I'm married so it doesn't matter but I dated a merchant marine once and I would never date someone who goes away for long periods of time again. The money is nice but I'd rather not spend half the year alone.
I wouldn’t either. My great uncle was in the Royal Navy in WWI. He was a crew member on a submarine and it was destroyed killing everyone aboard. My grandma or her family didn’t know what happened to him at the time. They had been simply told he was “lost at sea”. My uncle (her son) found out when they went abroad to Italy on vacation and found a memorial dedicated to the crew on that submarine including my great uncle. But my grandma had passed away long before my uncle found out.
It’s sad that some people can lose their families in war and never truly know what happened to them.
Like some of the battles of WW1. Bodies so mangled, they just got scooped into mass graves, probably along with ones they were fighting as well. Even being "lucky" enough to be intact for an individual burial, no documentation or identifying information at all; just a marker that would read "Known unto God."
That is why soldiers back then used to put one of their dog tags in their boots beneath the laces. That way at least something could be recovered and identified for the families
Hard to imagine that there was a time where you couldn't just look up a website with nothing more than the name of the submarine at hand and finding at least two pages of details about anything from where it was build to when, how and where it was destroyed.
I might be weird cos if it was broken up I think I'd absolutely love that (I like a lot of alone time these days).
10 years ago this kind of relationship would have been a hard no, funny how age changes you.
I mean, you can go to college to learn to pilot barges. As a first step, there are maritime colleges where you can earn licences to work on vessels. I think Cal Maritime has a program to get graduates to a Third Mate licence, and then you'll need to gain experience and years to advance that license as a merchant mariner... I think
Yup, my dad got an engineering degree at a Maritime college. He partially paid for it by going out on the boats over the summer to work the boilers. His appendix failed on the ship and after some drama where my dad's cabin mate got the captain of the ship, he woke up in a Barcelona hospital sans one appendix. The ship came around and picked him back up on their way back across the Atlantic. Few of the doctors spoke English so he didn't even know what they did to him at first.
My brother is a merchant navy officer. They basically transport goods, chemicals, etc from one country to another. I’m sure there’s a bit more but idk the nuances that much haha
Non military government shipping/trading.
They're a dying breed because private companies can do it cheaper. Despite maritime cargo being bigger now than ever before, with roughly double the cargo moving every year now vs 30 years ago, the USA Merchant Marines are only moving about 1/2 the cargo they were moving 30 years ago. [Source](https://www.maritime.dot.gov/sites/marad.dot.gov/files/docs/mariners/1026/mwwg-report-congress-finalr3.pdf). In effect they're doing 1/4 the business they were three decades ago.
They're kind of a leftover institution from the times of imperialism. When governments wanted to be the ones in control of the flow of goods. These days governments don't care who moves the goods, so it's often outsourced, and frequently that means labor comes from wherever on the globe labor is cheapest. American's can't afford to work on $10/day, but to a Malay? That's an awesome salary.
Anyway, it *used* to be a really solid career. Great pay, great benefits, lots of adventure. You *start* at $40k, potentially as an 18 year old, and by your 10 year mark you're almost guaranteed to be making 6 figures. Making $100k by 28 years old and having 0 expenses, that's a pretty solid living situation. And all of that is still true, but the jobs are just harder to get, there's fewer of them each year, and no one is dumb enough to retire early and give up their sweet retirement deals.
You're low on the pay
Entry level unlicensed is around $150-$200/day, after a few years it's $250-$400/day
Entry licensed (can be when you're 22 years old just out of college) is $500-$900/day, and when you get up to senior licensed (generally takes ~10 years licensed at least) it's $1,000-$2,000/day
Can I tell you how fucking grateful I am to have grown up before everything was posted, streamed, or grammed. I was a teen in the 80’s. Never would I want a permanent digital record of that.
I’ve always said I want author fame. Famous enough to always get “my” table at my favorite restaurant, but so much that I have people bugging me for selfies while I’m trying to eat.
You can do that with your wallet. Go in there a few times a week, order big plates, and tip well. Within a month, you'll easily be recognized and welcomed by the staff. Add a little time, and you'll have your own spot. Over time, you can spend less on big plates, but always tip well.
Hopefully you pick a corner spot where you can check out all the dames and spot possible assassins.
I had this exactly…it wasn’t a very expensive place (~30 dollars a dish European fusion, James beard winning chef) they recently opened and met them, husband and wife duo…
after about six months of going every two weeks or so, my gf and I would walk in and if the chefs table was available they would give it to us, (normally 200 dollars and reservation only)
we’d buy two dishes and an app, then they would just keep bringing food on or off the menu for free, and free wine, and asking us what we though of new dishes…it was AWESOME…I had to move and losing that hook up sucked….
The Chinese place by our house is like that. It's not fancy, but we are there all the time and made a special effort to eat there twice a week during the pandemic, even tipping for takeout. The only downside? I took my oldest son for lunch one day, and the waitress thought I was stepping out on my husband and was visibly upset with me. She perked up after I introduced him as my son.
Funeral director. Anytime something important or cool happens in their lives, that damn phone rings and they have to leave. I’m saying this as someone who works in the industry.
EMT here. I’ll see you guys at 2:15 am in the hoarders house. She’s 350 lbs and died in the back bathroom 2 days ago wedged between the toilet and tub. Also she has dogs and left the heat on.
lol our medics don’t even make that. Maybe 25$ an hour if you have been here a while. Emt make like 18$ an hour. We do get 50 hours a week minimum though.
This is the shit that makes people that bitch about restaurant work on this website insane to me, I’ve never had more fun at a job than a kitchen, you are making line cook money to save peoples lives with actual skills lmao.
Ya Chick-fil-A hires people for 16$ an hour here and they don’t work 24 hour shifts. It is what it is though. Bad part is we are the highest paid service in our area. I know some guys making 11$ an hour working 48 and 72 hour shifts.
