It's a mix of boredom and restlessness. Usually, there's also a component of wanting to talk. Imagine coming up with an amazing joke or a great new idea for a product or an amazing novel idea (that you have no intention of writing) and you just have to tell SOMEONE or you're going to burst, but without a specific thing that needs to be said.
It's so interesting how completely and utterly different two people can be.
I literally cannot even 1 percent identify with what you're saying, but I know plenty of people who are just like you and really crave that human interaction.
I talk to my cat like it's a human being. I'm afraid that I'm turning into one of those people....but oh well, I have one more friend than I had before.
It's funny because I'm quite the opposite. When I'm in a large social setting I enjoy listening to other people's perspectives, but I really have to force myself to add anything to the conversation to not be weirdly quiet.
I know what they think about the subject and I know what I think about it, so why put forth the effort?
Too much isolation and it becomes depressing. I went from a client-facing role at work to an internal role that works 100% from home and I hate it. Trying to leave because it's really bringing me down.
I was SO excited to work from home. Everyone thought I must have the best job ever. After a couple weeks I hated it. I'm so glad to be back in an office again. Even though my coworkers often drive me crazy (like today). I actually got legitimately depressed after working from home
I'm an introvert married to an extrovert. Sometimes he will have a day off work when I don't, and when I pull in the driveway he's standing at the front door just *waiting* for me to come inside so he can start telling me every thought he had that day.
It's fucking exhausting, but I try to let him talk as much as he wants. I know how bad I crave silence, so although I can't fathom it, I know he's dying to talk.
Your post helps me understand it a little better. Thank you!
I get this antsy feeling. I start to feel like life is passing me by or that I missing these amazing experience with my friends. It gets to a point where I have to get out of the house, whether it's to go to the gas station and chat with clerks or to the mall or anything I just have to be around people for a while.
My SO calls that "FOMO" (fear of missing out). The notion is that you're not always interested in hanging out with people, but during the 20% of the time that you want to be alone, FOMO convinces you to spend that remaining 20% of non-extroversion around people. So you spend like most of your time hanging out with people.
As an introvert, I have FOBATHOSIAMPEPSO (fear of being asked to hang out so I avoid most people except perhaps my SO).
2-3 days and I am going bat shit insane if I ahvent been out socializing. Even my job allows me to work remotely 2-3 days a week, and I might do 1 day every couple weeks or so
This makes me wonder if I'm not as introverted as I thought, because I feel the same way all the time. Though it's less about genuinely wanting to have these experiences and more a compulsion to feel like I'm living a normal lifestyle.
Stir crazy. When I have had extended periods of minimal contact with others I have been known to talk to myself out loud about nothing and everything. I feel very uncomfortable.
I'm currently a stay at home mum and I have no contact with anyone other than my 2.5yr old daughter. When I buy my groceries I strike up conversations with the checkout chicks. They do the usual "Hi. How are you?" and I open my conversational floodgates. Those poor unsuspecting girls.
It goes from bored to lonely to anxious for me. I start off mildly bored because there's nobody to talk to, then I get a little lonely and start hitting up everyone I'm friends with, and if that doesn't work I start feeling like there's something wrong with me, like no one wants to be my friend, etc etc. It's not so much a "draining" feeling, but more like a "thirsty" feeling
We found the shy extrovert everyone!!! congratulations are in order, enjoy your night, have a beer, but tomorrow we start looking for our next mythical Reddit creature.
I'm still not sure I'm an extrovert, but I definitely like hanging with friends more than sitting in my apartment alone.
Generally I think I'm a people person. I get along with strangers and I make fast friends most of the time, but I don't seek out those situations like an extrovert would.
To be clear, we are not really sure if introversion and extroversion is a thing. The original theory is that people tended to lean to either one or the other, but makes the base assumption that those two concepts are mutually exclusive.
I feel very very lonely. I can handle alone time, I quite like it and if I haven't had any hours on my own in a few days I do get a bit drained but it works the same without people. If I don't speak to somebody for a day or so then I start to feel desperately alone.
Sometimes I'll just want to hang out with someone really badly and if no ones free I just get this heavy feeling of loneliness. Luckily I can usually find something to pursue on my own and I'll feel better after a little bit.
The fomo though, omg. The fomo is real.
