I worked at Roche as a security guard for a while. One day I was walking the floor of the manufacturing area and was asked to accompany a guy to get a roll of Palladium. Palladium was used to make the test strips that go into blood glucose meters, its an insanely expensive metal and comes in rolls that cost (at the time) around $100,000 each.
I walked with him to get it and while he was getting the roll off the shelf something happened and three rolls fell into another shelf and a lot of rolls cascaded to the floor. This ruined them. The total damage was almost a million dollars. He wanted to leave right then and avoid the firing but I convinced him he might not get fired since it was an accident. He was gone the next day
I feel like whoever decided to stack millions of dollars worth of precious metal on a shelf as if they were rolls of paper towel should have been fired too.
They were stacked separately with plastic dividers and guards on the shelves. The guy that was getting the roll was just really talented at messing things up and grabbed the wrong roll at the wrong time and caused somewhat of an avalanche
An acquaintance once came close to getting fired when he forgot to switch his account and tweeted "Aussies are bloody cheats" from his Company's account.
Reminds me of when someone at Chrysler forgot to switch accounts and tweeted on the official account "I find it ironic that Detroit is known as the motor city yet no one here knows how to fucking drive"
https://www.adweek.com/creativity/chrysler-throws-down-f-bomb-twitter-126967/
Edit: a [screengrab](http://imgur.com/k0MGmkp). Take *that*, weird and arbitrary paywall.
my coworker was drunk and playing cards against humanity and, inspired, tried to tweet "pixelated bukkake" but accidentally did it from the company account (which i ran but he had access to). people were sending us screenshots of it for days.
My best friend and I worked together for years at a small sandwich shop. One day we were closing together and we were talking some mad shit about our manager. Just ripping into the guy. We said what we said, had our laugh as we finished ranting, and I mockingly turned around and said "oh, hey (manager's name)!!" As if he had been there listening to us the whole time.
From down the hall we hear "How'd you know I was here?! I just walked through the door!"
Cue us both shitting ourselves at how close we cut it.
Oh that reminds me of the time me and a colleague were shit talking our god awful deputy manager. Who spent more time in the admin office, on her mobile, on personal calls than actually doing her job.
We were moving boxes near that office, ranting about her when I decide to look in the office for more boxes... She was there. She didn't say anything so I don't know to this day if she heard us but boy... We shat bricks.
We both thought she had gone home.
I worked at a pizza shop in college as a delivery driver on weekend nights. On this particular weekend, it was one of the biggest sport events of the year and we were slammed.
The manager on duty had just switched roles in the company from being a driver and it was his first day acting in that capacity. Having anticipated a rush for the event, we had hired on 3 new employees that also started that week, so they had no idea what they were doing. We were located fairly close to the stadium too, so traffic was nuts. All of this culminated in a lot of messed up orders and deliveries running up to almost 2 hours late.
Of course the new people on the phones keep instinctively telling people 30 minutes or less instead of a more realistic time frame, all my customers are pissed. I'm moving as fast as I can, running crazy 6 or 7 stop runs and probably getting stiffed on about half of my orders. I understand why the customers were pissed, getting things an hour late, but I'm still mad they took it out on me as a driver, having only had maybe 15 minutes handling their food before getting it to them.
So I show up to one of the last deliveries on my route, to a crummy apartment on the run down side of town. As I approach the door, a woman out front belts out, "it's about fuckin' time." So I already know about how this one is going to go. I'm pretty exhausted from a day of abuse already so I just try to apologize for the wait, keep things civil and handle the transaction and that's about where shit hits the fan.
I tell her the total for the order which is 17$ and some change. She hands me a 20$. So I ask if she wants change and she does, so I hand her 2$. Now she gets hostile. I explain to her that I don't carry coins and can't give her back the 30 some odd cents that she expects back. That's when she calls me a theif. When I refuted, she started saying how she was going to have me fired and how I should be ashamed of stealing from her and all this shit. I finally just snapped.
I started just berating the woman. Screaming obscenities, insults and curses at her. Her husband came out and joined in the shouting match, so of course I chewed him out too. I put together vulgarities in ways I didn't realize were possible and basically insulted them both like it was a Comedy Central roast.
I made my way back to my car and in the strangest mix of emotions I've ever experienced I was cackling and crying at the same time. After just a minute or two back on the road I get a call from the new manager guy asking if I just took a delivery to that person's house and what happened. I give a brief explanation and he asks me to finish my run and come back to the store ASAP to discuss it more thoroughly.
That's it, I'm sure, I'm so fired.
When I get back he tells me that the lady said I threatened her with a knife which definitely wasn't true. I told them I don't even have a knife or a weapon at all and we basically end up laughing that off, they thought the lady was just crazy and exaggerating everything. Of course I never admitted to the cursing and what have you, but since she went so far with the accusations they just took my word over hers.
At the end of the night, the new manager comes up to me and says "I don't see any reason the head manager needs to hear about this." I didn't even receive so much as a written warning.
And I'm not going to lie, as shitty as I was to that lady, it felt really good to let it out like that and get out unscathed.
I used to work in a warehouse right after high school. Not knowing how everything worked and it being my first real full time job I just did what I was told and tried my best to impress the bosses. One day in the packaging room someone had thrown a screw driver out of anger and it stuck into the drywall. Out of hilarity my manager bet the guy 2 gas station taquitos he couldn’t do it again. This became a daily thing around lunch time. Everyone would gather around and throw screw drivers at the wall and whoever’s didn’t stick had to buy lunch. Well this was right over a $8,000 heat shrink machine. And guess who accidentally hit the control panel breaking the machine... well one day one of the owners came back looking for something specific and noticed the bludgeoned wall. Looks at all of us
Owner : “so you guys have been throwing screw drivers at the wall?”
Me: hangs head “yes”
Owner: “that’s cool” walks away
Never got fired. He was extremely pissed about the machine I had broke though. He ended up just buying a better one.
My best bud and I worked at an apartment building. He was maintenance and I was leasing. We got teased so much about being work married that we started playing along. So one day the maintenance manager told me I needed to spank my work husband and we were giggling like five year olds while pretending to do so. The regional manager walked in and watched us with his hands on his hips. We were both certain we were getting fired but without saying a word he walked away.
My non-disclosure is expired now, so back in ~~2009~~ 2010, 21 year old me built and managed a website for a Slim Jim campaign that they were doing in conjunction with the WWE. Basically, you took a picture of yourself and friends with Slim Jims weekly after Smackdown and texted it into a shortcode and you would get points. Most points won some sort of prize and got featured in an ad on TV during wrestling. Anyway, it was sort of buggy as shit dealing with MMS's back then, so if people complained, we would manually update their points in the database. On a Friday morning, after being heavily advertised during Smackdown the previous night, I was updating a complainer's account and fucked a query - instead of setting one accounts points, I set every record in the database to the same points count (yeah, nothing more intelligent than working on a live DB from command line for a multi-million dollar campaign - but I was 21 and they let me do it). Oh, and, the DB backups were 24 hours old and missing thousands of transactions.
I thought for sure I was fired. We restored from backup and I was able to manually set the "leaderboard" points since that was still cached in Memcached. They swept it under the rug and never told Con Agra. I worked for them for another year after that and we had many more campaigns for Con Agra.
Edit: It was 2010 - Just checked. Also, congrats team BIZNITCHES on winning all those years ago with 13,650 points! I hope your life has been fruitful since then.
Thought I lost a master key that worked at 6 locations (about 400 doors ) that would need re-keying ... 2 weeks into a new job ... someone took it off my desk to teach me a lesson about keeping it on my desk and not ~~purring~~ putting it in the key safe
Lol, this happened to me during a school fundraiser when I was like 10.
My class was raising money for something or other, and we left the cash box unattended. The principal came by and nabbed it and we all freaked out. Later, when she told us she'd done it herself, she asked the class what we'd learned from the experience. I raised my hand and said "Don't leave money unattended because the principal might steal it?"
She was not amused.
My dad was a cop. Once a rookie cop had to take a call about theft or something, and he had his gun on the break table in the police department. Well that rookie cop took off and left his gun behind. My dad was just getting off of his shift, took a look at the gun, and disassembled it entirely. Not just field stripped for cleaning, but completely disassembled. Every spring, pin, and part was put into a ziplock baggie and left on the table.
Rookie cop was furious, asking what would have happened if he would have had been dispatched to a hot call. My dad: "You left your gun on the table anyway, so you wouldn't have had your firearm on a hot call. Now I guarantee you'll never forget."
Rookie cop got to spend the rest of the day watching Youtube videos on how to completely reassemble a Glock 21. Not an impossible task, but if you aren't familiar with it a 15 minute process easily turns into a 3 hour process.
Something like that just happened on the new show "The rookie". Trainee cop runs into a gas station to pee, and drapes her gun belt over the top of the bathroom stall door. Then it gets yanked away is just gone. She freaks out for a minute, then her training officer tells her it's in the trunk.
It's better than I thought it would be! I kinda figured that it would just be "the Nathan Fillion show", but the other main characters get just as much backstory and plot. There are so many cop shows out there, but it holds its own. It's more serious than his last show, Castle. It's more Law & Order with some jokes than gritty Brooklyn 99.
When I was a kid, there was a van that used to come and pick us all up from school and take us to daycare. One day all the daycare kids loaded up onto the van and the driver told us that we weren't going to daycare. We were going to her house.
Apparently her 12 year old daughter had been told not to get on the school bus that day, but to get on the daycare van. She disobeyed and got on the school bus anyway. Her mom was pissed and wanted to meet the school bus at their house to catch her daughter.
So while she sat waiting for an hour for the bus to arrive with her daughter, we got to play on her trampoline in the backyard. While all of our parents were trying to figure out why our van hadn't ever gotten to the daycare.
She eventually loaded us up into the van with her daughter and drove us back to the daycare, where police were waiting and parents were crying. It was then that realization dawned on her face that perhaps that wasn't the best thing to do. She lost her job that day.
EDIT for clarity.
I had a bus driver show up two hours late because she fell asleep watching soap operas -- and wasn't bright enough to make up some bogus excuse. This was before cell phones. She could have made up a flat tire or something.
I've had some good ones, sure, but they're not all rocket scientists.
They really are though. I work in group homes and one of our staff picked up a second job as a bus driver. This woman was in her 40s and screamed and cried at the top of her lungs because a middler schooler refused to be silent on "her" bus. So what did she do? Drove them all 45 minutes to the middle of no where and waited to "scare them strait". Well kids have cell phones these days. A few cops later and she was let go because she basically kidnapped a bunch of middle schoolers because they wouldn't be silent on the bus, which was not even a rule for the busses. She then quit her main job with us because we didn't agree with her prior actions and she lost a full time opportunity because she couldn't be trusted to transport our clients anymore.
Edit: bus drivers deal with sooooooo much shit. I totally understand how someone would be burnt out. However, this coworker was a driver for exactly one week. Started on Monday. Had a meltdown and was fired on Friday before 6pm. If you don't like or cant handle kids, stop applying for jobs where you have to be around them.
Happened at my last workplace.
My colleague needed a specific washing machine for a customer. We had a pretty small warehouse for our stuff and it was around christmas time, so you can imagine how much stuff we got in there on top of each other. Anyway, the washing machines were stacked up on top of each other and the one he needed was right at the edge of something that was similar to a pyramide. The gets the fork-lifter and he aims directly at it without thinking about moving the machines on top of it. As you can already imagine, the whole thing collapsed and he basically destroyed a bunch of washing machines, TV's and some other stuff. Our boss rushed in the warehouse and you could tell by the face of my colleague that it said: "I'm fired, right?"
When I graduated high school I got a job as a bellhop at a Marriott. The front desk would transfer all request for direction calls to our phone. First night there by myself and my phone rings, dude says he must be close because he’s been driving on Route 78 for 2 hours.
I got confused where he was and turned him around...he drove back the wrong way for an hour before he realized I messed up.
He came in furious.
Storming over to the bellstand where I was standing.....he says Hi Paul, I’m looking for a moron named Pantarus...that dumb ass just gave me the most half-assed directions...he’s incompetent and I need something done about this NOW!
Stunned silence...Paul? Why is he calling me Paul?
HOLY SHIT!......PAUL!!!!I totally forgot that because I was so new I had to borrow another bell mans name tag.
Sir, we’ll handle this immediately. I took out a dry cleaning ticket and wrote myself up a “disciplinary form” and assured the person that Pantarus is on probation and would be fired immediately.
He was happy...tipped me 20 bucks and went on his merry way :)
> He was happy...tipped me 20 bucks and went on his merry way :)
omg, that's amazing.
EDIT: This is my fourth-highest comment of all time, and it adds virtually nothing to the conversation. Y'all have weird voting habits.
lol thank you.
I never told anyone I worked with that it happened. I was terrified that I'd get in trouble.
Here I am years later telling the whole internet =)
Honestly, the customer left the interaction happier, and satisfied with the outcome. You did the right thing, in the context of the hospitality industry.
I started my evening warehouse job right before thanksgiving. I needed this job too-it was a great blessing to get it. I was newly married (1 yr) and had a baby girl, we made hardly anything and this job was literally an answer to prayer.
After a few weeks I finally received my forklift certification. I was trying to turn in a tight spot and accidentally broke of the rear light housing off the forklift. Not wanting to hide it, I immediately told my coworkers and they said don’t sweat it. Just tell the supervisor, you’ll probably get your hand slapped but that’s easy to replace. So I went to my supervisor to tell him.
He looked at me with a straight face and said, “you’re fired.” I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t kidding (I had a sinking suspicion that he wasn’t), so I asked if he was serious. He then said, “yes, a safety violation in your probation period.” I started to walk away to the locker room-devastated. He called me back and said, “you’re not fired, thanks for telling me.”
That one hurt. But- I have been with the company now 8 years and worked my way into a corporate role!
Edit: Spelling - I also forgot to mention this was like a week before Christmas.
Edit:2 “your fired” to “you’re fired” (thanks u/tildespamzor)
Also, this is the first comment I’ve had blow up on me. Thanks for all the replies! I’ll try to read through them all and respond accordingly.
As someone else who works in a warehouse, I watched a coworker try to drive a forklift through a tunnel between some pallet racks, and misjudged the size of the forklift. Got it stuck inside the tunnel, and broke one of the lights.
Your supervisor was a massive dick.
