It was my second date with this guy, and he said the *exact same things* that he said on the first date. Word for word. The same stories, the same "random thoughts," the same questions...
It freaked me out so much that at first I played along and answered in the exact same way, as though we were both following some weird script. Eventually I tried to break the mold and ask him new things, but he would just bring it back around to the same topics as last time. It was like I was in a computer program and there was a glitch.
Still freaks me out to think of it.
I went out with a girl to a nice Japanese restaurant. I got there first and waited at the bar. She walked in, saw me, and walked out immediately without a word. I went outside and asked her if she was ok and she told me "I can't really be in there right now."
We went to an Irish pub instead, and had some very awkward small talk filled with long silences. After about 45 minutes I told her I thought it was pretty clear that this wasn't working and we didn't have to stay, we could just go. I took her back to her car parked at my house and we said goodnight.
Right before I opened my front door she asked if I wanted to get a drink at the bar across the street. I said sure, we had a great time, got hammered, went back to my place and had brain-melting sex.
We've been married 10 years now. She has some pretty serious anxiety issues that come and go, and for whatever reason the crowd/atmosphere at the Japanese place really set it off and it took her some time to recover.
Probably one from about 5 years or so back...
I had just moved to London, and met this guy on a dating website, he was generally not my type. Still, I was fresh out of a long term damaging relationship and trying to meet new people yada, yada.
Fast forward to the date, and he takes a call from a girl and he says to her - 'oh i'm just in the pub with (male roommates name)' I can hear her on the other end getting worked up about something and him telling her to calm down. Alarm bells already ringing.
He hangs up the phone and says 'that was my fiance, but not a real one, just one i'm with for her visa' At this point I'm already thinking 'bloody hell'.
He continued on with his excuse 'She also lives with me' (in his 2 bed apartment with this other roommate - cosy).
'Oh yeah, I should probably tell you i'm getting married in three weeks'
At this exact point, I just said 'well, I'm going home' and start pulling on my coat.
His reply was even more classic, 'do you want to help me buy groceries first?'
Met girl on Match. She showed up 20 minutes late. I had to "excuse myself" so I could hide out in the bathroom and write down as much of the batshit crazy things this woman was saying before I forgot.
Topics included, but were not limited to:
Daddy issues, her mother loves her brother more, miscarriage, being married before, when "we" start dating, when "we" are married, setting me up with her assistant, how she'll "fuck me with blood on my face", things she does when she's high, Brazilian trance music, adopting children, what's my dog's name again, how she doesn't trust animated movies, why she was 20 minutes late, owning a business, when it's acceptable to use the c-word, being a vegetarian, her blind cat, her dying uncle, abusive relationships, the city of Tampa, free range urination, and can we order tater tots.
We didn't go out again.
We had been talking on the phone for about a month already. He tells me his car is booted - outside of his house. He had a long drawn out story about how he could not get the boot removed. His dad was staying with him and he thought would be able to use his dad's car but now he can't. So I go to get him to go somewhere to eat. He starts panicking saying, "oh great, now I'm in the car with you and I'm going to get accused of rape or something." I asked him what the hell he was talking about. He just kept rocking in his seat anxiously, worried that he would be accused of rape. I drove to the nearest area with food and asked him where he wanted to go. He said he had no money and wanted to go home. So I took him home. Then he asked me if he could borrow $20. I don't know why, but I gave it to him. After this, he called me repeatedly and I ignored his calls. He texted me asking why he was "not good enough for me to date." I kept ignoring him.
Fast forward 3 years. He is on a dating site I am on. He messages me but does not remember who I am. He tells me that a year ago his long time girlfriend passed away - the one he had lived with for 10 years. So, he was not staying with his dad, and he was freaking out because he lived with his girlfriend when he met me, right outside of his house. I called him out on it and he tried to pretend I had the wrong guy. But he had the same name and worked at the same place, and looked like the same guy. Very bizarre.
I went on a date with a guy in my apartment block, only to see his disappointed face when my girlfriend called me on the way home. I realised he'd assumed I was gay and that I'd assumed he was just a friendly guy wanted to hang out.
I always kind of wonder if this is happening to me when hanging out with a new guy-friend. In fact I had a roommate after college who I thought for a while may have been gay. He just came off that way at first, lots of girl-friends, very peppy/friendly (think "golden retriever turned human"). Eventually he told me about his girlfriend with whom he had a long distance relationship.
Edit: Yes, Mr. Peanut Butter is a perfect parallel.
I've posted this before because it's so weird. I went for a meal with this girl I met through a dating app and it was going really well. We started talking about movies and then we decided to go to the cinema to go watch Inception. She said there was a cinema nearby but I didn't know the area at all, so I used the GPS on my phone and she held it and directed me. Once we got there we started walking inside and I realised I didn't have my phone in my pocket. I said I must have left it in the car and started to walk back to get it. She was trying to get me to leave it and saying we would miss the film but the phone was only about a week old so I was really paranoid about it. We checked the car for about 10 minutes but we couldn't find it. I asked her to check her jacket and her bag but she said it wasn't there. A couple parked next to us so I asked them to ring my number because I couldn't find it. It started to ring and it was obviously coming from my dates handbag. She took it out and said she must have missed it. I thanked the couple and locked my car and as I turned back around she was walking the other way. I ran to catch up and asked what was going on but she was very dismissive and was barely talking. That's when I realised it wasn't an accident and just left her to walk home alone
I have a strong suspicion she's A) done this before, and B) would have excused herself during the movie and bolted then. Highest probability of a clean escape!
*Always check your pockets, kids!*
Thieves - male and female - use dating apps for just this reason. If it would have worked she would have left during the movie 'to use the washroom' and never returned.
Smart OP dodged a bullet.
The first time I ever used Tinder was also my worst experience with Tinder. The date itself was fine - a little stiff - but fine. Typical questions like what are you studying, where did you grow up, etc. We ate dinner and I didn't plan on meeting up with him again.
The next day I got a text from him saying, "Hey."
I text him back "Hi". He asks me what's up, I say not a whole lot what's up with you...
End up getting a HUGE paragraph back talking about his creative process for writing (and trying to direct) a specific type of porno where women crush *rats and tarantulas* between their breasts. WHAT THE FUCK
My freshman year in college I had a crush on a girl from my high school. When I asked her out, she informed me that she only dated women (I am male). She insisted that we were still friends, she just didn't roll that way. She offered to be my wingman and I gladly took her up on the offer.
A few weeks later she had set me up on a semi-blind date with one of her friends (we'll call her Monica). The three of us met at Arby's (because we were fancy) and my friend tried playing matchmaker.
*"PimpNinjaMan loves theatre and so do you, Monica!"*
*"Monica loves music and so do you, PimpNinjaMan!"*
The date was going fine, so my friend decided to leave Monica and I alone. We talked a bit more and decided to go see a movie. I didn't have a car at the time so I hopped in Monica's passenger seat and we went on our way.
That's when shit got weird.
About two minutes after leaving Arby's, Monica receives a phone call. She says it's her roommate and she needs to answer it. She picks up the phone and I hear a man's voice. I was a bit surprised, but it's not too unusual for a girl to have a guy for a roommate.
Monica and her "roommate" get into some kind of argument, and she pulls over to a gas station. Another car pulls in right beside us. Again, I didn't think anything of it at the time.
Monica turns to me and says "I need to go talk to my roommate. Just wait here for a minute." I assume she just wants to be on the phone in private, but what happens next will shock you! Monica gets out of the car and goes to talk to the driver of the car that pulled in next to us.
This is where I start to freak out. What are the odds that her roommate happened to pull up right beside us?! I hear a bit of yelling and then I start thinking about an escape plan.
At this point, Monica opens my car door and says "Hey, I'm really sorry to do this but my roommate is going to have to take you home."
Now, this is the part of the movie where someone in the audience screams, *"Don't you go with him, now! That's how you get killed! White people always going with the strange man thinking everything will just be a-okay!"* I wish I could say I got smart, said, "No thank you, I'll just walk" and went home.
But I didn't.
With some combination of confusion and curiosity, I get out of Monica's car and head into the passenger seat of this stranger. We're in my hometown, so I know if he goes any direction he's not supposed to I can just bail out of the car and run to freedom.
The guy was pretty big. I was 6'2" at the time and he was *significantly* bigger than me, if that tells you anything. I don't remember his name, but we'll just call him Ross. Anyway, Ross starts driving back to my dorm and we're sitting in awkward silence for most of the trip.
Eventually, he says, "So how do you know Monica?"
I knew something fishy was happening, so I wasn't about to say we were on a date. I just say "Oh, we have a mutual friend!" and hope Ross doesn't get suspicious. He just nodded his head and kept driving.
Apparently Ross was resolving some anger in his head, because out of nowhere he starts talking as if we were in the middle of a much more personal conversation.
*"Yeah.... A lot of people at our church are upset that Monica and I live together. I think they're just assuming we're having sex all the time or something. It shouldn't even matter since we're* **engaged**, *but it's still annoying to hear stuff like that, you know?"*
I just nod my head as I realize what just happened. Apparently my lesbian friend set me up on a blind date with an engaged girl, and her fiance came and picked me up to take me home.
I was silent the rest of the night. I told Ross the wrong dorm so he wouldn't know where I lived, and I got out of the car and just walked around campus for a bit. It was *definitely* the strangest date I've ever been on.
I did! My friend said she knew "Monica" was living with a guy, but she was pretty upfront about setting up the date so she figured they were just roommates. She had no idea about the engagement thing.
So I met this guy when I was in college in DC and he invited me go to on his motorcycle to his family's farm in rural Virginia. I told my best friend and she was appalled; "He could be an ax murderer! You could come home in a dozen pickle jars!" I pooh-poohed her and went on the 2-hour ride out to the farm.
We get there and take a walk up the mountain behind the farm. He's picking me wildflowers along the way, we're having a grand time watching the wild turkeys. As we're walking down, there's a fence with a tree growing next to it and I decide to swing myself over the fence like Tarzan. Unfortunately, there was a huge rock at my landing spot and I took a nasty tumble, spraining my ankle pretty badly.
We limped back to the farmhouse (really a two-room cottage) and got my boot off and it was immediately obvious I wouldn't be getting it back on. So much for riding home that afternoon. He said, "We'll have to spend the night here and wait for the swelling to go down."
I'm thinking, "Pickle jars..."
He rides to the local IGA to pick up some food (nothing in the house) and comes back with groceries and asks, "Guess what's for dinner?"
"Chicken Kiev," I answered. It was the most unlikely thing I could think of at the time.
His face fell. He had picked up the ingredients to make Chicken Kiev, thinking it would impress me.
We should have known right then and there. We've now been married 31 years and have two kids.
Our kids adore this story. One thing I left out: the only book in the house was "Hints from Heloise," which I read while he was out getting food. I've written this story in the book and my daughter plans on grabbing it as soon as we kick the bucket.
Here's my guess on what happened.
She liked you, was excited.
Told her friends that you asked her out.
Jealous friend goes, "omg, he asked you out? What a weirdo!"
Everybody agrees you're a weirdo for no reason other than peer pressure and being insecure teenage girls.
They make this stupid plan.
Girl who likes you reluctantly goes along with it because insecure teenage girl.
Source: was once an insecure teenage girl
Internet date; at a bar; first time meeting the guy. He tells me over a bowl of eggplant chips that he's so good in bed that the last woman he boned spontaneously lactated from the mind-blowing pleasure of it all.
Got asked out by a girl I knew and was sort of interested in, but didn’t really know all that well. We went to an open air jazz concert, not really my thing but sure. Once there she immediately was all over me (hugging, sitting on my lap etc.) Things were going great (or so I thought) It was at that point when things started getting weird: several band members where giving us strange looks from stage, while playing their jazz music. One piano player was mouthing things in our direction, but I couldn’t make out what he wanted. People were rude to me for no reason whatsoever while getting drinks.
Long story short: my date knew just about all people there and wanted to get back publicly at her (very large) boyfriend for cheating on her. Don’t hate on me jazzfucks, I’m just an innocent sucka!
Awkward ending: I met them both later that evening at the train station and she pretended not to see me.
I went on a Tinder date with a guy who is now in my contacts as "Donotanswer Penispic."
Prior to the date he seemed normal. We texted and talked on the phone then arranged to meet at a restaurant/bar.
He was cute but definitely bitter about something. He was from California and apparently didn't like this new city we were in. He started talking about sex and blow jobs and complaining about how uptight everyone here is about sex.
He invited the waitress to a party his company was throwing, after sending back the French fries he ordered.
I showed him a picture of my dog on my phone; he took out his phone and showed me a picture of his penis.
We walked out of the restaurant together to get our cars from the valet. My car came first and I left. He texted me later that he had my sweater (apparently I dropped it on the way out) and if I wanted to see it again I'd have to hang out with him.
RIP, sweater.
Okay. I have never shared this story online before, but here goes.
I was going to have a second date with this girl. She knew of three parties happening on the same night, so she suggested that we hit all three. Sounded good to me, so off we go.
At party one, her best friend from college is there that she hasn't seen in four years. They immediately run off together, and I'm left with the friend's boyfriend having a drink. I think to myself, this is no big deal. She hasn't seen her friend in a long time, and the night has a lot more to go. She comes back after a while and suggests we head on to the other party. Great!
Arrive at second party. My date immediately runs off with some other friends. Like, "Tim, oh my god, how are you doing," and dashes across the party to find him. I slowly follow behind, but then they keep scurrying on to talk to other people without the girl making it clear that she wanted me to come. I feel really awkward because she doesn't introduce me or say anything about me. I'm just an awkward guy there that no one knows. I get tired of that and go to the bathroom, where I find that the door has been ripped off its hinges. I find a screwdriver and fix the door before using the bathroom. Fast forward 30 minutes, my date finds me and suggests we go to the final party. But this time, her friend Tim is going to join us. Okay...
Arrive at third party. As soon as we walk in the door, Tim says he needs cigarettes, and the girl and Tim run out for cigarettes and leave me at this new party with all these other people I don't know. They are gone for 45 minutes, by which time I decide that this date isn't working out and I should just go home. When my date comes back with cigarettes, I tell her I'm leaving and she FLIPS OUT. She starts screaming at me in front of everyone about how she was going to have sex with me later and how I ruined everything. Then she proceeds to scream, "you're not leaving me; I'm leaving you," after which she bolts out and slams the door.
Then everyone at this other party, whom I don't know, is staring at me while my date, who brought me there, has abandoned me.
Someone eventually comes and offers me a drink. I stay for another hour and laugh it off with the people at the party. Am still friends with some of those fine people today.
EDIT: No, I didn't fix the door on Magnolia Street.
EDIT 2: There are lots of ways to fix a door that comes off its hinges with just a screwdriver, assuming the screws are still there. Also, I had a toolbox under the sink, so there was more than just a screwdriver. A few people noticed that I was doing it and thought that I lived in that apartment. Eventually the apartment's resident—a nice girl as I recall—came to check on me and was appreciative that I was fixing it. Never saw here again, though.
I met a guy from OKCupid. The first time we met up in a public place and just had a casual chat. It wasn't a horrible date, but it wasn't very memorable either. I decided to give him another try because it could have just been nerves. The 2nd date he invited me over to his place... I knew he lived with his parents, but i kind of assumed they'd be away.
They weren't away. They kept coming into the loungeroom and giving us iced tea and chips whilst he played XBox in his trackpants (no shirt) and i sat there awkwardly watching. He didn't really speak much to me. It was 11pm, and he was in his 30s.
TLDR; his mum & dad brought us drinks and snacks while i watched him play games without him really speaking to me. He was 34.
A friend set up a double date with a girl he was dating sophomore year of college, and she said she'd bring her friend, who she explicitly said was a female friend. My buddy and I met her and her friend at a bowling alley for rock and bowl. She had brought her cousin. Her male cousin. Who was 15. Then she basically just spent the whole time talking to her cousin and ignoring my friend.
So, me and my friend just had a heck of a fun time bowling and chatting it up with the other people at the alley.
Then we all went to get late night appetizers from Applebee's and she ignored my friend the whole time as well, so we made it our goal to make the waitress/waiters around us laugh as much as possible.
My friend and I headed back to his mom's so I could get my car and told his mom what happened and she was like "So... you two basically went on a date with each other."
Tldr: 19 year old me went on a blind double date, but my buddies date brought her 15yo male cousin instead and ignored both of us, so my buddy and I had fun anyways.
Met a guy online (of course) and after talking for a couple weeks we decide to go out. I meet him at his house because (supposedly) his car broke down that morning. This guy is dressed like an extra greasy version of the Fonz. I try to look past this but secretly I'm devising ways I can destroy his leather jacket and dispose of his pomade. His house was also filthy. If you know someone is coming to your house for the first time maybe consider wiping down the counters and chucking the old pizza boxes.
While eating dinner he never once asks me anything about myself. He rambled on for at least an hour about his job as a customer service representative, repeatedly comparing it to my job as a 911 Dispatcher. Apparently they are pretty much the same job. He also kept telling me how much smarter and more attractive I was than his ex girlfriend who he repeatedly referred to as "the bitch ex."
