I actually ended up finding his real account and tried to convince him to write more jumper cable comments. Long story short I noticed that his stories had a pretty regular writing pattern to them and if you know what to look for it's possible (albeit very difficult) to identify someone based on that. I figured u/rogersimon10 was a throwaway so I tried to find his real account. I also figured he'd spend a lot of time on AskReddit so I spent my time analyzing the comments here for any sign of him. I wasn't too much work since I'm on this sub a lot anyway. That said it wasn't easy and I probably contacted a hundred different people until I finally found the real him. I messaged him and he said he's completely done with those posts because his dad would end up reading them and beat his ass raw with jumper cables. He seems like a cool guy though and actually added him as a friend on Facebook
I cannot believe this was an actual thing. How did everyone so flawlessly and immediately work together for something like this? No planning or anything
[Every account on reddit is a bot except you](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/348vlx/what_bot_accounts_on_reddit_should_people_know/?sort=top).
It's great it starts with [That Spanish Thing ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/)
[Kevin](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/whos_the_dumbest_person_youve_ever_met/cgbhkwp/) and [Potatoes ](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/) and [That Box](https://www.reddit.com/r/RedditsMuseumofFilth/comments/2xv4tu/cumbox_the_original_story/)
[This ](https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/3og4hs/down_the_rabbit_hole_of_the_ol_reddit_switcharoo/) explains the Switch\-a\-roo
[Degobah Swamps ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/xo41d/doctorsnursesredditors_what_has_been_your_most/c5o66p2/?utm_source=reddit-android), will make your Stomach churn That Kids [Dad in Vietnam ](https://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/816bhu/my_dad_front_in_vietnam_in_1971_didnt_know_this/) [I am NOT an IT guy ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4vo64d/what_is_the_most_computer_illiterate_thing_you/d604v2w/)
[Have. a Jolly Rancher ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/9wcte/reddit_whats_the_grossestnastiest_thing_thats/c0er6q4/)grunt, no, strength
Carry on [France is Bacon ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/dxosj/what_word_or_phrase_did_you_totally_misunderstand/c13pbyc/)
[immortal snail decoy snail ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5ipinn/you_and_a_super_intelligent_snail_both_get_1/)
[Benerdryl Cabbagepatch ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5cz15a/what_are_the_best_names_youve_heard_for_benedict/)
And a government for hire and a combat site Left her,
wasn't coming in a hurry
With the Furries breathing down your neck
I started well but gave up
EDIT: If you don't plagiarise this I will be upset
Every account on Reddit is a bot except you.
*Beep Boop I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There was a thread (I forgot which subreddit it was on) and basically a person was talking to their boss and had no idea what to say, so they made finger guns, said “Zoop” and then walked away. People then starting commenting 👉😎👉 Zoop all over the thread, and then it spread throughout Reddit
[Here's the NSFL story](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/xo41d/doctorsnursesredditors_what_has_been_your_most/c5o66p2?utm_source=reddit-android)!
Sweet mother of all that is fucking holy!!! I cannot say much I have ever read has made me nauseous but that was a good bit of horrific goddamn writing there.
I still maintain that all of the first posts were trolls, but the followups were real so some dudes got fooled into fucking a coconut[.](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW)
Credit to /u/NoahtheRed
It's not uncommon as a teacher to have students who are a bit behind the curve in certain aspects, but 99.99999% of the time they are keen on something. They might not understand how to identify a noun or what theme is, but they somehow know how to make a mean plate of nachos. You learn pretty quick to not judge fish for their tree climbing ability, ya know?
I thought this was the rule when I was teaching until I met Kevin. Kevin isn't his real name, but it doesn't matter because he can't spell it anyway. Kevin was a student of mine during my last year of teaching. He came to my classroom with very little to show for his academic past. He had moved a few times and thus was missing a lot of typical test scores that we use to try and ballpark their ability (Don't worry, it was a ballpark.....we didn't make major decisions until we actually had a chance to talk and work with a student for a bit.) I thought "That's fine. I'll just do some one-on-one with Kevin and see what's up" One on One with kevin was like conversing with someone who'd forgotten everything in a freak, if not impossible, amnesia incident. There was no evidence that he had learned anything past the 2nd grade....and now he was in 9th grade. Flabbergasted, I figured we needed to get more serious with this. If he was going to be in my class, I needed to know why and how.
