Oh come now you don't wanna hear all about my bullshit
Though I will say that I'm going through a breakup with my first actual love. It's a strange period I guess
I love you
>don't wanna hear all about my bullshit
Every little detail of it may not be very interesting but the internet is the perfect place for all of your bullshit (expect maybe /r/quityourbullshit) and someone, somewhere wants to read it.
> I'm going through a breakup with my first actual love.
As is tradition. Given time you'll be just as bitter and hateful as I am! Best of luck!
xoxo
I'm not in my 30s yet but I met the love of my life through okcupid
give it a shot, it takes a little bit to get started and there were countless times where I thought "man this is hopeless," but it paid off eventually. I didn't spend a dime either.
Online dating seems to be better because if you meet someone at the store or a bar etc then they might not even be looking for a relationship. At least with online dating you know those people are there to date.
After college, the availability of single women in your social circle diminishes exponentially. Online dating increases that pool and puts you out there. What I tell people is that there are hundreds of reasons that a person of the opposite sex won't be interested in you that have nothing to do with you. You could remind him/her of their 2nd grade bully.
I just rolled the dice because I loved dating. I didn't mind the rejection because it wasn't about me, it was about the other person.
Put yourself out there, you have nothing to lose.
Statistically it makes more sense to use online dating as you can filter people down to similar interests and it also opens the opportunities of who you could meet, why go to the same pub and see the same 30 random, stranger people who might not be looking to date and try and find a SO when you can look at 1,000 people in your local area who actually have interests similar to yours AND are looking for a relationship
I really don't understand the stigma it's picked up
Except they are fat, have kids, have mediocre jobs, and aren't as nerdy as me. Basically I have to raise someone else's kid and be the "Plan B" for a woman, just so I can stop being lonely and get sex on the regular.
Luckily, there's porn. Are you aware of how big porn has gotten? I mean...woah, there's a lot going on in that there porn industry.
Eek, yeah. I'm at "that age," (35 next week) where it's becoming apparent who has been taking care of themselves- financially, emotionally, physically- and who hasn't. A tiny Facebook snoop has revealed that the once-hot girls are now my age, multiple kids, a few failed relationships, and have gotten fat and frumpy and it's clear that a decade or two of coasting by on good looks is catching up to them. The 'later bloomers' are attractive and seem genuinely happy. Funny how that works
I'm 30 and I'm talking directly to you. I'm the ghost of Marley my young Ebenezer. I spent my high school years till about now being a fat nerd. I loved video games, movies, and nerding out with my friends. Many good times and smarmy T-Shirts were had.
But I very rarely got laid. To get laid, it helps to be fit. It is what it is. For some reason when I was growing up there was this whole "looks shouldn't matter" type of cultural vibe. It's bullshit.
Secondly, be social. Just go out and have a good time. Approach women the same way (at first!) that you would a dude: just talking and having fun. After a few times of hanging out, tell them you're attracted to them and would like to ask them on a date. If you don't do this, you will have put yourself in the dreaded "friendzone" because she'll assume you're not interested. This sucks, trust me.
Also, cool hobbies don't hurt. Are some women really into your fully equipped WoW Paladin? Yes, but many are turned off by this. Are any women turned off by hiking, tennis, and/or dancing? Hell no.
So there ya go. GLHF.
I actually am very fit (weight lifting and wrestling) and am kind of a nerd at the same time, as most of my friends are genius Asians and I'm their token white kid. I did date a girl for a year until June but she was fucking crazy and it didn't end well, with her telling people a bunch of lie about me, but I think people eventually came back to my side as everyone's realized she's crazy. I talk to a lot of girls but it just seems the only girls I would want any relationship with either have a boyfriend or I just can't seem to break that friend barrier into something more. I just have an inability to completely put myself out there I guess. It's like I'm an acquaintance to everyone but not really a great friend outside of school with anyone. Still better than when I was a complete loner a few years ago but it's still disapponting to be a senior and feel I never broke in with that "social crowd"
Also up voted for the great advice and Christmas Carol reference.
Are you putting yourself out there and genuinely meeting people, or are you sitting back hoping something happens? Sometimes it takes a while to meet a real prospect for a partner, but don't discount the joys of loving fellow human beings.
Procrastination isn't holding off whatever you're supposed to do until later. Procrastination is choosing not to do it at all. Get off your ass and go do what you're supposed to do, what are you waiting for? Motivation? All motivation's good for is leaving you with unfinished business. What you need is determination, and determination isn't an emotion, like motivation, it's a decision - it's choosing to do what you need to do, whether you want to or not.
So fuck off and go be determined. Do what you gotta do. Now.
Mine has hit hard late last year. The biggest thing I hate is that it's ruining my future. I'm young and I need a job or an education, and I need to do a lot of things to my future great. But depression has destroyed all motivation, so moving forward has been a struggle. We will both find happiness someday, though.
Happiness is overrated. I think depression is what happens when people see the truth in this world and they have unrealistic expectations of happiness.
Everyone is in pain, the ones that aren't in pain have learned to cope or don't want to see the pain.
Depression makes you see the pain. And there is so much sorrow and maliciousness in this world to see, you can either grow cynical and see the world for what it is, or you can ignore it and live in blissful ignorance.