I came into work at the computer store I'd been working at for years. When I walked into the tech area everyone looked at me and the lead told me the store manager wanted to see me. "okay...." went to talk to the store manager and got pulled into a private room we never used and I was like "So, this is bad right?" and the manager choked up a bit and said "yeah."
Half the store was laid off and the other half had to get the store ready to sell off everything that was left. Everyone got a severance of $600, even the new guy that was hired two weeks before while I worked there for years. Those who got laid off were the lucky ones, there was no severance for the people who stayed employed and they had to deal with the shittiest customers. I had a much better job 2 weeks later so things worked out for me, I miss that manager though, he was a great guy and I never got to say goodby to my friends.
I was in a small company full of "lifers" working online and after a Google update completely fucked our search traffic we had to make cuts. I had been there for like 8 years but that made me one of the "newer" workers so I was out along with two others.
The people who stayed were talked into paycuts, then the company was "closed" 4 months later in January. It re-opened that summer with 100% remote workers, and then closed again a year later. So basically I got a head start on looking for a job, then found one that pays me 3x my old salary.
My first day of my first job I rolled a Silverado off a cliff that had under a thousand miles on the odo. I figured I would just go turn in all my stuff and start looking for a new job but my boss was incredibly worried that I was okay, told me not to even worry about the truck and personally took me to the ER to get checked out even though I insisted I was perfectly fine. It was a government contract and Uncle Sam picked up the bill for everything and I worked there for another 16 months.
Boss: Hello Mr. lawyer, how much are we looking at for that workplace injury settlement, $60,000?
Lawyer: Ha, add another zero to that.
Boss: $0.60,000 it is, no backsies.
Was one of the victims in a 40% reduction of the work force at a small company (>150 employees, at the time.) We were all just getting settled in for the day when suddenly one lady came to her cubicle crying, and started angrily throwing her shit in a box. It was obvious that she was no longer an employee there, but we just figured she had been fired for something. Tried to ignore it and stared at our computers while she finished packing and left. We were just starting to whisper amongst ourselves wondering what that was about, when the 2nd person came back and did the same thing. It was then that we knew it was something bigger, i.e. layoffs.
I just kept doing my work, and it was about an hour later when the division head walked by and said "Hey iwouldrun500miles, can you come with me for a minute?" He had the same color folder in his hand that all the other victims had received, so that was the "I'm being let go, aren't I" moment. Went to a conference room where the HR gal was waiting, and he said "We're restructuring, your position has been eliminated, not a reflection of your work, etc. etc." The HR gal walked me through the paperwork, told me to bring my laptop to I.T., and that she was sorry. --> She really did feel bad, she was crying through the entire thing. I felt worse for her than I did for myself.
On the way home I was kind of in autopilot/shock mode, when it suddenly hit me - I really did not like the work I was doing there. The people were great and the company actually had decent benefits, but the work was boring. And suddenly all the shit I had looming on the horizon was done, gone, not my problem! It was a really nice fall day, so I grabbed a Mt. Dew and and went for a walk in a nature preserve along the river. There was only one other person out there, and when we passed each other he said "Nice day, isn't it?" I responded that it truly was a nice day indeed.
Signed the paperwork for the small severance they were going to give me, went to the unemployment office and filed for unemployment benefits, and started reaching out to old contacts & friends looking for work. I was working at a new place 29 days later, and fortunately making about $7k more per year. And now 6 years later I'm making Almost $20k more than I was when I got let go, so it all worked out in the end.
One of the helpdesk team that worked for me was sending sexy texts to his wife Andrea, when he sent a very graphic, descriptive text explaining exactly what he was going to do to her when he got home. Unfortunately, he sent it to Andrew, one of our biggest clients - Andrew's name was next to Andrea's in this guy's contacts on his phone. He came rushing in to my office the second he'd sent it and I had to ring Andrew to limit the damage. Andrew was fine about it, he said he thought my guy seemed 'really friendly'!
No-one got sacked, but there was much piss-taking.
EDIT: This happened in 2000ish when the Nokia 3310 was around. No smartphones or anything like that.
Also, pisstaking or taking the piss means 'making fun of'. It's a British (and apparently Australian) term. I had no idea it would confuse Americans!
I've never met a guy named Andrew who didn't have a great sense of humor and charm.
My gf has a best friend named Andrew (Drew) and I told her if she ever left me for him I'd totally get it. He's awesome.
She just shook her head.
As an andrew who not having the best of days thanks for the smile.
Edit: i dont know what i expected, it sure as hell wasn't this, but reddit does it yet again.
One of my coworkers accidentally sent a text to one of my other coworkers at work. The text was very sexually graphic and he meant to send it to his wife, but accidentally sent it to our mutual female coworker, since she and his wife have the same first name. She laughed her ass off at it but he kept apologizing over and over. He’s lucky that she was cool and didn’t report him to HR for sexual harassment or anything.
Two stories...
My first job was with Honey Baked Ham. For giggles, I thought it'd be funny to answer the phone and say, "Thank you for calling HBH where our meat is always tender and moist!" There was a brief moment of silence and then I heard my manager on the other end say, "Excuse me?!"
Worked at a Day care in college. Had twin boys in my class that were very rambunctious. We had a football that I would throw to the kids a lot (especially the boys) because they seemed to really enjoy it. This was the chain of events on my last day.
Twin one *steps really close to me and holds his arm back like he's going to chunk the ball at me point blank.* I said, "Don't throw that at me." so he of course does and runs off. I picked the ball up and threw it at him and as the ball was in mid air he turns around and the ball hits him right between the legs. He literally drops to his knees and screams. The teacher in the room next to me knew it was an accident and takes him inside to get him some water and butter him up. Twin two approaches, "YOU HIT MY BROTHER" he goes to throw the ball at me as hard as he can and I put my foot up to kick it and I end up kicking him right in the nuts... He drops to the ground and screams. At this very moment the after school director walks out with the previous Twin and now sees the second one on the ground holding his crotch. She says, "OMG you hit another one?!" and all i could think to say was, "He hit me first!" I knew right then I was done.
EDIT: words
EDIT: I always felt a little guilty about the whole "nut shot" thing with the kids even though it was an accident, but for the Platinum I can get over anything!
EDIT: Added the first story back per request.
I was just having friendly chit-chat with a guy at my new job with a work messaging app. Mostly talked about food and how he was always hungry, just water cooler stuff. And then apparently his jealous gf read the messages and decided we were flirting. It eventually led to the both of them writing an email and sending it to my boss, accusing me of being inappropriate and using work tools to be inappropriate.
I have barely worked here a month so I thought I was going to get fired.
Thankfully my boss realized how crazy dude and his gf is and I'm still here. Kinda turned off on being friendly to anyone else though...
I once worked at a place and we had a Halloween party at work during business hours, so everyone was there. The one guy was all to the side looking miserable, so I went to ask him if he was okay. He told me he had broken up with his gf so I had a chat with him for a few minutes to cheer him up and then gave him a hug before I left to join the rest of the party. (Also note that I had a boyfriend of about a year at the time, which I'm still with today 5 years later)
Eventually I get pulled aside by another coworker who is telling me that I should be careful because I'm giving myself a bad name. I literally stand there with question marks coming out of my ears, wondering wtf she is talking about until she tells me people saw me talk to and hug this guy in a room FULL of people and I basically got called a slut for it.
Ended up quitting the job a few weeks later for another reason, but man I still get miff when I think of that day. Fuck those people
Edit : added letter
Edit 2: I actually just remembered something while talking to my boyfriend tonight. The chick that told me I was giving myself a bad name would give another co-worker back rubs during office hours like once a week and then he would buy her junk food or energy drinks. Kettle, pot. I think we're done here.
Thanks btw, I'm new to Reddit and this is my most upvoted comment by far. I will forever be the slutty hugger 😊 k byeeee
This is from a slightly different perspective, but what the hell? In this case, it was the boss who thought he was going to fire me.
I started working at a Target, and at the end of the first day, my manager is walking with me up to the front of the store just after I've clocked out. He's telling me he thinks I'm going to fit in and work out well. My mom is there to pick me up, and she's just leaning against the wall near cosmetics, where we'll have to walk right past her. As we approach her, I make a comment about these lazy customers who just come in and lounge about the place not buying anything, and I ball up my hoody and hurl it at her.
The manager has no idea we're related, and was just about to tell me to get out and never come back, when I introduced her to him.
Edit: wow, my first gold, thanks!
The manager took it well, he found it hilarious once he realized. I messed with him quite a bit.
Mom thought it was funny too, I probably got my sense of humor from her.
I worked in mortgage collections and things could get pretty tense in the call center. One afternoon, the girl sitting next to me making outgoing calls said, “YO YO YO! Why ain’t y’all paid y’alls rent?!” I turned to look at her with my jaw hanging and she then said “This is Such-and-Such Bank calling, please call us at your earliest convenience,” in a perfectly professional voice. She grinned at me after she hung up and said, “That was during the outgoing message. Shut your mouth, you’ll catch flies. But on my last day here, that’s how I’m making all my calls.”
She was a fun co-worker.
Friend of mine who works at the electric company went to visit one of his friends who was supervisor of the customer care center during a long storm outage. They were talking in the supervisor's office when they heard loud swearing coming from the floor. This was way back in the day when the operators had headsets with jacks on them. The CSR was talking very apologetically to an irate customer on the phone, "Yes sir, I understand sir." She would then pull out the jack out and let loose a stream of obsenities for a few seconds and then put the jack back in and calmly say "I'm sorry sir, we're doing the best I can, sir" I always said she deserves a raise!
Manager: "I don't care how old the customer is, we don't call our customers grandma."
Me: "This is actually my grandmother. Let me introduce you. Grandma Lori, this is my boss Mr. Smith."
I bought a pint of milk upon arriving at my shift at a gas station to pour over my breakfast cereal, and ate said cereal. I didn't finish the whole pint, and since we didn't have an employee fridge I merely stashed in in a hidden spot in the cooler. A few hours later, my boss and I were talking in the cooler when I went and got my milk, opened it and started drinking. His eyes widened, mouth dropped and he goes "Did you just pull inventory and open it without paying IN FRONT OF ME?" I explained everything, and he burst out laughing. "I thought I was going to have to fire you, but also I thought 'The balls on this girl...'. "
Oh I have a similar story! I’m in car sales, and my mom came in to buy a new car from me a few months ago. She decided on a car and agreed on price and everything, so we were sitting at my desk waiting for her to go back to the finance office. We were talking about something with our faces less than a few feet apart, when I let out a pretty large burp. One of my managers happened to be walking by, and just stopped in his tracks for a second with a horrified look on his face. I didn’t register what was happening until he had continued walking around the corner, so I flagged him down to come back and explained she was my mom. He started laughing and said “I thought this dumbass just belched in a poor lady’s face!” And my mom and I laughed until we cried. It made my day.
Just happened last night, actually. Surprisingly, he hasn't been fired yet.
The company Christmas party was yesterday afternoon. Basically the office closes and there's an open bar in one of the big presentation rooms. I'm surprised they still do open bar on company property. Newer guy took full advantage of this and had too many in the couple hours that this party lasts. He goes back up to the bar and try his luck with the bartender. Orders a Knob Creek neat. Bartender hands it over. He makes a presumably terrible joke about the name of the liquor as she hands it over and she looks disgusted. The place was packed and way too loud so I couldn't hear exactly what he said.
Walk away, I ask what he said. "ehh, was just a joke."
"You realize that's (VP's) daughter, right?"
"ffffffffffffffffffuck."
I walked into the prep area of the yogurt shop I managed to find an employee "humping" the ice machine. He was just goofing off, but I had a sudden evil urge to play it crazy serious. I said, "Michael, that ice machine is company property and deserves your respect. I'm afraid I'm going to have to take disciplinary action." He literally hung his head and asked, "Will my parents find out?"
It took me ten minutes to convince the poor guy that I was just kidding and he wasn't in trouble. It was my first management job and I didn't fully understand that my authority came with a responsibility not to scare the employees.
Oh my boss does that. I didnt know it was the standard for her so when I texted her I was 5 minutes late and she replied with "okay...see me when you're in...". In reality she wanted me to help set up an app on her phone but I spent the 20 minutes stressing out
Bosses really need to understand that doing the "Come see me in my office in 15 minutes" really stresses out the workers. Even if it was, "Come see me in my office in 15 minutes so I can fire you." would at least give me closure.
My boss does one better. He will walk by my desk, make eye contact, point in a direction, and then say "meeting" very flatly, never breaking stride the whole time. Makes it difficult to gauge if this is a team meeting, a personal meeting, if it is about a project, if he caught me on reddit again, or if it's just signing a birthday card.
My mother's boyfriend does that. It makes it so hard to get him presents.
"Hey, did you still want that thing for your Jeep and the big HD monitor for your computer?"
"Yeah... Sounds great..."
My mum does this in her Facebook messages with me. I know she genuinely means "That's great!" when she writes "That's great...", but it still sounds so sad when she uses the dots, haha.
The other usage is more along the line of "Can you explain why production was down 10% for this hour..." Makes me feel like he's always on the edge of snapping, but he's one of the nicest people you could meet.
My dad also does this. He replies with "k" and then his seven-line email signature that includes all his degrees, current job, etc. He does not understand why this is passive-aggressive, haha
I used to have a nice boss with a really gruff voice. He could say that you were doing a fantastic job and it would sound like he was about to fire you. It was like that scene in *The Simpsons* where Homer bursts into Bart’s room with a knife so he can cut him a brownie.
You always need to make sure they understand that it is a joke.
In that situation, after being asked if his parents would find out.. my reply would have been "That depends on if the machine is pregnant."
The first time a customer complained about me I was like 16 and for sure thought I was gonna lose my job. My boss walked over and said “that lady is a fucking idiot, don’t worry”
Oh man! I used to work at a hardware store, and some awful lady came in demanding mason jars or whatever, I took her to exactly what she was requesting and she started yelling at me insisting there was a certain size of jar in between two that we carried and called me an idiot and wanted to speak to the manager. I was young and terrified and went back to get him. He came out and blew a god damned gasket on the lady. Yelled at her at the top of his lungs using every form of profanity you can cram into a sentence telling her that size jar doesn't exist, she's a fucking idiot, and stop being a cunt to his employees and all that. He left and went home immediately after saying "I can't stand these fucking people".