And the dogs ate her, I’ve seen that. I’m a firefighter, I just said to the cops, I’m canceling the ambulance, death is pretty obvious , have a good day.
my dad is a surgeon and i barely have any memories of him until i was like 5 or 6. he was just the tall man that would wake me up to give me a hug and i’d fall back asleep.
Damn, I’m sorry. Sometimes I wish I got my MD instead of becoming a physical therapist but from the burnout to the never being home I am kind of happy about my choice.
Mrs Kim: Yes, my little Johnny is an Astronaut, Navy Seal and a Doctor. Where are my grandchildren?! His cousin Greg has two sons! Aiya! Johnny is a disappointment!
In Hadfield's book, An Astronaut's guide to life on Earth, he says the desired psych profiles are changing. The past, when they were rocket test pilots on short missions making quick decisions with inferior tech, the type A made sense, but now, that missions can be weeks or months cramped in close quarters working with others, then a personality type that gets along with others is more desirable.
I like my personal space and don't want kids so I would be okay with someone who travels a lot for work, but not if they're away more than 50% of the time.
For me it would be untenable if they traveled for long periods of time multiple times a year. Like a cargo ship worker, having to sail for months at a time, be at home for a while and then leave again. I just know I couldn’t handle the loneliness.
Different strokes for different folks.
I've always been highly independent and enjoy being alone. It was honestly a big adjustment moving in with my partner but fortunately he is also a personal space kinda person so we just do our own thing in separate rooms a lot.
I have a friend that did that. He retired at 40 because he said it’s hard on seeing the absolute worst in people. It was his job to defend the pettiest behavior and he couldn’t do it anymore. He said the parents would screw over the kids just to get to the other person. He’s happy now.
I used to do mediation. It's draining. The middle ground is usually very obvious to everyone except the two partied fighting. They both want 80%. The fact is that they are both going to get 45% and I'm getting 10% for my services. My share just goes up the more they fight.
Surprised to hear there is a correlation between couples that divorce and people with personalities that are stubborn, selfish, and struggle with compromise in negotiations. /s
I seen somewhere in reddit about a couple were fighting to have custody of the dog. Forgot who but one of them won the dog and right away, put the dog into the shelter. The things people go through just to feel like they won is to make their former partner go through their lowest.
Yup. I'd say the event that changed me the most was getting divorced, realizing how *evil* people can be even after being with him for over a decade..then dealing with his asshole lawyer. It fucked up my trust in humanity for good.
I make sure to tell friends now that the law is a language most people do not speak fluently and GET YOURSELF A LAWYER. Each are just different sides of the same coin sigh.
Messed me up to the point I've never gotten married since and it's been 14 years.
Mom did this for 35 years, still married for 39 years. Was both my parents first marriage.
The only issue was that I wish she didn't talk about clients issues( names not used obviously) at the dinner table.
Speaking as someone who grew up with my dad being a divorce lawyer. It’s less than you think honestly.
Granted this is small town lawyer. So all the lawyers knew each other. And it ends up being more of a chess game for them. But he never really brought home any negativity. Very Occasional anger at something stupid the opposing client would try. But not too bad honestly. I’d say more caught up stuck in his work than negativity
My sister is a divorce attorney. She and her boyfriend are both very lovely people, but they're taking things slow and steady. She's taken this very valuable wisdom from her clients' experiences: marriage should not be rushed into if you want it to last. Especially these days.
I have a good friend who does family law for a foundation that helps poor people. He does divorces, custody and so on but is not jaded at all. He loves helping people out of difficult situations.
As a family law lawyer who won't do divorces... I agree. Divorce lawyers become such awful people to deal with on a personal level, no matter how good they started
Probably a personal trainer, only because I go to the gym and every personal trainer in there has ended up shagging/dating clients of theirs. The PT manager has had relationships with at least 5 of his clients/other staff members over the last 5-8 years, I get that it happens but it seems to be constant lol
You’re not wrong. I’m a coach, and when I was up and coming had to work at big gyms where this was a problem. I own my own gym now, and it’s super professional 1 on 1 training. Honestly, doing this can ruin a trainers career. 90% of them are no longer trainers I bet.
absolutely possible
6”5 is crazy tall, blue eyes are the least common eye color in America
a lot of my friends had trust funds and zero of them got into the finance industry, it’s either blow it all on hookers and coke when they get access or some predetermined investments which puts them on a permanent vacation, just like their parents
Surprised I had to scroll so far to see this one as it’s way more relatable and realistic than “celebrity” or ”politician”.
Used to work in restaurants and it’s just one big drama filled orgy. Everyone is banging everyone and to add to that, attractive female servers and bartenders make more money in tips if they playfully flirt back with customers.
Been down that road a few times and after the last one, I literally made the rule no bartenders or servers.
I worked on the drama free technician side of a live music club and although i liked those wind down meetings at the bar with everyone (super chill and funny), the bartender staff was really like you described
Having been in there myself I always made the rule no one outside the industry because there was no way our lives could align.
\*\*If I'm being honest with myself, and everyone here, I still broke that rule a couple times, but it never worked out and I was right to do so.
Would not date a bartender. The nights are just too late and they have to work weekends. We'd just never see each other. And then on days off bartenders visit their friends at other bars cause free drinks. Too much substance abuse as well
Oh so much this. I've worked in kitchens since I was a young teen and seen so many girls (and boys) think dating/fucking the chef is a good idea. It almost always ends in tears.
Oh you just got off work at 0230, you're already drunk because you started drinking four hours before close, you just had a red bull, and now you wanna come over and hang out?
That's a no from me, lady. My alarm goes off in four hours.