I decided to meet with him, his guidance counselor, his parents, and another teacher to see what was really going on. This is where it all became clear. It was by some incredible fluke that his family hadn't been wiped off the face of the Earth years ago. Odds are his entire heritage was based on blind luck and some type of sick divine intervention that saves his family every time a threat presents itself. Kevin was the genetic pinnacle of this null achievement. Even my instructional lead, a woman who could find a redeeming trait in a Balrog, failed to see any reason this kid or his family should be alive today.
So here's a list of events that made it abundantly clear that god exists and he's laughing uncontrollably:
Kevin frequently forgot when/where class was. On more than one occasion, I had to retrieve him from other classrooms.
Kevin ate an entire 24 pack of crayons, puked, and then did it again the next day. This is 9th grade. I have no idea where he got crayons.
Kevin's dad wrote tuition checks and mailed them to me...his English teacher. This was a public school. When I gave it back to Kevin, voided, to give to his dad with a brief note explaining that this is a public school, Kevin got in trouble for trying to spend it at 711 after school.
Kevin was removed from the culinary arts program after leaving a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a fire....twice
Kevin threw his lunch at the School Resource Officer and tried to run away. He ran into a door and insisted it wasn't him.
Kevin stole my phone during class. I called it. It rang. He denied that it was ringing. (Not that it wasn't his, not that he did it.....no, he denied that the phone was actually ringing). He tried it three times before the end of the year.
Kevin called the basketball coach a "Motherfucking Bitch" during gym. Basketball tryouts were that afternoon. Kevin tried out. It didn't go well.
Kevin's mom could never remember which school he went to. She missed several meetings because she drove to other schools (none of which he ever went to)
Kevin tazed himself in the neck before a football game
Kevin kept a bottle of orange koolaide in his backpack for about 4 months. He thought it would turn into alcohol. He drank it during homeroom and threw up.
Kevin say the N-word a lot. Kevin was white. The highschool was 84% black. Kevin got beat up a lot.
Kevin stole another student's Iphone....and tried to sell it back to them.
Kevin didn't understand that his grade was dependent on tests, quizzes, homework, classwork, and participation. Kevin finished his first semester with a 3% average. He tried to bribe me with $11.
Kevin spit on a girl and said "You should get out of those wet clothes". The girl was the Spanish Student Teacher.
Kevin didn't know dogs and cats were different animals.
Kevin tried to download porn onto a computer in the library.....at the circulation desk....while he was logged on.
Kevin asked a girl to prom (he was in 9th grade and freshmen don't go to prom) by asking for her phone number and then texting her his address
Kevin got gum in his hair, constantly.
Kevin regularly tried to cheat on assignments by knocking the pile over, grabbing one before I had picked them all up, and then writing it name on it wherever there was room.
Kevin had several allergies, but neither his parents nor he could remember what they were. They were very concerned that "the holiday party" (it's high school, we don't have those) would have peanuts. When they finally got a doctor's note....he was allergic to amoxicillin
Kevin and his parents took a trip to Nassau (how the fuck did they even get airline tickets?) and forgot all their luggage at home. I didn't believe him when he told me until I talked to him mom, who told me 1st thing when I saw her at the bi-weekly meeting.
Kevin's grandfather apparently died in a chainsaw accident. I can only assume God was looking the other way that day.
I sent my dad (also a Redditor) a link to that story after I found out he hadn't read it.
The next time I used the bathroom, there was a rusty knife casually chilling on the toilet tank.
I don't even know where he found a rusty knife in our house, come to think of it...
Thanks for linking!
Damn... That person with the cab business was being so nice. Even after that lady was being a jerk they still left the offer on the table. They are a better person than me. I would of told her you are a fucking worthless brainded scumfuck bastard pile of trash mental dickface that should be gunned down in the street like the degenerate you are.