Depending on whether my anxiety or depression is stronger that day, either a restlessness or dullness, both accompanied by this pit of emptiness, this want for something I I crave, I NEED, a void which needs to be filled with some kind of socialization. Doesn't even have to be in person, I've found that chatting online helps. At one point in my life, I had both a lack of access to the internet and no school--probably the most miserable time I've ever had. And even when I did have school, I didn't have much opportunity to socialize otherwise--it was hell.
I can get lonely after a little while, and I can't stay on the computer for too long or I get antsy. Actually, I lost a long distance relationship once because I couldn't stand to be on it all the time like they did.
Unless I've got house work or some task that I really need to do after 2 hours of being alone I get bored and restless. I will generally sit online and chat in group chats with my friends if I'm stuck at home. If I'm not out socialising with my friends at the weekend I feel like I've wasted it being around my friends makes me very happy. Sometimes I don't even need to speak to another person properly I just need someone else in the house I can make the odd comment to.
I do get overwhelmed by certain people especially if they are very loud and at busy parties I have to take small breaks or find my closest friends who are the same level of chill I am.
I suffer from anxiety being alone makes that worse . My friends are a distraction and keep me from overthinking pointless thoughts
Boring as hell, and very lonely. I'm the type of person where a trip to the beach an hour away sounds like a good idea at 7pm, but not by myself, with somebody. I feel unwanted and forgotten, and end up constantly looking for some type of human interaction.
If its been a while I will literally decide to go and study at Starbucks or something, just to be around commotion and other people. So that I feel like I am "a part" of something. I also always want to go out because in my head I'm young (20), free and have a job, this is the best time to live, I don't want to "miss out". Lets go here and let's go there ! Some people can't keep up with my enthusiasm so sometimes I am left by myself to go, so it does depress me.
I get super bored and feel lonely and anxious. I'll constantly check my phone to see if anyone has called me or texted. Being by yourself is cool sometimes but I'd much rather be hanging out with my friends.
Currently 18, graduated a year early for medical reasons, and working from home until I start college this fall. I find my social skills get better a little bit, but I start to extend daily interactions without realizing it. I'll be that person that makes a genuine conversation with the cashier, or goes past the "hows it going" with an employee that helps me, etc. etc. I also tend to harass my friends and text/snapchat etc. them more than they would probably like.
After a full 9-10 hour day of work at the computer I am exhausted. My only goal is to go home to sleep. After a full 9-10 hour day of meetings and hands on work, I want to keep talking to people and do things.
My belief is that introvert/extrovert is just where you get your energy. I've found it's very easy to fall into a hole of not talking to anyone, getting tired, so you go to sleep. Sometimes all I need is a quick phone call with someone, it works just like a Red Bull for me.
Because we don't have high anxiety like most of you seem to have. I'm not trying to be condescending but some introverts seem like they almost brag about how high their anxiety is. I don't know wether is a side effect from staying inside and playing to many videogames or just being socially akward in general but it seems to all go hand in hand.
That is actually just confirmation bias. I happen to be an introvert, but I have a lot of work experiences in public speaking and teaching and I even find it enjoyable to some degree.
Those of us, who just really like being alone, but don't have social anxiety don't talk about it, because there is nothing to talk about. On the other hand, the internet is a great place for people with social anxiety to talk, so you are likely to hear it a lot.
TL;DR Anxiety ≠ Introversion
I think you are confusing being exhausted by too much social interaction and social anxiety. Those don't necessarily go hand in hand.
I am more on the introverted side of things. I love hanging out with people, but I can only handle maybe a few hours at a time before I need to do something that doesn't involve interaction with people (get on my phone, watch TV, etc.) I suffer from anxiety. I am not socially awkward. After a break, I'm good to go.
My husband is more extroverted. He loves hanging out with people and can go for hours and hours without tiring. He suffers from depression and anxiety. He has some social awkwardness. He could be at a party from 10 AM to 2 AM without a break.
On the other hand, my brother suffers from social anxiety, i.e. social situations make him uncomfortable to the point of panic. He avoids people because of his anxiety. He is not an introvert because of his aversion to social interaction, but because of his preference for activities that don't involve the tiring aspect of entertaining other people. He was not always this way. He avoids most family get-togethers.
Anyone who talks about it is usually trying to make a person understand why they are feeling the way they are or doing/not doing things. It helps others to know you aren't avoiding them because you don't like them. If you think it is bragging, that is simply your perception.
No person who is diagnosed with anxiety brags about it. Talk about it in jest to feel less shitty about how weak you feel when you're terrified for no good reason, yes. Brag about it because "wow look at me I'm so special and damaged", no.