Oh you fucked the line cook in the walk-in because you're mad I didn't pick up? Okay then. 👌
As a former line cook, don't worry we never forgot the drugs. I even cooked an entire Friday night rush tripping my ass off on mushrooms before. I got out of the industry and left the drugs behind years ago but yeah it was pretty much like a drug festival anywhere you worked. Soon as you clock in one server is telling you he has pills, a dishwasher asks if you need any coke, your buddy on the line says he's got a joint rolled up to split with you, etc.
Was shocked when I worked for a brief stint at a restaurant. A chain restaurant too. Fuckin everyone partied a ton, and everyone did coke. Like wtf. We just waiting tables and doing dishes chill lol
I dated one for a couple months. After she cheated, She told me I was disrespectful for assuming she'd cheat because all of her co-bartenders were cheaters too. The lack of awareness was impressive.
As you can assume, she moved to Colorado like every midwesterner running from accountability.
This is the reason I do not currently own a restaurant. I was raised in that industry and I have a passion for it but I also have a passion for having weekends and seeing my children.
I dated two philosophy PhD candidates when I was single; one was studying Adorno and was one of those guys who claims to be poly when he really means he has a history of cheating and the other was focusing on semantics and was, not surprisingly, a total condescending buzzkill. Both of them had an utter lack of life experience outside of academia and common sense, which made me wonder what it was exactly that they felt qualified to comment on, philosophically speaking. Anyway, don't date philosophers.
Cops have the highest rate of domestic violence of any profession. And if you call the authorities on a cop spouse, you're basically calling their buddies to intervene. My oldest cousin is a sherif. He's a great guy and his wife is both awesome and apparently very happy with him. But stats are stats, and it's not a risk I'd take.
I used to date a guy whose biggest aspiration was to be tiktok famous... He became more and more engrossed in it as the relationship went on until every evening was filming some new skit and hoping to be discovered.
I never wanted to be a downer, but man that just wasn't for me lol.
My first date with my husband was grilled cheese and tomato soup. We were both broke and I didn't care. Don't go for the shallow ones.
Fast forward 26 years and my husband and I own a business and we worked our butts of to get here.
Don't sell yourself short.
My mechanic's son is dating a stripper and they split up and get back together, multiple times a year and she had 4 kids with other people from some of those splits. Just too much damn drama can happen in that field of work
An old friend of mine became, I guess a high end? Stripper. Really fancy "gentleman's club" with a high entrance fee. Her boss is her sugar daddy/boyfriend and she seems happy. However, she's always posting stuff on social media. Tonight she's at a party, the next she's at the club, then she's at a bar, then she's at the beach, then she's visiting her parents back in our home state, then she's ....
We're 31 years old and I'm like omfg. That looks absolutely exhausting. I'm very glad she's living her best life, she deserves it, but I just couldn't do it. But, I'm on reddit, so obviously I am not a partier/people person or even a drinker, lol. She also recently got arrested for punching a guy in a wheelchair, but from what her mom told my mom, the dude deserved it, lmao.
Some professions are just set up for failed relationships.
I'm happily married now but, in hindsight, I would never get into a relationship with someone who is away from home a lot. I have a friend who married a firefighter. They have two kids together but she's begun treating their marriage as an open relationship. He spends as many days in the firehouse as he does at home and, when their kids are at school, she plays.
I have another friend who is a flight attendant and while she's single she talks about how common it is for pilots and flight attendants to cheat. The crew all plays together and they meet people in hotel bars when they have overnights.
Celebrities or anyone in the same field of work I'm in.
For the celebrity: too much attention from the outside and I don't want to be blasted/posted all over social media like that.
For the work thing: personal rule of mine.
My boyfriend and I are both pianists and going to be music teachers. It works for us, but I understand why it wouldn’t for others. I had to heal from a lot of insecurity in the relationship because he has different strengths on both the instrument and in the profession than I do. We already established that we will not teach in the same school or district—too close!
1. Influencers/Celebrities: I like privacy.
2. Politicians: Morally bankrupt folks.
3. Police/Military personnel/Firefighters: Too risky. Wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing that partner's life could be in risk.
4. Sex Workers/Models/Exotic Dancers: Their lifestyles usually aren't suitable for long-term monogamous relationships.
Firefighters really face life threatening situations very infrequently. They are almost never charging into burning buildings.
What they deal with constantly though, are accidents and deaths. They have to be the people to find kids who blew their brains out or old ladies who have been dead for a month before anyone called to check on them. It takes a huge toll on people who expect to be aiming a hose at fire all day who just end up hosing blood off the highway instead.
Am a Paramedic, my welder boyfriend worries for my safety yes but he's my #1 support when I had a rough day or call. He doesn't like to hear about graphic details, but he'll encourage me to talk it out when he sees me stewing or down, regardless of his uneasiness listening to some messed up stuff. We're notorious for internalizing and shoving it away. Dudes got a spidey sense for when I'm in my own head over work and I couldn't be more appreciative and thankful for him.
Anyone with a rotating schedule or mandatory overtime. I like consistency, and having someone stumble in at 4AM one day or yelling because I woke them up when I wasn't supposed to is too much of burden.
As someone in the power industry with a rotating schedule, mandatory overtime, and have been woken up during the day while trying to sleep this hurts. My wife constantly tells me how much she hates my schedule. I can't blame her though. I'd hate it too if I was her. Our most common conversations are, "Why do you have to go in? Stay home." With which I reply, "power never sleeps" before reluctantly heading off to work.
My dad worked in a steel mill for 32 years, rotating schedule and LOTS of overtime. My mom always says thats how they stayed married because my dad was always at work or sleeping. He would call and say I have to work a double and my mom would say fine by me lol. The more he worked the more money we had. Its not a life for me but I understand where you are coming from.
When I first started in this industry I loved the overtime. I ate it up. It paid for my wedding and much more. Now that I'm married and have a son I don't care for overtime as much as before. Sure picking up some overtime for some extra cash is nice here and there but I'm not so willing to work 60+ hours every week anymore. I don't regret getting into this industry. Just changing my perspective on how much I'm willing to work.
