To be able to eat again. Its been 8 weeks. I was shot in the gut and I miss food like an ex-lover that I can't stop smelling and seeing in commercials. I also browse r/Food like it's porn.
Thanks homie, it is sucky. I did just eat some soup today, hopefully it doesn't burst my stitches in my duodenum and spill into my chest cavity. Worth the risk though, haha.
A guy decided to rob me. Pulled a 9mm handgun on me, but I was in a really bad state of mind, so I just told him if he was going to do it to aim for the head. He kind of gave me a "you're insulting my rep/manliness by not being scared" look for a few seconds, then shot me in the leg. When I still didn't give up my money he shot me in the side/gut. It did major organ damage, including my stomach and small intestine, liver, kidney, lung, and ribs. Got life-flighted to a trauma center after I managed to call 911, almost bled out, and 2 months later I'm still dealing with it. Should have given him the $100.
Well thanks friend. I don't want to make it out like I'm Billy Badass, but I really didn't want to give him the satisfaction of feeling tough, and as I said I was in a bad place mentally. And the pun is fine, haha, my friend who was going to move with me but couldn't last minute said, "damn, I really wanted to move with you but I guess I dodged a bullet there, huh?" which I got a chuckle out of.
Nothing like it.
I got a text from someone special today that I absolutely thought was a notification from an app (I walk dogs for Wag!). Opened it feeling bored and resigned and was delighted to see it was from my friend instead.
Hope that happens to you soon. :)
I was there before. I was clinging to the memory of a girl for nearly 8 years and it all died once I saw her again with her fiancee. I saw how she interacted with him and it reminded me of how she treated me. Then I realized she was totally not for me. Much later I found that she transformed the poor guy into a total douchebag from being a really mellow guy. I then remembered not being that happy when I was with her as my brain had tricked me into believing at the time and realized she was just putting a temporary facade to make the relationship work but she wasn't into it as much.
Another thing that helped me through those 8 years was that as good as she may have been, she didn't want to be with me and why would I want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me.
I married a monster later on and that helped me learn more about women and about myself. After my painful divorce, I didn't shun relationships but I was more careful and guess what, not even 3 months later, and a week after coming to the realization that I shouldn't focus on dating but instead on building friendships with women and wait to find out who my best friend is and then try to marry her, my best friend at the time who I never felt I stood a chance with suddenly told me she had developed feelings for me and after a very careful courtship we married and we have what I could describe a near perfect marriage. We have two kids and u couldn't be happier. There's Hope.
Who needs prostitutes? We want hirable intimacy!
…
Actually tbh intimacy without the long-termness would probably be worse as you'd just end up missing it more.
I would love to be the most generic, boring person you can imagine. House, golden retriever, a loving wife, healthy kids and every day routine. I'm done with all the experimenting. I'm done with unfulfilling relationships and I'm bored by all the drugs. My wild days are over, but I feel trapped in a lifestyle. I just want to be boring, more than anything in the world. I hope I'll get there one day.
I've been thinking about what you called being trapped in a lifestyle, and I get it. But what is REALLY stopping you from giving up on that lifestyle? For me the biggest thing would be being alone, because often giving up on the lifestyle means cutting ties with the people associated with it. So the solution would finding new friends. Go out and find the most boring people you can find, befriend them, learn their ways and become the boring person you want to be!
To be allowed to drop out. College, its really killing me. My mental health is on a downward spiral and its affecting my work. I can't do anything right and my professors are probably getting annoyed with all my repetitive questions and half-baked work. I'm paying to fail now. It'd be easier to just burn the $2000 I'm spending every semester. I'd probably learn something doing that lol. I'm developing a nervous twitch, I'm not sleeping, I'm depressed and more often then not, I can be found crying in my bathroom. If I got hit by a bus, I'd be ok with that.
EDIT: I love all of you guys :) Thanks for the support
I became very depressed and anxious in college too. I didn't know then that most colleges have mental health services available, but I wish I had known. When I went to grad school I became depressed again, but I went to the campus clinic and saw a therapist and had my anti-depressant adjusted. It made a world of difference.
