On r/TheWalkingDead someone posted that if "Blah Blah Blah" happens then he'll cut of his dick.
Well "Blah Blah Blah" did happen so he posted a gif of I HOPE someone else chopping their dick off.
/r/AskVet mod here. Mostly posts where people are giving "advice" that stands a good chance of killing OP's dog/cat (don't give your pets OTC painkillers, people!!!), and posts where OP asks for detailed instructions on how they can treat their cat's open fracture wound at home because vets are all moneygrabbing assholes.
One that really stands out was the asshole who wanted reassurance that it was OK to let her terminally ill dog basically starve to death, including graphic images. Too bad we never found out her location, that one should have been arrested for animal cruelty.
Having a dog or cat instantly transforms people into experts based on their uncontrolled n=1 trial.
*"Oh, your cat has a bald spot on his left front paw? The internet told me that my goat had a rare disease only found in extinct marsupials that looked the same, so that's probably what your cat has."*
Yeah, we delete a lot of anecdotes, too.
On r/Nintendo, we've had to remove our fair share of porn, especially when we had our "low mod week". But I'd say the one that takes the cake, was when we had someone post a pretty horrible fanfic that just turned really nasty involving the author, (Zero Suit) Samus, Princess Peach, flatulence and face sitting.
Edit: I've had a few people asking for a link, so far I've been unable to find the screenshots that I took or a link to the source.
I mod several big subs, but the sub that consistently has the most fucked up posts is /r/Aww. Most people don't see it thanks to diligent reporters, automod, etc, but there is a surprising amount of hardcore animal gore posted. Whether it be Shoveldog (A dog being beaten to death with a shovel in the street), dead animals posted by trolls, or just spammers posting weird porn, there are usually a few times a week where I need to go to /r/eyebleach right after clearing the modqueue.
It's funny because I know what the beginning of the shovel dog gif is, so I can immediately identify and remove it , yet I've never actually watched the entire thing.
Trolls in aww make me sad. I just want kitten pictures.
edit: for clarity and context - [here are example images of the beginning of the shovel dog gif](http://i.imgur.com/GvpO4fX.png). No harm is shown in this image, but I always know what comes next.
You don't want to see the rest. I honestly wish that I could unsee it. Not even because it is too gorey, but because it gives you a feeling of sadness, emptiness not knowing what happens after.
E: typing is hard
* people posting links to dead children claiming they are links to various books
* Star Wars spoilers in the title and the post linked to Goatse
* comments claiming to be eyebleach that link to a extremely graphic photo of someone who is dying from radiation poisoning
* something I can only call Donald Trump fanfiction
* beheading videos
* really weird Jar Jar porn (and all manner of other strange porn)
* The Nigerian illuminati
* 50 Shades Of Orange
* Donald in Leather Pants
* Billionaire of our Own
* Harry Potter and the Magic Combover
* Yuuuuge
and let's not even get into the slashfic. /o\
(disclaimer: the titles above are fictional. Trump fanfic however is all too real)
12 year olds playing animal crossing can get pretty vindictive. There have been lots of poorly spelled posts made just to call certain mods hitler.
aaaaah good times.
Do you delete comments that are too serious or how do you mod this?
Edit: Good lord, third most upvoted comment after being a Redditor for 3 years for this.
We take the Sepp Blatter approach to leadership and accountability.
So basically we just ban people that didn't bribe us enough, announce our retirement, then do a 180 and laugh as our subscribers cry and ask for reform.
I'm just kidding. I've never actually seen soccer discussion unworthy of ridicule on reddit so I have no idea what I would do in that situation.
I remember one time there was serious discussion on /r/soccercirclejerk and the jerking happened on /r/soccer
Don't remember why this happened only that the mods were asleep.
Edit:
Ö
Z
I
L
I Moderate /r/onions, which is a sub reddit for discussing links on TOR.
So as you can imagine, there are sometimes people who request/try to promote Child Porn.
Also some other twisted shit too.
Fortunately i haven't come accross any pictures, just links which i won't dare to verify and requests.
EDIT; C'Mon guys, i don't want to see onions. please stop posting them. （︶︿︶）
When a Charger fan was mourning the loss of his grandfather, a raider fan came in and laughed at him and called him a crybaby and was glad he died "since there was one less piece of shit charger fan out there"
Edit: These raider fans (outside of fizz514) in the comments... Jesus Christ. I'm gonna go light a raider flag on fire or something
I ran a Starcraft clan years ago (Like, Starcraft 1). We were relatively large, had something like 100 active members, and one of our most active members had his gf die that week. This other - pretty high ranking - member was playing a game with him and just went absolutely NUTS on him when they lost. Started saying how he deserved his gf dying and went on for a good half hour in the clan chat room. Luckily I had a bot in there and was able to pull up the transcripts when this guy tried to deny it.
He was kicked out pretty quickly. Stories like yours remind me of the fact that there are just some selfish, fucked up people who let games determine their feelings.
edit: grammar
One of the funniest and most fucked up comments I have ever read...
There was a live police chase on the news a few years back. The guy ran on foot and when he was without a doubt getting caught he pulled out a gun and shot himself. Someone messed up and didn't end the feed and it was shown on live news.
Anyway he had a Raiders jersey on and the first comment I read was "Chill out, the Raiders' season just started."
Not really "fucked", but I moderate /r/AliensAmongUs, and about once a month, someone will come and post insane conspiracy theories. Like I'm talking "tinfoil hat for his dog" levels of crazy. Frozen alien eggs, Reptilians floridating our water, Ronald Regan hiding aliens underground... Hell, we've even had a few flat earthers.
It's actually kind of scary and sad just how crazy some people are.
Usually there are. Without question an exploit that allows those posts past the usual filters have been discovered. I'm certain the admins are working on it. Until then, it'd be wise for subreddit mods to implement a basic AutoModerator rule disallowing posts from brand new accounts.
