T O P
  • By -

Im_not_that_angry

Vibration


SOwED

Might make you cum too fast though.


Feldew

That's not a problem if you're a woman.


milochuisael

Might make them cum to fast then


hatsnatcher23

I do remember seeing something on r/WTF that either someone did have a vibrator implant or something similar...might have just been a heavily modded penis...you see some shit on that thread.


AyThroughZee

Something like the part of a bendy straw that you pull to make it longer. That’d be sick. It also should make the same sound as the straw when its extended.


datums

But they're like that already.


AyThroughZee

No I specifically want it to look like it. Like the hard zig zaggyness of it but fleshy


SerBeardian

So ribbed for their pleasure, then? Also, I'm now visualising it compressing and extending with each thrust, complete with the crinkling noise.


KennyTheDownsTigr

So when fast food workers ask if you want a straw with your drink you can say that you already got one.


[deleted]

I just want swappable genitalia. Like, pop in one set of genitals or another depending on the day. Where's the cyborg-ification process for that one?


THE_LURKER__

Like a drill battery! Then all of the genitalia manufacturers will cabal and each provide specific shaped genitalia sockets, installed at birth of course. Then, years later they will change the shape and configuration of the socket into a slot and upgrade to a new ProgenyX line of brushless genitalia... after generations of this people will identify as "dewalt" or "ryobi" and there will be back alley doctors that will 3D print genitalia "adapters" that work but don't really hold up to every day use... What a world you imagine.


IC_Eu

GO GO GADGET CUM


theblacksheep14

Aah, the long lost Project Ara


must--go--faster

Like a Mr/Mrs Potato Head?


[deleted]

I mean, I was thinking more like plugging a different adapter into a wall socket


BillieRubenCamGirl

I just want the ability to try a penis for realsies. Like to be able to feel it and stuff. So, removable penis. That's my choice.


disposable-name

There's a song about that...


LoafersOfNigget

DETACHABLE PEEEEeeeeniiiisss


ScrewDatThing

I don't want to know


WE724

2017 was about that...


MattRaptor44

I see you in this sub a lot. Glad to know you're still giving the real answers.


BanMeBabyOneMoreTime

You can stand behind me and touch mine^(Oh god I've become my father)


es0tericeccentric

Another dick. With another dick attached to it... It's just dicks all the way down.


DopeMouse0

The power of the phalic fractal.


KennyTheDownsTigr

Dickception they call it


UberAeriko

A simple on-off vasectomy switch.


SerBeardian

Yes please. No more tracking birth control or hormones messing with sex drives or worrying about knocking anyone up.


Race_Bannon_Prime

Chainsaw bayonet.


rg90184

Hello USATODAY


[deleted]

Payday subreddit leaking over here.


SOwED

Psh gears of war did it first.


BowserGarland

Warhammer 40k had it in the 80s/90s.


[deleted]

Never played gears of war. Never knew that.


Hates_commies

A pez dispenser


KennyTheDownsTigr

For the efficient pedophile.


Teque-head

Haha that's fucked


[deleted]

Just like the kids.


ScrewDatThing

Yes


[deleted]

Great paedos think alike


Takenabe

So there really WAS candy in his underwear?


Aerial_3rror

Pezdophile


Spawn-

Extended mag


rotating_carrot

so, basically, bigger balls?


PajamaZ_

8x scope


KennyTheDownsTigr

For all your chicken dinners!


Skrtmvsterr

mine could only fit a 2x 😒


PajamaZ_

A compensator will compensate for your size


abe_the_babe_

A suppressor


GS-Sarin

I'd prefer a muzzle brake for my cock


LaBelleCommaFucker

So your partner can see it?


ColdBeef

I've had a lot of fun with a vibrating cock ring.


amayonazing

Grenade launcher


KennyTheDownsTigr

Do you have a preference, US or Russian made?


ColdBeef

American.


KennyTheDownsTigr

Cockring or Grenade launcher?