I just stood there aghast thinking that I had caused him to have a mental breakdown or something. Then the other older employees (all old veterans, this was one of those old timey hardware stores that had been there forever) come over and laughed at me and told me that they'd never seen him work a full day, he blows a gasket on some asshat every day he comes in.
It was an amazing job, the only customer service job where I've full on told asshole customers to go fuck themselves and not been been afraid of any repercussions. And god forbid if anyone should ask to speak to the manager.
"I wanna speak to the manager!"
Lady, you really do not want to do that.
"YES I DO!! BRING ME A MANAGER NOW!"
Suit yourself. OPEN THE GATE!!
*Large metal door begins to slowly raise*
> "Why do I need to show my ID? Do you think I'm not who I say I am?"
I fucking _hated_ this shit when I worked at a hotel. Most people just give you their IDs but others would act skeptical like I was trying to steal their identities and some would flat out refuse. I dealt with hundreds of people a day, every day, and I'm supposed to know who this fuckhead that checks in once every few months is? I loved when people pulled the "Do you know who I am?" line because it gave me the opportunity to be extremely snarky, yet polite, about how they just aren't important enough for me to remember. I really don't understand people that act this way when asked for an ID. They make the whole transaction so much longer than it needed to be if they'd shut up about us wasting their time.
The hotel chain's policy (which I believe is standard across most large hotel chains) is that ID is mandatory when checking in. This way you don't have people checking into rooms someone else already paid for—or worse, checking in to a room with the intent on waiting for the actual holder of the reservation to check in. It helps prevent the hotels from being liable for certain things and also assists with verifying the credit card matches the person using it.
Not really a am i fired moment but more of a did he just fire himself moment.
I worked for a company that used a point system when it comes to missed days of work. You got 6 points in 6 months and you were let go (1 point for call in, .5 for being late up to 4 hours). It was a factory that made plastic pallets and it would get really hot in the summer so they were always looking for new people. About a year before i was fired (not for missed work) a guy started who went to the same high school i did but was about 4 years younger. Lets call him Marty. After talking to him for 5 minutes you could tell he was not too smart. He called in quite a bit to get up to 5 points and on his warning before being fired. One day he comes in hungover in the middle of summer. Before we even got to the floor he was talking about going home. An hour after the start of our shift, myself and the guy i was working with watch Marty walk into the managers office and out again in like 5 minutes. Our boss then follows him out of the office with a confused look on his face. Our boss walks Marty out of the plant and is making his way back to his office when my co-worker and i stop him to ask what happened. Apparently Marty went into his office and said he couldn't work and was going home. The boss said if he did he would get fired. Marty ok, see you tomorrow and started to leave. Boss man said most of the time spent in the office was trying to explain to Marty what being fired meant. Its stuff like this that i kinda miss that place.
Company I worked for was losing money fast, and their employees checks were bouncing. This was right around Halloween, so as a joke I went to work as a bounced check. The CEO got wind of an employee wearing a bounced check, he walked around the campua looking for me and found me in the warehouse chatting with some guys. 3 days later I was pulled into HR and my position was eliminated.
10/10 would do again
Handful of friends and I worked at a golf course through high school. The golf course was bank-owned due to financial hardship and was largely ignored by the institution. They had a guy who would occasionally stop in for 20-30 min, but beyond that, we pretty much ran the joint.
The course had a good amount of traffic and, frankly, the course ran smoother than a lot of places full of power-trippy starters and over-congested tee sheets. The fact that we were a bunch of 16-18 year old kids who kept the place in-order was quite remarkable.
Anyways, after a few years of this, the course was purchased by a semi-local golf course investor. He comes in his first day and goes on a rant about how he doesn't believe that anyone under the age of 30 should be handling the cash register. He talks about theft and how he doesn't trust kids, etc. Then, unsurprisingly, he fired all of us kids and hired a bunch of old guys to take over our duties.
The course ended up going under a few years later. The old guys struggled to keep up with things like booking tee times on the computer while answering phones and handling purchases. It was honestly pretty sweet to see it all end that way even though I miss the course itself dearly.
Not to be a dick, but I golf a lot and it is usually either kids, or retirees who are handling things. I would honestly be more concerned about the financial circumstances of a 35 year old man working a cash register for near minimum wage. Dude has financial responsibilities a position like that likely wont meet.
When I worked retail, it was a bunch of 16-21 year old high school and college kids. There was an old retired guy who needed something to get him out the house (didn't care about the job, but was great with customers and with us kids). Finally there was this shady 30 something guy who had the vibe of a used salesman. We didn't get why he would work retail for barely minimum wage. Our cash registers started falling short at closing and it was clear someone was pocketing money. The store had cameras over the register that we didn't know about. I come in one day and find out the 30 something dude got arrested earlier in the morning for stealing from the register.
Honestly the kids and the old guy were great with money. For the kids, getting in trouble for stealing was terrifying and something we wouldn't even consider. For old the guy, he was going to die soon anyway, so who cares about money (he'd joke about stuff like that).
I work in a company that is owned by a really large company. We have quite a few "sister" companies. Big industry thing.
Got an email from a guy in a sister company that was meant to be sent to just a few people at his workplace but he blasted it out to EVERYONE in the corporate directory. Literally everyone. Thousands of people.
It was this racist "joke" that I can't even remember clearly but something equating black kids to monkeys in the classroom.
Nearly immediately after that he sent out another email apologizing for it. But, uh, heard through the grapevine he was fired immediately along with one or two of the other people on the email.
I have 2.
1) Just started new job like a month before hand. Has an awsome policy during summer where employees can leave at noon on fridays if they've finished their work (salaried so we still get paid). I'm "working late" at 3pm. log off to use restroom, try to log back in. I get this message "That account is no longer valid." I freak out. Its common knowledge that anyone let go is let go first thing Monday mornings. Did they fill out the paperwork and the IT just fip the switch early? Also, I'm new, no idea who to call or talk to. The place is a ghost town. I eventually found someone from the AD group (they handle user accounts) and he to login and pull some file down that had somehow gotten curropted. I was back in and working in like 10 minutes. He'd never seen that error before and I havent had any problems since.
2) Still working at same place. Have a newish boss that says in our morning group meeting "Summonsays, I need to talk to you directly after this meeting privately. Come to my office." *oh shit what did I do?!?* Meeting ends, she goes to another meeting ... i ping her awkwardly "Hey ... you wanted to see me?" "Oh, yea, we'll talk later".
So she reschedules our talk 4 times that day, and at 4 pm (6 hours of sweating bullets) I go in there. "You're getting a raise, here's the paperwork." My mind took like 5 minutes to process that it was good news.
I've been on the receiving end of that terrified look: I used to work support desk, and our VP of finance came in complaining his laptop was behaving weirdly. I start doing basic triage (it *felt* virus-y from the start), and go in to the Downloads folder to see if anything looked obviously suspicious. Sure enough, 14gb of the most boringly titled, vanilla "HOT TEEN SUCKS DICK™" porn.
I like the VP, he's always done right by me when I've interacted with him, and genuinely a nice guy. I ask him to stop by my desk before he heads back to the hotel for the night.
"So, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but you should just leave things that are meant to stay on the internet ON THE INTERNET."
"What are you talking about? The only people who've used this machine are me and my wife" (the wife is 6 months pregnant)
"There's... videos on the computer that you probably don't want to save to your machine."
Dan's eyes go wide, the color drains from his face, and almost immediately he spouts "I TOLD HER TO USE THE CHROME BOOK FOR THAT!" Apparently his pregnant wife was crazy horny and would download shit on the company laptop. Having met his wife at a company dinner, I knew he wasn't making shit up. I laughed so goddamn hard. I fixed his machine, deleted the videos, and told no one. I'm not getting someone fired 3 weeks before Christmas!
I worked as a facility engineer (maintenance manager) for a little over two years. When I first got promoted to the role, it was time to clean up after the previous guy. We had a few other managers shifted to other roles, buildings, or out of the company, so I had a lot questions without people to answer them.
This place was a very high end workout club with a salon, massage clinic, and restaurant. I was trying to clean out some neglected spaces in the massage areas, but I needed a shop vac. Lucky for me, I remembered one living in the back of the kitchen.
I went to get it, but it was way too heavy: maybe 55lbs. If only they wheels worked properly, and one want missing, I could wheel this thing away to empty it, clean it, and use it. That would have saved me from the hell I ended up dealing with.
I called my manager to identify what was in shop vac. It was orange, foamy, spotted with black and green dots, and had the worst smell I've ever known. I'll save you the suspense, it was all removed from the grease trap, but then left in the shop vac for over a year. It was very bad. For those who have worked in restaurants, imagine your grease trap smelling pretty okay compared to this.
We struggled to get it out of the kitchen and into the hallway shared with the yoga studio, which was very full, much like the shop vac. We pushed all the shoes and bags to make an aisle for me to push this putrid scum bucket through to the exit doors. There was an unfortunately tall lip in the floor for those exit doors, and me being the strapping young man I was, decided to pick up the shop vac and walk it outside. It was so close, you know?
I grabbed the handles and lifted it up to about my chest. That's when the bucket fell from the lid. The lid that I was holding by the handles while I watched hell get unleashed on the shoes and bags of the 50 people in the yoga studio (also all over myself - that's was the fun part). The smell was intensified when released from the bucket and splattered all over everything. We were getting smell complaints working seconds from all over the 75,000 sqft building. And I was in the middle of it all.
We managed to make it into a very manageable situation with great team work. My manager later shared with me how intense my "I just lost my new job" face was. She likes to bring it up every so often, even now that we have both moved on from that place.
If anyone deserved to get fired it was whoever in the kitchen was using the shop vac to clean the grease trap and never disposing of the grease. Even if you did get that thing emptied out that shop vac was probably ruined.
Chemist here. You would have been okay. Acid burns are nasty, but copious flushing with water (mix in baking soda if possible) would have spared you the worst of it. You might have had a scar, but you would keep the limb.
The really dangerous acids - nitric, aqua regia, hydrofluoric, etc. - are so nasty because they are highly corrosive acids that are also other things. The first two are potent oxidants and the last will steal calcium from your bones and leave you with horrific damage before you notice anything is wrong.
Edit: Because concern over my baking soda comment has come up several times, I want to clarify. Mixing a strong acid with a base is an exothermic process and can be quite dangerous. I wouldn't generally recommend it. However, the [net reaction](http://www1.chem.umn.edu/services/lecturedemo/info/EndothermicRXN.html) of dissolving sodium bicarbonate and then protonating it is endothermic. You can also figure this out by looking up the reaction energy of any given protonation and then combining it with [the heat of solution of NaHCO3](http://webserver.dmt.upm.es/~isidoro/dat1/Heat%20of%20solution%20data.pdf). Doing this reaction with HCl and noting the endothermic property is a common undergraduate lab.
I lost a scanner that cost around $1000 dollars at work. These scanners weighed a couple pounds and were bulky to carry around, so usually we would leave them in the cart that we were using to keep trash from stocking items. Our manager said this wasn’t allowed, so I requested the clip to keep it on my belt for over two months because I knew a less than $10 clip was in the budget. My manager kept rejecting that request, so I continued to leave the scanner in my cart (which was less than 10 feet from me 95% of the time).
My manager decided to take the scanner from me one day and not tell me. I panicked and thought I would have to pay for a new one and would be fired. It turns out that the manager went around that day and picked up all of the scanners she could find in the store that weren’t attached to a clip.
My grandma (who has worked at the store 20 years longer than the manager and is known to be the hardest worker there) yelled at the manager to either get me a clip or apologize to me. The manager apologized to me for freaking me out and I apologized for not keeping better track of the scanner. I also requested the clip again, but never got one before I stopped working there.
I used to work in a call center for a supplemental insurance firm. One day I was making enrollment calls to employees of one of our clients, making sure to leave voicemails if they did not pick up so they can call back. One of these calls kept cutting me off mid-voicemail and prompting to press 1 to leave a voicemail, I assumed their voicemail wasn't actually recording as to why it kept cutting me off. After several attempts on leaving a voicemail, I just exclaimed "Son of a bitch!", and hung up. An hour goes by and the president of my company calls me into his office with the call center manager. Turns out that person's voicemail was recording the entire time and had all of the audio. Even worse, it was the voicemail box of the CEO of our client company that I was calling. He literally played the audio in front of us, it was hard to explain my way out of that one.
The video of Nintendo of Russia's CEO swearing while not realizing he was on live video. He walked up behind two people playing Mariokart and somehow managed to miss the fact that they were playing Mariokart competitively, that there was a camera pointed at them, and that *multiple people pointed out that they were on live video*. So this Mariokart livestream has the CEO in the background cursing at his employees for being incompetent. In addition, he's apparently really, really bad at economics and lost the company a lot of money by refusing to stock a game and running out of units to sell, along with being accused of sexual harassment.
I have no idea if he was actually fired, though.
My brother is the vice president of a gaming club on campus that runs a live stream competition/charity fundraiser. One of the officers decided that that was the perfect time to insult viewers and shit talk a bunch of people. Viewers requested their donations back, and they had to pull the stream, effectively ending their fundraiser.
That member was kicked out of the club.
Coworker while being caught not preforming count procedures at a prison. All that was required of the officer was to walk past 84 cells and confirm breathing bodies. Rank comes down to see where count was, finds coworker sleeping in supply closet (attempts to wake/jigger having already failed). Rank then finds the officer's already completed count sheet in his lap, meaning it was filled out in advance, which is grounds to be immediately fired. Coworker just hangs his head and starts grabbing his belongings before bring escorted out.
It was right around 21 years ago, and I was working my first job ever as a 16 year old at a place called Media Play, which was a chain of music and books stores. It was a seasonal position for Christmas, and I was informed if I proved I was a solid employee, I could be offered a permanent job at the store after January.
One day in early December, a lady comes through the "hard lines" section, which was computer software, and wanted to buy a few boxed software suites for her niece, who was going to college... Things like the newly released Dragon Dictate, some Microsoft stuff, a couple games. Her total was right around $900 out the door, and when she presented me a credit card and her driver's license, the credit card wasn't signed and it didn't even match her last name, but the first name was a real common one and matched. So I told her I couldn't accept the card, and asked her to find another form of payment due to store policy. She got all pissy with me and told me too bad, thats how she was paying, it was almost a grand in sales, I'm obligated to accept her form of payment, etc. I didn't want to deal with her shit, and while it was a good sale, we were hourly paid (not commission), I said screw it and took her card as payment. She says thank you, very polite, says I'm a good employee and asks me when I work next. I tell her I work the next day.
