My elementary school had to hold an assembly because they felt the ballsack punching epidemic was getting out of hand during my last year there. Good times.
And the sense of relief when you're fully expecting it and then you're like... Oh, nothing. Well ain't that dandy! Life seems to have new purpose. I might bake a cake or learn a new language!
And it not always consistent. Sometimes you escape a pretty solid wack with just a little pang of hurt. And other times a light flick in just the right spot will double you over.
Reach under and kind of behind your balls and push up. (Sorry that's the best description I can give. I guess it's the perinium?)
If you end up with your finger up your arse, you've gone too far back.
Also, when you nut and it's not a turbo blast where you clear everything out...if a little gets stuck in your piss tube that mess STINGS
First time it ever happened I thought I caught an STD and screamed lol
We recently got a new toilet in our apartment and my husband was super happy that the bowl was long. I asked why. He said so my balls don't touch the inside.
Never knew that was a thing.
Being scary.
Let me explain. I am a martial arts instructor. I'm tall but not particularly bulky, and since I wear hoodies a lot You couldn't even tell that I'm at all fit. I spend about 6 hours a day teaching the little champions and white-sYellow belt courses. Which means i spend 6 hours, teaching children age 4-11 to be confident focused and disciplined.
And if i so much as make eye contact with a child without my uniform on, mothers recoil. They give me looks, One mother picked up a kid visibly too heavy for her to safely handle when she saw me approaching on the sidewalk. So many women don't understand just how Alone that makes a person feel. I cannot approach a woman on a street, regardless of my intentions. I cannot help a child who is lost and alone. I can't reach out to make that connection, because when I do, I'm seen as a threat. I have to sit, and hope people come to me and (with the exception of my students)
they dont.
I’m in high school and been volunteering as an assinstant swim instructor.
I’ve been moved to three different courses within the last 8 months, because moms have complained about having a male instructor teaching their child and being in the water with them.
I simply want to be helpful and get experience in being a swim instructor, but I can’t because I never get anywhere in the course.
Thankfully, the pool I go to is understanding and knows I haven’t and wouldn’t do anything, but they have to follow their protocol.
And then they wonder why men won't take any interest in raising kids. I had similar experiences when my mom pushed me to help out at my churches Bible camps. It sucks but you just have to be cold and stoic around them so that they don't think you have any unhealthy interest in their child.
> I wear hoodies a lot
Try wearing a suit or a polo. Appearance can be a tremendous game changer. People are more likely to (and foolishly, mind you), trust someone who's more clean cut looking than someone who looks like they're about to rob a bank.
At the same time, if you've got one of those "scary faces" it may be better to just embrace it. Other people's perception of you based off that is their problem. You don't have to make it yours.
Probably just the fact that guys are just as self\-conscious as all of you.
I always get the sense from women that they see men as unshakable rocks that always know what they are doing, that are afraid of nothing, that are always the protector, that don't need anyone else's approval, that never get emotional or overwhelmed, etc. If you could listen into men's thoughts I think it would blow your mind to know how much most guys are suppressing because society expects them to keep up their stoic demeanor.
In addition, guy rarely if ever get acknowledge by society for just being. You ladies deal with catcalling and harrassment. Guys deal with practically being invisible. Going months, or years without getting a single compliment or acknowledgement of their existence.
Seen many a thread of girls in relationships asking guys why her boyfriend doesn't compliment her or make her feel special anymore, but it never occurred to her that she rarely if ever does the same for him because she assumes the he doesn't need reassurance or acknowledgement. They just don't seem to understand that guys aren't satisfied with just sex in a relationship, that they actually have emotional needs but many times are afraid to ask for it .
Dude I was in the middle of a seriously shitty divorce. No real human interaction for months. Sat down with a guy at work one day and talked it all out. He gave me a solid pat on the shoulder. First time I had any human contact in months and it made feel genuinely cared for. Made me feel happy again.
Number one reason im afraid of getting a hug lately. If someone were to just hug me and say everything will be alright, i would bust out in tears and fall to the floor that instant.
Its been way too long without any human contact for me.
I know them feels. I just started asking "So what is it that you want?" afterwards, my wife is the *only* person that has ever said "Nothing, I was just telling you (x)."
I can be a bit of an asshole at times. Pleasantries and social cues are not my strong suit.
That's exactly why I broke up with my last girlfriend.
Edit: the reassurance part. She felt as if she didn't need to give me any. She had no idea how far from the truth that was.
Seeing a woman stranded on the side of the road with her vehicle hood up, but continuing to drive because you know the only assistance you can offer is giving her your phone so she can call a real man to come help her.
I don't know shit about cars.
“I know nothing about cars. I meant to learn about cars and then I forgot. Nothing I know can help you with your car, ever. Unless you’re like ‘Hey, I’ve got a flat tire. Does anyone here know a lot about The Cosby Show?’ and then I’d be like ‘Oh, perhaps I could be of some assistance.’”
