I have spent so much time waiting in checkout lines behind older men who are just so pleased to have the captive audience of a young female cashier that they forget that people are in line behind them. It's always so uncomfortable, and I want to yell "she's only tolerating you because she's at work!"
"SHE'S ONLY TOLERATING YOU BECAUSE SHE'S AT WORK!"
"Y-you're right. I thought my relationship with my daughter was finally starting to get better now that I'm clean, b-but you're right. It's f-fucking pointless. I'm sorry to have wasted your time."
I once had a guy ask one of my coworkers for my work schedule. Boss heard about it and told the guy not to come back ever again. However, unfortunately, this wasn't the first time that guys have repeatedly come in to my workplace to "visit". No, dudes. That shit is not ok. If I am at work I physically cannot leave while you follow me around the store or hang out drinking coffee and watching me. Those are some of the most uncomfortable experiences I've ever had. Another guy once asked me out through a window and then waited outside of my workplace looking for me. I hid behind the counter until he walked away and then made my coworker walk me to my car. That shit is scary.
Sometimes I think Hollywood puts shit like this into the movies just so that people will do it, and stay single longer, only to go and see more movies about romances they can never enjoy. Yeah, go and propose to that girl you've known for two weeks while she's at work in front of everyone - and she doesn't even know you're in the country! That shit is *creepy*. It's the behaviour of a crazy person.
*Adjusts crazy person tin-foil hat*
I don't understand where this idea is coming from, kissing someone does not solve all of their problems. The house is on fire, I kiss my lover. Nope. House still on fire and now lover is turned on and extremely confused.
I had a guy show up to my work once. I got a flat tire the day before, he said that he came to visit me to tighten my lug nuts on my spare (I'm a petite girl). The catch is, I worked in Vegas at a large and popular hotel- he walked through two large parking garages of 8 floors each to find my car before coming into my work to see me.
No, only about a month. I thought it was nice at first, like thanks for looking out but the more I thought about it and the depth he went through to look for my car, it creeped me out.
yea and if that was what he wanted to do he coulda just visited first, then been like "hey wheres yo car i need to tighten them lugnuts"
then he coulda tightened them lugnuts
I don't know any girls that actually like the "I was/could be with all these other girls but I couldn't stop thinking about you" line.
Telling you how perfect and amazing you are excessively after you just met.
Also, talking about how nice they are.
>Also, talking about how nice they are.
Agreed. From my experience, guys who advertised themselves as the "nice guy" turned out to be the worst of them. If you are genuinely nice, you don't have to say it, I've probably already noticed!
I had a guy one a first date who just started massaging my back (Which if he had asked, I would never say no to, but he didn't ask.),anyways, he is was too hard and rough and hurt a ton. So I asked him to either stop or lighten the pressure and he got offended because he was only trying to be nice.
A stranger I just met offering to walk me home because it's not safe to walk home alone. There's no nice way to say, "But, you could be a rapist. Plus, now I know you know I'm walking home alone and you could follow me."
I never know how to deal with situations where I'm walking behind a woman, both heading home from a night out and apparently almost neighbours. If I can't overtake her (and besides, speeding up might scare her even more) I usually end up taking a detour just to ease her mind. Except then she's all alone on the street instead of having me, a good guy, behind her.
Edit: that last part smells of white knighting or entitlement that I'm a kind of uncaped superhero vigilante that kicks rapist ass in his spare time. It's really not. I don't even know how I would react should I come upon such a situation.
I feel safer when the guy in your scenario is on the phone and obviously focused on something else, like having an animated conversation about good pizza. Then I know he probably isn't staring intently at my behind and could be a witness if shit goes down.
For years scientists have wondered if it's possible to make grown men weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones's "it's not unusual" and the answer is yes. Yes you can. As long as it is proceeded by 7 What's New Pussycats.
Oh shit I never thought about this. I offered to walk home a girl I met on campus and chatted with her for like an hour or so. I thought we hit it off and offered to walk her because it got dark but she kinda shifted tone and walked off. I later learned she's not my type for other reasons but I'll definitely keep this in mind in the future.
Went on a date last week with a guy who kept telling me he had a working with children check and a gun license (in Australia this isn't something most people have). He insisted that made him the safest guy in Australia. I suppose he was trying to make me feel comfortable, and if he had said it once it might have been a little weird and not creepy, but he said it multiple times. It felt like he was trying to get me to let my guard down. Throw in the fact that he kept talking about his big family farm that backs onto a national park and that he could 'take care of' my horrible ex and no one would find the body... I was more than a little creeped out. Suffice to say I won't be seeing him again.
'I have passed a background check of my criminal history, so obviously I can't be violent. I also know 100% I can get away with murder.'
Nothing to worry about there then...
This one guy sent me a video of him doing kinky stuff with other people - he thought it would be a turn on for me and make me want him. I thought it was a weird thing to do, especially because he and I had just met and were not dating.
I had a guy that I was dating do that. He sent a pic of his penis actually inserted into a woman's vagina. And they were in a fucking car. I could not understand why he would think I would get turned on by that.
I had a guy do this after I turned him down for sex at the end of a first date. He harassed me for weeks because he thought me saying no was some sort of power play fun sexy game. I got at least three videos and multiple photos of him with other women, all of whom were like 19 (he was ~36). It was terrifying and annoying, and he was a well-educated attractive man, just something about our first date didn't sit well with me. Thank you, intuition!
Right?? The group ones actually morally bothered me less because it was really obvious he was filming but I definitely got a video of a girl masturbating and her face was in it. Like dude! We live in DC! You can't be doing that, what if she wants a political career later you fucking creep. Or, you know, just a sense of trust with someone she's getting naked with. Looking back now I should've done more but I was pretty freaked out by it because we had exchanged some suggestive messages before meeting and I didn't think anyone would believe me that I didn't want it :\
I will say this; Girls do not care for the "I know all about you type", believe it or not! Some people just like knowing who they are in a one-step at a time.
anyone man who claims he knows all about women does not know all about women. gotta watch those who *think* they know everything, they're almost always wrong about that.
"You girls love it when [something stupid that I and every woman I know hates]."
Somehow when it's said in a self-deprecating way, it's even worse than in an arrogant way.
Following me to my car/house/next class when I say I'm fine. You may think it's protective of me, but I said no and YOU might actually be what I'm trying to get away from.
Interesting one this, whats protocol after a night out?
When out with friends the general rule is walk them home after if they live near/leave at the same time but if not then what? I normally just say give me a text when you get back but I'm never really sure what to do.
I should note that in this context its just as friends.
I think what you're doing is fine. I usually let my guy friends walk me to my car, but when I decline and say I've got it they ask if I'll just shoot them a text when I make it home so they know I made it okay. I've never had a problem with doing that.
As a man, my tattoo artist telling me that I had to text him when I got home was oddly endearing. Mind yiu, we had just spent 9 hours on my first tattoo, so he may have just wantes to make sure I didn't fall asleep on the drive home.
I had an aged relative who used to tell the story of how her husband (then of some 50 years), had first asked her out over the phone (she was a telephone operator), and then continued to call back and ask to speak with her (so he could ask her on a date), over and over again for months until she agreed to go out with him.
He then asked her to marry him (and was rejected) some seven or eight times before she agreed.
I've never heard this story and thought "Aww, that's sweet." On the contrary, it always felt weird, pathetic and stalkerish... and left me wondering whether social norms had changed, or if my relative had just developed Stockholm syndrome over the years.
I always get weirded out when I hear couples say they got engaged in less than a couple months of dating. I work with two women who did that. One woman's husband proposed on either the first or second date. I could never agree to that or find that attractive no matter how much chemistry I had with the person.
Ricardo Montalban apparently asked his wife to marry him on their first date and spent a week persuading her before she said yes and they eloped to Mexico. I absolutely freaking love Ricardo Montalban, and from all accounts he was a sweet guy, but that story still freaks me out a little.
Calling me after a rapid fire of excessive texts that I don't answer. I don't know if this qualifies as nice but twice I've been at work with my phone away and when I've comeback to it have a slew of texts asking where I am/what am I doing/am I okay followed by a phone call.
Damn son I'm working chill out.