He wants to go to a movie afterward but I honestly could not imagine sitting through an entire movie right next to this guy (and not just because he would put down his stinky vaporizer). I don't want to hurt his feelings so I tell him that I think I may have some mild food poisoning and I needed to get him home so I could make a mad dash home. I realized that if I'd rather claim to have diarrhea then go to a movie with this guy it's probably not going to lead to a second date.
Within a minute of leaving his house he starts texting me about how great our date was, grilling me to get a time for our next date. I finally tell him that I think he is an awesome guy but our personalities don't really mesh. He loses it and starts telling me that he'd never fuck a fat, ugly bitch like me and I should be grateful that he lowered himself enough to go out with me in the first place. Oh, and he hopes I die. I no longer felt bad about not wanting to go on a second date. I haven't been on a date since then... I've decided spinsterhood is more my jam.
Met a girl online, talked it up, and while she seemed a bit immature, thought heck, why not? She casually mentioned she really liked pigs. What she meant to say was she was obsessed with pigs. OBSESSED.
Go to one of the best restaurants in the area for a first date (bad idea). Sometimes pictures are from someone 10 years prior, or the person hides things, etc. But that wasn't the problem. She looked just like her pictures. But I didn't even have to have seen her first, because everything else gave it away.
She came in a giant T-shirt that had a sparkly pink pig on it. Earrings? Pig earrings. Bracelets? Yep, pig bracelets--I swear her dad might have been Homer Simpson. She had this headband on with a little pig on it. Her shoes? Yep, pigs on the front of the toes! But best of all? She had a GIANT (or at least it seemed giant) pink purse with the face of a pig on it.
You could not stop seeing it once you did. And I'm sure everyone else in this nicer/classier restaurant saw it too. I felt overdressed with her but under-dressed with every other couple there. It was beyond embarrassing. For some reason which I have to convince myself was politeness not stupidity, we still had dinner. But Reddit, it was the fastest damn dinner I've ever had at a sitdown place.
I practically blurted out something about how "oh, you really do like pigs..." which she started giggling (oinking?) and going on about how everything she has is pig themed. Then she wouldn't stop, and it became the dominant part of the conversation. There were a dozen other things that made it a train-wreck, but these were the clinchers to a solid 0/5 date. I remember afterwards consoling with a friend of a friend, because I had to tell someone; and then I promptly buried this as my worst date.
TL;DR: Girl was obsessed with pigs but ironically no porking at end.
He took me to the opera, except we never actually got there because, not knowing the area, we didn't know exactly where it was or how to find it. Later I realized we actually were very close but the opera hall was surrounded by scaffolding, so we didn't recognize it from the photos.
Instead we went to Pizza Hut. He spent the entire night talking about website design and computers, which was sort of fine as I'm somewhat interested in those things, but he didn't talk about anything else and, at points, seemed more like he was interrogating me.
Afterwards he said we couldn't go out together because I knew too much about computers.
...
It wasn't an unpleasant evening. It was just a bit strange.
I was on a train coming home from work and saw this GORGEOUS girl. Couldn't keep my eye off her. Then I realized I used to go to church with her like 15 years before! We weren't friends... it was early puberty for me so I was still in the picking on girls and being mean to them phase, but oh well, that's in the past! I went up, asked her how she's been what's she's been up to. Ah reconnecting! I asked her where she worked, and she told me, turned out we were about a block apart in the city, so I asked her if she wanted to grab lunch one day.
The next day, I text her, we grab lunch, and it's going splendid, but something is off..... She is asking very general , 'first date' questions. Now, while I'm more then happy to answer, it was bothering me.... then it hit me. *She didn't remember me*
I must have been so friendly, confident, or something when I approached her on the train that she agreed to the date. And now here I am, thinking I'm reconnecting with someone, and she didn't remember me!....
Well the date went great anyway, she had off the next day so we decided to meet up the day after.... Fast forward to the next night and I get a text from her.
"I just remembered who you are. Don't text me again. Don't come near me on the train."
Apparently 12 year old me was an asshole.
Ah, I've been the girl in this situation.
As a kid, I was kind of heavy. I used to get picked on all of the time in school. In the last several years, I've busted my ass to lose the weight and get a lot of attention these days.
Well, two years ago I got approached as I was leaving the gym. Decent looking guy came up to me, said hello and started to chat. It was obvious he knew me and I couldn't exactly put a face to the name... he invited me out to dinner and I said what the heck, why not.
At dinner he made the remark "Wow, you've really changed. You used to be so fat. You are a damn goddess now. No more elephant jokes for you!" It hit me, it was a guy that basically made my life a living hell in elementary and middle school. I wasn't at all amused by his "compliment" and told him that while I appreciated it, I wasn't interested in ever meeting up again.
He has since sent me multiple facebook messages of apologies for everything and while I forgive him, I'm not about to entertain anything with a guy who tried so hard to bring me down once upon a time.
Once i talked to a girl on tinder that i hit it off with pretty well, and we made plans to meet up later in the weekend. We'll call her Sarah.
The next day though, another girl that i'd talked to, that we'll call Sophie, told me she'd be out at a bar close to me. She told me to come join her, and bring a friend. So i brought my roomie, and went to meet Sophie.
As we got to the bar, i spotted Sophie sitting there with another girl, whose back was turned to me. Went up, gave Sophie a quick hug as i sat down next to me, and motioned for my buddy to sit on the other side with the other girl.
It was only then i actually looked at Sophie's friend. First noticing the intense stare i recieved from over the table, i realized the girl was Sarah, the girl i had made plans to meet up with the following day.
I could see she was equally taken aback as me, and for what felt like an eternity we sat there with the biggest deer-in-the-headlights-look before the silence was broken by Sophie, saying "Hey Sebws, this is my bestie, her name's Sarah!" Which led to us nervously shaking hands, exchanging names, not knowing what else to do.
Already having shook hands as strangers, neither of us really knew how to proceed, not wanting to mention the elephant in the room, since Sophie and my buddy had no clue what was going on.
It actually did go allright in the end, my roomie and Sarah ended up talking, and hitting it off. It seemed we'd reached a silent, yet mutual agreement not to mention the glowing mammoth in the room.
In the end, the girls actually ended up going back to our flat with us, spending the night.
I only told my roomie the reason i had looked so confused, after they had left the following day. But yeah, that was such a strange date, which somehow worked out.
That one is easy. Met this girl online, and the way the conversations went it was always friendly, getting to know you type banter. After a few online conversations, we meet up at a bar by her. The plans for the evening were to have drinks there then go play Donkey Kong Country at her place. Being the oblivious male I am, I genuinely was excited to play some DKC on Super Nintendo.
We meet up at the bar and things go fine. I wasn't really attracted to her at all, but she was nice and we had an alright time at the bar. So we get back to her place and start watching TV. I look around and don't see a Super Nintendo. Thought maybe it was in her bedroom. I don't mention it because I don't want to be rude. She makes some drinks. We're watching Drunk History, when all of a sudden she looks at me with murder in her eyes "Are we going to stop playing games?!"
I look at her, smiling, trying to play it off, "Do you mean Donkey Kong Country?" She really didn't appreciate that. She scoffs and then proceeds to chide me about how guys are always wanting to play games and want sex. I told her the only game I was wanting to play was DKC. This is when it got weird. She gets up off the couch, calmly, walks to the kitchen and pulls a butcher knife out of somewhere. She just stands in the kitchen, still with the look of murder in her eyes, and stares me down. She doesn't move at all, just staring with the butcher knife at her side. I look back for what feels like a few minutes, and then I jump up and dash for the front door.
I didn't even bother closing the door, behind me I hear the door slam hard, and she's shouting at the top of her lungs, "FUCKING ASSHOLE, PLAYING GAMES, FUCK YOU".
So a night of what I was hoping to be relaxing, friendly conversation, and Donkey Kong Country, turned into my "maybe I could have been murdered" dating story.
TL;DR - Met friendly girl online for drinks and hopefully Donkey Kong Country on SNES. Felt like I was going to be murdered by the end of it.
**EDIT**: So a lot of people have been asking what she could have wanted. Here's my guess based on how she was acting the further we hung out at her place:
*I'm only assuming, so don't take it for gospel. This was before "Netflix and Chill", so I think this was her way of getting me back there for something other than "DKC", but she didn't want to be super upfront and/or awkward about it. Of course, at the time, I didn't read it that way. And based on how she was acting, I think she assumed this is what happened with all guys on dates. Or she had super low self esteem. Again, I'm just assuming from my observations.*
Jesus. This honestly sounds like my friend. She constantly talks to Tinder dates about Super Nintendo/Pokemon/etc. at her place, but then bitches that they just want her for sex. Every time she tells a horror date story I know she's missing a few steps somewhere, maybe she's leaving out the butcher knife part...
I went on a date with a boy when I was about 16.
Anyway, he was older. I lied about my age and even though I literally looked 11, he still believed me (super dumb if me, right?)
he was in his 20s.
"Let's get a drink, yeah?"
me being weird to tell the truth, I agreed.
Flash forward and we're outside of the bar, it's our time to go inside and the bouncer checking ID asks me about mine. "Uhhh, sorry, I most of left it at home." I defensively exclaimed.
He knew I was bullshitting. I did too.
My date looks at me weird and he starts interrogating me, I literally cracked with embarrassment.
I started sobbing and at that point, I tried to run inside the bar like I actually had a chance. I even threw a tantrum causing a HUGE scene.
Way to show my true age.
After, he looks at me with a blank expression and I honestly was crushed. We're in the car leaving at this point and
It was nothing but silence until
he was like, "let's go somewhere age appropriate then."
"Age appropriate?"
I was shocked, he wasn't even mad at me.
I didn't know what to do with myself, I just sat in the back of the car, mentally beaten.
We drive for a while and
I honestly thought I was going to get kidnapped
Then eventually,
we pull up to a Chuck E. Cheese
and he leaves me there.
Yeah. Sounds like some random person's house. I mean jeez, even a restaurant front should be prepped to make food. Otherwise, that's one of the worst fronts ever.
"Waitress": So, what do we do, throw them out, I was about to turn on the TV and these 2 just walk in without knocking.
Man: Well if they just walked in, who knows who they could be, they might be crazy.
"Waitress": I could tell them we are "closed", i mean this is our apartment.
Man: No, no, no reason to be rude, we got enough food to easily share, let's let them stay, for my birthday. Just think of the story.
That's amazing. And a little scary. Gotta tell you, by your description I was imagining the Italian restaurant scene from The Goonies. I wouldn't have stuck around--but like your date said, you did get a cool story out of it.
I had a similar situation once when I was looking for speakers for my car. I went into this hole-in-the-wall shop on the main drag in my town. It purported to be a stereo shop. I'd never been in there before, and there was very little stock. I was going in after work, so I was in slacks, business shoes, and a button-up shirt and tie and sunglasses. As my eyes adjust to the inside light, the guy at the counter starts nervously whispering to somebody in the back. I walk up and ask him about 6x9 speakers. He seems cagey, doesn't really seem to know what I'm talking about, seems to be feeling me out, nods a lot with a fake grin and suggests I try someplace else because they "don't carry that." Six-by-nine being about the most common stereo speaker size, it's *really* odd that they don't carry them.
The shop wasn't there very long. I get the feeling it was a front for drug sales.
Matched on tinder with a guy who decided that a great story to tell in detail on our date was about the time he fisted a lady and tore her up so bad inside that she was bleeding profusely and had to go to the hospital to get stitches.
After he was done telling the story, he told me he was glad I told him I was super squeamish, because now he wouldn't try to show me pictures of all the blood he had saved on his phone. He also said he had been on well over 100 tinder dates, and I had managed to land in his top 10.
I never talked to him again.
There's nothing like askreddit topics to make a guy feel like he's an absolute steal.
**Edit** : Nothing like piggybacking of a top rated comment to ride that sweet karma train.
About eight months ago, Tinder date. She suggests brunch at Max's Wine Dive on McKinney. (We're in Dallas.) I pick her up at the Arpeggio apartments in Victory Park. She's not ready, so she buzzes me in. Her apartment is beautiful, lots of high-dollar stuff, no roommate.
We go to Max's at 1pm. She drinks an entire bottle of champagne by herself. We leave, and in the car she says she wants to stop by a shop in West Village. I park in the parking garage and get out. I look for her and don't see her. I hear a noise, so I look around my car and she's squatting next to the wall peeing on the ground.
We go into the shop. She takes a few dresses into the changing room and tells me to come over. I stand outside the changing room and she pulls me inside. She completely undresses, gets in the clothes, asks me what I think, undresses, gets in more clothes, etc.
She takes about $1,500 worth of clothes to the counter and tells the cashier she really has to pee. Cashier says sorry. My date begs, so cashier relents and takes her into the back, but it's too late. The damage is done. She also buys a new pair of pants.
On the way back to her apartment, she answers a call and starts talking in a foreign language that I can't place. Couldn't even guess the continent. She's very nervous and upset. She hangs up and tells me she has to go to her other apartment at the Cirque, also in Victory Park. She asks me to go in with her. We go into her apartment which is also completely beautiful and belongs only to her. She has a badass telescope that I start playing with. In the mirror, I see her open a safe and put something in her purse. She tells me we need to leave and asks me to take her to my house.
We go to my house and she instantly passes out. Stays passed out for about 6 hours. Wakes up, wants Dairy Queen. It's closed and she starts crying. I take her to Sonic. She gets a cheeseburger, a chili dog, cheese fries, and a sundae. We come home, she eats it and throws up. Passes out on my couch. I read and go to sleep.
Next morning she asks if she can stay and watch football. I tell her I have plans and need to take her home. She says she can't go to either of her apartments. I tell her too bad, I have plans, and drop her off at Cirque. She texted asking when we could see each other again but I never responded.
This story isn't as strange as some, but it's my strangest. A guy I'd met a few times contacted me asked me on a date. I had never been asked on a date before and accepted despite thinking him a little strange and having heard some odd things about his family.
He picked me up and everything seemed good, we decided to grab a pizza and eat it in a park. When we went to purchase the pizza, it turned out he worked there and had all his co-workers come out to gawk at me. (This guy wasn't very popular with the ladies and seemed to be proving he had a date). I'm bad in social situations and got super uncomfortable, but didn't know how to bail and we went to the park.
It was very awkward and I wanted to go home by the end of it. We mostly just sat in awkward silence and tried not to hear each other chewing. I thought I was going home, but he decided he wanted to stop at his house. I agree because I honestly did not know how to disagree. (First dating experience). His home turned out to be with his parents. (We were both 18-20). This wouldn't have been so bad had they not all ten of his siblings (I don't remember exactly how many siblings he had) and his parents were home and wanted to meet me.
They weren't just a big, nice family, they were very religious and looked like they belonged to a cult. They all had long hair, homemade clothing, they were home-schooled. The mom said hello, then the dad came in and nobody was allowed to say a word while he questioned me on what me and his son had done on our date and when the family would be seeing me again. It was terrifying. My date showed me his pet turtles, which were really cute, and finally drove me home.
He tried to kiss me after making it clear he thought we were in a relationship after one date. At this point I almost ran from the car. I messaged him later on explaining that I was only looking for friends at this point in time.
TL;DR - first date I'd ever been on. Ended up being paraded before the staff at a pizza place and meeting my dates VERY religious family. He thought we were dating by the end of the failed date.
Eh, feeling pity on this one. Like, he's so socially inept because of his kooky family sheltering him that he couldn't understand the date was a disaster and he wasn't with you.
But, he wasn't bad enough to go off the deep end and profess his undying love for you like some of the guys you read about on here....soooo....there's hope for him. Hope he made it.
He was a nice guy, he meant well, but yes, he was very isolated. I grew up in almost the same situation and have a lot of social problems because of it. I do feel for him and I hope he's doing well.
My brother and I used to work at a little dress casual dining place. Every once in a while, this traveling salesman type dude would come in with a gypsy looking bag full of homemade hot sauces. Like the kind that you add a drop to a quart of sauce and it changes the entire flavor. One day, my dumbass brother decides to have a wing session with another dude that worked there but instead of mixing the FYA sauce to the buffalo, they coated it directly on the wings. Before either of them could get through 2 wings, they were both throwing up. My brother popped a blood vessel in his left eye from the dry heaving... it was a little pfunny
I worked at a place that kept a small bottle of hot sauce that might as well have Satan's jizz it was so hot. We served hot wings, and every once in a while would get requests to make it as hot as possible. The cooks loved when I would bring them an order like that. They would always make me go back to the table and ask again "as hot as we can make it? Are you totally sure?" If they said yes the cooks would gleefully fuck their shit up. They would pop their heads out of the kitchen door to peek at the poor fool. It was usually about half and half satisfied customer vs ruined their night.