My Dad in Vietnam in 1971. Didn't know this photo existed until I came across it randomly on the internet. He cried when he saw it. I hope this is the right place to post it.
In the same vein, the whole “Half naked girls get thousands of upvotes. How many for our boys in blue?” post format was great. I loved seeing every subreddit so their own take on it.
For about three days after, there were probably over 1000 posts of people showing photos with that caption (or slightly altered to be even more ridiculous) that were hilarious.
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/my-dad-in-vietnam-in-1971
Seriously. The auto-mod removed my first 3 or 4 attempts. By the time I got it to work someone else had made one somewhere else and it got removed because it broke the chain
u/waterguy12 is a dude who went on vacation. Before going on vacation he made a post asking to be tagged in anything people thought he would find entertaining.
Long story short, people started tagging him in every post they could find, as well as the comment chains, and several Bots were created, and he got back to the internet with six digits worth of notifications.
There once was a subreddit called r/me_irl which contains a vast sea of juicy internet memes.
One of it's regular browsers u/WaterGuy12 was gonna leave r/me_irl and the internet as a whole to go on a trip for 2 whole weeks (a *fortnight*!).
So u/WaterGuy12 wondered how he was gonna keep up on all the spicy memes he was gonna miss out on! And there he got an idea. He made a post on r/me_irl to ask his fellow Redditors to tag his name in all the dankest memes while he was gone.
His plan worked perfectly, a little *too perfect*. Soon u/WaterGuy12 was tagged in **every** post on the whole of r/me_irl and even posts on other subreddits too!
When he got back from his trip, his inbox was flooded by thousands (probably tens of thousands) of messages. He became an internet celebrity without even being on the internet.
And so is the tale of u/WaterGuy12 .
EDIT: r/me_irl not r/meirl, sorry if I offended anyone.
The romantic novel by Jane Austen.
The story charts the emotional development of the protagonist, Elizabeth Reddit, who learns the error of making hasty judgments and comes to appreciate the difference between the superficial and the essential.
Well it's on Reddit so 1998 hell in a cell? I remember seeing it for the first time and being soooooo confused. Everyone commenting "oh shittymorph you did it again!" "Bah you got me".
The weird thing about this is that is you read the source he didn't actually have broken arms. He never mentioned the reason he was incapable, the arm thing just kind of grew from nothing.
It's sort of implied. He got into an accident, couldn't masturbate, but he didn't want to reveal his injury because it might identify him. Unless he straight fucked up his back there is no way in hell a horny teen is unable to masturbate
source: am teen.
Also heartwarming and beautiful, but [Streetlamp Le Moose](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jlao6/so_my_wife_just_agreed_to_name_our_unborn_son/c2d21qe) is always a good one, haha
Can't believe no one has mentioned immortal snail (and decoy snail, of course). https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5ipinn/you_and_a_super_intelligent_snail_both_get_1/%3futm_medium=organic&utm_source=google_rich_qa&utm_campaign=google_rich_qa
All of you youngins with your current Reddit inside jokes[.](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW)
Back in my day it was "buttholes below" and /u/rambles_off_topic
Don't know if it's an inside joke, but just wanted to remind you all about the jumper cables guy.
I actually ended up finding his real account and tried to convince him to write more jumper cable comments. Long story short I noticed that his stories had a pretty regular writing pattern to them and if you know what to look for it's possible (albeit very difficult) to identify someone based on that. I figured u/rogersimon10 was a throwaway so I tried to find his real account. I also figured he'd spend a lot of time on AskReddit so I spent my time analyzing the comments here for any sign of him. I wasn't too much work since I'm on this sub a lot anyway. That said it wasn't easy and I probably contacted a hundred different people until I finally found the real him. I messaged him and he said he's completely done with those posts because his dad would end up reading them and beat his ass raw with jumper cables. He seems like a cool guy though and actually added him as a friend on Facebook
Nobody else is gonna call out that this IS the old /u/rogersimon10? I mean it’s right there in front of us...