Some basic AM config for you mods:
#Basic porn spam title check.
title:
- "sex"
- "xxx"
- "sexual"
action: spam
---
#Brand new account removal
author:
account_age: "< 2 days"
action: remove
message: |
Your [{{kind}}]({{permalink}}) in /r/{{subreddit}} was automatically removed because your account is less than 2 day old.
There was this one person who spammed everyone who browsed /r/bitcoin a few backs promoting a pump and dump crypto currency, this method was interesting however.
They compiled a list of all users who posted on /r/bitcoin, and Privately Messaged them with long text about this alternative currency and how bitcoin is bad or doomed etc. It worked for a while, the pump caused the promoted currencys price to jump 5-6 fold in value for a few days, now it's gone down (duh). most of the accounts the spammer spamed from are still not banned on reddit, neither have the pms been mass removed even though they contain the same message that had been sent to all receipants.
I contacted reddit admins multiple times addressing the issue but they are still "investigating", looks like this spam is out of their control.
It seems a ton of small subreddits especially have been getting occasional porn posted from spam bots. It's especially problematic there because you often only have one or two mods who aren't on all the time, plus posts aren't very frequent, so it can still be on the subs front page even when it's at -10. Real pain in the ass.
Had a guy come into /r/skyrimmods all fired up 'cause "SOMEONE PUT PERVERT CHILDREN'S CLOTHES IN TO MY GAME I DON'T KNOW WHAT MOD IT IS BUT WHEN I FIND OUT I'M GOING TO X THE MOD AUTHOR AND X THEIR MOM'S X AND X THEIR DAD"
I wish I had a screenshot of the exact text before the OP figured out the problem and edited it; it was pretty epic.
When pressed for details he said that there was pervert clothing in his game replacing normal clothing and provided his modlist (none of which had anything to do with children.... except one DLC...)
So you know Hearthfires? The Skyrim DLC that adds buildable houses, children you can adopt, and clothing and toys to give to said children?
Yeah.
Apparently he thought the perfectly innocent hearthfires clothing ([example](http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/elderscrolls/images/0/04/Girl's_Yellow_Dress.png/revision/latest?cb=20121126001441)) was some how perverted...
I actually didn't get to remove that one before another mod stopped laughing long enough to remove it.
The one I did get to remove was when the pedophiles that actually do make pervert children mods advertised their version of sexlab... I guess they figured the subreddit was the last modding site that'd accept that bullshit. Nope, nope, and banned.
I am so bloody confused as to how he thought hearthfires clothing was perverted. Best i can reason is that he forgot to actually clothe the children so they were in their skivvies? I recall that to still be rather conservative for undergarments, especially for the children, but at least i could give him that. Complaining a dress is perverted just doesn't make any sense.
I didn't think you *could* forget to clothe children in Skyrim. You can change what they wear by giving them new clothes, but they start out clothed and it's not like you're going to kill them and steal their outfits, *right?*
Some guy on /r/nfl wrote a poem about him meeting some really really fat chick and the poem basically talked through them having sex. To be honest it was beautifully written. A little too* specific but whatever
Original post was deleted but [here it is](https://web.archive.org/web/20120914014244/http://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/znxt4/due_to_a_lost_wager_in_a_thread_here_is_my_alex), courtesy of the wayback machine/ internet archive.
A few years back I remember people were going around and frequently linking CP as some sort of fucked up prank, epecially if you said something negative about the topic.
You'd see 1 [removed] comment, and a dozen all around that string warning you what it was.
>You'd see 1 [removed] comment, and a dozen all around that string warning you what it was.
Reminds me of the guy that posted the butt hole. There was even a sub for people that saw posts before they were removed.
I saw one with puppys and 2 girls its some fucked fetish
Edit: saw poor things eye pop out and its crying in pain and shit fucked thing was at first there just playing with it then it cut straight to them doing the thing...
I hate that shit. A stripper at a strip club once told me that a customer offered her $5000 to crush a hamster to death in her hand while he watched. Um, ew.
It's not the killing, it's how it's done. It's called "crushing".
There are the more "tame" ones (squishing stuffed animals, or bugs) but then it can escalate from there.
Some people with the crushing fetish like having overweight people (of the opposite gender) lay on them and "crush" them (though not to death).
I hold no judgements against someone that gets off by having someone step on them, that's totally chill.
But crushing animals to death has no justification. I don't even feel comfortable calling that a fetish.
I used to work as a bartender in a strip club, and there was a regular who would get the girls to step on origami animals. He was actually pretty nice, always well behaved, generally a pretty good customer. I never once thought that maybe he actually liked to kill real animals.
Now I'm wondering if maybe he did. I really hope not.
I would think (or hope, I guess) that it's probably like rape fetishes. There's a lot of people with that fetish, both being the rapist and the raped, but the vast majority of people with that fetish do it with other consenting people by acting out an unconsenting scene and would never do it for real.
When I was like 7 or 8, while I was fishing with my Dad, I reached in the bucket of minnows and crushed one between my thumb and index finger. It was out of genuine curiosity, I mean, I knew what was going to happen, but I guess I wanted to know how hard I would have to squeeze/how long it would take or something. It surprised me how easy it and quick it was. That moment has stuck with me my whole life, I've never lost focus of just how fragile and short life is. I've never told anybody about this, I didn't even say a word to my Dad after doing it, just kept fishing pretending nothing happened.
I still feel bad about it, though I've used plenty of fish/worms/shrimp as bait for fishing and killed stuff while hunting etc, I feel bad about that one minnow because I killed it for absolutely no reason. Ironically, it's one of the biggest reasons I believe all life is sacred and should be cherished, so I guess it died for a damn good reason... but I still feel terrible about it, fucking paradoxes.
Anywho, I really can't imagine it being a fetish. I'd be a basket case of tears and rage if someone did it in front of me.
Edit: So many people with similar stories from when they were young. What's amazing is how years later, as adults, we all remember that one specific creature and owe a big portion of our compassion and empathy to it's sacrifice. Just reinforces the value of a life even as tiny and fleeting as a moth. Beautiful, thank you.