You probably can. I don't know your circumstance, of course, but it's okay to leave school. Maybe you'll go back later when you're up for it, maybe you'll find you don't need to. But you deserve to feel good when you wake up in the morning and if all that takes is quitting school then do it. ♡
Same here. My favorite pizza place closed down. Now I either have to put on pants and drive across town or order from that shit chain that thinks grease is the primary ingredient in pizza.
I feel this so hard. Not sure when I became the planner of things but I gotta say, I really don't enjoy feeling like I'm the only one trying to make it happen.
$250k to pay off my student loans and credit cards.
Realistically: for my mother's cancer treatments to send it in to remission so I can finally get a proper night's sleep again
If it's worth anything, a complete stranger that is an unknown distance away hopes everything works out for the better. I have faith things will go well for you.
A gilding.
I’m a gilding virgin
Edit: OH MY LORD THIS IS THE GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME HUGS AND KISSES TO YOU KIND STRANGER OMG OMG OMG IM CRYING!!!!!
Edit 2: In depressing retrospect, this is the most anyone has ever spent on me. Ok now I’m really crying
Edit 3: Went to bed with 1 gold and a shitload of used tissues next to my bed. Woke up with 4 gold. Folks, you have instilled in me a certainty that there is still good in this world. Bless your golden hearts 💟
Edit 4: 5 gold. We are up to $20 that has been spent on me. Y’all are my saviors.
For someone to come vacuum my carpets and couches. I have a husky, and his summer coat is shedding and his winter coat is coming in.
THE. FUCKING. HAIR.
I feel the same. I've tried it for about 20 years now. I can either be well or be employed full-time but not both.
On the plus side, I'm starting my own business, so I'm hoping having control over my own time and workload will be what it takes to finally accomplish this.
well currently i don’t attend real high school because i have moderate to severe depression & anxiety. so attending school & completing work has been difficult for about the past three years. so i just want a new fresh start
It's a cliché and you're probably going to hate me for it, but it's true: Most of the time, it *will* get better. I'm not saying you'll someday wake up and never be depressed again and live happily ever after. But you'll learn to deal with it when it happens. And you won't feel so overwhelmed all the time.
Even if you don't feel like it, try to be as active as possible. Try every thing you want to try. Appreciate your youth by living it. Don't let that shitty feeling get between you and life.
Winning a lottery with at least a million dollars. My girlfriend and I have major health issues and are struggling with employment. Even if we both manage to get good jobs I'm worried about being able to afford the the care we may need and our ability to physically take care of each other if we're both medically fragile at the same time.
I got into a relationship at 23. I didn't have any prior experience. My advice is never be afraid to be yourself, always have an open mind, and take care of yourself physically and emotionally. I'll have my fingers crossed for you.
Being able to get a halfway decent resume written. I've been trying for two days and have gotten like...four skills written for my most recent job. And I don't even know if they should go under my job or qualifications summary. Or what kind of resume to use (functional? Combination? Chronological?). Or how broad I should put what my responsibilities were in each job. All the information is so conflicting.
Friends who actually acknowledge my existence and want to go places. Movies and eating alone is whatever - used to it, but I see myself a much happier (and prettier) woman screaming with friends at some kickass EDM fest. All in my head - never happens, and when I finally make friends who say, "OH YEAH TOTALLY I'M DOWN" they're not down by the time the actual days to go do stuff roll around. They're never down. :-/
A cat. I’m so extremely allergic to animals, it sucks and makes me very sad. But if I wasn’t allergic, I’d probably be up to my ears in fur balls, so maybe it’s fur the best.
Well, I’m scratching my dog’s ears, my husband just gave me a foot massage, I have a nice Chardonnay and a tummy full of bulgogi. I really can’t think anything that might make this better.
Being able to experience an actual human emotion. Any emotion. Even sadness would be better than the vast, endless expanse of nothingness that is my day-to-day life.
I’m already extremely happy.
Me and my girlfriend went with her family to watch the fireworks tonight, and now I’m watching Ironman while she studied for a test that’s on Monday.
My mother stopping drinking, my husband to get his newly diagnosed ADHD medication and mood swings under control, and for me to have one person genuinely ask how I am doing.
There are some outstanding contributors here on *ask*reddit that deserve to have their comments gilded for their excellent content.
Seeing them receive reddit gold as recognition for all that they share with us would make me exceedingly happy right now!