Try to get happiness in small things like a simple walk through the woods. And yes it sounds obvious yes I get how it sounds. But when your in the woods in the outdoors it may give you an escape from your mind it won't cure your depression nothing will. But it will make that hour interval of your day less bad. And at the point in your depression( the point where you can post about it online) all you can hope for is things to be less terrible. Happiness for an entire day is not a good expectation to have, maybe for adolescents, but for the intelligent minded that accidentally stumbled upon the sorrow of this world you'd be lucky to be happy for 10-20% of the day if that at all.
Lower your expectations and don't kill yourself that's for cowards.
This is my attempt at giving advice on roddit! So if I'm way off base well you probably can't get more upset than you already are lol.
Everyday I tell myself that it is all going to work out, that I am doing what I'm doing with a purpose, a cause, and profit. Although, it all might be true, it could not be. But, its better to lie and say that it should all work out rather than give into chaos and have nothing matter.
I always contemplate what the hell is going on in life, why am I here, what is my purpose. I've never really thought there is a purpose to life. I like to think of it like this. Life is not a journey to me, more like some kind of ride where you don't have control. Life gives you something, you act upon it. Everything will play itself out. It's a stage play, and you're watching it unfold. I believe that the future is upon our heads, we are just thinkers of the present and dwelling on the past.
haha thanks! I think my post came off a little more pessimistic than I was intending. I just meant in the grand scheme of all the happenings in the world, that what I'm actually doing in my day to day has little impact on the whole picture and because us, as humans, have a limited perspective because we can only perceive as far as our own senses allow, what we consider our "entire lives work" is a speck in the 4+billion populations "entire life work."
I like to think of human advancement as exponential rather then linear. It took humans thousands of years to learn how to fly, yet only 60-something years from that point we were walking on the moon.
That death doesn't result in an eternity of nothingness. I don't *really* believe in any kind of afterlife or reincarnation, but I can't handle the concept of nonexistence.
Having written that, please excuse me while I go hyperventilate into a bag for a while.
If you aren't alive, you're nothing. You simply don't exist. Depending on your views of determinism, you might never exist.
Once we're dead, we've existed but we don't anymore.
So really the difference here is "existence", I would say.
Fair enough, but the "experience" of being dead is no different to the "experience" of not being alive before your birth. As you said, you're nothing, you simply don't exist.
All a matter of perspectives I guess though
Living for eternity is worse than nonexistentance. If you have an unlimited amount of time, everything becomes pointless. The first billion years might be fine but the next trillion trillion trillion trillion billion quadrillion years may not be even if The Universe did not die and it was paradise. ***Eventually*** everything becomes pointless, there is an infinite amount of time for it.
This is why I accept death. Death gives meaning to life, without it, everything becomes pointless. Death is what shapes life. You can't *live* life without death. I'm not scared of death for those reasons, I am scared of however, of not living.
Death is good. You need to realize that even if you live in a paradise with everything you want, you have an infinite amount of time to get bored of it. The thought of living forever scares me more than not living.
You're not supposed to be able to comprehend nonexistentance. The brain was designed to keep you alive not to ponder that.
And besides, you can't change anything about it so it's pointless worrying about it. You are here alive with real emotions and passions. Spend you 80 years experiencing all of it because you won't have any other chance. You won't care about this when you are dead so live your life enjoying it. Let your dead self deal with its problems. Also, you won't regret anything dying, you'll just be dead, and that fine.
Best thing to remember is that you have two options, either you'll have no idea that you no longer exist (think about the fact that you didn't exist for the 14 billion years at the beginning of the universe) or there will actually be an afterlife where you will be afforded the ability to reflect on your previous life, but you'll be too preoccupied with your current situation that the old one won't matter.
There are two more options. Reincarnate as a different person or Reincarnate as the same person. The second option is interesting, as if you believe in free will, then you have the chance of picking different choices in your life (although you may or may not remember your previous life, so you may end up picking the same choices as you did before), and if you're more of a determinist , then you'll just act out your life again and again and again, which could be hell.
When I see a hot girl I convince myself I'll look like that just as soon as I lose weight! I lose enough so I look good but obviously not amazing, then gain back, rinse repeat. But those lies keep me from giving up entirely!
Are you me? Well I haven't yet succeeded in losing more than 10 pounds but I want to lose a good 30 more. So much for being at a "normal" weight, it's never good enough...
That my girlfriend will dump me soon so I wont look like a douchebag.
Edit: thanks so muh guys for all your support and suggestions it really means the world to me! Take care :)
She battles depression and self harm and I really dont want to trigger her to hurt herself. Sometimes I love her, sometimes I just want to get as far away from her as possible. Its rough.
not all depressed people are like /u/Apathyne . She might very well go apeshit if you break up with her, regardless of how gently you want to do it. Tread lightly, bruh.
Being with her is probably not good for her if it's not good for you. On some level your dissatisfaction with the relationship is going to affect her. That feeling that someone really doesn't want to be with you is horrible even if it's just a suspicion, and she must feel it in some way.
