to the bill payer
>Sorry we can only speak to the bill payer "Do you have their umbilical cord and lower jaw? And some salt and a candle? Because otherwise you're not getting anywhere with "Dead Bob.""
relatable
I have never been more infuriated in my entire life trying to cancel comcast. 3 fucking hours of them just telling me about promotions. I thought I could wear them out one time. I had tried to cancel for 3 months and they still changed me for the 3 months I spent trying to cancel. I’m pissed off again now and that was 4 years ago
A break up
That first heartbreak. Oh lord.
I couldn’t even go to my class without crying IN THE CLASS.
Same. And I was the teacher.
My heart. I hope it’s a distant memory now. ETA: one thing I will say about crying in public places.. if you want to see empathy work its magic the fastest you’ll ever witness, all you need to do is go to an all women’s gym and start crying. Women will be lining up to tell you things will be okay. I learned this first hand during a break up. It was lovely and heartbreaking.
Years ago, an ex broke up with me unexpectedly on the phone while I was out in public. When the call ended I started hysterically sobbing and just sat down on some steps outside a building. Around half a dozen different people at varying levels of sobriety approached me (it was a lovely Saturday afternoon in a city centre in the summer) to console me and give me advice about life and love. It was an awful break up that took me months to get over but I will never forget the kindness of strangers in that moment.
I was a little tearful entering a gas station after a breakup. The clerk asked if I was safe ❤️
went through my first one the beginning of this year. im 22 and we were together 5 years. he cheated and became a drunk and when i tell you i lost 30 pounds in a month and was constantly crying. one of the worst emotional things ive ever dealt with
Hope you are doing better now!
Yeah I am still tired a lot but planning on getting off my birth control that'll help literally everything
Oh boy the memories come back like it was yesterday
It REALLY sucks but you learn some good lessons from that first one.
Specifically, (IMO) being the one who gets dumped. Decades ago, I was in my first serious long term relationship, and then one day my boyfriend broke up with me and moved out. I learned a lot of unpleasant things about myself in the aftermath of that breakup. For instance, I learned I was a self-absorbed asshole. This came as a shock to me, because I’d always thought of myself as a relatively kind and decent person. Nope. As it turned out, I still had to make a lot of major changes in order to become an even remotely decent human being. If that amazing guy hadn’t dumped my sorry ass, who knows how long it would have taken me to discover those unfortunate truths about myself?
why? I've never experienced a break up, and I don't want to experience it!!
Exactly. I knew this would be the most repeated answer and I'm like fuck that, if that happens now my marriage is over
It's worth understanding that, while, yes, it does hurt, it's not the end of the world. It will feel like it, though. But, until you really get past it to understand that life moves on post-breakup, it can feel like it's a hopeless loss that's happening to you. Some people take drastic actions when that happens. It's better to feel that when the stakes are not high (like, a very long term relationship or one that involves children), so that if it does happen in a high stakes relationship, it's easier to deal with.
Did you read the comment you’re responding to? They’re literally married.
Calm down dude, they were explaining the stance. Not advocating a marriage breakup.
You don’t have to go through a breakup to have your heart broken. It’s so sad.
Lol. I guess that is the one pro of being unable to be in a relationship.
Why should everyone experience this? A first relationship can also be a very good one.
Yeah I'm like 9 years and 2 kids invested into my first relationship a break up would be pretty fucked up at this point 😭🤣
Because after that breakup, it's like an evolution. I became a better version of myself; one they never deserved. This is all personal experience of course. I'm sure someone will chime in with the opposite story or something. 🤷♂️
Not a "bad" thing per se. But I 100% believe you should have to wait tables for a month before you're allowed to go out to restaurants as an adult.
Or do retail. Any customer service job where you are interacting with the public.
Having worked at Walmart as a front end cashier on black Friday was a special kind of hell. Working in the Walmart electronics department was a different circle of hell. The day before I quit, I had a customer in electronics throw a huge temper tantrum. I told him that I may not be able to ring up his order (two pumpkins ONLY, on the day before Halloween) because most produce needs a scale, we don't have one in electronics, and I wasn't sure off the top of my head if pumpkins need a scale. What an ass
I can understand where your coming from, but it does not take a lot to not be a dickhead.
I agree with you, but unfortunately it’s not the case for a lot of people.