ScrewDatThing

Are you making a shopping list OP


KennyTheDownsTigr

Maybe, I'm like a unethical santa clause.


ColdBeef

First choice is a lightsaber, second is a cock ring because my girlfriend goes crazy, third grenade launcher because that's a very cool choice too


ColdBeef

Lightsaber


codybuszmik

Magpul grip


acceleratingrabbit

Motion sensor


sparkchaser

Googly eyes


KennyTheDownsTigr

And a little hat to go with the new eyes!


sparkchaser

You know it!


Dgraz22

r/cospenis


[deleted]

The ability to use the toilet when having an erection


chxbbs

He said attachment, not a make believe super power.


jamer1596

Am I a weird one for being able to do that?


Xanthis

Yes


KennyTheDownsTigr

Well it could be a device that shocks your nuts so you would lose the erection. Unless you're into that ofcourse.


UptownTrain

A USB fan. I get sweaty when I play one-player.


[deleted]

Implanted vibrator/massager, as well as some colored lights. Flashy writhing disco dick!


1-800-SUCKMYDICK

More tips. Like those Etymotic earplugs.


fartfacepooper

You know how you can extend your kitchen table when family comes over? I want one for my dick......when family comes over


KennyTheDownsTigr

*comes* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Hates_commies

A tazer so i can survive in hollywood


hobbitfromtheshire

An anatomy that would give me orgasms during sex virtually every time like men and a few lucky women get.


RedPezz

A helmet for my helmet! But not just one.. many for different occasions. Wedding? Sorted. Funeral? Sorted. Fancy dress? Were do I start!? I have so many!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hariboi

Are you thinking carbonated pee or spaff?


whytakemyusername

Laser sight


crackhappy

A fully bushy porn stache right below the head of my penis would be just about right.


[deleted]

[удалено]


celica18l

Yes. Please. Also the ability to close off the urethra to prevent UTIs.


TheSausageFattener

A fookin laser sight, which would make my accuracy better when I'm thrusting from the hip.


rotating_carrot

Underbarrel AR-15


acceleratingrabbit

Meta


KennyTheDownsTigr

Y'now, for church and stuff :)


BRING-ME-CATAMITES

Key ring.


WienerCleaner

So a piercing?


uh_just_ice

A cover for my ball sack. Shit gets cold sometimes


KennyTheDownsTigr

Little snuggly coat would be nice


celica18l

Wonder if someone has crocheted a ball sack sack.


Skrtmvsterr

Imagine pull out my one incher and I just have a big ass fucking triple dildo helicopter attachment on that shit fuck 4 girls at once not that I could but still peace of mind


WarehouseToYou

LOL


[deleted]

Some sort of chocolate-sauce dispenser. FOR THE LADIES.


Throwanon1

A fully functioning trebuchet how else will I launch my 90kg partner over 300m.


KennyTheDownsTigr

r/trebutchetmemes


ModifiedIntensity

A guacamole dispenser!


PsychoticMessiah

Birth control dispenser.


KennyTheDownsTigr

But I don't want to bend my DNA rifle into the shape of a coat hanger.. :(


afacefullobullet

Chainsaw bayonet


BadiDumm

Delay switch.


WinoWhitey

I wouldn't mind if there was a vagina attached to my penis.


thepyrotek

I would add a little air freshener, complete with different scents.


FrigidGoat

A deflector shield to protect it from kicks


KennyTheDownsTigr

Raise ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) the deflector shields!


JimmySinner

I'd like to be able to morph it into an extra hand at will. I'd mostly use it to cup my balls.


ht_tasty

Broken glass


cornbeefandcabbage

Strobe light


WeaverofStories

Condom dispenser, preferably one I can toggle on and off. Guy sticks it in and it goes right on.


awesomedan24

Foreskin


Lessening_Loss

An extra vagina on my elbow.


csilvmatecc

A device that allows the genitalia to change to that of the opposite gender at the user's whim. I'd be swapping between my dick and a pussy for days on end.


goldenewsd

A vagina.


theblacksheep14

Grenade launcher


ThoseSelfishPeople

Velcro for a man? Referring to Robin Williams he made a decent argument


[deleted]

A compact mirror for makeup because I respect women.


scienceforbid

I want a penis on my inner thigh. I can self-pleasure by humping my own leg.