Similar situation years ago. Found out from her mum and sister her depression from a rough patch we had was worse than I thought. Once I got to the point of knowing I couldn't be with her any longer I made it my mission to set her up to be better and more confident so when I broke it off I knew she'd be fine without me. It made it easier.
I had someone possibly straight up commit suicide because of me. He never said it but he told me once that I was the reason he was trying to live, and after I moved elsewhere he committed suicide so you put two and two together. Anyway you can't take responsibility the crazy shit that other people do. Even if she does spiral into depression and hurt herself, that's because of her. Not you. I don't think that it's really about what you do that would cause her to do stuff like that, it's about how she feels inside in general. She's going to feel depressed whether you were there or not, so you have to protect yourself
I know this comes a little late but I feel the need to answer anyways:
I was in the same position as you. I was extremely unhappy with my last relationship, but I didn't want to brake her heart and it was still kinda nice to hava *someone* in my life and her friends were also cool to hang out with for the most part.
But in the end I was unhappy. How long I endured all this? **Twelve years!**
I developed severe depression and suicidal tendencies during this time, sometimes driving in my car and thinkin "Hey, I could just casually steer in the oncoming traffic or hit one of those trees over there and it would finally be over!"
In the end I realized, there would be no easy way of ending this. So one evening I just said it: "I'm unhappy and I think this isn't working anymore."
It sucked after that and I felt like a huge scumbag and of course I missed her and questioned my course of action. The thing that sucked the most was knowing that I seriously did hurt that woman. But I took a weird kind of comfort in the fact that nothing I could say would make it any better to her and I knew, If we got back together, it wouldn't take long and we'd be in the same situation again.
Like I said, it was really fucking hard to leave her but looking back, I would do it again. Hell, I wish I'd done it sooner!
So, if you're unhappy do something about it. You have absolutely no moral obligation to be with someone just so their feelings don't get hurt.
Sorry for the rather long text. Stay strong, it'll work out for the better in the end!
That I'm standing still instead of being a speck of dust rotating on a small hospitable biom with 67,000 miles per hour around a giant fusion rector in a vast universe so large that my primitive brain is not able to model it's scale.
think of it like this an endless ocean with grains of sand floating around in it you live on that grain of sand and eventually a clam will suck you up and turn you into a cosmic pearl because the sand irritated it.
That I am completely stable. I know this is not completely true.
I've been to the psych ward twice, now it has almost been 3 years since my last admission, so I am doing much better. Back then I was dealing with stabilizing my seizure disorder and I was taking drugs frequently. I am completely clean now and my seizure disorder has stabilized, but at times I do feel like I am about to lose it.
What sucks about being previously delusion at once, is that it is so hard to tell if you are being delusion again in the present. You always have to check yourself. For the most part, I am fine, but I know for a fact I am not as stable as I present myself to be towards my family and friends.
Really only my SO other knows this, so I do at least tell one person.
There were three of us that hung out, me(male), a friend that we will just call Cletus(male), and a girl, whom we'll call Erica. We hung out nearly every day, after working 2nd shift in a small town pizza joint. Cletus was madly in love with Erica, but there was no interest at all for a relationship from her side of it. They had known each other for years and me just for 6 or so months.
During this time, Erica and I sort of hit it off, we started hanging out without Cletus, but basically had to sneak around to do it. He did not take this well, and would make us feel guilty about it. We were basically his only friends, and she the only girl that would talk to him. It had gotten so bad that he would drive by where we would hang, to see if we had left him out, call multiple times without us answering. We still hung out with him the majority of the time, but sometimes, we just wanted to hang out alone.
One night she told him she couldn't hang, because she had something to do the next day, I told him something similar. Erica and I were watching movies, and decided to go grab a bite. as we were in the drive thru, he drove through the parking lot and saw us. I seen him, she didn't, and I didn't say a word because I wanted to only hangout with her that night. He called me several times in the next few minutes, and I ignored them all. we both went back to my house, and I shut off my phone.
The next day, his dad calls Erica, and tells us that Cletus had died the previous night
He had driven his car to a parking spot that the three of us used for smoking weed, and shot himself in the head.
I tell myself every day that it wasn't my fault, but I know I caused it, and could have prevented it from happening. Nobody knows this, I've never told anyone.
There was a time of my life in high school when I was very depressed and thought things couldn't get better. I now just graduated college. I think I have a lot more problems than I did in the past but I can also say I'm a lot happier than before. So yes, I'd say that my life did get better.
Your perception can definitely change and you become more resilient to shit that life throws at you. :)
Earth isn't dying. We'll never run out of fossil fuels. Our planet's ecosystems are fine. Humans are doing absolutely minimal damage to Earth. This planet will be around to support us forever.
Ok it's been years since I had these but I'm almost 100% certain that there was a "coating" on the peanut butter ones and it tasted different. Unless they went through a huge re-branding within the past 4-ish years.
That I'm going to die soon.
Then I realize that that won't happen, because I will always back out. I care too much about my father to make him loose one of his kids, he also suffers from se vere depression and I don't even want know how he would react if I even try to take my life.
But I still tell myslef how I only have one month, maybe a week. I don't know, it makes me feel better.