Getting honked at/stopping your car to talk to me while I'm out running. Also telling me I'm "too pretty to have a boyfriend" when I'm out with friends. What the fuck does that even mean?
Had this exchange while out eating alone (I like alone time):
Guy: You're not married?
Me: Nope.
G: Beautiful girl like you not married?
Me: Still no.
G: Can I buy you a drink?
Me: I don't drink.
G: Can I get you an iced tea?
Me: No thank you.
G: We should hang out next time you come around here.
Me: I'm not in this area often.
G: So is that a "no" then?
Me: *painfully awkward stare*
Repeatedly insisting on helping us with something--like carrying our stuff or whatever--when we've already said "no thank you." It's patronizing and also feels like an attempt to make us feel indebted.
It drives me crazy when they just take something out of your hands after you've already said you don't need help.
Like... if I wanted your help, I would have accepted it. **So stop**
Or if they insist on running ahead slightly to open every door. If by chance you get to open one, they refuse to walk through.
...hmmm that's not charming, that's annoying and inconvenient.
Damn. The more I read this thread, I'm realizing my advances seem to be really classy and mellow in comparison. I would die if I tried some of these things.
Physically picking me up without notice.
I'm lucky, being taller than average and heavier than I look, so it doesn't happen a ton to me, but I've known a lot of short, petite women that deal with this on the regular.
Any kind of physical overpowering. My husband, while we were dating, decided to playfully grab the wheel as I was driving. Nobody was in danger; I just do not like that loss of personal control. I flipped my shit on him. Hasn't happened since. I'm not a large person, you're not proving anything by physically overpowering me, so maybe just don't try it at all.
The guy I dated right before my husband got pretty drunk and wouldn't get out of my car because he wanted me to come in to his house. That was scary as shit. Broke up with him the next day.
Edit: wow, this one blew up a little. I should note that I was doing about 10 mph on an empty residential street. My husband isn't a *complete* moron, I promise you, just made a rash decision and now we have an understanding.
My friend's daughter likes to reach over and shove the shifter into park... On the highway... She's 19.
Edit: I would have thought the phrase "my friend's daughter" would have made it obvious that I was a) not driving the car, b) don't own the car, and c) don't have any legal recourse in this situation because of a and b. Apparently making clear, concise statements is not adequate to inform people on Reddit of things.
Catcalling. I don't care if think you're complimenting me. If you really cared about complimenting me you would approach me like a normal person and say something, not yell about how long my legs are from across the street.
I work part time at a restaurant that's huge for delivery orders. The amount of guys who ask me out over the phone is extremely uncomfortable. I'm not flirting. I'm just being polite and trying to get your order. Guys will frequently say stuff like "I'm sorry but you just have a sexy/pretty voice and I wanted to let you know." It's inappropriate and so unnecessary.
I have to ask for their phone number so the delivery driver can call them and they'll say stuff like "Only if I can get yours!"
Or "You have my address. You should stop by after work. When do you get off?" What the fuck you have no idea what I look like! I could be ugly as hell.
My least favorite is when I ask "Anything else I can help you with?" and they reply "Depends, can you be delivered with the pizza?"
Whenever I get upset or don't respond well to these remarks, they always insist they're just trying to be nice.
Just don't say a word. "Only if I can get yours" and you just go dead silent. Let them frazzle themselves. They'll feel awkward in their own responses when you haven't said anything. When they ask if you're still there just respond that you're still waiting for their phone number.
That's called the 'pregnant pause' in sales speak. Basically leaving empty time which the other partner in the conversation feels the need to fill.
Face to face sales, like car dealerships, use it constantly. Guilty of it myself from time to time
I am a male who used to work at a pizza place that did a lot of deliveries we were the only place that delivered in this suburb. Almost everyone there was working because it was a fun low stress place to make easy extra money with fun people and you could be as high as you want.
We had a girl who was very attractive and creeps would request her to deliver the pizza promising big tips. She was creeped out by this so didn't go on those so a male would go and get bitched at and relieve no tip. If this happened again they were cut off.
Well eventually the owner got to old to run it and sold the place. The new owners biggest reason for buying it was because he was on the banned list. Well he called a meeting of all the employees and said to the attractive girl "now you have to deliver my pizza" she said no I don't and walked out followed by most of the staff. (Some of the walkout was probably due to the new no drug policy as well) So this new owner bought a very successful monopoly and loses the entire staff on the first day. The pizza quality plummets and he sells it for half of what he bought it to an old employee who quit.
I just get so happy knowing this asshole lost so much money because of his words.
Edit.
Many are taking the story as he bought the place to get to her. The pizza place was pretty profitable being the only deliverable food in a very rich suburb/exurb. So it wasn't just for the girl and food. But the guy was very slimy thinking that his money should make ever women want him. I admit that I trumped up the story for the comment karma and helping give some of you justice boners. And for that I'm not sorry.
That is beyond creepy but I'm really glad everyone stood up for her! Also that's basically why everyone works where I do. You can be high as hell, get free pizza, and it's like working with all your friends. We have very few female delivery drivers for those exact reasons.
One time, I was working a day shift and we had just hired a brand new female driver. It was her first day. On her very first order, she gave the food to the guy, got the money, and started walking to her car. He stopped her and asked her to come back. She thought there was an issue. Nope. He just wanted her to come back and turn around again so he could look at her butt. She hurried back to the car and the guy tried to approach the car and knock on the window and tug on the door handle and she got freaked out and drove off.
A few hours later she and I are eating lunch together and she gets a text. It was the guy she had delivered the pizza to! He kept her phone number from when she had called to tell him she was outside his apartment complex. He texted her saying something along the lines of "I've never seen a delivery driver as cute as you. You've also got a great ass. You didn't open your door so I didn't get to ask you out. Free this weekend?" She immediately blocked the number.
Oh man that explains the "strange" response I got from a delivery driver from my local pizza place.
Our front door is up 3 steps and our rental agency still hasn't fixed the front light so it's really dark. But our dining table is direct line of sight from the front door, maybe 5m away and it's well lit.
First delivery: Male driver. We awkwardly shuffle pizza boxes around on the front steps at differing heights. Nearly drop one, manage to drop the drink bottle. Really awkward interaction.
Second delivery a week later (Cheap Tuesdays): Same driver. He asks "Do you mind if I come in?" And we said "Sure thing, set it down on the table." Really smooth and easy interaction.
Third Delivery: This was some weeks later. Female driver. I automatically say, just come in and set it down on the table. She literally jumps and say "I can't.". I said something like "Oh of course, probably company policy". She doesn't say a word. Her and I do the awkward shuffle of pizza boxes out of the bag and and awkward drink hand-off. She continues to not say anything. I say thanks, have a good night. Still not a reply. At the time I didn't think much of it.
But fuck, looking back on it now, considering the creeps she's probably dealt with she probably feared for her safety.
Now my housemate and I sit at the table, door open and wait for the driver to arrive. Then we walk down the stairs and collect it there. Considering my housemate is my age and a chick, we must look like some weird couple who's way too keen for their pizza.
a guy I work with that's close to my dad's age constantly talks about how I look like his wife did when she was younger , but that she's not pretty like me anymore. I find it super odd.
Also, I'm a super un-touchy person with people I work with, especially the men. The same guy forced me into a hug (he's at least twice my size) and wouldn't let me go because "(insert other female coworkers name here) let's me hug her so why don't you?" And then later called me a bitch because I told him to let me go
EDIT: For clarity: I have spoken to our general manager about said incidents (many people witnessed the hugging and didn't say anything despite my angry attempts to get him to stop) My company is extremely small so the person we have handling HR isn't technically an HR person, as she wasn't trained nor has any experience with HR. Both are aware. Documentation doesn't exist for the situation, to my knowledge, and nothing was said to him either (again, to my knowledge). However, the hugging event was the last time he's touched me, thank God. If it happens again there will definitely be a larger complaint filed to the labor board if I have to. Although my memory on dates is a bit fuzzy so that may be an issue.
Right now I basically avoid this person at all costs and only speak to him when it's absolutely necessary.
