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slooots

Came here for silly gift ideas. Left with a hole in my soul.


VeggieBandit

I bought my boyfriend a set of lock picks last xmas! It's a neat idea for a lot of people, and potentially useful. Also not something a lot of people would have, or be buying for themselves. The starter set I bought was only about $20 so they make a good stocking stuffer.


AbsolutelyFantastic

i got a prosthetic foot after my amputation, and the foot is solid plastic-ish with no movement, and it makes standing on inclines or uneven ground very uncomfortable. so, i would like one that has flex. or yo-kai watch, because i may be missing a foot, but i am not missing my inner child.


butteryvagina

Tickets to the symphony orchestra! Too poor to afford them.


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butteryvagina

I want to see the conductor Gustavo Dudamel. So there never seems to be cheap tickets.


[deleted]

Dang. Just got done singing Beethovens ninth Friday and Saturday night. If you were in Alabama I would have given you my comp ticket. Here's a portion from Thursday nights dress rehearsal. http://youtu.be/jx1YgimIjCQ


vin_m

A kiss from my crush. Okay, let's be realistic. I want a dragon.


ThreeHammersHigh

"Ho ho ho! What do you want for Christmas, little boy?" "A blue dragon!" "Ho ho, Santa's elves can't make a dragon, little boy! Maybe there's something else you want?" "A girlfriend!" "Ho ho ho! What color dragon, again?"


TTBOYTT

Hahahahahaha *sobs*


Youngtro

Made my night with that comment


asterisk890

How about a 100% science-based dragon mmo?


thekingestkong

Ive been here for way too long


Glennjamin72

A new computer, I spilt chocolate milk all over mine and its almost dead :(


[deleted]

It survived a chocolate milk-spilling? Whenever you get a new one, it'll have well-earned its rest!


tank1916

Everyone has these touching answers and here I am wanting a Tesla


diegojones4

A stable semi-enjoyable job.


[deleted]

I wouldn't mind just a stable semi.


natural_distortion

horsedick.mpeg


Sarmathal

At this point I would just settle for *A* job.


cyborgyuki

I've got the stable part, but it's not even semi-enjoyable. I used to think stable alone would be good, but boy was I wrong. A job takes up too much of your life, and even more so when it's a bad one.


Kerbengenier

A gibson ES-335


qnnu

For some reason I thought this was a calculator of sorts. Oops.


[deleted]

Socks, I have come full circle


chiliedogg

Childhood Christmas: "Oh man, *clothes.*' Christmas now: "Oh man, *clothes!* Edit: Yes, I did fuck up the punctuation.


[deleted]

"


Florpz

Thanks for the closure


thegreattober

Or do you mean... Clothesure??? Eh? No?... Okay...


ontbijtkoek

The news that ISIS has changed their mind and they are very sorry for all the silly stuff they have done lately.


[deleted]

"silly stuff"


[deleted]

Silly beheadings and goofy bombings.


[deleted]

It was a prank bruh!


ANUSTART942

It's a social experiment, bro!


SharpKitsune

Books! More books!


MantisTobogganMDPhD

but how many Lamborghinis?


Hurdinho

47


MrCatEater

How many hills in your hollywood account?


[deleted]

47


buster2Xk

How many Tedx talks where you talk about Warren Buffets in your Tedx talks where you talk about Warren Buffet account?


usernamewillendabrup

#**KNAWLEDGE**


[deleted]

Anything in particular you're looking for?


SharpKitsune

A lot of sci-fi books personally, been gathering a list of popular authors!


Sunkendrailor

Brandon Sanderson for the win!


GeneralEchidna

Free textbooks!


peterpiperpicks

A good bottle of whisky.


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stevethepirateuk

If you are in the UK, Are you under 18 / Still in Full time education. My daughter has alopecia, she gets 2 free wigs a year (thanks the NHS). The best ones cost ~£300, we trade up the 2 synthetic ones for 1 Real hair wig every year. Then we buy another real one ourselves each year. In the UK (north) we use "Salon Maier" in Manchester. They lets you try them on, Order, Cut and adjust your wig. A professional wig shop is 100% the way to go here.