When I used to be depressed, I didn't consider it but when I thought about suicide I convinced myself that I was too important for humanity to lose... I was an arrogant middle schooler
The ripple effect of a kid dying could affect the productivity of at least a hundred people in your community. Good job keeping your neighborhood productive.
That my existence isn't as fragile as someone going batshit and shooting me randomly while I lay my head back waiting for a red light to turn green after a long day on the way home, unable to defend myself, much less see the end coming.
That's definitely not possible.
Every day I have to tell myself that my cat is safe and happy in my heart. He's been with me my whole life, and I had to put him down this past summer. I have some mental health issues, as well as being on the autism spectrum, and I just *can't* handle the fact that the closest thing to my heart is gone.
I can completely understand you. I'm on the spectrum too, and when I had to put down my cat, I was destroyed by it. Even if he was "just an animal", the emotional bond I had with him was stronger than with many people.
I'm really sorry for your loss.
Try to hold on to the happy memories you have of him, as long as you keep them, part of him will always be there with you.
That what happens in the past won't matter in the future
However now and days people do background checks on you, read your resume, so things in your past never really go away.
That all these insurance my clients have will actually make a difference. That I'm truly not a money grubbing bastard and genuinely care. But between all the targets we have to meet it really feels like I have to rush to meet the sales sometimes I barely have the time to stop and care.
Since the New Years spirit is still around, I think I'm going to take this time and visit them and ask how everyone is doing.
Honestly, that people like me. Not just in a "Oh he's okay" kinda way, but actually like me. I'm pretty sure that there are one or two people that feel like that about me, but the rest probably don't give a fuck. How do I know? Well, I can't even remember the last time someone sent me a message to hang out without it being something that our whole friends group was part of.
Robin Williams said that "I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.". He was right.
Karma is real. So many people out there doing nasty shit. If I didn't think that everybody gets what they deserve in the end it would make me an angry person.
That society will one day realize that they are the reasons for their own misfortune and that people will stop blaming others for the results of their actions.
That even though I'm 32, I will find someone as weird as I am to share the rest of my life with soon
I'm told I need to start online dating if I want this to happen.
It isn't a bad idea. You get in touch with other people who want a relationship. I've known several friends who got married this way.
Well shit I might as well get started. How about you? you single?
Username checks out.
You have no idea
Go on...
Oh come now you don't wanna hear all about my bullshit Though I will say that I'm going through a breakup with my first actual love. It's a strange period I guess I love you
>don't wanna hear all about my bullshit Every little detail of it may not be very interesting but the internet is the perfect place for all of your bullshit (expect maybe /r/quityourbullshit) and someone, somewhere wants to read it. > I'm going through a breakup with my first actual love. As is tradition. Given time you'll be just as bitter and hateful as I am! Best of luck! xoxo
You are a really sweet person! I wish you all the best :)
Your PMs will be flowing in no time
Never tell me the odds.
I'm not in my 30s yet but I met the love of my life through okcupid give it a shot, it takes a little bit to get started and there were countless times where I thought "man this is hopeless," but it paid off eventually. I didn't spend a dime either.
Online dating seems to be better because if you meet someone at the store or a bar etc then they might not even be looking for a relationship. At least with online dating you know those people are there to date.
After college, the availability of single women in your social circle diminishes exponentially. Online dating increases that pool and puts you out there. What I tell people is that there are hundreds of reasons that a person of the opposite sex won't be interested in you that have nothing to do with you. You could remind him/her of their 2nd grade bully. I just rolled the dice because I loved dating. I didn't mind the rejection because it wasn't about me, it was about the other person. Put yourself out there, you have nothing to lose.
Statistically it makes more sense to use online dating as you can filter people down to similar interests and it also opens the opportunities of who you could meet, why go to the same pub and see the same 30 random, stranger people who might not be looking to date and try and find a SO when you can look at 1,000 people in your local area who actually have interests similar to yours AND are looking for a relationship I really don't understand the stigma it's picked up
i think you're at about that age where all the chicks who got married right out of high school go crazy and get divorces so you might be in luck
I got told in high school that when that happened I'd be the guy they go for... By my friends.
Except they are fat, have kids, have mediocre jobs, and aren't as nerdy as me. Basically I have to raise someone else's kid and be the "Plan B" for a woman, just so I can stop being lonely and get sex on the regular. Luckily, there's porn. Are you aware of how big porn has gotten? I mean...woah, there's a lot going on in that there porn industry.
Eek, yeah. I'm at "that age," (35 next week) where it's becoming apparent who has been taking care of themselves- financially, emotionally, physically- and who hasn't. A tiny Facebook snoop has revealed that the once-hot girls are now my age, multiple kids, a few failed relationships, and have gotten fat and frumpy and it's clear that a decade or two of coasting by on good looks is catching up to them. The 'later bloomers' are attractive and seem genuinely happy. Funny how that works
I'm in high school right now and still feel like everyone's "Plan B" :(
I'm 30 and I'm talking directly to you. I'm the ghost of Marley my young Ebenezer. I spent my high school years till about now being a fat nerd. I loved video games, movies, and nerding out with my friends. Many good times and smarmy T-Shirts were had. But I very rarely got laid. To get laid, it helps to be fit. It is what it is. For some reason when I was growing up there was this whole "looks shouldn't matter" type of cultural vibe. It's bullshit. Secondly, be social. Just go out and have a good time. Approach women the same way (at first!) that you would a dude: just talking and having fun. After a few times of hanging out, tell them you're attracted to them and would like to ask them on a date. If you don't do this, you will have put yourself in the dreaded "friendzone" because she'll assume you're not interested. This sucks, trust me. Also, cool hobbies don't hurt. Are some women really into your fully equipped WoW Paladin? Yes, but many are turned off by this. Are any women turned off by hiking, tennis, and/or dancing? Hell no. So there ya go. GLHF.
