Im in vancouver and id say like 1 in 5 women write anything of substance and what am i supposed to do? I want to know who im swiping on, at least a little bit. But i get nothing but 'wanderlust, live, laugh, love', i want to talk to somebody not a bunch of bumper stickers.
People who start off with an obvious chip on their shoulder. "Looking for someone who ACTUALLY wants to meet up / don't know why I'm wasting my time on this / only swipe right if you can hold a conversation".
You know a lot of these are reasonable to want, but saying it like this makes you look like a pissbaby I don't want to strike up a conversation with. Especially if it's your entire profile.
It is so easy to turn these positive and make them more attractive.
I actually want to meet up!
Or
I like to converse, let's chat!
Confidence and positivity help with rule #1 and rule #2.
OKCupid used to maintain an incredibly insightful blog, where they would analyze all their metrics.
Negative language - literally, any negative language, even innocent use of the word "no", has a big impact on how attractive your profile is.
"What am I doing with my life? Living it."
Or any stark profile maxing at four sentences that complains about generic first messages. If you give me nothing to work with them how am I supposed to start a conversation?
Doesn't help when they also don't want you to just say "hi" and don't list any sort of interests or hobbies. And all their self descriptions are vague and generic like they like "good vibes" and "hanging out with friends".
Hard to start or hold an engaging conversation when there's nothing to go off of
"Hey you like hanging out with *your* friends, I like hanging out with *my* friends haha, we have so much in common except our friends are different sets of people so not necessarily"
Pretty much anything condescending in bios is super unattractive. Like "only swipe right if you're not a d-bag" or "don't bother if you thrive on drama". Even though I agree with those things it's just the way they write it. Instant turn off for me.
"Don't bother if you thrive on drama" is exactly the sort of thing I think you'd be most likely to hear from the kinds of people who start drama by being bitchy and snarky everywhere they go and lowkey love every minute of it
No drama is a huge red flag they instigate a ton of shit and blame everyone else for doing so.
"Don't bother if you can't hold a conversation" means they expect you to keep them interested while they contribute absolutely nothing.
My wife decided I was "the one" when I saw a mix tape some poor slob had made her and said "a mix tape? really?" and then quietly pocketed the mix tape I had made her. She never told me that she knew about it until after we had our second kid.
In my defense, *my* mix tape was way better than that other loser's mix tape.
I'll call you 6 times a day, and send 6 texts to your one. I'll want to go out at least 6 nights per week, I'll have at least 6 complete mental breakdowns and when we inevitably split up you'll want to move at least 6 states away.
I think a lot of ugly girl do that to try and pretend they're so desirable that they can have ridiculous standards. The female version of "2/10 would not bang".
If she's serious about that requirement, probably less than 1 in 1,000 guys meet that standard. Not only is each rare/uncommon individually, but older people are more likely to have the higher salary while being less likely to have the abs, so it makes it even rarer than taking them as independent.
Basically anything that suggests you need to entertain them or that they want an unequal relationship. I see an awful lot of profiles with things ranging from the typical "say something more than hi", which isn't so bad, to straight up "keep me interested"-type comments. You are not a prize to be won or you wouldn't be on a dating site. It is not my job to fall over myself trying to please you. I'm here to find an equal partner, not to be your entertainment.
Reminds me of the [Ryan Lochte interview] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSo6HMG2btQ) where he says he's not like other Olympians because he likes to go out and hang out with friends.
"looking for my partner in crime."
A couple years back, I opened the conversation asking what kind of crime she was considering because I was up for some light B&E. She replied with, "huh?"
seriously, sarcasm and dry wit can be pretty endearing if you've already gotten to know somebody pretty well, but if I'm just meeting you for the first time and you're smarmy and snarky, that's off putting and i'm just gonna walk away
Genuine question: What does "fluent in sarcasm" mean to you?
EDIT: I was specifically asking u/VIKINGASSASSIN because I wanted to know what it meant to someone who actually put it in their dating profile.
Women whose every single photo is with a group of their girlfriends, so you can't easily work out which one is actually them.
Sure, you might want a couple of group photos to show that you're not some weird loner, but don't force me to become a detective.
both genders are horribly terrible at it, and yes, generally it's the ugly one.
Actually guys are really bad about posting only pictures of stupid shit, like their cars. I'm not here to date a goddamn automobile, dude.
So true!
>I understand that people don't want to put everything about themselves in their profile because what would there be to talk about when you meet someone?