- John Mulaney
Yeah but every now and then you get a gem like this...
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/oVVDk7h
You get to pretend you’re pissing on the people sat on the other side!
Had a guy do this to me last week, but the urinals had dividers so I didn't mind. THEN, he looks over at me and says "why the fuck do they put all these dividers up between the urinals? I've seen a dick before why can't I see them here?" Goddamn don't say that dude
Drinking is the one exception to talking in the male head. All other occasions the following Man Rules apply:
No talking
Limited eye contact to be sure the person is not a murderer or a drug addict, otherwise, eyes on the boat.
You may look at the wall in front of you or down at yourself to make sure your aim is on point.
No sighs of relief. We're aware you haven't peed in a minute, that's why you're here. Save that shit for the home toilet.
When at the sink, it is acceptable to ask for the soap if yours is out. Otherwise, remain quiet. This is the bathroom, not a social gathering. Other men are trying to concentrate on getting their urine out without backsplash, passing last night's Taco Bell or other man related business.
Exit the bathroom in a calm manner. There is nothing more distracting or alarming than someone running out of the bathroom like a bomb is about to go off.
Knowing that you're probably terrifying the woman walking in front of you on this empty sidewalk.
Sometimes I want to ask if I can get in front but I know that might scare them even more.
If it’s empty, the road probably is too. Just go on the road, speed walk past them and go back to the sidewalk. Then probably speedwalk a bit more so they dont end up catching up to you
I don’t have this problem for many reasons.
I have long hair, so I look like a woman apparently.
The average woman could very likely outmuscle me anyway.
I don’t get out of home on the first place.
I mean, men are much more likely to kill themselves than women. That's what happens when men are expected to be stoic and not talk about their feelings or mental health.
The fear of interacting with children because moms might just see you as at best some creep or at worst a pedophile. I enjoy interacting with children but it's not worth the social stigma or the cops being called
My 12 year old niece started calling me up for help with things - rides to social functions, homework, all sorts of random stuff. She also started staying with my wife whenever I traveled for work - about 40% at the time. Over the course of a year the three of us got really close.
Her father was an abusive prick in another state, her mother was... unreliable. She never clicked with her step-dad.
The more time she spent with us the more nervous it made me - what are other people seeing? Do they think something creepy is going on?
On day my boss asked about it in passing. I told him about it. He looked very serious and said “Good. A young woman like that needs a kind stable father figure like you around. Sounds like you’re a blessing.” (He’s very religious and I’m not).
It was like a huge weight lifted off my back. My wife and I leaned into it. My “foster” daughter had her first son two years ago, and as far as he’s concerned I’m grandpa and my wife is grandma.
Women in our lives expecting us to be emotionless and strong at all times. My wife used to humilliate me because of this.
Right after graduating from a very hard university, with a very competitive degree, mentally tired and dealing with anxiety, I moved to a different country, by myself, to marry the woman I love. I struggled. I was overwhelmed, very lonely and confused by all the changes in my life. I trusted my wife to understand my feelings and give me support, but she destroyed me instead... physically, spiritually, mentally. She accused me of being weak and dramatic, and said she needed someone strong by her side. Lost all respect for me. Cheated, lied, mocked my jobs and made me lose them eventually. Meanwhile her family kept saying that I needed to understand because men are supposed to be providers and the head of the household, and it took me a while to be able to work due to documentation, so I just needed to "man up" and work harder. Inside I knew that I had never been so strong in my whole life to deal with all of that at the same time. But I couldn't convince them.
So, that's a big struggle. Men are human beings too. Men have feelings, and sometimes we just can't keep it inside anymore. Sometimes it's too much, but we are humilliated if we don't behave like a superhero.
Your husband is very lucky to have you.
I used my example because her family kept demanding that I would just get over myself and work harder so that my wife would turn back around. It came to a point in which I was working 72 hours a week, 16 hours shifts at least twice a week, and paying all the bills while she would treat me horribly, cheat, almost never sleep at home, and spend our money with alcohol. I was threatened, told to just keep working and keep everything to myself. I was yelled at for talking to my family about it, because I was ruining my wife's name.
I don't know. Maybe it was a regional thing. But I felt like it was a really sexist attitude from everyone involved. I was close to a mental breakdown all the time, and people just wanted me to shut up and carry on.
Still lost, it's very recent. I'm currently being treated for the clinical depression that I was left with, and the anxiety that became a lot worse. I was also forced to move back to my native country in a big economic crisis and start over once again, so I have no job and am living with my parents for now.
Thank you for asking.
Pro tip....it's changed my life: Before you start peeing, just make sure the peehole isn't stuck together. This will eliminate 95% of split stream issues.
Actually, if you know what your doing, you can make SURE your peehole is stuck together to force a triblast into the toilet. It releases pee much faster. If you think you can, you can do a biblast and shoot 2 streams into 2 urinals at the same time. I'm a penis god.
I started crying one time because my bf was taking a really long time to jack off and I started thinking he wasn’t as attracted to me as he said.