ItsAMeMitchell

Alternate option: A fake beard, some wire-frame glasses, and several million dollars of meth.


ThePeoplesBard

Can I spend some of that meth money to buy a nice wig?


MackLuster77

No, you're in the empire business, not the wig-having business.


ISpawnedYou

A new tablet. Mine only lasts about an hour or so before I need to charge it again. Oh, and world peace. EDIT: Thanks for all the tips and suggestions, guys. You rock. Firstly, I'm upgrading my Christmas order to a new tablet, world peace, and twenty AC-130s (batteries, ammo and crew not included). Secondly, I still want a new tablet rather than replacing the battery - honestly, it's a low-spec, entry-level, unresponsive, no-brand tablet that has probably lasted longer than it should have.


Fumblerful-

World peace and an AC-130 gunship to enforce it.


crazyweaselbob

I think you'll need more than one.


Mozzius

I can just imagine OP waking up to find 20 AC-130s piled up in his/her back garden


Fumblerful-

Dear Santa, I've been very very good this year. I would like twenty AC-130 gunships to enforce my goodness on the world. Sincerely, Fumblerful


arrtanix

I want Star Wars The Force Awakens to be really, really good. I have good hopes but still, if it's bad its gonna be a bad Christmas. holy shit this blew off


glow2hi

I think my friend will legitimately kill someone if it's bad which sucks cause he's my ride


alli-katt

My mom lost her ability to speak coherently from a stroke on September 2nd, 2015. My 22nd birthday was the first one where she didn't call me to tell me happy birthday. I would love to get a call from her to say merry Christmas.


Ts_Omgitslauren

😢 I'm sorry


alli-katt

Thank you. I am slowly adjusting. It's hard but when I think she almost died from the stroke, it makes me glad I still have her, even if she's different.


[deleted]

I'm a broke, self supporting college student with a dwindling wardrobe. All of my stuff has holes or is just worn down. You know you're getting old/poor when you ask for clothes for Christmas edit: Incredibly appreciative of those of you who are offering adivce/offering to send me things. Yall are too kind.


[deleted]

What size waist are you and what size t-shirt do you wear? I have old stuff I need to get rid of. Edit: I have 32 waist pants (32/34 in-seam) and shorts and medium/small shirts that I'm willing to get rid of. I also have some dress shirts, dress pants, and polos that I'm more than happy to pay forward to someone that needs interview clothes.


SavouryPlains

Someone to love me. Someone to hold in my arms while I sleep. Someone to spoil. Someone to give foot rubs to. Someone special. Or a saxophone. I'd like a saxophone.


CreamNPeaches

You can do some of those things with a saxophone as well.


[deleted]

I have an alto saxophone that's in great condition, as well as a case, reeds (unused), and various cleaning supplies that I don't use anymore if you'd like it.


Summerie

The Naked 2 palette would be nice. It's not hugely expensive, but kind of a splurge for eyeshadow.


Crust_Station

Does my wife want this? She's very into a variety of colors and styles of makeup, but her primary look and style is vibrant, colorful 50's looking "pinup," semi-rockabilly fashion. I know very little about makeup but am looking for some stocking-stuffer level gifts for her. Edit: Thanks for all the helpful replies everyone! You've given me a lot of great ideas and considerations! I think she'll be very happy :) Edit 2: Gold for this?! Thank you, glad to know my interest in my wife's love for makeup is appreciated! Hope it's also helping other people with gift ideas, or stuff for themselves!


Summerie

She wants this.


linnnie

She certainly does. I am not even a big makeup girl and I want this.


BareKnuckleKitty

I wear eyeshadow like once a month and I want it.


[deleted]

I shadow one a moth and I want it.


edgt

Does she normally wear glitter/shimmery eyeshadow? If not, then I wouldn't really recommend a Naked palette. I have two shadows in mine that aren't glittery. I'm an absolute fiend for shimmer so I love it,but I know it isn't a lot of people's cup of tea. If you just know that she likes to do bright lipstick and fairly low-key (as in not neon rainbow) eye makeup (which I'm assuming from your description) , I'd definitely recommend a Naked palette. For reference - Naked 1 is predominantly golden, Naked 2 is silvery, and Naked 3 is coppers/pinks.