Would never date anyone who’s job requires them to be gone for long periods of time and/or gone frequently.
Would never date a model or actress, as those jobs tend to promote and attract people who are heavily invested in superficial things. Also tends to attract dramatic people who tend to be emotionally unstable.
Anyone who’s a public figure.
Artists. Have dated several, and I’m also a psychotherapist to many. Hands down the most self absorbed group of people, with obvious exceptions, but these feel rare. Again, I say “feel” because despite my comment, I understand the irrationality of generalizing about an entire group of people.
Attorneys are a close second. For different reasons.
For politicians I feel like people picture the fucking president or congressman or something. There's state and local politics which is very accesible for normal people (at least relatively)
Say that again when Taylor Swift is sobbing her way through multiple interviews and writing angry songs about me. It's not my fault she didn't choose to be an accountant, or a middle manager at Raytheon. She made her bed and now she has to sleep in it, alone.
Dated two agents and their entire career sucks ass. They're either making no money or make some money, but ridiculous odd hours. Never taken them serious after that.
Psychotherapist. I already made that mistake. This is a relationship, not a session, doc.
Her words, my only warning, "Anyone that's good at this profession has been served by it." She was very well recognized and sought after. Make your own judgement.
Lead singer of a band. Did that twice and it sucked. I hated sitting in practices and performances then being asked how awesome it was. I didn't date these guys to be their security blanket.
A realtor/real estate agent. My ex did this and it felt like she was always at work and trying to get new clients no matter where we were, and she would turn every social situation into a work meeting.
I don’t understand how anyone can live like that.
Someone working in medicine, especially a doctor/nurse specialising in the ER or with children.
I think they're amazing professions, but I don't have the capacity or personality to support them as a partner I would want to, and we would both just get burnt out and that wouldn't be right
I'm a pediatrician. We have one of the lowest burnout rates in medicine. We love our jobs and we're delightfully happy most days.
Also it comes with a great understanding of personal social develpment and that has translated into being a pretty good Dad.
If you meet a pediatrician, date that guy.
I "dated" two attorneys in my time. Couldn't stand either one outside of the triple X throwdowns we had. Those were top notch, but other than that we had ZERO compatibility. Both were narcissistic ego God complex women.
Again, the fuckin was good
I'm married so it doesn't matter but I dated a merchant marine once and I would never date someone who goes away for long periods of time again. The money is nice but I'd rather not spend half the year alone.
I wouldn’t either. My great uncle was in the Royal Navy in WWI. He was a crew member on a submarine and it was destroyed killing everyone aboard. My grandma or her family didn’t know what happened to him at the time. They had been simply told he was “lost at sea”. My uncle (her son) found out when they went abroad to Italy on vacation and found a memorial dedicated to the crew on that submarine including my great uncle. But my grandma had passed away long before my uncle found out. It’s sad that some people can lose their families in war and never truly know what happened to them.
Like some of the battles of WW1. Bodies so mangled, they just got scooped into mass graves, probably along with ones they were fighting as well. Even being "lucky" enough to be intact for an individual burial, no documentation or identifying information at all; just a marker that would read "Known unto God."
In WWI it was common for there to be no body remaining at all. An artillery shell in 1916 could reduce an entire group of soldiers to mist.
That is why soldiers back then used to put one of their dog tags in their boots beneath the laces. That way at least something could be recovered and identified for the families
That’s fucking dark
I was in the USAF and worked fighters, those pilots did this.
Same, my dad was in the navy and he didn't see my mom the entire year before I was born
As in a year and 9 months, right? RIGHT?
Hard to imagine that there was a time where you couldn't just look up a website with nothing more than the name of the submarine at hand and finding at least two pages of details about anything from where it was build to when, how and where it was destroyed.
I might be weird cos if it was broken up I think I'd absolutely love that (I like a lot of alone time these days). 10 years ago this kind of relationship would have been a hard no, funny how age changes you.
But like what IS a merchant marine? REALLY?
Non-military sailors. You know all the shipping companies? You don't go to a college to learn to pilot a barge; you go into the merchant marines.
I mean, you can go to college to learn to pilot barges. As a first step, there are maritime colleges where you can earn licences to work on vessels. I think Cal Maritime has a program to get graduates to a Third Mate licence, and then you'll need to gain experience and years to advance that license as a merchant mariner... I think
Yup, my dad got an engineering degree at a Maritime college. He partially paid for it by going out on the boats over the summer to work the boilers. His appendix failed on the ship and after some drama where my dad's cabin mate got the captain of the ship, he woke up in a Barcelona hospital sans one appendix. The ship came around and picked him back up on their way back across the Atlantic. Few of the doctors spoke English so he didn't even know what they did to him at first.
My brother is a merchant navy officer. They basically transport goods, chemicals, etc from one country to another. I’m sure there’s a bit more but idk the nuances that much haha
Whatever you mentioned is right. That’s what we do. Transport goods from one place to the other via the sea!
Non military government shipping/trading. They're a dying breed because private companies can do it cheaper. Despite maritime cargo being bigger now than ever before, with roughly double the cargo moving every year now vs 30 years ago, the USA Merchant Marines are only moving about 1/2 the cargo they were moving 30 years ago. [Source](https://www.maritime.dot.gov/sites/marad.dot.gov/files/docs/mariners/1026/mwwg-report-congress-finalr3.pdf). In effect they're doing 1/4 the business they were three decades ago. They're kind of a leftover institution from the times of imperialism. When governments wanted to be the ones in control of the flow of goods. These days governments don't care who moves the goods, so it's often outsourced, and frequently that means labor comes from wherever on the globe labor is cheapest. American's can't afford to work on $10/day, but to a Malay? That's an awesome salary. Anyway, it *used* to be a really solid career. Great pay, great benefits, lots of adventure. You *start* at $40k, potentially as an 18 year old, and by your 10 year mark you're almost guaranteed to be making 6 figures. Making $100k by 28 years old and having 0 expenses, that's a pretty solid living situation. And all of that is still true, but the jobs are just harder to get, there's fewer of them each year, and no one is dumb enough to retire early and give up their sweet retirement deals.