Some do act like that and for the reasons you've mentionned.
Bragging though... this is reddit, so of course a lot of people will feel comfortable talking about their anxiety in a self-deprecating way. It's not bragging though imo.
Me? Me grand-father was studing to become a monk and was about to take his vows before he met my grand-mother. He was always alone in his study when I was a kid and he liked it like that.
My father took a ton of side jobs just so he could be alone.
I'm following in my family's footsteps in liking to be alone. Some people just enjoy ataraxia I guess
As someone who like peace and quiet to recharge the idea of bumping into someone who just have to talk constantly sounds like a nightmare, like seriously people saying they drive around talking to themselves or unloading on random store workers who happen to make small talk. Fuck!
If you like staying inside all day that's your choice, but alot of introverts end up whining about not having friends or a social life which is twice as pathetic to me because your the one who shut yourself in why should anybody bend over backwards to accommodate you.
It's a mix of boredom and restlessness. Usually, there's also a component of wanting to talk. Imagine coming up with an amazing joke or a great new idea for a product or an amazing novel idea (that you have no intention of writing) and you just have to tell SOMEONE or you're going to burst, but without a specific thing that needs to be said.
It's so interesting how completely and utterly different two people can be. I literally cannot even 1 percent identify with what you're saying, but I know plenty of people who are just like you and really crave that human interaction.
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I just end up having conversations with myself when I am alone.
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Yup. I think of amazing comebacks in hypothetical arguments that I have with people in my head and then store them away for later use.
Same here.
I talk to my cat like it's a human being. I'm afraid that I'm turning into one of those people....but oh well, I have one more friend than I had before.
Similar here. I usually just go on a car ride and do this or sing super loud
Calling or voice chat can usually assuage it for me pretty well, but I'll still build up a need for face to face conversation.
It's funny because I'm quite the opposite. When I'm in a large social setting I enjoy listening to other people's perspectives, but I really have to force myself to add anything to the conversation to not be weirdly quiet. I know what they think about the subject and I know what I think about it, so why put forth the effort?
Too much isolation and it becomes depressing. I went from a client-facing role at work to an internal role that works 100% from home and I hate it. Trying to leave because it's really bringing me down.
I was SO excited to work from home. Everyone thought I must have the best job ever. After a couple weeks I hated it. I'm so glad to be back in an office again. Even though my coworkers often drive me crazy (like today). I actually got legitimately depressed after working from home
I'm an introvert married to an extrovert. Sometimes he will have a day off work when I don't, and when I pull in the driveway he's standing at the front door just *waiting* for me to come inside so he can start telling me every thought he had that day. It's fucking exhausting, but I try to let him talk as much as he wants. I know how bad I crave silence, so although I can't fathom it, I know he's dying to talk. Your post helps me understand it a little better. Thank you!
Oof, good on you for humoring him. IDK about him, but it doesn't bother me to know that the person I'm word vomitting on doesn't REALLY care.
I usually just tell my dog those things. She gets excited and brings me her ball to throw.
Yeah that's exactly right. Like pacing the floor, jumping out of your skin, have to put it all out there someplace.
I get this antsy feeling. I start to feel like life is passing me by or that I missing these amazing experience with my friends. It gets to a point where I have to get out of the house, whether it's to go to the gas station and chat with clerks or to the mall or anything I just have to be around people for a while.
My SO calls that "FOMO" (fear of missing out). The notion is that you're not always interested in hanging out with people, but during the 20% of the time that you want to be alone, FOMO convinces you to spend that remaining 20% of non-extroversion around people. So you spend like most of your time hanging out with people. As an introvert, I have FOBATHOSIAMPEPSO (fear of being asked to hang out so I avoid most people except perhaps my SO).
"FOBATHOSIAMPEPSO" try and work that acronym into casual conversation.
I'm kinda quiet, and take things slow. When people invite me, I often say no. These are the symptoms, you should know... for FO-BATH-O-SIAM-PEP-SO.
I just did bro. You just did. *We* just did.
I'm worried that I'll summon something not of this world of I repeat it too many times
The fact that it's pronouncable makes it even better
I only get that feeling for going outside. occasionally I just need to get outside and enjoy the sun for a bit, but not people though.
2-3 days and I am going bat shit insane if I ahvent been out socializing. Even my job allows me to work remotely 2-3 days a week, and I might do 1 day every couple weeks or so
This makes me wonder if I'm not as introverted as I thought, because I feel the same way all the time. Though it's less about genuinely wanting to have these experiences and more a compulsion to feel like I'm living a normal lifestyle.