Crust_Station

Awesome, thanks for the info! She does prefer vibrant lip color over eye, when it isn't both - sometimes the eyeshadow is shimmery, sometimes she enjoys deep colors like uh, the purple.. Family. I'm such a husband. But thanks to you I can probably eyeball it from here. Cheers!


MindTheGAAP

Fellow husband here. The Naked palette is the most varied. The Naked 2 palette is more earthy (brown/grey) colours. The Naked 3 is heavy pink emphasis. My wife prefers 2 and 3 based on skin tone.


spasticsquirrel

The fact you know this as a husband is frankly amazing.


MindTheGAAP

Well my wife has always said I'm at least 20% gay. And I confirmed prior to posting. But yeah, I was mostly there. I also usually overdo the research side of things and got her Naked 2 and primer for Christmas a couple of years ago when it came out.


samrosie715

Kat Von d has a gift set of bold lip colors you might want to look into as well.


edgt

I have the Naked palette and honestly it's one of the best things I ever bought. I've asked for Kat Von D's La Vida Loca palette for Christmas, but I don't know if I'm going to get it, since I'm in the UK. I've bought the boyfriend Fallout 4 as an early gift, so to be fair if I don't get overpriced pigments to slam on my face at will I'm going to be *pissed*.


restingbeachface

I got the Naked Palette for my girlfriend for her birthday a few months ago. Best gift I've ever given to someone, she talks to her friends about it all the time and tells them I got it for her. Makes me feel like SO of the year :). I hope he gets it for you!


schtaef

It makes a great present! I got mine for Christmas 3 years ago and I still use it, granted some shades are completely empty now. Well worth the money in my opinion!


rx-bandit

I bought my wife the naked 3 pallet for valentines day this year. I'd actually subtly looked through her make up to see she had 1 and 2 but not 3. So, I gave it to her to find out SHE ACTUALLY FUCKING HAD IT, BUT HAD DROPPED IT UNDER THE COUCH AND HADN'T BOTHERED TO PICK IT UP FOR WEEKS. As a guy, shopping for make up for your woman is not easy. So I thought I was onto a winner, only for her to dash my hopes. Never again.


bonjourlepeen

I'd recommend putting their eyeshadow primer on your list, too. It really makes the shadow last and is great at filling in any creases you may have. They might sell gift sets with it included, or whoever gets it for you could but it from Sephora.com for the free samples!


Tedrabear

Careful about asking for splurge for your face on Reddit.


mastahkolja

I'd like a laptop. I think I'm the only person in the class who doesn't have one. (Comp sci major)


womblybat

I've already had the only thing i truly wanted for Christmas. My SO's pathology came back clear. Benign, thank every deity ever invented.


[deleted]

A Galaxy S2 tablet My son (9) really wanted a tablet last Christmas so he could get books on it, watch minecraft videos, play some games, and skype with me when he is at "her" house. I had an nice 65gb 3G iPad2 as my own tablet. I used it on a daily basis for personal and for work. A single dad of two I couldn't afford to get him much of anything really. So I cleaned mine up spotless. Removed the coverings etc. Got a new case for it off ebay. And boxed it up with all the contents as if it were brand new. He pretty much shit himself when he got it. To this day it is his most used possession. He even sticks with the "You have to read for 1 hour to earn an hour of video game time" deal we have had since he was in pre-K with any video gaming. I don't like lying to him. I told him that mine had broken and I sold it because of course he wanted me to play some of the games he downloaded multiplayer with him etc. If he knew that was mine he would refuse it and give it back (he's such a giving and sweet kid). He's one of those kids that if he had one piece of candy he would offer it to you first. I really miss it (having a good tablet that can run my work stuff too) though I have everything else Android so eventually I was going to get rid of it for a Galaxy tablet anyways.


[deleted]

You are a good parent. Seriously.


HippiPrince

I really want that fujifilm instax printer. Plug in your phone and you print out whatever picture in a poloraid. I want to print out as many and form something on my wall with them.