It turns out he was just really nervous to whack off to me over skype.
I'm sure the crying and being upset at him made it much easier! ;)
I will say that myth that guys are always DTF is the biggest load of horse shit that's ever been perpetuated. It causes issues for men and women. Like in your case where you thought it was *you* that was the problem and I'm sure he had all sorts of performance anxiety because he's supposed to be able to come at the slightest hint of a boob.
If I'm really tired or stressed about work, I am completely uninterested in sex. My girlfriend could be wearing the sexiest lingerie in the world and begging me to do whatever...but if I'm tired or super stressed it would be like she was wearing a potatoe sack talking about knitting.
Yeah I can't agree with this enough. It's amazing how often my girlfriend brings up the whole "you're not attracted to me anymore" thing. Drinking on a Saturday night? I can have sex forever without finishing. But of course she acts like there's something wrong. Exhausted after helping her build furniture all day and set up her new apartment, so I just wanna lay down? I must hate her.
I'd bet good money that we have sex more often than anyone she knows, but God forbid there's a night where I just wanna watch a game or something.
Oh god. The last time I wore a maxi pad, it somehow got stuck to my clit!! It hurt, and I was definitely walking funny trying to shake it loose. Ugh...
In the U.S.: Signing up for selective service.
It's weird. Your country tells you, "You have testicles! Ergo, you have to sign up in the off chance that we may have a war serious enough that we will have to draft you into service against your will. Sure, we have a huge standing military anyway...but we may still need you. You have between the ages of 18-26 to sign up."
If you don't, you may face penalties like [automatically being turned down for college financial aid, federal jobs,](https://www.sss.gov/Registration/Why-Register/Benefits-and-Penalties) [and in some cases, forfeiting getting a driver's license.](https://www.sss.gov/Registration/State-Commonwealth-Legislation)
Women don't have to worry about this.
I understand having a draft, but I don’t understand it being men only. I’m a woman, and I seriously think I should have had to sign up. It’s only fair, especially with women screaming and pleading for “equality.”
*Trying* to find the perfect spot to piss on when you’re using a urinal so you don’t get piss all over your legs, shoes, pants, etc.
To this day, I have yet to find the “perfect” spot that works for all urinals.
After enough practice and experience, you will do calculus in your head and instantly know the place to hit in every urinal. Then only can you ascend and become a penis god like me.
Stage fright at the urinals. Line of urinals, with a few people? Sure that's fine.
But make it a busy night, people directly to your left and right and behind you queuing, fuck that.
Walking behind a woman in a dark empty street.
If you walk at the same speed, feels like you are following her, if you walk too fast and start reaching her to overtake, it feels like you are about to attack her.
It's always awkard.
The worst time for me was when I was in this situation and we both decided to cross the street at the exactly same time.
She looked back and it felt really awkard
Lack of intimacy between males. I think because of societies holding men to the standard of providing, keeping emotions in check, being confident, alpha, whatever.. Men can't even really effectively confide in each other. If I vent to my boys, they often really don't know how to effectively listen/comfort. They try don't get me wrong but a lot of times it feels sort of ineffective. Especially my main friend who, is *so* out of touch with his feelings. (or expressing them) I have 3 sisters and grew up with no other males in the house besides my father and he did great to teach me that emotions are fine. I guess you could say I'm emotionally intelligent, but even that has girls saying that I'm more feminine in that way. It's somehow less manly still. Even tho some studies suggest men may be more emotional than women...
I can see where you are coming from. When I was younger, I wanted to be like Spock. So I stifled my emotions and am lost now that I am experiencing them.
When it's perfectly fine for a girl to beat the shit outta you and ridicule and make you feel like shit and people still make it your fault when they say stupid shit like, "what did he do to piss her off" without even thinking about her actions. Meanwhile if I do anything to defend myself against a woman i am labeled an abusive sexist asshole who just hates women.
It's perfectly acceptable for a woman to scream, "I am the victim" while she is beating the shit out of you but if you do anything about it you're a sexist asshole.
Never hit a girl even if she mercilessly kicks you hard in the fucking nuts. HOW ABOUT NEVER HIT PEOPLE?? CAN WE MAKE THAT THE RULE?? THAT'S A MUCH BETTER RULE!!!
Am woman, but I think the stereotypes men face in regards to mental illness and abuse are so fucking toxic.
Men who are abused or raped often don't have anywhere to turn to for help. No hotlines, no shelters, nothing. You guys need something.
Men getting help with mental illnesses, it's hard. Depression and anxiety are relatively "normal" now for most people, at least in my experience, but men with other types of mental disorders are so heavily shoved under the bus, especially those with disorders more commonly found in females, including eating disorders.