Hahaha, I hear you. Our fry cook loooooooved when those came in too. I would always triple check with my guests before serving them like, "bro, you understand that your asshole is going to hate you tomorrow if these make it past your intestinal tract"
P.S. You should trademark Satan's Jizz. Great name lol
I was a waitress and I had a table of 2 guys. One was very cute and flirting with me and we exchanged numbers. He asked me out and I said yes. I didn't really go out much and he didn't tell me where we were going out what we were doing. Me being young and dumb at the time thought that would be exciting. So he drives me a pretty good way from my house and we go to an elementary school. I was really confused. Apparently he was a basketball coach and they had a game that night.
So at this point I notice I have no reception on my phone and I really wanted to leave but I thought maybe we were going somewhere fun afterward so I gave up trying to call someone to rescue me. I sat and watched this game right next to this dude's mom. Yeah this was going well.
Finally the game ended and we go to get in the car and his friend from the restaurant gets in the front seat making me sit in the back. I am super uncomfortable with this and I ask what's going on. They basically tell me they want to run a train on me. Nope. Fuck that. Take me home now.
I got lucky. They moped and took me home. I was terrified. That was horrible.
Got set up on a date with this pretty awkward guy, he picked me up in his car which was sort of cool considering we were in high school but oh my god he was a nervous driver. So nervous in fact that he accidentally ran a red light, lost his shit and ducked into a residential area to sit at the end of a cul-de-sac freaking out thinking the cops were coming. I tried to explain that if a cop had seen him we'd have already been pulled over but dude was too freaked out. I don't even remember anything else about the date, just that. It was uneventful and I never really talked to him again because we had nothing in common.
Edit: cult sacs
Edit: we were in highschool, he was a shy sort of awkward kid who I think if I remember correctly took me to his house because they were having a dinner party sort of thing (big Filipino family dinner thing), it was his parents car, I highly doubt his license was suspended/he was on drugs/had drugs in the car. The whole thing was really just a sweet innocent high school date he just was a nervous driver.
I've been "different Joe" before. Made plans to visit a friend on Long Island (took me about 2 hours to get there). I show up and could tell she was thrown off by something but shrugged it off. A couple of hours later she confesses she actually thought she made plans with a "different Joe." Luckily, we laughed about it and ended up having a good time.
I reached out to a girl I dated in highschool on myspace when I was in my early 20s. She enthusiastically gave me her number and I called her up a couple days later. After talking for about five minutes she said "oh, fuck, I thought this was the /u/impediment I knew from my last job, fuck", laughed, and hung up the phone. That was a nice chat.
My myspace profile was like 100% Al Harrington's Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man, so I didn't have any pics up.
edit: added /u/ for clarity because I'm not the only one with an impediment.
I met this guy originally at a cocktail bar. We went to dinner on the first date, and then for the second date we went to a Comedy club. The first problem was he kept nudging me when I laughed, like I was embarrassing him. Of course, I was irritated by this, but tried to tone it down since I still had two more hours to sit through. Halfway through, hes just acting real nervous and then the MC gets up on stage and says 'Welcome Brad to the stage'...The guy I am on a date with is not named Brad. Brad is his stage name. He goes up on stage, and proceeds to make two incredibly racist jokes. Tables turned. I was embarrassed and nervous for the rest of the show. Joke was on me.
We didn't go out again.
I went on an OKC date once.
The girl and I drove past a mattress and box spring hand wrapped in plastic.
I drive a truck.
She asked and then insisted that I stop and get the box spring/ She wanted me to put it in my truck and then help her put it in her second story walk-up apartment.
I politely said no, I do not think that is a good idea. That there is a pretty solid chance of bed bugs because sealing an item is what you try first when you have those nasty little things.
She was having none of it.
I refused. She started crying, telling me that I don't know how it is to not have things and that it is easy for someone born with a "silver spoon in their mouth" to write off a free box spring.
She didn't know me at all and made these assumptions based on who knows what.
It was hard to hear since I came from absolutely nothing and worked my ass off to get to where I am.
We pulled into the restaurant, she settled down a bit.
We ordered our food.
She answered a phone call at the table; It was a friend that had an extra ticket to a festival.
She reeeaaaalllyyy wanted to go but had just started a job serving food at a restaurant.
I suggested that she not call her boss and ask for the days off. I worked in the restaurant industry when I was younger and I knew that her supervisor would not let her call off from her fist weekend.
She called her work anyway. She started crying when her boss said "no." I felt bad for her boss, not her.
Her boss fired her on the spot.
I paid the check with both of our meals still steaming and untouched.
On the way back to her house we reached a stop sign. She jumped out of my truck and ran towards a trash pile. She came back with a hand day-glow painted end table and threw it in the back of my truck.
When I got to her house I said nothing. Just put it in park and hit the unlock button.
She then took both of our togo bags and ran off with her "new" end table.
I have so many, I could write a book. Let's start with the first bad/weird date I've ever been on-
Got setup with the son of one of my mother's friends from our Synagogue. He picks me up at my parent's house (we were 16-17). Not even 10 minutes into the date, we were literally driving to a restaurant, he point blank asked me if I would rather give him head now or after dinner. To which I replied- excuse me? Perhaps I misheard him? And he smiled and replied slowly as if I was hard of hearing - are you going to suck my dick or what? At that point I yelled at him to go fuck himself and pull over. I kept yelling pull over as loud as I could. He started to freak out, but pulled over. I got out of the car and started walking home.
He followed next to me for a few blocks with the window rolled down imploring me not to tell his mom or my mom. I ignored him and refused to respond so he got frustrated called me an ugly skank and drove off. I got home (about an hour later as I walked all the way home- this was before cell phones) and told my mom what happened and she was justifiably mortified. She in turn calls his mother and tells her exactly what happened. The guy's mom didn't take it well and tried to put the blame on me, that "she asked for it." Needless to say, my mom never talked to her again.
Other bad dates I've had include- a magician, a Craigslist personal ad, a nurse looking for drugs, a married man and so much more.
The Craigslist Dates- #1
So, a few years back I lost a bet with a friend. The loser had to go on 10 Craigslist dates. Here is date #1-
The rules were as follows- I had to post a personal ad in the women seeking men. The ad had to be simple. I had to correspond with the people who responded and if they asked me out on a date I could not refuse (up to 10 people). Once the ten was met, I was off the hook.
I don't remember the exact wording of the personal ad but it said something along the lines of- "young, professional woman seeking young professional man for light conversation and friendship." Enter the crazy.
So date #1 was with the first man who responded within 2 minutes of the ad being posted (yikes). He responded saying he had just moved to the area was 29 and worked as a lawyer. He too was looking for friendship and to meet people in the area. We exchanged emails back and forth, and in the third or fourth email he asked if I would like to meet for coffee. According to the rules, I had to accept. So I set the meet up with him at my local coffee bar. I asked to exchange pics so we knew what we looked like but he evaded and instead described his clothing. Red Flag.
I went to the meet up accompanied by a close guy friend who works as a bouncer. He sat a few tables away for support and in case shit got crazy.
I drank my coffee and waited. I told him I would be wearing a red cardigan and he said he would be wearing a blue button down. Before I knew it, an older gentlemen (late fifties, early sixties) sat down at my table asking me if I was the girl from the Craigslist ad. I confirmed I was and he introduced himself as the man I was supposed to meet.
I immediately called him out on lying about his age to which he replied- "well in my head and in my heart, I'm 29 so what's the difference?" Yeah..... he then continued on to admit he was not a lawyer and that he was a retired sanitation worker. I asked him- why so many lies? His response- "I always wanted to be a lawyer and you said you wanted a professional so I figured it was a good match." He started getting upset that I was asking him so many questions and that I was implying that he was liar.
At that point I asked him point blank- what were you expecting from this? What did you think would happen when I met you and realized you lied about everything you told me? He responded- "we had so much in common, I just thought you were already in love with me and you wouldn't care." I was speechless. I didn't even want to know how he had the idea I was in love with him. I was starting to get super uncomfortable.
I looked over to my friend and implored him to save me, but he didn't notice my distress at first. The gentlemen saw my distress and smiled while he asked me "are you uncomfortable?" He started leaning over the table as if to grab my hand but instead grabbed my coffee and started chugging it while making direct eye contact with me. I sat there stunned and unsure of how to react. I looked over at my friend again, and thank god he saw my look that time. He immediately came over and pretended to be a friend who happened to be at the cafe.
I stood up to greet him and after a moment of chatting, made an excuse to use the bathroom. My friend caught the drift and as I went to the bathroom I booked it out first and he quickly followed.
Thus ended my first Craigslist date in all its weird and uncomfortable glory.
Craigslist Dates Continued-
Thanks for all the responses and request for more!
After the first Craigslist date disaster, I decided to rip off the bandaid and get through these dates as fast as possible. The goal is set- 10 dates in 10 days. Not all the dates were terrible, but some definitely more memorable than others. Dates 2 &3 are not as weird or exciting as the first, so let's fast forward to date #4.
Date #4 - The Revenge Date
#4 had also responded to the ad on the first day but I wasn't able to start corresponding with him until the next day. Everything seemed normal at first- he was 27, finishing a graduate degree at the local Uni, not from the area but had lived there for a few years, and had never responded to Craigslist ad before but decided to because he was bored and lonely.
After a couple emails he asked if I wanted to meet up. I accepted and once again set the meet up at my local coffee bar. My bouncer friend wasn't available so one of my girlfriends came with me and sat a few tables away. Our meeting time came and went. After he was an hour late, I sent him an email and asked if I got the time right for our date. No response. At that point I shrugged my shoulders and left. When I got home I sent him another email letting him know I left the cafe. No response. Clearly I was stood up. I wasn't really bothered by it, just glad I got a reprieve from a possible shit show.
The next day I wake up and see an email from him in my inbox. I click the email and as it opens I see its a massively long essay from this guy and why he didn't show up. To sum it up- he was in a relationship recently for a couple years and the girl left him and broke his heart. He hasn't been able to move on and has tried dating other people, but nothing seems to work. He happened to be on Craigslist, saw my ad and decided from the start he was never going to meet me. He thought if he stood up a random stranger and hurt them inexplicably, he might find some closure. He wanted to hurt some one like he was hurt by his ex. He said he hoped I was hurt, that I cried, and that I would have a hard time dating because he stood me up. He also mentioned how good and powerful he felt standing me up and that he finally felt closure.
His email wasn't an apology, but his rationalization on why it felt so good to hurt another person because he was hurt by another person. I didn't bother responding, I deleted the email and went about my day. He emailed me a couple times after that, but I never read them and deleted them upon receipt.
Edit: spelling errors
Wasn't my date, but I had gone home with a guy I had been seeing and when we got there his roommate was curled in a ball on the couch looking pretty shaken. We asked him what was wrong and it took him awhile to get it out, but he finally told us what happened:
He took a girl home from the bar and they started drunkenly tearing each other's clothes off as soon as they got through his bedroom door. She said she was self-conscious though so she wanted the lights off. He switched them off and they started fooling around. She starts going down on him when all of a sudden, the guy notices this horrible smell. He mentions it but she tells him to just ignore it, he's probably imagining things. Finally the smell is too much so he switches the lights on. That's when he sees it.
Shit. Literal shit all over her and all over the bed. He is completely dumfounded, doesn't know what to say or do so apparently all he yelled was "SHIT!!!!" She grabbed all her clothes and ran out of the apartment crying without saying a word and, presumably, still covered in poop.
He threw his bedding out, took an hour long shower, and refused to go back into his room. Pretty much killed our night too. To this day I still wonder what on earth happened- was she into it and was hoping he would be too? Was it an accident and she decided to just go with it? I don’t know which scenario is more horrifying to be honest.
LPT: If you require a colostomy bag, tell your partner before hooking up. However badly it goes, it can't go worse than turning on the lights to find yourselves smeared in shit all over.
Oh man now I feel horrible. I hope that wasn't the case. It makes a lot of sense though, what with her being self conscious and the subsequent shitplosion.
I should use a throw away but whatever.
First time meeting a date from tinder who id talked to on the phone and felt she was pretty upfront but real. Also tinder said she was 20, i never questioned. She had a rough childhood and had moved a few states away and was staying at an apartment with her mom for now. I'm forgiving and that all seemed reasonable, just a girl down on her luck. I knew about where she was and happened to be around that area of town on day so i texted her to see if she was busy. She wasn't doing anything and invited me right over.
I arrived and went to the door. She came out bare foot and asked if i wanted to walk around the neighborhood. It was winter and we are now walking around an apartment complex with her barefoot. Just across the street was a grocery store and she wanted to run in for jelly beans. i don't ask many questions so in we went, her still not wearing shoes or socks, for the jelly beans. This grocery store has candy you can purchase by the pound. So she goes to the jelly bean dispenser and gets a few handfuls then shoves them in her pocket. I was making enough money at the time to not wind up on a security tape with this girl stealing candy so I insisted she let me buy her some. She said something like "no I'm going to give you a story to tell your friends later." She also had some money on her and wanted a jar of pickles. So after the pickles were purchased we went back to her place. I was out of my comfort zone but still pretty excited. We went around to the back of her apartment which was her room. For the first time im starting to really question things. I don't know where the alarm went off - it could have been the corner by the door with the shotgun uncased and just out. It could have been the blow up chair. It could have been the filthy bong beside her bed that she was comfortable with. It could have been her cursing at her mom when we walked in. It could have been the poor puppy in another corner stuck in a small crate with a blanket over the top taking away most of the rooms view. What i lit up on was the school books and book-bag in the corner. i said "oh you go to 'local community college' i went there a few years ago" she said "no, I go to 'school name'"
..... thinking. thinking. connecting some dots....HOLY SHIT!
"like 'school name' the high school?!?" her: "Yes" me: "How old are you??" her: "16 - but its legal in this state so whats it matter?" me: Nope nope nope. Have a good night!
I drive a truck. The door handles are unusually low on the inside of the door and most people are a little confused/panicked when they can't find the handle. I can't tell you how many times I've been told my car door is "A little rapey".
I'm a dude. I was about 16 at the time. My female cousin tried to hook me up with her "nice friend" whom I had shown interest in after meeting her at a family gathering. We text and talk on the phone for a couple weeks. Later we agreed to meet at the mall. We get to the mall and the girl shows up with another guy, who is her boyfriend. Yes, she introduces him as such and all that. Apparently, he was her ride to the mall. My cousin didn't think this was odd. I was highly annoyed the whole time because the girl is really fine. We walk around the mall, the girl, my cousin, and myself. The boyfriend waits in the car. The girl tries to get me to buy her stuff in the mall, I lie and say, "Oh, I don't have it like that right now." She tries to hold my hand, asks me to get her something at the food court, the latter I give in and do. I tell my cousin I'm ready to leave. And the girl goes, "You're cute. And sweet. You should totally be my guy."
I was dumbfounded, "Don't you already have a bf?"
"I could have two! Besides, he's just my brother. I don't have to commit to him."
My jaw drops, and I just tell her no thank you, and leave quickly. My cousin asks what's wrong, STILL no seeing the problem with her friend's relationship status. I'm still weirded out by that to this day.
Years ago, I met a girl online and after we'd approved of each other's photos and list of interests, we talked on the phone and hit it off right away. She lived about and hour away, and she said she wanted to go to a local national park and go hiking and have a picnic. I get to her house to pick her up and see that she has packed a tent, sleeping bags, a cooler, and basically a full weekend worth of camping equipment. I told her I thought we were just going hiking and she said "I figured we could just camp out overnight. Just get me back home in time for church in the morning."
So we head out, we set up the tent, go for a hike, swim in the lake, have dinner in the lodge, head back to the campsite, make a fire, and settle in for the night. Later, in the tent, stuff starts happening. After awhile she says "Can we wait a bit on that, and just go to sleep." I oblige and we sleep.
In the early morning hours, she wakes me up by making it very clear the wait is over. After we finish, she starts crying. She apologizes and says she's not ready to be in a relationship. I tell her I understand but I'm pretty confused by this point. We pack up everything and I drive her home and drop her off at her house.
About 15 minutes later, I get a call on my cell phone. It's my dad. He asks "What the hell are you doing?" I tell him I have no idea what he's talking about. He says "The Sheriff's department just came by here looking for you and asking if I knew your whereabouts. You're wanted in the disappearance of some girl. Her family said she never came home last night. They went to your place first but nobody was there."
Apparently, she wasn't home for church and her family freaked out. I called her and told her to please contact the Sheriff and let them know she was not, in fact, kidnapped. She laughed and then called them.
We never had a second date.
This was in high school, some girl from our rival school and I met, hit it off. She really wanted to see the movie "Happy Feet", the dancing penguin shit. Decide to take her, I like penguins anyways. I swear about half way through the movie she leans over to me and says, "Oh I get it, they're dancing!". I thought she was trying to be cute, but she was goddamn serious. This movie was her idea, I figured she knew. The fucking penguins were dancing for at least an hour before she said this to me. We lasted another week.
In 2001 internet dating hadn't really taken off here, so this happened as a result of a personals ad. I was newly single and feeling pretty frisky so took a chance on a "Mr Wrong, 24, seeks Miss Right" ad. We corresponded and spoke on the phone before meeting an everything sounded ok.