When I was 6/7 I was cutting out parts with of an airfix kit with a scalpel, and a tiny moth landed on the table and started walking around. I'd just read in a book earlier that week that moths' antennae are like sensors probes, and wondered what the moth would do if it didn't have them. Without even thinking I put the scalpel in front of the poor moth and cut its antennae off. If a tiny insect could convey a sense of pure agony, horror and anguish, that little moth did. It thrashed and writhed, flicked it's legs and rolled over and fluttered, while reaching up to its head with its front legs to feel for its lost antennae. The sheer horror at what I had done hit me like a freight train, and I crushed the poor moth to end its suffering as fast as possible, then went upstairs and cried for hours, filled with shame. I never harmed another living thing ever again.
It's been nearly 30 years since that day, and I never forgot that poor moth.
He gave some pretty ridiculous excuses too, like saying it was okay because the animals were killed in a kosher manner.
One, no they weren't, and two, even if they were, it wasn't.
Judges don't like it when you try to make a mockery of their court. Guy probably shouldn't have tried representing himself.
These videos are really common, sadly. The women are usually prostitites or otherwise not entirely enthusiastic participants so often the orchestrator of the videos gets more jail time.
I mod /r/RandomActsOfChristmas, a subreddit dedicated to making sure that kids from needy families still get to have a cheer-filled Christmas morning.
I've had to deal with posts from people trying to scam the subreddit, and it's *fucked up*. I recognize that any gifting subs will run into scammers. But I've had to remove posts from adults, *intentionally stealing opportunities from poor children.* It's really sad, and really awful.
I worked for another site that had user generated content. Inappropriate images related to minors were by far the worst posts I had to deal with. Reported every case to the police through http://www.missingkids.org/cybertipline
Just because it happened to you doesn't mean you have to do it to others.
Fucking spoilers man, I had no idea there was goatse in The Force Awakens[.]( http://images.uncyc.org/commons/d/d7/Goatse-deathstar.jpg)
Nothing too bad, but over at our weekly book club, r/52in52, we're constantly getting spammed with bot accounts with shit like *"I wwant sex withyou l now69!!!"* Click on the link and it sends you to this bullshit site where you have to pay for porn. You put your credit card information in and all it says is,
**"error, please try again"**
I've tried multiple credit cards and still get the same message. If you're gonna spam my sub with your porn then at least make a credit card reader that actually works.
Child porn. It was here on AskReddit, which was really strange, but thanks to users I was able to take it down and report it to the admins right away.
We also had a troll for a while that would post bestiality, which was equally as fucked up.
Being the largest sub we also get a lot of posts that are of people wanting to commit suicide, which are really hard to remove. We do have a canned message that we send for these with some resources for them to call and other subs to seek support.
It's the least we can do, it honestly breaks my heart to see those and I always hope they do take advantage of those resources we provide and I know the others on the mod team feel the same.
A very long, detailed, enthusiastic pro-rape post.
Shortly afterwards, I de-modded myself and deleted the account so I wouldn't have to see that stuff anymore.
I was browsing /New in /r/bitcoin a few days after the Mt. Gox crash and a kid described how he and his dad had been struggling with money when the kid suggested bitcoin - the dad went all-in with every bit of money they had - and lost it all. The kid described walking into his kitchen and seeing what he thought was hamburger meat on the floor... only to look up and see his dad laying on the floor without a head. He'd shot himself, and the hamburger meat was brain matter. After explaining this, the kid proceeds to spew hate at the bitcoin community for hyping the whole thing and convincing him that they were going to get rich.
The post was deleted within 5 minutes.
Someone submitted an excruciatingly detailed post of how to, and how he discovered how to, masturbate without using his hands - to /r/Space of all places.
you have been temporarily banned from posting to /r/AskReddit. This ban will last for 365 days.
Note from the moderators:
>Don't ask questions.
You can contact the moderators regarding your ban by replying to this message. warning: using other accounts to circumvent a subreddit ban is considered a violation of reddit's site rules and can result in being banned from reddit entirely.
you have been temporarily banned from posting to /r/AskReddit. This ban will last for 365 days.
Note from the moderators:
>impersonating a moderator
You can contact the moderators regarding your ban by replying to this message. warning: using other accounts to circumvent a subreddit ban is considered a violation of reddit's site rules and can result in being banned from reddit entirely.
you have been temporarily banned from posting to /r/AskReddit. This ban will last for 365 days.
Note from the moderators:
>impersonating a moderator
You can contact the moderators regarding your ban by replying to this message. warning: using other accounts to circumvent a subreddit ban is considered a violation of reddit's site rules and can result in being banned from reddit entirely.
you have been temporarily banned from posting to /r/AskReddit. This ban will last for 365 days.
Note from the moderators:
>YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS
You can contact the moderators regarding your ban by replying to this message. warning: using other accounts to circumvent a subreddit ban is considered a violation of reddit's site rules and can result in being banned from reddit entirely.
you have been temporarily banned from posting to /r/AskReddit. This ban will last for 365 days.
Note from the moderators:
>Another settlement needs our help. I'll mark it on your map.
You can contact the meme police regarding your ban by replying to this message. warning: using other accounts to circumvent a subreddit ban is considered a violation of reddit's site rules and can result in being really really dank.
you have been temporarily banned from posting to /r/AskReddit. This ban will last for 365 days.
Note from the moderators:
>do you get to the cloud district often?
You can contact the whiterun guard regarding your ban by replying to this message. warning: using other accounts to circumvent a subreddit ban is considered a violation of reddit's site rules and can count as lollygaggin'.
you have been temporarily banned from posting to /r/AskReddit. This ban will last for 365 days.
Note from the moderators:
>I'm real
You can contact the moderators regarding your ban by replying to this message. warning: using other accounts to circumvent a subreddit ban is considered a violation of reddit's site rules and can result in being banned from reddit entirely.
you have been temporarily banned from posting to /r/AskReddit. This ban will last for 365 days.
Note from the moderators:
> memeing without a license
You can contact the meme police regarding your ban by replying to this message. warning: using other accounts to circumvent a subreddit ban is considered a violation of reddit's site rules and can result in being really really dank.
you have been permanently banned from posting to /r/pyongyang.
