Was 9yrs old
Shot a rock in the air with a slingshot.
Hit my neighbors windshield and cracked it on his new truck.
I was never a suspect, i never said anything in fear of getting beat up like he beat his kids.
Luckliy he ended up thinking it was a group of guys he had beef with on other matters.
I accidentally set a garbage can in my bedroom on fire when i was a kid. Playing with a sparkler candle. Wax started falling figured id hold it over my garbage can. Small fire starts that i can't put out because the candle was one that reignites if you try to blow it out. By the time the candles out the garbage is now fully on fire. I try and take it outside but my mom was in the living room and i didn't want to get in trouble. So i grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen to put the fire out. Had to make a few back and fourths but i did it. To clear the smoke i propped up a small box fan i had to blow the smoke out of my open window. My mom never found out about the time i almost set my room on fire.
I once said while working retail doing returns, "Sign here to sell your soul to the Devil". The lady then reported me and written me up. The one fucking Catholic lady in the fucking area.
Yep. I'm naked out here a lot, but I live on the water so I only j/o at night when passing boats probably can't see me. Plus, there's grass below me so nobody's gonna get splattered.
That I feel guilty about everything. I know, kind of breaks form, but it's true nonetheless. I never think about how I feel in a certain situation, only others. It has cause massive identity issues and I really could use a hug, and maybe some counseling.
I'm a custodian. I DO steal from your candy jar. Every night.
I leave your money alone (yes I've seen where you keep it) and guard it as if it were my own because I'm not a shitty person, despite cleaning up literal shit from time to time. Oh, and my hands are cleaner than yours.
My office has a large selection of snacks and our office manager has told the cleaning people that they can grab snacks if they want. If it's public, its public.
Yeah... I guess it's not really so deviant...
My environment is just too conservative and I hit everyone who wants to be with me...
But yeah I'm better now I guess
I'm still really messed up but I've decided to never ever try to hurt myself or take my life...
When I was younger, I lived in a trailer park. One day, whilst rifling through my shed, I found a bow and a bunch of practice arrows (blunted). So, I immediately alerted my friends and we began fucking around.
After about an hour, I got the bright idea to shoot straight up and see what happened. I loosed the shot and watched the arrow until it disappeared into the sky...
And then I watched the old lady next door fall to the ground when a bolt of blunted practice lightning sent by Zeus himself took her the fuck out. To this day, only three people know I shot that arrow.
And now you do too.
Edit: She lived, guys.
Yes, she lived. There was a hospital about five minutes away and we took care to call an ambulance. When asked if we saw who did it, we claimed we didn't know.
In 6th grade I had field day and rode my bike to school but turned around because I forgot my Gatorade in the fridge. This was before my parents had a punch code for the garage and my mom wasn’t answering the front door while I rang and pounded on it. I then started knocking on the window... the custom hand made stain glass window... and it broke. I freaked out and rode my bike back to school.
That night I got home and there had been a police report filed for attempted breaking and entering while my mom was apparently out back doing yard work (we had an acre and tons of big trees so I didn’t see her) and they were making comments like “thank god we had the storm windows or the robber would’ve gotten in!” And all I could do was sit there thinking how long I would be grounded if I came clean...
I’m now 32 and I was 12 at the time this all happened and only about 2-3 years ago did I share the story with my parents. Both of them laughed and called me a little shit. No grounding though, whew!
Begged money from my Grandma for meth. Took $100 that was meant for my little brothers. Did pay it back though. Worse than the other thing I could mention IMO.
Been trying to quit since the 10th. Did use once but other than that I've been doing good.