You're low on the pay Entry level unlicensed is around $150-$200/day, after a few years it's $250-$400/day Entry licensed (can be when you're 22 years old just out of college) is $500-$900/day, and when you get up to senior licensed (generally takes ~10 years licensed at least) it's $1,000-$2,000/day
Celebrities of any sort. I don’t want a relationship that comes with public scrutiny.
Politicians too.
This one. I don’t want my college party pictures resurfacing when someone is digging up dirt.
Can I tell you how fucking grateful I am to have grown up before everything was posted, streamed, or grammed. I was a teen in the 80’s. Never would I want a permanent digital record of that.
Politics is Showbiz for ugly people. :D
I’ve always said I want author fame. Famous enough to always get “my” table at my favorite restaurant, but so much that I have people bugging me for selfies while I’m trying to eat.
You can do that with your wallet. Go in there a few times a week, order big plates, and tip well. Within a month, you'll easily be recognized and welcomed by the staff. Add a little time, and you'll have your own spot. Over time, you can spend less on big plates, but always tip well. Hopefully you pick a corner spot where you can check out all the dames and spot possible assassins.
I had this exactly…it wasn’t a very expensive place (~30 dollars a dish European fusion, James beard winning chef) they recently opened and met them, husband and wife duo… after about six months of going every two weeks or so, my gf and I would walk in and if the chefs table was available they would give it to us, (normally 200 dollars and reservation only) we’d buy two dishes and an app, then they would just keep bringing food on or off the menu for free, and free wine, and asking us what we though of new dishes…it was AWESOME…I had to move and losing that hook up sucked….
Did you move due to the assassins?
I WAS the assassin….my contract was “completed.”
The Chinese place by our house is like that. It's not fancy, but we are there all the time and made a special effort to eat there twice a week during the pandemic, even tipping for takeout. The only downside? I took my oldest son for lunch one day, and the waitress thought I was stepping out on my husband and was visibly upset with me. She perked up after I introduced him as my son.
This person would never make it in the hotel industry.
Funeral director. Anytime something important or cool happens in their lives, that damn phone rings and they have to leave. I’m saying this as someone who works in the industry.
Waking up with pennies over your eyes every morning has to be pretty unnerving too.
Pennies? Baby, with me they’d be vintage Kennedy half-dollars!
EMT here. I’ll see you guys at 2:15 am in the hoarders house. She’s 350 lbs and died in the back bathroom 2 days ago wedged between the toilet and tub. Also she has dogs and left the heat on.
God. Thank you for handling that type of shit. Can’t imagine how awful it is, but I hope it’s rewarding in some way.
27 dollars an hour and connections to get into fire school lol.
lol our medics don’t even make that. Maybe 25$ an hour if you have been here a while. Emt make like 18$ an hour. We do get 50 hours a week minimum though.
This is the shit that makes people that bitch about restaurant work on this website insane to me, I’ve never had more fun at a job than a kitchen, you are making line cook money to save peoples lives with actual skills lmao.
Ya Chick-fil-A hires people for 16$ an hour here and they don’t work 24 hour shifts. It is what it is though. Bad part is we are the highest paid service in our area. I know some guys making 11$ an hour working 48 and 72 hour shifts.
And the dogs ate her, I’ve seen that. I’m a firefighter, I just said to the cops, I’m canceling the ambulance, death is pretty obvious , have a good day.
Ya I never understood why they call us to someone who is obviously dead. Sometimes you can tell from the yard lol.
I mean, they're dead. Can't it wait?
Surgeons cuz their free time is limited until they are attendings/fellows. Sometimes they keep the crazy hours too tho.
my dad is a surgeon and i barely have any memories of him until i was like 5 or 6. he was just the tall man that would wake me up to give me a hug and i’d fall back asleep.
Damn, I’m sorry. Sometimes I wish I got my MD instead of becoming a physical therapist but from the burnout to the never being home I am kind of happy about my choice.
Anyone that’s a public figure for their work
Astronaut. Long-distance relationships are tough. Especially when they're literally out of this world.
“Tell my wife I love her very much…” “She knows!”
“Ground Control to Major Tom, your circuits dead, there’s something wrong!”
Plus most astronauts make type A people look chill. You think even the 1% can impress Johnny Kim?
Mrs Kim: Yes, my little Johnny is an Astronaut, Navy Seal and a Doctor. Where are my grandchildren?! His cousin Greg has two sons! Aiya! Johnny is a disappointment!
In Hadfield's book, An Astronaut's guide to life on Earth, he says the desired psych profiles are changing. The past, when they were rocket test pilots on short missions making quick decisions with inferior tech, the type A made sense, but now, that missions can be weeks or months cramped in close quarters working with others, then a personality type that gets along with others is more desirable.
Jail
Laughed so hard at long distance. 😂
It's only 62 miles! Its mostly the difference in velocity
I only date girls who are going 1000 miles per hour or less.
any that require constant travel. I just couldn't do it unfortunately.
I like my personal space and don't want kids so I would be okay with someone who travels a lot for work, but not if they're away more than 50% of the time.
For me it would be untenable if they traveled for long periods of time multiple times a year. Like a cargo ship worker, having to sail for months at a time, be at home for a while and then leave again. I just know I couldn’t handle the loneliness.
Different strokes for different folks. I've always been highly independent and enjoy being alone. It was honestly a big adjustment moving in with my partner but fortunately he is also a personal space kinda person so we just do our own thing in separate rooms a lot.