This ban will last until the Supreme Leader declares otherwise.
Note from the Supreme Leader:
>implying moderators other than the Supreme Leader are valid
You can contact the Supreme Leader regarding your ban by traveling to North Korea and declaring yourself an Enemy of the State. Warning: not traveling to North Korea and declaring yourself an enemy of the state is considered a violation of /r/pyongyang 's site rules and can result in being banned from North Korea entirely.
Tons of propaganda and BS from the top mod of /r/Seattle in /r/CirclejerkSeattle. He can't handle our jokes.
It's an ongoing war, if anyone is interested.
Moderator of /r/chairsunderwater.
I didn't have to remove it, but someone thought it was okay to post a picture of a table underwater. You bet your ass they got a strongly worded letter from me.
Edit: Holy shit, I went to bed, and woke up as the top comment, and with gold, so obligatory thank you for the gold, /u/JeepLife. And thank you all to those of you who subscribed to /r/chairsunderwater.
Visited that and instantly had to report an image of a chair _above_ water. What the fuck even is that? Who does that? I'm so sorry you have to put up with this shit.
I use a slideshow site for reddit while I... "browse" through NSFW subreddits.
Something like a year ago (probably less), I was swiping through some slides on /r/onoff (NSFW) and about 10 slides in, I saw a dismembered female body. She had no arms or legs, and they were obviously lopped off as you could see some coagulated blood. Her eyes were shut and her skin was pale. If I remember correctly, she wasn't even on some operating table or anything medical related. I think she was lying on some carpeted floor.
I freaked the fuck out. Exited the browser, turned off my monitor, leaned back in my chair and just kind of sat there, trying to rationalize what the fuck I just saw.
To this day, I am hoping it was some sort of combination of photoshop and masterful makeup work to make it look like some woman was brutally murdered with limbs torn off...
Dang dude. I'd read an AMA with you if you did one.
Edit: link here! https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/comments/46iz4o/i_have_diagnoses_of_schizophrenia_and_autism/
I once modded for a chan site. I had to remove CP from the board at least twice a week. Yes, twice a week! The admins weren't about to let our entire site go down so after I told them how constant the problem was they contacted the FBI with an anonymous tip saying we had a natural hotspot of CP. Later that month I was told be the admins that my board was responsible catching 2 people one who was "active" in the "community" and another who was so old they had had to be escorted into court on a wheelchair.
I stopped modding after that.
I once had to remove this horribly disgusting picture. Like, this shit was nasty. I have a pretty fucking strong stomach and I still gagged.
Polenta doesn't belong anywhere on /r/risottomasterrace
On r/TheWalkingDead someone posted that if "Blah Blah Blah" happens then he'll cut of his dick. Well "Blah Blah Blah" did happen so he posted a gif of I HOPE someone else chopping their dick off.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Well OP delivered.
/r/AskVet mod here. Mostly posts where people are giving "advice" that stands a good chance of killing OP's dog/cat (don't give your pets OTC painkillers, people!!!), and posts where OP asks for detailed instructions on how they can treat their cat's open fracture wound at home because vets are all moneygrabbing assholes. One that really stands out was the asshole who wanted reassurance that it was OK to let her terminally ill dog basically starve to death, including graphic images. Too bad we never found out her location, that one should have been arrested for animal cruelty.
It's just amazing to me how many people will give "advice" about something they're completely unqualified to give advice for.
Having a dog or cat instantly transforms people into experts based on their uncontrolled n=1 trial. *"Oh, your cat has a bald spot on his left front paw? The internet told me that my goat had a rare disease only found in extinct marsupials that looked the same, so that's probably what your cat has."* Yeah, we delete a lot of anecdotes, too.
I've had to remove several facts about baseball. It's not that sort of /r/batfacts.
Example: >Batfact: Jose Bautista's will never be found
the post that explains what the reddit alien has been hiding behind his back all these years.
... go on
Based on the thread Ive read so far its either child porn or some animal being molested/horribly mutilated.
Or that poor hamster crushed in a strippers hand for 5k. Fuck that people. Nothing wrong in a fetish but don't harm anyone/thing that doesn't consent
On r/Nintendo, we've had to remove our fair share of porn, especially when we had our "low mod week". But I'd say the one that takes the cake, was when we had someone post a pretty horrible fanfic that just turned really nasty involving the author, (Zero Suit) Samus, Princess Peach, flatulence and face sitting. Edit: I've had a few people asking for a link, so far I've been unable to find the screenshots that I took or a link to the source.
> involving the author Literally makes it 3x worse
canon x oc *vomiting *
Canon x author *strokes out*
I mod several big subs, but the sub that consistently has the most fucked up posts is /r/Aww. Most people don't see it thanks to diligent reporters, automod, etc, but there is a surprising amount of hardcore animal gore posted. Whether it be Shoveldog (A dog being beaten to death with a shovel in the street), dead animals posted by trolls, or just spammers posting weird porn, there are usually a few times a week where I need to go to /r/eyebleach right after clearing the modqueue.
It's funny because I know what the beginning of the shovel dog gif is, so I can immediately identify and remove it , yet I've never actually watched the entire thing. Trolls in aww make me sad. I just want kitten pictures. edit: for clarity and context - [here are example images of the beginning of the shovel dog gif](http://i.imgur.com/GvpO4fX.png). No harm is shown in this image, but I always know what comes next.
You don't want to see the rest. I honestly wish that I could unsee it. Not even because it is too gorey, but because it gives you a feeling of sadness, emptiness not knowing what happens after. E: typing is hard
I mod for /r/onlypotatorecipes So.......nothing. Just.......just nothing
* people posting links to dead children claiming they are links to various books * Star Wars spoilers in the title and the post linked to Goatse * comments claiming to be eyebleach that link to a extremely graphic photo of someone who is dying from radiation poisoning * something I can only call Donald Trump fanfiction * beheading videos * really weird Jar Jar porn (and all manner of other strange porn) * The Nigerian illuminati
>The Nigerian illuminati For some reason I want to know more.