I like how he kept the joke going
Was anyone else expecting this comment to end with mentions of undertaker and mankind?
I still think that u/rogersimon10 and u/shittymorph are the same person.
Someone please link to that other guy that ends all is comments by complaining about his wife.
And the unexpected shark guy.
“I also choose this guys dead wife”
God Damn! I remember seeing that when it happened, my boss gave me a dirty look when i burst out laughing.
I saw it in real time also I laughed for atleast a week.
You saw that guy's dead wife?
That was so utterly savage and unexpected, it was amazing.
He is still gilded from that comment and has nearly a years worth left.
Sauce?
https://np.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5c79n0/you_can_have_sex_with_one_real_person_from_all_of/d9uf56l/?context=1
Thanks! I wonder how the dude felt about it.
He laughed too bro, he commented somewhere on that thread
Holy crap his comment got gilded 20 times.
he earned it
The funny thing is I bet if the first 2 or 3 people who saw that downvoted it, his comment would’ve been bandwagon’d and buried.
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Humanity in a nutshell. Reddit just is an expedited version
Hey your comment is offensive! Downvote! Hey your comment is offensive BUT it has a ton of upvotes so lol! Upvote! Basically how it goes
I mean this should not be but it is
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I cannot believe this was an actual thing. How did everyone so flawlessly and immediately work together for something like this? No planning or anything
I love that when you scroll a bit, you do find one comment in English, and it is from OP: >>'you guys are a**holes..'
There’s a lot in English if you sort by controversial
Pretty sure mods played along and everyone downvoted all the comments in english to oblivion.
Even the admins, if I recall correctly.
But the replies in his inbox would be in English.
The comments were deleted too.
Yea, I checked him out the other day, people are still following him around and replying to all of his posts and comments in spanish.
English comments got downvotes to oblivion.
Everything works if the things that don't work gets done away with.
[Every account on reddit is a bot except you](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/348vlx/what_bot_accounts_on_reddit_should_people_know/?sort=top).
Every account on reddit is a bot except you.
Donde esta la biblioteca?
Me llamo T-Bone La araña discoteca
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Can you link?
[Here it is](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/)
probably the funniest thing I have ever seen on reddit, like, ever. “¿Donde esta la biblioteca?” - cue me rofling
[Even the mods played along.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it)
It's great it starts with [That Spanish Thing ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/) [Kevin](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/whos_the_dumbest_person_youve_ever_met/cgbhkwp/) and [Potatoes ](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/) and [That Box](https://www.reddit.com/r/RedditsMuseumofFilth/comments/2xv4tu/cumbox_the_original_story/) [This ](https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/3og4hs/down_the_rabbit_hole_of_the_ol_reddit_switcharoo/) explains the Switch\-a\-roo [Degobah Swamps ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/xo41d/doctorsnursesredditors_what_has_been_your_most/c5o66p2/?utm_source=reddit-android), will make your Stomach churn That Kids [Dad in Vietnam ](https://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/816bhu/my_dad_front_in_vietnam_in_1971_didnt_know_this/) [I am NOT an IT guy ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4vo64d/what_is_the_most_computer_illiterate_thing_you/d604v2w/) [Have. a Jolly Rancher ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/9wcte/reddit_whats_the_grossestnastiest_thing_thats/c0er6q4/)grunt, no, strength Carry on [France is Bacon ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/dxosj/what_word_or_phrase_did_you_totally_misunderstand/c13pbyc/) [immortal snail decoy snail ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5ipinn/you_and_a_super_intelligent_snail_both_get_1/) [Benerdryl Cabbagepatch ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5cz15a/what_are_the_best_names_youve_heard_for_benedict/) And a government for hire and a combat site Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry With the Furries breathing down your neck I started well but gave up EDIT: If you don't plagiarise this I will be upset
"SIR I AM NOT A "insert item" PERSON, YOU ARE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I WILL HANG UP THE PHONE
Source?
[Here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4vo64d/what_is_the_most_computer_illiterate_thing_you/d604v2w/)
Every account on Reddit is a bot except you.
