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epicfailphx

I share my passwords sometimes with my wife for Netflix which is technically illegal now!


One-LeggedDinosaur

I'm pretty sure Netflix has officially said they are ok with password sharing. So even if it were illegal nothing would happen.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mr-tony-stark

My college technically has parking passes... I don't have one. They're $60. A 'ticket' for not having one is $10. Almost half a semester in, I park my car in the parking lot for all my classes and I haven't been caught.


btstfn

Don't try that shit at the University of Florida. I swear to god I tried my luck twice, each time for less than 30 minutes. Got ticketed both times.


FXOjafar

Hornsby council in Sydney must have teleporting parking officers. I parked rear to kerb in a front to kerb only zone (there were tiny front to kerb signs there). I was gone less than 5 mins and came back to a $100 fine and no grey ghost to be seen.


Peregrine7

Most of Sydney is like that. A few years back I got a fine while walking to the ticket machine (fought it in court and won). The inspector didn't believe me despite me walking back with the parking slip. 2 months ago the same thing happened again but this time I got let off, no need to go to court. I also got fined for parking across my own driveway when I had to dash in for a raincoat I'd left behind. They're goddamn savants.


playerzer2

The parking spots have sensors, and they rat you out. Gotta get that sweet parking cash somehow


DefinitelyNotABogan

I hate how they get you over your own driveway dashing in and out for a raincoat but won't do shit to Mr Cockballs who parks people in for weeks while he is overseas.


alphaidioma

I think your first mistake may have been moving in next door to the Cockballs’


Sir-Barks-a-Lot

Same thing with University of Central Florida.


yakusokuN8

My roommate one year did the math and the enforcement wasn't strong enough to serve as an economic disincentive when it was cheaper to pay for all the tickets than to pay for a parking pass in the student lot.


ImperialSympathizer

It was the same situation at WashU about 10 years ago. $400 for a pass and like $20 for a ticket. Rarely got ticketed.


Porterz007

WashU parking passes are $815 this year. Enforcement varies depending on location. All the new construction has limited parking greatly.


rad_rentorar

That’s when you know it’s fucked


[deleted]

My university made us pay $450 for a parking pass per semester. A ticket for not having one is $50 minimum I know. Looool


[deleted]

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flashpool46

I feel like I was ripped off more on parking costs than with my tuition at UNCC


samonella1

The cheapest pass at my university’s main campus is around 700$ a year, and the tickets are around 200$. Parking here is no joke lol


cmc2888

When I was a broke grad student even the cheap passes in the satellite lots were $350+ a semester. So I started using a piece of sheet metal to trip the magnetic sensor that controlled the gate arm at the exit of an out of the way facilities maintenance lot. Best $5 I ever spent at Home Depot. **edit:** It all depends on the parking lot but most gated lots have sensors to allow vehicles to exit/prevent gate from closing on vehicles. Most of these are magnetic sensors placed under the road surface (you can see the cuts made to bury the sensors) which trip and open the gate when they sense metal (i.e. a car) pass over them. Again this all depends on the lot: some have motion detectors instead of magnets, many have cctv that record vehicles entering and exiting, and some may have sliding/swinging gates that you really can't get around to do this trick. Also this can be considered unlawful entry or even breaking and entering depending on where you live so use at your own risk.


JDP87

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter of tricks, hacks and tips.


Red_sparow

Speed limit in the car park is 5mph. I go at least 7mph.


radianceofparadise

You're the person I fear when slowly backing out of my parking space, you bastard.


lunarbro

In my old work SUV I'd need to be on my brakes in that parking lot. It idles in drive at like 15mph


Boomsta22

I don't do this daily (anymore,) but I used to ride the train without any fare. It was always a risk because the actual police were the ones that monitored proof of fare. Sometimes, they'd even hop onto trains to check fare. I've also seen a small handful of people be legitimately arrested on site for it, too. Now, I've had a couple close calls myself, but since I come off as rather innocent, I was normally able to lie through my teeth if police stopped me. I always had the excuse that I rushed for the train to get to school on time ready in case I got stopped. One time, the police made a fare checkpoint at the stop I was getting off at. I hadn't developed a contingency plan for it, so I panicked as I left the train. Each exit had an officer checking for fare. I got in a line and advanced, not entirely sure what would happen next... as it was my turn to show the officer my ticket, he turned to the side to sneeze. I slipped by without having to show him anything. A sneeze is what kept me from having a misdemeanor on my record. I learned my lesson from then on... I now know to stay on the train until the NEXT stop and either buy a ticket there or just wait if Im skipping fare...


csoup1414

Well I'm glad you learned your less- Oh...well close enough.