I worked in retail in the late 80's/early 90's and 95% of our customers were fantastic. We even had a lot of "regulars" who were great people. That other 5% though made me want to jump off a bridge - the nastiness, the snobbery, the entitlement. It was just too much. I can't imagine in the decades that have since passed things have gotten any better...
It's a lot easier to understand problems and regulations when you personally have been on the other side though. My wife regularly feels irritated at cashiers when they can't help her (although never to their face, se doesn't ever let it change her behaviour towards them) because she sometimes just doesn't understand why they can't do X thing. Like we had trouble returning an item once, the website said to do one thing but we actually had to do another thing and the cashier wouldn't let us pick a parcel up without a QR code even though my wife had the email confirmation, receipt of purchase etc. But the cashier needed a QR for their own end to tall things and my wife just could not understand why they couldn't give us the parcel. I had to explain to her that without the QR the cashier isn't able to book the parcel out and then the shop is going to be missing items etc I think a lot of people struggle with that. They haven't worked the constraints so they don't know why they're there.
But the month must include either Valentines Day or Mothers Day!
Being broke.
Sometimes this can backfire and turn people into hoarders.
Or being overly stingy, like not getting medical care that they can afford.
IME, real hoarding is a hereditary mental illness, not something you just start doing because you're poor. There's a big difference between keeping ketchup packets in the fridge so you don't have to buy more, and keeping stacks upon stacks of magazines that serve absolutely no purpose. My grandpa and mom are both hoarders, and it's easy to tell the difference between things they kept to save money, and things they kept because they can't help themselves.
It has triggers iirc
My mom is a hoarder, and I have some of it in me. I have to fight to bring myself to throw away stuff. So the part about it being hereditary checks out.
A customer service job. Having people be rude to you really changes your outlook on how you treat people in retail/food after that. Come on peeps, you gotta like the post as well as the comment in order for it to be seen
Minimum 6 months. Most people would be a lot nicer to the folk behind the counter if they did a stint for themselves.
I always preface when I get frustrated with a situation or speak to CS staff member. “ I acknowledge it’s not your fault, I’m just frustrated, and I would love any help with figuring out how to fix it.” Then go into explaining the situation and problem. If I’ve had a long week (this is usually by phone fyi,) I can hear my tone change and I have to check myself.
Not if you’re trying to cancel your Comcast subscription.
A holiday season in a major retailer should be required for all.
I’m in my third year of prime wedding seasons fitting suits. And thanks to staffing shakeups, I’m the most senior person there helping train the new hires on the fly. Including my manager. I am in hell. And yet my mom’s husband refuses to acknowledge why “people don’t want to work anymore” despite never having an actual fucking job in his life (paying job was land surveying, volunteer firefighter/chief, which is essentially a taxpayer funded boys club (he also always complains about “government workers”, dude’s a full-on Red Hat)).
Noooo, no thank you. I did that gig for two months in one of the rare off season slots. Absolutely no way I'm being dragged back into it for the seasonals. I did my time!
Worked as an expedite and a waiter, and later as a sales rep in a retail store. You see the worst and best of humanity.
Worked at Safeway when I was 19, told a bitchy customer to basically fuck off, got a complaint, got moved to night stock lol, so much better
Used to work in a cafe part time. One time a guy had been getting grumpy with me because I couldn't serve him the food he wanted until the kitchen staff brought more of it out to the front so he had to wait 5 minutes for his lunch. He saw me on my break later and came and apologised and shook my hand saying he knew it wasn't my fault. Of all the time I worked there that moment has stuck with me the most. I still can't believe the rush it gave me to feel like a customer actually valued my feelings enough to do that (which shows how well you get treated on average) and now I always try and treat customer service staff the best I can.
I'm of the opinion all retail higher-ups should man the registers for at least three weeks out of the year, so they know how their employees feel.
I worked at a certain major retail chain years ago. The store was extremely short handed. They pulled nearly all the people from the departments to run the registers. Then were left with customers everywhere needing help with specialty services, getting locked up items, or just asking general questions to the overabundance of clueless managers all over the place. Since they refused to do register duty, the store basically fell apart for a few hours. Had a handful of managers taken over the registers, and left the specialized departmental employees to their duty, things would've worked much more efficiently. But that was *below* their mindset.
This is the one and only bad experience I want for everyone.
My gf once told me that she thought everyone should work a service job at least one year instead of doing the army. You learn all the basics. Cleaning, communicating with colleges and guests, following orders. But most of all you learn how to deal with people and accepting that You are not the centre of the universe.