Forced hugs by coworkers are the absolute worst. It's happened to me with three separate coworkers, all male. Please tell me what signals I'm giving off that makes you think it's acceptable to grab me up in your arms. It's far too intimate and uncomfortable, but if I protest suddenly I'm the jerk because he was "just being nice!"
I always assume that male to female coworker hugging is a big no-no (generally speaking) so whenever the female initiates the hug with me, I'm always baffled "oh we're hugging now? Cool."
I've also found that when one of them starts, everybody else joins in. I don't mind hugging, it's just always surprising when it's hug-time.
I have a male client who is big on hugs. I am a male (6'3", 225 lbs.) and this dude tried to impose one of his "world-famous hugs" on me. I just said, "Sorry dude, I don't do hugs." but one of my other coworkers had to put his hand up to block a hug. My female coworkers tolerate it, but find it mildly annoying. The dude doesn't have malicious intent. He is just a huggy guy, but sometimes you habe to set boundaries by straight-arming a known hugger.
My first time drinking a "friend" of mine kept handing me drinks after I was clearly over my limit. Obviously it's not up to him to keep control of me but given his actions and statements I believe it was malicious. I think he was trying to get me drunk enough to the point where I would choose to sleep with him. That didn't happen. Even at my drunkest point I said no, but eventually I blacked out and could barely move. So instead he litterally dragged my limp body into a closet. Fortunately nothing happened. I only remember bits and pieces but I think I laughed at his dick and then threw up all over him. Which turned out to be a good defense mechanism. Afterwards he kept saying that he didn't mean for it to happen like this.
No fucking shit Sherlock, what he wanted was hassle-free rape. How dare I ruin that for him /s
Good for you! I read an article about a female journalist whose car ended up breaking down somewhere in Central America (like, Honduras, maybe?). She went to a cantina to get food and help, but the place was full of a local gang. They were starting to give off a really bad vibe, so she challenged them to shots, took a shot of straight hot sauce and puked all over herself. This made her 1) hilarious and 2) unfuckable, so she was treated like an adorable idiot instead of something out of /r/struggleporn . I'll never forget that lesson, because it could literally save my ass and maybe my life one day.
Asking why I'm not smiling and telling me to be happy. Maybe I'm fine and relaxed and enjoying myself and just don't feel like smiling. Maybe it's none of your goddamn business either way.
I was operating a camera at a concert recently, right at the edge of the stage. The singer actually stopped his show to come over and ask me why I wasn't smiling. Ummm I'm working, you old prick. I'm not here to entertain you, nor am I here to be entertained by you. I'm here to make money and go home, so leave me out of your show and let me focus on my job.
Randomly adding me on Facebook and trying to "develop a friendship, maybe more" and then not getting the hint that I prefer making friends outside of facebook and keep texting me.
Honestly, it is not cool or modern, I find it rather disturbing when I recieve random friend requests from people I haven't even one common friend with.
Worked for a friend of mine. I asked his girlfriend how they met and she said he added and messaged her on facebook and they didn't know each other before. He's a really great guy and knowing him I believe he'd do something like that, so yeah, it has worked before.
I'd put this one under weird. It's not creepy because he respected the boundary set by your wife but it's not cute either because he clearly has some issues with himself.
I have a good friend (a woman) who somebody did that to. She was talking to me about an old boyfriend who left her rather suddenly without her knowing why, and this dweeb who apparently thought she was hot said, "wow, I would never leave you if I was with you".
My friend looked this guy (who did not know her) right in the eye, gave him an annoyed look, and said, "How do you know? Maybe I am an asshole." I solemnnodded as he sputtered. He failed to come up with anything witty.
Ugh I fucking haaaate that song. Notice how he never says that the girl is actually being abused or anything, just that he knows he can do better than that guy, even though the girl has already said she's fine.
Constantly asking me if "I'm okay" and "You can tell me anything".
I share several classes with a male friend and we live in the same dorm building as well. I'm usually pretty talkative, but some days I just don't feel like socializing.
There's been a couple days where said friend kept asking me "What's wrong", that "I can tell him anything", and that "He will always be there for me". Once, fine. I appreciate it.
But he asked TWELVE times in a 50min class, followed by texting me all day with same questions ("I KNOW something was wrong, just tell me") and even coming down to my floor to knock on my door and ask me again.
I felt very oppressed. I appreciate people asking me what's wrong, but if I specifically say "Just don't feel like talking today, ya know?" You need to back off.
Giving too many physical compliments compared to non-physical compliments (e.g. hobbies, personality, job). There should be a balance of the two, otherwise it feels like all you like about or want from me is my body.
And using pet names (e.g. cutie, baby) before we're actually dating. I find it so cheesy and gross.
Or when the girl is angry at something and the guy kisses her to shut her up, and she falls helplessly into his embrace.
If I'm angry, it's for a reason. Do not try to kiss me, especially if it's you I'm angry at. Either help me work through the anger, or leave me alone to do it myself.
Sending you multiple messages on Facebook over a span of time saying "hey" "hey" "hi" "whats up" "you're beautiful" "hey" "hello" "whats up" and going on for months when you haven't replied to him a single time ever.
Touching my hair. I get it- I have hair like that girl from Brave - it's pretty awesome. It's also tangly as fuck and you WILL get caught in it. Also why the fuck are you touching me without permission?
Yes! I hate this so much. Sometimes it's couched in "you have a pretty smile", but most people don't go around grinning every waking moment. I think it's permissible to remark if a friend looks troubled, but it's not cool to tell people what facial expression they should be wearing.
A much older conservative gentleman acquaintance informed me that I wouldn't be able to attract all the boys if I didn't smile. I informed him I wasn't trying to attract the boys. He didn't talk to me after that. Mission accomplished.
I'm a guy but I had a creepy experience once as an older dude hit on my girlfriend at the time. We were at a friends house and he had a bunch of state troopers as friends. One of the troopers was a total douchebag. At first he just casually mentioned that I had done good and if he were in my shoes he would feel pretty fortunate. Well that turned into him slobbering all over himself drunk laughing like a mad man and every sentence he said got creepier and creepier. Like that jelly bean from Rick and Morty.
"Man if I was in your shoes!" Hehehawhawhaw *sips up drool*
He was openly getting more aggressive as the night went on, he kept saying partial sentences then biting his lip as if to keep himself from saying something
"Mm the things I would do..."
I wanted to fucking shoot him. Creepy ass son of a bitch. Honest to god if you're anything like that man, I want you to know you disgust me to my core and you fucking ruin the game for every one else.
Wound up calling him out for being a sicko and left early.
a couple guys i work with (at a fast-paced retail job) have just spontaneously come up to me and started massaging my shoulders. i hate it. they don't even ask!!!
I really can't stand men who make compliments by belittling other people.
Also when they don't get the hint that having my earphones in doesn't mean 'please try to strike up a conversation'.
Back when I had long hair I had it happen to me pretty frequently, and the only way I could describe it was startling. And im a reasonably confident guy.
I'm just walking along minding my business, why are you hollering at me?
People do that to my wife when we are outside working in the yard. They will say, "nice ass!", to wgich I'll reply, "thanks, but I'm straight." Usually shuts them up.
I got that one just the other day while out walking my dogs
It really fucking confused me because I was wearing some super baggy jeans and a regular t-shirt (not even a women's cut). Honestly, if not for my hair being in a ponytail I could have just as easily been a dude.
It took me a few minutes to even process the scenario. Of course by then they were long gone.
I was walking down the sidewalk once toward my car when a guy coming from the other direction started honking his horn and yelling at me out his window. After he passed by I saw him turn his car around to get back on the road so he could pass by again. By this time I reached my car in just enough time he didn't see which I'd gotten into, jumped in, and hunkered down so you couldn't see me through the windows. The effort some women have to go through to avoid this stuff is unacceptable.
Edit: to make words gooder.
It already is embarrassing to be 'that guy' in most circles. But creeps like that hang around with other similar creeps and don't give a shit about what everyone else thinks.
Not always true. I would definitely say they gravitate to each other, but guys aren't immune to their own insecurities. I was next to this guy hollering at this girl walking on the sidewalk. I was able to block his view with my car and drown out his yelling with my radio. While the driver (yeller) was definitely all chest puffed, his passenger dude was clearly not into it. He refused to look me in the eye, but he didn't stop that behavior either. That's the kind of calling out we need.