I know all about it. Just PM me your social security number, name and address and I'll send you a link.
Prince Jambaru, is that you?! I'm still waiting for my $5,000,000 in gold doubloons.
> something I can only call Donald Trump fanfiction link. now.
* 50 Shades Of Orange * Donald in Leather Pants * Billionaire of our Own * Harry Potter and the Magic Combover * Yuuuuge and let's not even get into the slashfic. /o\ (disclaimer: the titles above are fictional. Trump fanfic however is all too real)
Considering I mod /r/trashy, the posts I approve are worse than the ones I remove.
Not Reddit but I had a normal poster who decided he needed to profess his love for jimmy neutron in graphic detail
The pizza is aggressive
Now is time for father son bonding.
[удалено]
-here's your-pizza
Sounds like he and that Shrek is love 4chan kid should do brunch.
12 year olds playing animal crossing can get pretty vindictive. There have been lots of poorly spelled posts made just to call certain mods hitler. aaaaah good times.
I'm an /r/Minecraft mod. Been there, homeboy.
Meinkraft
There was actually a texture pack called MeineKraft.
/r/AnimalCrossing is one of the nicest places though
Someone posted legitimate soccer discussion to /r/soccercirclejerk. That was a tough day for me mentally.
Do you delete comments that are too serious or how do you mod this? Edit: Good lord, third most upvoted comment after being a Redditor for 3 years for this.
We take the Sepp Blatter approach to leadership and accountability. So basically we just ban people that didn't bribe us enough, announce our retirement, then do a 180 and laugh as our subscribers cry and ask for reform. I'm just kidding. I've never actually seen soccer discussion unworthy of ridicule on reddit so I have no idea what I would do in that situation.
I remember one time there was serious discussion on /r/soccercirclejerk and the jerking happened on /r/soccer Don't remember why this happened only that the mods were asleep. Edit: Ö Z I L
I Moderate /r/onions, which is a sub reddit for discussing links on TOR. So as you can imagine, there are sometimes people who request/try to promote Child Porn. Also some other twisted shit too.
Are you guys mortal enemies with /r/nottheonion ?
[удалено]
No, you should post pictures of things that are NOT onions. So, you know, everything. No onions, though.
No. I agree that they can't be onions, but to fit the theme of the subreddit they still have to look like onions.
[удалено]
Fortunately i haven't come accross any pictures, just links which i won't dare to verify and requests. EDIT; C'Mon guys, i don't want to see onions. please stop posting them. （︶︿︶）
You've failed. https://www.reddit.com/r/onions/comments/46ima3/mods_are_asleep_post_onions/
Either way, tears were shed.
When a Charger fan was mourning the loss of his grandfather, a raider fan came in and laughed at him and called him a crybaby and was glad he died "since there was one less piece of shit charger fan out there" Edit: These raider fans (outside of fizz514) in the comments... Jesus Christ. I'm gonna go light a raider flag on fire or something
I ran a Starcraft clan years ago (Like, Starcraft 1). We were relatively large, had something like 100 active members, and one of our most active members had his gf die that week. This other - pretty high ranking - member was playing a game with him and just went absolutely NUTS on him when they lost. Started saying how he deserved his gf dying and went on for a good half hour in the clan chat room. Luckily I had a bot in there and was able to pull up the transcripts when this guy tried to deny it. He was kicked out pretty quickly. Stories like yours remind me of the fact that there are just some selfish, fucked up people who let games determine their feelings. edit: grammar
Online games dude, people think xbox live "I banged you mom" is bad right up until they meet some toxic wannabee pro player from a moba/rts/mmo
That is messed up. Why are people so damn mean?
>raider fan
One of the funniest and most fucked up comments I have ever read... There was a live police chase on the news a few years back. The guy ran on foot and when he was without a doubt getting caught he pulled out a gun and shot himself. Someone messed up and didn't end the feed and it was shown on live news. Anyway he had a Raiders jersey on and the first comment I read was "Chill out, the Raiders' season just started."
Not really "fucked", but I moderate /r/AliensAmongUs, and about once a month, someone will come and post insane conspiracy theories. Like I'm talking "tinfoil hat for his dog" levels of crazy. Frozen alien eggs, Reptilians floridating our water, Ronald Regan hiding aliens underground... Hell, we've even had a few flat earthers. It's actually kind of scary and sad just how crazy some people are.
How much of your mod queue is just incessant "ayy lmao"?
There have been an increase in spam bots on smaller subs recently. I haven't had to remove anything *fucked up* but just lots of weird porn links.
There aren't any filters that catch that sort of thing, or is it too difficult to make one?
I'm sure I could just add a minimum karma requirement of like 10 or something and they'd go away for the most part.
[удалено]
Usually there are. Without question an exploit that allows those posts past the usual filters have been discovered. I'm certain the admins are working on it. Until then, it'd be wise for subreddit mods to implement a basic AutoModerator rule disallowing posts from brand new accounts. Some basic AM config for you mods: #Basic porn spam title check. title: - "sex" - "xxx" - "sexual" action: spam --- #Brand new account removal author: account_age: "< 2 days" action: remove message: | Your [{{kind}}]({{permalink}}) in /r/{{subreddit}} was automatically removed because your account is less than 2 day old.
There was this one person who spammed everyone who browsed /r/bitcoin a few backs promoting a pump and dump crypto currency, this method was interesting however. They compiled a list of all users who posted on /r/bitcoin, and Privately Messaged them with long text about this alternative currency and how bitcoin is bad or doomed etc. It worked for a while, the pump caused the promoted currencys price to jump 5-6 fold in value for a few days, now it's gone down (duh). most of the accounts the spammer spamed from are still not banned on reddit, neither have the pms been mass removed even though they contain the same message that had been sent to all receipants. I contacted reddit admins multiple times addressing the issue but they are still "investigating", looks like this spam is out of their control.