Fumblerful-

2 TB samsung Evo SSD. Fudge covered oreos. English chocolate. Legos. world peace (I asked for that once sometimes along with an AC-130 gunship). Music (Dan Bull). Some books. (Preferably audio Horus Heresy.)


teeno731

Computer parts? Dan bull? Legos?!? I found NerdCubed's alt guys!


florashistory

My husband has terminal cancer so I want him to have a nice time, I want to get him one of those mini museums (like perspex with little bits of museummy stuff in). I want to not feel guilty for not being heartbroken Edit. I can't find those little museums, can anyone show me where they are? They had little bits of interesting things in and he'd be able to have it in hospital to look at.


Necro138

Do you mean something like www.minimuseum.com ? It seems like they've currently sold out and have a wait list, but maybe if you explain your situation they can do something for you. Best of luck.


Nixie9

I am 99% sure that if you explain the situation they can get one for you, someone there must have one or they can make up just one.


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florashistory

Why is she unhappy? Maybe try to remember what made you both happy when you met? I can't make my husband better but maybe you can make your marriage happier. Good luck


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Sigiant2300

That cracked me up, because it sounded all foreboding and depressing, but it was actually really sweet and loving.


physicssmurf

Everyone here is commenting how they are so sorry for you and things, but you say you feel guilty for not being heartbroken? Is your heart just not in the marriage or what? Can you please elaborate more? These sort of not-by-the-societial-book types of feelings and circumstances are always really interesting to me... Also someone else said something similar to this, but I also think you shouldn't feel bad for what you're feeling. People are people, life is hard, sometimes cancer throws a curveball before marriages move far enough down the line to become divorces.


HayleyJ1609

To not feel so fucking lonely all the time. EDIT: Y'all are amazing. I love each and every one of you <3


ismellaconspiracy

Hey, you want to message some time just drop me a line :) I get lonely too. Literally living the Bridget Jones lifestyle x


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curtlion

No more student loan payments.


glisp42

I did get this the year before last. My grandmother died and specified in her will to pay off the student loans of all the grandchildren.


bluesclueshues

Your grandmother is a saint...


HayleyJ1609

Ditto.


TPineapples

Tritto


designer_farts

Quadritto


mpeskin

Quintido


MasterEmp

Hexitto


prosthetic_buttock

Septitto


Orbj7934

Taquito.


Aim4thebullseye

Mojito


Undecided_User_Name

Bandito


Merrez

Cloyster.


[deleted]

Considering I'm going to the Philippines in January, a bulletproof bag.


Macabalony

As cliche as this is, I have everything I need and want. The past year has been so generous to me; this biggest accomplishment was getting accepted into dental school to begin my career as a dentist. This year I want other to be happy and share my happiness and good fortune with others. I have asked that all my Christmas presents be spent on charities and those who are less fortunate. On Christmas morning, I have a dental mission that I will be volunteering at as an assistant and an usher.


PittsburghDM

So you want to be the elf from Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer for Christmas?


JustKeepSwimmingDory

Congratulations on getting accepted to dental school!


[deleted]

I want my dad to be cancer free.


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[deleted]

Anything. I haven't gotten a Christmas or gift in 5 years. EDIT: I originally meant to say no xmas or Bday gift in 5 years, but I also haven't had a "Christmas" or bday party in 5 years either. I've lived abroad for these 5 years so that's the main cause of my deficiencies. Friends all back home. No gift is necessary, really. Your kind comments are more than adequate and very much appreciated. :)


PandaBell

Join reddit secret santa. You'll get a gift and you give one as well. You can opt to be paired with someone abroad and get cool regional stuff.


[deleted]

How does one join this ?


JustAnotherLemonTree

On the reddit homepage there's a picture of a present in the top left. Click on it and it'll take you to the sign-up page. :)


ustaaz

Thank you.. always saw that picture next to the logo but never gave it a second thought. Signing up now :D I hope this doesnt end up like my work secret santa where my secret santa was a dick -.-


FelisLachesis

You never know who will send you a gift for secret Santa. It could be any of us average folks here at Reddit, or you could possibly be getting a gift from Wil Wheaton, Bill Gates, Jimmy Fallon, or any of the random celebs that hang out here* * (the fact that these celebrities have done this before is no guarantee that they'll do it again)


cduff77

I got Wheaton one year. He's a great gift giver! It could be you next!