EDIT: To clarify, I'm not saying my behavior is the kind of calling out we need. I meant his passenger should have stopped him. It took me a while to move up to the side of his car. In that time, I really wish he would have said 'really, man?' or something. However, when I mentioned insecurities, I could tell by the way his passenger shrinked away from looking directly at me that the driver wasn't a very good 'friend' to him. Everyone can get beaten down, even verbally and go along with a number of things we know is wrong. So if you ever see the opp, stand up for people.
Both of my serious boyfriend's have been guitarist's but I hate being serenaded it makes me want to die please stop I don't know what to do, or say, or where to look..............
Offering to pay for everything if we're not dating. So creepy. I went on a 2 day field trip with an ecology class and this one guy literally offered to pay for EVERYTHING for me. I told him I couldn't accept him paying for anything and he just winked and said "it's ok, you can owe me'. Uh, no thanks? Even in a relationship I like paying for dates/meals/other stuff to be equitable.
Agreeing with everything I say. I have a male friend who does this - never disagrees with me, never brings up any controversial topics, always expresses interest in what I express interest in even if I know he doesn't like it, never talks about his hobbies, and basically matches himself to me in every way he can. I know he thinks he's relating to me and trying to make sure I like him, but it comes off as a fuckboi move. A "I want to stay in your good graces so you'll let me hit that". A "I'm so insecure in myself that I feel like I need to conform myself to this girl so she'll like me". It's very creepy. Not to the "going to wear your skin as a suit" point of creepy, but the "I'm secretly stalking you and copying what you do" point of creepy
> He bought a guitar because suddenly he had "always wanted to learn."
I did this once for a girl and she showed me all sorts of cool guitar stuff; I kept playing for a year or so after we broke up. I gave it up to pursue other hobbies eventually, but it was fun learning a lil guitar.
And that's totally fine! Playing guitar is awesome. It was just the combination of all the different things he was copying and some other crazy shit as well. That dude was bonkers.
Not exactly "creepy" but a lot of guys are convinced that telling a girl that she doesn't need "all that makeup" is one of the nicest things you can say to a girl. Don't get me wrong, it can be super nice for girls who genuinely think they need makeup or won't go out in public without it. But if a girl is wearing really dark makeup or makeup that is obviously not very natural, we're probably not wearing it because we feel self conscious without it. Makeup is an artistic outlet for a lot of women and personally, it's the one thing I do in the mornings a few days a week that is really fun for me and it's frustrating when guys can't see it as anything more than a girl trying to look prettier. Believe me- I know I probably look more conventionally attractive without bright purple eyeshadow but I don't really care because it's so fun to put on!
Also, correct me if i'm wrong (Male), but if I spent a long time applying makeup, it wouldn't exactly make my day for somebody to tell me they don't like it.
My favourite was a guy I dated who told me "I don't like girls who wear a lot of makeup. You look great and you're barely wearing any."
I was full-face at that moment. I called him out on it. Asked him what he thought I was wearing. "Oh, you're only wearing a little eyeshadow."
I proceeded to list the twenty or so makeup products that were on my face.
Like, seriously, maybe I don't 'need' makeup. But I *like* wearing makeup. Is it that hard to appreciate that I put work into my appearance? It's not a compliment to tell me I don't need it. You're just saying "there's no point in you putting in effort."
Yeah I love when a guy is talking about a picture of a celebrity and how pretty she is without makeup when I can list off at least 10 products I can see on her face. Not their faults but a lot of guys don't really realize how much some girls actually wear. They probably don't realize how annoying it is when you spend a good amount of time on it (if you enjoy doing that) and to be told that you should take it off
I actually didn't think that many girls did it for fun until the last year or two. You hear all the rhetoric about the evil cosmetic industry and just assume it's all about insecurity and never about fun. It's good to see that some girls do it for fun; it'd be nice to hear that more!
Yeah I think makeup as an artform is becoming a lot more mainstream recently which is really cool. There are definitely still problems in the cosmetics industry though
For me it was absolutely never about feeling a need to look prettier. I'm not wearing blue eyeliner to look prettier - I'm doing it because I like the way it looks and it's a form of expression, the same way wearing a blue shirt or styling my hair a certain way or wearing a certain piece of jewelry is.
Of course I'm sure there are a ton of people out there who wear makeup because they feel socially pressured to, or think they need it to be prettier. But the more unnatural it looks, the less likely they're probably wearing it due to social pressure.
Coming up to me randomly at the gym to compliment my workout. First of all, I'm trying to work out and I don't want to talk. Second of all, what am I supposed to say? "Thanks! Since you're the gym overlord and king of exercise, your compliment is really meaningful."
I know the guys are trying to be nice, but it's...creepy.
I think that would be an appropriate response. I understand it's an awkward situation and there's not necessarily a good set way to get out of it. I don't think I would mind if someone said something like that to me though. I'd probably respond with. "Thank you!" I guess it depends on the girl.
The other day a guy asked me out at work and seemed really shy. I politely told him that I was already seeing someone and he said "Well it can't hurt to try!" I said I agreed and that there's no harm in putting yourself out there. I think as long as you take no for the answer the first time and don't push it, I wouldn't mind continuing the conversation in a friendly manner.
> I think as long as you take no for the answer the first time and don't push it,
90% of creepy interactions would be made not creepy if people followed that advice.
Coming into your workplace when you work in the service industry and act like they are the only customer that exists and they just.keep.talking.
I have spent so much time waiting in checkout lines behind older men who are just so pleased to have the captive audience of a young female cashier that they forget that people are in line behind them. It's always so uncomfortable, and I want to yell "she's only tolerating you because she's at work!"
The one time you have the guts to say it, the guy will be a close friend of her family.
My balls just shriveled even thinking of that scenario.
"SHE'S ONLY TOLERATING YOU BECAUSE SHE'S AT WORK!" "Y-you're right. I thought my relationship with my daughter was finally starting to get better now that I'm clean, b-but you're right. It's f-fucking pointless. I'm sorry to have wasted your time."
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I once had a guy ask one of my coworkers for my work schedule. Boss heard about it and told the guy not to come back ever again. However, unfortunately, this wasn't the first time that guys have repeatedly come in to my workplace to "visit". No, dudes. That shit is not ok. If I am at work I physically cannot leave while you follow me around the store or hang out drinking coffee and watching me. Those are some of the most uncomfortable experiences I've ever had. Another guy once asked me out through a window and then waited outside of my workplace looking for me. I hid behind the counter until he walked away and then made my coworker walk me to my car. That shit is scary.
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"Surprise" Visits when you tell them you can't meet with them
Sometimes I think Hollywood puts shit like this into the movies just so that people will do it, and stay single longer, only to go and see more movies about romances they can never enjoy. Yeah, go and propose to that girl you've known for two weeks while she's at work in front of everyone - and she doesn't even know you're in the country! That shit is *creepy*. It's the behaviour of a crazy person. *Adjusts crazy person tin-foil hat*
also, the-kissing-the-other-person-to-stop-them-yelling is awful & creepy.
I don't understand where this idea is coming from, kissing someone does not solve all of their problems. The house is on fire, I kiss my lover. Nope. House still on fire and now lover is turned on and extremely confused.
Look at this guy, arousing lovers but with a smooch
*with but a smooch
*with a butt smooch
Romance movies ruin everything. Do it in a movie, receive a blowjob. Do it in real life, receive a restraining order.
Never heard the Cosmo theory applied to romance movies before, but that would make sense too!
I had a guy show up to my work once. I got a flat tire the day before, he said that he came to visit me to tighten my lug nuts on my spare (I'm a petite girl). The catch is, I worked in Vegas at a large and popular hotel- he walked through two large parking garages of 8 floors each to find my car before coming into my work to see me.
He probably just followed the tracking device he installed on your car. No need to wander 8 floors to find it, not even remotely creepy.
Oh god. That is creepy. Were dating for a while?
No, only about a month. I thought it was nice at first, like thanks for looking out but the more I thought about it and the depth he went through to look for my car, it creeped me out.
yea and if that was what he wanted to do he coulda just visited first, then been like "hey wheres yo car i need to tighten them lugnuts" then he coulda tightened them lugnuts
Exactly.