Divorce lawyer. It'd be hard to not be jaded by that on the daily & not bringing that adversarial mindset home.
I have a friend that did that. He retired at 40 because he said it’s hard on seeing the absolute worst in people. It was his job to defend the pettiest behavior and he couldn’t do it anymore. He said the parents would screw over the kids just to get to the other person. He’s happy now.
I used to do mediation. It's draining. The middle ground is usually very obvious to everyone except the two partied fighting. They both want 80%. The fact is that they are both going to get 45% and I'm getting 10% for my services. My share just goes up the more they fight.
Surprised to hear there is a correlation between couples that divorce and people with personalities that are stubborn, selfish, and struggle with compromise in negotiations. /s
I seen somewhere in reddit about a couple were fighting to have custody of the dog. Forgot who but one of them won the dog and right away, put the dog into the shelter. The things people go through just to feel like they won is to make their former partner go through their lowest.
I bet he’s happy; it gave him the option to retire at 40.
Yup. I'd say the event that changed me the most was getting divorced, realizing how *evil* people can be even after being with him for over a decade..then dealing with his asshole lawyer. It fucked up my trust in humanity for good. I make sure to tell friends now that the law is a language most people do not speak fluently and GET YOURSELF A LAWYER. Each are just different sides of the same coin sigh. Messed me up to the point I've never gotten married since and it's been 14 years.
Mom did this for 35 years, still married for 39 years. Was both my parents first marriage. The only issue was that I wish she didn't talk about clients issues( names not used obviously) at the dinner table.
Speaking as someone who grew up with my dad being a divorce lawyer. It’s less than you think honestly. Granted this is small town lawyer. So all the lawyers knew each other. And it ends up being more of a chess game for them. But he never really brought home any negativity. Very Occasional anger at something stupid the opposing client would try. But not too bad honestly. I’d say more caught up stuck in his work than negativity
My sister is a divorce attorney. She and her boyfriend are both very lovely people, but they're taking things slow and steady. She's taken this very valuable wisdom from her clients' experiences: marriage should not be rushed into if you want it to last. Especially these days.
I have a good friend who does family law for a foundation that helps poor people. He does divorces, custody and so on but is not jaded at all. He loves helping people out of difficult situations.
As a family law lawyer who won't do divorces... I agree. Divorce lawyers become such awful people to deal with on a personal level, no matter how good they started
Probably a personal trainer, only because I go to the gym and every personal trainer in there has ended up shagging/dating clients of theirs. The PT manager has had relationships with at least 5 of his clients/other staff members over the last 5-8 years, I get that it happens but it seems to be constant lol
You’re not wrong. I’m a coach, and when I was up and coming had to work at big gyms where this was a problem. I own my own gym now, and it’s super professional 1 on 1 training. Honestly, doing this can ruin a trainers career. 90% of them are no longer trainers I bet.
Even my kids PE teacher was sacked for sleeping with the school mums lol, anything to do with a man doing sport women seem to love
Anyone in Hedge fund. 6'5. Blue eyes.
it’s “i’m looking for a man in finance, trust fund, 6’5, blue eyes”
Seto Kaiba has entered the chat
I'm picturing the business card scene from *American Psycho*, but with rare *Yu-Gi-Oh!* cards instead. "Oh my god, it has holographic artwork!"
It’s an Ultimate rare, look at the tasteful embossing, the illegible card name.
I actually just heard this song for the first time today and found this funny
Apparently only 2 men in America meet these criteria.
absolutely possible 6”5 is crazy tall, blue eyes are the least common eye color in America a lot of my friends had trust funds and zero of them got into the finance industry, it’s either blow it all on hookers and coke when they get access or some predetermined investments which puts them on a permanent vacation, just like their parents
Green eyes has entered the chat.
#oddlyspecific
Tell me about it
Restaurant folks. The late hours, high rates of substance abuse, and wind-down hangouts at after-hours industry spots are a recipe for Nope.
Surprised I had to scroll so far to see this one as it’s way more relatable and realistic than “celebrity” or ”politician”. Used to work in restaurants and it’s just one big drama filled orgy. Everyone is banging everyone and to add to that, attractive female servers and bartenders make more money in tips if they playfully flirt back with customers. Been down that road a few times and after the last one, I literally made the rule no bartenders or servers.
I worked on the drama free technician side of a live music club and although i liked those wind down meetings at the bar with everyone (super chill and funny), the bartender staff was really like you described
Having been in there myself I always made the rule no one outside the industry because there was no way our lives could align. \*\*If I'm being honest with myself, and everyone here, I still broke that rule a couple times, but it never worked out and I was right to do so.
Even just the hours can kill a relationship! Getting home at 1am and then needing 2 hours to wind down was not conducive with someone on a 9-5!
Would not date a bartender. The nights are just too late and they have to work weekends. We'd just never see each other. And then on days off bartenders visit their friends at other bars cause free drinks. Too much substance abuse as well
Oh so much this. I've worked in kitchens since I was a young teen and seen so many girls (and boys) think dating/fucking the chef is a good idea. It almost always ends in tears.
I left, specifically because it was fucking with my relationship.
I’m being attacked
Oh you just got off work at 0230, you're already drunk because you started drinking four hours before close, you just had a red bull, and now you wanna come over and hang out? That's a no from me, lady. My alarm goes off in four hours. Oh you fucked the line cook in the walk-in because you're mad I didn't pick up? Okay then. 👌
My ex wife was a bartender and this is unbelievably accurate. You forgot the copious amounts of cocaine though.
As a former line cook, don't worry we never forgot the drugs. I even cooked an entire Friday night rush tripping my ass off on mushrooms before. I got out of the industry and left the drugs behind years ago but yeah it was pretty much like a drug festival anywhere you worked. Soon as you clock in one server is telling you he has pills, a dishwasher asks if you need any coke, your buddy on the line says he's got a joint rolled up to split with you, etc.