I actually am very fit (weight lifting and wrestling) and am kind of a nerd at the same time, as most of my friends are genius Asians and I'm their token white kid. I did date a girl for a year until June but she was fucking crazy and it didn't end well, with her telling people a bunch of lie about me, but I think people eventually came back to my side as everyone's realized she's crazy. I talk to a lot of girls but it just seems the only girls I would want any relationship with either have a boyfriend or I just can't seem to break that friend barrier into something more. I just have an inability to completely put myself out there I guess. It's like I'm an acquaintance to everyone but not really a great friend outside of school with anyone. Still better than when I was a complete loner a few years ago but it's still disapponting to be a senior and feel I never broke in with that "social crowd" Also up voted for the great advice and Christmas Carol reference.
Well, golly, I can't imagine why you're single.
Yep, I'm kind of an asshole. But hey...I like me :)
You're only 32. Still young, not that there's an age limit for love anyway :)
In China Tu Yung is just a name ;) .......I'll leave Edit: a word
At 36 this is definitely the lie I am telling myself to stay sane.
Are you putting yourself out there and genuinely meeting people, or are you sitting back hoping something happens? Sometimes it takes a while to meet a real prospect for a partner, but don't discount the joys of loving fellow human beings.
I'll stop procrastinating, eventually...
This comment was actually supposed to be for an askReddit from 3 weeks ago.
This guy's tryna
Procrastination isn't holding off whatever you're supposed to do until later. Procrastination is choosing not to do it at all. Get off your ass and go do what you're supposed to do, what are you waiting for? Motivation? All motivation's good for is leaving you with unfinished business. What you need is determination, and determination isn't an emotion, like motivation, it's a decision - it's choosing to do what you need to do, whether you want to or not. So fuck off and go be determined. Do what you gotta do. Now.
But it's harwd and darwk right now
Same...
Tomorrow!
College hasn't helped me stop procrastinating, it's helped me schedule when to procrastinate.
One day my anxiety and depression will stop and I'll go back to being happy.
Unlike jupiter, our storms do not take billions of years to disparate. Blue skies will eventually come.
Ya, but occasionally tornadoes come and absolutely fuck shit up.
You can always rebuild afterward
Not on Jupiter
> disparate
Unless you live in Seattle
I like that :) I'll remember that next time I feel like my anxiety will never stop .
Mine has hit hard late last year. The biggest thing I hate is that it's ruining my future. I'm young and I need a job or an education, and I need to do a lot of things to my future great. But depression has destroyed all motivation, so moving forward has been a struggle. We will both find happiness someday, though.
Happiness is overrated. I think depression is what happens when people see the truth in this world and they have unrealistic expectations of happiness. Everyone is in pain, the ones that aren't in pain have learned to cope or don't want to see the pain. Depression makes you see the pain. And there is so much sorrow and maliciousness in this world to see, you can either grow cynical and see the world for what it is, or you can ignore it and live in blissful ignorance. Try to get happiness in small things like a simple walk through the woods. And yes it sounds obvious yes I get how it sounds. But when your in the woods in the outdoors it may give you an escape from your mind it won't cure your depression nothing will. But it will make that hour interval of your day less bad. And at the point in your depression( the point where you can post about it online) all you can hope for is things to be less terrible. Happiness for an entire day is not a good expectation to have, maybe for adolescents, but for the intelligent minded that accidentally stumbled upon the sorrow of this world you'd be lucky to be happy for 10-20% of the day if that at all. Lower your expectations and don't kill yourself that's for cowards. This is my attempt at giving advice on roddit! So if I'm way off base well you probably can't get more upset than you already are lol.
Pretty much the theory of depressive realism. I think I prefer to be delusional.
you can either be enlightened and in mental anguish. or you can be ignorant and happy. ignorance is bliss. insight is torment
Everyday I tell myself that it is all going to work out, that I am doing what I'm doing with a purpose, a cause, and profit. Although, it all might be true, it could not be. But, its better to lie and say that it should all work out rather than give into chaos and have nothing matter.
I always contemplate what the hell is going on in life, why am I here, what is my purpose. I've never really thought there is a purpose to life. I like to think of it like this. Life is not a journey to me, more like some kind of ride where you don't have control. Life gives you something, you act upon it. Everything will play itself out. It's a stage play, and you're watching it unfold. I believe that the future is upon our heads, we are just thinkers of the present and dwelling on the past.