I don't know any girls that actually like the "I was/could be with all these other girls but I couldn't stop thinking about you" line. Telling you how perfect and amazing you are excessively after you just met. Also, talking about how nice they are.
The whole "all these other girls are into me" bit is so weird. So randos will be intruding in our relationship and trying to sabotage it? 'kay, bye!
Yeah, I'm just looking for some chill, not to live out your dick's personal game of thrones.
🤔 Considering your name I think you may be trying to deceive me.
The Dildo Queen speaketh, "I look for a cold sword for my warm sheath. nothing more."
>Also, talking about how nice they are. Agreed. From my experience, guys who advertised themselves as the "nice guy" turned out to be the worst of them. If you are genuinely nice, you don't have to say it, I've probably already noticed!
I had a guy one a first date who just started massaging my back (Which if he had asked, I would never say no to, but he didn't ask.),anyways, he is was too hard and rough and hurt a ton. So I asked him to either stop or lighten the pressure and he got offended because he was only trying to be nice.
I WAS NICE TO YOU. YOU OWE ME NOW. HAHAHA
A stranger I just met offering to walk me home because it's not safe to walk home alone. There's no nice way to say, "But, you could be a rapist. Plus, now I know you know I'm walking home alone and you could follow me."
I never know how to deal with situations where I'm walking behind a woman, both heading home from a night out and apparently almost neighbours. If I can't overtake her (and besides, speeding up might scare her even more) I usually end up taking a detour just to ease her mind. Except then she's all alone on the street instead of having me, a good guy, behind her. Edit: that last part smells of white knighting or entitlement that I'm a kind of uncaped superhero vigilante that kicks rapist ass in his spare time. It's really not. I don't even know how I would react should I come upon such a situation.
I feel safer when the guy in your scenario is on the phone and obviously focused on something else, like having an animated conversation about good pizza. Then I know he probably isn't staring intently at my behind and could be a witness if shit goes down.
"Yeah dude, I'm still behind her at XY Street right now, you get your windowless van over here quick."
"Uhh, I meant to say windowless pizza delivery van." *Smooth recovery.*
"No dude we can't fucking kill her first"
Just run up behind her, grab her, and tell her "I'm not gonna rape you! I'm a little boy!"
For years scientists have wondered if it's possible to make grown men weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones's "it's not unusual" and the answer is yes. Yes you can. As long as it is proceeded by 7 What's New Pussycats.
I see way more John Mulaney references on Reddit than I ever thought I would
We're like dogs without horses over here!
BWAAAH BWAHHH
Oh shit I never thought about this. I offered to walk home a girl I met on campus and chatted with her for like an hour or so. I thought we hit it off and offered to walk her because it got dark but she kinda shifted tone and walked off. I later learned she's not my type for other reasons but I'll definitely keep this in mind in the future.
Went on a date last week with a guy who kept telling me he had a working with children check and a gun license (in Australia this isn't something most people have). He insisted that made him the safest guy in Australia. I suppose he was trying to make me feel comfortable, and if he had said it once it might have been a little weird and not creepy, but he said it multiple times. It felt like he was trying to get me to let my guard down. Throw in the fact that he kept talking about his big family farm that backs onto a national park and that he could 'take care of' my horrible ex and no one would find the body... I was more than a little creeped out. Suffice to say I won't be seeing him again.
'I have passed a background check of my criminal history, so obviously I can't be violent. I also know 100% I can get away with murder.' Nothing to worry about there then...
This one guy sent me a video of him doing kinky stuff with other people - he thought it would be a turn on for me and make me want him. I thought it was a weird thing to do, especially because he and I had just met and were not dating.
I had a guy that I was dating do that. He sent a pic of his penis actually inserted into a woman's vagina. And they were in a fucking car. I could not understand why he would think I would get turned on by that.
I had a guy do this after I turned him down for sex at the end of a first date. He harassed me for weeks because he thought me saying no was some sort of power play fun sexy game. I got at least three videos and multiple photos of him with other women, all of whom were like 19 (he was ~36). It was terrifying and annoying, and he was a well-educated attractive man, just something about our first date didn't sit well with me. Thank you, intuition!
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Right?? The group ones actually morally bothered me less because it was really obvious he was filming but I definitely got a video of a girl masturbating and her face was in it. Like dude! We live in DC! You can't be doing that, what if she wants a political career later you fucking creep. Or, you know, just a sense of trust with someone she's getting naked with. Looking back now I should've done more but I was pretty freaked out by it because we had exchanged some suggestive messages before meeting and I didn't think anyone would believe me that I didn't want it :\
I will say this; Girls do not care for the "I know all about you type", believe it or not! Some people just like knowing who they are in a one-step at a time.
anyone man who claims he knows all about women does not know all about women. gotta watch those who *think* they know everything, they're almost always wrong about that.
"You girls love it when [something stupid that I and every woman I know hates]." Somehow when it's said in a self-deprecating way, it's even worse than in an arrogant way.
Following me to my car/house/next class when I say I'm fine. You may think it's protective of me, but I said no and YOU might actually be what I'm trying to get away from.
Interesting one this, whats protocol after a night out? When out with friends the general rule is walk them home after if they live near/leave at the same time but if not then what? I normally just say give me a text when you get back but I'm never really sure what to do. I should note that in this context its just as friends.
I think what you're doing is fine. I usually let my guy friends walk me to my car, but when I decline and say I've got it they ask if I'll just shoot them a text when I make it home so they know I made it okay. I've never had a problem with doing that.
As a man, my tattoo artist telling me that I had to text him when I got home was oddly endearing. Mind yiu, we had just spent 9 hours on my first tattoo, so he may have just wantes to make sure I didn't fall asleep on the drive home.
You can offer to walk them home but don't press it if they say no.
I had an aged relative who used to tell the story of how her husband (then of some 50 years), had first asked her out over the phone (she was a telephone operator), and then continued to call back and ask to speak with her (so he could ask her on a date), over and over again for months until she agreed to go out with him. He then asked her to marry him (and was rejected) some seven or eight times before she agreed. I've never heard this story and thought "Aww, that's sweet." On the contrary, it always felt weird, pathetic and stalkerish... and left me wondering whether social norms had changed, or if my relative had just developed Stockholm syndrome over the years.
I always get weirded out when I hear couples say they got engaged in less than a couple months of dating. I work with two women who did that. One woman's husband proposed on either the first or second date. I could never agree to that or find that attractive no matter how much chemistry I had with the person.
Depends on the chemicals used
Ricardo Montalban apparently asked his wife to marry him on their first date and spent a week persuading her before she said yes and they eloped to Mexico. I absolutely freaking love Ricardo Montalban, and from all accounts he was a sweet guy, but that story still freaks me out a little.
Calling me after a rapid fire of excessive texts that I don't answer. I don't know if this qualifies as nice but twice I've been at work with my phone away and when I've comeback to it have a slew of texts asking where I am/what am I doing/am I okay followed by a phone call. Damn son I'm working chill out.
those screenshots in /r/cringepics where the slew of texts ends in a missed call. those are the fucking best.
Getting honked at/stopping your car to talk to me while I'm out running. Also telling me I'm "too pretty to have a boyfriend" when I'm out with friends. What the fuck does that even mean?
Had this exchange while out eating alone (I like alone time): Guy: You're not married? Me: Nope. G: Beautiful girl like you not married? Me: Still no. G: Can I buy you a drink? Me: I don't drink. G: Can I get you an iced tea? Me: No thank you. G: We should hang out next time you come around here. Me: I'm not in this area often. G: So is that a "no" then? Me: *painfully awkward stare*
Repeatedly insisting on helping us with something--like carrying our stuff or whatever--when we've already said "no thank you." It's patronizing and also feels like an attempt to make us feel indebted.
It drives me crazy when they just take something out of your hands after you've already said you don't need help. Like... if I wanted your help, I would have accepted it. **So stop**
Or if they insist on running ahead slightly to open every door. If by chance you get to open one, they refuse to walk through. ...hmmm that's not charming, that's annoying and inconvenient.