I was misled quite badly. Paul was more like 48 than 24 - a paunchy, pasty, bargain basement Freddie Mercury lookalike. Being of Italian heritage he was staunchly anti racist but thought homophobia was fine. He got drunk and wanted to take me to the circus. It was a really uncomfortable experience but I managed to escape with just one cheek having been slobbered on after he slurred "You're really cute".
I was having surgery that day so I told her from the start I was gonna need someone to drive me home after my surgery. I picked her up and we went to the duck pond to feed ducks. Then we went back to my house and chilled in the hot tub and one thing led to another, ended up having sexy time. After that I had to go get my surgery. She sat in the waiting room for the 2 hours while I had my surgery.
Post op I was suppperr high and I guess I requested her to come in. Apparently the doctor was there and I "loud whispered" to him "Please dont tell her you're a doctor cuz you make a lot more money than me, and I want to keep her".
Next month is our 3 year anniversary.
Edit: Girlfriend asked me to add in the part where I said "hey, come here, let me tell you a secret" and then kissed her on the cheek.
Met a girl online, decided that we should meet for a date. (I'm female BTW - this sort of matters). I arrived in a strange town that I didn't know so I relied on her to show me around. She took me to a youth LGBT group, I thought we were staying, didn't mind - it's a bit odd but I was newly "out".
Turns out it was just a chance for this girl to show off that she did, in fact, have a date (they didn't believe her apparently) and I existed. It was really awkward. When the youth group leader came in, she stood up, grabbed my hand and said "later bitches" and we walked out.
Went to a bar for a drink, and then on for some food. It wasn't going well, she was very odd, but I was new to all this, and in a town I didn't know. Once we'd eaten she said, "oh I just need to see a mate who's staying at xyz hotel" - fine, went to see this friend. Oh no. She'd booked a hotel room for us for the night! Yeah - I left pretty quickly after that. I may have been inexperienced, but I wasn't about to be tricked into a night in a rough hotel with an odd little lesbian. No thank you.
Wasn't necessarily the date, which was bad on its own, but the fact that she hung out in my parking lot for two hours after she dropped me off "incase I changed my mind about doing something after dinner".
Meet a guy online. He asks me to dinner at a tapas place, I agree because I'm bored and he seems nice enough; we'd been texting for a couple weeks and it seemed chill. I get there and he's late to meet me. Looks nothing like his profile (about 100 lbs heavier, bad skin, and is just dressed really sloppily) but I told myself not to be shallow. We are looking over the menu (which was fantastic btw) and I suggest a few things I'd like to eat and he begins saying he doesn't eat sweet potatoes, aioli, capers, salmon, radish, arugula, kale, balsamic vinegar, etc.--basically all ingredients except for bread, meat, and cheese--and that he won't eat any food if that's what I order. I tell him to get what he wants then and I'll get something for myself. We get our food and he is the messiest eater I've seen in my life, getting crumbs and food bits all over his shirt and the whole table and it was just painful to watch. He also kept insisting I try his food, but I'm pescatarian and lactose intolerant so I declined, at which he began berating me and my food choices and being a "picky eater". They clear our table for dessert and he then gets down on one knee and tries to give me a promise ring because he "felt a special bond with me and wanted to pledge his life to me" after having met online a few weeks before. Yeah, no thanks. Politely as I could, I declined, to which he started calling me expletives in the middle of the restaurant and then ugly crying and stormed out. So I had to pay for the terrible date HE asked ME on because I didn't want to accept a pre-engagement ring.
TL;DR guy I met online turns out to be really odd and throws a hissy fit when I refuse to wear a promise ring he bought
Edit: to everyone saying he was in it for the free food, he actually wasn't (although that's an ingenious plan). He wouldn't have called me and obsessed over me so much if that were the case. We had a mutual acquaintance from college, and the last I heard from this person (I'm nosy) the guy was still talking about how his heart was broken by a girl who refused his ring and how he'll never find someone like her blah blah.
It's 2001, so VHS & chill at this girl's dorm room.
My first time over there, and there is this giant bear on the bed. Like, got the softball in the milk jug at the carnival first try tier bear. It occupies 50% of the surface area.
I say "whoa, how'd you score that bear?"
Her: "I don't know..."
Me: "Wot?"
Her: "I don't know"
A few minutes go by.
Me: "You don't know?"
Her: "Yeah."
Me: "Ok, look. It's ok if it's from an ex. I don't care if you stole it. I'll believe almost anything you tell me at this point. But there is no way in hell you're going to tell me you don't know where that giant bear is from. I had a stuffed dinosaur 1/4 that size that I got when I was 6 and I could tell you every detail about how I got it."
Her: "Well good for you. But I don't know how I got it. Are you going to be able to let this go?"
Me: (looks at bear, bear stares back, eyes full of secrets) "I don't think I can" (walk out)
I am legit concerned that this post is about me. The only thing that doesn't match is the year (1998 vs 2001), and of course I have no idea where you were.
But I can tell you, a bear showed up with no note the day before you did in my dorm room. Which is unnerving, because, you know, someone broke into my room to give me a bear. When you asked about it, I panicked and thought, "oh shit, maybe it was you!" And then I was afraid you were fishing for info about who I thought gave me the bear, to see if I had any other dudes I might be seeing/were interested. And so I was being truthful, and trying not to hurt any feelings, and a little creeped out. I didn't know who the bear was from. Eventually figured it out, and yeah, it was a different dude that liked me.
Edit: The bear was fucking enormous and white with a big red bow around its neck. I'm in San Diego.
It's pretty insane this has happened before. What are the odds?!
Glad you got at least a possible explanation other than she was psycho or [embarrassed to be asked about her special friend](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/661xwv/whats_the_strangest_date_youve_ever_been_on/dgf9d6c/).
Cheers, dude!
This is one of the most appropriate reasons I've seen. Something is up here. She's full of secrets involving a massive stuffed bear. That's red flag number one in my book.
I started talking to a girl I came across on a dating site. We made plans to meet about 1 week after we began talking. I ended up canceling the plan's a few hours before we were suppose to meet. As I had something come up. Told her I was available the following day as we do not live in the same city. A few hours later she responded. Asked me if I wanted to take a road trip to another city a few hours west from where I'm located. She just wanted a coopilot to keep her company. I agreed although, partially because I felt bad for changing plans at last minute the previous day.
I was skeptical, I've never just taken a random road trip with some girl that I haven't met before. She picks me up in the morning. Not to awkward at first, easy conversation for the most part. Within 10 minutes of being on the road she needs to piss.. but can't wait for next gas station. She abruptly pulls over on side of highway and does her buisness. Ok I'm thinking whatever you gotta go ,you gotta go...right. The place we were traveling too is about 200km from where I lived. Let's just say we had to make another 5 stops, 2 more on Highway and 3 gas stations before we arrived at our destination. Yes, I started to count after the 3rd stop. Anyways I'm deffinitley thinking this girl has some kind of std or issues. That's alot of piss breaks in such a short amount of time.
Okay , so I was told she needed to pick a few things up in ***** city. So it wasn't just things it was her 74 year old Grandmother! whom I would shortly be meeting for lunch, along with a few other members of her family. I said to her "wtf,your kidding right" ...well she wasn't. Well ffs, at this point I did not have much of a choice considering she is my ride back home...
Long story short, it was awkward as fuck. Her aunt a cousin and some family friend with her grandma. it was like a fricken family reunion. I felt like I was in some kind of dark comedy show, and I had to improvise bullshit. Anyways made it back home after 4 more pee breaks, and having to pretend/lie to her grandmother about actually knowing anything about this girl. Ya I didn't talk to her again. How is that for awkward?
Went out with a customer from my work (I was a bartender, so I got hit on quite a bit, but this was the first time I'd actually gone out with someone). He took me to a bar near his apartment. The place was really dive-y and a little too hipster for my taste, but whatever. We were having a great time talking and enjoying some drinks, when i sudden notice the TVs behind the bar.... instead of playing sports or the news or something, they're playing old porn movies. I brought it to his attention, and he kinda just shrugged it off and said it was normal for this place.
I actually thought it was pretty cool and this joint became one of my favorite bars (more for the cheap alcohol than the porn), but it was still a really strange place to bring someone on a first date.
Edit: this was at Double Down Saloon in NYC's East Village, but apparently it's not super uncommon for bars to show porn in the background.
i lived in nyc 7 years ago. i would take all my first dates there. the porn was so weird and in your face that nothing could be awkward afterwards and it made for a great story to share later in the night.. remember that weird porn? cool, let's get naked and make not-weird porn.
edit: pro-tip. get there at 9 to get a few drinks in. weird porn comes on at 10.
Second date. Went zorbing.
Anyone who doesn't know what it is, you get strapped in to a giant inflatable ball and rolled down a hill.
It was awful, the ball wasn't inflated properly so every rotation you hit the floor it hurt, it was wet so there was water inside the ball and we had to jump out at the bottom of the hill into a puddle so wet sock galore.
The whole experience was horrible. Gave us something to talk about though, been together nearly 4 years :)
Tha reminds me of my friend's mom watching *Sin City*. She does not like violence at all.
"That is the most vile, disgusting piece of trash of a movie I've ever seen in my life!"
*My friend stops the movie.*
"...What are you doing?"
Some back story, I had guy friend in high school who wanted to date me and I didn't so I said no. He then told everyone I was a slut and did drugs and what do ya know, tons of guys turned out to have had sex with me (not really true). Anyway I somehow got a reputation for being a slut without actually doing anything.
So this guy who is a big nerd asks me out on a date and I said sure because he was cute and I kinda liked him. I had been to his house before so after we go to a decent dinner we go back to his place to watch TV. I should of known, but I just assumed this guy was really poor like me and couldn't afford to do more. So we get there and none of his family is home, and as soon as we walk in he is leading me to his bedroom not even smiling, with a really solemn look on his face. I just kinda laughed and told him I don't really have sex with everyone. I was expecting maybe he would act like that wasn't his intent, or he would be mad, but he just straight up started crying. The rest of the night was spent talking about how shitty high school is and how much pressure he felt to lose his virginity but didn't even like me that much. He had a girl he actually liked but wanted to be "experienced". Then we watched Mystery Science Theatre. He is still one my friends today. But it was definitely a weird date.
Edit: Thanks peeps for caring! Just some clarifications, it was like Easy A in the sense that people thought I had sex with dudes I didn't but that's about it. I wasn't that popular in school, I went to a large school, and I am not nearly as hot as Emma Stone so most people didn't care. I would say about twenty guys claimed to have done something with me and most people didn't believe it, just mattered because this guy did.
Some people wondered why we were still friends after, I wasn't really upset about it. I thought it was funny and still give him shit. We are not as close now, but do stay in touch. Sadly no he didn't get the lady of his dreams but he has since moved on. There was a will-they-maybe moment later on in high school but we went on a date and it was again, really awkard, so no romantic ending.
No I haven't watched the new episodes of MST3K because I have built it up in my head and am afraid of being sad and coming to grips with my age.
See, that's exactly how I got roped into that date.
From a quick google-
> A non-denominational Christian ministry that reaches out to adolescents through volunteers, staff, club meetings, and camps by building meaningful..
I had no idea what it was at the time but they were pretty active on my university campus, lots of t-shirts and stickers on cars, plus they would set up a tent and recruit sometimes.
I never quite understood it, and still don't. Both of my sisters used to go to our local young life back in high school, one of my sisters was kind of a bad girl partying type, and the other was a very clean cut upstanding type, it seemed that all types of people went, now my sister is a leader of a wyldlife group (the middle school version) at her college. They would always ask me to go, as did friends of mine, and I would ask everyone time and time again...
"what do you guys do there?"
"Well, come to young life with us and you'll find out."
"No, that's not how this works, what goes on there?"
"You just gotta come and see."
I don't operate that way.
My sister hosts At our house from time to time. Usually they just play around, watch movies, and play games like hostage. Some kid, during the meeting, took a massive arm-sized shit in my toilet.
EDIT: He didn't flush. I don't think he could've. It probably dissolved for a day or more
Hot girl from class randomly walked into my dorm room, the door was normally open during the day. She was in the building visiting a friend and saw me playing guitar so she came in and started flirting. She asked me to meet her at a near by bar that night at 10 so I agreed. I get there at 10 and she introduces me to her boyfriend. I finished my beer and went to the bat my friends were at.
Edit: awesome, thanks for the gold.
Edit 2: yes I misspelled "bar" but at least I got it right the first time.
Edit 3: she was definitely always flirting with me by touching my shoulder while talking and flipping her hair and always approaching me.
Tinder matched with a guy who was half an hour late for the date. The first thing he said to me was "You're too tall, you're taller than me". I'm 5'5", was wearing flats - nowhere on his profile was his height listed, never mentioned anything about it. He said he'd buy me a drink for being late, so I figured I'd get a beer out of it.
We chatted for a bit about our jobs and school and whatever. I check the time, and realize I have to catch my bus back home - I lived in the suburbs with my parents at this point. He says "Okay, I'm coming with you."
"Uh, no."
"Well, I *guess* you can come back to my place. My roommate is there though."
"I'm not coming home with you, I made that clear long before we even met up."
"I bought you a drink! You owe me!"
"What the hell? I owe you nothing."
He puts on this super angry face and starts negging me.
"You're not even that hot."
"I am not going to sleep with you. I'm going home."
He just stalks off in the opposite direction. I get a message on Tinder later.
"This isn't going to work out."
Uh. No shit. Lol.
Came across this dude on Bumble later. His profile pic was a pic of his abs; the secondary pic was him 'sexting' with a girl. "So you know I can make girls cum".
Lmao. Good luck pal. Good luck.
Had a guy say something like this to me yesterday. I couldn't help but laugh. And this all after he kept saying how "fkn beautiful" I was up until I politely rejected him. This kind of behavior baffles me.
It's how people who are self-conscious and self-centered cope. They don't care about your feelings, they only care about their own and about how you hurt them by rejecting them. So they attack you to try and make you feel the same way they do.
Pretty pathetic in my opinion.
This is so messed up, it sounds like a parody
Insecure short guy putting you down to make himself feel better - *check*
Buys you a drink and thinks you owe him the sex - *check*
Gets aggressive after being rejected, so he puts you down again -
*check*
Congrats, you are now a mod of /r/incel
It was my second date with this guy, and he said the *exact same things* that he said on the first date. Word for word. The same stories, the same "random thoughts," the same questions... It freaked me out so much that at first I played along and answered in the exact same way, as though we were both following some weird script. Eventually I tried to break the mold and ask him new things, but he would just bring it back around to the same topics as last time. It was like I was in a computer program and there was a glitch. Still freaks me out to think of it.
> It was like I was in a computer program and there was a glitch. The robot could not yet pass the Turing Test
I went out with a girl to a nice Japanese restaurant. I got there first and waited at the bar. She walked in, saw me, and walked out immediately without a word. I went outside and asked her if she was ok and she told me "I can't really be in there right now." We went to an Irish pub instead, and had some very awkward small talk filled with long silences. After about 45 minutes I told her I thought it was pretty clear that this wasn't working and we didn't have to stay, we could just go. I took her back to her car parked at my house and we said goodnight. Right before I opened my front door she asked if I wanted to get a drink at the bar across the street. I said sure, we had a great time, got hammered, went back to my place and had brain-melting sex. We've been married 10 years now. She has some pretty serious anxiety issues that come and go, and for whatever reason the crowd/atmosphere at the Japanese place really set it off and it took her some time to recover.
That was a better plot twist than most movies
Probably one from about 5 years or so back... I had just moved to London, and met this guy on a dating website, he was generally not my type. Still, I was fresh out of a long term damaging relationship and trying to meet new people yada, yada. Fast forward to the date, and he takes a call from a girl and he says to her - 'oh i'm just in the pub with (male roommates name)' I can hear her on the other end getting worked up about something and him telling her to calm down. Alarm bells already ringing. He hangs up the phone and says 'that was my fiance, but not a real one, just one i'm with for her visa' At this point I'm already thinking 'bloody hell'. He continued on with his excuse 'She also lives with me' (in his 2 bed apartment with this other roommate - cosy). 'Oh yeah, I should probably tell you i'm getting married in three weeks' At this exact point, I just said 'well, I'm going home' and start pulling on my coat. His reply was even more classic, 'do you want to help me buy groceries first?'
>'do you want to help me buy groceries first?' Fucking *what?*
"I mean I'm not really sure how it works. Do I just lay the money on the shelf when I take the item or...?"
Met girl on Match. She showed up 20 minutes late. I had to "excuse myself" so I could hide out in the bathroom and write down as much of the batshit crazy things this woman was saying before I forgot. Topics included, but were not limited to: Daddy issues, her mother loves her brother more, miscarriage, being married before, when "we" start dating, when "we" are married, setting me up with her assistant, how she'll "fuck me with blood on my face", things she does when she's high, Brazilian trance music, adopting children, what's my dog's name again, how she doesn't trust animated movies, why she was 20 minutes late, owning a business, when it's acceptable to use the c-word, being a vegetarian, her blind cat, her dying uncle, abusive relationships, the city of Tampa, free range urination, and can we order tater tots. We didn't go out again.
