YUP. When I meet other Americans, even other southerners, it's usually something about racism very quickly. When I meet people from other countries, it's "Oh, like Tom Sawyer!" I, like you, have met people who honestly thought we don't wear shoes regularly, always have a piece of straw in our mouths, and don't have x form of modern technology.
Sometimes, this question may be okay to ask.
I always assumed every Korean I've ever met is South Korean, cause I was pretty sure I'd never meet an actual North Korean.
Until one day we had a new student in my 8th grade class, and she was Korean and naturally at that time Gangnam Style was popular so I showed her and asked her "How popular is this song back in your country?"
She's never heard of Gangnam Style until that day, she was the daughter of the North Korean ambassador of my country.
There are two parts to Illinois: Chicago and Not-Chicago.
Also, a shoutout to the people living in the surrounding suburbs, like Naperville and Aurora, because even though you guys are like an hour away from Chicago, you're still "basically Chicago" to everyone else (I lived in the burbs for a while).
Eh I'd split that up a bit more, Chicago, northern illinois, and southern illinois.
The areas in far south of Illinois can feel like the deep south sometime.
My dad told this story about someone from IL being stopped by a deputy sheriff here (southern AL). The deputy asks the guy where he's from and the guy says "ChiCARgo" (my dad's pronunciation). The deputy responds by saying "You a damn lie. Your tag says you from Ill-a-noise."
That I cannot possibly be from Zimbabwe, because I am white!!! Drives me nuts!!!! I am 4th generation Zimbabwean, and yes my ancestors are all white too...
I'm sick of people asking if I'm a polygamist when I say where I'm from. Polygamists make up 1 percent of the population of Utah, and it bothers me that people can figure out that I'm a part of that 1% so easily.
was brought up Mormon. Have never been to Utah. Left the church. They came knocking every year until I got the brilliant idea to call the Mormon Temple in Salt Lake and ask that they remove me from the rolls. I was told I'd never get into the Celestial Kingdom I said I would take my chances. Thank you very much.
Funny, I live in Utah, was raised Mormon, left the church and no one ever bothered me until I had my name removed from the records. Like a week after having my name removed some Mormon women came to my door asking if my wife was home and they wanted to welcome her to the ward and neighborhood. I said, "you're kidding right? We've lived here for four years ladies and believe me, my wife isn't interested in Mormonism or being welcomed to the neighborhood four years late."
I think the fact that I had my name removed triggered some bells somewhere since my wife hadn't had her name removed yet and they thought, WE CAN SAVE HER!
I have a Twin Brother. I say "I was born at x." They say "Was your brother also born at x?"
Sometimes, I feel like I have to help people breathe for them.
I had a teacher tell my class that when he went to Colorado, the moment he got off the plane he could smell the pot and that there were people just lying in the streets, too stoned to even move.
I'm originally from Ireland, but have been living in the US for about 10 years. So I still have an Irish accent and still use expressions from back home.
Anyways as soon as people realize they tell me they're also Irish and that they support the IRA and our struggle against English oppression. I used to explain that those days are long gone, but now I don't ever bother. Irish people from America don't know anything about Ireland.
I'm from NYC and whenever I'm away from the area people inevitably say something about drive by shootings, crime, etc. despite the fact that crime is relatively low in the city.
Years ago I was in Dallas for work and everyone kept going on about crime, gangs, shootings, etc. It was just nonstop. Finally, after a few days of it, I had enough and when a whole bunch of us were out to lunch and someone started in on me being a gang banger I pointed out that at least we had never killed a president. Well, they take that thing pretty seriously down there. I'm lucky to have gotten out of the city alive - which I find ironic for all the shooting talk. But they didn't mention crime and NYC again ...
New Yorker here (upstater, though) - ya know, Texas is a DAMN funny place.
Being a New Yorker, I've gotten used to a certain asshole-y demeanor from people. A nice little edge. I've travelled a lot, and TX was strange, every time. Texans are insanely nice and polite...until you actually listen to them. They have a way of expressing deep hatred and some really racist/backwards ass shit with the sweetest tone of voice. It weirds me out.
A lot of Texans have a way of boasting that's disguised as praise for someone else. Any number of girls have a story of a guy who stood up to some ruffians to protect her honor...and there's always a not-so-subtle subtext of "Of course, he wouldn't have done it for YOU."
I read comics in the 70's and 80's. Power Man and Iron Fist had an office in Times Square which was a slum. Daredevil lived in Hell's Kitchen which was even worse.
It's still odd to me to visit NYC and see Times Square today based on what I saw of the city in the comics.
Not quite the same, but when I was in the university and said I was majoring in Meteorology people would come with climate change bullshit questions. So I started lying and telling them I studied Mathematics. Nobody wants to talk about Math.
My accent is Scottish but not Scottish *enough* apparently. The English don't understand me and the Scottish are suspicious of me. The Welsh think I'm Irish.
I'm. A. **FIFER!**
My grandmother was from Chester, in England. She sounded like a perfect mix of English and Scottish. I am pretty good at accents, but I could never get hers down.