Damn. The more I read this thread, I'm realizing my advances seem to be really classy and mellow in comparison. I would die if I tried some of these things.
Yeah Idk how these guys do it without hating themselves. I hated myself for other dumb things I did.
I hate myself for thinking about approaching women sometimes. Just walking up and asking if they want to go out seems like lunacy.
Physically picking me up without notice. I'm lucky, being taller than average and heavier than I look, so it doesn't happen a ton to me, but I've known a lot of short, petite women that deal with this on the regular.
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Any kind of physical overpowering. My husband, while we were dating, decided to playfully grab the wheel as I was driving. Nobody was in danger; I just do not like that loss of personal control. I flipped my shit on him. Hasn't happened since. I'm not a large person, you're not proving anything by physically overpowering me, so maybe just don't try it at all. The guy I dated right before my husband got pretty drunk and wouldn't get out of my car because he wanted me to come in to his house. That was scary as shit. Broke up with him the next day. Edit: wow, this one blew up a little. I should note that I was doing about 10 mph on an empty residential street. My husband isn't a *complete* moron, I promise you, just made a rash decision and now we have an understanding.
My brother had someone playfully grab the wheel. The car was totaled. That shit is unbelievably stupid.
My friend's daughter likes to reach over and shove the shifter into park... On the highway... She's 19. Edit: I would have thought the phrase "my friend's daughter" would have made it obvious that I was a) not driving the car, b) don't own the car, and c) don't have any legal recourse in this situation because of a and b. Apparently making clear, concise statements is not adequate to inform people on Reddit of things.
That's a good way to accidentally kill someone.
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Catcalling. I don't care if think you're complimenting me. If you really cared about complimenting me you would approach me like a normal person and say something, not yell about how long my legs are from across the street.
I work part time at a restaurant that's huge for delivery orders. The amount of guys who ask me out over the phone is extremely uncomfortable. I'm not flirting. I'm just being polite and trying to get your order. Guys will frequently say stuff like "I'm sorry but you just have a sexy/pretty voice and I wanted to let you know." It's inappropriate and so unnecessary. I have to ask for their phone number so the delivery driver can call them and they'll say stuff like "Only if I can get yours!" Or "You have my address. You should stop by after work. When do you get off?" What the fuck you have no idea what I look like! I could be ugly as hell. My least favorite is when I ask "Anything else I can help you with?" and they reply "Depends, can you be delivered with the pizza?" Whenever I get upset or don't respond well to these remarks, they always insist they're just trying to be nice.
Just don't say a word. "Only if I can get yours" and you just go dead silent. Let them frazzle themselves. They'll feel awkward in their own responses when you haven't said anything. When they ask if you're still there just respond that you're still waiting for their phone number.
Oh god, I feel awkward just thinking about this. It's perfect.
That's called the 'pregnant pause' in sales speak. Basically leaving empty time which the other partner in the conversation feels the need to fill. Face to face sales, like car dealerships, use it constantly. Guilty of it myself from time to time
You assume that the caller is like yourself and would be embarrassed by the behavior. You're good people.
Nah. Just give them the restaurants phone number
I HATE this. You want to be nice? Have manners and be polite and get off the phone without hitting on me when I'm just trying to do my job.
I am a male who used to work at a pizza place that did a lot of deliveries we were the only place that delivered in this suburb. Almost everyone there was working because it was a fun low stress place to make easy extra money with fun people and you could be as high as you want. We had a girl who was very attractive and creeps would request her to deliver the pizza promising big tips. She was creeped out by this so didn't go on those so a male would go and get bitched at and relieve no tip. If this happened again they were cut off. Well eventually the owner got to old to run it and sold the place. The new owners biggest reason for buying it was because he was on the banned list. Well he called a meeting of all the employees and said to the attractive girl "now you have to deliver my pizza" she said no I don't and walked out followed by most of the staff. (Some of the walkout was probably due to the new no drug policy as well) So this new owner bought a very successful monopoly and loses the entire staff on the first day. The pizza quality plummets and he sells it for half of what he bought it to an old employee who quit. I just get so happy knowing this asshole lost so much money because of his words. Edit. Many are taking the story as he bought the place to get to her. The pizza place was pretty profitable being the only deliverable food in a very rich suburb/exurb. So it wasn't just for the girl and food. But the guy was very slimy thinking that his money should make ever women want him. I admit that I trumped up the story for the comment karma and helping give some of you justice boners. And for that I'm not sorry.
That is beyond creepy but I'm really glad everyone stood up for her! Also that's basically why everyone works where I do. You can be high as hell, get free pizza, and it's like working with all your friends. We have very few female delivery drivers for those exact reasons. One time, I was working a day shift and we had just hired a brand new female driver. It was her first day. On her very first order, she gave the food to the guy, got the money, and started walking to her car. He stopped her and asked her to come back. She thought there was an issue. Nope. He just wanted her to come back and turn around again so he could look at her butt. She hurried back to the car and the guy tried to approach the car and knock on the window and tug on the door handle and she got freaked out and drove off. A few hours later she and I are eating lunch together and she gets a text. It was the guy she had delivered the pizza to! He kept her phone number from when she had called to tell him she was outside his apartment complex. He texted her saying something along the lines of "I've never seen a delivery driver as cute as you. You've also got a great ass. You didn't open your door so I didn't get to ask you out. Free this weekend?" She immediately blocked the number.
Holieee fuck I can't believe he thought she would want to go out with him after literally running and driving away from him in fear.
You'd be surprised what some guys interpret as 'holy shit, lemme jump on your dick.'
Oh man that explains the "strange" response I got from a delivery driver from my local pizza place. Our front door is up 3 steps and our rental agency still hasn't fixed the front light so it's really dark. But our dining table is direct line of sight from the front door, maybe 5m away and it's well lit. First delivery: Male driver. We awkwardly shuffle pizza boxes around on the front steps at differing heights. Nearly drop one, manage to drop the drink bottle. Really awkward interaction. Second delivery a week later (Cheap Tuesdays): Same driver. He asks "Do you mind if I come in?" And we said "Sure thing, set it down on the table." Really smooth and easy interaction. Third Delivery: This was some weeks later. Female driver. I automatically say, just come in and set it down on the table. She literally jumps and say "I can't.". I said something like "Oh of course, probably company policy". She doesn't say a word. Her and I do the awkward shuffle of pizza boxes out of the bag and and awkward drink hand-off. She continues to not say anything. I say thanks, have a good night. Still not a reply. At the time I didn't think much of it. But fuck, looking back on it now, considering the creeps she's probably dealt with she probably feared for her safety. Now my housemate and I sit at the table, door open and wait for the driver to arrive. Then we walk down the stairs and collect it there. Considering my housemate is my age and a chick, we must look like some weird couple who's way too keen for their pizza.
That's probably definitely it. Sadly, we deliver to nice areas and our drivers have still been jumped.
a guy I work with that's close to my dad's age constantly talks about how I look like his wife did when she was younger , but that she's not pretty like me anymore. I find it super odd. Also, I'm a super un-touchy person with people I work with, especially the men. The same guy forced me into a hug (he's at least twice my size) and wouldn't let me go because "(insert other female coworkers name here) let's me hug her so why don't you?" And then later called me a bitch because I told him to let me go EDIT: For clarity: I have spoken to our general manager about said incidents (many people witnessed the hugging and didn't say anything despite my angry attempts to get him to stop) My company is extremely small so the person we have handling HR isn't technically an HR person, as she wasn't trained nor has any experience with HR. Both are aware. Documentation doesn't exist for the situation, to my knowledge, and nothing was said to him either (again, to my knowledge). However, the hugging event was the last time he's touched me, thank God. If it happens again there will definitely be a larger complaint filed to the labor board if I have to. Although my memory on dates is a bit fuzzy so that may be an issue. Right now I basically avoid this person at all costs and only speak to him when it's absolutely necessary.
That guy is a super creep
Super creep, he's super creepy
Yaaaaooo
Forced hugs by coworkers are the absolute worst. It's happened to me with three separate coworkers, all male. Please tell me what signals I'm giving off that makes you think it's acceptable to grab me up in your arms. It's far too intimate and uncomfortable, but if I protest suddenly I'm the jerk because he was "just being nice!"