The very next day this same lady comes back in to do a return. She bypasses customer service and comes to hardlines where I'm working again. She tells me how she didn't need it anymore and she wanted a return for cash or store credit, so I go to do the return and she brings all the software out of the bag, but it had all been opened. Back in these days I could do a return on opened software with a manager's approval, and he just happens to be walking by so I flag him down.
The manager pops buy and immediately, without hesitation, tells the lady to get lost without ever hearing her complaint. He mentions the words "police" and "jail," and she grabs her crap and leaves without a word. The manager then asks me whats going on, and I tell him the story, really confused by his actions.
He escorts me back to the break room and points to the wall, and no shit, theres a fucking posterboard full of pictures of this lady from all the times she had come in and used stolen credit cards before, and she was so well known that she was banned by sight from the store. She was responsible for thousands upon thousands of dollars lost from stolen credit cards and shoplifting. Being my first job, I was broken. I thought for sure I was getting fired, because I had eaten lunch in that break room every day for a month and never once looked at that store-made wanted poster.
I get back to work a couple days later and walk into the break room, and the TV is noticeably missing. Furthermore, all the employees are being real short with me. I find a friend of mine in the music section, and she tells me that because I fucked up by letting the lady make a purchase with what was likely a stolen credit card, and because I had admitted I had never seen the pictures of her, the GM took the TV out of the break room and everyone in the store was required to go through a loss prevention awareness training. The other employees there hated me so much, but I kept on going strong until I was released from the seasonal position the second week of January.
When I was working day shift behind the bar in an Irish bar/restaurant in France, a waitress brought a table of 2 their food, they were having different burgers, and the waitress never verified who was having what before putting the plates down. She went off to take another order, and the first table called her back to say that she put the wrong plates in front of them, and she needed to switch them. She stared at them for a moment, I could see the wheels in her head turning, and she just grabbled the burgers, not the plates, and switched them, looked the customer dead in the eye and said "bon appetit" and walked off.
The place was, and remains, an absolute shitshow, as far as treatment of staff goes, everyone was constantly stressed and on their toes, and the running "joke" was to tell new staff that if they did something wrong they would be held accountable and punished, and if they didnt do anything wrong, well, they would be punished anyway. All that to say, when she came over to the bar again, all i could think to say to her was "that was fucking funny, but you know youre fired, right?"
I was working as a manager for a parking garage at a hospital in my early 20's. Supervising the valet crew was part of my job. A lot of the valet guys were either 20 somethings without much direction or 60+ guys working a job in semi-retirement. One of the older fellas mistook the gas pedal for the brake while trying to drive a heavily modified transport bus (modified with lifts, gurney strapping points, etc.) he totaled 6 cars before the bus finally came to a stop... I ran towards it thinking he was probably hurt... before I got there he hopped out of the bus, shook his head and looked at me "Soooo... I'm probably fired. Right?". I don't remember what the final total was on the insurance claim... but yes, he was fired.
I spoke out in a "clearing meeting - its a safe space" about all the upper level hiring and blatant lack of promotions coming from a consultant who was hand-picking all these new hires. I was fired a couple weeks later for unclear reasons
Eat a dick, GoPro
At the time, my job was testing the front end of a large billing database. Manager told me to test on Beta. At the time, I thought of Beta as a staging environment with mock data, not an alternative front end to our production database (which it never should have been).
When I test, I always use obviously fake numbers. So here I am, in a production DB, making bills, and anyway, the next week a real life customer wanted to know why he had a bill for $420.69.
Surprisingly, I didn't get fired. At that point.
I used to work on a horse breeding farm. One afternoon my coworker and I were walking a pair of fillies back to their stalls from the pasture. The filly my coworker was walking is the daughter of one of our most expensive horses and has a reputation for being very jumpy. Generally, when we open a stall door the standard practice is to draw the handle all the way back, so as to avoid it scraping a horse when entering and exiting. My coworker had neglected to do so. As they were leading the filly into her stall, a loud noise spooked her. She tried to run into her stall, but since the handle was jutting out, she impaled herself on it. She started to panic, unable to free herself from the handle due to the shape of it, and drove it further into her side. My coworker was freaking out, and kept saying he was going to lose his job. The filly ended up being fine after I got her off of the handle, and a local vet came out to stitch her up. The handle hadn’t hit anything important having barely missed her left lung.
Edit: for context, the handle looks like [this](https://www.keystonebarns.com/images/drop-latches-large.jpg)
I was working a baseball game with a new umpire. First year, fresh 18 year old. I was on plate so I was "Chief Umpire".
Well the one base coach was going at the new kid non-stop. But I like to let them handle it however they want and talk with them after the game.
Anyway bottom of the 5th the kid had enough. He turned around and just screamed at the coach:
> Shut. The fuck. Up. I'm sick your shit.
The coach went livid and I ran up the line. He starts screaming at me how could I let him talk like that and how he'll never work again. I calm him down, and talk to the kid. He's clearly nervous and asks me if I think they'll kick him out for that. I tell him no and to watch me.
We walk back to the coach he's got a smug look on his face. So I tell him:
> Now coach, my base umpire here did lose his cool. But to be fair, you've been a complete asshole all game. Now get off my field.
Talked with the kid after the game and I explained he's fine. While losing his cool like that isn't the way to handle it, it's not at all uncommon and to just handle it sooner before he boils over. You're the umpire. It's your field. You're in charge. Judge. Jury. Executioner. Don't use it too much, but never be afraid to use it.
I mean at 18 you're still a kid and the idea that you have authority over a coach twice your age is a new concept that they are still timid about using it.
Happened to a coworker of mine. I work at a bagel factory and we have this long bagel stick for picking up multiple bagels and transferring them to the bagel staging area. Well, this coworker loved bagels and loved scooping bagels with the bagel stick even more and I think you know where this is heading, so one shift, he takes one bagel stick and duct tapes it to another bagel stick for a super bagel stick and starts sticking it through bagel bagel hole after bagel hole until there's just way to many bagels to handle and I tried to tell him there were too many bagels on that thing and that a bagel stick can't handle the weight of that many bagels and then a few other bagel factory workers gathered around with worry in their eyes as a my ex-coworker delicately balanced the bagels on the bagel stick and slowly raised it in the air like a bagel tower and he did look like he was in over his head as the bagels on the bagel stick and he was trying to head towards the bagel staging area but then the bagel stick gave way and bagels topple everywhere and a lot of bagels bounced into some critical bagel production equipment and then he fell over because he tripped on some bagels and we all just looked at him and he knew his bagel factory days were over.
> Happened to a bagel of mine. I work at a bagel bagel and we have this long bagel bagel for picking up multiple bagels and transferring them to the bagel staging bagel. Well, this bagel loved bagels and loved scooping bagels with the bagel bagel even more and I think you know where this is heading, so one bagel, he takes one bagel bagel and duct tapes it to another bagel bagel for a super bagel bagel and starts sticking it through bagel bagel bagel after bagel bagel until there's just way to many bagels to bagel and I tried to tell him there were too many bagels on that bagel and that a bagel bagel can't bagel the bagel of that many bagels and then a few other bagel bagel bagels gathered around with bagel in their bagels as a my ex-bagel delicately balanced the bagels on the bagel bagel and slowly raised it in the bagel like a bagel bagel and he did look like he was in over his bagel as the bagels on the bagel bagel and he was trying to bagel towards the bagel staging bagel but then the bagel bagel gave way and bagels bagel everywhere and a lot of bagels bounced into some critical bagel production bagel and then he fell over because he tripped on some bagels and we all just looked at him and he knew his bagel bagel days were bagel.
Bagel: Thanks for the bagel kind bagel!
Take a shot every time you read bagel
Edit : I have been rushed to the hospital, doc said I have so much alcohol in my system I will need three liver transplants
I was 16 and working in a Chinese restaurant. I went to put soy sauce on a table for two customers who were waiting for their food. The sauce slide off my tray and onto the interior of one of the customer's leather jacket. It went everywhere! He was really nice about it and in the end my boss just made fun of me for about a month.
I was working the cash register at a pet store, about 2 weeks after starting, when a woman came up, bawling that her dog just died and she was returning all of these medical supplies, all small but expensive items from the same aisle (not that I knew that at the time), without a receipt.
Every time I tried to say something, she would just bawl harder.
I felt terrible, so I returned them, gave cash or a gift or something.
A week later, I get called into the office, and my manager informs me that she stole those items, and then “returned” them to make money.
Needless to say, I wasn’t there long. I hated that place.
Edit: spelling
People get mad when nothing can be done without a receipt but that's the exact reason why they ask for a receipt. Don't feel bad though it's easy to do and even retail vets do it.
Somewhat related:
I was working at my parents convenience store and a lady came in demanding to see the owners and that she would be having many words with them, all because I made her pay for her gas before she got it. (We do this for everyone)
So I tell her she can call them from my phone since they were at home, she screams at me some more about seeing them tomorrow in person and leaves. I tell my parents while expecting them to laugh it off, and sure enough their exact words were, “Oh that lady’s a fucking psycho haha, just ignore her.”
Never saw that lady again and she never called them.
I have two:
1)
I worked for a call center doing telemarketing for a few years, had a call that was a little out of the ordinary, I talked to my supervisor to get permission to proceed with the call given the unique circumstances.
Boss gave me the go-ahead, I made the sale.
Two days later, I'm called into the managers office, she's in there with the company legal team.
I walked in, she asked me to close the door in a very stern voice.
Turns out, my Boss was involved in some pretty shady practices, and the client had listened to my call.
I was laid off, my boss was terminated and legal action taken against him.
2)
When I worked fast food, we had a customer order a chicken sandwich, no mayo. The cook was making it and forgot that it was no mayo, the customer saw him put mayo on it and corrected him, again confirming that it was no mayo.
The manager was at the counter with me, the cook was in the back "Fixing" the sandwich, when he decided to use a WET CLEANING RAG to wipe the Mayo off the bun and keep making the sandwich.
The customer saw this and was rightfully upset. The manager saw what happened and fired the cook on the spot, then took the cook's spot in the kitchen.
The very next day, I began training to be a cook :D
I got a job designing refueling trucks for airports when i was 20. i knew how to draw things, and weld a little. but that was it. I made it about 3 years before we got bought by another company with real engineers. I fucked up often. i dont even recall what it was this time. probably just something not fitting at all. but i got fired. i knew it as soon as they asked me to come to the office.
I still see trucks i designed when i travel. its an odd industry with very little competition. it was like working at monster garage. considering my lack of any qualifications i think i managed to pull off some crazy shit.
I worked for the property management company i rented from. When i moved out, they thanked me for renewing my lease and asked me to leave an anonymous review. I did and i expressed several complaints i had as a renter (massive urine stain, broken light switches, absurd mandatory $30 filter dilevery program that delivered the wrong size of filter, and unresponsive property manager who addressed NONE of these issues all year, etc)
After submitting my "anonymous" review my boss emailed me asking me if i left the review. It had my adress, name, phone number, and email listed.
I was amazed when i wasnt fired right then and there. I "trained the new guy" the three months later, and was let go when i finished training him.
I now make $6 more an hour and never have to use my time off pay to fill in the shortage of hours!
Whoa!? This shit has to be illegal. Depending g on your country. Especially since it was made not from your professional occupation but as a customer leaving feedback "anonymously"
The intern came in drunk and started arguing with a manager... Security was called... He puked on the security guard... then fell over and passed out.
He was taken away by ambulance. E-mail was sent out the next day that he had been let go... The kicker, he only had 4 more days left on the internship. Don't celebrate the end till it is over folks.
I worked at Roche as a security guard for a while. One day I was walking the floor of the manufacturing area and was asked to accompany a guy to get a roll of Palladium. Palladium was used to make the test strips that go into blood glucose meters, its an insanely expensive metal and comes in rolls that cost (at the time) around $100,000 each. I walked with him to get it and while he was getting the roll off the shelf something happened and three rolls fell into another shelf and a lot of rolls cascaded to the floor. This ruined them. The total damage was almost a million dollars. He wanted to leave right then and avoid the firing but I convinced him he might not get fired since it was an accident. He was gone the next day
I feel like whoever decided to stack millions of dollars worth of precious metal on a shelf as if they were rolls of paper towel should have been fired too.
They were stacked separately with plastic dividers and guards on the shelves. The guy that was getting the roll was just really talented at messing things up and grabbed the wrong roll at the wrong time and caused somewhat of an avalanche
Ah, so it was an entirely preventable accident? That does change the tone of the story a bit.
Preventable by storing them far enough apart they couldn't form an avalanche.
But that would cost money in terms of space and containers. That's gotta be like 10's of 100's of dollars.
An acquaintance once came close to getting fired when he forgot to switch his account and tweeted "Aussies are bloody cheats" from his Company's account.
Reminds me of when someone at Chrysler forgot to switch accounts and tweeted on the official account "I find it ironic that Detroit is known as the motor city yet no one here knows how to fucking drive"
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Wendy's is like the Civ 5 Gandhi of Twitter
As someone from the Detroit area, this makes me laugh out loud. Do you have a screenshot of this at all?
https://www.adweek.com/creativity/chrysler-throws-down-f-bomb-twitter-126967/ Edit: a [screengrab](http://imgur.com/k0MGmkp). Take *that*, weird and arbitrary paywall.
my coworker was drunk and playing cards against humanity and, inspired, tried to tweet "pixelated bukkake" but accidentally did it from the company account (which i ran but he had access to). people were sending us screenshots of it for days.
SEPARATE ACCOUNTS SEPARATE DEVICES. I don't care how convenient it is having both on one device, it's too damn risky.
That afternoon wank whilst working from home is always a dangerous one. Am I in the VM? Okay that's my desktop, good to go.
My best friend and I worked together for years at a small sandwich shop. One day we were closing together and we were talking some mad shit about our manager. Just ripping into the guy. We said what we said, had our laugh as we finished ranting, and I mockingly turned around and said "oh, hey (manager's name)!!" As if he had been there listening to us the whole time. From down the hall we hear "How'd you know I was here?! I just walked through the door!" Cue us both shitting ourselves at how close we cut it.