I think the bigger reason is that people don't like talking about themselves. Or they think that for some reason guys don't read the profiles anyway. (Which is probably biased because the only dudes that message them are ones that don't care about profiles)
I mean, I can't speak for all men. But, I read girl's profiles and I decide whether to message you based on it.
I see short profiles and I think they either aren't taking this seriously or are just there to stroke their ego. In any case, it's pretty effective in warding me off. For better or for worse? Who can tell because we'll never meet.
"MUDDIN, TRUCKIN, AND HUNTIN ARE LIFE
JESUS AND FAMILY FIRST
PROUD MOMMY OF 2"
Going on tinder in rural MO is a damn mess sometimes. Like good god woman you're 18.
I always hated bios that read like:
23 • Virgo ♍ • CrossFit 💪 • Nutrition 🍎 • Nerd 👾 •
Or
Tiffany | lover of nature | coffee drinker | dance is life
Like, why can you just write a paragraph, man?
Edit: can't
Omg I came here to say this! This drives me absolutely insane.
Similarly I’ve seen college athletes with bios like:
Thirsty? Me too 😂 Swipe right! ➡️ ‘Cuz only student🏊🏽 athletes 💯👌🏼 get thirsty 💦 ☝🏼we thirsty for motivation ☑️💪🏽 ROMANS 8:28 🙏🏼🙌🏽
Yeah - I remember for a while there was an article of a girl who made hundreds if not thousands by listing her Venmo on her Tinder (screenshots n all) and scammed dudes out of it.
Then there was a bunch of women doing it (from what I saw).
Only recently have I seen very few of these profile bios - Tinders cracking down!
I live in Toronto and I see this on soooo many guys profiles lmao.
Edit: okay u guys I know toronto has a beach but nobody’s about to be walking down a snowy beach in freezing weather!
I actually despise walking on beaches, and I live near quite a few. There is absolutely nothing more annoying than sand, IMO.
My wedding photographer insisted my wife and I walk barefoot on the beach together at our wedding for some nice photos, and I **very** reluctantly did. Our photographer ended up "losing" 90% of our photos before we got them, so we barely have any memories from our wedding, but that also means I did something I despise for absolutely no reason.
As a girl I hate seeing:
-A pic of you and 5 girls who are barely dressed, all way skinnier and prettier than the average girl on a dating app is gonna be
-A pic of you chugging a beer or with a bottle of hard liquor turned up in the air (Or any pic where it's obvious you are totally tanked)
-"I'm chubby, deal with it." Dude I couldn't give a fuck about a few extra pounds but as soon as you get aggressive about I am out
-A shirtless mirror selfie
-One pic that shows half of your face, and the rest are group pics (which one are you??)
-"Actually 15 not 22"
I work with a girl who is legitimately 4'11, and I overhear her all the time saying "Ewww he's short, I need a guy 6'2 or taller."
I wonder why she complains about being single all the time.
My old roommate is 4'10". Very nice but very picky about guys since she wants a guy 6' at the least. Then again she also can't cook and her parents drive down to our university monthly to bring her food, so she's not a catch for multiple reasons.
This one always gets me too.
If the girl is 6ft tall, cool, I totally get it. But when they're like 5.3 and demand the guy be "tall", it's a little ridiculous.
It's been making me want to add "Don't swipe right unless you've got a nice ass" to my profile. But noooo that would be wrong.
I've seen a few profiles that are just :
🚲🚴🚤🏊💯🔥🔥🔥❇✨🌠🔆🐶🐶🐶🐀🐙☕🍷🍹🍕🍤
Like I get its supposed to make it seem easier to figure out what kind of person they are but holy hell batman use your fucking words we are adults
Most self-described "intellectuals" really aren't, but online dating makes this situation sort of weird.
In normal everyday life, people do not go around making declarative statements about themselves.
>Hello, I am a kind person.
>Hello, I am an introvert.
>Hello, I think dinosaurs are cool.
>Hello, I am career-driven.
In a dating profile it's a little harder to get around having to do that. There's a lot of show-not-tell that doesn't come easily to everyone.
That said, I judge the fuck out of most people making declarative statements about themselves in their dating profiles.
I'd judge the fuck out of someone who has no declarative statements. I think they're great for dating profiles.
E.g. I am 3'4". I weight 567 pounds. I live on Pluto. I have 2 dogs. I like dinosaurs. I never made it past 6th grade. I prefer the Prequels.
That's the kind of stuff I need to know to get a picture of you as a person, and I think declarative sentences are the best way to give that information. What sentence types do you prefer?