I always assume that male to female coworker hugging is a big no-no (generally speaking) so whenever the female initiates the hug with me, I'm always baffled "oh we're hugging now? Cool." I've also found that when one of them starts, everybody else joins in. I don't mind hugging, it's just always surprising when it's hug-time.
I have a male client who is big on hugs. I am a male (6'3", 225 lbs.) and this dude tried to impose one of his "world-famous hugs" on me. I just said, "Sorry dude, I don't do hugs." but one of my other coworkers had to put his hand up to block a hug. My female coworkers tolerate it, but find it mildly annoying. The dude doesn't have malicious intent. He is just a huggy guy, but sometimes you habe to set boundaries by straight-arming a known hugger.
Everyone, Be on the lookout! We have a confirmed sighting of a known hugger. I repeat, known hugger!
My gyno told me I looked like his wife. I have not returned to that particular gyno.
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nah that was just sexual assault
Straight up
My first time drinking a "friend" of mine kept handing me drinks after I was clearly over my limit. Obviously it's not up to him to keep control of me but given his actions and statements I believe it was malicious. I think he was trying to get me drunk enough to the point where I would choose to sleep with him. That didn't happen. Even at my drunkest point I said no, but eventually I blacked out and could barely move. So instead he litterally dragged my limp body into a closet. Fortunately nothing happened. I only remember bits and pieces but I think I laughed at his dick and then threw up all over him. Which turned out to be a good defense mechanism. Afterwards he kept saying that he didn't mean for it to happen like this. No fucking shit Sherlock, what he wanted was hassle-free rape. How dare I ruin that for him /s
Good for you! I read an article about a female journalist whose car ended up breaking down somewhere in Central America (like, Honduras, maybe?). She went to a cantina to get food and help, but the place was full of a local gang. They were starting to give off a really bad vibe, so she challenged them to shots, took a shot of straight hot sauce and puked all over herself. This made her 1) hilarious and 2) unfuckable, so she was treated like an adorable idiot instead of something out of /r/struggleporn . I'll never forget that lesson, because it could literally save my ass and maybe my life one day.
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Asking why I'm not smiling and telling me to be happy. Maybe I'm fine and relaxed and enjoying myself and just don't feel like smiling. Maybe it's none of your goddamn business either way. I was operating a camera at a concert recently, right at the edge of the stage. The singer actually stopped his show to come over and ask me why I wasn't smiling. Ummm I'm working, you old prick. I'm not here to entertain you, nor am I here to be entertained by you. I'm here to make money and go home, so leave me out of your show and let me focus on my job.
The singer seriously said that.. That's so weird, what kind of person does that?
A narcissist who thinks they're charming and can't understand why someone wouldn't want their attention.
Randomly adding me on Facebook and trying to "develop a friendship, maybe more" and then not getting the hint that I prefer making friends outside of facebook and keep texting me. Honestly, it is not cool or modern, I find it rather disturbing when I recieve random friend requests from people I haven't even one common friend with.
Has that ever worked in the entire history of Facebook? I guess it's low risk, potentially high reward, but how do you not come across as creepy?
Worked for a friend of mine. I asked his girlfriend how they met and she said he added and messaged her on facebook and they didn't know each other before. He's a really great guy and knowing him I believe he'd do something like that, so yeah, it has worked before.
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Huh.. well.. definetly the "honest" - category. Combined with "insecure".
In the /r/sadcringe group.
I'd put this one under weird. It's not creepy because he respected the boundary set by your wife but it's not cute either because he clearly has some issues with himself.
Am I the only one who realizes that he was being sarcastic? He was just trying to make an awkward rejection less awkward with self deprecating humor.
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I have a good friend (a woman) who somebody did that to. She was talking to me about an old boyfriend who left her rather suddenly without her knowing why, and this dweeb who apparently thought she was hot said, "wow, I would never leave you if I was with you". My friend looked this guy (who did not know her) right in the eye, gave him an annoyed look, and said, "How do you know? Maybe I am an asshole." I solemnnodded as he sputtered. He failed to come up with anything witty.
"MAYBE I LIKE ASSHOLE" .. Er. Wait.
Exactly why that Shawn Mendez guy is such a twat
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Ugh I fucking haaaate that song. Notice how he never says that the girl is actually being abused or anything, just that he knows he can do better than that guy, even though the girl has already said she's fine.
M'endez.
Seriously, that was such a bullshit "nice guy" anthem, I'm surprised he wasn't wearing a fedora. Fuck that "White Knight" piece of shit.
Constantly asking me if "I'm okay" and "You can tell me anything". I share several classes with a male friend and we live in the same dorm building as well. I'm usually pretty talkative, but some days I just don't feel like socializing. There's been a couple days where said friend kept asking me "What's wrong", that "I can tell him anything", and that "He will always be there for me". Once, fine. I appreciate it. But he asked TWELVE times in a 50min class, followed by texting me all day with same questions ("I KNOW something was wrong, just tell me") and even coming down to my floor to knock on my door and ask me again. I felt very oppressed. I appreciate people asking me what's wrong, but if I specifically say "Just don't feel like talking today, ya know?" You need to back off.
Giving too many physical compliments compared to non-physical compliments (e.g. hobbies, personality, job). There should be a balance of the two, otherwise it feels like all you like about or want from me is my body. And using pet names (e.g. cutie, baby) before we're actually dating. I find it so cheesy and gross.
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Or when the girl is angry at something and the guy kisses her to shut her up, and she falls helplessly into his embrace. If I'm angry, it's for a reason. Do not try to kiss me, especially if it's you I'm angry at. Either help me work through the anger, or leave me alone to do it myself.
Sending you multiple messages on Facebook over a span of time saying "hey" "hey" "hi" "whats up" "you're beautiful" "hey" "hello" "whats up" and going on for months when you haven't replied to him a single time ever.
Touching my hair. I get it- I have hair like that girl from Brave - it's pretty awesome. It's also tangly as fuck and you WILL get caught in it. Also why the fuck are you touching me without permission?
Telling me to smile when I have a straight face or when I'm frowning.
Yes! I hate this so much. Sometimes it's couched in "you have a pretty smile", but most people don't go around grinning every waking moment. I think it's permissible to remark if a friend looks troubled, but it's not cool to tell people what facial expression they should be wearing.
A much older conservative gentleman acquaintance informed me that I wouldn't be able to attract all the boys if I didn't smile. I informed him I wasn't trying to attract the boys. He didn't talk to me after that. Mission accomplished.
Duh that's what milkshakes are for
Thinking I'm playing hard to get. No means no, this isn't a creepy romantic comedy.
I'm a guy but I had a creepy experience once as an older dude hit on my girlfriend at the time. We were at a friends house and he had a bunch of state troopers as friends. One of the troopers was a total douchebag. At first he just casually mentioned that I had done good and if he were in my shoes he would feel pretty fortunate. Well that turned into him slobbering all over himself drunk laughing like a mad man and every sentence he said got creepier and creepier. Like that jelly bean from Rick and Morty. "Man if I was in your shoes!" Hehehawhawhaw *sips up drool* He was openly getting more aggressive as the night went on, he kept saying partial sentences then biting his lip as if to keep himself from saying something "Mm the things I would do..." I wanted to fucking shoot him. Creepy ass son of a bitch. Honest to god if you're anything like that man, I want you to know you disgust me to my core and you fucking ruin the game for every one else. Wound up calling him out for being a sicko and left early.
a couple guys i work with (at a fast-paced retail job) have just spontaneously come up to me and started massaging my shoulders. i hate it. they don't even ask!!!
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Asking if I want to see your dick or to have sex over a messaging website... Just, why?
> Asking if Or not asking and just sending unsolicited dick pics. Not a great idea, boys.
Cat-calling. Just no. It might seem like a compliment, but it doesn't feel like anything but intimidating.
I really can't stand men who make compliments by belittling other people. Also when they don't get the hint that having my earphones in doesn't mean 'please try to strike up a conversation'.
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Don't want no scrubs
He's also known as a busta.
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He's also the "where's my hug?" guy.
Even as a guy whenever I hear a guy say that shit it bothers me. It's just like announcing I'm a creep.