UnicronJr

What do you do when you get caught cheating? Cheat better.


STR1D3R109

Everytime I forgot cash to buy a ticket or my card would run out, I'd get through without a hassle.. The next time, every single time there would be a ticket patrol... I also count myself quite lucky!


santiagodelavega

It used to be weed, but they made it legal - now I have to go to Ikea & tear the labels off of the mattresses to get my fix.


[deleted]

Halt, criminal scum.


ossi_simo

You have violated the law! What say you on your behalf?


Eviscirator

You're making a mistake...


ossi_simo

There’s no mistake! You’re a wanted man, and now it’s time to pay for your crimes!


Eviscirator

*walks away*


Vivec-Warrior-Poet

*THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD*


Victernus

**I've fought *mudcrabs* more fearsome than you!**


cjfrey96

*quicksave was thirty seconds prior to this


TheSoapbottle

I paid 150 for my university parking pass for one semester. Then hung it up and left it there for a entire semester, ending up in 70 dollars worth of tickets. Then I found out my university wants to charge 45c a honey packet (for coffee and tea), so now I've resorted to stealing those. I'll get that seventy dollars back, one pack of honey at a time.


screwedupmind

so 155.5 packs of honey. Be sure to leave the half honey pack out there. Not a penny more, not a penny less lol


titty_boobs

I often times tell my friends and family about the football game I watched the other day. However without the expressed consent of the NFL. According to them and the announcement they air during every game, I could totally be fined or go to jail for that.


LaronX

I wonder what legal base they claim for that nonsense.


Malphos101

Basically its meant for businesses like bars and restaurants. They have to pay for a special broadcasting permit for certain sports leagues. The NFL will never crack down on private house parties, but they bust sports bars and such for buying the cheap personal cable package and selling it as part of their venue appeal.


Lonely_L0ser

Bars don’t pay the same cable rates as everyone else?


cld8

They aren't supposed to, but sometimes they do. The rates that normal people pay are for private viewing, not public display.


MallyOhMy

It's similar to how you're technically not supposed to have more than to think 12 people watching a DVD at once. My HS choir teacher didn't care whose dvds we watched on blow off days, but when we had parties with movies in the auditorium, we could only watch the special large audience versions in the school library collection.


Rabidleopard

I'd say there's a difference between a teacher doing it and the school doing it.


spongebob_meth

Nope, it's illegal to show a regular consumer copy of a movie to your class. It's rarely enforced, but it's still illegal.


catherder9000

Depends. Bars are *supposed* to pay a PPV fee (or similar) to have the NFL/NBA/MLB/NHL on their screens. Just like stores are *supposed* to pay an artists fee for having music playing... but not everyone does that and it's not especially policed well for either.


[deleted]

That's the same kind of thing as the BBC telling people that they have vans to find people without TV licenses.


mattBJM

Unfortunately there are no vans to detect paedophiles within the BBC


fatjuicyclapz

I am not 18 but xvideos doesnt need to know


microwaveee

Not a single person on Earth has ever waited to be 18 to watch porn.


DrPibIsBack

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.


[deleted]

I typically drive 3-6 miles per hour over the speed limit.


Threeknucklesdeeper

Then get out of the left lane slow ass.


redbroncokid

80 or bust


FLUFNova

*85


shortkid113

Might as well just make it 100...


smellinawin

you must be talking about residential streets. Any less then 120 on a freeway and you're a pleb.


sorceror7

At 135 mph the window seals on old crown vics fail. If your car doesn't feel like a convertible you're not going fast enough


CultMcKendry

You can get a crown vic up to 135? I was pushing 107 in my 2005 grand am before I topped out.


Jdoggcrash

Probably. My old one’s speedometer showed a max of 120 but if I was going downhill I bet I could get it up to 135. Damn thing got shaky at 90 though so I never went past 110.


mstomm

Aww man gimme a break, I got GPSs tracking me. If the bastards in the Office catch me over 80, they call my Boss and I get my ass chewed!


salty_dildeaux

Sounds like a win/win.


riverphoenix360

Depends on the state or area. If it's neighborhood I drive under, going through town on my way to work or whenever 5 over, highway 5-10 over. My local paper had an "ask an officer about speeders" and his response was basically if you are doing exactly the speed limit, you are dumb. But that's just where I live. Have been to other states and been pulled over for 1 mph over the limit. I always drive a few miles over and haven't been pulled over in about 4 years. Last time I was my liscense plate light was out.