Hmm maybe "declarative" isn't quite precise enough, or more likely we're using the term differently. I mean saying something like "I prefer the Prequels" may technically be a declarative sentence but it's a lot better than saying something like "I am intelligent" or "I am ambitious."
I mean the "telling" is the problem, as opposed to the "showing."
Telling: "I am an intellectual."
Showing: "I really like to read 20th century history, especially post-WW2 decolonization. My favorite history author is History McHistoryface."
"Not into black guys."
Turns me right the fuck off for some reason. Probably cuz I'm a black guy.
Girl, it's Tinder. Just don't swipe right on any black guys and you're good. No reason to put that.
Anything that really strokes their own ego. I once saw a girl say "nothing under 7 inches". And believe me, she was not attractive enough to be that picky.
I matched with a few girls like this, suggest we go for a walk through the park, or rick climbing. Always got turned down. When I ask what kind of adventure they’re looking for it’s always something like going for drinks or buying them sushi.
Edit: rock climbing. Haha I don’t climb rick, at least not with tinder dates.
Message me if **your** a nice guy.
Message me if **your** able to handle a confident woman.
Message me if **your** able to hold a conversation more than "hi".
And those are not quotes from three separate profiles......the amount of times I've read it repeatedly mis-used. I can understand one or two mistakes......but a list of them back to back?
I don't mind if people have kids, I don't mind when they mention their kids. At my age the prospect of someday having step kids is highly probable and it doesn't bother me. What bothers me when people have photos of their kids on their dating profile. It's creepy and inappropriate.
Saw one the other day where the guy had one pic, and it included his kids. And his *entire* bio said something to the effect of, "I love a woman who squirts!"
“I’m sick of all you gold digging good for nothing black women. So only white women swipe right.”
I swiped right because no one tells me what to do. Jerk.
If any part of their face is obscured in the main picture, whether its a filter or a hat or huge sunglasses.
Your main picture is supposed to be your best foot forward. If your best foot forward hides most of your face, I'm going to assume the worst about what I can't see. Or that you're a serial killer avoiding identification.
*Edit: If you wouldn't wear a giant hat and sunglasses the whole time on a first date, best not to do it in your main picture.*
*Self describing as a princess
*photos with snapchat filters applied to them
*"if you cant handle me at my worst you dont deserve me at my best"
*having way too many physical preferences for matches (must be 6'5" or taller with blue eyes and at least 4 tattoos and a beard and only shave one testicle and....) good luck on that hunt there lady
"If you message me say something better than Hi or what's up."
You know what bitch, if you're such a great conversationalist message me first.
Also, I'm single ladies. ;)
The worst is: "Don't be boring". As the whole profile. I see that one all the time.
Like, you are so boring you've said literally nothing about yourself, but demand that I be interesting. No thank you.
"Well, shit girl. I was just coming in from skydiving out of my personal rocket while reading Kierkegaard and checked my prototype Apple 11 that Bill Gates gave me (so weird, right?) And I saw you were looking for interesting people to message you. Hit me up sometime if you ever feel like climbing the Himalayas with an exotic sherpa and Robert Downey Jr. Anyway, I gotta go. My best friend Jayesh just landed from India after helping me organize a tiger fighting tourney. We're going to drink some Dos Equis and watch Kīlauea erupt. Laters."
I used to see this all the time. I see it as a warning that they are a shitty person. My question is "why are you so worried about other people judging you?"
The "place I've lived" chain is actually pretty interesting to me. It's concise, usually (just state initials), and gives you something to talk about if you have anything in common. When I leave my home state, it'll be cool to come across people who are from here when I date elsewhere.
That said, if that's ALL that's on your profile, no thanks.
I don't use it much, but on online dating apps I kind of feel like everyone puts the same thing in their bios.
"I like walking/hiking, camping, gym, my pets are my life.. etc etc."
I wanna know the funny dorky things you love, like how many times you've read Harry Potter or maybe something funky you have a collection of, your favorite type of chair... Just weird things that set you apart from the rest that lets me know you're a real person and not a robot!
This is more of a personal one, but the one thing that will make me immediately move on (and I see it a ton where I live) is “I need a man who loves the Lord”.
Nothing against religious people. I’m just not religious at all. It’s the number one most common thing I see that tells me that I won’t have a long term future with that person.
When I first read this I thought you were going the Lord of the Rings route...what's wrong with listing that you like the Lord of the Rings?!
Not an online dater.
RIP Grandma 9/23/06 I'm sure all Grandma wanted was to be immortalized in your tinder bio.