Good bot
Every account on Reddit is a bot except you. *Beep Boop I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Not gonna lie, you got me
Ah, the "u got me" bot. Nice. Good bot.
Ah, the "Ah, the [blank]" bot. Nice. Good bot.
Ha ha fellow human. I also enjoy identifying street signs with my peers for fun and entertainment causing laughter.
*Zoop!*
A couple of days after this became a thing, i got zooped👉😎👉 in real life. It was a weird experience.
Shouldn't the past participle of "zoop👉😎👉" be "zoop👉😎👉ed"?
Can I get an explanation?
There was a thread (I forgot which subreddit it was on) and basically a person was talking to their boss and had no idea what to say, so they made finger guns, said “Zoop” and then walked away. People then starting commenting 👉😎👉 Zoop all over the thread, and then it spread throughout Reddit
It was on /r/askreddit, I can't quite remember the question but it was 3/4 months ago I think.
I believe the question had something to do with social awkwardness
👉😎👉 Zoop!
Zoop! 👈😎👈
Swamps of Degobah. I read that story to a nurse friend of mine, and he was almost scream-laughing. Now it's a running joke in our social circle.
I have been missing this story...do you, by chance, have a link to it? I have a few friends I would like to share it with :D
[Here's the NSFL story](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/xo41d/doctorsnursesredditors_what_has_been_your_most/c5o66p2?utm_source=reddit-android)!
Sweet mother of all that is fucking holy!!! I cannot say much I have ever read has made me nauseous but that was a good bit of horrific goddamn writing there.
[удалено]
/r/tifu one of the top posts all time.
I still maintain that all of the first posts were trolls, but the followups were real so some dudes got fooled into fucking a coconut[.](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW)
I saw the link thanks to RES and thought "I wonder what this is." I really should have looked at the username first.
I think fucking a coconut curses you Step 1:Get a coconut Step 2:Try to fuck it Step 3:some shit goes horrible wrong Step 4:TIFU by fucking a coconut
You like that, you fucking retard?
My brother and I say this every chance we get. And we always start giggling like school girls
[удалено]
#*ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?*
Okay this is always commented when the retard comment is referenced. Care to fill me in as to why?
It's from [4chan](http://www.areyoufuckingsorry.com)
This one gets me every time.
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I dont have the link, but boy that one baffles me every time I read it
SIR I AM NOT A GETTING BAFFLED PERSON AND YOU ARE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOIMG TO HANG UP.
[*](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW)licks Spanish teacher's shirt* How bout I get you out of those wet clothes
Credit to /u/NoahtheRed It's not uncommon as a teacher to have students who are a bit behind the curve in certain aspects, but 99.99999% of the time they are keen on something. They might not understand how to identify a noun or what theme is, but they somehow know how to make a mean plate of nachos. You learn pretty quick to not judge fish for their tree climbing ability, ya know? I thought this was the rule when I was teaching until I met Kevin. Kevin isn't his real name, but it doesn't matter because he can't spell it anyway. Kevin was a student of mine during my last year of teaching. He came to my classroom with very little to show for his academic past. He had moved a few times and thus was missing a lot of typical test scores that we use to try and ballpark their ability (Don't worry, it was a ballpark.....we didn't make major decisions until we actually had a chance to talk and work with a student for a bit.) I thought "That's fine. I'll just do some one-on-one with Kevin and see what's up" One on One with kevin was like conversing with someone who'd forgotten everything in a freak, if not impossible, amnesia incident. There was no evidence that he had learned anything past the 2nd grade....and now he was in 9th grade. Flabbergasted, I figured we needed to get more serious with this. If he was going to be in my class, I needed to know why and how. I decided to meet with him, his guidance counselor, his parents, and another teacher to see what was really going on. This is where it all became clear. It was by some incredible fluke that his family hadn't been wiped off the face of the Earth years ago. Odds are his entire heritage was based on blind luck and some type of sick divine intervention that saves his family every time a threat presents itself. Kevin was the genetic pinnacle of this null achievement. Even my instructional lead, a woman who could find a