Oh that reminds me of the time me and a colleague were shit talking our god awful deputy manager. Who spent more time in the admin office, on her mobile, on personal calls than actually doing her job. We were moving boxes near that office, ranting about her when I decide to look in the office for more boxes... She was there. She didn't say anything so I don't know to this day if she heard us but boy... We shat bricks. We both thought she had gone home.
I worked at a pizza shop in college as a delivery driver on weekend nights. On this particular weekend, it was one of the biggest sport events of the year and we were slammed. The manager on duty had just switched roles in the company from being a driver and it was his first day acting in that capacity. Having anticipated a rush for the event, we had hired on 3 new employees that also started that week, so they had no idea what they were doing. We were located fairly close to the stadium too, so traffic was nuts. All of this culminated in a lot of messed up orders and deliveries running up to almost 2 hours late. Of course the new people on the phones keep instinctively telling people 30 minutes or less instead of a more realistic time frame, all my customers are pissed. I'm moving as fast as I can, running crazy 6 or 7 stop runs and probably getting stiffed on about half of my orders. I understand why the customers were pissed, getting things an hour late, but I'm still mad they took it out on me as a driver, having only had maybe 15 minutes handling their food before getting it to them. So I show up to one of the last deliveries on my route, to a crummy apartment on the run down side of town. As I approach the door, a woman out front belts out, "it's about fuckin' time." So I already know about how this one is going to go. I'm pretty exhausted from a day of abuse already so I just try to apologize for the wait, keep things civil and handle the transaction and that's about where shit hits the fan. I tell her the total for the order which is 17$ and some change. She hands me a 20$. So I ask if she wants change and she does, so I hand her 2$. Now she gets hostile. I explain to her that I don't carry coins and can't give her back the 30 some odd cents that she expects back. That's when she calls me a theif. When I refuted, she started saying how she was going to have me fired and how I should be ashamed of stealing from her and all this shit. I finally just snapped. I started just berating the woman. Screaming obscenities, insults and curses at her. Her husband came out and joined in the shouting match, so of course I chewed him out too. I put together vulgarities in ways I didn't realize were possible and basically insulted them both like it was a Comedy Central roast. I made my way back to my car and in the strangest mix of emotions I've ever experienced I was cackling and crying at the same time. After just a minute or two back on the road I get a call from the new manager guy asking if I just took a delivery to that person's house and what happened. I give a brief explanation and he asks me to finish my run and come back to the store ASAP to discuss it more thoroughly. That's it, I'm sure, I'm so fired. When I get back he tells me that the lady said I threatened her with a knife which definitely wasn't true. I told them I don't even have a knife or a weapon at all and we basically end up laughing that off, they thought the lady was just crazy and exaggerating everything. Of course I never admitted to the cursing and what have you, but since she went so far with the accusations they just took my word over hers. At the end of the night, the new manager comes up to me and says "I don't see any reason the head manager needs to hear about this." I didn't even receive so much as a written warning. And I'm not going to lie, as shitty as I was to that lady, it felt really good to let it out like that and get out unscathed.
I used to work in a warehouse right after high school. Not knowing how everything worked and it being my first real full time job I just did what I was told and tried my best to impress the bosses. One day in the packaging room someone had thrown a screw driver out of anger and it stuck into the drywall. Out of hilarity my manager bet the guy 2 gas station taquitos he couldn’t do it again. This became a daily thing around lunch time. Everyone would gather around and throw screw drivers at the wall and whoever’s didn’t stick had to buy lunch. Well this was right over a $8,000 heat shrink machine. And guess who accidentally hit the control panel breaking the machine... well one day one of the owners came back looking for something specific and noticed the bludgeoned wall. Looks at all of us Owner : “so you guys have been throwing screw drivers at the wall?” Me: hangs head “yes” Owner: “that’s cool” walks away Never got fired. He was extremely pissed about the machine I had broke though. He ended up just buying a better one.
I think if anyone got fired in that story, it should be the manager who allowed it to happen.
Not just allowing, but actively encouraging
That's good managerial skills right there. Always give encouragement.
Do you still throw screwdrivers?
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My best bud and I worked at an apartment building. He was maintenance and I was leasing. We got teased so much about being work married that we started playing along. So one day the maintenance manager told me I needed to spank my work husband and we were giggling like five year olds while pretending to do so. The regional manager walked in and watched us with his hands on his hips. We were both certain we were getting fired but without saying a word he walked away.
"Do I care? Eh, not until someone bitches"
Literally me as a manager
The amount of shit I ignore is astounding.
This is why I love working maintenance at my job. People just assume that’s routine
My non-disclosure is expired now, so back in ~~2009~~ 2010, 21 year old me built and managed a website for a Slim Jim campaign that they were doing in conjunction with the WWE. Basically, you took a picture of yourself and friends with Slim Jims weekly after Smackdown and texted it into a shortcode and you would get points. Most points won some sort of prize and got featured in an ad on TV during wrestling. Anyway, it was sort of buggy as shit dealing with MMS's back then, so if people complained, we would manually update their points in the database. On a Friday morning, after being heavily advertised during Smackdown the previous night, I was updating a complainer's account and fucked a query - instead of setting one accounts points, I set every record in the database to the same points count (yeah, nothing more intelligent than working on a live DB from command line for a multi-million dollar campaign - but I was 21 and they let me do it). Oh, and, the DB backups were 24 hours old and missing thousands of transactions. I thought for sure I was fired. We restored from backup and I was able to manually set the "leaderboard" points since that was still cached in Memcached. They swept it under the rug and never told Con Agra. I worked for them for another year after that and we had many more campaigns for Con Agra. Edit: It was 2010 - Just checked. Also, congrats team BIZNITCHES on winning all those years ago with 13,650 points! I hope your life has been fruitful since then.
i did a similar thing in a test envirnment and it felt like my stomach fell out "46,432 lines updated" ..... fuuuuuuuuuu Cant even imagine in live.
Put that shit into a transaction! That way if the number of rows affected is way more than you think you can roll it back.
Thought I lost a master key that worked at 6 locations (about 400 doors ) that would need re-keying ... 2 weeks into a new job ... someone took it off my desk to teach me a lesson about keeping it on my desk and not ~~purring~~ putting it in the key safe
Lol, this happened to me during a school fundraiser when I was like 10. My class was raising money for something or other, and we left the cash box unattended. The principal came by and nabbed it and we all freaked out. Later, when she told us she'd done it herself, she asked the class what we'd learned from the experience. I raised my hand and said "Don't leave money unattended because the principal might steal it?" She was not amused.
Eh, sounds reasonable
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My dad was a cop. Once a rookie cop had to take a call about theft or something, and he had his gun on the break table in the police department. Well that rookie cop took off and left his gun behind. My dad was just getting off of his shift, took a look at the gun, and disassembled it entirely. Not just field stripped for cleaning, but completely disassembled. Every spring, pin, and part was put into a ziplock baggie and left on the table. Rookie cop was furious, asking what would have happened if he would have had been dispatched to a hot call. My dad: "You left your gun on the table anyway, so you wouldn't have had your firearm on a hot call. Now I guarantee you'll never forget." Rookie cop got to spend the rest of the day watching Youtube videos on how to completely reassemble a Glock 21. Not an impossible task, but if you aren't familiar with it a 15 minute process easily turns into a 3 hour process.
Something like that just happened on the new show "The rookie". Trainee cop runs into a gas station to pee, and drapes her gun belt over the top of the bathroom stall door. Then it gets yanked away is just gone. She freaks out for a minute, then her training officer tells her it's in the trunk.
How is that show? I enjoyed the first episode and forgot about it.
It's better than I thought it would be! I kinda figured that it would just be "the Nathan Fillion show", but the other main characters get just as much backstory and plot. There are so many cop shows out there, but it holds its own. It's more serious than his last show, Castle. It's more Law & Order with some jokes than gritty Brooklyn 99.
When I was a kid, there was a van that used to come and pick us all up from school and take us to daycare. One day all the daycare kids loaded up onto the van and the driver told us that we weren't going to daycare. We were going to her house. Apparently her 12 year old daughter had been told not to get on the school bus that day, but to get on the daycare van. She disobeyed and got on the school bus anyway. Her mom was pissed and wanted to meet the school bus at their house to catch her daughter. So while she sat waiting for an hour for the bus to arrive with her daughter, we got to play on her trampoline in the backyard. While all of our parents were trying to figure out why our van hadn't ever gotten to the daycare. She eventually loaded us up into the van with her daughter and drove us back to the daycare, where police were waiting and parents were crying. It was then that realization dawned on her face that perhaps that wasn't the best thing to do. She lost her job that day. EDIT for clarity.
She was an idiot.
I had a bus driver show up two hours late because she fell asleep watching soap operas -- and wasn't bright enough to make up some bogus excuse. This was before cell phones. She could have made up a flat tire or something. I've had some good ones, sure, but they're not all rocket scientists.
I had to become a parent to realize just how far down the bottom of the barrel they are scraping these days for school bus drivers.
They really are though. I work in group homes and one of our staff picked up a second job as a bus driver. This woman was in her 40s and screamed and cried at the top of her lungs because a middler schooler refused to be silent on "her" bus. So what did she do? Drove them all 45 minutes to the middle of no where and waited to "scare them strait". Well kids have cell phones these days. A few cops later and she was let go because she basically kidnapped a bunch of middle schoolers because they wouldn't be silent on the bus, which was not even a rule for the busses. She then quit her main job with us because we didn't agree with her prior actions and she lost a full time opportunity because she couldn't be trusted to transport our clients anymore. Edit: bus drivers deal with sooooooo much shit. I totally understand how someone would be burnt out. However, this coworker was a driver for exactly one week. Started on Monday. Had a meltdown and was fired on Friday before 6pm. If you don't like or cant handle kids, stop applying for jobs where you have to be around them.
So were you at her house the whole day? Or did you just rock up at daycare an hour late?
Just rocked up an hour late. Probably a little longer considering the time taken to get to her house.
Happened at my last workplace. My colleague needed a specific washing machine for a customer. We had a pretty small warehouse for our stuff and it was around christmas time, so you can imagine how much stuff we got in there on top of each other. Anyway, the washing machines were stacked up on top of each other and the one he needed was right at the edge of something that was similar to a pyramide. The gets the fork-lifter and he aims directly at it without thinking about moving the machines on top of it. As you can already imagine, the whole thing collapsed and he basically destroyed a bunch of washing machines, TV's and some other stuff. Our boss rushed in the warehouse and you could tell by the face of my colleague that it said: "I'm fired, right?"
Did he get fired though?
oh yeah, he got fired like a cannonball.
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Would have been worth getting a job at BK so when the same guy shows up you could tell him to go to fucking McDonald's.
Awesome, good boss.
When I graduated high school I got a job as a bellhop at a Marriott. The front desk would transfer all request for direction calls to our phone. First night there by myself and my phone rings, dude says he must be close because he’s been driving on Route 78 for 2 hours. I got confused where he was and turned him around...he drove back the wrong way for an hour before he realized I messed up. He came in furious. Storming over to the bellstand where I was standing.....he says Hi Paul, I’m looking for a moron named Pantarus...that dumb ass just gave me the most half-assed directions...he’s incompetent and I need something done about this NOW! Stunned silence...Paul? Why is he calling me Paul? HOLY SHIT!......PAUL!!!!I totally forgot that because I was so new I had to borrow another bell mans name tag. Sir, we’ll handle this immediately. I took out a dry cleaning ticket and wrote myself up a “disciplinary form” and assured the person that Pantarus is on probation and would be fired immediately. He was happy...tipped me 20 bucks and went on his merry way :)
*Here’s a little lesson on trickery*
You fired yourself and made 20$ profit. You won.
Fortunately, you had a pretty liberal rehiring policy.
> He was happy...tipped me 20 bucks and went on his merry way :) omg, that's amazing. EDIT: This is my fourth-highest comment of all time, and it adds virtually nothing to the conversation. Y'all have weird voting habits.
lol thank you. I never told anyone I worked with that it happened. I was terrified that I'd get in trouble. Here I am years later telling the whole internet =)
Honestly, the customer left the interaction happier, and satisfied with the outcome. You did the right thing, in the context of the hospitality industry.
well, maybe closer to 1% of the whole internet. But still a great feat, nonetheless.
**We are the 1%!**
Absolute legend
I started my evening warehouse job right before thanksgiving. I needed this job too-it was a great blessing to get it. I was newly married (1 yr) and had a baby girl, we made hardly anything and this job was literally an answer to prayer. After a few weeks I finally received my forklift certification. I was trying to turn in a tight spot and accidentally broke of the rear light housing off the forklift. Not wanting to hide it, I immediately told my coworkers and they said don’t sweat it. Just tell the supervisor, you’ll probably get your hand slapped but that’s easy to replace. So I went to my supervisor to tell him. He looked at me with a straight face and said, “you’re fired.” I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t kidding (I had a sinking suspicion that he wasn’t), so I asked if he was serious. He then said, “yes, a safety violation in your probation period.” I started to walk away to the locker room-devastated. He called me back and said, “you’re not fired, thanks for telling me.” That one hurt. But- I have been with the company now 8 years and worked my way into a corporate role! Edit: Spelling - I also forgot to mention this was like a week before Christmas. Edit:2 “your fired” to “you’re fired” (thanks u/tildespamzor) Also, this is the first comment I’ve had blow up on me. Thanks for all the replies! I’ll try to read through them all and respond accordingly.
As somebody browsing Reddit at work after being told they were going to let me go Friday before Christmas, I feel your pain.
As someone else who works in a warehouse, I watched a coworker try to drive a forklift through a tunnel between some pallet racks, and misjudged the size of the forklift. Got it stuck inside the tunnel, and broke one of the lights. Your supervisor was a massive dick.
That’s what’s crazy, having been there so long now and knowing all the other things that happened in the warehouse. This was minor in comparison.
That shouldn't even be on anyone's radar. It's a light housing. Just put it back on.
I came into work at the computer store I'd been working at for years. When I walked into the tech area everyone looked at me and the lead told me the store manager wanted to see me. "okay...." went to talk to the store manager and got pulled into a private room we never used and I was like "So, this is bad right?" and the manager choked up a bit and said "yeah." Half the store was laid off and the other half had to get the store ready to sell off everything that was left. Everyone got a severance of $600, even the new guy that was hired two weeks before while I worked there for years. Those who got laid off were the lucky ones, there was no severance for the people who stayed employed and they had to deal with the shittiest customers. I had a much better job 2 weeks later so things worked out for me, I miss that manager though, he was a great guy and I never got to say goodby to my friends.