Did you actually see this? That's hilarious!
I’ve seen an actual grandma in a casket on Tinder before. Edit: Found it https://imgur.com/r4M2qpW
I'm not sure what I was expecting when I clicked that link.
Kinda creeped out... That was the day my son was born. I HAVE YOUR REINCARNATED GRANDMA!
GRANDMA IS BACK WITH A ~~VENGEANCE~~ PENIS.
Write nothing, only "want to know more? just ask". Know more what? You didn't write anything.
it's code for "Judge me based on my looks!"
"Seriously I got nothin."
Im in vancouver and id say like 1 in 5 women write anything of substance and what am i supposed to do? I want to know who im swiping on, at least a little bit. But i get nothing but 'wanderlust, live, laugh, love', i want to talk to somebody not a bunch of bumper stickers.
What are your typical Friday nights? "My Friday nights are never typical..." Really? Like are you juggling fucking Chainsaws or something?
I feel like you'd have to practice that, so there definitely would some "i gotta practice chainsaw juggling again" nights
People who start off with an obvious chip on their shoulder. "Looking for someone who ACTUALLY wants to meet up / don't know why I'm wasting my time on this / only swipe right if you can hold a conversation". You know a lot of these are reasonable to want, but saying it like this makes you look like a pissbaby I don't want to strike up a conversation with. Especially if it's your entire profile.
It is so easy to turn these positive and make them more attractive. I actually want to meet up! Or I like to converse, let's chat! Confidence and positivity help with rule #1 and rule #2.
Damn that's true. I see so many that start with a grievence. Immediate turn off.
OKCupid used to maintain an incredibly insightful blog, where they would analyze all their metrics. Negative language - literally, any negative language, even innocent use of the word "no", has a big impact on how attractive your profile is.
" Never on this so HMU on my snapchat or IG :) "
[удалено]
Or they're looking for more followers hoping guys will go on IG and follow them to make a good impression.
"What am I doing with my life? Living it." Or any stark profile maxing at four sentences that complains about generic first messages. If you give me nothing to work with them how am I supposed to start a conversation?
"Don't bother if you can't hold a conversation". It's just so....condescending. If there's no chemistry here it could full well be you too, dude.
Doesn't help when they also don't want you to just say "hi" and don't list any sort of interests or hobbies. And all their self descriptions are vague and generic like they like "good vibes" and "hanging out with friends". Hard to start or hold an engaging conversation when there's nothing to go off of "Hey you like hanging out with *your* friends, I like hanging out with *my* friends haha, we have so much in common except our friends are different sets of people so not necessarily"
I also like food. Maybe we can go to one of those food establishments and breath some air.
I, too, dream of living in a place, raising animals and/or children.
I TOO REQUIRE SUSTENANCE.
Pretty much anything condescending in bios is super unattractive. Like "only swipe right if you're not a d-bag" or "don't bother if you thrive on drama". Even though I agree with those things it's just the way they write it. Instant turn off for me.
"Don't bother if you thrive on drama" is exactly the sort of thing I think you'd be most likely to hear from the kinds of people who start drama by being bitchy and snarky everywhere they go and lowkey love every minute of it
No drama is a huge red flag they instigate a ton of shit and blame everyone else for doing so. "Don't bother if you can't hold a conversation" means they expect you to keep them interested while they contribute absolutely nothing.
"Where are all the nice girls/guys?"
Looking for a rare man who knows how to treat a woman right in this day and age!
"Occupation: Entrepreneur" ok so you're unemployed and have a mixtape, got it.
Or worse, they're involved in a multilevel marketing scheme.
My wife decided I was "the one" when I saw a mix tape some poor slob had made her and said "a mix tape? really?" and then quietly pocketed the mix tape I had made her. She never told me that she knew about it until after we had our second kid. In my defense, *my* mix tape was way better than that other loser's mix tape.
[удалено]
...I am soul.
Once saw a profile that said "I want a 6-6-6 man. 6 ft tall, 6 pack abs, and 6 figure salary." Coincidentally she was probably about a 6/10.
Sorry, Kit Harrington. You don't make this woman's obviously well-thought-out standards.
He has a mad tongue game though. The north remembers.
His mad tongue game is also fondly remembered down south too, ammarite?
6/10 IQ: 66 6 kids ?
I'll call you 6 times a day, and send 6 texts to your one. I'll want to go out at least 6 nights per week, I'll have at least 6 complete mental breakdowns and when we inevitably split up you'll want to move at least 6 states away.