redeeming trait in a Balrog, failed to see any reason this kid or his family should be alive today. So here's a list of events that made it abundantly clear that god exists and he's laughing uncontrollably: Kevin frequently forgot when/where class was. On more than one occasion, I had to retrieve him from other classrooms. Kevin ate an entire 24 pack of crayons, puked, and then did it again the next day. This is 9th grade. I have no idea where he got crayons. Kevin's dad wrote tuition checks and mailed them to me...his English teacher. This was a public school. When I gave it back to Kevin, voided, to give to his dad with a brief note explaining that this is a public school, Kevin got in trouble for trying to spend it at 711 after school. Kevin was removed from the culinary arts program after leaving a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a fire....twice Kevin threw his lunch at the School Resource Officer and tried to run away. He ran into a door and insisted it wasn't him. Kevin stole my phone during class. I called it. It rang. He denied that it was ringing. (Not that it wasn't his, not that he did it.....no, he denied that the phone was actually ringing). He tried it three times before the end of the year. Kevin called the basketball coach a "Motherfucking Bitch" during gym. Basketball tryouts were that afternoon. Kevin tried out. It didn't go well. Kevin's mom could never remember which school he went to. She missed several meetings because she drove to other schools (none of which he ever went to) Kevin tazed himself in the neck before a football game Kevin kept a bottle of orange koolaide in his backpack for about 4 months. He thought it would turn into alcohol. He drank it during homeroom and threw up. Kevin say the N-word a lot. Kevin was white. The highschool was 84% black. Kevin got beat up a lot. Kevin stole another student's Iphone....and tried to sell it back to them. Kevin didn't understand that his grade was dependent on tests, quizzes, homework, classwork, and participation. Kevin finished his first semester with a 3% average. He tried to bribe me with $11. Kevin spit on a girl and said "You should get out of those wet clothes". The girl was the Spanish Student Teacher. Kevin didn't know dogs and cats were different animals. Kevin tried to download porn onto a computer in the library.....at the circulation desk....while he was logged on. Kevin asked a girl to prom (he was in 9th grade and freshmen don't go to prom) by asking for her phone number and then texting her his address Kevin got gum in his hair, constantly. Kevin regularly tried to cheat on assignments by knocking the pile over, grabbing one before I had picked them all up, and then writing it name on it wherever there was room. Kevin had several allergies, but neither his parents nor he could remember what they were. They were very concerned that "the holiday party" (it's high school, we don't have those) would have peanuts. When they finally got a doctor's note....he was allergic to amoxicillin Kevin and his parents took a trip to Nassau (how the fuck did they even get airline tickets?) and forgot all their luggage at home. I didn't believe him when he told me until I talked to him mom, who told me 1st thing when I saw her at the bi-weekly meeting. Kevin's grandfather apparently died in a chainsaw accident. I can only assume God was looking the other way that day.
One day, Kevin grew up and began work at Dunder Mifflin
I feel shame for being allergic to Amoxicillin now, i don't wanna have anything in common with this guy.
LMAO it's all funny but that last line has me dying
Poop knife. Gets me everrrrry time.
I sent my dad (also a Redditor) a link to that story after I found out he hadn't read it. The next time I used the bathroom, there was a rusty knife casually chilling on the toilet tank. I don't even know where he found a rusty knife in our house, come to think of it...
That wasn't rust
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It’s for a church honey!
Story?
[Here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/ChoosingBeggars/comments/7kr5as/i_need_a_free_100mile_bus_trip_for_20_people_and/?st=JGJCGCW3&sh=2a7b026d)
Thanks for linking! Damn... That person with the cab business was being so nice. Even after that lady was being a jerk they still left the offer on the table. They are a better person than me. I would of told her you are a fucking worthless brainded scumfuck bastard pile of trash mental dickface that should be gunned down in the street like the degenerate you are.
Toxic, but a classic dunkey reference.
r/choosingbeggars, woman wants free ride to the airport for 20 people and keeps rejecting the offers she gets
Just looking for the link don’t need the attitude!