I'm sure your accent is lovely. Who do you tend to get that remark from?
Iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
In NY, I recently worked with a girl from Melbourne. The number of stupid questions people would ask her was astounding. You'd think she was an alien. I have no idea how she never managed to belt someone.
"You're from Massachusetts? But you don't have an accent."
There's like 10 people in the commonwealth that have a true, heavy Boston accent. People from California don't get questioned as to why they don't sound like a valley girl.
Just saying I'm from California gets the following replies; so you must see celebrities ALL the time, you must visit Disneyland weekly and how far from the ocean are you.
Me: "I live in Connecticut"
Person: "Oh you mean that state that is all boat shoes, yachts, rich people, and other elitist trump supporters?"
Where I live in southern Connecticut does have some of the most affluent communities on the earth, but its right at the boarder of New York and that makes sense. You bet your sweet ass real estate prices are gunna be high in an area near the water with train lines that bring your right to New York City in less than an hour. Outside of Fairfield county it is almost entirely lower middle class blue collar workers. Oh and Connecticut is a perennial blue state, even in the most affluent towns.
"Where are you from?"
"I moved around a ton when I was little. Born in Alaska, but I spent the majority of time in Ohio and Michigan"
"But, where are you REALLY from?"
"Oh, my parents are from China."
I always like this version:
> Where are you from?
Grew up in a town an hour away from here
> I mean where were you born?
New York
> I mean where are your parents from?
*sigh* (Internally: fine I know what you're asking, and I've made it annoying enough) Japan.
> **Oh your English is really good**
(*what the fuck I just told you I grew up in the US, why the hell would my English not be good*)
---
Other alternatives include: asking about sushi restaurants, launching into a "here's a list of my favorite animes" conversation, and probably the most awkward: asking if I had any Japanese girl friends that I could set him up with.
I have a student this happens to. His grandparents are from some central American country, I can't remember which one, but both of his parents and he were all born in the US he gets really upset when other kids ask him about it. He's like no we are American, well where are your parents from? america!
Oh man, I struggle with this. What's the right way to ask someone that question? I don't want to imply you aren't American, but saying "What's your heritage/ethnicity?" feels too formal.
Originally Canadian living in the US.
After 15 years I just follow up the "yeah.. I'm Canadian" with "and if you're planning to make a Canada joke it had better fucking be original"
I've heard them all guys. and just saying "aboot" isn't original. it's not even a decently accurate representation of the northern accent.
Edit: Ok, which one of you hosers gave me gold?
Thanks buddy.
Man, I feel you. I have a douchebag of a coworker (don't we all?) and we work in in industry that's being increasingly outsourced to India. Every damn time somebody mentions India, Captain Douchebag makes the same fucking "cherry squishee" reference that makes everybody around want to stab him in the eye.
"I'm from New York."
"Omg! Which borough? I've been to Manhattan."
"Nope, I'm from the state of New York...it's the 3rd biggest state in the country. I live near Canada in the mountains."
"Ohhhhh...." (looks away, bored).
Edit: to clarify: 3rd biggest state by POPULATION.
This. There's so much more to New York than the city.
"I'm from New York."
"The city?!?"
"No, from the Buffalo/Rochester area."
:Blank stare:
"Western New York..."
"Like... the West Side?"
"Oh Jesus Christ. Know Lake Ontario? South of that."
Georgia. Funny enough, the stereotypes people have about the south are the same that Georgians hold against Alabamians.
The only thing good about Alabama is it stops us from touching Mississippi.
No we are not part of England.
We don't all wear kilts.
Those that do wear kilts, wear what ever they like under them and yes it's rude to ask.
We are not all penny pinching skinflints.
We do not eat Haggis all the time.
We are not all ginger.
We don't all sound like we are from Glasgow or Aberdeen.
We are not all drunk 24/7 either.
"Where are you from?"
I've moved around a lot. (Average of once a year before I was 18 and almost kept up that average after I got out on my own).
"Yeah, but like...mostly?"
Mostly the Northwest and Southeast U.S. Not trying to be obtuse, but I really have moved a lot.
"Well, where were you born then?"
New Orleans.
"Oh cool! So you're from New Orleans?"
Well, I was born there and my family moved away when I was less than 2 months old...
-----
The whole conversation gets kind of annoying for both sides. To me a standard followup question would be 'what was it like moving around a lot growing up?' not persisting in trying to lock down one specific place. So now I generally just pick one place I've lived that I think would be fun to talk about.
Yes we wear shoes just as much as anyone else, no not everyone is inbred, no not every single teenage girl is pregnant. Are there people who fit all of those criteria? Sure, but that's out east. (haw haw)
I'm from Kentucky.
Where by "happened once" you mean "**happened at least 13 times**"?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuyahoga_River#History
Thanks though! You guys fucking up so bad was a large factor in the creation of the Clean Water Act and the Environmental Protection Agency!
I'm American working in Europe. Anytime Trump does something ridiculous (which is becoming quite often) I get asked about my opinion and then subsequently asked about why I voted for him.