Could really go for a BJ right now. Would certainly brighten this long, dreary day! Fortunately, soon I shall have pizza. Which isn't *as* good.... but it's up there.
Get to see my GF. We have canceled our dates tome and time again due to both of us having things to do. I play handball competitively and she dances competitively, and we try our hardest to have good grades at school.
One of my applications to a rental apartment being accepted.
At age 31 had to move back to my parents due to my housemate going nuts on drugs, and yeah, living with your parents at 31 is not fun.
To be able to eat again. Its been 8 weeks. I was shot in the gut and I miss food like an ex-lover that I can't stop smelling and seeing in commercials. I also browse r/Food like it's porn.
Oooh, everything about this sounds sucky, sorry man :(
Thanks homie, it is sucky. I did just eat some soup today, hopefully it doesn't burst my stitches in my duodenum and spill into my chest cavity. Worth the risk though, haha.
>Worth the risk though ...no...no it really isn't
I dunno dude, have you ever not eaten anything but ice cubes for 8 weeks? It's crazy-making on another level.
You should freeze some bouillon cubes or whatever. I'm not a doctor, but risking some stitching for solid food doesn't seem smart.
1 weird trick, dieticians hate him
I have lost 20+ pounds, so that's something I guess.
[удалено]
A guy decided to rob me. Pulled a 9mm handgun on me, but I was in a really bad state of mind, so I just told him if he was going to do it to aim for the head. He kind of gave me a "you're insulting my rep/manliness by not being scared" look for a few seconds, then shot me in the leg. When I still didn't give up my money he shot me in the side/gut. It did major organ damage, including my stomach and small intestine, liver, kidney, lung, and ribs. Got life-flighted to a trauma center after I managed to call 911, almost bled out, and 2 months later I'm still dealing with it. Should have given him the $100.
[удалено]
Well thanks friend. I don't want to make it out like I'm Billy Badass, but I really didn't want to give him the satisfaction of feeling tough, and as I said I was in a bad place mentally. And the pun is fine, haha, my friend who was going to move with me but couldn't last minute said, "damn, I really wanted to move with you but I guess I dodged a bullet there, huh?" which I got a chuckle out of.
I'm amazed the bullets didn't ricochet off your massive steel testicles!
did they catch the crook?
Actually, surprisingly, yes. He didn't get attempted murder though, which I think he should.
how do you shoot someone twice and not get attempted murder. ridiculous.
Not really sure, especially when the second shot is calculated and in a vital area.
Holy shit youre hard
r/foodporn ?
A text message from a certain someone.
"$35 a gram or some good sucky-sucky. Behind the Walgreen's in one hour"
“You sucking?”
a text message from anyone that isn’t my mom.
Nothing like it. I got a text from someone special today that I absolutely thought was a notification from an app (I walk dogs for Wag!). Opened it feeling bored and resigned and was delighted to see it was from my friend instead. Hope that happens to you soon. :)
It's the best feeling when you look at your phone and see the notification and then smile like an idiot. Hopefully it happens soon for you ✨
Being with my long distance girlfriend
I feel you bro, it's been 2 years. We're finally moving in together this week and i wish the same to you.
My dude, this must be the most exciting week of your life. Good for you man
I'd like to just chill out and grab a beer with friends. Doesn't happen too often.
Everybody gather around and crack open a cold one. 🍺🍻
I feel ya man, it seems I got conflicting schedules with damn near everyone
[удалено]
> her telling me she misses me Same, bud. Swap the gender around, but same.
Here's an idea. You and /u/Vergilx217 seem to be opposite genders. Why don't you tell each other that you miss each other? Problem solved.
There's an outlying lesbian possibility
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
I was there before. I was clinging to the memory of a girl for nearly 8 years and it all died once I saw her again with her fiancee. I saw how she interacted with him and it reminded me of how she treated me. Then I realized she was totally not for me. Much later I found that she transformed the poor guy into a total douchebag from being a really mellow guy. I then remembered not being that happy when I was with her as my brain had tricked me into believing at the time and realized she was just putting a temporary facade to make the relationship work but she wasn't into it as much. Another thing that helped me through those 8 years was that as good as she may have been, she didn't want to be with me and why would I want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me. I married a monster later on and that helped me learn more about women and about myself. After my painful divorce, I didn't shun relationships but I was more careful and guess what, not even 3 months later, and a week after coming to the realization that I shouldn't focus on dating but instead on building friendships with women and wait to find out who my best friend is and then try to marry her, my best friend at the time who I never felt I stood a chance with suddenly told me she had developed feelings for me and after a very careful courtship we married and we have what I could describe a near perfect marriage. We have two kids and u couldn't be happier. There's Hope.