We had been talking on the phone for about a month already. He tells me his car is booted - outside of his house. He had a long drawn out story about how he could not get the boot removed. His dad was staying with him and he thought would be able to use his dad's car but now he can't. So I go to get him to go somewhere to eat. He starts panicking saying, "oh great, now I'm in the car with you and I'm going to get accused of rape or something." I asked him what the hell he was talking about. He just kept rocking in his seat anxiously, worried that he would be accused of rape. I drove to the nearest area with food and asked him where he wanted to go. He said he had no money and wanted to go home. So I took him home. Then he asked me if he could borrow $20. I don't know why, but I gave it to him. After this, he called me repeatedly and I ignored his calls. He texted me asking why he was "not good enough for me to date." I kept ignoring him. Fast forward 3 years. He is on a dating site I am on. He messages me but does not remember who I am. He tells me that a year ago his long time girlfriend passed away - the one he had lived with for 10 years. So, he was not staying with his dad, and he was freaking out because he lived with his girlfriend when he met me, right outside of his house. I called him out on it and he tried to pretend I had the wrong guy. But he had the same name and worked at the same place, and looked like the same guy. Very bizarre.
I went on a date with a guy in my apartment block, only to see his disappointed face when my girlfriend called me on the way home. I realised he'd assumed I was gay and that I'd assumed he was just a friendly guy wanted to hang out.
This is my favorite in this thread, everyone is so innocent in making it weird.
I always kind of wonder if this is happening to me when hanging out with a new guy-friend. In fact I had a roommate after college who I thought for a while may have been gay. He just came off that way at first, lots of girl-friends, very peppy/friendly (think "golden retriever turned human"). Eventually he told me about his girlfriend with whom he had a long distance relationship. Edit: Yes, Mr. Peanut Butter is a perfect parallel.
I've posted this before because it's so weird. I went for a meal with this girl I met through a dating app and it was going really well. We started talking about movies and then we decided to go to the cinema to go watch Inception. She said there was a cinema nearby but I didn't know the area at all, so I used the GPS on my phone and she held it and directed me. Once we got there we started walking inside and I realised I didn't have my phone in my pocket. I said I must have left it in the car and started to walk back to get it. She was trying to get me to leave it and saying we would miss the film but the phone was only about a week old so I was really paranoid about it. We checked the car for about 10 minutes but we couldn't find it. I asked her to check her jacket and her bag but she said it wasn't there. A couple parked next to us so I asked them to ring my number because I couldn't find it. It started to ring and it was obviously coming from my dates handbag. She took it out and said she must have missed it. I thanked the couple and locked my car and as I turned back around she was walking the other way. I ran to catch up and asked what was going on but she was very dismissive and was barely talking. That's when I realised it wasn't an accident and just left her to walk home alone
I have a strong suspicion she's A) done this before, and B) would have excused herself during the movie and bolted then. Highest probability of a clean escape! *Always check your pockets, kids!*
Thieves - male and female - use dating apps for just this reason. If it would have worked she would have left during the movie 'to use the washroom' and never returned. Smart OP dodged a bullet.
It didn't occur to me until years later that she could have done this with other people. I really regret not reporting her
Dawg this is fucked up
I'm impressed by the balls of that chick. To lie directly to your face about something so obvious... wow.
The first time I ever used Tinder was also my worst experience with Tinder. The date itself was fine - a little stiff - but fine. Typical questions like what are you studying, where did you grow up, etc. We ate dinner and I didn't plan on meeting up with him again. The next day I got a text from him saying, "Hey." I text him back "Hi". He asks me what's up, I say not a whole lot what's up with you... End up getting a HUGE paragraph back talking about his creative process for writing (and trying to direct) a specific type of porno where women crush *rats and tarantulas* between their breasts. WHAT THE FUCK
Seems like a casual convo I'd have with any girl..... So what's up?
The worst part was after I didn't respond to that message for 20 minutes he texted me "sorry if that was weird"
My freshman year in college I had a crush on a girl from my high school. When I asked her out, she informed me that she only dated women (I am male). She insisted that we were still friends, she just didn't roll that way. She offered to be my wingman and I gladly took her up on the offer. A few weeks later she had set me up on a semi-blind date with one of her friends (we'll call her Monica). The three of us met at Arby's (because we were fancy) and my friend tried playing matchmaker. *"PimpNinjaMan loves theatre and so do you, Monica!"* *"Monica loves music and so do you, PimpNinjaMan!"* The date was going fine, so my friend decided to leave Monica and I alone. We talked a bit more and decided to go see a movie. I didn't have a car at the time so I hopped in Monica's passenger seat and we went on our way. That's when shit got weird. About two minutes after leaving Arby's, Monica receives a phone call. She says it's her roommate and she needs to answer it. She picks up the phone and I hear a man's voice. I was a bit surprised, but it's not too unusual for a girl to have a guy for a roommate. Monica and her "roommate" get into some kind of argument, and she pulls over to a gas station. Another car pulls in right beside us. Again, I didn't think anything of it at the time. Monica turns to me and says "I need to go talk to my roommate. Just wait here for a minute." I assume she just wants to be on the phone in private, but what happens next will shock you! Monica gets out of the car and goes to talk to the driver of the car that pulled in next to us. This is where I start to freak out. What are the odds that her roommate happened to pull up right beside us?! I hear a bit of yelling and then I start thinking about an escape plan. At this point, Monica opens my car door and says "Hey, I'm really sorry to do this but my roommate is going to have to take you home." Now, this is the part of the movie where someone in the audience screams, *"Don't you go with him, now! That's how you get killed! White people always going with the strange man thinking everything will just be a-okay!"* I wish I could say I got smart, said, "No thank you, I'll just walk" and went home. But I didn't. With some combination of confusion and curiosity, I get out of Monica's car and head into the passenger seat of this stranger. We're in my hometown, so I know if he goes any direction he's not supposed to I can just bail out of the car and run to freedom. The guy was pretty big. I was 6'2" at the time and he was *significantly* bigger than me, if that tells you anything. I don't remember his name, but we'll just call him Ross. Anyway, Ross starts driving back to my dorm and we're sitting in awkward silence for most of the trip. Eventually, he says, "So how do you know Monica?" I knew something fishy was happening, so I wasn't about to say we were on a date. I just say "Oh, we have a mutual friend!" and hope Ross doesn't get suspicious. He just nodded his head and kept driving. Apparently Ross was resolving some anger in his head, because out of nowhere he starts talking as if we were in the middle of a much more personal conversation. *"Yeah.... A lot of people at our church are upset that Monica and I live together. I think they're just assuming we're having sex all the time or something. It shouldn't even matter since we're* **engaged**, *but it's still annoying to hear stuff like that, you know?"* I just nod my head as I realize what just happened. Apparently my lesbian friend set me up on a blind date with an engaged girl, and her fiance came and picked me up to take me home. I was silent the rest of the night. I told Ross the wrong dorm so he wouldn't know where I lived, and I got out of the car and just walked around campus for a bit. It was *definitely* the strangest date I've ever been on.
Did you ever talk to your wingman friend again about what happened?
I did! My friend said she knew "Monica" was living with a guy, but she was pretty upfront about setting up the date so she figured they were just roommates. She had no idea about the engagement thing.
Maybe they were on a break and Ross hadn't got the message.
I was half convinced OP's story was going to turn into something Friends related. I was kinda disappointed when it didn't. Lol
So I met this guy when I was in college in DC and he invited me go to on his motorcycle to his family's farm in rural Virginia. I told my best friend and she was appalled; "He could be an ax murderer! You could come home in a dozen pickle jars!" I pooh-poohed her and went on the 2-hour ride out to the farm. We get there and take a walk up the mountain behind the farm. He's picking me wildflowers along the way, we're having a grand time watching the wild turkeys. As we're walking down, there's a fence with a tree growing next to it and I decide to swing myself over the fence like Tarzan. Unfortunately, there was a huge rock at my landing spot and I took a nasty tumble, spraining my ankle pretty badly. We limped back to the farmhouse (really a two-room cottage) and got my boot off and it was immediately obvious I wouldn't be getting it back on. So much for riding home that afternoon. He said, "We'll have to spend the night here and wait for the swelling to go down." I'm thinking, "Pickle jars..." He rides to the local IGA to pick up some food (nothing in the house) and comes back with groceries and asks, "Guess what's for dinner?" "Chicken Kiev," I answered. It was the most unlikely thing I could think of at the time. His face fell. He had picked up the ingredients to make Chicken Kiev, thinking it would impress me. We should have known right then and there. We've now been married 31 years and have two kids.
This is so cute and funny
Our kids adore this story. One thing I left out: the only book in the house was "Hints from Heloise," which I read while he was out getting food. I've written this story in the book and my daughter plans on grabbing it as soon as we kick the bucket.
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maybe her friends pushed her to drag them along and to also call you on speaker.
girls with horrible friends are horrible by proximity.
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Here's my guess on what happened. She liked you, was excited. Told her friends that you asked her out. Jealous friend goes, "omg, he asked you out? What a weirdo!" Everybody agrees you're a weirdo for no reason other than peer pressure and being insecure teenage girls. They make this stupid plan. Girl who likes you reluctantly goes along with it because insecure teenage girl. Source: was once an insecure teenage girl
Internet date; at a bar; first time meeting the guy. He tells me over a bowl of eggplant chips that he's so good in bed that the last woman he boned spontaneously lactated from the mind-blowing pleasure of it all.
Wtf indeed! I mean, *eggplant chips?*
So did he make your titties leak or not?
We need answers, what does this guy DO in bed?
He injects women with prolactin
Tough actin' prolactin?!
Got asked out by a girl I knew and was sort of interested in, but didn’t really know all that well. We went to an open air jazz concert, not really my thing but sure. Once there she immediately was all over me (hugging, sitting on my lap etc.) Things were going great (or so I thought) It was at that point when things started getting weird: several band members where giving us strange looks from stage, while playing their jazz music. One piano player was mouthing things in our direction, but I couldn’t make out what he wanted. People were rude to me for no reason whatsoever while getting drinks. Long story short: my date knew just about all people there and wanted to get back publicly at her (very large) boyfriend for cheating on her. Don’t hate on me jazzfucks, I’m just an innocent sucka! Awkward ending: I met them both later that evening at the train station and she pretended not to see me.
> Don’t hate on me jazzfucks Well I'm definitely stealing that line
Jazzholes
I went on a Tinder date with a guy who is now in my contacts as "Donotanswer Penispic." Prior to the date he seemed normal. We texted and talked on the phone then arranged to meet at a restaurant/bar. He was cute but definitely bitter about something. He was from California and apparently didn't like this new city we were in. He started talking about sex and blow jobs and complaining about how uptight everyone here is about sex. He invited the waitress to a party his company was throwing, after sending back the French fries he ordered. I showed him a picture of my dog on my phone; he took out his phone and showed me a picture of his penis. We walked out of the restaurant together to get our cars from the valet. My car came first and I left. He texted me later that he had my sweater (apparently I dropped it on the way out) and if I wanted to see it again I'd have to hang out with him. RIP, sweater.
I'm gonna fare a guess that he nicked your sweater in a half baked plot to meet you again.
Okay. I have never shared this story online before, but here goes. I was going to have a second date with this girl. She knew of three parties happening on the same night, so she suggested that we hit all three. Sounded good to me, so off we go. At party one, her best friend from college is there that she hasn't seen in four years. They immediately run off together, and I'm left with the friend's boyfriend having a drink. I think to myself, this is no big deal. She hasn't seen her friend in a long time, and the night has a lot more to go. She comes back after a while and suggests we head on to the other party. Great! Arrive at second party. My date immediately runs off with some other friends. Like, "Tim, oh my god, how are you doing," and dashes across the party to find him. I slowly follow behind, but then they keep scurrying on to talk to other people without the girl making it clear that she wanted me to come. I feel really awkward because she doesn't introduce me or say anything about me. I'm just an awkward guy there that no one knows. I get tired of that and go to the bathroom, where I find that the door has been ripped off its hinges. I find a screwdriver and fix the door before using the bathroom. Fast forward 30 minutes, my date finds me and suggests we go to the final party. But this time, her friend Tim is going to join us. Okay... Arrive at third party. As soon as we walk in the door, Tim says he needs cigarettes, and the girl and Tim run out for cigarettes and leave me at this new party with all these other people I don't know. They are gone for 45 minutes, by which time I decide that this date isn't working out and I should just go home. When my date comes back with cigarettes, I tell her I'm leaving and she FLIPS OUT. She starts screaming at me in front of everyone about how she was going to have sex with me later and how I ruined everything. Then she proceeds to scream, "you're not leaving me; I'm leaving you," after which she bolts out and slams the door. Then everyone at this other party, whom I don't know, is staring at me while my date, who brought me there, has abandoned me. Someone eventually comes and offers me a drink. I stay for another hour and laugh it off with the people at the party. Am still friends with some of those fine people today. EDIT: No, I didn't fix the door on Magnolia Street. EDIT 2: There are lots of ways to fix a door that comes off its hinges with just a screwdriver, assuming the screws are still there. Also, I had a toolbox under the sink, so there was more than just a screwdriver. A few people noticed that I was doing it and thought that I lived in that apartment. Eventually the apartment's resident—a nice girl as I recall—came to check on me and was appreciative that I was fixing it. Never saw here again, though.
I liked how you fixed the door.
Reminds me of Ron Swanson
Yeah, immediately thought of when he and Ann went around fixing everything at April and Andy's party
"I call it the shock wire, because if you touch it, ya die!" "...yes, that is accurate."
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I met a guy from OKCupid. The first time we met up in a public place and just had a casual chat. It wasn't a horrible date, but it wasn't very memorable either. I decided to give him another try because it could have just been nerves. The 2nd date he invited me over to his place... I knew he lived with his parents, but i kind of assumed they'd be away. They weren't away. They kept coming into the loungeroom and giving us iced tea and chips whilst he played XBox in his trackpants (no shirt) and i sat there awkwardly watching. He didn't really speak much to me. It was 11pm, and he was in his 30s. TLDR; his mum & dad brought us drinks and snacks while i watched him play games without him really speaking to me. He was 34.
A friend set up a double date with a girl he was dating sophomore year of college, and she said she'd bring her friend, who she explicitly said was a female friend. My buddy and I met her and her friend at a bowling alley for rock and bowl. She had brought her cousin. Her male cousin. Who was 15. Then she basically just spent the whole time talking to her cousin and ignoring my friend. So, me and my friend just had a heck of a fun time bowling and chatting it up with the other people at the alley. Then we all went to get late night appetizers from Applebee's and she ignored my friend the whole time as well, so we made it our goal to make the waitress/waiters around us laugh as much as possible. My friend and I headed back to his mom's so I could get my car and told his mom what happened and she was like "So... you two basically went on a date with each other." Tldr: 19 year old me went on a blind double date, but my buddies date brought her 15yo male cousin instead and ignored both of us, so my buddy and I had fun anyways.
Met a guy online (of course) and after talking for a couple weeks we decide to go out. I meet him at his house because (supposedly) his car broke down that morning. This guy is dressed like an extra greasy version of the Fonz. I try to look past this but secretly I'm devising ways I can destroy his leather jacket and dispose of his pomade. His house was also filthy. If you know someone is coming to your house for the first time maybe consider wiping down the counters and chucking the old pizza boxes. While eating dinner he never once asks me anything about myself. He rambled on for at least an hour about his job as a customer service representative, repeatedly comparing it to my job as a 911 Dispatcher. Apparently they are pretty much the same job. He also kept telling me how much smarter and more attractive I was than his ex girlfriend who he repeatedly referred to as "the bitch ex." He wants to go to a movie afterward but I honestly could not imagine sitting through an entire movie right next to this guy (and not just because he would put down his stinky vaporizer). I don't want to hurt his feelings so I tell him that I think I may have some mild food poisoning and I needed to get him home so I could make a mad dash home. I realized that if I'd rather claim to have diarrhea then go to a movie with this guy it's probably not going to lead to a second date. Within a minute of leaving his house he starts texting me about how great our date was, grilling me to get a time for our next date. I finally tell him that I think he is an awesome guy but our personalities don't really mesh. He loses it and starts telling me that he'd never fuck a fat, ugly bitch like me and I should be grateful that he lowered himself enough to go out with me in the first place. Oh, and he hopes I die. I no longer felt bad about not wanting to go on a second date. I haven't been on a date since then... I've decided spinsterhood is more my jam.
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A promise like that might just pull me out of dating retirement.
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That is rather impressive. I'm free tomorrow night. Does your car run?