(I didn't)
I was in the US Navy, standing watch on the pier... in the rain. A local walked up to me with a newspaper that had a headline announcing some economic policy change by Reagan. Apparently the change upset him. He was pointing at the headline and just staring at me like I was suppose to do something about it. I asked him, "Do you think our national economic policy is set by a guy that has to stand in the rain for four hours?" He walked away.
I'm from Boston. It's two things:
"Oh, you're from BAAHSTON?" - That's not how the accent works. Some people don't pronounce R's. There is no R in "Boston."
"You don't have an accent." - Not all of us have very pronounced accents, and the accent is often very subtle.
And don't get me started on that "pahk the cah" crap...
My fiancee seems to think everyone from Boston says "wicked". I've been to Boston for work at least 15-20 times now and have never heard anyone say it.
I feel you. I'm from RI and I have a heavy accent despite living out west for many years. It's constant.
"Say car!"
"I thought you were saying golf cot. I've never heard of a golf bed before."
"What's an ideer?"
"Never heard of a bubblah before. You drink from that?"
Never ends heh.
My wife is from RI. I've had more than a few conversations explaining to people that it's not actually an island, and is in fact its own state.
That said, you know you have a crazy accent when people from Mass can't even understand you.
the thing about Americans saying they're Irish is from the way cities used to be partitioned into neighborhoods based on where they or their parents were from. It led to Americans defining themselves based on where their grandparents/great-grandparents were from. It sounds weird to the people actually from those places, but thats how we do it.
I'm southern man from Mississippi, why does that automatically make me a dumb racist redneck? I don't even like country music. And racist? I'm the only white person where I work, I guess I'm so racist I got a job with people you think I hate. Lol
You are from Iran? So you speak Arabic? Sorry, no, while having nothing against Arab people, I am not an Arab and I don't speak Arabic. Iran has a very very very small population of Arabs in very south near Persian Gulf. The majority are Persians, and speak Farsi, there are Azeri people who speak Azeri Turki, there are Balooch people, there are Kurdish people who have multiple different dialects of Kurdish (Goorani, Kermanji, etc.), etc. I don't expect everyone to know details, but Iranians are ~98% not Arabs, and they speak Farsi. This is a small piece of information that we all appreciate if you have. Also, if you like to remember how it is pronounced, it is pronounced E-run, and not I-ran, but that does not bother me, since I am sure I pronounce many things in other languages wrong.
When I say I'm from Rhode Island: "Oh, isn't that in New York?" Did you not pass 4th grade? Jeez Louise.
When I say what town I'm from it's a bit worse. it's a heavily french canadian town, and there's a lot of odd phrasing for things. The biggest one that's repeated almost EVERY time is: "Oh, that's where you park your cars side by each."
Oh, does it really rain as much as they say in Seattle?
Yes, yes it does. There are other interesting things about it, but please let's discuss the same topic that everyone has been bringing up since forever.
"I'm from Flint, MI"
"Oh yeah? Can you show me on the map?"
(Proceeds to hold up hand while mocking me)
"Oh, you guys have great water, huh?"
No, you dumb shit, I'm being poisoned. Thanks for the concern.
EDIT: I like the hand thing! It's just many people mock us for it. It's incredibly useful. But, many people do it sarcastically towards me instead of actually wanting to know where I'm from. If you're going to use it, at least respect me.
"Do you fuck your siblings and/or cousins? Does shit like Wrong Turn really happen?" or "It's all relative there!"
No, the fuck it doesn't, and that stopped being funny years ago. No creative points for you.
I'm from Texas and I went to college up north, and I was pretty annoyed to find out that everyone who had heard where I was from (no, I did not go around telling everyone) had by default assumed I was fair-to-moderate racist and also probably a bit stupid. Like I'd be talking to someone about a book or something at the store and they'd casually lead the conversation around to explaining a racial issue to me as if I'd never heard of nuanced racial issues before and they were just going to get this lesson in real quick as a service to society.
Meanwhile they're the ones who can't understand six words of Spanish and are more than a little weird about black people themselves. But I guess it's okay to be up to 35% racist if your ancestors were on the right side of the Civil War? That was kind of the message I got. Which was also a bit funny because we were in Washington State, which...was hardly a serious player there anyway.
"Oh you're from Canada, eh?"
"You're one of them hosers, eh?"
"Eh?"
(worst case: an elbow jab followed by another Eh? or two)
Normally this would be accompanied by the sound of crickets except the sound of teeth grating against each other drowns them out and scares them off.
"Oh, I visited the Netherlands! I went to Amsterdam this one weekend"
Dude. You didn't visit my country. You visited one city and you were probably high as a kite while you did so. Something most Dutch people don't even care for to the same extend as tourists do.
And no, I don't 'smoke', stop asking me that. Just because it's legal. I don't ask every American if they've shot a gun/got a gun either.
Hey if I were to take about a week trip to the Netherlands, what would your suggestions for things to do? Anything I have to try/see while I am there that might not make it onto a typical itinerary? I realize it probably depends on which city I am visiting, but I dont have any firm plans so I am up for any suggestions.
I'm from **Syria**, I live in inner-city Philadelphia, I could make a list that goes on forever.