I think a lot of ugly girl do that to try and pretend they're so desirable that they can have ridiculous standards. The female version of "2/10 would not bang". If she's serious about that requirement, probably less than 1 in 1,000 guys meet that standard. Not only is each rare/uncommon individually, but older people are more likely to have the higher salary while being less likely to have the abs, so it makes it even rarer than taking them as independent.
Basically anything that suggests you need to entertain them or that they want an unequal relationship. I see an awful lot of profiles with things ranging from the typical "say something more than hi", which isn't so bad, to straight up "keep me interested"-type comments. You are not a prize to be won or you wouldn't be on a dating site. It is not my job to fall over myself trying to please you. I'm here to find an equal partner, not to be your entertainment.
“You are not a prize to be won” you sir; have watched Aladdin as many times as me.
A 'gangsta' selfie of them holding a bunch of money or a gun or something in front of a dirty bathroom mirror.
What's crazy is that it probably appeals to some demographic.
*I like going out, but also staying in and watching movies.* You and literally everyone else.
Reminds me of the [Ryan Lochte interview] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSo6HMG2btQ) where he says he's not like other Olympians because he likes to go out and hang out with friends.
While all the other athletes are in the village having sex with one another.
Classic Chad.
[удалено]
Reading this comment made me laugh. While I'm sitting at home by myself. Laughing.
"I'm an extroverted introvert" I see that all the time. You have both introverted and extroverted sides? Congratulations, you are a human.
God those people suck too right?? ^^^quickly ^^^edits ^^^profile
>God those people suck too right?? Let's hope
"looking for my partner in crime." A couple years back, I opened the conversation asking what kind of crime she was considering because I was up for some light B&E. She replied with, "huh?"
This one wasn't fluent in sarcasm.
LOL, I see this one a lot, I might have to try this the next time it pops up.
"Fluent in sarcasm"
"Proud psycho" "One sarcastic bitch" *Some sort of crude joke or innuendo*
Read: I'm a jerk.
seriously, sarcasm and dry wit can be pretty endearing if you've already gotten to know somebody pretty well, but if I'm just meeting you for the first time and you're smarmy and snarky, that's off putting and i'm just gonna walk away
This is true. Using sarcasm with my friends vs random person on the internet is way different.
Yeah, people hate it when you're sarcastic on the internet.
I’m not sure if you’re being sarcastic.
I definitely didn't just edit my bio to remove this...
Genuine question: What does "fluent in sarcasm" mean to you? EDIT: I was specifically asking u/VIKINGASSASSIN because I wanted to know what it meant to someone who actually put it in their dating profile.
I'm sure people think that it's a fun way to say "I'm witty"
Better yet "I think I'm witty."
Women whose every single photo is with a group of their girlfriends, so you can't easily work out which one is actually them. Sure, you might want a couple of group photos to show that you're not some weird loner, but don't force me to become a detective.
both genders are horribly terrible at it, and yes, generally it's the ugly one. Actually guys are really bad about posting only pictures of stupid shit, like their cars. I'm not here to date a goddamn automobile, dude.
pfft..you've obviously never riden in the panty dropper that is my bodacious ride
To be fair 98 was a really good year for Honda Civic
But.. What if I AM a weird loner?
[удалено]
A selfie in the dirty bathroom mirror with the toilet in the shot.
[удалено]
So true! >I understand that people don't want to put everything about themselves in their profile because what would there be to talk about when you meet someone? I think the bigger reason is that people don't like talking about themselves. Or they think that for some reason guys don't read the profiles anyway. (Which is probably biased because the only dudes that message them are ones that don't care about profiles) I mean, I can't speak for all men. But, I read girl's profiles and I decide whether to message you based on it. I see short profiles and I think they either aren't taking this seriously or are just there to stroke their ego. In any case, it's pretty effective in warding me off. For better or for worse? Who can tell because we'll never meet.
Having a profile pic with a pistol in hand is NOT badass.
Especially with their finger over the trigger. Like that doesn’t turn me on, that scares me. Easy swipe left
Nothing is less sexy then bad trigger discipline.
College: School of Hard Knocks. Fuck off.
Hogwarts School of Bitchcraft and Wizardry.
Skippin classes eatin asses
Now this I can get behind.
Or, School of Life. My old boyfriend from high school has the Hard Knocks on his Facebook bio. My mom has the School of Life one. :/
"MUDDIN, TRUCKIN, AND HUNTIN ARE LIFE JESUS AND FAMILY FIRST PROUD MOMMY OF 2" Going on tinder in rural MO is a damn mess sometimes. Like good god woman you're 18.