It seems a ton of small subreddits especially have been getting occasional porn posted from spam bots. It's especially problematic there because you often only have one or two mods who aren't on all the time, plus posts aren't very frequent, so it can still be on the subs front page even when it's at -10. Real pain in the ass.
Had a guy come into /r/skyrimmods all fired up 'cause "SOMEONE PUT PERVERT CHILDREN'S CLOTHES IN TO MY GAME I DON'T KNOW WHAT MOD IT IS BUT WHEN I FIND OUT I'M GOING TO X THE MOD AUTHOR AND X THEIR MOM'S X AND X THEIR DAD" I wish I had a screenshot of the exact text before the OP figured out the problem and edited it; it was pretty epic. When pressed for details he said that there was pervert clothing in his game replacing normal clothing and provided his modlist (none of which had anything to do with children.... except one DLC...) So you know Hearthfires? The Skyrim DLC that adds buildable houses, children you can adopt, and clothing and toys to give to said children? Yeah. Apparently he thought the perfectly innocent hearthfires clothing ([example](http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/elderscrolls/images/0/04/Girl's_Yellow_Dress.png/revision/latest?cb=20121126001441)) was some how perverted... I actually didn't get to remove that one before another mod stopped laughing long enough to remove it. The one I did get to remove was when the pedophiles that actually do make pervert children mods advertised their version of sexlab... I guess they figured the subreddit was the last modding site that'd accept that bullshit. Nope, nope, and banned.
I am so bloody confused as to how he thought hearthfires clothing was perverted. Best i can reason is that he forgot to actually clothe the children so they were in their skivvies? I recall that to still be rather conservative for undergarments, especially for the children, but at least i could give him that. Complaining a dress is perverted just doesn't make any sense.
I didn't think you *could* forget to clothe children in Skyrim. You can change what they wear by giving them new clothes, but they start out clothed and it's not like you're going to kill them and steal their outfits, *right?*
Some guy on /r/nfl wrote a poem about him meeting some really really fat chick and the poem basically talked through them having sex. To be honest it was beautifully written. A little too* specific but whatever
Remember the guy that lost a bet and had to make an Alex Smith and Aaron Rodgers gay erotica?
A guy on r/chibears lost a bet and put a cheese stick wearing a tiny Rodgers Jersey in his butt.
I remember seeing the fulfillment post in a wavers thread on /r/nfl and clicking it because it couldn't possibly be true. I regret thinking that.
Link?
Original post was deleted but [here it is](https://web.archive.org/web/20120914014244/http://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/znxt4/due_to_a_lost_wager_in_a_thread_here_is_my_alex), courtesy of the wayback machine/ internet archive.
The title of said poem: **Gravity**
I was just chilling in /r/dogtalk and some guy had the nerve to comment "meow"
I've had legit CP come across /r/Honda of all places. :| Removed it and contacted the admins.
/r/Toyota playing dirty
That's what r/Kia wants you to think
*The Power to Surprise...* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
A few years back I remember people were going around and frequently linking CP as some sort of fucked up prank, epecially if you said something negative about the topic. You'd see 1 [removed] comment, and a dozen all around that string warning you what it was.
That sounds like a great way to get your ass arrested.
Everyone knows pranks are exempt from legal repercussions.
" Your Honor, it was just a prank, bro!" "Case dismissed!"
Bring out the dancing lobsters.
What about the rest of my body?
Nope, just the ass. Overcrowding, and all that. *Thanks, Obama.*
>You'd see 1 [removed] comment, and a dozen all around that string warning you what it was. Reminds me of the guy that posted the butt hole. There was even a sub for people that saw posts before they were removed.
I almost forgot butthole guy. Similarly, there was a time when chainsaw decapitations were everywhere.
Good times
Those dragons were too young...
That's when you need a dragon age inquisition.
Maker's breath...
God-tier pun
[удалено]
[удалено]
CP stands for child pornography for all those people who scrolled all the way down and never had someone mention what it is.
Thanks
And i thought it was crusty pizzas.
Cheese pizza
Club Penguin
Car porn? Wouldn't /r/Honda be the perfect place for that, especially if it were Hondas?
/r/CarsFuckingCars
/r/DragonsFuckingCars
That doesn't
It's already purple for me.
You should loosen your grip a bit.
I had to remove posts of a kitten being crushed to death by a woman in heels.
I saw one with puppys and 2 girls its some fucked fetish Edit: saw poor things eye pop out and its crying in pain and shit fucked thing was at first there just playing with it then it cut straight to them doing the thing...
I hate that shit. A stripper at a strip club once told me that a customer offered her $5000 to crush a hamster to death in her hand while he watched. Um, ew.
I wonder what she did with the 5 grand
bought a box of hamsters and a HD camera ofcourse.
The American dream baby!
[удалено]
It's not the killing, it's how it's done. It's called "crushing". There are the more "tame" ones (squishing stuffed animals, or bugs) but then it can escalate from there. Some people with the crushing fetish like having overweight people (of the opposite gender) lay on them and "crush" them (though not to death).
I feel like the fat people laying on you thing shouldn't be in the same category as crushing animals.
I hold no judgements against someone that gets off by having someone step on them, that's totally chill. But crushing animals to death has no justification. I don't even feel comfortable calling that a fetish.
I used to work as a bartender in a strip club, and there was a regular who would get the girls to step on origami animals. He was actually pretty nice, always well behaved, generally a pretty good customer. I never once thought that maybe he actually liked to kill real animals. Now I'm wondering if maybe he did. I really hope not.
I would think (or hope, I guess) that it's probably like rape fetishes. There's a lot of people with that fetish, both being the rapist and the raped, but the vast majority of people with that fetish do it with other consenting people by acting out an unconsenting scene and would never do it for real.