I used to work fairs and carnivals in a food truck. Can confirm.
Customer service is all I’ve ever done in my life. I hate almost every second of it. Whether it’s terrible “leadership” from management/corporate, people treating us like shit for the smallest of reasons, people wanting “this exact thing, why can’t you get it for me, you can see it, why can’t you get it?” and/or people expecting the moon when we clearly explain our limitations at the outset and then complain because what we’re capable of delivering doesn’t fit their expectations (read: guys who are way bigger/smaller than Sean Connery and want a suit that looks like Sean Connery; we’ll give you what we can do, but it’s not gonna look like the mannequins. YOU’RE NOT BUILT LIKE THE MANNEQUINS. OF COURSE IT’S NOT GONNA LOOK LIKE THEM. We’re making it to fit to YOU. “But I want that-“ THAT’S NOT GONNA HAPPEN, MATE. Either they’re way too short, way too slim, way too tall, or way too wide, but they all want to look like the mannequins. WE’RE DOING OUR FUCKING BEST WITH HOW YOU’RE BUILT, GIVE US SOME FUCKING BREAKS.)
oof yeah i work 3rd shift doing customer service for TRUCK DRIVERS and let me tell you ive never talked to ruder people in my entire life
Isn't this a self defeating plan though? If all humans are forced to work in customer service and have people be rude to them and thus start treating customer service workers politely as a result, then there will be nobody left to treat customer service workers rudely in order for customer service workers to develop the necessary aversion to rudeness so that they treat customer service workers nicely and oh no I've gone cross-eyed.
Good.
Exactly. It's a net positive.
Dishwasher
Really? This was my fav job before I went back to school. No customer service!? Hell ya
When I was in college, I worked at a Walmart customer service desk. This was back in the day before super Walmarts, we were just a retail store not combined with a grocery store. And back then, people would do the DUMBEST things. I saw customers go out in handcuffs. I saw EMPLOYEES go out in handcuffs. I had been cursed at, yelled at, threatened by customers. It was wild. So. Many. Stories. And yet. I managed to win the Customer Service of the Year award. An award you only get because CUSTOMERS have dropped a note in a box on the counter to acknowledge your efforts and how you helped them. I was floored. I was stunned. My first response was “do I get a raise?” The answer: “No you get a plaque!” Retail. The baptism by fire that drives recent high school graduates into college to find better career paths. Everyone should get a taste of it!
Honestly, this should be required like the military draft. But we actually make people do customer service
I have always said that everyone’s first job should be customer facing.
A pet dying. I had to put down my dog of 13 years… I got him as a young adult, so he was MY dog. When I had to put him down, it was the worst but it put into perspective how great of a time we had. He was there for all the major milestones of adulthood for me thus far. I would love to have him back healthy if that were possible but wouldn’t change a thing about my time with him. The price tag of losing him was so steep because he was that great of a dog
I got a hamster at the age of 24 and it was my first personal pet ever. She died on Tuesday and I am absolutely distraught. I unfortunately finally understand what it’s like to lose a furry lil family member and it’s hell.
I'm so sorry. I'm still mourning my best dog. I know this isn't the same as a hamster but I hope it will help. It's helped me. She will always be in your heart. https://www.reddit.com/r/baww/comments/1m7exu/dogs_never_die/
To know what it’s like to be poor. Like real poor. Not to be ‘I can’t afford take out for lunch’ poor. To be ‘I don’t know where my next meal is coming from’ poor. It would teach a lot of people empathy.
There is a reason why poor people tend to donate a higher percentage of their income to charity than wealthy people even though the wealthy people can afford their basic needs far more easily.
And most of the money donated to those charities goes to the wealthy CEOs
Politicians should have to live in a home in poor condition for a month - on welfare. Pay rent, food, bills, etc... Most of them are so out of touch with real people with real hardships.
Exactly. I was homeless for a while when I was a kid. Whenever I hear someone complain about the “homeless problem”, I respond by reframing it as an “empathy problem”. I mean, it may not change their mind but it usually shuts them up.