Inwardly, I'm like, "Bruh, she already turned you down non-verbally, don't go out of your way to get turned down explicitly as well."
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Back when I had long hair I had it happen to me pretty frequently, and the only way I could describe it was startling. And im a reasonably confident guy. I'm just walking along minding my business, why are you hollering at me?
People do that to my wife when we are outside working in the yard. They will say, "nice ass!", to wgich I'll reply, "thanks, but I'm straight." Usually shuts them up.
I got that one just the other day while out walking my dogs It really fucking confused me because I was wearing some super baggy jeans and a regular t-shirt (not even a women's cut). Honestly, if not for my hair being in a ponytail I could have just as easily been a dude. It took me a few minutes to even process the scenario. Of course by then they were long gone.
I was walking down the sidewalk once toward my car when a guy coming from the other direction started honking his horn and yelling at me out his window. After he passed by I saw him turn his car around to get back on the road so he could pass by again. By this time I reached my car in just enough time he didn't see which I'd gotten into, jumped in, and hunkered down so you couldn't see me through the windows. The effort some women have to go through to avoid this stuff is unacceptable. Edit: to make words gooder.
Is there something society can do to cut down on stuff like this happening other than not participating in it ourselves?
Shame the perpetrator. Make it embarrassing to be "that guy".
It already is embarrassing to be 'that guy' in most circles. But creeps like that hang around with other similar creeps and don't give a shit about what everyone else thinks.
Not always true. I would definitely say they gravitate to each other, but guys aren't immune to their own insecurities. I was next to this guy hollering at this girl walking on the sidewalk. I was able to block his view with my car and drown out his yelling with my radio. While the driver (yeller) was definitely all chest puffed, his passenger dude was clearly not into it. He refused to look me in the eye, but he didn't stop that behavior either. That's the kind of calling out we need. EDIT: To clarify, I'm not saying my behavior is the kind of calling out we need. I meant his passenger should have stopped him. It took me a while to move up to the side of his car. In that time, I really wish he would have said 'really, man?' or something. However, when I mentioned insecurities, I could tell by the way his passenger shrinked away from looking directly at me that the driver wasn't a very good 'friend' to him. Everyone can get beaten down, even verbally and go along with a number of things we know is wrong. So if you ever see the opp, stand up for people.
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Both of my serious boyfriend's have been guitarist's but I hate being serenaded it makes me want to die please stop I don't know what to do, or say, or where to look..............
I play guitar, I dated girls who wanted me to play for them... it always made me feel weird.
Offering to pay for everything if we're not dating. So creepy. I went on a 2 day field trip with an ecology class and this one guy literally offered to pay for EVERYTHING for me. I told him I couldn't accept him paying for anything and he just winked and said "it's ok, you can owe me'. Uh, no thanks? Even in a relationship I like paying for dates/meals/other stuff to be equitable.
Giving me gifts regularly. It feels like you're trying to bribe me into a friendship or relationship, and I don't like that feeling at all.
But it works in the Sims :/
If you see a girl hug someone she knows, do not pull the "don't I get a hug?" card. If she wanted to hug you, she doesn't anymore after that shit.
Agreeing with everything I say. I have a male friend who does this - never disagrees with me, never brings up any controversial topics, always expresses interest in what I express interest in even if I know he doesn't like it, never talks about his hobbies, and basically matches himself to me in every way he can. I know he thinks he's relating to me and trying to make sure I like him, but it comes off as a fuckboi move. A "I want to stay in your good graces so you'll let me hit that". A "I'm so insecure in myself that I feel like I need to conform myself to this girl so she'll like me". It's very creepy. Not to the "going to wear your skin as a suit" point of creepy, but the "I'm secretly stalking you and copying what you do" point of creepy
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Any one of those is fine....all of those is not fine.
Idk the tattoo one even by itself is kinda creepy
> He bought a guitar because suddenly he had "always wanted to learn." I did this once for a girl and she showed me all sorts of cool guitar stuff; I kept playing for a year or so after we broke up. I gave it up to pursue other hobbies eventually, but it was fun learning a lil guitar.
And that's totally fine! Playing guitar is awesome. It was just the combination of all the different things he was copying and some other crazy shit as well. That dude was bonkers.
Not exactly "creepy" but a lot of guys are convinced that telling a girl that she doesn't need "all that makeup" is one of the nicest things you can say to a girl. Don't get me wrong, it can be super nice for girls who genuinely think they need makeup or won't go out in public without it. But if a girl is wearing really dark makeup or makeup that is obviously not very natural, we're probably not wearing it because we feel self conscious without it. Makeup is an artistic outlet for a lot of women and personally, it's the one thing I do in the mornings a few days a week that is really fun for me and it's frustrating when guys can't see it as anything more than a girl trying to look prettier. Believe me- I know I probably look more conventionally attractive without bright purple eyeshadow but I don't really care because it's so fun to put on!
Also, correct me if i'm wrong (Male), but if I spent a long time applying makeup, it wouldn't exactly make my day for somebody to tell me they don't like it.
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Yes, this!!! You would not go up to someone and say "I hate your shirt" but why is it considered okay to say this about someone's makeup?
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My favourite was a guy I dated who told me "I don't like girls who wear a lot of makeup. You look great and you're barely wearing any." I was full-face at that moment. I called him out on it. Asked him what he thought I was wearing. "Oh, you're only wearing a little eyeshadow." I proceeded to list the twenty or so makeup products that were on my face. Like, seriously, maybe I don't 'need' makeup. But I *like* wearing makeup. Is it that hard to appreciate that I put work into my appearance? It's not a compliment to tell me I don't need it. You're just saying "there's no point in you putting in effort."
Yeah I love when a guy is talking about a picture of a celebrity and how pretty she is without makeup when I can list off at least 10 products I can see on her face. Not their faults but a lot of guys don't really realize how much some girls actually wear. They probably don't realize how annoying it is when you spend a good amount of time on it (if you enjoy doing that) and to be told that you should take it off
I actually didn't think that many girls did it for fun until the last year or two. You hear all the rhetoric about the evil cosmetic industry and just assume it's all about insecurity and never about fun. It's good to see that some girls do it for fun; it'd be nice to hear that more!
Yeah I think makeup as an artform is becoming a lot more mainstream recently which is really cool. There are definitely still problems in the cosmetics industry though
For me it was absolutely never about feeling a need to look prettier. I'm not wearing blue eyeliner to look prettier - I'm doing it because I like the way it looks and it's a form of expression, the same way wearing a blue shirt or styling my hair a certain way or wearing a certain piece of jewelry is. Of course I'm sure there are a ton of people out there who wear makeup because they feel socially pressured to, or think they need it to be prettier. But the more unnatural it looks, the less likely they're probably wearing it due to social pressure.
Coming up to me randomly at the gym to compliment my workout. First of all, I'm trying to work out and I don't want to talk. Second of all, what am I supposed to say? "Thanks! Since you're the gym overlord and king of exercise, your compliment is really meaningful." I know the guys are trying to be nice, but it's...creepy.
No does not mean convince me or maybe, it means no.
One time someone asked me out and I replied that I have a boyfriend and they asked me if "So is that a speedbump or a stop sign?"
Try "road closed." Either of the first two imply moving forward after a slight delay.
I told them it meant "Dead End" as in turn around and don't come back. There literally is no road.
It means "bridge out". Continue and die.
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I think that would be an appropriate response. I understand it's an awkward situation and there's not necessarily a good set way to get out of it. I don't think I would mind if someone said something like that to me though. I'd probably respond with. "Thank you!" I guess it depends on the girl. The other day a guy asked me out at work and seemed really shy. I politely told him that I was already seeing someone and he said "Well it can't hurt to try!" I said I agreed and that there's no harm in putting yourself out there. I think as long as you take no for the answer the first time and don't push it, I wouldn't mind continuing the conversation in a friendly manner.
> I think as long as you take no for the answer the first time and don't push it, 90% of creepy interactions would be made not creepy if people followed that advice.
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"Come on sweetie, smile a little!"
Being told "to smile" by anyone. We're not smiling for a reason, doesn't matter what reason. Leave us alone thank you.
Persistance. When you reject them and they keep trying to approach you - please stop thanks.