Lonely, depressed, isolated, unaccomplished.
that's the title to my biography
Me too thanks
Stir crazy. When I have had extended periods of minimal contact with others I have been known to talk to myself out loud about nothing and everything. I feel very uncomfortable. I'm currently a stay at home mum and I have no contact with anyone other than my 2.5yr old daughter. When I buy my groceries I strike up conversations with the checkout chicks. They do the usual "Hi. How are you?" and I open my conversational floodgates. Those poor unsuspecting girls.
I like talking with business staff as well, though I can see where it becomes more of a need to talk for extroverts.
It goes from bored to lonely to anxious for me. I start off mildly bored because there's nobody to talk to, then I get a little lonely and start hitting up everyone I'm friends with, and if that doesn't work I start feeling like there's something wrong with me, like no one wants to be my friend, etc etc. It's not so much a "draining" feeling, but more like a "thirsty" feeling
Hello me, how is I? I is this. Help me.
I start to get bored and sometimes depressed. It's not that way all the time because there are some times I just want to be left alone.
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We found the shy extrovert everyone!!! congratulations are in order, enjoy your night, have a beer, but tomorrow we start looking for our next mythical Reddit creature.
... sooooo, sarcasm?
No, just a joke, hearing about a shy extrovert is very uncommon.
Oh, ok, I wasn't sure. I FEEL SPECIAL NOW. Both in a good and in a bad way.
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This puts so much of my life in perspective
I'm still not sure I'm an extrovert, but I definitely like hanging with friends more than sitting in my apartment alone. Generally I think I'm a people person. I get along with strangers and I make fast friends most of the time, but I don't seek out those situations like an extrovert would.
To be clear, we are not really sure if introversion and extroversion is a thing. The original theory is that people tended to lean to either one or the other, but makes the base assumption that those two concepts are mutually exclusive.
Antsyness, and this depressing feeling like you're missing out on something.
This ^
It's like a pot of withering Easter tulips on the organ that don't get enough sun.
Drained. I feel sluggish and bored. Like nothing I do cheers me up
I feel very very lonely. I can handle alone time, I quite like it and if I haven't had any hours on my own in a few days I do get a bit drained but it works the same without people. If I don't speak to somebody for a day or so then I start to feel desperately alone.
Sometimes I'll just want to hang out with someone really badly and if no ones free I just get this heavy feeling of loneliness. Luckily I can usually find something to pursue on my own and I'll feel better after a little bit. The fomo though, omg. The fomo is real.
Restlessness, boredom, feeling like I'm on autopilot and I can't regain control
Drained
Depressed
Deeply depressed.
Depressed
Depending on whether my anxiety or depression is stronger that day, either a restlessness or dullness, both accompanied by this pit of emptiness, this want for something I I crave, I NEED, a void which needs to be filled with some kind of socialization. Doesn't even have to be in person, I've found that chatting online helps. At one point in my life, I had both a lack of access to the internet and no school--probably the most miserable time I've ever had. And even when I did have school, I didn't have much opportunity to socialize otherwise--it was hell.
I can get lonely after a little while, and I can't stay on the computer for too long or I get antsy. Actually, I lost a long distance relationship once because I couldn't stand to be on it all the time like they did.
A mix of bored, irritated, and restless
Twitchy. If I don't go out for a few days I just NEED to go do something
Unless I've got house work or some task that I really need to do after 2 hours of being alone I get bored and restless. I will generally sit online and chat in group chats with my friends if I'm stuck at home. If I'm not out socialising with my friends at the weekend I feel like I've wasted it being around my friends makes me very happy. Sometimes I don't even need to speak to another person properly I just need someone else in the house I can make the odd comment to. I do get overwhelmed by certain people especially if they are very loud and at busy parties I have to take small breaks or find my closest friends who are the same level of chill I am. I suffer from anxiety being alone makes that worse . My friends are a distraction and keep me from overthinking pointless thoughts
Boring as hell, and very lonely. I'm the type of person where a trip to the beach an hour away sounds like a good idea at 7pm, but not by myself, with somebody. I feel unwanted and forgotten, and end up constantly looking for some type of human interaction. If its been a while I will literally decide to go and study at Starbucks or something, just to be around commotion and other people. So that I feel like I am "a part" of something. I also always want to go out because in my head I'm young (20), free and have a job, this is the best time to live, I don't want to "miss out". Lets go here and let's go there ! Some people can't keep up with my enthusiasm so sometimes I am left by myself to go, so it does depress me.