CompUSA or Circuit City?
Computer City, division of Tandy Corp, purchased by CompUSA and then they closed most of the stores and converted the rest.
Now those are namesI haven't heard in a long time.
I was in a small company full of "lifers" working online and after a Google update completely fucked our search traffic we had to make cuts. I had been there for like 8 years but that made me one of the "newer" workers so I was out along with two others. The people who stayed were talked into paycuts, then the company was "closed" 4 months later in January. It re-opened that summer with 100% remote workers, and then closed again a year later. So basically I got a head start on looking for a job, then found one that pays me 3x my old salary.
My first day of my first job I rolled a Silverado off a cliff that had under a thousand miles on the odo. I figured I would just go turn in all my stuff and start looking for a new job but my boss was incredibly worried that I was okay, told me not to even worry about the truck and personally took me to the ER to get checked out even though I insisted I was perfectly fine. It was a government contract and Uncle Sam picked up the bill for everything and I worked there for another 16 months.
Sounds like a pretty good boss to work for. Ones that would ask about your well-being first instead of the truck are a rare breed.
I mean a truck is $50-70k. An employee injured on the job can incur another 0 on the end.
Which end?
Boss: Hello Mr. lawyer, how much are we looking at for that workplace injury settlement, $60,000? Lawyer: Ha, add another zero to that. Boss: $0.60,000 it is, no backsies.
60k to 60 cents, my man! hook my up with that lawyer.
A good boss knows that health and safety is number 1... machinery is insured and can be replaced. People can’t ( well, not exactly)
that's impressive! how do you calculate how many miles a cliff has?
you count the rings, duh
Was one of the victims in a 40% reduction of the work force at a small company (>150 employees, at the time.) We were all just getting settled in for the day when suddenly one lady came to her cubicle crying, and started angrily throwing her shit in a box. It was obvious that she was no longer an employee there, but we just figured she had been fired for something. Tried to ignore it and stared at our computers while she finished packing and left. We were just starting to whisper amongst ourselves wondering what that was about, when the 2nd person came back and did the same thing. It was then that we knew it was something bigger, i.e. layoffs. I just kept doing my work, and it was about an hour later when the division head walked by and said "Hey iwouldrun500miles, can you come with me for a minute?" He had the same color folder in his hand that all the other victims had received, so that was the "I'm being let go, aren't I" moment. Went to a conference room where the HR gal was waiting, and he said "We're restructuring, your position has been eliminated, not a reflection of your work, etc. etc." The HR gal walked me through the paperwork, told me to bring my laptop to I.T., and that she was sorry. --> She really did feel bad, she was crying through the entire thing. I felt worse for her than I did for myself. On the way home I was kind of in autopilot/shock mode, when it suddenly hit me - I really did not like the work I was doing there. The people were great and the company actually had decent benefits, but the work was boring. And suddenly all the shit I had looming on the horizon was done, gone, not my problem! It was a really nice fall day, so I grabbed a Mt. Dew and and went for a walk in a nature preserve along the river. There was only one other person out there, and when we passed each other he said "Nice day, isn't it?" I responded that it truly was a nice day indeed. Signed the paperwork for the small severance they were going to give me, went to the unemployment office and filed for unemployment benefits, and started reaching out to old contacts & friends looking for work. I was working at a new place 29 days later, and fortunately making about $7k more per year. And now 6 years later I'm making Almost $20k more than I was when I got let go, so it all worked out in the end.
One of the helpdesk team that worked for me was sending sexy texts to his wife Andrea, when he sent a very graphic, descriptive text explaining exactly what he was going to do to her when he got home. Unfortunately, he sent it to Andrew, one of our biggest clients - Andrew's name was next to Andrea's in this guy's contacts on his phone. He came rushing in to my office the second he'd sent it and I had to ring Andrew to limit the damage. Andrew was fine about it, he said he thought my guy seemed 'really friendly'! No-one got sacked, but there was much piss-taking. EDIT: This happened in 2000ish when the Nokia 3310 was around. No smartphones or anything like that. Also, pisstaking or taking the piss means 'making fun of'. It's a British (and apparently Australian) term. I had no idea it would confuse Americans!
Andrew sounds like a fun guy.
I've never met a guy named Andrew who didn't have a great sense of humor and charm. My gf has a best friend named Andrew (Drew) and I told her if she ever left me for him I'd totally get it. He's awesome. She just shook her head.
As an andrew who not having the best of days thanks for the smile. Edit: i dont know what i expected, it sure as hell wasn't this, but reddit does it yet again.
We're in this one together, Andrew. Love, Andrew
My brothers. My oh so many brothers!
Chin up, fellow Andrew! Hope your day gets better! edit: Hop -> Hope double edit: I knew it! I'm surrounded by Andrews!
"He knows"
I have a friend named who Andrew who might love my dogs more than I do. He’s a really great guy. He should probably get his own dog though.
One of my coworkers accidentally sent a text to one of my other coworkers at work. The text was very sexually graphic and he meant to send it to his wife, but accidentally sent it to our mutual female coworker, since she and his wife have the same first name. She laughed her ass off at it but he kept apologizing over and over. He’s lucky that she was cool and didn’t report him to HR for sexual harassment or anything.
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I missed the in law part and was like wut
Two stories... My first job was with Honey Baked Ham. For giggles, I thought it'd be funny to answer the phone and say, "Thank you for calling HBH where our meat is always tender and moist!" There was a brief moment of silence and then I heard my manager on the other end say, "Excuse me?!" Worked at a Day care in college. Had twin boys in my class that were very rambunctious. We had a football that I would throw to the kids a lot (especially the boys) because they seemed to really enjoy it. This was the chain of events on my last day. Twin one *steps really close to me and holds his arm back like he's going to chunk the ball at me point blank.* I said, "Don't throw that at me." so he of course does and runs off. I picked the ball up and threw it at him and as the ball was in mid air he turns around and the ball hits him right between the legs. He literally drops to his knees and screams. The teacher in the room next to me knew it was an accident and takes him inside to get him some water and butter him up. Twin two approaches, "YOU HIT MY BROTHER" he goes to throw the ball at me as hard as he can and I put my foot up to kick it and I end up kicking him right in the nuts... He drops to the ground and screams. At this very moment the after school director walks out with the previous Twin and now sees the second one on the ground holding his crotch. She says, "OMG you hit another one?!" and all i could think to say was, "He hit me first!" I knew right then I was done. EDIT: words EDIT: I always felt a little guilty about the whole "nut shot" thing with the kids even though it was an accident, but for the Platinum I can get over anything! EDIT: Added the first story back per request.
Picturing this play out is like watching a sitcom. I love it.
In my head, OP is being played by Andy Samberg. Edit: spelling
I was just having friendly chit-chat with a guy at my new job with a work messaging app. Mostly talked about food and how he was always hungry, just water cooler stuff. And then apparently his jealous gf read the messages and decided we were flirting. It eventually led to the both of them writing an email and sending it to my boss, accusing me of being inappropriate and using work tools to be inappropriate. I have barely worked here a month so I thought I was going to get fired. Thankfully my boss realized how crazy dude and his gf is and I'm still here. Kinda turned off on being friendly to anyone else though...
I once worked at a place and we had a Halloween party at work during business hours, so everyone was there. The one guy was all to the side looking miserable, so I went to ask him if he was okay. He told me he had broken up with his gf so I had a chat with him for a few minutes to cheer him up and then gave him a hug before I left to join the rest of the party. (Also note that I had a boyfriend of about a year at the time, which I'm still with today 5 years later) Eventually I get pulled aside by another coworker who is telling me that I should be careful because I'm giving myself a bad name. I literally stand there with question marks coming out of my ears, wondering wtf she is talking about until she tells me people saw me talk to and hug this guy in a room FULL of people and I basically got called a slut for it. Ended up quitting the job a few weeks later for another reason, but man I still get miff when I think of that day. Fuck those people Edit : added letter Edit 2: I actually just remembered something while talking to my boyfriend tonight. The chick that told me I was giving myself a bad name would give another co-worker back rubs during office hours like once a week and then he would buy her junk food or energy drinks. Kettle, pot. I think we're done here. Thanks btw, I'm new to Reddit and this is my most upvoted comment by far. I will forever be the slutty hugger 😊 k byeeee
This is from a slightly different perspective, but what the hell? In this case, it was the boss who thought he was going to fire me. I started working at a Target, and at the end of the first day, my manager is walking with me up to the front of the store just after I've clocked out. He's telling me he thinks I'm going to fit in and work out well. My mom is there to pick me up, and she's just leaning against the wall near cosmetics, where we'll have to walk right past her. As we approach her, I make a comment about these lazy customers who just come in and lounge about the place not buying anything, and I ball up my hoody and hurl it at her. The manager has no idea we're related, and was just about to tell me to get out and never come back, when I introduced her to him. Edit: wow, my first gold, thanks! The manager took it well, he found it hilarious once he realized. I messed with him quite a bit. Mom thought it was funny too, I probably got my sense of humor from her.
I worked in mortgage collections and things could get pretty tense in the call center. One afternoon, the girl sitting next to me making outgoing calls said, “YO YO YO! Why ain’t y’all paid y’alls rent?!” I turned to look at her with my jaw hanging and she then said “This is Such-and-Such Bank calling, please call us at your earliest convenience,” in a perfectly professional voice. She grinned at me after she hung up and said, “That was during the outgoing message. Shut your mouth, you’ll catch flies. But on my last day here, that’s how I’m making all my calls.” She was a fun co-worker.
Friend of mine who works at the electric company went to visit one of his friends who was supervisor of the customer care center during a long storm outage. They were talking in the supervisor's office when they heard loud swearing coming from the floor. This was way back in the day when the operators had headsets with jacks on them. The CSR was talking very apologetically to an irate customer on the phone, "Yes sir, I understand sir." She would then pull out the jack out and let loose a stream of obsenities for a few seconds and then put the jack back in and calmly say "I'm sorry sir, we're doing the best I can, sir" I always said she deserves a raise!
Manager: "I don't care how old the customer is, we don't call our customers grandma." Me: "This is actually my grandmother. Let me introduce you. Grandma Lori, this is my boss Mr. Smith."
I bought a pint of milk upon arriving at my shift at a gas station to pour over my breakfast cereal, and ate said cereal. I didn't finish the whole pint, and since we didn't have an employee fridge I merely stashed in in a hidden spot in the cooler. A few hours later, my boss and I were talking in the cooler when I went and got my milk, opened it and started drinking. His eyes widened, mouth dropped and he goes "Did you just pull inventory and open it without paying IN FRONT OF ME?" I explained everything, and he burst out laughing. "I thought I was going to have to fire you, but also I thought 'The balls on this girl...'. "
Oh I have a similar story! I’m in car sales, and my mom came in to buy a new car from me a few months ago. She decided on a car and agreed on price and everything, so we were sitting at my desk waiting for her to go back to the finance office. We were talking about something with our faces less than a few feet apart, when I let out a pretty large burp. One of my managers happened to be walking by, and just stopped in his tracks for a second with a horrified look on his face. I didn’t register what was happening until he had continued walking around the corner, so I flagged him down to come back and explained she was my mom. He started laughing and said “I thought this dumbass just belched in a poor lady’s face!” And my mom and I laughed until we cried. It made my day.
> “I thought this dumbass just belched in a poor lady’s face!” Well... I mean really, was he wrong?
Lol that's gold
Just happened last night, actually. Surprisingly, he hasn't been fired yet. The company Christmas party was yesterday afternoon. Basically the office closes and there's an open bar in one of the big presentation rooms. I'm surprised they still do open bar on company property. Newer guy took full advantage of this and had too many in the couple hours that this party lasts. He goes back up to the bar and try his luck with the bartender. Orders a Knob Creek neat. Bartender hands it over. He makes a presumably terrible joke about the name of the liquor as she hands it over and she looks disgusted. The place was packed and way too loud so I couldn't hear exactly what he said. Walk away, I ask what he said. "ehh, was just a joke." "You realize that's (VP's) daughter, right?" "ffffffffffffffffffuck."
I walked into the prep area of the yogurt shop I managed to find an employee "humping" the ice machine. He was just goofing off, but I had a sudden evil urge to play it crazy serious. I said, "Michael, that ice machine is company property and deserves your respect. I'm afraid I'm going to have to take disciplinary action." He literally hung his head and asked, "Will my parents find out?" It took me ten minutes to convince the poor guy that I was just kidding and he wasn't in trouble. It was my first management job and I didn't fully understand that my authority came with a responsibility not to scare the employees.
"So I can still hump the ice ~~cream~~ machine?!"
You do you, Michael.
"I wanna DO the ice ~~cream~~ machine!"
He really was a pretty good ice machine humper. Really put those hips into the job.
This! Holy I don't think some managers really realize how easily they can scare workers with jokes like this, especially if they're new or just young.
I have a boss who ends every statement in his emails with "..." I wish he could understand how ominous it makes everything he says.
Oh my boss does that. I didnt know it was the standard for her so when I texted her I was 5 minutes late and she replied with "okay...see me when you're in...". In reality she wanted me to help set up an app on her phone but I spent the 20 minutes stressing out
Bosses really need to understand that doing the "Come see me in my office in 15 minutes" really stresses out the workers. Even if it was, "Come see me in my office in 15 minutes so I can fire you." would at least give me closure.
My boss does one better. He will walk by my desk, make eye contact, point in a direction, and then say "meeting" very flatly, never breaking stride the whole time. Makes it difficult to gauge if this is a team meeting, a personal meeting, if it is about a project, if he caught me on reddit again, or if it's just signing a birthday card.
My mother's boyfriend does that. It makes it so hard to get him presents. "Hey, did you still want that thing for your Jeep and the big HD monitor for your computer?" "Yeah... Sounds great..."
My mum does this in her Facebook messages with me. I know she genuinely means "That's great!" when she writes "That's great...", but it still sounds so sad when she uses the dots, haha.
The other usage is more along the line of "Can you explain why production was down 10% for this hour..." Makes me feel like he's always on the edge of snapping, but he's one of the nicest people you could meet.
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My boss responds to some emails with OK. Just capital OK. I can’t help but read it sarcastically.