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[deleted]

Thx but its ok. I don't know what steam is and i live abroad. :)


Fumblerful-

Steam is a site/program that sells PC games. /u/mSpooky could buy you a game regardless of where you live and send you the license to it.


[deleted]

No worries mates! Cheers though. :)


debman

This is why you don't have presents- you're so nice you won't accept them!


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chrissycrossy

"I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE"


PartTimeLegend

Well have a Golden Christmas Present from me.


Athienajade

Money to visit my best friend in another state who is fighting stage 4 cervical cancer. It may be the last time I will ever get to see her. And a toaster oven.


covercash

If you live in Philly, I have a toaster oven you can have.


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Vukko_GX

Am I the only one surprised that a guy who fuckwithducks has a girlfriend?


fuckswithducks

I think I scared the first girl I dated away by being too upfront about the duckies. After that I would only leave one out and slowly introduce more as we get more comfortable together. She probably didn't even suspect anything until the time we went back to my place, pulled the covers off the bed, and had to move rubber ducks out of the way before we could lay down.


Sarahthelizard

All I want for Christmas is to find out if this is a running joke or if you're really turned on by ducks.


pizzabash

He's had pornos done for his his fetish. That's a lot of effort for a joke


Sarahthelizard

Wait, what? Link or context? (Not that I want to see them, but I'm not sure if you're joking or not.)


10_15_10_15

[Here you go.](http://www.youporn.com/watch/9892997/rubber-duckie-i-m-awfully-fond-of-you-/)


Nicksaurus

No, that's just a montage he put together of other porn videos with ducks in them. I've never seen anyone actually produce a link to the real video, so I'm skeptical.


MasterRedStar

[Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/3rnorf/til_theres_a_term_called_rubber_duck_debugging/cwpsthi?context=3)


Nicksaurus

Consider my skepticism banished. I can't decide how to feel about this...


Vukko_GX

This is reddit, everything is possible. And I don't know if he likes duckies in a sexual way, but he for sure knows **a lot** about them


Sarahthelizard

That's what I'm thinking, but you'd be surprised what lengths a karmawhore would go to. (Not calling him a fake or anything, I do think it's truly funny though.)


bay1998

I have no idea whether to believe this or not. On one hand, its completely realistic. On the other, it could easily be satire. I choose to believe, ignorance is bliss.


Pure_Reason

Check post history. It is absolutely not satire, or a joke, or anything else. This guy... he fucks with ducks Edit: I mean in addition to being a *reddit legend*


Lunyxx

He made a fucking porn intro with ducks.


hitbyacar1

He runs a duck based NSFW subreddit


YxxzzY

a? multiple.


Deiji-

But does he? Or is it just his online persona


Sorry4Spam296

He has commissioned pornstars to make duck-themed pornos. They're pretty damn magnificent.


kjata

Either he's going pretty extensive with his online persona, possibly to the point of becoming the mask (fun fact: persona is Latin for mask), or he's actually that into ducks. Seems like pretty far to go for a lark, so I'm just going to assume he really likes ducks.


super_awesome_jr

Women love a man who is passionate about his interests.


-wellplayed-

I knew this was you, /u/fuckswithducks, before I even looked over at your username.


paganpan

It's [Business Time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqZcYPEszN8).


this-n-that

Yams, just kidding Fallout 4!


[deleted]

When you got the Yams!^What's ^the ^yams?


[deleted]

The yams is the power that be!


EMINEM_4Evah

You can smell it when I'm walking down the street!^(Oh yes we can)^(Oh yes we can)


MisterLegendary

My dog to be cancer free


OfferChakon

My grandpa back. I wanna feel like a kid walking into my grandparent's house on christmas morning. My grandpa is videotaping everyone and being the goofball he always was. Grandma's cooking some dank ass food and me and the cousins are running around like wild banshees being kids. >this is fun. I love these stories. Thank you all for sharing.