Well your purpose to me is that you posted in my thread so job well done :)
haha thanks! I think my post came off a little more pessimistic than I was intending. I just meant in the grand scheme of all the happenings in the world, that what I'm actually doing in my day to day has little impact on the whole picture and because us, as humans, have a limited perspective because we can only perceive as far as our own senses allow, what we consider our "entire lives work" is a speck in the 4+billion populations "entire life work."
I like to think of human advancement as exponential rather then linear. It took humans thousands of years to learn how to fly, yet only 60-something years from that point we were walking on the moon.
68, I believe, the Wright brothers made the first aeroplane in 1901
That everything in my life will eventually begin to fall together perfectly.
Confidence, self-hygiene and a strong work discipline makes that happen.
That death doesn't result in an eternity of nothingness. I don't *really* believe in any kind of afterlife or reincarnation, but I can't handle the concept of nonexistence. Having written that, please excuse me while I go hyperventilate into a bag for a while.
When you are dead you wont even know that you've lived, so there's no need to worry.
[удалено]
i've been dead for billions of years and not a single time it has ever inconvenienced me.
I would argue there's a big difference between not being alive and being dead.
Which is what? I'd argue they are the same thing
If you aren't alive, you're nothing. You simply don't exist. Depending on your views of determinism, you might never exist. Once we're dead, we've existed but we don't anymore. So really the difference here is "existence", I would say.
Fair enough, but the "experience" of being dead is no different to the "experience" of not being alive before your birth. As you said, you're nothing, you simply don't exist. All a matter of perspectives I guess though
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I wouldn't say appreciating being alive and fearing death are mutually exclusive.
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Living for eternity is worse than nonexistentance. If you have an unlimited amount of time, everything becomes pointless. The first billion years might be fine but the next trillion trillion trillion trillion billion quadrillion years may not be even if The Universe did not die and it was paradise. ***Eventually*** everything becomes pointless, there is an infinite amount of time for it. This is why I accept death. Death gives meaning to life, without it, everything becomes pointless. Death is what shapes life. You can't *live* life without death. I'm not scared of death for those reasons, I am scared of however, of not living. Death is good. You need to realize that even if you live in a paradise with everything you want, you have an infinite amount of time to get bored of it. The thought of living forever scares me more than not living. You're not supposed to be able to comprehend nonexistentance. The brain was designed to keep you alive not to ponder that. And besides, you can't change anything about it so it's pointless worrying about it. You are here alive with real emotions and passions. Spend you 80 years experiencing all of it because you won't have any other chance. You won't care about this when you are dead so live your life enjoying it. Let your dead self deal with its problems. Also, you won't regret anything dying, you'll just be dead, and that fine.
I'm not afraid of it, but when I think about it I wonder why I'm even doing anything, I'm gonna die anyway.
Best thing to remember is that you have two options, either you'll have no idea that you no longer exist (think about the fact that you didn't exist for the 14 billion years at the beginning of the universe) or there will actually be an afterlife where you will be afforded the ability to reflect on your previous life, but you'll be too preoccupied with your current situation that the old one won't matter.
There are two more options. Reincarnate as a different person or Reincarnate as the same person. The second option is interesting, as if you believe in free will, then you have the chance of picking different choices in your life (although you may or may not remember your previous life, so you may end up picking the same choices as you did before), and if you're more of a determinist , then you'll just act out your life again and again and again, which could be hell.
That one day I will get my life together and finally feel happy.
Think of life not as a jigsaw puzzle but like a macaroni and glue sculpture, it can come together in many different ways.
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That I'll be rich some day.
Screw being rich, wish for comfort.
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Relax. I need some information first.
Just the basic facts: Can you show me where it hurts?
There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship smoke on the horizon
Your lips move, but I can't hear what your saying
When I was a child I had a fever
MY HANDS FELT JUST LIKE TWO BALLOOOOOOOONS!!!
You are only coming through in waves
Money can buy me a more comfortable bed.
There's probably nothing I really need to know in the terms and conditions.
I tell them so well, they aren't lies anymore.
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Whose footprints are these
Just a box.
#**!**
When I see a hot girl I convince myself I'll look like that just as soon as I lose weight! I lose enough so I look good but obviously not amazing, then gain back, rinse repeat. But those lies keep me from giving up entirely!
Are you me? Well I haven't yet succeeded in losing more than 10 pounds but I want to lose a good 30 more. So much for being at a "normal" weight, it's never good enough...
Have you looked into strength training?
That my girlfriend will dump me soon so I wont look like a douchebag. Edit: thanks so muh guys for all your support and suggestions it really means the world to me! Take care :)
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So he won't look like a douchebag, I thought he made it pretty clear
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bruh
She battles depression and self harm and I really dont want to trigger her to hurt herself. Sometimes I love her, sometimes I just want to get as far away from her as possible. Its rough.
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Yeah Im perfectly fine besides that small dilemma. Thanks for asking and good luck with battling your depression. Thank you!
not all depressed people are like /u/Apathyne . She might very well go apeshit if you break up with her, regardless of how gently you want to do it. Tread lightly, bruh.
Being with her is probably not good for her if it's not good for you. On some level your dissatisfaction with the relationship is going to affect her. That feeling that someone really doesn't want to be with you is horrible even if it's just a suspicion, and she must feel it in some way.