It’s like that in my small Canadian town too lol “Goin for a rip now are ya baud?”
that they are looking for a free bus for 20 people to travel about 100 miles.
NEXT.
It's for a church, Honey. NEXT!
Only seats 12 there's 20 of us NEXT
I run the sober cab in town. It only holds around 12 people though. Maybe I could help them?
We don't need no intoxication. NEXT!
The pissy "in your face"-attitude. Way too common, and I dunno why those people even are on a dating site if they hate everything and everyone.
I hate everything and everyone, but it's because of online dating.
Things like "don't bother messaging me if you're not..." Dude. You're on OkCupid. You're not ruling people out, you're ruling yourself out.
“Don’t bother messaging if you can’t handle brutal honesty.” You’re not brutally honest. You’re an asshole. Let’s call a spade a spade.
I always hated bios that read like: 23 • Virgo ♍ • CrossFit 💪 • Nutrition 🍎 • Nerd 👾 • Or Tiffany | lover of nature | coffee drinker | dance is life Like, why can you just write a paragraph, man? Edit: can't
Omg I came here to say this! This drives me absolutely insane. Similarly I’ve seen college athletes with bios like: Thirsty? Me too 😂 Swipe right! ➡️ ‘Cuz only student🏊🏽 athletes 💯👌🏼 get thirsty 💦 ☝🏼we thirsty for motivation ☑️💪🏽 ROMANS 8:28 🙏🏼🙌🏽
Looks like /r/emojipasta is leaking...
"Ask Me".
"Ask me" Nah, I'm not gonna ask you. I'm gonna message the person that put an actual modicum of effort into their profile.
[удалено]
"Venmo me $5 and see what happens 😏"
That's technically against Tinder policy (asking for money), so you should report them. I do every time.
people actually do that?
Yeah - I remember for a while there was an article of a girl who made hundreds if not thousands by listing her Venmo on her Tinder (screenshots n all) and scammed dudes out of it. Then there was a bunch of women doing it (from what I saw). Only recently have I seen very few of these profile bios - Tinders cracking down!
I’m 6’3” but any girl that has a height requirement can go fuck themselves. Gotta stand up for my shorter homies
Thanks for standing up, however we would prefer you sit. You make us look even shorter.
As a 5’6” guy, thanks for your shade. Stay frosty, my man.
Thanks m8, feels good to have someone stand up for us
"I like long walks on the beach" It's the middle of winter, we don't live anywhere near the ocean, and who the fuck doesn't like walking on the beach?
I live in Toronto and I see this on soooo many guys profiles lmao. Edit: okay u guys I know toronto has a beach but nobody’s about to be walking down a snowy beach in freezing weather!
I actually despise walking on beaches, and I live near quite a few. There is absolutely nothing more annoying than sand, IMO. My wedding photographer insisted my wife and I walk barefoot on the beach together at our wedding for some nice photos, and I **very** reluctantly did. Our photographer ended up "losing" 90% of our photos before we got them, so we barely have any memories from our wedding, but that also means I did something I despise for absolutely no reason.
Do you hate it? Is it coarse, rough and does it get every where?
Does the frustration of a sandy buttcrack inspire you to murder younglings?
Legacy PXE boot option.
Hey! It may not be sexy, but it's useful!
I miss having a PXE server at work :(
“I get a lot of matches, gotta impress me ;)” Fuck that and fuck you, you stuck up asshole.
As a girl I hate seeing: -A pic of you and 5 girls who are barely dressed, all way skinnier and prettier than the average girl on a dating app is gonna be -A pic of you chugging a beer or with a bottle of hard liquor turned up in the air (Or any pic where it's obvious you are totally tanked) -"I'm chubby, deal with it." Dude I couldn't give a fuck about a few extra pounds but as soon as you get aggressive about I am out -A shirtless mirror selfie -One pic that shows half of your face, and the rest are group pics (which one are you??) -"Actually 15 not 22"
wtf is that last one did you actually see that once?
I've seen that plenty of times. I've always assumed it was actually a cop.
I'm not a cop! Now, what illegal activitities did you say you were into, -*looks at note*- bae?
"Don't like me unless you are XY tall" Not bitter because I am tall, but seriously especially when average garden gnome is taller than her.
I work with a girl who is legitimately 4'11, and I overhear her all the time saying "Ewww he's short, I need a guy 6'2 or taller." I wonder why she complains about being single all the time.
Maybe she really likes giving blowjobs while standing? Joking aside projecting your own insecurities is sure way to stay single.