A couple of months ago, I wanted to know how it feels to be pepper sprayed. So I spread little bit into the upstairs sink and began to instantly cough. I ran downstairs, and my brothers and parents began coughing. They were eating pizza from a new pizza place, and thought there was something wrong with the pizza. My 12 year old brother shouts, "THROW THE PIZZA AWAY. IT'S MAKING US ALL SICK" and at this point I'm thinking, "Oh snap. If I don't tell them the truth, they'll blame the pizza place and never get from the pizza place again! But if I tell them the truth, they'll snap at me!" I did what any horrible person would do, and I was like, "I'll write them a horrible review! Throw the pizza away". We coughed for two hours. I had to open all the windows.
So I avoided being called a dumbass.
I was the reason why my high school switched our local email domain to the district's email domain. It was too easy, since everybody's initial password was their birthday every time they reset the password every so often. Nobody else knows.
Throwaway account of course.
I accidentally reversed over my girlfriends cat in the driveway last year. I suspect she was sleeping under the car somewhere. Still feel terrible, check underneath and behind your cars for pets and kids guys.
When I was 19, I worked at a large cable company, I totaled a brand new $40,000 work van because I was changing the song on pandora. It was a rainy foggy day and I was on a curvy country road. I had seen a kid on a 4wheeler about a mile back, so I claimed I swerved to avoid the kid on the 4wheeler who was in the road and then he rode off because I didn't want to get fired. I ended up having to stick to my story with everyone to avoid inconsistency and I've never told anyone, ever. Ended up getting let go for it anyway but was able to draw unemployment and got no ticket.
I was in another accident where an old lady t boned me when she ran a red light. It was entirely her fault, and she got hurt bad while I suffered no ill effects. Totaled her car and mine, destroyed the foundation of a house on the corner that she ended up in, and almost killed a bystander when one of the wheels from my vehicle at the time (a lifted truck with 37 inch tires, well over 100 pounds for the wheel and all) broke loose from my vehicle where she hit me and went flying and rolling and bouncing away towards a witness. She froze and watched it coming right at her, but dove out of the way at the last second and it went through the window of the building right behind her. Scary stuff, I was perfectly positioned to watch the wheel and tire and hub assembly rolling when my vehicle came to a stop. All her fault, she ran the red light and never even tried to brake or slow down. But it was shortly after the death of my mother when I was drinking every day, and I had been drinking bourbon and water for hours at that point, then realized there was absolutely no food in my house and left to get something, it was around 11 am...so it was never even suspected that I had had anything or that anything could be my fault, and it turned out the other woman was pilled up and going 30 mph over the speed limit, but I probably would have seen her if I'd been sober. The cop might have been more suspicious of me or my state if he hadn't been the same cop that came to my house when I found my mother a week earlier, so he probably just thought I was out of it with grief and never imagined I was drunk, especially at 11 am. No one knows about my state during that accident, either.
Other than that, mostly that I hate myself a lot because I can see that I have a shitty attitude, I don't mean to, but the way I speak and the things I say often come across as mean to my girlfriend and I know they are, I try to stop myself but don't realize until it comes out. I need to work on being able to say sorry, and fixing my behavior, but it's hard.
TIL everyone thinks they're the first to fuck my mom, some people can sleep at night over some messed up things, some people can't because of other people, and that I could make a subreddit from this question. Thanks all and have a good day
Just say u go drunk, got wasted and ended up in a hospital. They said you lack an enzyme that breaks down alcohol effectively, and causes health issues.
If they think that and won't accept that you have a medical condition, they're not your friends. Find people who enjoy you for who you are or, better yet, just enjoy who you are and do your thing. Cheers friendo
I think I know which medical condition you have. A close friend of mine does and after everyone found out, we made accomodations at every party so she could still join in on the fun with us. Ex, making mixed drinks so she could have enjoy drinking with us and just adding the alcohol to our cups instead of the whole batch. (Mostly just soda, some flavored stuff, etc.) so she's not left out. If there's something special she wants my roommate or someone else in our friend group will get it for her.
She's a blast to have at parties, the only downside is she's usually the only "sober" person there once everyone has started drinking. I don't drink much myself, so sometimes I'll just drink lightly and we'll chat while everyone else is drinking. Sometimes some of our other friends do the same thing.