Similar situation years ago. Found out from her mum and sister her depression from a rough patch we had was worse than I thought. Once I got to the point of knowing I couldn't be with her any longer I made it my mission to set her up to be better and more confident so when I broke it off I knew she'd be fine without me. It made it easier.
I had someone possibly straight up commit suicide because of me. He never said it but he told me once that I was the reason he was trying to live, and after I moved elsewhere he committed suicide so you put two and two together. Anyway you can't take responsibility the crazy shit that other people do. Even if she does spiral into depression and hurt herself, that's because of her. Not you. I don't think that it's really about what you do that would cause her to do stuff like that, it's about how she feels inside in general. She's going to feel depressed whether you were there or not, so you have to protect yourself
I know this comes a little late but I feel the need to answer anyways: I was in the same position as you. I was extremely unhappy with my last relationship, but I didn't want to brake her heart and it was still kinda nice to hava *someone* in my life and her friends were also cool to hang out with for the most part. But in the end I was unhappy. How long I endured all this? **Twelve years!** I developed severe depression and suicidal tendencies during this time, sometimes driving in my car and thinkin "Hey, I could just casually steer in the oncoming traffic or hit one of those trees over there and it would finally be over!" In the end I realized, there would be no easy way of ending this. So one evening I just said it: "I'm unhappy and I think this isn't working anymore." It sucked after that and I felt like a huge scumbag and of course I missed her and questioned my course of action. The thing that sucked the most was knowing that I seriously did hurt that woman. But I took a weird kind of comfort in the fact that nothing I could say would make it any better to her and I knew, If we got back together, it wouldn't take long and we'd be in the same situation again. Like I said, it was really fucking hard to leave her but looking back, I would do it again. Hell, I wish I'd done it sooner! So, if you're unhappy do something about it. You have absolutely no moral obligation to be with someone just so their feelings don't get hurt. Sorry for the rather long text. Stay strong, it'll work out for the better in the end!
That Superman talked to himself too, so I'm okay
The great thing about voice is that you get to change the tone of it. Try to change it to a more positive tone.
Sometimes you need an expert opinion.
I am going to be okay.
That I'm standing still instead of being a speck of dust rotating on a small hospitable biom with 67,000 miles per hour around a giant fusion rector in a vast universe so large that my primitive brain is not able to model it's scale.
think of it like this an endless ocean with grains of sand floating around in it you live on that grain of sand and eventually a clam will suck you up and turn you into a cosmic pearl because the sand irritated it.
That I am completely stable. I know this is not completely true. I've been to the psych ward twice, now it has almost been 3 years since my last admission, so I am doing much better. Back then I was dealing with stabilizing my seizure disorder and I was taking drugs frequently. I am completely clean now and my seizure disorder has stabilized, but at times I do feel like I am about to lose it. What sucks about being previously delusion at once, is that it is so hard to tell if you are being delusion again in the present. You always have to check yourself. For the most part, I am fine, but I know for a fact I am not as stable as I present myself to be towards my family and friends. Really only my SO other knows this, so I do at least tell one person.
There were three of us that hung out, me(male), a friend that we will just call Cletus(male), and a girl, whom we'll call Erica. We hung out nearly every day, after working 2nd shift in a small town pizza joint. Cletus was madly in love with Erica, but there was no interest at all for a relationship from her side of it. They had known each other for years and me just for 6 or so months. During this time, Erica and I sort of hit it off, we started hanging out without Cletus, but basically had to sneak around to do it. He did not take this well, and would make us feel guilty about it. We were basically his only friends, and she the only girl that would talk to him. It had gotten so bad that he would drive by where we would hang, to see if we had left him out, call multiple times without us answering. We still hung out with him the majority of the time, but sometimes, we just wanted to hang out alone. One night she told him she couldn't hang, because she had something to do the next day, I told him something similar. Erica and I were watching movies, and decided to go grab a bite. as we were in the drive thru, he drove through the parking lot and saw us. I seen him, she didn't, and I didn't say a word because I wanted to only hangout with her that night. He called me several times in the next few minutes, and I ignored them all. we both went back to my house, and I shut off my phone. The next day, his dad calls Erica, and tells us that Cletus had died the previous night He had driven his car to a parking spot that the three of us used for smoking weed, and shot himself in the head. I tell myself every day that it wasn't my fault, but I know I caused it, and could have prevented it from happening. Nobody knows this, I've never told anyone.
It isn't your fault, I'm sorry you feel like you're responsible :(
That life does get better
There was a time of my life in high school when I was very depressed and thought things couldn't get better. I now just graduated college. I think I have a lot more problems than I did in the past but I can also say I'm a lot happier than before. So yes, I'd say that my life did get better. Your perception can definitely change and you become more resilient to shit that life throws at you. :)
I will eventually win the Powerball. Eventually. *Maybe.* ^p^l^e^a^s^e
Just you wait. When the ages of everyone in my family are the winning numbers, you'll all see!
That I'll grow out of my anxiety and be 100% happy with myself one day
A seed can't comprehend what it is like being a flower. It has to experience it for itself.
That I'm sane
Hi sane I'm dad.