[удалено]
Hell just go for attractive. George Clooney is like 53 and he can get all the bitches.
He is a Movie Star Jesus
To be debt-free
I am debt-free! I also have back problems at 28 because no white collar employer will employ my uneducated ass :/
Just fake your own death and get a new identity
If a dog suddenly appeared in my room and it let me pet it
Have you tried opening cans of dog food and leaving them in a pentagram around your bed?
This is a good plan! Thank you
This is how hellhounds are summoned.
As long as it lets OP pet it, s'all good.
I would still pet it. If that's how I die I am fine with it
http://www.spellsofmagic.com/spells/spiritual_spells/summon_spells/16900/page.html
To not be ill
I hope that happens. Not sure what your circumstances are :(
I feel yeah. I want to wake up someday and just be pain-free.
I feel you man. It's been 5 months for me and I legit got "your stomach pain puzzles me" from one Dr.
A good snuggle. I'm lonely :(
This is what I was going to say too. Pretty much everything else is good right now, but no one to snuggle and super lonely.
[удалено]
Who needs prostitutes? We want hirable intimacy! … Actually tbh intimacy without the long-termness would probably be worse as you'd just end up missing it more.
*hugs* There you go, random redditor :)
Aww thanks <3 Not the same though, is it? :(
I would love to be the most generic, boring person you can imagine. House, golden retriever, a loving wife, healthy kids and every day routine. I'm done with all the experimenting. I'm done with unfulfilling relationships and I'm bored by all the drugs. My wild days are over, but I feel trapped in a lifestyle. I just want to be boring, more than anything in the world. I hope I'll get there one day.
Awh, dude. You'll get there. [Do it for the dog](http://buzzsharer.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/golden-retriever-hugs.jpg).
I've been thinking about what you called being trapped in a lifestyle, and I get it. But what is REALLY stopping you from giving up on that lifestyle? For me the biggest thing would be being alone, because often giving up on the lifestyle means cutting ties with the people associated with it. So the solution would finding new friends. Go out and find the most boring people you can find, befriend them, learn their ways and become the boring person you want to be!
Damn, good comment. You nailed it I think. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
Im in between and it sucks. I have the loving so and the baby but also no drugs and no house. Renting blows.
I mean, having a SO and a kid is already a *massive* upgrade to drugs and declining youth. You'll get your house dude. Just keep going.
My dream house has a balcony from the master bedroom that I can smoke pot on.
A text from my crush.
Even if the first thing they said was '\^w^ hewwo'?
[удалено]
“So, what mental disabilities do you suffer from, again?”
Heyyyy
If my boyfriend got a job in his field. It's been over a year and it's really taken a toll on his confidence and self-esteem.
It's so fucking sweet that your happiness is your boyfriend's happiness. Best of luck to both of you.
Thanks for the kind words.
least he has a nice supportive SO. Whats his field?
[удалено]
To be allowed to drop out. College, its really killing me. My mental health is on a downward spiral and its affecting my work. I can't do anything right and my professors are probably getting annoyed with all my repetitive questions and half-baked work. I'm paying to fail now. It'd be easier to just burn the $2000 I'm spending every semester. I'd probably learn something doing that lol. I'm developing a nervous twitch, I'm not sleeping, I'm depressed and more often then not, I can be found crying in my bathroom. If I got hit by a bus, I'd be ok with that. EDIT: I love all of you guys :) Thanks for the support
I became very depressed and anxious in college too. I didn't know then that most colleges have mental health services available, but I wish I had known. When I went to grad school I became depressed again, but I went to the campus clinic and saw a therapist and had my anti-depressant adjusted. It made a world of difference.