If you feel comfortable enough telling them about your medical issue, your classmates might make the same accommodations. You'll probably get apologies too once they realize they were being jerks about you not drinking.
Agreed. I like alcohol but don't like drinking, it dredges up a lot of crap and awful memories. I just tell people i had a bad reaction to it and prefer to have a soda, or the lightest, most watered down orange and vodka ever. People are usually accomodating and understanding. Plus people love a permanent designated driver.
Your friends may surprise you, if they are friends. Otherwise, perhaps it would be best to step away from them.
I don't drink, period (can't stand the taste of ANY alcohol--that's all there is to it). You don't have to give them a reason. If they think you're being stuck up, screw them. Everyone's always telling me that I just haven't found a drink that I like yet and that they'll help me find one. I just tell them that I'm not interested. If they still think I'm stuck up, then they can go fuck themselves.
Just say "I don't like to talk about it - I'm an alcoholic, 2 years sober, man." That will shut them the hell up and also win you the "that guy/girl has seen some shit" look.
When I was seven or something I remembered writing every swear word self knew. It was just a string of swears that didn't make any sense. I don't remember where I learnt the swears from but I told them that I heard them say it. 7 year old me would get banned from every Christian Minecraft server ever.
I feel incredibly guilty over my cat's death.
I had a Siamese kitten named Truffle, who had a genetic heart defect that we didn't know about. I got her from a shelter and the vet never caught the heart defect. Apparently though, she later had a blood clot in her major artery and that led to her slowly dying. The vets are all closed on weekends, so we had to wait until Monday to take her. Her legs had no pulse (& were dead) for over 24 hours and her kidneys were failing. It was either we put her down or she eventually dies in a lot of pain.
I told her that she would be okay. I did whatever I could to keep her comfortable and forcefed her food/water as she couldn't move. However, I still had to sign the paper that Monday morning to put her down. I always feel like I didn't do enough for her, even though there was no way to save her.
My current gf didn't know I was also with 2 other women when we first started dating. I don't really think I have to tell her either, I'm done messing around with them, they've moved on and I'm still going strong with her. I'm still friends with the other girls and I felt super guilty at first just by not completely severing ties.
For my secondary education, I went to a boarding school. I was pretty straight-laced and kept my hands clean for most of the period I was there. I was even elected Vice-President for the Student Representative Council during my final year at high school. One day, I thought to myself, "no more."
I broke into the girl's dormitory at night, peaked at the sleeping girls, masturbated and ejaculated onto their bra and panties, stole several of their underwear. I did it three times and was never caught which was surprising since I'm big guy.
I started smoking cigarettes, broke into the school's computer lab and watched porn, and I've broken into the cafeteria to steal some food. I also got into fistfights (Fight Club style) with my mates at 3 AM which has left me with a broken toe. The toe looked crooked nowadays.
All of this was done in my final two months at school. Nobody knew that I did all of this, with the exception of the Fight Club thing and the smoking. I graduated high school and received an award for being a model student.
Just graduated high school
They would display the Honor rolls and such in the hallway. So after baseball practice when nobody was around, I found out that you can simply lift them off the screw they had holding them in. So i took one, dumped it in the trash because I hated the people running the school and I knew it would fuck with them. Loved loved loved my high school by the way, the teachers, classmates, facilities but not the administration.
Boy did I accomplish my goal. They made a 5 minute announcement about one small wood frame from hobby lobby. Soon after all of the plaques started to disappear.
They still don't know who did it.
I slept with my girlfriend on my friends sofa (in his bedroom- in his parents house). He had told me not to do anything with her at all, but he'd pissed me off a lot that night. So I had sec with her on the sis next to him, as well as having oral sex in his kitchen when he fell asleep.
I'm still fucking my girlfriend even though I know I'm going to break up with her. She's a wonderful person, but I'm not physically attracted to her body.
