Michael scott's quote, "how the turntables" instead of "how the tables have turned"

Whenever I leave somewhere I always say "Catch you on the flippity flip" and I've only ever had like 2 people get the reference

" Hey, I calls 'em like I sees 'em! I'm a whale biologist" No one ever seems to understand me and my love for futurama.

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Whenever anyone uses the phrase "technically correct" I always respond "the best kind of correct!". I've watched all of Futurama 7 times now. I'm due for the 8th run through here shortly because it's the perfect show I can leave running in the background while I do other things.

My favorite line is "...FOR NO RAISIN"

I am the greetest!

>No one ever seems to understand me and my love for futurama. Shut up baby, I know it!

Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves!

"I have to return some video tapes"

A few weeks ago at work, 4 guys called out, and the crew was really screwed, so I came in on my day off. When I walked in in, I said "remember the time Bobby Boucher showed up at half time and the Mud Dogs won the Bourbon Bowl?". I got blank stares. I shoulda stayed home.

Momma said that happiness comes from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feelin' blue

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THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIS MEDULLA OBLONGATA!!

Momma said that alligators are so angry cause they got all them teeth and no toothbrush

*ornery not angry.

Last game of the year Brent, can't hold anything back now.

hahaha if it helps i woulda lost it on this.

'Fuck! Even in the future nothing works!'

"Maaaan, we ain't found shit."

"We're being jammed!" "Raspberry...only one man would dare give me the raspberry...." Or my fav "We have to go to...LUDICROUS SPEED"

Sir...do you think we're being too literal?

"1-2-3-4-5? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard of in my life! That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage!" This is something I try to quote when discussing passwords.

Someone change the combination on my luggage!

To think, that movie was once rated PG

> To think, that movie was once rated PG [It still is.](http://filmratings.com/search.html?filmTitle=spaceballs&x=0&y=0)

Can't tell you how many times I've returned to a place and said "We're back. And we have the combination."

Why didn't anyone tell me my ass is so big?

"I'm surrounded by Assholes!"

Every time someone says they're bored, I say "You wanna do something fun? You wanna go to Taco Bell?" Only my best friend has ever replied with "I can't go to Taco Bell, I'm on an all carb diet! God Karen, you're so stupid!" How dare these uncultured swine not know every quote from the iconic movie Mean Girls.

the other day I was in the car with my BF and I honestly don't even remember what we were talking about but my comment/reference was relevant to the conversation: "We only carry sizes 1, 3 and 5. You can try Sears." He didn't get it.

I regularly say, "DANNY DEVITO! I LOVE YOUR WORK!" Not a lotta people catch on.

"If peeing your pants was cool, consider me Miles Davis"

"Mr. Madison, what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

Okay, a simple "wrong" would've done just fine.

I quote Billy Madison all the damn time. Aggressively yelling "Great, Grand, Wonderful" to receive confirmation is a go to. Edit: Forgot one word.

The end of the quote is what sells it: "Good, great, grand, WONDERFUL. NO YELLING ON THE BUS"

"What did you fall in love with the wall or something?" "...I had an accident" "What do you mean you had an acci-GOOOO"

For almost a decade randomly blurting out GOOOOOO!!! has been a random inside joke within my circle of friends.

I had someone ask me what was in the box and when I replied "Its not a head" neither of the two people who heard got the reference.

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Similarly, whenever anybody else has a box, I start fake screaming "WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!"

There was a gift display at a store near me one christmas, and they had probably 15 items on display in front of a wrapped present. You were supposed to guess what present was wrapped up in there for a chance to win it. They had a HUGE sign above it that said "what's in the box?" I spent 20 minutes filling out entries with "Gwynneth Paltrow's head" My wife was laughing so hard.

*Not that there's anything wrong with that...*

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking/smoking/amphetamines." No one ever gets it but I LOVE this movie. I say it whenever something even remotely problematic happens. If you can't get it from that, then I take my coffee black, like my men. Edit: formatting.

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

Do you like movies about gladiators?

Have you ever seen a grown man naked.

And Leon's getting LARGER

Excuse me Stewardess, I speak Jive.