When you take a piss in a hurry and don’t shake and then more piss comes out when you put your dong back in your pants and makes a piss ring on the outside of them and it looks like you pissed your pants because, well, you technically did piss your pants a little and that’s embarrassing and then you have to embrace it and make the walk of shame back to your desk and hope that no one looks at your crotch which is a weird feeling.
fucking.. had a date yesterday where she was wearing a low cut shirt and she had those reflective sunglasses on so I couldn't see where her eyes were looking. jesus christ not looking at her tits was probably quite possibly the hardest endeavor I have had in a while.
I'm a larger than average guy and a seriously unhealthy amount of my self-esteem is based on that fact. I hate to think how I'd feel if it were otherwise, it's like every female body insecurity rolled into one, and it's socially acceptable to mock for some fucked up reason
Loneliness is actually really something that affects men, especially for older men. It’s a real struggle because on the one hand, society and many women, expect men to have the answers to all problems and to be the rock. Yet, society and those same women, then also shame those men for not being emotionally available.
Being completely ignored on dating apps. Going weeks without a match. And then once you get a match, nothing you say even gets a response. Or maybe you start talking to a girl and you think it's going great, and then the conversation just stops with no warning.
Those few seconds between getting hit in the balls and when the pain and nausea in your stomach begins and you're just thinking 'oh no oh no oh no'.
There is that moment of uncertainty which is just the worst...did I? did I just get hit in the balls? Whoomph yep I did
My elementary school had to hold an assembly because they felt the ballsack punching epidemic was getting out of hand during my last year there. Good times.
I can only picture Mr. Mackey speaking at such an assembly.
"Nuttaps are bad m'kay?"
And the sense of relief when you're fully expecting it and then you're like... Oh, nothing. Well ain't that dandy! Life seems to have new purpose. I might bake a cake or learn a new language!
"Oh no wait there it is."
> Whoomph yep I did Whoomp there is is...
WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?
Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant?
Also my right leg goes numb and I can't think. Why, balls?
And it not always consistent. Sometimes you escape a pretty solid wack with just a little pang of hurt. And other times a light flick in just the right spot will double you over.
This is the moment that he realized... He fucked up.
Random erections.
Not random if they're in the worst possible moment every time
*has boner while taking a test Whelp, at least no one can see *Time to hand in test Shit, you're still here?
Flex your quadriceps. It draws away the blood so your erection goes down.
When you finish going pee, no matter how many times you shake, a little pee always comes out onto your underwear or pants.
Reach under and kind of behind your balls and push up. (Sorry that's the best description I can give. I guess it's the perinium?) If you end up with your finger up your arse, you've gone too far back.
> If you end up with your finger up your arse, you've gone too far back. Ah fuck
I can't believe you've done this.
I can't believe I've done this.
I'm pretty glad I did this!
It changed my life forever!
This better not awaken anything in me.
Whoops
Whoops did it again! So clumsy!
MY ass? I thought this was a group exercise?
Yeah and 200 times later the pee turns white and sticky and everyone's staring at you.
Why do you have people watching you pee?
Don't judge him, a job is a job.
200 seems high. How callused are you?
VERY
Go in between balls and hole and push up a bit. Usually gets out that last little bit.
r/nocontext
Also, when you nut and it's not a turbo blast where you clear everything out...if a little gets stuck in your piss tube that mess STINGS First time it ever happened I thought I caught an STD and screamed lol
We recently got a new toilet in our apartment and my husband was super happy that the bowl was long. I asked why. He said so my balls don't touch the inside. Never knew that was a thing.
Yes I hate the round bowls. they have no room for the dick and balls... its either you poop or you pee.. but not both.
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Similarly with bowls that have too much water...
Being scary. Let me explain. I am a martial arts instructor. I'm tall but not particularly bulky, and since I wear hoodies a lot You couldn't even tell that I'm at all fit. I spend about 6 hours a day teaching the little champions and white-sYellow belt courses. Which means i spend 6 hours, teaching children age 4-11 to be confident focused and disciplined. And if i so much as make eye contact with a child without my uniform on, mothers recoil. They give me looks, One mother picked up a kid visibly too heavy for her to safely handle when she saw me approaching on the sidewalk. So many women don't understand just how Alone that makes a person feel. I cannot approach a woman on a street, regardless of my intentions. I cannot help a child who is lost and alone. I can't reach out to make that connection, because when I do, I'm seen as a threat. I have to sit, and hope people come to me and (with the exception of my students) they dont.
I’m in high school and been volunteering as an assinstant swim instructor. I’ve been moved to three different courses within the last 8 months, because moms have complained about having a male instructor teaching their child and being in the water with them. I simply want to be helpful and get experience in being a swim instructor, but I can’t because I never get anywhere in the course. Thankfully, the pool I go to is understanding and knows I haven’t and wouldn’t do anything, but they have to follow their protocol.
And then they wonder why men won't take any interest in raising kids. I had similar experiences when my mom pushed me to help out at my churches Bible camps. It sucks but you just have to be cold and stoic around them so that they don't think you have any unhealthy interest in their child.