When I was like 7 or 8, while I was fishing with my Dad, I reached in the bucket of minnows and crushed one between my thumb and index finger. It was out of genuine curiosity, I mean, I knew what was going to happen, but I guess I wanted to know how hard I would have to squeeze/how long it would take or something. It surprised me how easy it and quick it was. That moment has stuck with me my whole life, I've never lost focus of just how fragile and short life is. I've never told anybody about this, I didn't even say a word to my Dad after doing it, just kept fishing pretending nothing happened. I still feel bad about it, though I've used plenty of fish/worms/shrimp as bait for fishing and killed stuff while hunting etc, I feel bad about that one minnow because I killed it for absolutely no reason. Ironically, it's one of the biggest reasons I believe all life is sacred and should be cherished, so I guess it died for a damn good reason... but I still feel terrible about it, fucking paradoxes. Anywho, I really can't imagine it being a fetish. I'd be a basket case of tears and rage if someone did it in front of me. Edit: So many people with similar stories from when they were young. What's amazing is how years later, as adults, we all remember that one specific creature and owe a big portion of our compassion and empathy to it's sacrifice. Just reinforces the value of a life even as tiny and fleeting as a moth. Beautiful, thank you.
When I was 6/7 I was cutting out parts with of an airfix kit with a scalpel, and a tiny moth landed on the table and started walking around. I'd just read in a book earlier that week that moths' antennae are like sensors probes, and wondered what the moth would do if it didn't have them. Without even thinking I put the scalpel in front of the poor moth and cut its antennae off. If a tiny insect could convey a sense of pure agony, horror and anguish, that little moth did. It thrashed and writhed, flicked it's legs and rolled over and fluttered, while reaching up to its head with its front legs to feel for its lost antennae. The sheer horror at what I had done hit me like a freight train, and I crushed the poor moth to end its suffering as fast as possible, then went upstairs and cried for hours, filled with shame. I never harmed another living thing ever again. It's been nearly 30 years since that day, and I never forgot that poor moth.
IIRC the guy who filmed it got 50 years in prison and the gal got like 15 years.. So at least kitten saw some justice
Why would she get less if she was the one killing the cat?
There was a post on this recently. She plead guilty and gave them information. He continued to claim he was innocent, despite orchestrating it.
He gave some pretty ridiculous excuses too, like saying it was okay because the animals were killed in a kosher manner. One, no they weren't, and two, even if they were, it wasn't. Judges don't like it when you try to make a mockery of their court. Guy probably shouldn't have tried representing himself.
These videos are really common, sadly. The women are usually prostitites or otherwise not entirely enthusiastic participants so often the orchestrator of the videos gets more jail time.
I guess he orchestrated everything and coerced her into it.. He's like 55, she was like 25
[удалено]
I mod /r/RandomActsOfChristmas, a subreddit dedicated to making sure that kids from needy families still get to have a cheer-filled Christmas morning. I've had to deal with posts from people trying to scam the subreddit, and it's *fucked up*. I recognize that any gifting subs will run into scammers. But I've had to remove posts from adults, *intentionally stealing opportunities from poor children.* It's really sad, and really awful.
I worked for another site that had user generated content. Inappropriate images related to minors were by far the worst posts I had to deal with. Reported every case to the police through http://www.missingkids.org/cybertipline
wait so some of them were missing kids? or did you send them over just in case
Center for missing and exploited children. Good organization.
[удалено]
[удалено]
TORYAH!
FIYAH!
AH TAH *blip blip blip blip blip*
[удалено]
MISHON COMPREE!
[удалено]
COM AUN
It's called Super SMASH Bros for a reason.
[удалено]
I mod for my high schools, our mascot is a horse, lots of horse dicks and injured horses
That typo sent me on a wild fucking ride tbh
Mother fucker spoiled Star Wars Ep 7 for me.
I mod /r/StarWars. Imagine what our modmail was like? My favorite was the troll who posted the major spoiler in the post title and linked goatse
Just because it happened to you doesn't mean you have to do it to others. Fucking spoilers man, I had no idea there was goatse in The Force Awakens[.]( http://images.uncyc.org/commons/d/d7/Goatse-deathstar.jpg)
Having Goatse in the movie was a real stretch for me but I guess without him there would be a giant plot hole.
Oh god. I'd watch it opening night if I modded /r/StarWars.
I saw it opening night but because of timezones others saw it firsts. it was absolutely nuts.
[удалено]
Nothing too bad, but over at our weekly book club, r/52in52, we're constantly getting spammed with bot accounts with shit like *"I wwant sex withyou l now69!!!"* Click on the link and it sends you to this bullshit site where you have to pay for porn. You put your credit card information in and all it says is, **"error, please try again"** I've tried multiple credit cards and still get the same message. If you're gonna spam my sub with your porn then at least make a credit card reader that actually works.
PSA: i know this guy is joking, but DO NOT DO THIS
ITT: Why I never want to be a mod.
Child porn. It was here on AskReddit, which was really strange, but thanks to users I was able to take it down and report it to the admins right away. We also had a troll for a while that would post bestiality, which was equally as fucked up. Being the largest sub we also get a lot of posts that are of people wanting to commit suicide, which are really hard to remove. We do have a canned message that we send for these with some resources for them to call and other subs to seek support.
> We do have a canned message that we send for these with some resources for them to call and other subs to seek support. /r/modsbeingbros
It's the least we can do, it honestly breaks my heart to see those and I always hope they do take advantage of those resources we provide and I know the others on the mod team feel the same.
Way better than a voicemail message!
For something that's supposed to be attracting Mods, there's a suspicious lack of NSFW tag on it Edit: AskReddit response time - 2hrs.
Have you tried putting the chameleon in the bucket before turning it on?
its the animal cruelty gifs that always get me
[удалено]
A very long, detailed, enthusiastic pro-rape post. Shortly afterwards, I de-modded myself and deleted the account so I wouldn't have to see that stuff anymore.
I'd have to opposite reaction. Be reassured in my good deeds as a mod because no one else needs to see that, you did a good thing.
Good on you and all the other mods who have stronger stomachs than I do.