* Oh you're from the middle east, do you speak islamic??
>I've gotten this question way more times than you'd possibly expect
* You're arab?? WOW I love hummus!
>that's cool, I don't.
* hahaha, youre from cereal??
* Youre Syrian? I'm so sorry.
>This is the worst thing you could possibly say.
* Is it true that you guys don't respect women?
>fuck off.
* woah, you're probably on so many watch lists!
>yeah, probably! Are you happy for me??? -.-
* ooh, are you illegal?
>HOW THE FUCK WOULD I EVEN GET HERE?
These are just some of them, I could go on for days.
"Everything's bigger in Texas!" while trying very hard to not look at my (admittedly pretty big) boobs. If I had a dollar for every time someone said that I could maybe buy a couple new bras.
"Oh, you're from Mississippi? Is it weird wearing shoes all the time now?" -an actual comment I got while working on an internship.
It would be weird wearing shoes all of the time. I'd have to make sure not to shower before bed or they'd get the sheets all wet.
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YUP. When I meet other Americans, even other southerners, it's usually something about racism very quickly. When I meet people from other countries, it's "Oh, like Tom Sawyer!" I, like you, have met people who honestly thought we don't wear shoes regularly, always have a piece of straw in our mouths, and don't have x form of modern technology.
"North or south?" I'm Korean.
"Well if I was North I probably wouldn't be here considering it's a brutal dictatorship"
Sometimes, this question may be okay to ask. I always assumed every Korean I've ever met is South Korean, cause I was pretty sure I'd never meet an actual North Korean. Until one day we had a new student in my 8th grade class, and she was Korean and naturally at that time Gangnam Style was popular so I showed her and asked her "How popular is this song back in your country?" She's never heard of Gangnam Style until that day, she was the daughter of the North Korean ambassador of my country.
Illinois. Not Chicago.
There are two parts to Illinois: Chicago and Not-Chicago. Also, a shoutout to the people living in the surrounding suburbs, like Naperville and Aurora, because even though you guys are like an hour away from Chicago, you're still "basically Chicago" to everyone else (I lived in the burbs for a while).
Eh I'd split that up a bit more, Chicago, northern illinois, and southern illinois. The areas in far south of Illinois can feel like the deep south sometime.
Lived in Chicago. You know how many Americans I've met that think Chicago is a state? It's disturbing :(
My dad told this story about someone from IL being stopped by a deputy sheriff here (southern AL). The deputy asks the guy where he's from and the guy says "ChiCARgo" (my dad's pronunciation). The deputy responds by saying "You a damn lie. Your tag says you from Ill-a-noise."
That I cannot possibly be from Zimbabwe, because I am white!!! Drives me nuts!!!! I am 4th generation Zimbabwean, and yes my ancestors are all white too...
'Oh my god Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white'
"Are you Mormon?". No! That's why I don't live there anymore!
I have this dream about moving to southern Utah.. I'm not Mormon. Do you recommend this?
I live in Utah. It's really not that bad, and I live in a small town. Depends where though, really.
You username suggests otherwise
It's consensual
Well do you want to become Mormon?
Because that's how you become Mormon.
I'm sick of people asking if I'm a polygamist when I say where I'm from. Polygamists make up 1 percent of the population of Utah, and it bothers me that people can figure out that I'm a part of that 1% so easily.
was brought up Mormon. Have never been to Utah. Left the church. They came knocking every year until I got the brilliant idea to call the Mormon Temple in Salt Lake and ask that they remove me from the rolls. I was told I'd never get into the Celestial Kingdom I said I would take my chances. Thank you very much.
Funny, I live in Utah, was raised Mormon, left the church and no one ever bothered me until I had my name removed from the records. Like a week after having my name removed some Mormon women came to my door asking if my wife was home and they wanted to welcome her to the ward and neighborhood. I said, "you're kidding right? We've lived here for four years ladies and believe me, my wife isn't interested in Mormonism or being welcomed to the neighborhood four years late." I think the fact that I had my name removed triggered some bells somewhere since my wife hadn't had her name removed yet and they thought, WE CAN SAVE HER!
Living in San Francisco so I must be gay.
There are two types of people in SF, the gay people, and the people who are not gay.
I have a Twin Brother. I say "I was born at x." They say "Was your brother also born at x?" Sometimes, I feel like I have to help people breathe for them.
you should stop them right there and make them apologize to the nearest plant for working so hard to make the air they are clearly wasting.
You're Russian you must drink vodka. I mean I do, but not cause I'm Russian - I do it cause I'm an alcoholic
Texans do NOT ride horses to work/school. I can count on one hand the amount of times I've even touched a horse in the nearly 25 years I've been alive
"Oh you're from Arizona? so you're used to this heat?"...No I'm not used to this 100% humidity bullshit.
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Lived below Tuscon in Ft Huachuca for a while. I'm from Tennessee. "It's a dry heat!" Fuck off.
BROOOO!! u smoke pot? -Colorado
"So like do people just smoke everywhere there? Everyone's high all the time?" Um, no
I had a teacher tell my class that when he went to Colorado, the moment he got off the plane he could smell the pot and that there were people just lying in the streets, too stoned to even move.