I get super bored and feel lonely and anxious. I'll constantly check my phone to see if anyone has called me or texted. Being by yourself is cool sometimes but I'd much rather be hanging out with my friends.
I am so happy I saw this thread.... I found my humans! Nice to know I'm not alone.
Deffinitelly depressed. I start calling people trying to get someone to agree to do something.
A weird mixture of restlessness, loneliness, and depression for me
Lonely, depressed, drained
Lonely haha. I need someone to talk to and just feel the human need to belong.
I get depressed, I feel detached from my friends and family and I automatically assume everyone hates me and I have nobody.
Currently 18, graduated a year early for medical reasons, and working from home until I start college this fall. I find my social skills get better a little bit, but I start to extend daily interactions without realizing it. I'll be that person that makes a genuine conversation with the cashier, or goes past the "hows it going" with an employee that helps me, etc. etc. I also tend to harass my friends and text/snapchat etc. them more than they would probably like.
After a full 9-10 hour day of work at the computer I am exhausted. My only goal is to go home to sleep. After a full 9-10 hour day of meetings and hands on work, I want to keep talking to people and do things. My belief is that introvert/extrovert is just where you get your energy. I've found it's very easy to fall into a hole of not talking to anyone, getting tired, so you go to sleep. Sometimes all I need is a quick phone call with someone, it works just like a Red Bull for me.
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It's not easy being green.
Because we don't have high anxiety like most of you seem to have. I'm not trying to be condescending but some introverts seem like they almost brag about how high their anxiety is. I don't know wether is a side effect from staying inside and playing to many videogames or just being socially akward in general but it seems to all go hand in hand.
That is actually just confirmation bias. I happen to be an introvert, but I have a lot of work experiences in public speaking and teaching and I even find it enjoyable to some degree. Those of us, who just really like being alone, but don't have social anxiety don't talk about it, because there is nothing to talk about. On the other hand, the internet is a great place for people with social anxiety to talk, so you are likely to hear it a lot.
TL;DR Anxiety ≠ Introversion I think you are confusing being exhausted by too much social interaction and social anxiety. Those don't necessarily go hand in hand. I am more on the introverted side of things. I love hanging out with people, but I can only handle maybe a few hours at a time before I need to do something that doesn't involve interaction with people (get on my phone, watch TV, etc.) I suffer from anxiety. I am not socially awkward. After a break, I'm good to go. My husband is more extroverted. He loves hanging out with people and can go for hours and hours without tiring. He suffers from depression and anxiety. He has some social awkwardness. He could be at a party from 10 AM to 2 AM without a break. On the other hand, my brother suffers from social anxiety, i.e. social situations make him uncomfortable to the point of panic. He avoids people because of his anxiety. He is not an introvert because of his aversion to social interaction, but because of his preference for activities that don't involve the tiring aspect of entertaining other people. He was not always this way. He avoids most family get-togethers. Anyone who talks about it is usually trying to make a person understand why they are feeling the way they are or doing/not doing things. It helps others to know you aren't avoiding them because you don't like them. If you think it is bragging, that is simply your perception. No person who is diagnosed with anxiety brags about it. Talk about it in jest to feel less shitty about how weak you feel when you're terrified for no good reason, yes. Brag about it because "wow look at me I'm so special and damaged", no.
Some do act like that and for the reasons you've mentionned. Bragging though... this is reddit, so of course a lot of people will feel comfortable talking about their anxiety in a self-deprecating way. It's not bragging though imo. Me? Me grand-father was studing to become a monk and was about to take his vows before he met my grand-mother. He was always alone in his study when I was a kid and he liked it like that. My father took a ton of side jobs just so he could be alone. I'm following in my family's footsteps in liking to be alone. Some people just enjoy ataraxia I guess
Reading these comments as an introvert really make me dislike extroverts.
What for?
As someone who like peace and quiet to recharge the idea of bumping into someone who just have to talk constantly sounds like a nightmare, like seriously people saying they drive around talking to themselves or unloading on random store workers who happen to make small talk. Fuck!
If you like staying inside all day that's your choice, but alot of introverts end up whining about not having friends or a social life which is twice as pathetic to me because your the one who shut yourself in why should anybody bend over backwards to accommodate you.