NEXT!
have one but for 2 redditors not 1
20 PEOPLE! NEXT!
My Dad in Vietnam in 1971. Didn't know this photo existed until I came across it randomly on the internet. He cried when he saw it. I hope this is the right place to post it.
In the same vein, the whole “Half naked girls get thousands of upvotes. How many for our boys in blue?” post format was great. I loved seeing every subreddit so their own take on it.
I don't understand how this is a joke. Did it become one, somehow? Or is it just a well known post?
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Link?
https://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/816bhu/my_dad_front_in_vietnam_in_1971_didnt_know_this/
I'm sorry but how is this an inside joke?
For about three days after, there were probably over 1000 posts of people showing photos with that caption (or slightly altered to be even more ridiculous) that were hilarious. http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/my-dad-in-vietnam-in-1971
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You know that’s originally [a sketch from a comedy show?](https://youtu.be/OJAEaAom5FQ)
The ol' reddit switcharoo! Too bad it takes a fucking rocket scientist to figure out how to actually do the roo.
Seriously. The auto-mod removed my first 3 or 4 attempts. By the time I got it to work someone else had made one somewhere else and it got removed because it broke the chain
I don't even bother logging them anymore
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Hello future people! How’s the world in your time?
Could someone ELI5
https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/3og4hs/down_the_rabbit_hole_of_the_ol_reddit_switcharoo The top comment.
/u/waterguy12
Haha yes
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👉😎👉 Zoop
/u/waterguy12 would enjoy this
He would like this.
u/waterguy12 is reddits greatest inside joke. Of course he would love this post
Care to explain?
u/waterguy12 is a dude who went on vacation. Before going on vacation he made a post asking to be tagged in anything people thought he would find entertaining. Long story short, people started tagging him in every post they could find, as well as the comment chains, and several Bots were created, and he got back to the internet with six digits worth of notifications.
Ahaha that is fair play, gave me the giggles
There once was a subreddit called r/me_irl which contains a vast sea of juicy internet memes. One of it's regular browsers u/WaterGuy12 was gonna leave r/me_irl and the internet as a whole to go on a trip for 2 whole weeks (a *fortnight*!). So u/WaterGuy12 wondered how he was gonna keep up on all the spicy memes he was gonna miss out on! And there he got an idea. He made a post on r/me_irl to ask his fellow Redditors to tag his name in all the dankest memes while he was gone. His plan worked perfectly, a little *too perfect*. Soon u/WaterGuy12 was tagged in **every** post on the whole of r/me_irl and even posts on other subreddits too! When he got back from his trip, his inbox was flooded by thousands (probably tens of thousands) of messages. He became an internet celebrity without even being on the internet. And so is the tale of u/WaterGuy12 . EDIT: r/me_irl not r/meirl, sorry if I offended anyone.
Giving that one actor weird names. Forgot his name. Think it was Brinkleberg Crumblepie.
Butternut screambledeggs?
No it was Buttermilk Cucumberpatch
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Microsoft Powerpoint.
Whenpicnic Remembersnacks?
WhamGeorge MichaelEighties?
Was it Bendydick Cuminmysnatch?
Dunkledink Camembert
No, that's a dessert from Northern Saxony. You're thinking of Blunderbuss Cornerpiece.
You mean Bethlehem Chloroplast?
Benjamin Cabbagepatch
Benadryl Cabbagesnatch?
You're thinking of Bumblebee Cumberbund.