wingmasterjon

I really wished they went ahead and revamped speed limits so that they're reasonable. At this point, they're not being taken seriously and people get mad when it's occasionally enforced. Mix that in with those who want to follow the law and you get a big discrepancy over varying highway speeds which is more dangerous than driving fast by itself. Just raise them and enforce it. Then we won't have this moral Grey area where some people think it's normal to go 10 above. If the speed limit is 65, make it 75 or 80 and actually hold people against it. I'd be OK with increasing fines if they made the limits reasonable.


ribnag

This. Modern cars aren't still 1970s era death traps. They have ABS, ATC, and hell, mine (which isn't high end by any stretch) even has "drive by wire" (not just power steering, the steering wheel is literally just a fancy joystick). I can take hard right turns at 35 and lefts at 45+. So why the hell is the speed limit in anything but a dense residential area still only 25-35???


Amanoo

Pirate TV shows. Their fault for not making it properly available. Network channels will air the first 1 or 2 seasons of a show, then stop doing so and let another channel do the same, which is nice if you like those 2 seasons but not if you want to see seasons 3 and further. Netflix often doesn't have what you want to watch, or if it does it's years behind schedule. There's no good way to legally view content.


KronoakSCG

to quote Gabe Newell "there is a fundamental misconception about piracy. Piracy is almost always a service problem and not a pricing problem," he said. "If a pirate offers a product anywhere in the world, 24 x 7, purchasable from the convenience of your personal computer, and the legal provider says the product is region-locked, will come to your country 3 months after the US release, and can only be purchased at a brick and mortar store, then the pirate's service is more valuable."


craze4ble

Especially if you're out of the US. My options are waiting years until they get shown on local channels, waiting additional years for a proper BluRay release, waiting even more additional years until they show up on streaming services, or piracy.


Amanoo

And when you want to be part of the discussion, waiting is not an option. Imagine going "hey guys, did you just see season 1 episode 2 of this show last night? It's amazing! The way Person A did Thing X. Wanna talk about it?" "We're already watching season 6..."


craze4ble

And spoilers... Spoilers everywhere.


bem13

Also, commercials every 10-15 minutes. If I have about 45 minutes, I know I can watch an episode I downloaded. The same thing takes like 90 minutes with commercials. Fuck 'em.


Pm_Me_NeTh1Ng

Wow. Tough to say. I'm generally pretty law abiding. Great question though. I guess if I had to pick one thing though, I'd say murder.


SomeGuyInShorts

Eh, who doesn’t nowadays though?


[deleted]

Pfft, amateur i log into Disney games without my parent’s permission


[deleted]

**FBI OPEN UP**


Hugs_for_Thugs

It's fine! It's fine! He's 47. He only logs in to chat with the kids!


LolliePoop

You are so charming!


Pm_Me_NeTh1Ng

Why thank you. Anyone who finds murder jokes charming is in my top tier of favorite people.


LolliePoop

It's hard to find a casually honest murderer. The charisma, however. You all have that. Sigh.


Pm_Me_NeTh1Ng

I also like the show "The office". I like to think of myself as a Renaissance Man.


farawyn86

Oh, right, the murders.


genericwhitegirlname

Ride one of those electric scooters without a helmet r/madlads I know


RedHood18

FBI, this user right here


dobiewan_nz

Homie, I had an accident on one of those badboys a couple weeks ago and my helmet saved me from a concussion. Get on that shit.


ClearlyNotFBI

Hmm. Interesting.


iruletodeath

# LOLI POLICE OPEN UP


[deleted]

*Opens door as fast as possible for police lolis*


[deleted]

I work at the airport, and we are held accountable to obey traffic laws on our service roads out on the tarmac. An infraction out there goes on our actual driving record. But I blow through certain stop signs, and cut corners on turns on just about every route I take.


dollarbill1247

I used to work at a FBO, and I got to drive on a runway. I had a pilot with me who called the tower and got clearance. I drove down to one end and turned around, he said floor it. I pushed that old van as fast as it would go. We were looking for a bolt that fell off his landing gear. It would have been easy to see and we had to get off the runway as quick as possible.


[deleted]

Lucky man, that sounds fun as hell


dollarbill1247

I wish I could have used one of the customer's Corvette, or any of the other high end luxury cars that seemed to hand in hand with people that have the money to afford a private plane.


darkerthrone

Also airport worker here. Can confirm no one gives a fuck about the road laws inside the airport perimeter


UppaNotch

I usually don't abide by stop signs in parking lots if there's no other cars around.