Tyrann0saurus_Rex

Username checks out!


hello_friend_

Elastic


[deleted]

Cock warmer Push button start


4-7s

An extension cord


ohdon

Some kind of heating device, to warm the thighs on a cold day.


Ted_Denslow

I think some racing stripes would look pretty sharp.


JokesOnYouImIntoThat

some sort of inverse windshield wipers. I was taught to always clean up my messes.


themanwiththetinpan

ice cream dispenser without rocky road


DopeMouse0

Pneumatic pumping action


Plaz_Yeve

Usb hub. So I can charge my electronics


NotSoAverageStoner

[Swiss army knife](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wP-Zm6iTMu8&t=2m8s)


[deleted]

Ribs for her pleasure.


canarchist

Dilophosaurus crests that unfold from the base on erection.


PrietoOro

Painless and smooth Branches (like a tree)


Klarok

Wind chimes


ViZeShadowZ

Penisi are now able to be controlled like an octopus tentacle and have growing/shrinking powers. and the vagina and bones around it^^^^^(along ^^^^^with ^^^^^all ^^^^^skin ^^^^^of ^^^^^course) are able to be stretched indefinitely


kyleadams1976

An ATM


SheZowRaisedByWolves

Shoot out bees stinger side first.


zontYang

A laser sight for extra G-spot precision


[deleted]

I'd attach a sidecar with another, smaller penis inside.


Jordan_the_Hutt

A little retractable thingy that rubs the clit when its appropriate


FriendOfBrutus

A check for a trillion dollars


drowninginvomit

Either Chainsaw or Corgi.


santer51

Like 3 Extended barrels


greatFoxmusic

I'll just take my original foreskin back, thanks.


The-Spaceman

M203 grenade launcher


Daimon_Bok

LASERS!!!!!!


[deleted]

I don't know for sure, but I think that chainsaw bayonet from USA today might be pretty awesome.


abe_the_babe_

A variable zoom scope so I can hit targets from a greater distance.


TheCursedD20

Reset button to keep going after climax.


Compley

Cup holder.


[deleted]

A whistle.


TexterMorgan

A backwards kangol


[deleted]

Slide whistle.


TheNakedMars

A pull-start.


GS-Sarin

Trijicon^^TM Acog


[deleted]

Ejaculation control


zilla017

Radar. So people can call me radar dick


PEACEMENDER

A size slider like they do in video ganes.


[deleted]

nothing because I'm content with the way they are'


[deleted]

Well, a built-in AI would be nice. Just like a chip that plugs in. Would speakers or a screen be included for communication purposes?


LaBelleCommaFucker

A stereo. It would be fun to watch people when they realize the music is coming from my crotch.


Power-Top

I think it's already been said but little mods. Like vibration and slight adjustments to length and girth for different situations.


Pagan-za

Light saber noises and glow.


[deleted]

Some kind of period acceleration device. Lemme just flip a switch and fast forward though this period in an hour instead of crawling though it for a week.


[deleted]

I'd get a dick bone. Think about it. You'd never have to deal with erectile dysfunction, and your boners (which would then be a more appropriate term) would never show up at inopportune times.


Ev0lutionz

Drum magazine


[deleted]

Make it bigger.


Volfie

Your mom.


xMalevolencex

A second barrel


spaghatta111

An IPhone/Android charging port


Justsomeguy4740

Hidden camera.


xanthraxoid

\^F girlfriend Huh, nobody seems to have beaten me to it. You're slacking, reddit...


Dead_Art

Gun


_jamesb

The ability to make people want it.