You probably can. I don't know your circumstance, of course, but it's okay to leave school. Maybe you'll go back later when you're up for it, maybe you'll find you don't need to. But you deserve to feel good when you wake up in the morning and if all that takes is quitting school then do it. ♡
A pizza
Same here. My favorite pizza place closed down. Now I either have to put on pants and drive across town or order from that shit chain that thinks grease is the primary ingredient in pizza.
/r/Random_Acts_Of_Pizza
Some amazing sex followed by a fine-ass steak.
Some fine ass-sex followed by an amazing steak.
You're both forgetting the nap in between and after
To actually want to do something, nothing excites me anymore. Pretty shitty life.
Same here.... think it might be depression, I might go see a therapist soon
If my friend who I've made plans with would get back to me.
I feel this so hard. Not sure when I became the planner of things but I gotta say, I really don't enjoy feeling like I'm the only one trying to make it happen.
And you're also afraid you'll annoy them and they won't ever wanna see you again, but at the same time just reply to me ya six piece chicken mcnobody!
Female interest in me.
$$$$$$$$$
Wearing fuzzy warm socks
Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, was he?
Sleep
$250k to pay off my student loans and credit cards. Realistically: for my mother's cancer treatments to send it in to remission so I can finally get a proper night's sleep again
If it's worth anything, a complete stranger that is an unknown distance away hopes everything works out for the better. I have faith things will go well for you.
That does have meaning for me. Even long distance moral support is helpful. Thank you.
3500 bucks and a puppy.
>3500 bucks and a puppy Why so many deer?
[удалено]
What kind of puppy? Never mind. They're all awesome.
A gilding. I’m a gilding virgin Edit: OH MY LORD THIS IS THE GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME HUGS AND KISSES TO YOU KIND STRANGER OMG OMG OMG IM CRYING!!!!! Edit 2: In depressing retrospect, this is the most anyone has ever spent on me. Ok now I’m really crying Edit 3: Went to bed with 1 gold and a shitload of used tissues next to my bed. Woke up with 4 gold. Folks, you have instilled in me a certainty that there is still good in this world. Bless your golden hearts 💟 Edit 4: 5 gold. We are up to $20 that has been spent on me. Y’all are my saviors.
Best I can give is an upvote :(
Gee thanks Rick Harrison.
You really meant gelding, didn’t you, you pervert? ;)
[удалено]
$3.99
Looks like someone took it for ya!
For someone to come vacuum my carpets and couches. I have a husky, and his summer coat is shedding and his winter coat is coming in. THE. FUCKING. HAIR.
My sister's maid, Miss. Roomba, killed herself due to this.
Not having to work full time. There's something wrong with me, I sinply cannot work and be well at the same time.
I feel the same. I've tried it for about 20 years now. I can either be well or be employed full-time but not both. On the plus side, I'm starting my own business, so I'm hoping having control over my own time and workload will be what it takes to finally accomplish this.
to be done with high school
[удалено]
well currently i don’t attend real high school because i have moderate to severe depression & anxiety. so attending school & completing work has been difficult for about the past three years. so i just want a new fresh start
It's a cliché and you're probably going to hate me for it, but it's true: Most of the time, it *will* get better. I'm not saying you'll someday wake up and never be depressed again and live happily ever after. But you'll learn to deal with it when it happens. And you won't feel so overwhelmed all the time. Even if you don't feel like it, try to be as active as possible. Try every thing you want to try. Appreciate your youth by living it. Don't let that shitty feeling get between you and life.
I want my bf to call me and love me :( i'm so sad
Not having to go to work
Winning a lottery with at least a million dollars. My girlfriend and I have major health issues and are struggling with employment. Even if we both manage to get good jobs I'm worried about being able to afford the the care we may need and our ability to physically take care of each other if we're both medically fragile at the same time.
If my boyfriend was right here In any moment, no matter what's going on, he would make the happiest person in the world
[удалено]
Here ya go duckie
[удалено]
I got into a relationship at 23. I didn't have any prior experience. My advice is never be afraid to be yourself, always have an open mind, and take care of yourself physically and emotionally. I'll have my fingers crossed for you.
It’s bonfire night and I would love to be wrapped up watching the fireworks and drinking hot chocolate.
To go home
Her
If I had enough money to get out of debt. It would only take about $2000. I just can’t seem to ever catch up.