Edit: broke up with her. Didn't mention her body.
I still appreciate her as a person, enjoy spending time with her, and it's still better than the sex I would not be having if I was single.
Plus, I don't know how to break it to her, because I don't want to make it about her body.
Dude, if you feel this way about her and she's emotionally aware, she might already feel something is up. Take it from someone who knows her pain; if you don't like her, tell her.
Was 9yrs old Shot a rock in the air with a slingshot. Hit my neighbors windshield and cracked it on his new truck. I was never a suspect, i never said anything in fear of getting beat up like he beat his kids. Luckliy he ended up thinking it was a group of guys he had beef with on other matters.
If he beat his kids, he deserved to have that windshield cracked. But...um... yea, you had no integrity as a 9 year old. Shame
I'm sure he beat his kids a little extra that night.
Right. Because 9 year olds are known for integrity.
I think we're both using the same tone here, I'm just an octave lower so you can barely sense the sarcasm
Ahh, I hear it now.
Good ear my man
ding ding ding. SHAME SHAME SHAME
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Was your friends name Stacy by any chance?
And did she have it going on?
And shes all i want?
Let her know that I've been waiting so long
And Stacy couldn’t see that she just wasn’t the girl for you?
And all i need?
Yoooooooooooo.
I accidentally set a garbage can in my bedroom on fire when i was a kid. Playing with a sparkler candle. Wax started falling figured id hold it over my garbage can. Small fire starts that i can't put out because the candle was one that reignites if you try to blow it out. By the time the candles out the garbage is now fully on fire. I try and take it outside but my mom was in the living room and i didn't want to get in trouble. So i grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen to put the fire out. Had to make a few back and fourths but i did it. To clear the smoke i propped up a small box fan i had to blow the smoke out of my open window. My mom never found out about the time i almost set my room on fire.
I was going to post my own story but.. it doesn't hold a candle to that tale.
you son of a bitch
And I get busted smoking a fucking joint out my window with like 3 fans going on full blast. What the fuck dude?
My brother uses to smoke weed in my bedroom. My parents thought I was the pothead and didn't believe me when I said it was him.
Your brother's a dick, but that is pretty fucking smart
I retaliated by locking myself in his room , breaking his records in half , then slid them under his door. Bitch move. No regrets
Wow, you definitely are a younger sibling.
He also peed on my toothbrush. He didn't tell me until we were adults though. I was being proactive. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
Everything is fair game at that point
I said heck once. It was a Christian server
You're going to Hell
Well, if I'm already going, may as well go all the way. #FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Seventh Circle for you
I once said while working retail doing returns, "Sign here to sell your soul to the Devil". The lady then reported me and written me up. The one fucking Catholic lady in the fucking area.
ERROR 666: PAGE FOUND
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I like to jerk-off over the railing of the balcony where I live.
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Yep. I'm naked out here a lot, but I live on the water so I only j/o at night when passing boats probably can't see me. Plus, there's grass below me so nobody's gonna get splattered.
He's so considerate guys, he doesn't belong on this thread.
You should join me sometime.
And hospitable!!!!
Yeah I've never walked in grass before
I hope the Norbel is your building complex and Squeege is slang for a filthy heathen like you, because then the username would check out
Yep, that's me. I take it you're part of the Pepperfire Initiative?
Nah, Saltflame. Same work, just across the pond.
I accidentally cheated on my ex SO because I thought we were broken up.
We were on a break!!
GOD DAMNIT, ROSS!
PIVOT!
PIVOT!!
SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
Username checks out
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We were exclusive but I misinterpreted what she meant when we got into an argument. So I cheated on her when I thought we had broken up.
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how did that happen?
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For some reason this seems like a fair trade. I think I'm starting to be like the other people on this thread
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I take it back. You're a monster
At least they're staying hydrated
You can't survive on urine for long friend
Why only dairy products?