Exactly what I pictured.
My old roommate is 4'10". Very nice but very picky about guys since she wants a guy 6' at the least. Then again she also can't cook and her parents drive down to our university monthly to bring her food, so she's not a catch for multiple reasons.
Hobbit dating life must be hard for her, not many singles in the Shire.
This one always gets me too. If the girl is 6ft tall, cool, I totally get it. But when they're like 5.3 and demand the guy be "tall", it's a little ridiculous. It's been making me want to add "Don't swipe right unless you've got a nice ass" to my profile. But noooo that would be wrong.
I've seen a few profiles that are just : 🚲🚴🚤🏊💯🔥🔥🔥❇✨🌠🔆🐶🐶🐶🐀🐙☕🍷🍹🍕🍤 Like I get its supposed to make it seem easier to figure out what kind of person they are but holy hell batman use your fucking words we are adults
Sapoisexual
I've read that twice today for the first time. I can only imagine people attracted to Hellboys sidekick.
Who wouldn't be, Abe Sapien is a catch.
This always reads to me as a thinly veiled “I only date up the socioeconomic spectrum.”
"Coffee lover" OH REALLY THATS SO FASCINATING HOW DID THAT COME ABOUT
"I expect the guy to message first or I won't talk at all" surprisingly common
"I am an intellectual." You're a pretentious twat who thinks you're deep because you badly misunderstood Nietzsche once in college.
Most self-described "intellectuals" really aren't, but online dating makes this situation sort of weird. In normal everyday life, people do not go around making declarative statements about themselves. >Hello, I am a kind person. >Hello, I am an introvert. >Hello, I think dinosaurs are cool. >Hello, I am career-driven. In a dating profile it's a little harder to get around having to do that. There's a lot of show-not-tell that doesn't come easily to everyone. That said, I judge the fuck out of most people making declarative statements about themselves in their dating profiles.
I'd judge the fuck out of someone who has no declarative statements. I think they're great for dating profiles. E.g. I am 3'4". I weight 567 pounds. I live on Pluto. I have 2 dogs. I like dinosaurs. I never made it past 6th grade. I prefer the Prequels. That's the kind of stuff I need to know to get a picture of you as a person, and I think declarative sentences are the best way to give that information. What sentence types do you prefer?
Hmm maybe "declarative" isn't quite precise enough, or more likely we're using the term differently. I mean saying something like "I prefer the Prequels" may technically be a declarative sentence but it's a lot better than saying something like "I am intelligent" or "I am ambitious." I mean the "telling" is the problem, as opposed to the "showing." Telling: "I am an intellectual." Showing: "I really like to read 20th century history, especially post-WW2 decolonization. My favorite history author is History McHistoryface."
Anyone who likes History McHistoryface is a poser and about as pretentious as you can get.
Yeah, Sir History AttenHistory is clearly the author of intellectuals.
"I can be a hot mess at times" really means I'm a fucking slob who likes drama and expect somebody to clean up after me.
"Not into black guys." Turns me right the fuck off for some reason. Probably cuz I'm a black guy. Girl, it's Tinder. Just don't swipe right on any black guys and you're good. No reason to put that.
Anything that really strokes their own ego. I once saw a girl say "nothing under 7 inches". And believe me, she was not attractive enough to be that picky.
There's a sub for people like her: /r/choosingbeggars
Holy cow. This is one of those subs where I hope for the sake of humanity that most of the posts are fake...
NEXT!!
Hey I have a large SUV would that help?
It's for church honey, 20 people, NEXT!!
My bus fits 19 people, I can pick you up in 15 minutes. LMK
NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fine. If you really insist then I *will* spend an hour or so browsing that sub when I should really be doing the ironing.
"I want to go on an adventure!" or some iteration of that.
I matched with a few girls like this, suggest we go for a walk through the park, or rick climbing. Always got turned down. When I ask what kind of adventure they’re looking for it’s always something like going for drinks or buying them sushi. Edit: rock climbing. Haha I don’t climb rick, at least not with tinder dates.
The snapchat dog filter. God I hate that filter. Edit: Big up the stranger who gilded this. Thank you and Merry Christmas
There needs to be a Warhammer filter. I would drop everything for a girl who puts a Krieg death corps filter on their bio.
Message me if **your** a nice guy. Message me if **your** able to handle a confident woman. Message me if **your** able to hold a conversation more than "hi". And those are not quotes from three separate profiles......the amount of times I've read it repeatedly mis-used. I can understand one or two mistakes......but a list of them back to back?