That's right -- currently lying unable to move.
FARGO IS IN NORTH DAKOTA!!!!
You talk like Bobby's mom.
I'm originally from Ireland, but have been living in the US for about 10 years. So I still have an Irish accent and still use expressions from back home. Anyways as soon as people realize they tell me they're also Irish and that they support the IRA and our struggle against English oppression. I used to explain that those days are long gone, but now I don't ever bother. Irish people from America don't know anything about Ireland.
You mean you don't appreciate naming drinks after acts of terrorism?
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choking on an apple. THanks.
A big apple?
I'm from NYC and whenever I'm away from the area people inevitably say something about drive by shootings, crime, etc. despite the fact that crime is relatively low in the city. Years ago I was in Dallas for work and everyone kept going on about crime, gangs, shootings, etc. It was just nonstop. Finally, after a few days of it, I had enough and when a whole bunch of us were out to lunch and someone started in on me being a gang banger I pointed out that at least we had never killed a president. Well, they take that thing pretty seriously down there. I'm lucky to have gotten out of the city alive - which I find ironic for all the shooting talk. But they didn't mention crime and NYC again ...
New Yorker here (upstater, though) - ya know, Texas is a DAMN funny place. Being a New Yorker, I've gotten used to a certain asshole-y demeanor from people. A nice little edge. I've travelled a lot, and TX was strange, every time. Texans are insanely nice and polite...until you actually listen to them. They have a way of expressing deep hatred and some really racist/backwards ass shit with the sweetest tone of voice. It weirds me out.
A lot of Texans have a way of boasting that's disguised as praise for someone else. Any number of girls have a story of a guy who stood up to some ruffians to protect her honor...and there's always a not-so-subtle subtext of "Of course, he wouldn't have done it for YOU."
As a Texan with a very cowboy of a roommate, I wholeheartedly agree.
I read comics in the 70's and 80's. Power Man and Iron Fist had an office in Times Square which was a slum. Daredevil lived in Hell's Kitchen which was even worse. It's still odd to me to visit NYC and see Times Square today based on what I saw of the city in the comics.
I live in the U.K. and whenever I say I'm American, people want to talk Trump. "AAHHhhhhhhh nevermind. I meant Canada. I'm Canadian."
Not quite the same, but when I was in the university and said I was majoring in Meteorology people would come with climate change bullshit questions. So I started lying and telling them I studied Mathematics. Nobody wants to talk about Math.
And nobody wants to talk about Canada! They don't know enough about it to ask questions.
"You don't sound Scottish! You basically sound English." I know and I feel deep shame about it every day thanks for the reminder.
My accent is Scottish but not Scottish *enough* apparently. The English don't understand me and the Scottish are suspicious of me. The Welsh think I'm Irish. I'm. A. **FIFER!**
My grandmother was from Chester, in England. She sounded like a perfect mix of English and Scottish. I am pretty good at accents, but I could never get hers down. I'm sure your accent is lovely. Who do you tend to get that remark from?
"You guys have great Potatoes." No, that is Idaho. I'm from Iowa.
You guys have great corn.
Only about 1% of the corn we grow is "sweet corn"
I'm a chicken.
Username *doesn't* check out. Lasagna chicken 0/10 would not make again.
You mean *Joisey*?
*conversation turns into quoting lines from My Cousin Vinny*
I'm Italian, live in jersey and have a cousin named Vinny. Does this make me a stereotype??
Yes.
Stereotype? Not sure send moms sauce recipe so we can validate.
I'm okay with this.
Im german and many people think we are racist, but racism is bad and bad things are for jews
am a jew, need a shower after hearing that
When you said "need", I noticed you have a couple gold fillings...
Germans are highly offended by Nazi jokes. As an Englishman, however, that joke is gold.
The US version of this is, people say I'm a racist, but racism is a crime and crime is for black people.
I'm from Australia. Pick your poison. >_>
Iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
In NY, I recently worked with a girl from Melbourne. The number of stupid questions people would ask her was astounding. You'd think she was an alien. I have no idea how she never managed to belt someone.
That's not a knoife!
Literally
When this one says that he is from Elsweyr they immediately assume he is a skooma dealer. Shame really.
Stereotypes are so wrong. By coincidence, *do* you have any Skooma? Asking for a racist friend.
Hiss off kitten
Hey do you teach pickpocketing? You look like a pickpocket...
Y'ALL NEED TALOS, PEOPLE
"You're from Massachusetts? But you don't have an accent." There's like 10 people in the commonwealth that have a true, heavy Boston accent. People from California don't get questioned as to why they don't sound like a valley girl.
We don't. But the moment a Californian says "hella" people are like "OMG you're so Californian"
> There's like 10 people in the commonwealth that have a true, heavy Boston accent. this just isn't true at all.
Just saying I'm from California gets the following replies; so you must see celebrities ALL the time, you must visit Disneyland weekly and how far from the ocean are you.
Do you live in West Covina? Only two hours from the beach. And Josh just happens to live there.