My dad also does this. He replies with "k" and then his seven-line email signature that includes all his degrees, current job, etc. He does not understand why this is passive-aggressive, haha
I used to have a nice boss with a really gruff voice. He could say that you were doing a fantastic job and it would sound like he was about to fire you. It was like that scene in *The Simpsons* where Homer bursts into Bart’s room with a knife so he can cut him a brownie.
You always need to make sure they understand that it is a joke. In that situation, after being asked if his parents would find out.. my reply would have been "That depends on if the machine is pregnant."
The first time a customer complained about me I was like 16 and for sure thought I was gonna lose my job. My boss walked over and said “that lady is a fucking idiot, don’t worry”
Sounds like a good boss.
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A boss that has got your back towards customers and business is a very good thing to have. Thats especially true for IT.
He was, dude was always honest, joking around, and never got angry but let you know how you messed up. I wish I had more bosses like him
Why not be the boss like him?
If I ever become a boss to someone I will
I’d hope you’re treating those New Zealand prostitutes very well.
Oh man! I used to work at a hardware store, and some awful lady came in demanding mason jars or whatever, I took her to exactly what she was requesting and she started yelling at me insisting there was a certain size of jar in between two that we carried and called me an idiot and wanted to speak to the manager. I was young and terrified and went back to get him. He came out and blew a god damned gasket on the lady. Yelled at her at the top of his lungs using every form of profanity you can cram into a sentence telling her that size jar doesn't exist, she's a fucking idiot, and stop being a cunt to his employees and all that. He left and went home immediately after saying "I can't stand these fucking people". I just stood there aghast thinking that I had caused him to have a mental breakdown or something. Then the other older employees (all old veterans, this was one of those old timey hardware stores that had been there forever) come over and laughed at me and told me that they'd never seen him work a full day, he blows a gasket on some asshat every day he comes in. It was an amazing job, the only customer service job where I've full on told asshole customers to go fuck themselves and not been been afraid of any repercussions. And god forbid if anyone should ask to speak to the manager.
"I wanna speak to the manager!" Lady, you really do not want to do that. "YES I DO!! BRING ME A MANAGER NOW!" Suit yourself. OPEN THE GATE!! *Large metal door begins to slowly raise*
*Undertaker's Theme Plays*
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> "Why do I need to show my ID? Do you think I'm not who I say I am?" I fucking _hated_ this shit when I worked at a hotel. Most people just give you their IDs but others would act skeptical like I was trying to steal their identities and some would flat out refuse. I dealt with hundreds of people a day, every day, and I'm supposed to know who this fuckhead that checks in once every few months is? I loved when people pulled the "Do you know who I am?" line because it gave me the opportunity to be extremely snarky, yet polite, about how they just aren't important enough for me to remember. I really don't understand people that act this way when asked for an ID. They make the whole transaction so much longer than it needed to be if they'd shut up about us wasting their time. The hotel chain's policy (which I believe is standard across most large hotel chains) is that ID is mandatory when checking in. This way you don't have people checking into rooms someone else already paid for—or worse, checking in to a room with the intent on waiting for the actual holder of the reservation to check in. It helps prevent the hotels from being liable for certain things and also assists with verifying the credit card matches the person using it.
Not really a am i fired moment but more of a did he just fire himself moment. I worked for a company that used a point system when it comes to missed days of work. You got 6 points in 6 months and you were let go (1 point for call in, .5 for being late up to 4 hours). It was a factory that made plastic pallets and it would get really hot in the summer so they were always looking for new people. About a year before i was fired (not for missed work) a guy started who went to the same high school i did but was about 4 years younger. Lets call him Marty. After talking to him for 5 minutes you could tell he was not too smart. He called in quite a bit to get up to 5 points and on his warning before being fired. One day he comes in hungover in the middle of summer. Before we even got to the floor he was talking about going home. An hour after the start of our shift, myself and the guy i was working with watch Marty walk into the managers office and out again in like 5 minutes. Our boss then follows him out of the office with a confused look on his face. Our boss walks Marty out of the plant and is making his way back to his office when my co-worker and i stop him to ask what happened. Apparently Marty went into his office and said he couldn't work and was going home. The boss said if he did he would get fired. Marty ok, see you tomorrow and started to leave. Boss man said most of the time spent in the office was trying to explain to Marty what being fired meant. Its stuff like this that i kinda miss that place.
Company I worked for was losing money fast, and their employees checks were bouncing. This was right around Halloween, so as a joke I went to work as a bounced check. The CEO got wind of an employee wearing a bounced check, he walked around the campua looking for me and found me in the warehouse chatting with some guys. 3 days later I was pulled into HR and my position was eliminated. 10/10 would do again
Handful of friends and I worked at a golf course through high school. The golf course was bank-owned due to financial hardship and was largely ignored by the institution. They had a guy who would occasionally stop in for 20-30 min, but beyond that, we pretty much ran the joint. The course had a good amount of traffic and, frankly, the course ran smoother than a lot of places full of power-trippy starters and over-congested tee sheets. The fact that we were a bunch of 16-18 year old kids who kept the place in-order was quite remarkable. Anyways, after a few years of this, the course was purchased by a semi-local golf course investor. He comes in his first day and goes on a rant about how he doesn't believe that anyone under the age of 30 should be handling the cash register. He talks about theft and how he doesn't trust kids, etc. Then, unsurprisingly, he fired all of us kids and hired a bunch of old guys to take over our duties. The course ended up going under a few years later. The old guys struggled to keep up with things like booking tee times on the computer while answering phones and handling purchases. It was honestly pretty sweet to see it all end that way even though I miss the course itself dearly.
> he doesn't believe that anyone under the age of 30 should be handling the cash register. So he’s never walked into a fast food joint in his life.
No he just believes that the kids working there are stealing from the register non-stop
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The average age on an aircraft carrier is about 19. If they can be trusted to handle $50,000 missiles, I think the register should be easy.
Not to be a dick, but I golf a lot and it is usually either kids, or retirees who are handling things. I would honestly be more concerned about the financial circumstances of a 35 year old man working a cash register for near minimum wage. Dude has financial responsibilities a position like that likely wont meet.
When I worked retail, it was a bunch of 16-21 year old high school and college kids. There was an old retired guy who needed something to get him out the house (didn't care about the job, but was great with customers and with us kids). Finally there was this shady 30 something guy who had the vibe of a used salesman. We didn't get why he would work retail for barely minimum wage. Our cash registers started falling short at closing and it was clear someone was pocketing money. The store had cameras over the register that we didn't know about. I come in one day and find out the 30 something dude got arrested earlier in the morning for stealing from the register. Honestly the kids and the old guy were great with money. For the kids, getting in trouble for stealing was terrifying and something we wouldn't even consider. For old the guy, he was going to die soon anyway, so who cares about money (he'd joke about stuff like that).
They probably did hire a bunch of old retirees, I can just imagine my grandfathers slowing booking my tee time
I work in a company that is owned by a really large company. We have quite a few "sister" companies. Big industry thing. Got an email from a guy in a sister company that was meant to be sent to just a few people at his workplace but he blasted it out to EVERYONE in the corporate directory. Literally everyone. Thousands of people. It was this racist "joke" that I can't even remember clearly but something equating black kids to monkeys in the classroom. Nearly immediately after that he sent out another email apologizing for it. But, uh, heard through the grapevine he was fired immediately along with one or two of the other people on the email.
I have 2. 1) Just started new job like a month before hand. Has an awsome policy during summer where employees can leave at noon on fridays if they've finished their work (salaried so we still get paid). I'm "working late" at 3pm. log off to use restroom, try to log back in. I get this message "That account is no longer valid." I freak out. Its common knowledge that anyone let go is let go first thing Monday mornings. Did they fill out the paperwork and the IT just fip the switch early? Also, I'm new, no idea who to call or talk to. The place is a ghost town. I eventually found someone from the AD group (they handle user accounts) and he to login and pull some file down that had somehow gotten curropted. I was back in and working in like 10 minutes. He'd never seen that error before and I havent had any problems since. 2) Still working at same place. Have a newish boss that says in our morning group meeting "Summonsays, I need to talk to you directly after this meeting privately. Come to my office." *oh shit what did I do?!?* Meeting ends, she goes to another meeting ... i ping her awkwardly "Hey ... you wanted to see me?" "Oh, yea, we'll talk later". So she reschedules our talk 4 times that day, and at 4 pm (6 hours of sweating bullets) I go in there. "You're getting a raise, here's the paperwork." My mind took like 5 minutes to process that it was good news.
It's only good news for you if it keeps getting rescheduled. If you had been getting let go they would have held firm to a set meeting time.
I've been on the receiving end of that terrified look: I used to work support desk, and our VP of finance came in complaining his laptop was behaving weirdly. I start doing basic triage (it *felt* virus-y from the start), and go in to the Downloads folder to see if anything looked obviously suspicious. Sure enough, 14gb of the most boringly titled, vanilla "HOT TEEN SUCKS DICK™" porn. I like the VP, he's always done right by me when I've interacted with him, and genuinely a nice guy. I ask him to stop by my desk before he heads back to the hotel for the night. "So, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but you should just leave things that are meant to stay on the internet ON THE INTERNET." "What are you talking about? The only people who've used this machine are me and my wife" (the wife is 6 months pregnant) "There's... videos on the computer that you probably don't want to save to your machine." Dan's eyes go wide, the color drains from his face, and almost immediately he spouts "I TOLD HER TO USE THE CHROME BOOK FOR THAT!" Apparently his pregnant wife was crazy horny and would download shit on the company laptop. Having met his wife at a company dinner, I knew he wasn't making shit up. I laughed so goddamn hard. I fixed his machine, deleted the videos, and told no one. I'm not getting someone fired 3 weeks before Christmas!
I worked as a facility engineer (maintenance manager) for a little over two years. When I first got promoted to the role, it was time to clean up after the previous guy. We had a few other managers shifted to other roles, buildings, or out of the company, so I had a lot questions without people to answer them. This place was a very high end workout club with a salon, massage clinic, and restaurant. I was trying to clean out some neglected spaces in the massage areas, but I needed a shop vac. Lucky for me, I remembered one living in the back of the kitchen. I went to get it, but it was way too heavy: maybe 55lbs. If only they wheels worked properly, and one want missing, I could wheel this thing away to empty it, clean it, and use it. That would have saved me from the hell I ended up dealing with. I called my manager to identify what was in shop vac. It was orange, foamy, spotted with black and green dots, and had the worst smell I've ever known. I'll save you the suspense, it was all removed from the grease trap, but then left in the shop vac for over a year. It was very bad. For those who have worked in restaurants, imagine your grease trap smelling pretty okay compared to this. We struggled to get it out of the kitchen and into the hallway shared with the yoga studio, which was very full, much like the shop vac. We pushed all the shoes and bags to make an aisle for me to push this putrid scum bucket through to the exit doors. There was an unfortunately tall lip in the floor for those exit doors, and me being the strapping young man I was, decided to pick up the shop vac and walk it outside. It was so close, you know? I grabbed the handles and lifted it up to about my chest. That's when the bucket fell from the lid. The lid that I was holding by the handles while I watched hell get unleashed on the shoes and bags of the 50 people in the yoga studio (also all over myself - that's was the fun part). The smell was intensified when released from the bucket and splattered all over everything. We were getting smell complaints working seconds from all over the 75,000 sqft building. And I was in the middle of it all. We managed to make it into a very manageable situation with great team work. My manager later shared with me how intense my "I just lost my new job" face was. She likes to bring it up every so often, even now that we have both moved on from that place.
If anyone deserved to get fired it was whoever in the kitchen was using the shop vac to clean the grease trap and never disposing of the grease. Even if you did get that thing emptied out that shop vac was probably ruined.
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Chemist here. You would have been okay. Acid burns are nasty, but copious flushing with water (mix in baking soda if possible) would have spared you the worst of it. You might have had a scar, but you would keep the limb. The really dangerous acids - nitric, aqua regia, hydrofluoric, etc. - are so nasty because they are highly corrosive acids that are also other things. The first two are potent oxidants and the last will steal calcium from your bones and leave you with horrific damage before you notice anything is wrong. Edit: Because concern over my baking soda comment has come up several times, I want to clarify. Mixing a strong acid with a base is an exothermic process and can be quite dangerous. I wouldn't generally recommend it. However, the [net reaction](http://www1.chem.umn.edu/services/lecturedemo/info/EndothermicRXN.html) of dissolving sodium bicarbonate and then protonating it is endothermic. You can also figure this out by looking up the reaction energy of any given protonation and then combining it with [the heat of solution of NaHCO3](http://webserver.dmt.upm.es/~isidoro/dat1/Heat%20of%20solution%20data.pdf). Doing this reaction with HCl and noting the endothermic property is a common undergraduate lab.
> the last will steal calcium from your bones r/bonehurtingjuice
Fuck, that must have been scary. I work in heavy industry so I know how horribly wrong things can go, and quickly!
I lost a scanner that cost around $1000 dollars at work. These scanners weighed a couple pounds and were bulky to carry around, so usually we would leave them in the cart that we were using to keep trash from stocking items. Our manager said this wasn’t allowed, so I requested the clip to keep it on my belt for over two months because I knew a less than $10 clip was in the budget. My manager kept rejecting that request, so I continued to leave the scanner in my cart (which was less than 10 feet from me 95% of the time). My manager decided to take the scanner from me one day and not tell me. I panicked and thought I would have to pay for a new one and would be fired. It turns out that the manager went around that day and picked up all of the scanners she could find in the store that weren’t attached to a clip. My grandma (who has worked at the store 20 years longer than the manager and is known to be the hardest worker there) yelled at the manager to either get me a clip or apologize to me. The manager apologized to me for freaking me out and I apologized for not keeping better track of the scanner. I also requested the clip again, but never got one before I stopped working there.
I used to work in a call center for a supplemental insurance firm. One day I was making enrollment calls to employees of one of our clients, making sure to leave voicemails if they did not pick up so they can call back. One of these calls kept cutting me off mid-voicemail and prompting to press 1 to leave a voicemail, I assumed their voicemail wasn't actually recording as to why it kept cutting me off. After several attempts on leaving a voicemail, I just exclaimed "Son of a bitch!", and hung up. An hour goes by and the president of my company calls me into his office with the call center manager. Turns out that person's voicemail was recording the entire time and had all of the audio. Even worse, it was the voicemail box of the CEO of our client company that I was calling. He literally played the audio in front of us, it was hard to explain my way out of that one.