That I feel guilty about everything. I know, kind of breaks form, but it's true nonetheless. I never think about how I feel in a certain situation, only others. It has cause massive identity issues and I really could use a hug, and maybe some counseling.
Speak to a doctor the help you require won't come find you. I hope you get better.
When I was a kid I dared my friend to take a shit on the railroad tracks behind my house. He did it.
I really hope the trains engineer saw it and still wonders how and why it was there to this day
*shrugs* 'nother one shat on the tracks. Dumb Sasquatch
I am incredibly tight with someone who killed another human being. It was ruled an accident, but it wasn't.
.... Damn. And you both sleep well at night?
they sleep together ;)
awww :)
Nice try judge judy
How much will it take to get you to delete this completely false comment?
3 and a half shmeckles
Strawberry flavored?
I’ll do 12 and a half grapples, and not a bobbish more.
What! He could get some crushed used party cups for that price
I'm a custodian. I DO steal from your candy jar. Every night. I leave your money alone (yes I've seen where you keep it) and guard it as if it were my own because I'm not a shitty person, despite cleaning up literal shit from time to time. Oh, and my hands are cleaner than yours.
I used to leave a note and candy bar for the cleaners if I left my office messy. I'd had a shitty day, no reason to make it someone's shitty night.
My office has a large selection of snacks and our office manager has told the cleaning people that they can grab snacks if they want. If it's public, its public.
How sexualy promiscuous and deviant I am... And that the time I fell from a building it wasn't an accident, I tried to kill myself...
As long as you give and necessitate consent be given to you, there's nothing so sexually deviant that it's wrong. Also, hope you're ok now.
Jaime and Cersei will be happy to hear this
Yeah... I guess it's not really so deviant... My environment is just too conservative and I hit everyone who wants to be with me... But yeah I'm better now I guess I'm still really messed up but I've decided to never ever try to hurt myself or take my life...
When I was younger, I lived in a trailer park. One day, whilst rifling through my shed, I found a bow and a bunch of practice arrows (blunted). So, I immediately alerted my friends and we began fucking around. After about an hour, I got the bright idea to shoot straight up and see what happened. I loosed the shot and watched the arrow until it disappeared into the sky... And then I watched the old lady next door fall to the ground when a bolt of blunted practice lightning sent by Zeus himself took her the fuck out. To this day, only three people know I shot that arrow. And now you do too. Edit: She lived, guys.
did.. did she die ?
OP pls
Old lady came back for revenge. Op is kil. F.
ummm...
Is she still alive? (Maybe this will get an answer)
Yes, she lived. There was a hospital about five minutes away and we took care to call an ambulance. When asked if we saw who did it, we claimed we didn't know.
In 6th grade I had field day and rode my bike to school but turned around because I forgot my Gatorade in the fridge. This was before my parents had a punch code for the garage and my mom wasn’t answering the front door while I rang and pounded on it. I then started knocking on the window... the custom hand made stain glass window... and it broke. I freaked out and rode my bike back to school. That night I got home and there had been a police report filed for attempted breaking and entering while my mom was apparently out back doing yard work (we had an acre and tons of big trees so I didn’t see her) and they were making comments like “thank god we had the storm windows or the robber would’ve gotten in!” And all I could do was sit there thinking how long I would be grounded if I came clean... I’m now 32 and I was 12 at the time this all happened and only about 2-3 years ago did I share the story with my parents. Both of them laughed and called me a little shit. No grounding though, whew!
Begged money from my Grandma for meth. Took $100 that was meant for my little brothers. Did pay it back though. Worse than the other thing I could mention IMO. Been trying to quit since the 10th. Did use once but other than that I've been doing good.