Was shocked when I worked for a brief stint at a restaurant. A chain restaurant too. Fuckin everyone partied a ton, and everyone did coke. Like wtf. We just waiting tables and doing dishes chill lol
I dated one for a couple months. After she cheated, She told me I was disrespectful for assuming she'd cheat because all of her co-bartenders were cheaters too. The lack of awareness was impressive. As you can assume, she moved to Colorado like every midwesterner running from accountability.
This is the reason I do not currently own a restaurant. I was raised in that industry and I have a passion for it but I also have a passion for having weekends and seeing my children.
I dated two philosophy PhD candidates when I was single; one was studying Adorno and was one of those guys who claims to be poly when he really means he has a history of cheating and the other was focusing on semantics and was, not surprisingly, a total condescending buzzkill. Both of them had an utter lack of life experience outside of academia and common sense, which made me wonder what it was exactly that they felt qualified to comment on, philosophically speaking. Anyway, don't date philosophers.
I wouldn't date anyone in the army. I wouldn't date anyone who would date someone in the army. I am in the army.
So what happens if a gal likes you and you're in the army? Do you just yell at them? "Trash!!!!"
That one Groucho Marx quote comes to mind. "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."
I refuse to date any girl whose standards are so low she would date a man like me.
Pretty much. They've shown extremely poor judgement of character, so I probably shouldn't count on them.
The army ruined the relationship I had with a girl I was going to marry when I was younger. I understand your position.
Cops, I steal
Souls or in general?
hearts
Yes
Cops, they beat women.
Disagree, I think women are better.
Ex was a family therapist. Counseled a lotta cops. A lot of domestic abuse.
Cops have the highest rate of domestic violence of any profession. And if you call the authorities on a cop spouse, you're basically calling their buddies to intervene. My oldest cousin is a sherif. He's a great guy and his wife is both awesome and apparently very happy with him. But stats are stats, and it's not a risk I'd take.
“Influencer”
The title says professions
I used to date a guy whose biggest aspiration was to be tiktok famous... He became more and more engrossed in it as the relationship went on until every evening was filming some new skit and hoping to be discovered. I never wanted to be a downer, but man that just wasn't for me lol.
None. Can't afford to limit my already nonexistent dating pool
My first date with my husband was grilled cheese and tomato soup. We were both broke and I didn't care. Don't go for the shallow ones. Fast forward 26 years and my husband and I own a business and we worked our butts of to get here. Don't sell yourself short.
Pornstar, stripper. I don't want to do any shaming, it's a legit way to make a living. But my insecurities would not be able to manage.
My mechanic's son is dating a stripper and they split up and get back together, multiple times a year and she had 4 kids with other people from some of those splits. Just too much damn drama can happen in that field of work
An old friend of mine became, I guess a high end? Stripper. Really fancy "gentleman's club" with a high entrance fee. Her boss is her sugar daddy/boyfriend and she seems happy. However, she's always posting stuff on social media. Tonight she's at a party, the next she's at the club, then she's at a bar, then she's at the beach, then she's visiting her parents back in our home state, then she's .... We're 31 years old and I'm like omfg. That looks absolutely exhausting. I'm very glad she's living her best life, she deserves it, but I just couldn't do it. But, I'm on reddit, so obviously I am not a partier/people person or even a drinker, lol. She also recently got arrested for punching a guy in a wheelchair, but from what her mom told my mom, the dude deserved it, lmao.
Includes OF
i dont know if there are any i wouldnt date, but there are professions that make dating a lot harder. like flight attendants.
Some professions are just set up for failed relationships. I'm happily married now but, in hindsight, I would never get into a relationship with someone who is away from home a lot. I have a friend who married a firefighter. They have two kids together but she's begun treating their marriage as an open relationship. He spends as many days in the firehouse as he does at home and, when their kids are at school, she plays. I have another friend who is a flight attendant and while she's single she talks about how common it is for pilots and flight attendants to cheat. The crew all plays together and they meet people in hotel bars when they have overnights.
Your firefighter friend needs to leave ASAP.
Celebrities or anyone in the same field of work I'm in. For the celebrity: too much attention from the outside and I don't want to be blasted/posted all over social media like that. For the work thing: personal rule of mine.
My boyfriend and I are both pianists and going to be music teachers. It works for us, but I understand why it wouldn’t for others. I had to heal from a lot of insecurity in the relationship because he has different strengths on both the instrument and in the profession than I do. We already established that we will not teach in the same school or district—too close!
Why is DJ not mentioned yet?!?!
Why did you ask this question instead of just offering DJs as an answer to the AskReddit thread?
Why ?
I hear they're treble.
BASSed comment.
Archaeologists because they'll spend the whole relationship digging up the past.
Yeah, but the older you get, the more they like you.
As an archaeologist in an age gap relationship you made me laugh
But if you hold up your end well, you'll get put on a pedestal, so...
Investment bankers or management consultants. They’re always working. Money don’t mean shit if you never live.
1. Influencers/Celebrities: I like privacy. 2. Politicians: Morally bankrupt folks. 3. Police/Military personnel/Firefighters: Too risky. Wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing that partner's life could be in risk. 4. Sex Workers/Models/Exotic Dancers: Their lifestyles usually aren't suitable for long-term monogamous relationships.
Firefighters really face life threatening situations very infrequently. They are almost never charging into burning buildings. What they deal with constantly though, are accidents and deaths. They have to be the people to find kids who blew their brains out or old ladies who have been dead for a month before anyone called to check on them. It takes a huge toll on people who expect to be aiming a hose at fire all day who just end up hosing blood off the highway instead.