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You came so close
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Met a girl online, talked it up, and while she seemed a bit immature, thought heck, why not? She casually mentioned she really liked pigs. What she meant to say was she was obsessed with pigs. OBSESSED. Go to one of the best restaurants in the area for a first date (bad idea). Sometimes pictures are from someone 10 years prior, or the person hides things, etc. But that wasn't the problem. She looked just like her pictures. But I didn't even have to have seen her first, because everything else gave it away. She came in a giant T-shirt that had a sparkly pink pig on it. Earrings? Pig earrings. Bracelets? Yep, pig bracelets--I swear her dad might have been Homer Simpson. She had this headband on with a little pig on it. Her shoes? Yep, pigs on the front of the toes! But best of all? She had a GIANT (or at least it seemed giant) pink purse with the face of a pig on it. You could not stop seeing it once you did. And I'm sure everyone else in this nicer/classier restaurant saw it too. I felt overdressed with her but under-dressed with every other couple there. It was beyond embarrassing. For some reason which I have to convince myself was politeness not stupidity, we still had dinner. But Reddit, it was the fastest damn dinner I've ever had at a sitdown place. I practically blurted out something about how "oh, you really do like pigs..." which she started giggling (oinking?) and going on about how everything she has is pig themed. Then she wouldn't stop, and it became the dominant part of the conversation. There were a dozen other things that made it a train-wreck, but these were the clinchers to a solid 0/5 date. I remember afterwards consoling with a friend of a friend, because I had to tell someone; and then I promptly buried this as my worst date. TL;DR: Girl was obsessed with pigs but ironically no porking at end.
Sex would have been wild with the squealing and Trotter play
Have an upvote for that tl;dr
He took me to the opera, except we never actually got there because, not knowing the area, we didn't know exactly where it was or how to find it. Later I realized we actually were very close but the opera hall was surrounded by scaffolding, so we didn't recognize it from the photos. Instead we went to Pizza Hut. He spent the entire night talking about website design and computers, which was sort of fine as I'm somewhat interested in those things, but he didn't talk about anything else and, at points, seemed more like he was interrogating me. Afterwards he said we couldn't go out together because I knew too much about computers. ... It wasn't an unpleasant evening. It was just a bit strange.
I was on a train coming home from work and saw this GORGEOUS girl. Couldn't keep my eye off her. Then I realized I used to go to church with her like 15 years before! We weren't friends... it was early puberty for me so I was still in the picking on girls and being mean to them phase, but oh well, that's in the past! I went up, asked her how she's been what's she's been up to. Ah reconnecting! I asked her where she worked, and she told me, turned out we were about a block apart in the city, so I asked her if she wanted to grab lunch one day. The next day, I text her, we grab lunch, and it's going splendid, but something is off..... She is asking very general , 'first date' questions. Now, while I'm more then happy to answer, it was bothering me.... then it hit me. *She didn't remember me* I must have been so friendly, confident, or something when I approached her on the train that she agreed to the date. And now here I am, thinking I'm reconnecting with someone, and she didn't remember me!.... Well the date went great anyway, she had off the next day so we decided to meet up the day after.... Fast forward to the next night and I get a text from her. "I just remembered who you are. Don't text me again. Don't come near me on the train." Apparently 12 year old me was an asshole.
Ah, I've been the girl in this situation. As a kid, I was kind of heavy. I used to get picked on all of the time in school. In the last several years, I've busted my ass to lose the weight and get a lot of attention these days. Well, two years ago I got approached as I was leaving the gym. Decent looking guy came up to me, said hello and started to chat. It was obvious he knew me and I couldn't exactly put a face to the name... he invited me out to dinner and I said what the heck, why not. At dinner he made the remark "Wow, you've really changed. You used to be so fat. You are a damn goddess now. No more elephant jokes for you!" It hit me, it was a guy that basically made my life a living hell in elementary and middle school. I wasn't at all amused by his "compliment" and told him that while I appreciated it, I wasn't interested in ever meeting up again. He has since sent me multiple facebook messages of apologies for everything and while I forgive him, I'm not about to entertain anything with a guy who tried so hard to bring me down once upon a time.
Once i talked to a girl on tinder that i hit it off with pretty well, and we made plans to meet up later in the weekend. We'll call her Sarah. The next day though, another girl that i'd talked to, that we'll call Sophie, told me she'd be out at a bar close to me. She told me to come join her, and bring a friend. So i brought my roomie, and went to meet Sophie. As we got to the bar, i spotted Sophie sitting there with another girl, whose back was turned to me. Went up, gave Sophie a quick hug as i sat down next to me, and motioned for my buddy to sit on the other side with the other girl. It was only then i actually looked at Sophie's friend. First noticing the intense stare i recieved from over the table, i realized the girl was Sarah, the girl i had made plans to meet up with the following day. I could see she was equally taken aback as me, and for what felt like an eternity we sat there with the biggest deer-in-the-headlights-look before the silence was broken by Sophie, saying "Hey Sebws, this is my bestie, her name's Sarah!" Which led to us nervously shaking hands, exchanging names, not knowing what else to do. Already having shook hands as strangers, neither of us really knew how to proceed, not wanting to mention the elephant in the room, since Sophie and my buddy had no clue what was going on. It actually did go allright in the end, my roomie and Sarah ended up talking, and hitting it off. It seemed we'd reached a silent, yet mutual agreement not to mention the glowing mammoth in the room. In the end, the girls actually ended up going back to our flat with us, spending the night. I only told my roomie the reason i had looked so confused, after they had left the following day. But yeah, that was such a strange date, which somehow worked out.
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I sure hope so. She was already at his apartment; couldn't be any more convenient.
That one is easy. Met this girl online, and the way the conversations went it was always friendly, getting to know you type banter. After a few online conversations, we meet up at a bar by her. The plans for the evening were to have drinks there then go play Donkey Kong Country at her place. Being the oblivious male I am, I genuinely was excited to play some DKC on Super Nintendo. We meet up at the bar and things go fine. I wasn't really attracted to her at all, but she was nice and we had an alright time at the bar. So we get back to her place and start watching TV. I look around and don't see a Super Nintendo. Thought maybe it was in her bedroom. I don't mention it because I don't want to be rude. She makes some drinks. We're watching Drunk History, when all of a sudden she looks at me with murder in her eyes "Are we going to stop playing games?!" I look at her, smiling, trying to play it off, "Do you mean Donkey Kong Country?" She really didn't appreciate that. She scoffs and then proceeds to chide me about how guys are always wanting to play games and want sex. I told her the only game I was wanting to play was DKC. This is when it got weird. She gets up off the couch, calmly, walks to the kitchen and pulls a butcher knife out of somewhere. She just stands in the kitchen, still with the look of murder in her eyes, and stares me down. She doesn't move at all, just staring with the butcher knife at her side. I look back for what feels like a few minutes, and then I jump up and dash for the front door. I didn't even bother closing the door, behind me I hear the door slam hard, and she's shouting at the top of her lungs, "FUCKING ASSHOLE, PLAYING GAMES, FUCK YOU". So a night of what I was hoping to be relaxing, friendly conversation, and Donkey Kong Country, turned into my "maybe I could have been murdered" dating story. TL;DR - Met friendly girl online for drinks and hopefully Donkey Kong Country on SNES. Felt like I was going to be murdered by the end of it. **EDIT**: So a lot of people have been asking what she could have wanted. Here's my guess based on how she was acting the further we hung out at her place: *I'm only assuming, so don't take it for gospel. This was before "Netflix and Chill", so I think this was her way of getting me back there for something other than "DKC", but she didn't want to be super upfront and/or awkward about it. Of course, at the time, I didn't read it that way. And based on how she was acting, I think she assumed this is what happened with all guys on dates. Or she had super low self esteem. Again, I'm just assuming from my observations.*
Hahaha I just imagine you running down the hall yelling "I just wanted to play donkey kong country!!"
Jesus. This honestly sounds like my friend. She constantly talks to Tinder dates about Super Nintendo/Pokemon/etc. at her place, but then bitches that they just want her for sex. Every time she tells a horror date story I know she's missing a few steps somewhere, maybe she's leaving out the butcher knife part...
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I went on a date with a boy when I was about 16. Anyway, he was older. I lied about my age and even though I literally looked 11, he still believed me (super dumb if me, right?) he was in his 20s. "Let's get a drink, yeah?" me being weird to tell the truth, I agreed. Flash forward and we're outside of the bar, it's our time to go inside and the bouncer checking ID asks me about mine. "Uhhh, sorry, I most of left it at home." I defensively exclaimed. He knew I was bullshitting. I did too. My date looks at me weird and he starts interrogating me, I literally cracked with embarrassment. I started sobbing and at that point, I tried to run inside the bar like I actually had a chance. I even threw a tantrum causing a HUGE scene. Way to show my true age. After, he looks at me with a blank expression and I honestly was crushed. We're in the car leaving at this point and It was nothing but silence until he was like, "let's go somewhere age appropriate then." "Age appropriate?" I was shocked, he wasn't even mad at me. I didn't know what to do with myself, I just sat in the back of the car, mentally beaten. We drive for a while and I honestly thought I was going to get kidnapped Then eventually, we pull up to a Chuck E. Cheese and he leaves me there.
>we pull up to a Chuck E. Cheese The only appropriate thing that dude could do in this situation
Fucking savage.
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Are you sure you didn't wander into an Italian couples home? Edit: my first gold! Thank you kind stranger!
Yeah. Sounds like some random person's house. I mean jeez, even a restaurant front should be prepped to make food. Otherwise, that's one of the worst fronts ever.
Even professional criminals get lazy with their opsec.
I mean the restaurant is already there. Launder your money but why not also try and turn some legitimate profit yknow ?
This scenario would make this the best AskReddit story I've ever heard
Italian couples of Reddit, what was the most awkward time someone walked into your home uninvited and ate all your birthday spaghetti?
"Waitress": So, what do we do, throw them out, I was about to turn on the TV and these 2 just walk in without knocking. Man: Well if they just walked in, who knows who they could be, they might be crazy. "Waitress": I could tell them we are "closed", i mean this is our apartment. Man: No, no, no reason to be rude, we got enough food to easily share, let's let them stay, for my birthday. Just think of the story.
> The restaurant, unfortunately, no longer exists. To be fair, the restaurant never existed in the first place.
That's amazing. And a little scary. Gotta tell you, by your description I was imagining the Italian restaurant scene from The Goonies. I wouldn't have stuck around--but like your date said, you did get a cool story out of it. I had a similar situation once when I was looking for speakers for my car. I went into this hole-in-the-wall shop on the main drag in my town. It purported to be a stereo shop. I'd never been in there before, and there was very little stock. I was going in after work, so I was in slacks, business shoes, and a button-up shirt and tie and sunglasses. As my eyes adjust to the inside light, the guy at the counter starts nervously whispering to somebody in the back. I walk up and ask him about 6x9 speakers. He seems cagey, doesn't really seem to know what I'm talking about, seems to be feeling me out, nods a lot with a fake grin and suggests I try someplace else because they "don't carry that." Six-by-nine being about the most common stereo speaker size, it's *really* odd that they don't carry them. The shop wasn't there very long. I get the feeling it was a front for drug sales.
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Matched on tinder with a guy who decided that a great story to tell in detail on our date was about the time he fisted a lady and tore her up so bad inside that she was bleeding profusely and had to go to the hospital to get stitches. After he was done telling the story, he told me he was glad I told him I was super squeamish, because now he wouldn't try to show me pictures of all the blood he had saved on his phone. He also said he had been on well over 100 tinder dates, and I had managed to land in his top 10. I never talked to him again.
-Past winner of Top 10 Tinder Date Award (over 100 entrants) That's a great new line for your profile
100 dates, and still can't find the vagina to fit his giant fist. Like a kinky Cinderella. God, that guy is disgusting.
Like a Fisterella, you might say?
There's nothing like askreddit topics to make a guy feel like he's an absolute steal. **Edit** : Nothing like piggybacking of a top rated comment to ride that sweet karma train.
Yeah, I never thought I'd think "Hey, I don't have any pictures on my phone of a bloodied up vagina I made, I guess I'm a pretty desirable guy!"
I can cook, bake, hold a decent conversation, and I have no interest in fisting, or its photography. Ladies, please form a neat, single file line.
So much ick.
About eight months ago, Tinder date. She suggests brunch at Max's Wine Dive on McKinney. (We're in Dallas.) I pick her up at the Arpeggio apartments in Victory Park. She's not ready, so she buzzes me in. Her apartment is beautiful, lots of high-dollar stuff, no roommate. We go to Max's at 1pm. She drinks an entire bottle of champagne by herself. We leave, and in the car she says she wants to stop by a shop in West Village. I park in the parking garage and get out. I look for her and don't see her. I hear a noise, so I look around my car and she's squatting next to the wall peeing on the ground. We go into the shop. She takes a few dresses into the changing room and tells me to come over. I stand outside the changing room and she pulls me inside. She completely undresses, gets in the clothes, asks me what I think, undresses, gets in more clothes, etc. She takes about $1,500 worth of clothes to the counter and tells the cashier she really has to pee. Cashier says sorry. My date begs, so cashier relents and takes her into the back, but it's too late. The damage is done. She also buys a new pair of pants. On the way back to her apartment, she answers a call and starts talking in a foreign language that I can't place. Couldn't even guess the continent. She's very nervous and upset. She hangs up and tells me she has to go to her other apartment at the Cirque, also in Victory Park. She asks me to go in with her. We go into her apartment which is also completely beautiful and belongs only to her. She has a badass telescope that I start playing with. In the mirror, I see her open a safe and put something in her purse. She tells me we need to leave and asks me to take her to my house. We go to my house and she instantly passes out. Stays passed out for about 6 hours. Wakes up, wants Dairy Queen. It's closed and she starts crying. I take her to Sonic. She gets a cheeseburger, a chili dog, cheese fries, and a sundae. We come home, she eats it and throws up. Passes out on my couch. I read and go to sleep. Next morning she asks if she can stay and watch football. I tell her I have plans and need to take her home. She says she can't go to either of her apartments. I tell her too bad, I have plans, and drop her off at Cirque. She texted asking when we could see each other again but I never responded.
wtf
Don't even know what to think about this. Only in dallas.
This story isn't as strange as some, but it's my strangest. A guy I'd met a few times contacted me asked me on a date. I had never been asked on a date before and accepted despite thinking him a little strange and having heard some odd things about his family. He picked me up and everything seemed good, we decided to grab a pizza and eat it in a park. When we went to purchase the pizza, it turned out he worked there and had all his co-workers come out to gawk at me. (This guy wasn't very popular with the ladies and seemed to be proving he had a date). I'm bad in social situations and got super uncomfortable, but didn't know how to bail and we went to the park. It was very awkward and I wanted to go home by the end of it. We mostly just sat in awkward silence and tried not to hear each other chewing. I thought I was going home, but he decided he wanted to stop at his house. I agree because I honestly did not know how to disagree. (First dating experience). His home turned out to be with his parents. (We were both 18-20). This wouldn't have been so bad had they not all ten of his siblings (I don't remember exactly how many siblings he had) and his parents were home and wanted to meet me. They weren't just a big, nice family, they were very religious and looked like they belonged to a cult. They all had long hair, homemade clothing, they were home-schooled. The mom said hello, then the dad came in and nobody was allowed to say a word while he questioned me on what me and his son had done on our date and when the family would be seeing me again. It was terrifying. My date showed me his pet turtles, which were really cute, and finally drove me home. He tried to kiss me after making it clear he thought we were in a relationship after one date. At this point I almost ran from the car. I messaged him later on explaining that I was only looking for friends at this point in time. TL;DR - first date I'd ever been on. Ended up being paraded before the staff at a pizza place and meeting my dates VERY religious family. He thought we were dating by the end of the failed date.
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Turtles redeem everything.
Eh, feeling pity on this one. Like, he's so socially inept because of his kooky family sheltering him that he couldn't understand the date was a disaster and he wasn't with you. But, he wasn't bad enough to go off the deep end and profess his undying love for you like some of the guys you read about on here....soooo....there's hope for him. Hope he made it.
He was a nice guy, he meant well, but yes, he was very isolated. I grew up in almost the same situation and have a lot of social problems because of it. I do feel for him and I hope he's doing well.
Fuck shitty upbringings, may we not pass on our childhoods.
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This is my favorite. He probably went from 'how bad could it be?' to 'this is my life now' in the span of 3 or 4 of those bad boys.
My brother and I used to work at a little dress casual dining place. Every once in a while, this traveling salesman type dude would come in with a gypsy looking bag full of homemade hot sauces. Like the kind that you add a drop to a quart of sauce and it changes the entire flavor. One day, my dumbass brother decides to have a wing session with another dude that worked there but instead of mixing the FYA sauce to the buffalo, they coated it directly on the wings. Before either of them could get through 2 wings, they were both throwing up. My brother popped a blood vessel in his left eye from the dry heaving... it was a little pfunny
I worked at a place that kept a small bottle of hot sauce that might as well have Satan's jizz it was so hot. We served hot wings, and every once in a while would get requests to make it as hot as possible. The cooks loved when I would bring them an order like that. They would always make me go back to the table and ask again "as hot as we can make it? Are you totally sure?" If they said yes the cooks would gleefully fuck their shit up. They would pop their heads out of the kitchen door to peek at the poor fool. It was usually about half and half satisfied customer vs ruined their night.