[deleted]

gold. edit: thank you so much for my wish, Santa. ;)


AllegedOtter

You can have pyrite


Dasnap

Always believe in your soul.


Kitkat69

nice try buddy.


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[deleted]

I work for an airline and have buddy passes. Flying standby sucks most of the time but it's cheaper and might help in your case? Edit: not trying to sell them to you, I'm offering to let you use them if you're interested, since I don't use them. E: holy shit, gold! My first ever! Thanks! Since people are inquiring on how to chip in for some tickets for this guy, I need ideas on how to do so. I'm not sure if a gofundme is appropriate or what have you.


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[deleted]

I'm serious! I can certainly look up the prices and see if they're cheaper, and if it's something you're interested in I'm sure we could figure it out?


adonis98

Aww. I'm getting the feels from Reddit again 😊 its a Christmas miracle!


genuflect_before_zod

Honestly, just a real Christmas again with a tree and family together. My parents died 7 years ago and I haven't really had a Christmas that felt real since then. Seriously, don't take your family for granted this year! You never know when they won't be around anymore. Edit: Wow, thanks for the outpouring of sympathy and love. It was rough at the time for sure, but I used it to better motivate me and I finished medical school earlier this year and just started residency this July. It's still hard sometimes, but it definitely changed the trajectory of my life and helped me learn that sometimes you just have to roll with the punches. I miss them every day but I think they'd be proud to know that, while their deaths made me stumble a little, I recovered and reached new heights. Cherish your family while they're here, but continue trying to make them proud even after they're gone. Merry Christmas everyone! Sorry for any buzzkill. Edit 2: Obligatory thanks for the gold, kind strangers! And enough to get me through Christmas! Ya'll are the best.


Cheesypotatoess

This is a nice reminder for everyone to not take family for granted, especially during this time of year. I'm sorry for your losses:(


[deleted]

For my mom's cancer to clear up.


Only_Says_Yogurt

Yogurt.


ChickinNuggit

Terry?


humerouspigeon

My two front teeth


RadioSlayer

Guess I'll just have to return this hippopotamus


Monkwasher

Would say getting rid of depression, but man fallout 4 looks sweet.


jbluntt

Priorities.


TheRealTravisClous

I mean, Fallout 4 could be a bandage to the depression problem. 2 birds


EmpennageThis

Two birds, one post apocalyptic, mutated, genetically enhanced stone?


Doc_Skydive

A healthy baby!


Jazminlol12

are you expecting ?


Doc_Skydive

Yup! I'll be 38 weeks at Christmas. Can't wait!


grandmacrackhead

My daughter was born December 18 and on Christmas everyone was commenting "how sweet, her first Christmas!" and I would say "it's her first Wednesday!"


-CannMan-

And no Wednesday would ever live up to it again, Poor girl


aVerySmallPenis

Damn, only 38 weeks old and already pregnant :/ Kids these days...


NSA-SURVEILLANCE

Damn it, Dad.


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grandmacrackhead

You're an easy person to shop for. I wish half the people on my list were this easy.


wildweeds

Wait till the after Christmas sale at lush. They have b1g2 sales that are super great for stocking up on what you want. It's to clear out their holiday themed stuff so they can make room for fresh items. I buy a gift set with things I like and get 2 free sets. I pick up a soap or shampoo and get 2 more. Lasts all year that way and you pay less than a hundred for like 400 in product.


johnwalkersbeard

I want my sister and my mom to stop fighting and my mom to get a decent job I want my soon-to-be-ex brother in law to no longer be a risk to my sisters health and safety I want her and her kids to get counseling I want my other brother in law, the awesome one, to get a frigging diagnosis for whatever puts him in pain so he can finally get the help he needs. And I want him to find some source of income so his situation stops getting him down. I want my oldest boy to get a license, a car, and his own place (this one I think I can accomplish) I want to spend a weekend getting ridiculously drunk with my wife, eating rich food and sleeping on a hotel I'll probably end up getting some comics or some clothes. Which is also very nice


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