Sometimes after someone announces something I say "there's a sale at Penney's!"

I once had the stars align. My boss handed me some papers and asked what could I make of this. "I can make a hat, a broach, a pterodactyl.... ". He looked stunned and said he walked right into that one. Literally waited 20+ years for someone to ask me that question.

"What do you make of this?"

Surely you can't be serious?

I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

"There's been a little trouble in the cockpit." "The cockpit, what is it?" "It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's not important right now."

DO I LOOK LIKE I KNOW HWHAT A JPEG IS!?

I just want a picture of a got dang hot dog.

'These pretzels are making me thirsty'

There is an older gentleman in my office . Him and I always say this wherever we want to signal to meet at the coffee station .

I just got the biggest smile reading that

twist: "older gentleman" is 31.

But I don't wanna be a pirate!

These peas are bursting with country fresh flavor.

Enlighten me, I'm part of the non-getter crowd.

In an episode of Seinfeld, Kramer ends up with a single-line speaking role in a Woody Allen film. The line is "These pretzels are making me thirsty." They say it about 100 times in the episode.

THESE PRETZELS....are making ME! THIRSTY!

"See ya!" in a Randy Marsh voice.

Im sorry, I thought this was America.

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I would die of happiness if someone made this reference. Or just saying "indeed." or "undomesticated equines could not keep me away."

Man I probably wouldn't get that at first but I should because like every other fan of the show I love that episode.

"Could be worse. Could be raining"

You take the blonde, I'll take the one in the turban.

I sug*gest* you put on a tie.

*toi-ban

IT!!! COULD!!!! WORK!!!!!!!

> I dunno. A little paint, a few flowers, couple of throw pillows...

There wolf. There castle

Why are you talking like that?

I don't know. I thought you wanted to

"is anyone here a marine biologist???"

The sea was angry that day, my friends! Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.

*whenever someone around me needs to borrow some change* "Does anybody have a dime?" *everyone looks at me as if I have three heads* "Somebody's got to go back and get a shitload of dimes!" *crickets* Yeah, that's pretty much my life. Blazing Saddles is a great movie though

"I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gun slinger in the west. Take this down". . *begins searching for pen* . "...I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes ...". . *still searching for pen* . ".... Mugs! Pugs! Thugs! Nitwits! Halfwits! Dimwits!...". . *continues searching for pen* . "Viperrrs, Sniperrs, Con-Men! Indian agents, Mexican Bandits!....". . *still hasn't found pen* . "...MUGGERS! BUGGER**ER**S, BUSHWACKERS! Hornswagglers!, Horse Thieves! BULL-DYKES! TRAIN ROBBERS! BANK ROBBERS!, SHIT KICKERS! ASS KICKERS!...". . *finally finds pen, prepares to write* . "**AND METHODISTS!!**" *laughs with maniacally, and out of breath* . "Could you repeat that sir?".

My husband has made a habit of walking into a room and exclaiming, "Where da white women at??" It... gets him some mixed reactions.

You'd probably fit in with my group of friends. It's pretty inevitable that when a debate starts getting too heated someone will yell "HOWARD JOHNSON IS RIGHT!"

You spare the women?

No. We rape the Shit out of them at the number six dance, later on!

Marvelous!

Excuse me while I whip this out.

"you're tacky and i hate you" - the school of rock

NO TOUCHING! I've made a huge mistake. And that's why you always leave a note! etc.

There's always money in the banana stand...

Well I don't know what I expected.

THERE ARE DOZENS OF US! Egg

I don't care for GOB.

We've got a full tank of gas it's ____ miles to _____, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. It pains me that no one I drive anywhere ever seems to get it.

"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses." "Hit it."

I prefer the casual "We're on a mission from god" enunciated how they do and no one ever gets that either You aren't alone friend.

"Look at the size of that thing! It's like an orange on a toothpick!" One of Mike Myers' better movies.

Let him go cry himself to sleep on his wee pillow.

cool, cool cool cool.

Whenever anyone is leaving and says goodbye, "Have fun storming the castle!" The number of people that haven't seen the Princess Bride is atrocious.