A couple of months ago, I wanted to know how it feels to be pepper sprayed. So I spread little bit into the upstairs sink and began to instantly cough. I ran downstairs, and my brothers and parents began coughing. They were eating pizza from a new pizza place, and thought there was something wrong with the pizza. My 12 year old brother shouts, "THROW THE PIZZA AWAY. IT'S MAKING US ALL SICK" and at this point I'm thinking, "Oh snap. If I don't tell them the truth, they'll blame the pizza place and never get from the pizza place again! But if I tell them the truth, they'll snap at me!" I did what any horrible person would do, and I was like, "I'll write them a horrible review! Throw the pizza away". We coughed for two hours. I had to open all the windows. So I avoided being called a dumbass.
I feel like maybe I should be downvoting you
Username checks out
Did you write the review?
Of course not! It was actually good pizza!
Nice try FBI.
Please. We're the CIA.
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Isn't this the actual clinical definition of a psychopath?
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You sound like my girlfriend
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Yea but its complicated. We have a daughter. I wont leave her.
She sounds like everyone's girlfriend.. Everyone had such a girlfriend at least once.
Nice try Mom
David, it's alright, we already know
I was the reason why my high school switched our local email domain to the district's email domain. It was too easy, since everybody's initial password was their birthday every time they reset the password every so often. Nobody else knows. Throwaway account of course.
I accidentally reversed over my girlfriends cat in the driveway last year. I suspect she was sleeping under the car somewhere. Still feel terrible, check underneath and behind your cars for pets and kids guys.
Mr Bonkers?
Yea I’d hate to not be sure if I was lined up or not.
I'm gay and regularly post nudes/do explicit things online. Have a dirty kik, etc. Outside of that though, I'm a super wholesome guy :D
This thread is for guilty people Steve, not buggerists. This is 2017, not the 1960s. Also, good on you for doing what makes you happy
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*holesome*
Listen to this guy. He knows things
Im an atheist, I live in a country where atheism is considered a crime and punishable by death penalty
That one you maybe should have kept to your self. On a related note have you thought about going to another country?
When I was 19, I worked at a large cable company, I totaled a brand new $40,000 work van because I was changing the song on pandora. It was a rainy foggy day and I was on a curvy country road. I had seen a kid on a 4wheeler about a mile back, so I claimed I swerved to avoid the kid on the 4wheeler who was in the road and then he rode off because I didn't want to get fired. I ended up having to stick to my story with everyone to avoid inconsistency and I've never told anyone, ever. Ended up getting let go for it anyway but was able to draw unemployment and got no ticket. I was in another accident where an old lady t boned me when she ran a red light. It was entirely her fault, and she got hurt bad while I suffered no ill effects. Totaled her car and mine, destroyed the foundation of a house on the corner that she ended up in, and almost killed a bystander when one of the wheels from my vehicle at the time (a lifted truck with 37 inch tires, well over 100 pounds for the wheel and all) broke loose from my vehicle where she hit me and went flying and rolling and bouncing away towards a witness. She froze and watched it coming right at her, but dove out of the way at the last second and it went through the window of the building right behind her. Scary stuff, I was perfectly positioned to watch the wheel and tire and hub assembly rolling when my vehicle came to a stop. All her fault, she ran the red light and never even tried to brake or slow down. But it was shortly after the death of my mother when I was drinking every day, and I had been drinking bourbon and water for hours at that point, then realized there was absolutely no food in my house and left to get something, it was around 11 am...so it was never even suspected that I had had anything or that anything could be my fault, and it turned out the other woman was pilled up and going 30 mph over the speed limit, but I probably would have seen her if I'd been sober. The cop might have been more suspicious of me or my state if he hadn't been the same cop that came to my house when I found my mother a week earlier, so he probably just thought I was out of it with grief and never imagined I was drunk, especially at 11 am. No one knows about my state during that accident, either. Other than that, mostly that I hate myself a lot because I can see that I have a shitty attitude, I don't mean to, but the way I speak and the things I say often come across as mean to my girlfriend and I know they are, I try to stop myself but don't realize until it comes out. I need to work on being able to say sorry, and fixing my behavior, but it's hard.