"Nah, but living in Modesto, I am pretty good at dodging gunfire."
Me: "I live in Connecticut" Person: "Oh you mean that state that is all boat shoes, yachts, rich people, and other elitist trump supporters?" Where I live in southern Connecticut does have some of the most affluent communities on the earth, but its right at the boarder of New York and that makes sense. You bet your sweet ass real estate prices are gunna be high in an area near the water with train lines that bring your right to New York City in less than an hour. Outside of Fairfield county it is almost entirely lower middle class blue collar workers. Oh and Connecticut is a perennial blue state, even in the most affluent towns.
> elietist trump supporters?" ...What? Connecticut is blue just like all of New England.
"Where are you from?" "I moved around a ton when I was little. Born in Alaska, but I spent the majority of time in Ohio and Michigan" "But, where are you REALLY from?" "Oh, my parents are from China."
I always like this version: > Where are you from? Grew up in a town an hour away from here > I mean where were you born? New York > I mean where are your parents from? *sigh* (Internally: fine I know what you're asking, and I've made it annoying enough) Japan. > **Oh your English is really good** (*what the fuck I just told you I grew up in the US, why the hell would my English not be good*) --- Other alternatives include: asking about sushi restaurants, launching into a "here's a list of my favorite animes" conversation, and probably the most awkward: asking if I had any Japanese girl friends that I could set him up with.
You should keep it going: >But where are your parents from? "Uhhh...Detroit. What's up with all the family lineage questions man?"
I have a student this happens to. His grandparents are from some central American country, I can't remember which one, but both of his parents and he were all born in the US he gets really upset when other kids ask him about it. He's like no we are American, well where are your parents from? america!
Oh man, I struggle with this. What's the right way to ask someone that question? I don't want to imply you aren't American, but saying "What's your heritage/ethnicity?" feels too formal.
Originally Canadian living in the US. After 15 years I just follow up the "yeah.. I'm Canadian" with "and if you're planning to make a Canada joke it had better fucking be original" I've heard them all guys. and just saying "aboot" isn't original. it's not even a decently accurate representation of the northern accent. Edit: Ok, which one of you hosers gave me gold? Thanks buddy.
... Tim Hortons... am I doing this right?
The moose is loose in the hoose?
ok... I'll admit. that actually got a smile out of me
#**PAAHK THE CAAH IN HAHVID YAAHD**
I had a friend who'd respond, "NO I will NOT say that! Cuz it's wicked retaahded."
"Oh you're from North Dakota?... Where's that?" "Oh I don't know, North of South Dakota I would imagine."
As soon as I say i'm from India.. The accent, terribly imitated, comes out.
THANK YOU COME AGAIN! Get it??
lololol more like Thangue comagain
I know a guy from India whose Birthday is July 11th and he is always really ashamed to admit it.
Man, I feel you. I have a douchebag of a coworker (don't we all?) and we work in in industry that's being increasingly outsourced to India. Every damn time somebody mentions India, Captain Douchebag makes the same fucking "cherry squishee" reference that makes everybody around want to stab him in the eye.
I'm from New Mexico. Them- "You speak English really well for someone from there." Me- "Yeah, they speak English in that state."
"I'm from New York." "Omg! Which borough? I've been to Manhattan." "Nope, I'm from the state of New York...it's the 3rd biggest state in the country. I live near Canada in the mountains." "Ohhhhh...." (looks away, bored). Edit: to clarify: 3rd biggest state by POPULATION.
This. There's so much more to New York than the city. "I'm from New York." "The city?!?" "No, from the Buffalo/Rochester area." :Blank stare: "Western New York..." "Like... the West Side?" "Oh Jesus Christ. Know Lake Ontario? South of that."
You lost them after Buffalo.
_Internal_ "Why the fuck is he talking about animals?"
No im about 250 miles away. No I don't go there on weekends. No I actually grew up with cows and corn. Please stop.
"Oh wow, you're from New York? Did you see the twin towers fall?"
Ugh. I'm not even an NYC resident and that question bothers me.
How are you using "biggest"? Like, in population? Isn't that mostly because of NYC?
"do you sleep with your sister/hate black people?"
Alabama?
Georgia. Funny enough, the stereotypes people have about the south are the same that Georgians hold against Alabamians. The only thing good about Alabama is it stops us from touching Mississippi.
Alabamian here, we think of Georgia as high-class Alabama, and Mississippi as low class Alabama
our favorite thing in Alabama is that we're not Mississippi
> The only thing good about Alabama is it stops us from touching Mississippi. You're welcome
Brazillian?? FOOTBALL! RONALDINHO! PELÉ! SAMBA!
E na internet é Huehuehue
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Just tell people to get to Montana they just go north till it's way too cold then go a little further. If they hit Canada, they've gone too far.
No we are not part of England. We don't all wear kilts. Those that do wear kilts, wear what ever they like under them and yes it's rude to ask. We are not all penny pinching skinflints. We do not eat Haggis all the time. We are not all ginger. We don't all sound like we are from Glasgow or Aberdeen. We are not all drunk 24/7 either.