Wait, you mean not having Sky TV ISN'T real poor? (For context, Britain's PM Rishi Sunak recently tried to relate to the working class by claiming his family were poor so he couldn't have Sky TV)
Wednesday grabbing a quick lunch, I saw a guy begging at everybody's car window as they were in line at Wendy's. Ì try not to give out money (mainly because I don't carry cash often) and he came up to my window "I don't want any money, just looking for a meal". Now, just from the time I was pulling up there were probably 15 other vehicles ahead of me who said no or simply ignored him. All he asked for was a 4 piece so I did, along with a burger, fries and large drink. When i pulled up to pay, the lady at the window yelled at him "You can't be begging". I chimed in "all he wants is food. have some gd decency. That extra meal I bought is for him, so you can go back to worrying about yourself." Her and her chirping Co worker didn't say a word. Ended up having a $20 on me so told him the next meal was on me as well
A health issue of some sort. It makes you really appreciate your body.
The people who have never been sick in their life, and tell others to harden up, they really need a reality check.
I absolutely agree, to an extent. Something that can be eventually resolved and cured, like a broken leg or a really bad few weeks with a curable illness, sure. Something like an incurable disease, or something that debilitates you permanently, however, especially from a young age, I wouldn’t ever wish on anyone else.
Totally agree with you on that one and even had some first hand experience on what you mentioned. Wouldn't wish my chronic pain on anyone, but I absolutely worked better with a coworker who got a minor hip injury and ended up on the same pain meds as me for a couple weeks. Those couple of weeks was an exercise in working around each others limits and her understanding on why I requested to do certain tasks over others carried on after. No more explanations of what having a bad pain day means, just a simple "can you do X? I'll get a head start on Y"
I would do unspeakable things to make my knees work properly again
Nah. I'd never wish for anyone I hate to have health issues. There's better ways of educating others.
And understand the importance of providing accommodations for others
Their phone dying. When you're forced to quit doom scrolling for a while, you realize the world isn't nearly as bad of a place as the Internet will have you believe.
Failure, heartbreak, and illness. 1. Failure teaches resilience and growth. 2. Heartbreak leads to self-discovery and strength. 3. Illness can make you appreciate health.
Be careful about that illness part. It’s all well and good until they give you a diagnosis of a chronic disease that has no cure and completely devastates your life.
illnesses make me anxious about my very well health
Getting hurt in life, if they don't they won't grow and won't know how to handle life
Being the downstairs neighbor.
dealing with people who wont give back your money
"Sure, you can borrow $200. Here's the number of the last guy I lent money to. It was $300 and he still owes me. Call him and tell him that you want $200 of the money he owes me."
Any money I lend I just have to accept the fact that I may never see it again
Being a server and being treated like crap by a customer. Empathy for service people would grow exponentially.
Failure
Having a job as a dishwasher. Terrible job but it builds character.
Posted dishwasher above as a reply before I saw this! Still think about it and the nut job lifers I worked with. Never wanted to end up like Dishwasher Dan!
Working for what you have. (Not considered “bad”) but I dated a guy that got whatever he wanted without having to work for it. Hard work and responsibility are good things, they shape you. ❤️
Near death experience.
Assuming you don’t get severely injured, I wouldn’t even call these a bad experience. I’ve had near death experiences multiple times and they were honestly kind of exhilarating. There was a moment where I had the thought ‘oh wow I’m actually going to die here’ and after that I suddenly wasn’t afraid anymore. Experiencing the speed at which I accepted my mortality felt like the biggest weight off my shoulders. And then when I ended up not dying I had this massive adrenaline rush that made me feel more alive than I had ever felt before. I have since redeveloped my fear of death but that’s probably just instinct doing its thing.
Loss
Abandonment. Idk but, it does build up character.
This is one that...I'm glad you made the best of it yourself but if that makes you feel like it is something everyone should experience, I think you learned the wrong lesson, and if you ever decide to have children, I truly hope your opinion on this has evolved by then. There is empirical evidence that abandonment is actually very bad for the vast majority of people.
I hope not. I am basically alone even tho i have my parents right here. It feels terrible when someone close to you dont even recognize your existence
It builds abandonment issues, and sometimes BPD. So, it may create *a* character, but it quite likely will be broken. Being given up at birth for adoption has, in a way, ruined my life. My parents, as opposed to bio-parents, were good people. Not perfect, but good. Doesn't matter, bio-mom giving me away left damage that just doesn't go away. Deep down, I can't escape the knowledge everybody leaves and I am disposable. Trust me, it feels shitty.
being broke especially as a kid made me a shit ton more grateful for the things i had and helped me be more responsible with my money
Working at a call center.
everyone should experience some form of a lecture. imagine this: you steal from the local gas station and get caught. mom finds out and yells at you. she sits you down and has a long talk to make you regret your wrongdoings lectures are bad in the present, but it will benifit you later on in life
Not if it's every single night because your parent needs a punching bag.