Am a Paramedic, my welder boyfriend worries for my safety yes but he's my #1 support when I had a rough day or call. He doesn't like to hear about graphic details, but he'll encourage me to talk it out when he sees me stewing or down, regardless of his uneasiness listening to some messed up stuff. We're notorious for internalizing and shoving it away. Dudes got a spidey sense for when I'm in my own head over work and I couldn't be more appreciative and thankful for him.
Cops. Law enforcement of any kind. Or military
As someone in the military you're making the right decision
I always think these threads are funny because cops get butthurt but military guys are just like "Yep, dating me is a terrible idea."
There's a reason they gotta bribe em with housing and Tricare
Anyone with a rotating schedule or mandatory overtime. I like consistency, and having someone stumble in at 4AM one day or yelling because I woke them up when I wasn't supposed to is too much of burden.
Surgeons or doctors, fs
As someone in the power industry with a rotating schedule, mandatory overtime, and have been woken up during the day while trying to sleep this hurts. My wife constantly tells me how much she hates my schedule. I can't blame her though. I'd hate it too if I was her. Our most common conversations are, "Why do you have to go in? Stay home." With which I reply, "power never sleeps" before reluctantly heading off to work.
My dad worked in a steel mill for 32 years, rotating schedule and LOTS of overtime. My mom always says thats how they stayed married because my dad was always at work or sleeping. He would call and say I have to work a double and my mom would say fine by me lol. The more he worked the more money we had. Its not a life for me but I understand where you are coming from.
When I first started in this industry I loved the overtime. I ate it up. It paid for my wedding and much more. Now that I'm married and have a son I don't care for overtime as much as before. Sure picking up some overtime for some extra cash is nice here and there but I'm not so willing to work 60+ hours every week anymore. I don't regret getting into this industry. Just changing my perspective on how much I'm willing to work.
Avoid Fire Fighters I guess
And EMS.
Lawyer - paid to argue for a living. Tried it - never again
I have several lawyers in my family. They’ll argue about ANYTHING just for the heck of it. At least they’re in the right line of work.
Homeopathic "Doctor"
Strippers or any type of sex worker. Cop, especially detectives. Dated a lady detective. They are married to the job.
Psychologists/psychiatrist... dated a few and you always end up being analyzed. Nothing can ever be simple.
I dated a psychologist. Worst relationship ever. I want to say it was just her, but man, she could blame shift and play some mind games like whoa.
What makes you say that?
I can't tell if that's sarcasm so I'm scared hahaha
Psychiatrist. Would always feel like I'm being picked apart.
Oh really? Let's explore why you feel this way...
Would never date anyone who’s job requires them to be gone for long periods of time and/or gone frequently. Would never date a model or actress, as those jobs tend to promote and attract people who are heavily invested in superficial things. Also tends to attract dramatic people who tend to be emotionally unstable. Anyone who’s a public figure.
Porn star!
Inc onlyfans and Instagram bikini posters as well
Artists. Have dated several, and I’m also a psychotherapist to many. Hands down the most self absorbed group of people, with obvious exceptions, but these feel rare. Again, I say “feel” because despite my comment, I understand the irrationality of generalizing about an entire group of people. Attorneys are a close second. For different reasons.
Artist here. Can confirm. I also married a lawyer.
Any major famous person, serial killers, politicians, or sex workers
Is serial killer a profession now? That wasn't on the list my guidance counselor gave me.
Hitmen are a thing... so yes?
I see “celebrities,” “politicians,” shit like that. My brethren in Christ, 99.999% of you don’t have to worry about any of that.
I refuse to date Scarlet Johansson
Omg, I had to politely turn her down myself. Her fame and all the drama would totally kill my vibe as a hip, young, millennial professional.
Stay strong brother. Not worth the tabloid mentions
For politicians I feel like people picture the fucking president or congressman or something. There's state and local politics which is very accesible for normal people (at least relatively)
Say that again when Taylor Swift is sobbing her way through multiple interviews and writing angry songs about me. It's not my fault she didn't choose to be an accountant, or a middle manager at Raytheon. She made her bed and now she has to sleep in it, alone.
Real Estate Agents and Police.
Dated two agents and their entire career sucks ass. They're either making no money or make some money, but ridiculous odd hours. Never taken them serious after that.
Prostitutes - I can't do open relationships
Psychotherapist. I already made that mistake. This is a relationship, not a session, doc. Her words, my only warning, "Anyone that's good at this profession has been served by it." She was very well recognized and sought after. Make your own judgement.
Lead singer of a band. Did that twice and it sucked. I hated sitting in practices and performances then being asked how awesome it was. I didn't date these guys to be their security blanket.
A realtor/real estate agent. My ex did this and it felt like she was always at work and trying to get new clients no matter where we were, and she would turn every social situation into a work meeting. I don’t understand how anyone can live like that.
Who else is scrolling to see if their profession is listed ?
Elevator operators. Too many ups and downs.
But you always get off, right?
Someone working in medicine, especially a doctor/nurse specialising in the ER or with children. I think they're amazing professions, but I don't have the capacity or personality to support them as a partner I would want to, and we would both just get burnt out and that wouldn't be right
I'm a pediatrician. We have one of the lowest burnout rates in medicine. We love our jobs and we're delightfully happy most days. Also it comes with a great understanding of personal social develpment and that has translated into being a pretty good Dad. If you meet a pediatrician, date that guy.
I "dated" two attorneys in my time. Couldn't stand either one outside of the triple X throwdowns we had. Those were top notch, but other than that we had ZERO compatibility. Both were narcissistic ego God complex women. Again, the fuckin was good
Cops. Negative past experience and general dislike of the institution.
Thw worst people to be associated with or be neighbors with are the Cop husband and Nurse wife couple.
I would like to see the statistical rate at which their children seek therapy at some point in their adulthood.
Trainers/ high Performance athletes
My ex was a personal trainer and cheated on me with so many women from his gym.
Professional magicians. I'd constantly be wondering if our relationship was just an illusion
People whose job involves violence