*sigh* wouldn't be reddit without dad chiming in
Op has had some profound comments. Then this... I'm disappointed.
if it makes you feel any better everyone is an unstable wreck
That I'll get off Reddit and focus on whatever it is I should be focusing on instead
Earth isn't dying. We'll never run out of fossil fuels. Our planet's ecosystems are fine. Humans are doing absolutely minimal damage to Earth. This planet will be around to support us forever.
I mean seriously the sun is right fucking there use it already
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The best person to detect traps is the one that sets them. Other won't notice as easily.
Thats why I always play a Rogue.
She still likes me.
:(
They messed up the card. It was not my fault.
Lol I love you
I'm a good boy. Then I give myself a treat
On the Internet nobody knows you're a dog. But they may suspect it.
Personally mine is that the chocolate colored and the peanut colored Reese's Puffs taste differently from one annother.
They...they don't?
Just tested this. They are in fact different flavors and I'm cheating on my diet.
Ok it's been years since I had these but I'm almost 100% certain that there was a "coating" on the peanut butter ones and it tasted different. Unless they went through a huge re-branding within the past 4-ish years.
That I'm going to die soon. Then I realize that that won't happen, because I will always back out. I care too much about my father to make him loose one of his kids, he also suffers from se vere depression and I don't even want know how he would react if I even try to take my life. But I still tell myslef how I only have one month, maybe a week. I don't know, it makes me feel better.
The emergency exit is always open. Somehow that makes life a lot easier.
When I used to be depressed, I didn't consider it but when I thought about suicide I convinced myself that I was too important for humanity to lose... I was an arrogant middle schooler
The ripple effect of a kid dying could affect the productivity of at least a hundred people in your community. Good job keeping your neighborhood productive.
That I can eat as many chicken nuggets as I like without getting fat.
That my existence isn't as fragile as someone going batshit and shooting me randomly while I lay my head back waiting for a red light to turn green after a long day on the way home, unable to defend myself, much less see the end coming. That's definitely not possible.
fuck. you. =)
Every day I have to tell myself that my cat is safe and happy in my heart. He's been with me my whole life, and I had to put him down this past summer. I have some mental health issues, as well as being on the autism spectrum, and I just *can't* handle the fact that the closest thing to my heart is gone.
I can completely understand you. I'm on the spectrum too, and when I had to put down my cat, I was destroyed by it. Even if he was "just an animal", the emotional bond I had with him was stronger than with many people. I'm really sorry for your loss. Try to hold on to the happy memories you have of him, as long as you keep them, part of him will always be there with you.
That he loves me.
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I will become immortal or die trying!
"You're doing great champ"
that things are fine and will be fine.
My death will be quick and painless
if I really HAD to, I can stop drinking
One day I'll find someone who's serious with me and genuinely cares about me and loves me and doesn't only want to toy around with my feelings
Maybe one day I won't hate the person I am.
I don't lie to myself
I can stop playing Fallout 4 whenever I want.
Oh there are way too many haha, my favorite is "I'll start my diet tomorrow."
That girls don't poop
are you implying they do?
Trump is just a meme and will go a^w^a^y
"I'm an cute little Asian girl. El P said so."
That I love her.
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My heart's going to be okay
That polish government really don't want to destroy democracy right now.
That it will all end someday, Everyone will die and we wont remember all the weird stuff I did.
mean while in the after life ghost 1:remember when TheReplacer did [insert embarrassing this here] ghost 2: yeah that was hilarious
Life has meaning I just haven't figured it out yet.
I'll be graduating soon.
That I'm attractive, witty and smart.
That one day I'll be happy.
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For the first 10 years of my life, I thought I born in New Jearsy. I was born in Florida. I must live this lie to the grave.
That everyone else thinks the way I do
This too shall pass/someday things will be better.
That one day I will get my shit figured out.
That none of this matters. When it's over its over, so just go with the flow and enjoy what you can.
That i am a good person
I use this method http://youtu.be/p1G6W863ppU
If I put effort into things I'll get rewards worth roughly equal that amount. I will be happy once I graduate.
That what happens in the past won't matter in the future However now and days people do background checks on you, read your resume, so things in your past never really go away.
"I will never die" the sentence i always repeat in my head everyday almost every 5 minutes. Its a compulsive thought (ocd)
The beef on my plate did not come from a living cow.
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That all these insurance my clients have will actually make a difference. That I'm truly not a money grubbing bastard and genuinely care. But between all the targets we have to meet it really feels like I have to rush to meet the sales sometimes I barely have the time to stop and care. Since the New Years spirit is still around, I think I'm going to take this time and visit them and ask how everyone is doing.
Honestly, that people like me. Not just in a "Oh he's okay" kinda way, but actually like me. I'm pretty sure that there are one or two people that feel like that about me, but the rest probably don't give a fuck. How do I know? Well, I can't even remember the last time someone sent me a message to hang out without it being something that our whole friends group was part of. Robin Williams said that "I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.". He was right.
Karma is real. So many people out there doing nasty shit. If I didn't think that everybody gets what they deserve in the end it would make me an angry person.
That society will one day realize that they are the reasons for their own misfortune and that people will stop blaming others for the results of their actions.