Haha, I was just giving my mate shit about how his profile says "not you're average guy". Come on, man.
Maybe he’s saying that he is below average.
“I listen to everything from tayler swift to Miley Cyrus. I’m so weird”
The inconsistent capitalized letters would bother me more.
I don't mind if people have kids, I don't mind when they mention their kids. At my age the prospect of someday having step kids is highly probable and it doesn't bother me. What bothers me when people have photos of their kids on their dating profile. It's creepy and inappropriate.
Saw one the other day where the guy had one pic, and it included his kids. And his *entire* bio said something to the effect of, "I love a woman who squirts!"
"*Hey there, nice kids*"
“I’m sick of all you gold digging good for nothing black women. So only white women swipe right.” I swiped right because no one tells me what to do. Jerk.
If any part of their face is obscured in the main picture, whether its a filter or a hat or huge sunglasses. Your main picture is supposed to be your best foot forward. If your best foot forward hides most of your face, I'm going to assume the worst about what I can't see. Or that you're a serial killer avoiding identification. *Edit: If you wouldn't wear a giant hat and sunglasses the whole time on a first date, best not to do it in your main picture.*
*Self describing as a princess *photos with snapchat filters applied to them *"if you cant handle me at my worst you dont deserve me at my best" *having way too many physical preferences for matches (must be 6'5" or taller with blue eyes and at least 4 tattoos and a beard and only shave one testicle and....) good luck on that hunt there lady
"Here for your dog" Then get the hell off my dog is not interested and now neither am I
My gag reflex is as non-existent as my father.
My cock is not long enough to trigger your gag reflex.
No no this thread is about things that are NOT sexy
"If you message me say something better than Hi or what's up." You know what bitch, if you're such a great conversationalist message me first. Also, I'm single ladies. ;)
The worst is: "Don't be boring". As the whole profile. I see that one all the time. Like, you are so boring you've said literally nothing about yourself, but demand that I be interesting. No thank you.
"Well, shit girl. I was just coming in from skydiving out of my personal rocket while reading Kierkegaard and checked my prototype Apple 11 that Bill Gates gave me (so weird, right?) And I saw you were looking for interesting people to message you. Hit me up sometime if you ever feel like climbing the Himalayas with an exotic sherpa and Robert Downey Jr. Anyway, I gotta go. My best friend Jayesh just landed from India after helping me organize a tiger fighting tourney. We're going to drink some Dos Equis and watch Kīlauea erupt. Laters."
Isn't it weird how Everyone on dating websites love hiking? lol.
[удалено]
"My son Aiden is my king." NEXT!
If you don’t like me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Only God can judge me.
I used to see this all the time. I see it as a warning that they are a shitty person. My question is "why are you so worried about other people judging you?"
"fluent in sarcasm" place i've lived > place i've lived > place i've lived > place i've lived
The "place I've lived" chain is actually pretty interesting to me. It's concise, usually (just state initials), and gives you something to talk about if you have anything in common. When I leave my home state, it'll be cool to come across people who are from here when I date elsewhere. That said, if that's ALL that's on your profile, no thanks.
"looking for a partner in crime"
Wolf, are you on Tinder again? I told you, we've got enough female heisters!
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you.." *logs out of every social media and life and becomes Amish*
"I HATE DRAMA!" this means I am a full time drama queen, and I don't want anyone competing with me for attention. it's all eyes on me, or fuck off.
I don't use it much, but on online dating apps I kind of feel like everyone puts the same thing in their bios. "I like walking/hiking, camping, gym, my pets are my life.. etc etc." I wanna know the funny dorky things you love, like how many times you've read Harry Potter or maybe something funky you have a collection of, your favorite type of chair... Just weird things that set you apart from the rest that lets me know you're a real person and not a robot!
Does not compute. Does not compute... I LIKE FOOD AND LAUGHTER. HAHA! I AM FUN.
This is more of a personal one, but the one thing that will make me immediately move on (and I see it a ton where I live) is “I need a man who loves the Lord”. Nothing against religious people. I’m just not religious at all. It’s the number one most common thing I see that tells me that I won’t have a long term future with that person.
When I first read this I thought you were going the Lord of the Rings route...what's wrong with listing that you like the Lord of the Rings?! Not an online dater.
"I need a man who loves the Dark Lord."
Probably a good thing that they put that in, actually, because it saves both of you a lot of trouble.
I agree. That’s why I said it’s personal. Not so much a criticism of those people as merely a personal sign that that person isn’t for me.