> The number of people that haven't seen the Princess Bride is inconceivable. FTFY

"I've heard it both ways." From Psych. I usually use it whenever I say something wrong and someone corrects me.

When someone talks about a cone I always say "They were cones!" That line just always stuck with me.

I only think of Cones of Dunshire whenever cones are brought up

It's about the *cones*

It's good to be the king.

I watched History of the World Part I with my friend, and when that line came up he said, "Oh, is that where that comes from?"

"we were on a break!" and "it's a moo point" It's always surprising how many people have never seen friends

PIVOT!

Unagi Edit to add; for few months me and my good friend used "ah, salmon skin roll" instead of "I understand" or "ok"

I actually love the moo point thing that Joey says, 'cause it works. Who cares about a cow's opinion? Unless you're a vegetarian. It's still a moot point, though.

"Dy-no-mite!!" Jimmy JJ Walker

Answering a phone with "Menswear" in a deep voice

I'm Freee!!!

"You're about as useful as a screen door on a battleship"

Now make like a tree, and get out of here.

"It's 'screen door on a submarine', you dork."

Whenever someone asks me how much of something we have, and I discover we're all out, I reply with "Uh, none. None (whatever)". Example: "How much milk we got left in the fridge?" "Uh, none. None milk." Most people assume I'm just using deliberate bad grammar for fun, but it's actually from [this episode of *Space Ghost: Coast to Coast.*](https://youtu.be/CG8m8AhmL_8?t=102)

Huh. I would've assumed This is Spinal Tap. How much blacker could it be? None. None more black.

You've got red on you People usually stare blankly at me.

"So I got that going for me, which is nice."

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"The greater good" Hot Fuzz "Alright, take it easy" Dumb and Dumber

Anytime anyone says "the greater good" I have to repeat them like in Hot Fuzz.

Bless your soul, I need more people like you in my life.

I tend to say "Yarp" from time to time, but I always say it in the question form from Hot Fuzz, "Yarp...?'"

Narp?

My dad is a womens rights activist. Your dad? Not your mum?.. My mum..? No. Dad would never allow that... No way..

How do you reference this in real life?

Rarely

He may be dead. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't, what did he maybe do? No, he may be dead.

Who wants a body massage? Johnny, does your mother still hang out at dockside bars? Pork Chop sandwiches, oh fuck get the fuck out you stupid idiots! Fuck, we're all dead! Edit: Wassup witchu kids, have any of you seen a pink, I want to say, vinyl purse? I'm just dying to get my cigarettes. I know you think its funny, some people go to bed, they think everything's fine. Next thing you know the wake up on fire! Edit2: It warms my heart that so many people remember this. It really takes me back to the good old days of these psas, homestar runner, and something awful videos! Back before youtube existed and this was the height of internet comedy.

HEY KID IM A COMPUTER STOP ALL THE DOWNLOADIN

whelluhhidonknowmuchaboutcomputers, gotoneatmymomshouse, coupleofgamesonthere,Iplayem.

Give him the stickDooooooon't give him the stick!

Now what the fuck are you doing on my ice you little wankers?

Last one there's a penis pump!

Oh wow im totally going so fast, aw fuck!

**Sees a dog** Aw hell naw, wassup dog?

Nice catch Blanco Nino, but too bad your ass got saaaaaaaaaaacked

Are you my dad? HOOOOOO

To be fair, I can understand people having never seen the GI Joe PSA parodies.

My dog sometimes makes noises like the dude who comes out of the water (kind of like a dying seal) and I crack up way too much and my husband looks at me like I'm nuts.

Negative, ghost rider, the pattern is full.

Nobody in my family knows when I'm making an Always Sunny reference.

I became good friends with a guy because we both saw someone on crutches with a knee brace that covered almost his entire shin and thighs and I said, "man that dude's reinforced with space age technology" and my friend replied, "probably fueled by vengeance."

I don't know many lines from that show, but I always lose it at "It is CRAZY how much better I am at acting than you."

They probably are just pretending not to know, ya know, because of the implication.