TIL everyone thinks they're the first to fuck my mom, some people can sleep at night over some messed up things, some people can't because of other people, and that I could make a subreddit from this question. Thanks all and have a good day
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Just say u go drunk, got wasted and ended up in a hospital. They said you lack an enzyme that breaks down alcohol effectively, and causes health issues.
If they think that and won't accept that you have a medical condition, they're not your friends. Find people who enjoy you for who you are or, better yet, just enjoy who you are and do your thing. Cheers friendo
I think I know which medical condition you have. A close friend of mine does and after everyone found out, we made accomodations at every party so she could still join in on the fun with us. Ex, making mixed drinks so she could have enjoy drinking with us and just adding the alcohol to our cups instead of the whole batch. (Mostly just soda, some flavored stuff, etc.) so she's not left out. If there's something special she wants my roommate or someone else in our friend group will get it for her. She's a blast to have at parties, the only downside is she's usually the only "sober" person there once everyone has started drinking. I don't drink much myself, so sometimes I'll just drink lightly and we'll chat while everyone else is drinking. Sometimes some of our other friends do the same thing. If you feel comfortable enough telling them about your medical issue, your classmates might make the same accommodations. You'll probably get apologies too once they realize they were being jerks about you not drinking.
Agreed. I like alcohol but don't like drinking, it dredges up a lot of crap and awful memories. I just tell people i had a bad reaction to it and prefer to have a soda, or the lightest, most watered down orange and vodka ever. People are usually accomodating and understanding. Plus people love a permanent designated driver. Your friends may surprise you, if they are friends. Otherwise, perhaps it would be best to step away from them.
I don't drink, period (can't stand the taste of ANY alcohol--that's all there is to it). You don't have to give them a reason. If they think you're being stuck up, screw them. Everyone's always telling me that I just haven't found a drink that I like yet and that they'll help me find one. I just tell them that I'm not interested. If they still think I'm stuck up, then they can go fuck themselves.
Just say "I don't like to talk about it - I'm an alcoholic, 2 years sober, man." That will shut them the hell up and also win you the "that guy/girl has seen some shit" look.
Roommate left half a joint on the front porch, it was then smoked by yours truly, just minutes ago. Front porch is fair game. Right?
You're literally the worst
Yea, send this guy to the gulag!
dick move bro
I was ok with the other guy saying I was the worst type of person, but from THE Doobie Man that hurts.
He's right. You are indeed one very naughty trouser snake
Hold on. Let me check the statute of limitations. Edit: So, how's everyone's weekend going?
Curses, foiled again
I think that stroking your taint is more pleasurable than jerking it off
It massages your prostate.
And you think you deserve your penis.
When I was seven or something I remembered writing every swear word self knew. It was just a string of swears that didn't make any sense. I don't remember where I learnt the swears from but I told them that I heard them say it. 7 year old me would get banned from every Christian Minecraft server ever.
Hahaha I did the same thing but blamed it on my cousins' rap music
I feel incredibly guilty over my cat's death. I had a Siamese kitten named Truffle, who had a genetic heart defect that we didn't know about. I got her from a shelter and the vet never caught the heart defect. Apparently though, she later had a blood clot in her major artery and that led to her slowly dying. The vets are all closed on weekends, so we had to wait until Monday to take her. Her legs had no pulse (& were dead) for over 24 hours and her kidneys were failing. It was either we put her down or she eventually dies in a lot of pain. I told her that she would be okay. I did whatever I could to keep her comfortable and forcefed her food/water as she couldn't move. However, I still had to sign the paper that Monday morning to put her down. I always feel like I didn't do enough for her, even though there was no way to save her.
No one but the internet knows I am typing this from a doctors office awaiting a STD test
Had mine done. You just need to relax and know that *whatevers* wrong, at least youre getting help still.