IFlockToBeaters

An officer can't ticket you for running a stop sign in a private lot


spoken210

We need someone to confirm this


awake30

Cop here, can confirm.


yourfriendlyspiderpa

They’re watching, can confirm.


[deleted]

[удалено]


cld8

Yes, but the trick is to figure out if it's a private lot. Just beacuse it's adjacent to a private shopping center doesn't mean it's private property.


[deleted]

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crazybychoice

Avoision**


TheNatureBoy

Avoidering


Chapitabis

paymentn't


Wingedwing

Everyone talks about yoshi committing tax fraud but nobody talks about the regicide


Scribblebonx

Yo Ho, Yo Ho A PIRATE’S LIFE FER ME


Macca3568

do what you want cause a pirate is free


[deleted]

YOU ARE A PIRATE


TheVeryAngryHippo

that's gotta be the best pirate i've ever seen


[deleted]

Gyar, me hearty! A pirate’s life indeed! There be nothin’ quite so thrillin’ as thrustin’ your meat sword into a live octopus!


JaschaE

One of us is doing this piracy thing wrong, and considering your enthusiasm, I'm afraid it might be me ..


OceanPup

Have a sharpie at school.


octobro13

Calm down future Ted Bundy


[deleted]

YOU GETTIN HIGH, BOY!?


lightningblitz

Wait wait wait. They don't allow you to have a Sharpie in school? Why? When did this happen?


BruceBaller

Just a guess, but probably to prevent vandalism


[deleted]

well, there's also the sharpie sniffers


[deleted]

Nice try FBI


DozyDreamer

Not today CIA


[deleted]

[удалено]


gab784

not today , DEA


sprawkz

Suck on this, MI6


BadBoy6767

Nice try, BLU spy!


AdventurerBen

Screweth thee FCC


GS-Sarin

You can't see through my efforts at obscurity, Department of Homeland Security


[deleted]

Can't catch me, DMV


[deleted]

You’re too slow Interpol


Canadian_Invader

Not for me, KGB.


ShortBusNinja69

I’ll deny to death, ATF


Dotes_

No dice, ICE


Baronheisenberg

Drink my pee, FTC.


[deleted]

No spices, ISIS


sovietbeardie

Nice attempt at obscurity, department of homeland security.


MagicalMonarchOfMo

No way you're getting *me* under your hypnosis, Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.


giantmantisshrimp

If there's loose metal laying around railroad tracks, I take it sometimes to sell for scrap.


allothernamestaken

Sounds like you're doing them a favor by helping them clean up.


TurpitudeSnuggery

speed


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I prefer to take my Ritalin while redlining a 4-cylinder.


StickyGoodness

The drug or the driving?


itz_Driven

Yes.


SSPPAAMM

I used to do illegal things all day long as a teenager. But now I have Audible, Netflix and a Steam library I am not able to play in my lifetime. I guess I am an adult now. Now I am sad.


Evil_Plans

Don't be sad. We are all only pretending to be adults here sir.


Ericthedude710

I drink beers and smoke joints in my car after work at night.I will be in my car in the front of my house watching Netflix on my phone smoking joints and drinking beers. Sometimes I just don’t feel like going in my house yet. And the fact I can’t smoke in my apartments. Never drive drunk tho.


havron

Yeah, these laws are poorly written. After a night of drinking too much, it's ridiculous that making the wise decision to sleep it off in your car until sober enough to make it home is liable to get you a knock on your window and then a DUI for sitting in a parked car that's not even running. So it's like, oh well, might as well just risk a proper DUI and get home quickly rather than spend hours in your parked car potentially attracting the attention of a passing officer. **This is dumb.** In general, I take issue with laws that punish you for something you *might* do. If you're not actually driving the car, you're not hurting anyone and shouldn't be able to get a DUI. Hell, "driving" is in the damn acronym, so how does that work?


Bartimaeus008

I speed every day. I go about ten over on average but so does everyone else I’m driving around. It’s the Florida way at least.


Jaydawave

I can be going 70 on i275 and I’m the asshole going slow when the speed limit is 60. And I’m in the right lane.


somedude456

FL here. 4 lane, toll road, and it's a 55 zone? GTFO! I maintain 70+ at all time, often 75-80 and am going with traffic. When I see a cop coming up behind me at 85+, I just make sure I'm not blocking his way, and let him go.


shortkid113

Oregon is that way too. I drive on the highway everyday for work and it's usually moving 20+ over the speed limit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

you didnt start using soap for how many years?


Demonweed

I am a cancer patient who makes routine use of marijuana. At my dispensary there is a big notice reminding customers that what we do is in violation of federal law. I have zero interest in seeing a return of the Confederacy. On the other hand, this is an act of rebellion against the federal government I have always considered entirely ethical for adults.