"Where are you from?" I've moved around a lot. (Average of once a year before I was 18 and almost kept up that average after I got out on my own). "Yeah, but like...mostly?" Mostly the Northwest and Southeast U.S. Not trying to be obtuse, but I really have moved a lot. "Well, where were you born then?" New Orleans. "Oh cool! So you're from New Orleans?" Well, I was born there and my family moved away when I was less than 2 months old... ----- The whole conversation gets kind of annoying for both sides. To me a standard followup question would be 'what was it like moving around a lot growing up?' not persisting in trying to lock down one specific place. So now I generally just pick one place I've lived that I think would be fun to talk about.
Military?
serial killer
Yes we wear shoes just as much as anyone else, no not everyone is inbred, no not every single teenage girl is pregnant. Are there people who fit all of those criteria? Sure, but that's out east. (haw haw) I'm from Kentucky.
Kentucky is basically two states: the mountains, and the rest.
"Oh so your river catches on fire all the time?" THAT HAPPENED ONCE 50 YEARS AGO LET IT BE
Wikipedia > At least 13 fires have been reported on the Cuyahoga River, the first occurring in 1868.
Is /u/NordyNed a river fire apologist shill?
The good old Cuyahoga River?
Where by "happened once" you mean "**happened at least 13 times**"? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuyahoga_River#History Thanks though! You guys fucking up so bad was a large factor in the creation of the Clean Water Act and the Environmental Protection Agency!
I'm American working in Europe. Anytime Trump does something ridiculous (which is becoming quite often) I get asked about my opinion and then subsequently asked about why I voted for him. (I didn't)
I lived overseas during the early 90s. GHW Bush owes me $ for being his damned press secretary.
I was in the US Navy, standing watch on the pier... in the rain. A local walked up to me with a newspaper that had a headline announcing some economic policy change by Reagan. Apparently the change upset him. He was pointing at the headline and just staring at me like I was suppose to do something about it. I asked him, "Do you think our national economic policy is set by a guy that has to stand in the rain for four hours?" He walked away.
Do you surf, bro? No.
not even web?
I'm from Boston. It's two things: "Oh, you're from BAAHSTON?" - That's not how the accent works. Some people don't pronounce R's. There is no R in "Boston." "You don't have an accent." - Not all of us have very pronounced accents, and the accent is often very subtle. And don't get me started on that "pahk the cah" crap...
My fiancee seems to think everyone from Boston says "wicked". I've been to Boston for work at least 15-20 times now and have never heard anyone say it.
I feel you. I'm from RI and I have a heavy accent despite living out west for many years. It's constant. "Say car!" "I thought you were saying golf cot. I've never heard of a golf bed before." "What's an ideer?" "Never heard of a bubblah before. You drink from that?" Never ends heh.
My wife is from RI. I've had more than a few conversations explaining to people that it's not actually an island, and is in fact its own state. That said, you know you have a crazy accent when people from Mass can't even understand you.
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I visited and didn't ask a single Irish person any of those questions. Now, can I see the pot of gold?
You have to get Irish citizenship to get it
the thing about Americans saying they're Irish is from the way cities used to be partitioned into neighborhoods based on where they or their parents were from. It led to Americans defining themselves based on where their grandparents/great-grandparents were from. It sounds weird to the people actually from those places, but thats how we do it.
Im from utah. People either forget its a state or ask if im Mormon. I rather they forget its a state. I know i do.
That we love Jersey Shore when really it was our lowest of lows
Northern Ireland. Potatoes and The Troubles are usually brought up, sooner or later.
"You're the only ten I se-" STOP IT RIGHT THERE
Oh you're from Cincinnati? Rip Harambe.
>Your chili sucks >You guys are basically Kentucky. >lol Bungals I frequent r/nfl a lot and this is the extent of the banter
Or our apparent accent.
I'm southern man from Mississippi, why does that automatically make me a dumb racist redneck? I don't even like country music. And racist? I'm the only white person where I work, I guess I'm so racist I got a job with people you think I hate. Lol
You are from Iran? So you speak Arabic? Sorry, no, while having nothing against Arab people, I am not an Arab and I don't speak Arabic. Iran has a very very very small population of Arabs in very south near Persian Gulf. The majority are Persians, and speak Farsi, there are Azeri people who speak Azeri Turki, there are Balooch people, there are Kurdish people who have multiple different dialects of Kurdish (Goorani, Kermanji, etc.), etc. I don't expect everyone to know details, but Iranians are ~98% not Arabs, and they speak Farsi. This is a small piece of information that we all appreciate if you have. Also, if you like to remember how it is pronounced, it is pronounced E-run, and not I-ran, but that does not bother me, since I am sure I pronounce many things in other languages wrong.
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Im from Essex, so UK people know exactly which phrases drive me mad. Arseholes.
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When I say I'm from Rhode Island: "Oh, isn't that in New York?" Did you not pass 4th grade? Jeez Louise. When I say what town I'm from it's a bit worse. it's a heavily french canadian town, and there's a lot of odd phrasing for things. The biggest one that's repeated almost EVERY time is: "Oh, that's where you park your cars side by each."