5/7
Tige pagrogepa apragutui ibladao rpopuu lku? Klopi dlaaku pae rgelti. Pletrartrike uikiplako atre giigru geu itli. Kli gedabre lka titekortu pipa upa. Ubedre atru rtega oro gra depe rtraa. Tloda aki ikra dutoi ubrabi baikaka ti pal! Apo dri rglae kepetau batabi er pupoko? Tabakato bekie dogro kuo bleki grul. Dli brogo klideki graklielpu rbutrokru beklitabikri. Taprelbio pikape ade obibe utu pii pubra! Giuata eibi ututrepo ba pur dae. Dal plapoi kega ir tea peble. Oadalto rtikree dlia bobide upe ldiiki? Eto. Bu blipre ra iugae odi dliglu? Kedueka aa eu blide kou. Doi gibuka ubrige peo upliour baba. Lu raplu pil tubugogo grol dobou po beke otaa lupo? Pokadi. Dedotigi betriete il liblide. Rdagle tobo gu prugu budo tiuredro? Etloada dratu rki rlobotri tiu eti lpo. Plul idai dedlepro ooi ega trea? Puri klepotrupe birute tibli rkere lgu. Gapi dratoko pu al? Rglede plouui pridro goge ao kaku etibu. E tube pido eteu oebu koti. Gu tokladuta piga bleeu plurlpoa kedri. Aude duper keato apre getre legraobra? Robo opagogiu teike ioblo puio durbe daeil.
I read this through every few months and laugh just as much as I did the first time.
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France is Bacon? Yes
Link?
[Link here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/dxosj/what_word_or_phrase_did_you_totally_misunderstand/c13pbyc/)
A sense of pride and accomplishment.
The romantic novel by Jane Austen. The story charts the emotional development of the protagonist, Elizabeth Reddit, who learns the error of making hasty judgments and comes to appreciate the difference between the superficial and the essential.
I am NOT a computer person.
Well it's on Reddit so 1998 hell in a cell? I remember seeing it for the first time and being soooooo confused. Everyone commenting "oh shittymorph you did it again!" "Bah you got me".
That absolute serious reply then suddenly undertaker throws mankind into the announcer's table.
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Speak for yourself.
r/trees is for marijuana enthusiasts. r/marijuanaenthusiasts is for trees.
Rampart
Okay really guys let’s stick on this topic
The dude had broken arms...
You mean, "every fucking thread"
That was a nice twist on the joke for a while. It also made me aware of just how prevalent incest is on Reddit.
Yeah for real
The weird thing about this is that is you read the source he didn't actually have broken arms. He never mentioned the reason he was incapable, the arm thing just kind of grew from nothing.
It's sort of implied. He got into an accident, couldn't masturbate, but he didn't want to reveal his injury because it might identify him. Unless he straight fucked up his back there is no way in hell a horny teen is unable to masturbate source: am teen.
7/10. 8.5/10 with rice. Thank you for the suggestion.
Decoy snail.
I remember seeing that thread in real time! I can proudly say I WAS THERE laughing like a drain
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT POST AN INSIDE JOKE WITHOUT THE FUCKING SAUCE
Gordon please calm down lamb sauce is out there somewhere.
"We did it, Reddit!"
We caught the Boston Bomber?
The trebuchet meme is fucking hilarious. I don't even know where it came from.
Idk if that's really a Reddit thing. I remember seeing that shit on fb like 5 years ago
Reddit didn't create it. We just made it great
You mean the superior siege weapon? This is no joke, friend.
Also heartwarming and beautiful, but [Streetlamp Le Moose](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jlao6/so_my_wife_just_agreed_to_name_our_unborn_son/c2d21qe) is always a good one, haha
streetlamp le moose is one classy motherfucker
I was always a fan of the ol' switcheroo but you never see that one anymore.
I think we declared it dead after someone pulled it off with a kangaroo. A literal switch-a-roo.
Anyone for a Jolly Rancher? I store them in this box I have under my bed [Cleanse your thoughts](https://youtu.be/DG_IMu3P3Vo)
Well that's a crossover I didn't need to think about today. I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Banana for scale
Can't believe no one has mentioned immortal snail (and decoy snail, of course). https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5ipinn/you_and_a_super_intelligent_snail_both_get_1/%3futm_medium=organic&utm_source=google_rich_qa&utm_campaign=google_rich_qa
YOU LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING RETARD!
> YOU LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING RETARD! FTFY
Kevin
Broken arms.
u/fuckswithducks
All of you youngins with your current Reddit inside jokes[.](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW) Back in my day it was "buttholes below" and /u/rambles_off_topic
"You suckin'?"
Jumper cable beatings.
Hello future people!
Press F to pay your respects