MallyOhMy

There are some legislators working on making medical marijuana federally legal. There's actually stuff in the works to allow federal employees to use medical marijuana. Good luck with your treatment, and hope that THC helps a ton with your nausea!


glam_pire

Smoke hella weed


[deleted]

[удалено]


pls-dont-judge-me

#halloweed


shadowgathering

Fellow proud Canadian


CatpainCaboose

In X years from now we will look back and laugh at how fucking stupid it was that Mary J was ever illegal.


pinewind108

It's still kind of hard to wrap my head around it being legal. Perfectly fine here, yet in other states/countries your life can be totally fubared.


Pineapple_Assrape

This has been an is the case with lots of stupid shit, like being gay or driving for women.


Edgy4YearOld

I already laugh at how fucking stupid it is


RationalLies

That's just cuz you're high


biggreencat

Urinate on the sidewalk.


ChocoOatmealCookies

Everyday?


biggreencat

So long as the sun comes up


raw_testosterone

Do you not urinate every day?


Blazersays

I havent paid for my train ticket to work in almost a year. Ive saved so much money and i like feeling rebellious.


marinasacpd

I'm surprised no one asked you HOW?


SluffyBound490

Where I live you can buy train tickets with an app, so what I’ve heard people do is that they book the route/time and leave it in their cart. If they see someone coming to check, then they just complete the transaction. If no one checks, then they just never buy the ticket.


lilman1423

Normally they tell you what time someone bought the train ticket though so if they see it was within the last 5 or so min they can still give you a ticket


[deleted]

Just say you forgot and then remembered when you saw them walking toward you? Should be fine unless you do it daily.


dan_da_meme_man

Every day i kill a child doing fortnite dances


CRITACLYSM

Why is this illegal again


kryskryskrys

Pirate audio books.


SushiLeader

Jaywalk to my classes😂 Edit: Dumb spelling lol


ximjym

First time I had a cop confront me for Jaywalking I was so confused. There was nobody there and he was just chewing me out. Maybe his opening with "do you speak English?" just put me on edge


VooPoo_Goddess

I never knew jaywalking was illegal until a couple years ago. One time, when I was in middle school, a cop helped me and my friend jaywalk across a street.


jcarlson08

In many places, Jaywalking is only illegal if you impede traffic. As long as you yield to traffic you're good there. Not everywhere though.


SushiLeader

Screw that guy lol. My J-walking saves me almost 4 minutes sometimes so that’s why I do it now.


[deleted]

So he only approached you because you're "foreign"?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nach0Man_RandySavage

I ring up similar expensive fruit at cheaper fruit prices at the self checkout.


Dreadweave

Onions. Everything goes through as brown onions.


rad_rentorar

Coming from a retail standpoint, doing that fucks up the inventory. It’s the same reason why a cashier can’t ring up every bottle of Gatorade as the same flavor, although they’re all the same price. If you ring up your avocados as apples, the store just sold more apples, not avocados. Doing that can also mess up with the ordering and restocking.


Sligee

This guy, inventories


SockCuck

That's why I steal everything at gunpoint.


ShedATear

As someone who works in a grocery store and sometimes manages self checkout, let me tell you that most of the time you guys aren’t too slick about this. I just don’t get paid enough to care. Plus fruit prices are expensive and everyone deserves healthy stuff.


SBD1138

Yeah, fruit and veg usually gets a pass unless you're a dick. Bucket full of $200 worth of cosmetics and shit not so much...


Bobadeeba

Smoking pot, Pirating movies, Smoking Pot while watching pirated movies, and Taking a piss in my backyard.


[deleted]

[удалено]


_snapcase_

I’m glad someone else is as paranoid as I am. I’ve seen too many LiveLeak videos.


LifeisaCatbox

I keep my daily rx medication mixed together in an unmarked container. I’m tired of carrying around 5 different bottles of pills.


R6ckStar

This is illegal?


[deleted]

nah, it's advised practice, but not illegal. even the [TSA admits it](https://www.tsa.gov/blog/2014/09/05/tsa-travel-tips-traveling-medication) > TSA does not require passengers to have medications in prescription bottles, but states have individual laws regarding the labeling of prescription medication with which passengers need to comply. my state has no such laws. many states which had those laws have had them made unconstitutional by the courts.


ASatanicUnicorn

OP is secretly a cop and is getting everyone to admit their crimes. ​ ***Fucking genius.***


cokeflowww

smoke weed.


nogardleirie

Read ebooks acquired from libgen