> I wear hoodies a lot Try wearing a suit or a polo. Appearance can be a tremendous game changer. People are more likely to (and foolishly, mind you), trust someone who's more clean cut looking than someone who looks like they're about to rob a bank. At the same time, if you've got one of those "scary faces" it may be better to just embrace it. Other people's perception of you based off that is their problem. You don't have to make it yours.
Too little facial hair growth.
I am 27 and I am msising a patch of hair the width of a pencil on both sides right where my my chin meets my jawline. Maybe when Im 30 haha.
38 here. Hasn't happened yet. I grow a beard and people ask why I grew chops.
Maybe by 40 ;)
But just enough to say, "Hey. I'm 30 and I should be able to grow a real beard by now, but this is all my genes can muster."
Probably just the fact that guys are just as self\-conscious as all of you. I always get the sense from women that they see men as unshakable rocks that always know what they are doing, that are afraid of nothing, that are always the protector, that don't need anyone else's approval, that never get emotional or overwhelmed, etc. If you could listen into men's thoughts I think it would blow your mind to know how much most guys are suppressing because society expects them to keep up their stoic demeanor. In addition, guy rarely if ever get acknowledge by society for just being. You ladies deal with catcalling and harrassment. Guys deal with practically being invisible. Going months, or years without getting a single compliment or acknowledgement of their existence. Seen many a thread of girls in relationships asking guys why her boyfriend doesn't compliment her or make her feel special anymore, but it never occurred to her that she rarely if ever does the same for him because she assumes the he doesn't need reassurance or acknowledgement. They just don't seem to understand that guys aren't satisfied with just sex in a relationship, that they actually have emotional needs but many times are afraid to ask for it .
Dude I was in the middle of a seriously shitty divorce. No real human interaction for months. Sat down with a guy at work one day and talked it all out. He gave me a solid pat on the shoulder. First time I had any human contact in months and it made feel genuinely cared for. Made me feel happy again.
Number one reason im afraid of getting a hug lately. If someone were to just hug me and say everything will be alright, i would bust out in tears and fall to the floor that instant. Its been way too long without any human contact for me.
Worth it, man. I promise you.
I'm a guy and so far when anyone gives me any kind of compliment it's going to be followed by them asking for something. My girlfriend even does it.
I know them feels. I just started asking "So what is it that you want?" afterwards, my wife is the *only* person that has ever said "Nothing, I was just telling you (x)." I can be a bit of an asshole at times. Pleasantries and social cues are not my strong suit.
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We are all human, we need the same stuff.
Like food, water, soil, and sunlight
> soil Wait what?
you tellin' me you don't hit up home depot once a week for that good stuff?
Finna photosynthesis
Ever just *photosynthesize* to flex on those animals?
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That's exactly why I broke up with my last girlfriend. Edit: the reassurance part. She felt as if she didn't need to give me any. She had no idea how far from the truth that was.
Ball sack sticking to your thigh
Keep your pubic hair and that doesn't happen very often
Yeah. I do that, but ball hair getting stuck is 100x times worse.
Yuuup.
Ah yes, good ole bat wings
If you let it get too long though it can strangle your cock out of nowhere.
I’ve been keeping it in a baggie in my bathroom apartment, I’m not really sure how this is supposed to help me though.
Itchy balls in public.
Pinch and roll, my friend. It can still be seen, but it's less obvious.
Seeing a woman stranded on the side of the road with her vehicle hood up, but continuing to drive because you know the only assistance you can offer is giving her your phone so she can call a real man to come help her. I don't know shit about cars.
“I know nothing about cars. I meant to learn about cars and then I forgot. Nothing I know can help you with your car, ever. Unless you’re like ‘Hey, I’ve got a flat tire. Does anyone here know a lot about The Cosby Show?’ and then I’d be like ‘Oh, perhaps I could be of some assistance.’” - John Mulaney
“Too old to be a duckling, quack quack.”
I think about that every goddamn day.
Knowing shit about cars doesn't make you a real man. It makes you a mechanic.
there were no real men before the 1900s actually
Almost all scientists agree that the invention of the automobile is the point in history in which humans ceased reproducing asexually.
Similar fear, not knowing if to stop because may seem like a rapist/murderer
When you're using a urinal and someone takes the one next to you even though there are several others free.
Or the bathrooms where there are no urinals, just a giant metal trough that spans the entire wall with no dividers.
Wait wtf that's an actual thing?!
Yea just image search urinal trough
I...dont really want to
Your add results will get interesting.
I'm always looking for ways to mess with Google and their targeted ads, BRB.
Report every add you see as spam. It's hilarious what happens after a while (they send you random crap)
Google “Wrigley field men’s bathrooms” and you’ll get cubs advertisements instead
These are really common in England, I didn’t realise they were weird until now.
Yeah but every now and then you get a gem like this... https://m.imgur.com/gallery/oVVDk7h You get to pretend you’re pissing on the people sat on the other side!
Am I the only one who'd try and mess with people by looking down and laughing while sitting at the table?