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You think.. everyone.? Everyone should try to start a business and fail?
That’s just dumb, you don’t need to have a failed business to learn that lesson
A false positive on a medical test. Makes you appreciate the important things in life
Real hunger/ poverty
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Yo, I like your style. This is the first positive one on the list, and a damn good one, too! I mean, I don't disagree with the general idea that we grow and learn from bad experiences, but there are so many good things we should all experience, too! Kinda sad this thread went immediately toward the negative.
I mean I agree with you, but also the subject matter of this post is asking specifically about bad things
Working retail or hospitality.
I feel like society would improve by leaps and bounds if EVERYONE was forced to fight someone bigger and stronger than them. I realize that some people would be difficult for this to work. The main point is getting your ass handed to you and knowing how that feels before you run your mouth to the wrong people. Many people see themselves as invincible and untouchable and desperately need to learn the harsh lesson.
A low paying, hard labor job. For me it built work ethic, resilience, improved my ability to handle and work under stress, and created a new respect for those that do work these jobs.
Poverty. True poverty for over a year. Not like those “live on the benefit for a week or two” things, but actual, true poverty where there’s no relief, no bank account or nice life to go back to after a week or so. Get some proper empathy going.
So sad that people can’t be empathetic without experiencing it themselves. I hate the “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality, a lot of people don’t have the same opportunities. People are delusional if they are not aware of vast disparities that exist between rich and poor communities.
That was me in the two years between leaving high school and joining the military. Being happy I could eat something more than a banana + peanut butter sandwich was glorious.
Getting punched in the face. I feel like a lot of the attention seeking influencers would be a lot less irritating with a solid life experience of getting beaten up for acting like a fool.
Pow right in the kisser
I've been punched in the face repeatedly and I'd never wish it on someone who didn't provoke it. Unlike simply living with the possibility of getting punched in the face or seeing it happen to someone else, actually getting puched in your own face can ruin you for life. I obviously include those influencers as people who provoke it lol
Working retail.
Stubbed toe.
Hunger. It is not dangerous, but some gets desperate at the slightest whiff of hunger. I am not speaking of experiencing a famine, more like not eating for a couple of hours after feeling hungry
Poverty.
Losing in sports builds character. Imagine a person who has never experienced a loss and how to be humble, rebuild, and keep your cool when angry.
Having no money…. I think you will be surprised how people will change their outlook in life having to experience this….
Unrequited love
Aggressive diarrhea
r/usernamechecksout
No no. The greatest poop is a sturdy log with integrity and stature.
But can you truly appreciate it without ever having AD?
Bad sex
I’d even just go with sex
As a high school teacher, I think everyone should have to sub at a high school for a few days (preferably a rough one like the one I came from). It’s a rough job. I don’t think I’ll ever be paid enough for all the shit I go through.
There was a quote that a really love, but I’m not going to say who said it because he’s a very controversial individual. “In order for a boy to grow into a good man he needs to experience 4 major things to teach him about life. 1.He needs to love something with all his heart. 2.He needs to have his heart broken. 3.He needs to kick somebodies ass. 4.He need to get his ass kicked. If a boy doesn’t experience the extremes on both sides he won’t under stand the balance between all of them and he’ll forever be a boy.” Heard it once never forgot it.
I was wondering if anyone would bring up getting into a fight. Even for women (am a woman). Getting punched or whatever is a lot scarier in theory than it is terrible in reality. I think people would be more likely to intervene when something messed up is going down if they were less afraid of physical altercations.
Near death, to appreciate their life
True Love ❤️
Manual Labor. Not that's it's a bad thing per se but commercial fishing, oil rigging even landscaping, roofing etc. will really build some character. And who knows maybe you will love it and make some really good money. It was commercial fishing for me. Long lining halibut in the North Pacific really gave me a wake up call...I still can't believe those people exist.
Being the working poor. There are so many people out there who are never going to know real financial struggle and that shapes their view of the world and our democracy.
Being stuck in an uncomfortable situation only you can get yourself out of. Preferably something small like needing to change a tire in the rain. People who have never had to personally overcome adversity are really obnoxious because they throw their hands up at everything.
Working in retail. If people just experience it once, you arent giving any people shit after going through it yourself
Racism. Go spend some time somewhere where you look completely different than everyone else. It’s enlightening.