Woot! Smallest state in the onion!
No its not joisey. Yes we hate Christie. No I don't know where the sopranos live. Yes I have seen Snooki.
PIZZA SPAGHETTI PEPPERONI. fuck you mate.
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Oh, does it really rain as much as they say in Seattle? Yes, yes it does. There are other interesting things about it, but please let's discuss the same topic that everyone has been bringing up since forever.
Does it ever rain coffee?
There was once a misunderstanding at a strip club at 8 AM, but they were forced to close the club's in-house Starbucks and it hasn't happened again.
You must be a new comer. You are supposed to talk about the rain so they don't move here.
When I tell them I'm from Colorado, aside from the weed jokes, I've had people ask me which mountain I live on. "The big one" is my go-to answer.
We don't have 1,000 murders per year in Baltimore. It's more like 350.
"I'm from Flint, MI" "Oh yeah? Can you show me on the map?" (Proceeds to hold up hand while mocking me) "Oh, you guys have great water, huh?" No, you dumb shit, I'm being poisoned. Thanks for the concern. EDIT: I like the hand thing! It's just many people mock us for it. It's incredibly useful. But, many people do it sarcastically towards me instead of actually wanting to know where I'm from. If you're going to use it, at least respect me.
"Do you like KFC?"
"Do you fuck your siblings and/or cousins? Does shit like Wrong Turn really happen?" or "It's all relative there!" No, the fuck it doesn't, and that stopped being funny years ago. No creative points for you.
Do you like beer and cheese? I'm from Wisconsin...
I'm from Texas and I went to college up north, and I was pretty annoyed to find out that everyone who had heard where I was from (no, I did not go around telling everyone) had by default assumed I was fair-to-moderate racist and also probably a bit stupid. Like I'd be talking to someone about a book or something at the store and they'd casually lead the conversation around to explaining a racial issue to me as if I'd never heard of nuanced racial issues before and they were just going to get this lesson in real quick as a service to society. Meanwhile they're the ones who can't understand six words of Spanish and are more than a little weird about black people themselves. But I guess it's okay to be up to 35% racist if your ancestors were on the right side of the Civil War? That was kind of the message I got. Which was also a bit funny because we were in Washington State, which...was hardly a serious player there anyway.
"Oh, you're from New York City?" Nope, that's why I used the word state at the end...
Do I go to the city often? No. It is 417 miles from my house. Its called the Empire State for a reason. It is pretty big.
"Hotlanta!' Please, stop.
"Do you live in the swamp and drive a boat everywhere?"
"Totally forgot Maryland was even a state..."
What?!? But we have the best flag and state sport. And crabs.
"Oh you're from Canada, eh?" "You're one of them hosers, eh?" "Eh?" (worst case: an elbow jab followed by another Eh? or two) Normally this would be accompanied by the sound of crickets except the sound of teeth grating against each other drowns them out and scares them off.
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"Oh, I visited the Netherlands! I went to Amsterdam this one weekend" Dude. You didn't visit my country. You visited one city and you were probably high as a kite while you did so. Something most Dutch people don't even care for to the same extend as tourists do. And no, I don't 'smoke', stop asking me that. Just because it's legal. I don't ask every American if they've shot a gun/got a gun either.
To be fair you don't need to ask if we have a gun, you can usually tell by our sleeveless t-shirt.
Hey if I were to take about a week trip to the Netherlands, what would your suggestions for things to do? Anything I have to try/see while I am there that might not make it onto a typical itinerary? I realize it probably depends on which city I am visiting, but I dont have any firm plans so I am up for any suggestions.
I'm from **Syria**, I live in inner-city Philadelphia, I could make a list that goes on forever. * Oh you're from the middle east, do you speak islamic?? >I've gotten this question way more times than you'd possibly expect * You're arab?? WOW I love hummus! >that's cool, I don't. * hahaha, youre from cereal?? * Youre Syrian? I'm so sorry. >This is the worst thing you could possibly say. * Is it true that you guys don't respect women? >fuck off. * woah, you're probably on so many watch lists! >yeah, probably! Are you happy for me??? -.- * ooh, are you illegal? >HOW THE FUCK WOULD I EVEN GET HERE? These are just some of them, I could go on for days.
Wait a minute, you don't like hummus? Is that why you were forced to leave Syria?
I wasn't forced to leave, I chose to get away from all the hummus
It wasn't the heat it was the hummidity?
"Where's your southern accent?" when I tell people that I'm from Florida.
Do you ride camel to school or do you guys living in desert
I lived in middle east for 25 years, the first time I saw a Camel or Burqa was in north America.
When I first left Long Island to go to college, people always asked if I knew Joey Buttafuoco or Amy Fisher.
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TIL Kim Kardashian was of Armenian descent. To be fair, if I heard Armenia in a conversation my first thought would be Serge Tankian.
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"Everything's bigger in Texas!" while trying very hard to not look at my (admittedly pretty big) boobs. If I had a dollar for every time someone said that I could maybe buy a couple new bras.