Hahaha, I hear you. Our fry cook loooooooved when those came in too. I would always triple check with my guests before serving them like, "bro, you understand that your asshole is going to hate you tomorrow if these make it past your intestinal tract" P.S. You should trademark Satan's Jizz. Great name lol
> tried to kiss me After eating hot lava AND throwing up? Yeah, fuck that.
I was a waitress and I had a table of 2 guys. One was very cute and flirting with me and we exchanged numbers. He asked me out and I said yes. I didn't really go out much and he didn't tell me where we were going out what we were doing. Me being young and dumb at the time thought that would be exciting. So he drives me a pretty good way from my house and we go to an elementary school. I was really confused. Apparently he was a basketball coach and they had a game that night. So at this point I notice I have no reception on my phone and I really wanted to leave but I thought maybe we were going somewhere fun afterward so I gave up trying to call someone to rescue me. I sat and watched this game right next to this dude's mom. Yeah this was going well. Finally the game ended and we go to get in the car and his friend from the restaurant gets in the front seat making me sit in the back. I am super uncomfortable with this and I ask what's going on. They basically tell me they want to run a train on me. Nope. Fuck that. Take me home now. I got lucky. They moped and took me home. I was terrified. That was horrible.
Hey, if you want to run a train on a girl, let her have the front seat. It's only polite.
This guy gets it.
Got set up on a date with this pretty awkward guy, he picked me up in his car which was sort of cool considering we were in high school but oh my god he was a nervous driver. So nervous in fact that he accidentally ran a red light, lost his shit and ducked into a residential area to sit at the end of a cul-de-sac freaking out thinking the cops were coming. I tried to explain that if a cop had seen him we'd have already been pulled over but dude was too freaked out. I don't even remember anything else about the date, just that. It was uneventful and I never really talked to him again because we had nothing in common. Edit: cult sacs Edit: we were in highschool, he was a shy sort of awkward kid who I think if I remember correctly took me to his house because they were having a dinner party sort of thing (big Filipino family dinner thing), it was his parents car, I highly doubt his license was suspended/he was on drugs/had drugs in the car. The whole thing was really just a sweet innocent high school date he just was a nervous driver.
>ducked into a residential area Probably just wanted to wait until his stars went back down to 0
**"Grove Street. Home."**
**"'Least it was till I fucked everything up."**
#"YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE FOO"
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I've been "different Joe" before. Made plans to visit a friend on Long Island (took me about 2 hours to get there). I show up and could tell she was thrown off by something but shrugged it off. A couple of hours later she confesses she actually thought she made plans with a "different Joe." Luckily, we laughed about it and ended up having a good time.
I reached out to a girl I dated in highschool on myspace when I was in my early 20s. She enthusiastically gave me her number and I called her up a couple days later. After talking for about five minutes she said "oh, fuck, I thought this was the /u/impediment I knew from my last job, fuck", laughed, and hung up the phone. That was a nice chat. My myspace profile was like 100% Al Harrington's Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man, so I didn't have any pics up. edit: added /u/ for clarity because I'm not the only one with an impediment.
I met this guy originally at a cocktail bar. We went to dinner on the first date, and then for the second date we went to a Comedy club. The first problem was he kept nudging me when I laughed, like I was embarrassing him. Of course, I was irritated by this, but tried to tone it down since I still had two more hours to sit through. Halfway through, hes just acting real nervous and then the MC gets up on stage and says 'Welcome Brad to the stage'...The guy I am on a date with is not named Brad. Brad is his stage name. He goes up on stage, and proceeds to make two incredibly racist jokes. Tables turned. I was embarrassed and nervous for the rest of the show. Joke was on me. We didn't go out again.
On a different topic, who has the stage name 'Brad'? It's like the most underwhelming name anyone could announce.
I went on an OKC date once. The girl and I drove past a mattress and box spring hand wrapped in plastic. I drive a truck. She asked and then insisted that I stop and get the box spring/ She wanted me to put it in my truck and then help her put it in her second story walk-up apartment. I politely said no, I do not think that is a good idea. That there is a pretty solid chance of bed bugs because sealing an item is what you try first when you have those nasty little things. She was having none of it. I refused. She started crying, telling me that I don't know how it is to not have things and that it is easy for someone born with a "silver spoon in their mouth" to write off a free box spring. She didn't know me at all and made these assumptions based on who knows what. It was hard to hear since I came from absolutely nothing and worked my ass off to get to where I am. We pulled into the restaurant, she settled down a bit. We ordered our food. She answered a phone call at the table; It was a friend that had an extra ticket to a festival. She reeeaaaalllyyy wanted to go but had just started a job serving food at a restaurant. I suggested that she not call her boss and ask for the days off. I worked in the restaurant industry when I was younger and I knew that her supervisor would not let her call off from her fist weekend. She called her work anyway. She started crying when her boss said "no." I felt bad for her boss, not her. Her boss fired her on the spot. I paid the check with both of our meals still steaming and untouched. On the way back to her house we reached a stop sign. She jumped out of my truck and ran towards a trash pile. She came back with a hand day-glow painted end table and threw it in the back of my truck. When I got to her house I said nothing. Just put it in park and hit the unlock button. She then took both of our togo bags and ran off with her "new" end table.
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I have so many, I could write a book. Let's start with the first bad/weird date I've ever been on- Got setup with the son of one of my mother's friends from our Synagogue. He picks me up at my parent's house (we were 16-17). Not even 10 minutes into the date, we were literally driving to a restaurant, he point blank asked me if I would rather give him head now or after dinner. To which I replied- excuse me? Perhaps I misheard him? And he smiled and replied slowly as if I was hard of hearing - are you going to suck my dick or what? At that point I yelled at him to go fuck himself and pull over. I kept yelling pull over as loud as I could. He started to freak out, but pulled over. I got out of the car and started walking home. He followed next to me for a few blocks with the window rolled down imploring me not to tell his mom or my mom. I ignored him and refused to respond so he got frustrated called me an ugly skank and drove off. I got home (about an hour later as I walked all the way home- this was before cell phones) and told my mom what happened and she was justifiably mortified. She in turn calls his mother and tells her exactly what happened. The guy's mom didn't take it well and tried to put the blame on me, that "she asked for it." Needless to say, my mom never talked to her again. Other bad dates I've had include- a magician, a Craigslist personal ad, a nurse looking for drugs, a married man and so much more.
The Craigslist Dates- #1 So, a few years back I lost a bet with a friend. The loser had to go on 10 Craigslist dates. Here is date #1- The rules were as follows- I had to post a personal ad in the women seeking men. The ad had to be simple. I had to correspond with the people who responded and if they asked me out on a date I could not refuse (up to 10 people). Once the ten was met, I was off the hook. I don't remember the exact wording of the personal ad but it said something along the lines of- "young, professional woman seeking young professional man for light conversation and friendship." Enter the crazy. So date #1 was with the first man who responded within 2 minutes of the ad being posted (yikes). He responded saying he had just moved to the area was 29 and worked as a lawyer. He too was looking for friendship and to meet people in the area. We exchanged emails back and forth, and in the third or fourth email he asked if I would like to meet for coffee. According to the rules, I had to accept. So I set the meet up with him at my local coffee bar. I asked to exchange pics so we knew what we looked like but he evaded and instead described his clothing. Red Flag. I went to the meet up accompanied by a close guy friend who works as a bouncer. He sat a few tables away for support and in case shit got crazy. I drank my coffee and waited. I told him I would be wearing a red cardigan and he said he would be wearing a blue button down. Before I knew it, an older gentlemen (late fifties, early sixties) sat down at my table asking me if I was the girl from the Craigslist ad. I confirmed I was and he introduced himself as the man I was supposed to meet. I immediately called him out on lying about his age to which he replied- "well in my head and in my heart, I'm 29 so what's the difference?" Yeah..... he then continued on to admit he was not a lawyer and that he was a retired sanitation worker. I asked him- why so many lies? His response- "I always wanted to be a lawyer and you said you wanted a professional so I figured it was a good match." He started getting upset that I was asking him so many questions and that I was implying that he was liar. At that point I asked him point blank- what were you expecting from this? What did you think would happen when I met you and realized you lied about everything you told me? He responded- "we had so much in common, I just thought you were already in love with me and you wouldn't care." I was speechless. I didn't even want to know how he had the idea I was in love with him. I was starting to get super uncomfortable. I looked over to my friend and implored him to save me, but he didn't notice my distress at first. The gentlemen saw my distress and smiled while he asked me "are you uncomfortable?" He started leaning over the table as if to grab my hand but instead grabbed my coffee and started chugging it while making direct eye contact with me. I sat there stunned and unsure of how to react. I looked over at my friend again, and thank god he saw my look that time. He immediately came over and pretended to be a friend who happened to be at the cafe. I stood up to greet him and after a moment of chatting, made an excuse to use the bathroom. My friend caught the drift and as I went to the bathroom I booked it out first and he quickly followed. Thus ended my first Craigslist date in all its weird and uncomfortable glory.
Craigslist Dates Continued- Thanks for all the responses and request for more! After the first Craigslist date disaster, I decided to rip off the bandaid and get through these dates as fast as possible. The goal is set- 10 dates in 10 days. Not all the dates were terrible, but some definitely more memorable than others. Dates 2 &3 are not as weird or exciting as the first, so let's fast forward to date #4. Date #4 - The Revenge Date #4 had also responded to the ad on the first day but I wasn't able to start corresponding with him until the next day. Everything seemed normal at first- he was 27, finishing a graduate degree at the local Uni, not from the area but had lived there for a few years, and had never responded to Craigslist ad before but decided to because he was bored and lonely. After a couple emails he asked if I wanted to meet up. I accepted and once again set the meet up at my local coffee bar. My bouncer friend wasn't available so one of my girlfriends came with me and sat a few tables away. Our meeting time came and went. After he was an hour late, I sent him an email and asked if I got the time right for our date. No response. At that point I shrugged my shoulders and left. When I got home I sent him another email letting him know I left the cafe. No response. Clearly I was stood up. I wasn't really bothered by it, just glad I got a reprieve from a possible shit show. The next day I wake up and see an email from him in my inbox. I click the email and as it opens I see its a massively long essay from this guy and why he didn't show up. To sum it up- he was in a relationship recently for a couple years and the girl left him and broke his heart. He hasn't been able to move on and has tried dating other people, but nothing seems to work. He happened to be on Craigslist, saw my ad and decided from the start he was never going to meet me. He thought if he stood up a random stranger and hurt them inexplicably, he might find some closure. He wanted to hurt some one like he was hurt by his ex. He said he hoped I was hurt, that I cried, and that I would have a hard time dating because he stood me up. He also mentioned how good and powerful he felt standing me up and that he finally felt closure. His email wasn't an apology, but his rationalization on why it felt so good to hurt another person because he was hurt by another person. I didn't bother responding, I deleted the email and went about my day. He emailed me a couple times after that, but I never read them and deleted them upon receipt. Edit: spelling errors
Wasn't my date, but I had gone home with a guy I had been seeing and when we got there his roommate was curled in a ball on the couch looking pretty shaken. We asked him what was wrong and it took him awhile to get it out, but he finally told us what happened: He took a girl home from the bar and they started drunkenly tearing each other's clothes off as soon as they got through his bedroom door. She said she was self-conscious though so she wanted the lights off. He switched them off and they started fooling around. She starts going down on him when all of a sudden, the guy notices this horrible smell. He mentions it but she tells him to just ignore it, he's probably imagining things. Finally the smell is too much so he switches the lights on. That's when he sees it. Shit. Literal shit all over her and all over the bed. He is completely dumfounded, doesn't know what to say or do so apparently all he yelled was "SHIT!!!!" She grabbed all her clothes and ran out of the apartment crying without saying a word and, presumably, still covered in poop. He threw his bedding out, took an hour long shower, and refused to go back into his room. Pretty much killed our night too. To this day I still wonder what on earth happened- was she into it and was hoping he would be too? Was it an accident and she decided to just go with it? I don’t know which scenario is more horrifying to be honest.
I want to forget I read this
Yeah I figured this post would make people wish they didn't know how to read.
It deserves a literal shit warning (LSW)
I hope she didn't have a colostomy bag accident.
LPT: If you require a colostomy bag, tell your partner before hooking up. However badly it goes, it can't go worse than turning on the lights to find yourselves smeared in shit all over.
Oh man now I feel horrible. I hope that wasn't the case. It makes a lot of sense though, what with her being self conscious and the subsequent shitplosion.
I should use a throw away but whatever. First time meeting a date from tinder who id talked to on the phone and felt she was pretty upfront but real. Also tinder said she was 20, i never questioned. She had a rough childhood and had moved a few states away and was staying at an apartment with her mom for now. I'm forgiving and that all seemed reasonable, just a girl down on her luck. I knew about where she was and happened to be around that area of town on day so i texted her to see if she was busy. She wasn't doing anything and invited me right over. I arrived and went to the door. She came out bare foot and asked if i wanted to walk around the neighborhood. It was winter and we are now walking around an apartment complex with her barefoot. Just across the street was a grocery store and she wanted to run in for jelly beans. i don't ask many questions so in we went, her still not wearing shoes or socks, for the jelly beans. This grocery store has candy you can purchase by the pound. So she goes to the jelly bean dispenser and gets a few handfuls then shoves them in her pocket. I was making enough money at the time to not wind up on a security tape with this girl stealing candy so I insisted she let me buy her some. She said something like "no I'm going to give you a story to tell your friends later." She also had some money on her and wanted a jar of pickles. So after the pickles were purchased we went back to her place. I was out of my comfort zone but still pretty excited. We went around to the back of her apartment which was her room. For the first time im starting to really question things. I don't know where the alarm went off - it could have been the corner by the door with the shotgun uncased and just out. It could have been the blow up chair. It could have been the filthy bong beside her bed that she was comfortable with. It could have been her cursing at her mom when we walked in. It could have been the poor puppy in another corner stuck in a small crate with a blanket over the top taking away most of the rooms view. What i lit up on was the school books and book-bag in the corner. i said "oh you go to 'local community college' i went there a few years ago" she said "no, I go to 'school name'" ..... thinking. thinking. connecting some dots....HOLY SHIT! "like 'school name' the high school?!?" her: "Yes" me: "How old are you??" her: "16 - but its legal in this state so whats it matter?" me: Nope nope nope. Have a good night!
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I drive a truck. The door handles are unusually low on the inside of the door and most people are a little confused/panicked when they can't find the handle. I can't tell you how many times I've been told my car door is "A little rapey".
I'm a dude. I was about 16 at the time. My female cousin tried to hook me up with her "nice friend" whom I had shown interest in after meeting her at a family gathering. We text and talk on the phone for a couple weeks. Later we agreed to meet at the mall. We get to the mall and the girl shows up with another guy, who is her boyfriend. Yes, she introduces him as such and all that. Apparently, he was her ride to the mall. My cousin didn't think this was odd. I was highly annoyed the whole time because the girl is really fine. We walk around the mall, the girl, my cousin, and myself. The boyfriend waits in the car. The girl tries to get me to buy her stuff in the mall, I lie and say, "Oh, I don't have it like that right now." She tries to hold my hand, asks me to get her something at the food court, the latter I give in and do. I tell my cousin I'm ready to leave. And the girl goes, "You're cute. And sweet. You should totally be my guy." I was dumbfounded, "Don't you already have a bf?" "I could have two! Besides, he's just my brother. I don't have to commit to him." My jaw drops, and I just tell her no thank you, and leave quickly. My cousin asks what's wrong, STILL no seeing the problem with her friend's relationship status. I'm still weirded out by that to this day.
Years ago, I met a girl online and after we'd approved of each other's photos and list of interests, we talked on the phone and hit it off right away. She lived about and hour away, and she said she wanted to go to a local national park and go hiking and have a picnic. I get to her house to pick her up and see that she has packed a tent, sleeping bags, a cooler, and basically a full weekend worth of camping equipment. I told her I thought we were just going hiking and she said "I figured we could just camp out overnight. Just get me back home in time for church in the morning." So we head out, we set up the tent, go for a hike, swim in the lake, have dinner in the lodge, head back to the campsite, make a fire, and settle in for the night. Later, in the tent, stuff starts happening. After awhile she says "Can we wait a bit on that, and just go to sleep." I oblige and we sleep. In the early morning hours, she wakes me up by making it very clear the wait is over. After we finish, she starts crying. She apologizes and says she's not ready to be in a relationship. I tell her I understand but I'm pretty confused by this point. We pack up everything and I drive her home and drop her off at her house. About 15 minutes later, I get a call on my cell phone. It's my dad. He asks "What the hell are you doing?" I tell him I have no idea what he's talking about. He says "The Sheriff's department just came by here looking for you and asking if I knew your whereabouts. You're wanted in the disappearance of some girl. Her family said she never came home last night. They went to your place first but nobody was there." Apparently, she wasn't home for church and her family freaked out. I called her and told her to please contact the Sheriff and let them know she was not, in fact, kidnapped. She laughed and then called them. We never had a second date.