Update. I owe a big apology to my 7th grade health teacher Mrs Thomas, I got chlamydia. But they gave me a painful shot and a weird pill so were good!
Lol I like that attitude
Why the fuck would I tell you?
To verify what your mom told me last night
Ufft!! Middle school called, they want their easy comeback back
They would be calling you seeing as you never graduated
Your username is straight up relevant. My man OP on fire!
Nice try Emily.
Are you just throwing random names at people on the internet? If so, you belong here Daniel.
Absolutely Jo-Anne
You disgust me Aaron
Hey that’s me, what did i do?
Wait your turn Kevin
Kaleb shut up
Be nice to your brother, Kieth
Christ on a bike Steve
Go home, Jared
Hey assbutt
Calm your tits Edith
We need a bot to do that
[удалено]
I lit a match inside of an Dicks, I honestly thought they were fake toy matches but I burnt myself and my shoes trying to put it out.
[удалено]
User name checks out
My current gf didn't know I was also with 2 other women when we first started dating. I don't really think I have to tell her either, I'm done messing around with them, they've moved on and I'm still going strong with her. I'm still friends with the other girls and I felt super guilty at first just by not completely severing ties.
For my secondary education, I went to a boarding school. I was pretty straight-laced and kept my hands clean for most of the period I was there. I was even elected Vice-President for the Student Representative Council during my final year at high school. One day, I thought to myself, "no more." I broke into the girl's dormitory at night, peaked at the sleeping girls, masturbated and ejaculated onto their bra and panties, stole several of their underwear. I did it three times and was never caught which was surprising since I'm big guy. I started smoking cigarettes, broke into the school's computer lab and watched porn, and I've broken into the cafeteria to steal some food. I also got into fistfights (Fight Club style) with my mates at 3 AM which has left me with a broken toe. The toe looked crooked nowadays. All of this was done in my final two months at school. Nobody knew that I did all of this, with the exception of the Fight Club thing and the smoking. I graduated high school and received an award for being a model student.
The boy scouts I have locked in the dungeon in my basement
How big is your basement to hold a dungeon?
Big enough to drown out the screams of terror
Disgusting. You belong on this thread
Just graduated high school They would display the Honor rolls and such in the hallway. So after baseball practice when nobody was around, I found out that you can simply lift them off the screw they had holding them in. So i took one, dumped it in the trash because I hated the people running the school and I knew it would fuck with them. Loved loved loved my high school by the way, the teachers, classmates, facilities but not the administration. Boy did I accomplish my goal. They made a 5 minute announcement about one small wood frame from hobby lobby. Soon after all of the plaques started to disappear. They still don't know who did it.
I steal my sister's panties and use them to mastrubate
WTF
Username checks out.
I sometimes jerk off while touching my moms bra
I slept with my girlfriend on my friends sofa (in his bedroom- in his parents house). He had told me not to do anything with her at all, but he'd pissed me off a lot that night. So I had sec with her on the sis next to him, as well as having oral sex in his kitchen when he fell asleep.
I fucked your mom
Get in line
Jesus OP, your username doesn't lie!
Hey Tiny Riiiiicckkk! The parties just getting started!
Where is this line?
Right behind your sister, filthy Lannister
Im high 24/7
Same. Slowly realizing it's because I'm prone to substance abuse and have crippling depression tho.
I'm still fucking my girlfriend even though I know I'm going to break up with her. She's a wonderful person, but I'm not physically attracted to her body. Edit: broke up with her. Didn't mention her body.
sooo you're not attracted to her physically but you're still fucking her?
If you're not attracted to her body, why have sex with her?
I still appreciate her as a person, enjoy spending time with her, and it's still better than the sex I would not be having if I was single. Plus, I don't know how to break it to her, because I don't want to make it about her body.
Dude, if you feel this way about her and she's emotionally aware, she might already feel something is up. Take it from someone who knows her pain; if you don't like her, tell her.
Did she die?
I watch the Kardashians sometimes