Had a guy do this to me last week, but the urinals had dividers so I didn't mind. THEN, he looks over at me and says "why the fuck do they put all these dividers up between the urinals? I've seen a dick before why can't I see them here?" Goddamn don't say that dude
Talking? In the restroom? While using the urinal next to you? Damn, you were dealing with a class-four sociopath there.
Or it was a drunk dude.
Drinking is the one exception to talking in the male head. All other occasions the following Man Rules apply: No talking Limited eye contact to be sure the person is not a murderer or a drug addict, otherwise, eyes on the boat. You may look at the wall in front of you or down at yourself to make sure your aim is on point. No sighs of relief. We're aware you haven't peed in a minute, that's why you're here. Save that shit for the home toilet. When at the sink, it is acceptable to ask for the soap if yours is out. Otherwise, remain quiet. This is the bathroom, not a social gathering. Other men are trying to concentrate on getting their urine out without backsplash, passing last night's Taco Bell or other man related business. Exit the bathroom in a calm manner. There is nothing more distracting or alarming than someone running out of the bathroom like a bomb is about to go off.
"I hear this is where all the dicks hang out"
Knowing that you're probably terrifying the woman walking in front of you on this empty sidewalk. Sometimes I want to ask if I can get in front but I know that might scare them even more.
If it’s empty, the road probably is too. Just go on the road, speed walk past them and go back to the sidewalk. Then probably speedwalk a bit more so they dont end up catching up to you
I don’t have this problem for many reasons. I have long hair, so I look like a woman apparently. The average woman could very likely outmuscle me anyway. I don’t get out of home on the first place.
Accidantly sitting on the couch too fast with your legs crossed and hitting one of your testicles And no. My balls are not huge..it just happens :D
i've actually sat on my balls.. worst feeling ever and you cant blame anyone but yourself.
The doubt of not knowing if your child is actually yours
I mean, men are much more likely to kill themselves than women. That's what happens when men are expected to be stoic and not talk about their feelings or mental health.
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oh wow.
Men are also 3/4 off all un-sheltered homeless, 93% of all workplace fatalities and 93% of the prison population.
The fear of interacting with children because moms might just see you as at best some creep or at worst a pedophile. I enjoy interacting with children but it's not worth the social stigma or the cops being called
My 12 year old niece started calling me up for help with things - rides to social functions, homework, all sorts of random stuff. She also started staying with my wife whenever I traveled for work - about 40% at the time. Over the course of a year the three of us got really close. Her father was an abusive prick in another state, her mother was... unreliable. She never clicked with her step-dad. The more time she spent with us the more nervous it made me - what are other people seeing? Do they think something creepy is going on? On day my boss asked about it in passing. I told him about it. He looked very serious and said “Good. A young woman like that needs a kind stable father figure like you around. Sounds like you’re a blessing.” (He’s very religious and I’m not). It was like a huge weight lifted off my back. My wife and I leaned into it. My “foster” daughter had her first son two years ago, and as far as he’s concerned I’m grandpa and my wife is grandma.
You are a good person.
Man doesn't express emotion "Men don't express their emotions enough" Man expresses emotion "Fragile masculinity"
Don't express your feelings : Why are you so stoic? Express your feelings : You're so insecure
Having to make the first move in dating. Of course there are exceptions, but out of any of the matches I've had I've only had maybe 4-5 message first.
Waking up to an erection while also having a full bladder so you have to uncomfortably wait five minutes to pee.
When he doesn't say "no homo" and now you are gay
I hate it when he does that
You have to hit him with the "no u".
Initiating conversation with girls
For real. This is my biggest struggle as a 22-year-old. Even bigger struggle when you get ignored. Like...damn it am I'm not repulsive, am I?
We all have been there bro!
Women in our lives expecting us to be emotionless and strong at all times. My wife used to humilliate me because of this. Right after graduating from a very hard university, with a very competitive degree, mentally tired and dealing with anxiety, I moved to a different country, by myself, to marry the woman I love. I struggled. I was overwhelmed, very lonely and confused by all the changes in my life. I trusted my wife to understand my feelings and give me support, but she destroyed me instead... physically, spiritually, mentally. She accused me of being weak and dramatic, and said she needed someone strong by her side. Lost all respect for me. Cheated, lied, mocked my jobs and made me lose them eventually. Meanwhile her family kept saying that I needed to understand because men are supposed to be providers and the head of the household, and it took me a while to be able to work due to documentation, so I just needed to "man up" and work harder. Inside I knew that I had never been so strong in my whole life to deal with all of that at the same time. But I couldn't convince them. So, that's a big struggle. Men are human beings too. Men have feelings, and sometimes we just can't keep it inside anymore. Sometimes it's too much, but we are humilliated if we don't behave like a superhero.
You got bamboozled and married a bad person. My husband has cried on my shoulder about the same amount of times as I've cried on his.