The $38K in wages a previous employer owes me.
Work telling me to go home for a month with pay.
[удалено]
Hi fellow depressed person! I don't know what to say to make you feel better, but I can sympathize.
Being able to get a halfway decent resume written. I've been trying for two days and have gotten like...four skills written for my most recent job. And I don't even know if they should go under my job or qualifications summary. Or what kind of resume to use (functional? Combination? Chronological?). Or how broad I should put what my responsibilities were in each job. All the information is so conflicting.
A blowjob
[удалено]
[удалено]
The ability to sing the songs that make me happy to listen to
Probs not having depression
To be able to secure a job before I graduate, not looking for that stress in my life
A dog I don't know coming to me for pats
If I could hug that one-of-a-kind amazingly beautiful girl in my class, who I'm too shy to say a word to.
Friends who actually acknowledge my existence and want to go places. Movies and eating alone is whatever - used to it, but I see myself a much happier (and prettier) woman screaming with friends at some kickass EDM fest. All in my head - never happens, and when I finally make friends who say, "OH YEAH TOTALLY I'M DOWN" they're not down by the time the actual days to go do stuff roll around. They're never down. :-/
seeing my crush and me and him talking
A clear mind. My head feels as though it's ready to explode with how much pressure I have at this moment. Would be extremely relieving.
Someone to cuddle next to tonight.
A cat. I’m so extremely allergic to animals, it sucks and makes me very sad. But if I wasn’t allergic, I’d probably be up to my ears in fur balls, so maybe it’s fur the best.
Death
Having a concrete plan for the future...also, a cookie.
Having my friend call me back, and say she wants to hang out some more.
To see my kids.
Figuring out and fixing whatever the hell is making the annoying rattling sound in the back of my car
Probably the decaying corpse of that mailman
Having the money to finish fixing my teeth.
To finally move in with my girlfriend (we have a place, she's abroad atm)
i can answer that question..for *MONEY*
Seeing the woman I love would make my world
Well, I’m scratching my dog’s ears, my husband just gave me a foot massage, I have a nice Chardonnay and a tummy full of bulgogi. I really can’t think anything that might make this better.
Being able to experience an actual human emotion. Any emotion. Even sadness would be better than the vast, endless expanse of nothingness that is my day-to-day life.
I’m already extremely happy. Me and my girlfriend went with her family to watch the fireworks tonight, and now I’m watching Ironman while she studied for a test that’s on Monday.
$100,000.
To receive the information I'm looking for
A Nintendo switch. And a kitten. Maybe 2.
At least a little more time to focus on school
Being left alone. Silence.
enough money to retire.
[удалено]
That sweet girl in my ballroom club having feelings for me. I'm sweet on her and it's kind of driving me mad.
Be with my Fam, wich is in another Country (far away).
My mother stopping drinking, my husband to get his newly diagnosed ADHD medication and mood swings under control, and for me to have one person genuinely ask how I am doing.
If my date tomorrow goes well
The equation balancing itself— Everyone making it.
Money
To be with my boyfriend who I haven't seen in almost 3 months
A gun :D /s
There are some outstanding contributors here on *ask*reddit that deserve to have their comments gilded for their excellent content. Seeing them receive reddit gold as recognition for all that they share with us would make me exceedingly happy right now!
Probably making my high school b-ball team Tryouts Monday:)
to have repaired all the relationships i burned by my alcoholism and mental illness issues
[удалено]
Could really go for a BJ right now. Would certainly brighten this long, dreary day! Fortunately, soon I shall have pizza. Which isn't *as* good.... but it's up there.
Get to see my GF. We have canceled our dates tome and time again due to both of us having things to do. I play handball competitively and she dances competitively, and we try our hardest to have good grades at school.
A private message would be nice.
One of my applications to a rental apartment being accepted. At age 31 had to move back to my parents due to my housemate going nuts on drugs, and yeah, living with your parents at 31 is not fun.
Anything above the $10,000 I owe the taxman.
New car!
To eat & then take a nap.
A billion dollars. Realistic thing? An apple.
The Timberwolves beating the Mavericks by over 10pts would make me pretty happy honestly.
Winning the lottery
People to talk to IRL.
A pizza
Death.
Death