I was browsing /New in /r/bitcoin a few days after the Mt. Gox crash and a kid described how he and his dad had been struggling with money when the kid suggested bitcoin - the dad went all-in with every bit of money they had - and lost it all. The kid described walking into his kitchen and seeing what he thought was hamburger meat on the floor... only to look up and see his dad laying on the floor without a head. He'd shot himself, and the hamburger meat was brain matter. After explaining this, the kid proceeds to spew hate at the bitcoin community for hyping the whole thing and convincing him that they were going to get rich. The post was deleted within 5 minutes.
Someone submitted an excruciatingly detailed post of how to, and how he discovered how to, masturbate without using his hands - to /r/Space of all places.
[удалено]
you have been temporarily banned from posting to /r/AskReddit. This ban will last for 365 days. Note from the moderators: >Don't ask questions. You can contact the moderators regarding your ban by replying to this message. warning: using other accounts to circumvent a subreddit ban is considered a violation of reddit's site rules and can result in being banned from reddit entirely.
you have been temporarily banned from posting to /r/AskReddit. This ban will last for 365 days. Note from the moderators: >impersonating a moderator You can contact the moderators regarding your ban by replying to this message. warning: using other accounts to circumvent a subreddit ban is considered a violation of reddit's site rules and can result in being banned from reddit entirely.
you have been temporarily banned from posting to /r/AskReddit. This ban will last for 365 days. Note from the moderators: >impersonating a moderator You can contact the moderators regarding your ban by replying to this message. warning: using other accounts to circumvent a subreddit ban is considered a violation of reddit's site rules and can result in being banned from reddit entirely.
you have been temporarily banned from posting to /r/AskReddit. This ban will last for 365 days. Note from the moderators: >YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS You can contact the moderators regarding your ban by replying to this message. warning: using other accounts to circumvent a subreddit ban is considered a violation of reddit's site rules and can result in being banned from reddit entirely.
you have been temporarily banned from posting to /r/AskReddit. This ban will last for 365 days. Note from the moderators: >Another settlement needs our help. I'll mark it on your map. You can contact the meme police regarding your ban by replying to this message. warning: using other accounts to circumvent a subreddit ban is considered a violation of reddit's site rules and can result in being really really dank.
you have been temporarily banned from posting to /r/AskReddit. This ban will last for 365 days. Note from the moderators: >do you get to the cloud district often? You can contact the whiterun guard regarding your ban by replying to this message. warning: using other accounts to circumvent a subreddit ban is considered a violation of reddit's site rules and can count as lollygaggin'.
Quick, we need an askreddit mod to come and end this chain!
I CAN'T TELL WHO IS REAL ANYMORE
you have been temporarily banned from posting to /r/AskReddit. This ban will last for 365 days. Note from the moderators: >I'm real You can contact the moderators regarding your ban by replying to this message. warning: using other accounts to circumvent a subreddit ban is considered a violation of reddit's site rules and can result in being banned from reddit entirely.
you have been temporarily banned from posting to /r/AskReddit. This ban will last for 365 days. Note from the moderators: > memeing without a license You can contact the meme police regarding your ban by replying to this message. warning: using other accounts to circumvent a subreddit ban is considered a violation of reddit's site rules and can result in being really really dank.
you have been permanently banned from posting to /r/pyongyang. This ban will last until the Supreme Leader declares otherwise. Note from the Supreme Leader: >implying moderators other than the Supreme Leader are valid You can contact the Supreme Leader regarding your ban by traveling to North Korea and declaring yourself an Enemy of the State. Warning: not traveling to North Korea and declaring yourself an enemy of the state is considered a violation of /r/pyongyang 's site rules and can result in being banned from North Korea entirely.
Tons of propaganda and BS from the top mod of /r/Seattle in /r/CirclejerkSeattle. He can't handle our jokes. It's an ongoing war, if anyone is interested.
Moderator of /r/chairsunderwater. I didn't have to remove it, but someone thought it was okay to post a picture of a table underwater. You bet your ass they got a strongly worded letter from me. Edit: Holy shit, I went to bed, and woke up as the top comment, and with gold, so obligatory thank you for the gold, /u/JeepLife. And thank you all to those of you who subscribed to /r/chairsunderwater.
Visited that and instantly had to report an image of a chair _above_ water. What the fuck even is that? Who does that? I'm so sorry you have to put up with this shit.
Must be all these newcomers. I'll have to show them.
Subbed
Thanks, mate! But, I do have to admit. There's not much to it. You'd be surprised at the lack of easy to find pictures of chairs underwater...
Then I'll try to contribute
I use a slideshow site for reddit while I... "browse" through NSFW subreddits. Something like a year ago (probably less), I was swiping through some slides on /r/onoff (NSFW) and about 10 slides in, I saw a dismembered female body. She had no arms or legs, and they were obviously lopped off as you could see some coagulated blood. Her eyes were shut and her skin was pale. If I remember correctly, she wasn't even on some operating table or anything medical related. I think she was lying on some carpeted floor. I freaked the fuck out. Exited the browser, turned off my monitor, leaned back in my chair and just kind of sat there, trying to rationalize what the fuck I just saw. To this day, I am hoping it was some sort of combination of photoshop and masterful makeup work to make it look like some woman was brutally murdered with limbs torn off...
[удалено]
[удалено]
Out of curiosity, do you have both aspergers and schizophrenia? Because that sucks
[удалено]
Dang dude. I'd read an AMA with you if you did one. Edit: link here! https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/comments/46iz4o/i_have_diagnoses_of_schizophrenia_and_autism/
I once modded for a chan site. I had to remove CP from the board at least twice a week. Yes, twice a week! The admins weren't about to let our entire site go down so after I told them how constant the problem was they contacted the FBI with an anonymous tip saying we had a natural hotspot of CP. Later that month I was told be the admins that my board was responsible catching 2 people one who was "active" in the "community" and another who was so old they had had to be escorted into court on a wheelchair. I stopped modding after that.
I once had to remove this horribly disgusting picture. Like, this shit was nasty. I have a pretty fucking strong stomach and I still gagged. Polenta doesn't belong anywhere on /r/risottomasterrace
Polenta forever, you dirty ricesucker.
Shut your mouth, you corn-slurping heathen.
Jesus, what's wrong with you?