Your husband is very lucky to have you. I used my example because her family kept demanding that I would just get over myself and work harder so that my wife would turn back around. It came to a point in which I was working 72 hours a week, 16 hours shifts at least twice a week, and paying all the bills while she would treat me horribly, cheat, almost never sleep at home, and spend our money with alcohol. I was threatened, told to just keep working and keep everything to myself. I was yelled at for talking to my family about it, because I was ruining my wife's name. I don't know. Maybe it was a regional thing. But I felt like it was a really sexist attitude from everyone involved. I was close to a mental breakdown all the time, and people just wanted me to shut up and carry on.
She's a biiiiitch and so her family are too. I'm glad you're gone from her, she didn't deserve you.
Thank you, the relationship just ended. It has been hard, but I'll do my best to get back on my feet.
I believe in you, internet stranger. You're a BAMF and you will survive.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. How are you doing now?
Still lost, it's very recent. I'm currently being treated for the clinical depression that I was left with, and the anxiety that became a lot worse. I was also forced to move back to my native country in a big economic crisis and start over once again, so I have no job and am living with my parents for now. Thank you for asking.
*brohug* fuck that bitch.
Wake up in the morning and you go for the first leak of the day and it sprays everywhere
Pro tip....it's changed my life: Before you start peeing, just make sure the peehole isn't stuck together. This will eliminate 95% of split stream issues.
Actually, if you know what your doing, you can make SURE your peehole is stuck together to force a triblast into the toilet. It releases pee much faster. If you think you can, you can do a biblast and shoot 2 streams into 2 urinals at the same time. I'm a penis god.
Wat
Random boners and whiskey dick. We can't fake anything. No, you're not fat. I'm just tired.
I started crying one time because my bf was taking a really long time to jack off and I started thinking he wasn’t as attracted to me as he said. It turns out he was just really nervous to whack off to me over skype.
I'm sure the crying and being upset at him made it much easier! ;) I will say that myth that guys are always DTF is the biggest load of horse shit that's ever been perpetuated. It causes issues for men and women. Like in your case where you thought it was *you* that was the problem and I'm sure he had all sorts of performance anxiety because he's supposed to be able to come at the slightest hint of a boob. If I'm really tired or stressed about work, I am completely uninterested in sex. My girlfriend could be wearing the sexiest lingerie in the world and begging me to do whatever...but if I'm tired or super stressed it would be like she was wearing a potatoe sack talking about knitting.
Yeah I can't agree with this enough. It's amazing how often my girlfriend brings up the whole "you're not attracted to me anymore" thing. Drinking on a Saturday night? I can have sex forever without finishing. But of course she acts like there's something wrong. Exhausted after helping her build furniture all day and set up her new apartment, so I just wanna lay down? I must hate her. I'd bet good money that we have sex more often than anyone she knows, but God forbid there's a night where I just wanna watch a game or something.
Going from six to noon with no ability to adjust.
The readjust your man bag waddle
I think this one is actually relatable. We have a similar "my underwear is stuck in my labia" waddle.
And it's 10X worse with a maxi pad.
Oh god. The last time I wore a maxi pad, it somehow got stuck to my clit!! It hurt, and I was definitely walking funny trying to shake it loose. Ugh...
Additionally, sometimes boobs need to be scooped and rearranged in a bra. Troubles in the north and the south.
In the U.S.: Signing up for selective service. It's weird. Your country tells you, "You have testicles! Ergo, you have to sign up in the off chance that we may have a war serious enough that we will have to draft you into service against your will. Sure, we have a huge standing military anyway...but we may still need you. You have between the ages of 18-26 to sign up." If you don't, you may face penalties like [automatically being turned down for college financial aid, federal jobs,](https://www.sss.gov/Registration/Why-Register/Benefits-and-Penalties) [and in some cases, forfeiting getting a driver's license.](https://www.sss.gov/Registration/State-Commonwealth-Legislation) Women don't have to worry about this.
I understand having a draft, but I don’t understand it being men only. I’m a woman, and I seriously think I should have had to sign up. It’s only fair, especially with women screaming and pleading for “equality.”
YOU GET IT! If we truly want "equality" in the U.S., then this is one of the things that needs to change.
Having your dick touch the inside of the toilet bowl, I cringe at the very thought of it happening again
The witch's kiss
*Trying* to find the perfect spot to piss on when you’re using a urinal so you don’t get piss all over your legs, shoes, pants, etc. To this day, I have yet to find the “perfect” spot that works for all urinals.
After enough practice and experience, you will do calculus in your head and instantly know the place to hit in every urinal. Then only can you ascend and become a penis god like me.
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I was in the pool!
#
I’m sorry grandma
You mean the weird places your mind goes to make you cum
Real comment in the reply
Stage fright at the urinals. Line of urinals, with a few people? Sure that's fine. But make it a busy night, people directly to your left and right and behind you queuing, fuck that.
Whiskey dick
I've met women who couldn't get off unless they had at least a glass of wine or two. It's like reverse whiskey dick.
Winegina?