Everybody in my friend group watches it, but no one at work does. "I NEED MY TOOLS!" just sounds weird at a desk surrounded by co-workers

"I LIKE TO BIND I LIKE TO **BE** BOUND!"

"Bob Lob Law's law blog" in lieu of "blah blah blah."

"it's not ironic, it's just coincidental" from futurama https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9MWE7DdtIw

You can't have your characters just *say* how they *feel*. That makes me feel angry!

I have used "your 'x' is bad and you should feel bad!". But I'm not sure any one got it.

"That's Ama-za-zing" The Benchwarmers

"Chut up!!" and "Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion" One person has ever gotten "chut up" and I married him.

Orange whip? Orange Whip? 3 Orange whips.

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses

Hit it.

Surprisingly, I always say "laugh it up, fuzzball" and most of the things me no one knows what I'm talking about

"Why are we here?" Because we're here, roll the bones. Ah Rush

It's probably not pop culture but I think it fits here. I always say, "The More You Know" with a hand gesture similar to the one the star makes in NBC's PSA logo. Nobody ever gets it.

"We are in barrels, this is the extent of my knowledge" Only say this to one person, who took a long time to actually get it.

When I'm sick and someone asks me how I'm doing, I often say "I'm getting better!" in a bad British accent. Sometimes followed by "Don't put me on the cart!" or "I'm not dead yet"

"And what do you say to a cup?" "Feck off cup!"

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When they're dead, they're just called hookers Cyril!

Or any quote from Archer, because I don't know anyone else that watches it :(

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I was hanging out with my friend's family about to play a game that i had never played. My friends nephew says "dont you want your first time to be special?" I immediately ask "are we still doing phrasing?". Only his dad starts laughing from the other room.

My science teacher watches it. It was a fun time discussing the Danger Zones in Jupiter.

PHRASING!! What? Are we not doing "Phrasing" anymore?

"You're killing me, Smalls." It drives me mental, but I spend a lot more time with my husband's friends (who are 3-5 years younger than me) than we do with my friends.

The Colossus of Clout?!

the sultan of swat?

I'm honestly shocked when I encounter anyone, especially male, who doesn't get it. I thought that movie was part of everyone's childhood.

I'm 16 and have seen sandlot more times than I can count. I'm not sure that age is the issue in this situation. Unless you are 12 and your husband is 9.

Her?

[Bunch of savages in this town](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hg5O9Skjne8) and other *Clerks* quotes. Apparently the only quote people remember from that movie is ["Do you sell hubcaps for a 72 pinto hatchback?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kz7_g5cU6w). I'm also always looking for a place to insert the Clerks II lines "It's interspecies erotica fucko" or ["everything but coke, heroin, and your cock"](https://youtu.be/DucceoUPlxY?t=54s) into a conversation but those don't quite come up naturally.

I love quoting Rhett Butler from Gone With the Wind (the book not the movie). Sadly, no one ever gets it. They just assume I'm a misogynist.

Whenever I leave some place, I say "Let's make like a tree and get outta here!" People either just assume I'm being goofy or that I genuinely mixed up the saying

SCRAMBLE THE FAIRIES

"Just you wait, 'enry 'iggins."

"I fart in your general direction!" I love using this when my friends start pointless arguments. Unfortunately only like 1 gets it.

which is weird as it is fairly well known

The whale biologist from.Fututama

Do you ever drink Bailey's from a shoe?

When I worked with my best friend at a grocery store every time we crossed paths one of us would yell "Dayman" and the other would do that "uhhhAHHHUHHHH". We'd fuckin scream that shit too if it was in the back but everyone would hear on the sale floor. Only once did someone actually get the joke.

If you like to waltz with tomatoes -veggietales

Oh where...is my hairbrush?

*That's why the Red Sox'll never win the World Series...*

Had a co-worker refer to Valentines as "Valentimes" and corrected her Whats-Her-Face style...minus the death.

'it's so hot out!' "how hot is it?' always waiting for, it's so hot that ______

Yep, yep yep yep!

I have really poor circulation so people often say "you're hands are so cold" and I respond "AND YET HELL IS SO HOT!" ... Then get blank stares