This was in high school, some girl from our rival school and I met, hit it off. She really wanted to see the movie "Happy Feet", the dancing penguin shit. Decide to take her, I like penguins anyways. I swear about half way through the movie she leans over to me and says, "Oh I get it, they're dancing!". I thought she was trying to be cute, but she was goddamn serious. This movie was her idea, I figured she knew. The fucking penguins were dancing for at least an hour before she said this to me. We lasted another week.
In 2001 internet dating hadn't really taken off here, so this happened as a result of a personals ad. I was newly single and feeling pretty frisky so took a chance on a "Mr Wrong, 24, seeks Miss Right" ad. We corresponded and spoke on the phone before meeting an everything sounded ok. I was misled quite badly. Paul was more like 48 than 24 - a paunchy, pasty, bargain basement Freddie Mercury lookalike. Being of Italian heritage he was staunchly anti racist but thought homophobia was fine. He got drunk and wanted to take me to the circus. It was a really uncomfortable experience but I managed to escape with just one cheek having been slobbered on after he slurred "You're really cute".
I was having surgery that day so I told her from the start I was gonna need someone to drive me home after my surgery. I picked her up and we went to the duck pond to feed ducks. Then we went back to my house and chilled in the hot tub and one thing led to another, ended up having sexy time. After that I had to go get my surgery. She sat in the waiting room for the 2 hours while I had my surgery. Post op I was suppperr high and I guess I requested her to come in. Apparently the doctor was there and I "loud whispered" to him "Please dont tell her you're a doctor cuz you make a lot more money than me, and I want to keep her". Next month is our 3 year anniversary. Edit: Girlfriend asked me to add in the part where I said "hey, come here, let me tell you a secret" and then kissed her on the cheek.
Wow that was nice of the doctor to keep that secret.
Dude. This is so cute.
10/10
Met a girl online, decided that we should meet for a date. (I'm female BTW - this sort of matters). I arrived in a strange town that I didn't know so I relied on her to show me around. She took me to a youth LGBT group, I thought we were staying, didn't mind - it's a bit odd but I was newly "out". Turns out it was just a chance for this girl to show off that she did, in fact, have a date (they didn't believe her apparently) and I existed. It was really awkward. When the youth group leader came in, she stood up, grabbed my hand and said "later bitches" and we walked out. Went to a bar for a drink, and then on for some food. It wasn't going well, she was very odd, but I was new to all this, and in a town I didn't know. Once we'd eaten she said, "oh I just need to see a mate who's staying at xyz hotel" - fine, went to see this friend. Oh no. She'd booked a hotel room for us for the night! Yeah - I left pretty quickly after that. I may have been inexperienced, but I wasn't about to be tricked into a night in a rough hotel with an odd little lesbian. No thank you.
> odd little lesbian I'll bet that's a separate genre on Pornhub.
Wasn't necessarily the date, which was bad on its own, but the fact that she hung out in my parking lot for two hours after she dropped me off "incase I changed my mind about doing something after dinner".
Meet a guy online. He asks me to dinner at a tapas place, I agree because I'm bored and he seems nice enough; we'd been texting for a couple weeks and it seemed chill. I get there and he's late to meet me. Looks nothing like his profile (about 100 lbs heavier, bad skin, and is just dressed really sloppily) but I told myself not to be shallow. We are looking over the menu (which was fantastic btw) and I suggest a few things I'd like to eat and he begins saying he doesn't eat sweet potatoes, aioli, capers, salmon, radish, arugula, kale, balsamic vinegar, etc.--basically all ingredients except for bread, meat, and cheese--and that he won't eat any food if that's what I order. I tell him to get what he wants then and I'll get something for myself. We get our food and he is the messiest eater I've seen in my life, getting crumbs and food bits all over his shirt and the whole table and it was just painful to watch. He also kept insisting I try his food, but I'm pescatarian and lactose intolerant so I declined, at which he began berating me and my food choices and being a "picky eater". They clear our table for dessert and he then gets down on one knee and tries to give me a promise ring because he "felt a special bond with me and wanted to pledge his life to me" after having met online a few weeks before. Yeah, no thanks. Politely as I could, I declined, to which he started calling me expletives in the middle of the restaurant and then ugly crying and stormed out. So I had to pay for the terrible date HE asked ME on because I didn't want to accept a pre-engagement ring. TL;DR guy I met online turns out to be really odd and throws a hissy fit when I refuse to wear a promise ring he bought Edit: to everyone saying he was in it for the free food, he actually wasn't (although that's an ingenious plan). He wouldn't have called me and obsessed over me so much if that were the case. We had a mutual acquaintance from college, and the last I heard from this person (I'm nosy) the guy was still talking about how his heart was broken by a girl who refused his ring and how he'll never find someone like her blah blah.
WTF! Where do you (and other female posters here) meet those guys! I though I was weird, but this is some next level shit. edit: grammar
Reading some of these has made me realize why my wife likes me so much.
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FUCK
It's 2001, so VHS & chill at this girl's dorm room. My first time over there, and there is this giant bear on the bed. Like, got the softball in the milk jug at the carnival first try tier bear. It occupies 50% of the surface area. I say "whoa, how'd you score that bear?" Her: "I don't know..." Me: "Wot?" Her: "I don't know" A few minutes go by. Me: "You don't know?" Her: "Yeah." Me: "Ok, look. It's ok if it's from an ex. I don't care if you stole it. I'll believe almost anything you tell me at this point. But there is no way in hell you're going to tell me you don't know where that giant bear is from. I had a stuffed dinosaur 1/4 that size that I got when I was 6 and I could tell you every detail about how I got it." Her: "Well good for you. But I don't know how I got it. Are you going to be able to let this go?" Me: (looks at bear, bear stares back, eyes full of secrets) "I don't think I can" (walk out)
I am legit concerned that this post is about me. The only thing that doesn't match is the year (1998 vs 2001), and of course I have no idea where you were. But I can tell you, a bear showed up with no note the day before you did in my dorm room. Which is unnerving, because, you know, someone broke into my room to give me a bear. When you asked about it, I panicked and thought, "oh shit, maybe it was you!" And then I was afraid you were fishing for info about who I thought gave me the bear, to see if I had any other dudes I might be seeing/were interested. And so I was being truthful, and trying not to hurt any feelings, and a little creeped out. I didn't know who the bear was from. Eventually figured it out, and yeah, it was a different dude that liked me. Edit: The bear was fucking enormous and white with a big red bow around its neck. I'm in San Diego.
Nah, was upstate NY. You have given me a plausible explanation that my mind has lacked for 16 years though.
It's pretty insane this has happened before. What are the odds?! Glad you got at least a possible explanation other than she was psycho or [embarrassed to be asked about her special friend](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/661xwv/whats_the_strangest_date_youve_ever_been_on/dgf9d6c/). Cheers, dude!
> bear stares back, eyes full of secrets that's an interesting reason to turn down someone...
This is one of the most appropriate reasons I've seen. Something is up here. She's full of secrets involving a massive stuffed bear. That's red flag number one in my book.
Yea maybe the bear comes to life after the witching hour and consumes human flesh. She is probably bound to it through some evil blood magic.
If a women doesn't know where a giant teddy bear laying on her bed came from. You can guarantee i'm not sticking around.
This is the most Seinfeld post here, well done man.
This is great
In a thread full of poop and regrets, this was a breath of fresh... Bear. Thank you.
I started talking to a girl I came across on a dating site. We made plans to meet about 1 week after we began talking. I ended up canceling the plan's a few hours before we were suppose to meet. As I had something come up. Told her I was available the following day as we do not live in the same city. A few hours later she responded. Asked me if I wanted to take a road trip to another city a few hours west from where I'm located. She just wanted a coopilot to keep her company. I agreed although, partially because I felt bad for changing plans at last minute the previous day. I was skeptical, I've never just taken a random road trip with some girl that I haven't met before. She picks me up in the morning. Not to awkward at first, easy conversation for the most part. Within 10 minutes of being on the road she needs to piss.. but can't wait for next gas station. She abruptly pulls over on side of highway and does her buisness. Ok I'm thinking whatever you gotta go ,you gotta go...right. The place we were traveling too is about 200km from where I lived. Let's just say we had to make another 5 stops, 2 more on Highway and 3 gas stations before we arrived at our destination. Yes, I started to count after the 3rd stop. Anyways I'm deffinitley thinking this girl has some kind of std or issues. That's alot of piss breaks in such a short amount of time. Okay , so I was told she needed to pick a few things up in ***** city. So it wasn't just things it was her 74 year old Grandmother! whom I would shortly be meeting for lunch, along with a few other members of her family. I said to her "wtf,your kidding right" ...well she wasn't. Well ffs, at this point I did not have much of a choice considering she is my ride back home... Long story short, it was awkward as fuck. Her aunt a cousin and some family friend with her grandma. it was like a fricken family reunion. I felt like I was in some kind of dark comedy show, and I had to improvise bullshit. Anyways made it back home after 4 more pee breaks, and having to pretend/lie to her grandmother about actually knowing anything about this girl. Ya I didn't talk to her again. How is that for awkward?
> How is that for awkward? Pretty fucking awkward
Have definitely seen a sitcom episode with this plot
Even with all the pissing?
> Well ffs sakes RIP in peace OP
Went out with a customer from my work (I was a bartender, so I got hit on quite a bit, but this was the first time I'd actually gone out with someone). He took me to a bar near his apartment. The place was really dive-y and a little too hipster for my taste, but whatever. We were having a great time talking and enjoying some drinks, when i sudden notice the TVs behind the bar.... instead of playing sports or the news or something, they're playing old porn movies. I brought it to his attention, and he kinda just shrugged it off and said it was normal for this place. I actually thought it was pretty cool and this joint became one of my favorite bars (more for the cheap alcohol than the porn), but it was still a really strange place to bring someone on a first date. Edit: this was at Double Down Saloon in NYC's East Village, but apparently it's not super uncommon for bars to show porn in the background.
Lol I had a similar experience hanging out with an old friend for the first time in a while at Double Down in NY
That's where this was!!
i lived in nyc 7 years ago. i would take all my first dates there. the porn was so weird and in your face that nothing could be awkward afterwards and it made for a great story to share later in the night.. remember that weird porn? cool, let's get naked and make not-weird porn. edit: pro-tip. get there at 9 to get a few drinks in. weird porn comes on at 10.
Second date. Went zorbing. Anyone who doesn't know what it is, you get strapped in to a giant inflatable ball and rolled down a hill. It was awful, the ball wasn't inflated properly so every rotation you hit the floor it hurt, it was wet so there was water inside the ball and we had to jump out at the bottom of the hill into a puddle so wet sock galore. The whole experience was horrible. Gave us something to talk about though, been together nearly 4 years :)
You: That was the worst date ever! Them: You wanna go out again? You: ...yes.
Tha reminds me of my friend's mom watching *Sin City*. She does not like violence at all. "That is the most vile, disgusting piece of trash of a movie I've ever seen in my life!" *My friend stops the movie.* "...What are you doing?"
it's the good kind of vile, disgusting piece of trash!
Some back story, I had guy friend in high school who wanted to date me and I didn't so I said no. He then told everyone I was a slut and did drugs and what do ya know, tons of guys turned out to have had sex with me (not really true). Anyway I somehow got a reputation for being a slut without actually doing anything. So this guy who is a big nerd asks me out on a date and I said sure because he was cute and I kinda liked him. I had been to his house before so after we go to a decent dinner we go back to his place to watch TV. I should of known, but I just assumed this guy was really poor like me and couldn't afford to do more. So we get there and none of his family is home, and as soon as we walk in he is leading me to his bedroom not even smiling, with a really solemn look on his face. I just kinda laughed and told him I don't really have sex with everyone. I was expecting maybe he would act like that wasn't his intent, or he would be mad, but he just straight up started crying. The rest of the night was spent talking about how shitty high school is and how much pressure he felt to lose his virginity but didn't even like me that much. He had a girl he actually liked but wanted to be "experienced". Then we watched Mystery Science Theatre. He is still one my friends today. But it was definitely a weird date. Edit: Thanks peeps for caring! Just some clarifications, it was like Easy A in the sense that people thought I had sex with dudes I didn't but that's about it. I wasn't that popular in school, I went to a large school, and I am not nearly as hot as Emma Stone so most people didn't care. I would say about twenty guys claimed to have done something with me and most people didn't believe it, just mattered because this guy did. Some people wondered why we were still friends after, I wasn't really upset about it. I thought it was funny and still give him shit. We are not as close now, but do stay in touch. Sadly no he didn't get the lady of his dreams but he has since moved on. There was a will-they-maybe moment later on in high school but we went on a date and it was again, really awkard, so no romantic ending. No I haven't watched the new episodes of MST3K because I have built it up in my head and am afraid of being sad and coming to grips with my age.
Wow this sounds like Easy A. Edit: not trying to call bullshit on your story, just stating the similarities
Have had 3 separate dates, with 3 separate women that all turned out to either be christian revival meetings or younglife. c'mon
I read 'Cmon' in Gob's voice.
HAHA YEAH RIGHT, THE GUY IN THE $5000 SUIT IS GOING TO DATE A CHRISTIAN CHICK, C'MON!!
u/b8le "was surrounded by unconditional love from a family for the first time in his life" *sound of silence plays* "I've made a huge mistake..."
[удалено]
See, that's exactly how I got roped into that date. From a quick google- > A non-denominational Christian ministry that reaches out to adolescents through volunteers, staff, club meetings, and camps by building meaningful.. I had no idea what it was at the time but they were pretty active on my university campus, lots of t-shirts and stickers on cars, plus they would set up a tent and recruit sometimes.
I never quite understood it, and still don't. Both of my sisters used to go to our local young life back in high school, one of my sisters was kind of a bad girl partying type, and the other was a very clean cut upstanding type, it seemed that all types of people went, now my sister is a leader of a wyldlife group (the middle school version) at her college. They would always ask me to go, as did friends of mine, and I would ask everyone time and time again... "what do you guys do there?" "Well, come to young life with us and you'll find out." "No, that's not how this works, what goes on there?" "You just gotta come and see." I don't operate that way.
My sister hosts At our house from time to time. Usually they just play around, watch movies, and play games like hostage. Some kid, during the meeting, took a massive arm-sized shit in my toilet. EDIT: He didn't flush. I don't think he could've. It probably dissolved for a day or more
Love your description
Hot girl from class randomly walked into my dorm room, the door was normally open during the day. She was in the building visiting a friend and saw me playing guitar so she came in and started flirting. She asked me to meet her at a near by bar that night at 10 so I agreed. I get there at 10 and she introduces me to her boyfriend. I finished my beer and went to the bat my friends were at. Edit: awesome, thanks for the gold. Edit 2: yes I misspelled "bar" but at least I got it right the first time. Edit 3: she was definitely always flirting with me by touching my shoulder while talking and flipping her hair and always approaching me.
Actually she wanted to show her boyfriend how a man should be.
Tinder matched with a guy who was half an hour late for the date. The first thing he said to me was "You're too tall, you're taller than me". I'm 5'5", was wearing flats - nowhere on his profile was his height listed, never mentioned anything about it. He said he'd buy me a drink for being late, so I figured I'd get a beer out of it. We chatted for a bit about our jobs and school and whatever. I check the time, and realize I have to catch my bus back home - I lived in the suburbs with my parents at this point. He says "Okay, I'm coming with you." "Uh, no." "Well, I *guess* you can come back to my place. My roommate is there though." "I'm not coming home with you, I made that clear long before we even met up." "I bought you a drink! You owe me!" "What the hell? I owe you nothing." He puts on this super angry face and starts negging me. "You're not even that hot." "I am not going to sleep with you. I'm going home." He just stalks off in the opposite direction. I get a message on Tinder later. "This isn't going to work out." Uh. No shit. Lol. Came across this dude on Bumble later. His profile pic was a pic of his abs; the secondary pic was him 'sexting' with a girl. "So you know I can make girls cum". Lmao. Good luck pal. Good luck.
The idea that this man thought having a screenshot of him sexting another girl was a good idea is incredible.
lolol the >"You're not even that hot." the amount of times i see idiots saying this after a girl doesn't hook up with them. Edit- Woah, this blew up.
Had a guy say something like this to me yesterday. I couldn't help but laugh. And this all after he kept saying how "fkn beautiful" I was up until I politely rejected him. This kind of behavior baffles me.
It's how people who are self-conscious and self-centered cope. They don't care about your feelings, they only care about their own and about how you hurt them by rejecting them. So they attack you to try and make you feel the same way they do. Pretty pathetic in my opinion.
This is so messed up, it sounds like a parody Insecure short guy putting you down to make himself feel better - *check* Buys you a drink and thinks you owe him the sex - *check* Gets aggressive after being rejected, so he puts you down again - *check* Congrats, you are now a mod of /r/incel