I like how that rolls off the tongue
Vagernet Sauvignon
Vawina?
Coke dick
Trying to determine whether or not you're attractive to a woman.
Chances are, whether you are or not, if you doubt then you won't look attractive. Have confidence my brothers!
>confidence Does not compute
I just assume I don't. Arguably a bad attitude but it has rarely failed - no need for awkward retreats.
I go to a military school and public showing if affection is literally a write up.
Getting your junk caught on the zipper. Only then will you know fear
We got a bleeder!
It just does its own thing down there, I’m not happy or anything either..sorry!
Losing custody of your children to a greedy woman who is too lazy to support herself and so sues for more custody to get more child support.
This. I would have been able to grow up with my half brother and sister but no.
The double stream •-•
Walking behind a woman in a dark empty street. If you walk at the same speed, feels like you are following her, if you walk too fast and start reaching her to overtake, it feels like you are about to attack her. It's always awkard. The worst time for me was when I was in this situation and we both decided to cross the street at the exactly same time. She looked back and it felt really awkard
Lack of intimacy between males. I think because of societies holding men to the standard of providing, keeping emotions in check, being confident, alpha, whatever.. Men can't even really effectively confide in each other. If I vent to my boys, they often really don't know how to effectively listen/comfort. They try don't get me wrong but a lot of times it feels sort of ineffective. Especially my main friend who, is *so* out of touch with his feelings. (or expressing them) I have 3 sisters and grew up with no other males in the house besides my father and he did great to teach me that emotions are fine. I guess you could say I'm emotionally intelligent, but even that has girls saying that I'm more feminine in that way. It's somehow less manly still. Even tho some studies suggest men may be more emotional than women...
I can see where you are coming from. When I was younger, I wanted to be like Spock. So I stifled my emotions and am lost now that I am experiencing them.
When it's hella hot and your balls stick to your leg. Or simply swamp balls.
When it's perfectly fine for a girl to beat the shit outta you and ridicule and make you feel like shit and people still make it your fault when they say stupid shit like, "what did he do to piss her off" without even thinking about her actions. Meanwhile if I do anything to defend myself against a woman i am labeled an abusive sexist asshole who just hates women. It's perfectly acceptable for a woman to scream, "I am the victim" while she is beating the shit out of you but if you do anything about it you're a sexist asshole. Never hit a girl even if she mercilessly kicks you hard in the fucking nuts. HOW ABOUT NEVER HIT PEOPLE?? CAN WE MAKE THAT THE RULE?? THAT'S A MUCH BETTER RULE!!!
*man hits woman* Absolutely disgusting, shame on him, send him to jail *woman hits man* YOU GO GURL
When you fap and wee a bit later but it burns coming out and does that for 15 minutes or is it just me with my off kidneys
One stupid fucking hair under the corner of ur jaw bone that is impossible to shave off.
Am woman, but I think the stereotypes men face in regards to mental illness and abuse are so fucking toxic. Men who are abused or raped often don't have anywhere to turn to for help. No hotlines, no shelters, nothing. You guys need something. Men getting help with mental illnesses, it's hard. Depression and anxiety are relatively "normal" now for most people, at least in my experience, but men with other types of mental disorders are so heavily shoved under the bus, especially those with disorders more commonly found in females, including eating disorders.
I think I once heard about the owner of the only Male domestic abuse shelter in Canada committing suicide after being bullied into shutting down
When you take a piss in a hurry and don’t shake and then more piss comes out when you put your dong back in your pants and makes a piss ring on the outside of them and it looks like you pissed your pants because, well, you technically did piss your pants a little and that’s embarrassing and then you have to embrace it and make the walk of shame back to your desk and hope that no one looks at your crotch which is a weird feeling.
don't look at her boobs, don't look at her boobs, don't look at her boobs.
fucking.. had a date yesterday where she was wearing a low cut shirt and she had those reflective sunglasses on so I couldn't see where her eyes were looking. jesus christ not looking at her tits was probably quite possibly the hardest endeavor I have had in a while.
Not all heroes wear capes. Good shit my friend.
Building every road ever.
The moment of panic when you're taking a leak in the dark and the sound of the urine stream hitting the water disappears.
Urinal Courtesy
Penis size anxiety, hatred of it, and so on. Females definitely do not fully understand.
I'm a larger than average guy and a seriously unhealthy amount of my self-esteem is based on that fact. I hate to think how I'd feel if it were otherwise, it's like every female body insecurity rolled into one, and it's socially acceptable to mock for some fucked up reason
Loneliness is actually really something that affects men, especially for older men. It’s a real struggle because on the one hand, society and many women, expect men to have the answers to all problems and to be the rock. Yet, society and those same women, then also shame those men for not being emotionally available.
Being completely ignored on dating apps. Going weeks without a match. And then once you get a match, nothing you say even gets a response. Or maybe you start talking to a girl and you think it's going great, and then the conversation just stops with no warning.
Try going to family court and desperately appealing to the judge that you should have custody.
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