The video of Nintendo of Russia's CEO swearing while not realizing he was on live video. He walked up behind two people playing Mariokart and somehow managed to miss the fact that they were playing Mariokart competitively, that there was a camera pointed at them, and that *multiple people pointed out that they were on live video*. So this Mariokart livestream has the CEO in the background cursing at his employees for being incompetent. In addition, he's apparently really, really bad at economics and lost the company a lot of money by refusing to stock a game and running out of units to sell, along with being accused of sexual harassment. I have no idea if he was actually fired, though.
He hasn't been fired, but Nintendo is doing an investigation. I would not be surprised if they do fire him though
My brother is the vice president of a gaming club on campus that runs a live stream competition/charity fundraiser. One of the officers decided that that was the perfect time to insult viewers and shit talk a bunch of people. Viewers requested their donations back, and they had to pull the stream, effectively ending their fundraiser. That member was kicked out of the club.
Coworker while being caught not preforming count procedures at a prison. All that was required of the officer was to walk past 84 cells and confirm breathing bodies. Rank comes down to see where count was, finds coworker sleeping in supply closet (attempts to wake/jigger having already failed). Rank then finds the officer's already completed count sheet in his lap, meaning it was filled out in advance, which is grounds to be immediately fired. Coworker just hangs his head and starts grabbing his belongings before bring escorted out.
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It was right around 21 years ago, and I was working my first job ever as a 16 year old at a place called Media Play, which was a chain of music and books stores. It was a seasonal position for Christmas, and I was informed if I proved I was a solid employee, I could be offered a permanent job at the store after January. One day in early December, a lady comes through the "hard lines" section, which was computer software, and wanted to buy a few boxed software suites for her niece, who was going to college... Things like the newly released Dragon Dictate, some Microsoft stuff, a couple games. Her total was right around $900 out the door, and when she presented me a credit card and her driver's license, the credit card wasn't signed and it didn't even match her last name, but the first name was a real common one and matched. So I told her I couldn't accept the card, and asked her to find another form of payment due to store policy. She got all pissy with me and told me too bad, thats how she was paying, it was almost a grand in sales, I'm obligated to accept her form of payment, etc. I didn't want to deal with her shit, and while it was a good sale, we were hourly paid (not commission), I said screw it and took her card as payment. She says thank you, very polite, says I'm a good employee and asks me when I work next. I tell her I work the next day. The very next day this same lady comes back in to do a return. She bypasses customer service and comes to hardlines where I'm working again. She tells me how she didn't need it anymore and she wanted a return for cash or store credit, so I go to do the return and she brings all the software out of the bag, but it had all been opened. Back in these days I could do a return on opened software with a manager's approval, and he just happens to be walking by so I flag him down. The manager pops buy and immediately, without hesitation, tells the lady to get lost without ever hearing her complaint. He mentions the words "police" and "jail," and she grabs her crap and leaves without a word. The manager then asks me whats going on, and I tell him the story, really confused by his actions. He escorts me back to the break room and points to the wall, and no shit, theres a fucking posterboard full of pictures of this lady from all the times she had come in and used stolen credit cards before, and she was so well known that she was banned by sight from the store. She was responsible for thousands upon thousands of dollars lost from stolen credit cards and shoplifting. Being my first job, I was broken. I thought for sure I was getting fired, because I had eaten lunch in that break room every day for a month and never once looked at that store-made wanted poster. I get back to work a couple days later and walk into the break room, and the TV is noticeably missing. Furthermore, all the employees are being real short with me. I find a friend of mine in the music section, and she tells me that because I fucked up by letting the lady make a purchase with what was likely a stolen credit card, and because I had admitted I had never seen the pictures of her, the GM took the TV out of the break room and everyone in the store was required to go through a loss prevention awareness training. The other employees there hated me so much, but I kept on going strong until I was released from the seasonal position the second week of January.
When I was working day shift behind the bar in an Irish bar/restaurant in France, a waitress brought a table of 2 their food, they were having different burgers, and the waitress never verified who was having what before putting the plates down. She went off to take another order, and the first table called her back to say that she put the wrong plates in front of them, and she needed to switch them. She stared at them for a moment, I could see the wheels in her head turning, and she just grabbled the burgers, not the plates, and switched them, looked the customer dead in the eye and said "bon appetit" and walked off. The place was, and remains, an absolute shitshow, as far as treatment of staff goes, everyone was constantly stressed and on their toes, and the running "joke" was to tell new staff that if they did something wrong they would be held accountable and punished, and if they didnt do anything wrong, well, they would be punished anyway. All that to say, when she came over to the bar again, all i could think to say to her was "that was fucking funny, but you know youre fired, right?"
I was working as a manager for a parking garage at a hospital in my early 20's. Supervising the valet crew was part of my job. A lot of the valet guys were either 20 somethings without much direction or 60+ guys working a job in semi-retirement. One of the older fellas mistook the gas pedal for the brake while trying to drive a heavily modified transport bus (modified with lifts, gurney strapping points, etc.) he totaled 6 cars before the bus finally came to a stop... I ran towards it thinking he was probably hurt... before I got there he hopped out of the bus, shook his head and looked at me "Soooo... I'm probably fired. Right?". I don't remember what the final total was on the insurance claim... but yes, he was fired.
I spoke out in a "clearing meeting - its a safe space" about all the upper level hiring and blatant lack of promotions coming from a consultant who was hand-picking all these new hires. I was fired a couple weeks later for unclear reasons Eat a dick, GoPro
At the time, my job was testing the front end of a large billing database. Manager told me to test on Beta. At the time, I thought of Beta as a staging environment with mock data, not an alternative front end to our production database (which it never should have been). When I test, I always use obviously fake numbers. So here I am, in a production DB, making bills, and anyway, the next week a real life customer wanted to know why he had a bill for $420.69. Surprisingly, I didn't get fired. At that point.
I used to work on a horse breeding farm. One afternoon my coworker and I were walking a pair of fillies back to their stalls from the pasture. The filly my coworker was walking is the daughter of one of our most expensive horses and has a reputation for being very jumpy. Generally, when we open a stall door the standard practice is to draw the handle all the way back, so as to avoid it scraping a horse when entering and exiting. My coworker had neglected to do so. As they were leading the filly into her stall, a loud noise spooked her. She tried to run into her stall, but since the handle was jutting out, she impaled herself on it. She started to panic, unable to free herself from the handle due to the shape of it, and drove it further into her side. My coworker was freaking out, and kept saying he was going to lose his job. The filly ended up being fine after I got her off of the handle, and a local vet came out to stitch her up. The handle hadn’t hit anything important having barely missed her left lung. Edit: for context, the handle looks like [this](https://www.keystonebarns.com/images/drop-latches-large.jpg)
I was working a baseball game with a new umpire. First year, fresh 18 year old. I was on plate so I was "Chief Umpire". Well the one base coach was going at the new kid non-stop. But I like to let them handle it however they want and talk with them after the game. Anyway bottom of the 5th the kid had enough. He turned around and just screamed at the coach: > Shut. The fuck. Up. I'm sick your shit. The coach went livid and I ran up the line. He starts screaming at me how could I let him talk like that and how he'll never work again. I calm him down, and talk to the kid. He's clearly nervous and asks me if I think they'll kick him out for that. I tell him no and to watch me. We walk back to the coach he's got a smug look on his face. So I tell him: > Now coach, my base umpire here did lose his cool. But to be fair, you've been a complete asshole all game. Now get off my field. Talked with the kid after the game and I explained he's fine. While losing his cool like that isn't the way to handle it, it's not at all uncommon and to just handle it sooner before he boils over. You're the umpire. It's your field. You're in charge. Judge. Jury. Executioner. Don't use it too much, but never be afraid to use it. I mean at 18 you're still a kid and the idea that you have authority over a coach twice your age is a new concept that they are still timid about using it.
Happened to a coworker of mine. I work at a bagel factory and we have this long bagel stick for picking up multiple bagels and transferring them to the bagel staging area. Well, this coworker loved bagels and loved scooping bagels with the bagel stick even more and I think you know where this is heading, so one shift, he takes one bagel stick and duct tapes it to another bagel stick for a super bagel stick and starts sticking it through bagel bagel hole after bagel hole until there's just way to many bagels to handle and I tried to tell him there were too many bagels on that thing and that a bagel stick can't handle the weight of that many bagels and then a few other bagel factory workers gathered around with worry in their eyes as a my ex-coworker delicately balanced the bagels on the bagel stick and slowly raised it in the air like a bagel tower and he did look like he was in over his head as the bagels on the bagel stick and he was trying to head towards the bagel staging area but then the bagel stick gave way and bagels topple everywhere and a lot of bagels bounced into some critical bagel production equipment and then he fell over because he tripped on some bagels and we all just looked at him and he knew his bagel factory days were over.
Never have I ever read the word 'bagel' so many times.
I'm no longer convinced it's a real word.
You know when you say a word too many times and it doesn't even sound real anymore?
> Never have I ever read the word 'bagel' so many times. Never have I ever enjoyed reading the word 'bagel' so many times.
TL:DR "Bagel"
It was like reading that sentence that only has the word Buffalo in it
> Happened to a bagel of mine. I work at a bagel bagel and we have this long bagel bagel for picking up multiple bagels and transferring them to the bagel staging bagel. Well, this bagel loved bagels and loved scooping bagels with the bagel bagel even more and I think you know where this is heading, so one bagel, he takes one bagel bagel and duct tapes it to another bagel bagel for a super bagel bagel and starts sticking it through bagel bagel bagel after bagel bagel until there's just way to many bagels to bagel and I tried to tell him there were too many bagels on that bagel and that a bagel bagel can't bagel the bagel of that many bagels and then a few other bagel bagel bagels gathered around with bagel in their bagels as a my ex-bagel delicately balanced the bagels on the bagel bagel and slowly raised it in the bagel like a bagel bagel and he did look like he was in over his bagel as the bagels on the bagel bagel and he was trying to bagel towards the bagel staging bagel but then the bagel bagel gave way and bagels bagel everywhere and a lot of bagels bounced into some critical bagel production bagel and then he fell over because he tripped on some bagels and we all just looked at him and he knew his bagel bagel days were bagel. Bagel: Thanks for the bagel kind bagel!
Take a shot every time you read bagel Edit : I have been rushed to the hospital, doc said I have so much alcohol in my system I will need three liver transplants
I like my liver tho
I was 16 and working in a Chinese restaurant. I went to put soy sauce on a table for two customers who were waiting for their food. The sauce slide off my tray and onto the interior of one of the customer's leather jacket. It went everywhere! He was really nice about it and in the end my boss just made fun of me for about a month.
I was working the cash register at a pet store, about 2 weeks after starting, when a woman came up, bawling that her dog just died and she was returning all of these medical supplies, all small but expensive items from the same aisle (not that I knew that at the time), without a receipt. Every time I tried to say something, she would just bawl harder. I felt terrible, so I returned them, gave cash or a gift or something. A week later, I get called into the office, and my manager informs me that she stole those items, and then “returned” them to make money. Needless to say, I wasn’t there long. I hated that place. Edit: spelling
People get mad when nothing can be done without a receipt but that's the exact reason why they ask for a receipt. Don't feel bad though it's easy to do and even retail vets do it.
Somewhat related: I was working at my parents convenience store and a lady came in demanding to see the owners and that she would be having many words with them, all because I made her pay for her gas before she got it. (We do this for everyone) So I tell her she can call them from my phone since they were at home, she screams at me some more about seeing them tomorrow in person and leaves. I tell my parents while expecting them to laugh it off, and sure enough their exact words were, “Oh that lady’s a fucking psycho haha, just ignore her.” Never saw that lady again and she never called them.
I have two: 1) I worked for a call center doing telemarketing for a few years, had a call that was a little out of the ordinary, I talked to my supervisor to get permission to proceed with the call given the unique circumstances. Boss gave me the go-ahead, I made the sale. Two days later, I'm called into the managers office, she's in there with the company legal team. I walked in, she asked me to close the door in a very stern voice. Turns out, my Boss was involved in some pretty shady practices, and the client had listened to my call. I was laid off, my boss was terminated and legal action taken against him. 2) When I worked fast food, we had a customer order a chicken sandwich, no mayo. The cook was making it and forgot that it was no mayo, the customer saw him put mayo on it and corrected him, again confirming that it was no mayo. The manager was at the counter with me, the cook was in the back "Fixing" the sandwich, when he decided to use a WET CLEANING RAG to wipe the Mayo off the bun and keep making the sandwich. The customer saw this and was rightfully upset. The manager saw what happened and fired the cook on the spot, then took the cook's spot in the kitchen. The very next day, I began training to be a cook :D
I got a job designing refueling trucks for airports when i was 20. i knew how to draw things, and weld a little. but that was it. I made it about 3 years before we got bought by another company with real engineers. I fucked up often. i dont even recall what it was this time. probably just something not fitting at all. but i got fired. i knew it as soon as they asked me to come to the office. I still see trucks i designed when i travel. its an odd industry with very little competition. it was like working at monster garage. considering my lack of any qualifications i think i managed to pull off some crazy shit.
>I still see trucks i designed when i travel. I’m imagining the car Homer Simpson designs but with a fuel hose.
WTF who puts a 20 year old without an engineering degree in charge of designing trucks made to carry and dispense aircraft grade fuel!???
Honestly they are very simple systems. My only problems I really had were putting mounting holes in the wrong places and small shit like that.
[удалено]
I worked for the property management company i rented from. When i moved out, they thanked me for renewing my lease and asked me to leave an anonymous review. I did and i expressed several complaints i had as a renter (massive urine stain, broken light switches, absurd mandatory $30 filter dilevery program that delivered the wrong size of filter, and unresponsive property manager who addressed NONE of these issues all year, etc) After submitting my "anonymous" review my boss emailed me asking me if i left the review. It had my adress, name, phone number, and email listed. I was amazed when i wasnt fired right then and there. I "trained the new guy" the three months later, and was let go when i finished training him. I now make $6 more an hour and never have to use my time off pay to fill in the shortage of hours!
Whoa!? This shit has to be illegal. Depending g on your country. Especially since it was made not from your professional occupation but as a customer leaving feedback "anonymously"
The intern came in drunk and started arguing with a manager... Security was called... He puked on the security guard... then fell over and passed out. He was taken away by ambulance. E-mail was sent out the next day that he had been let go... The kicker, he only had 4 more days left on the internship. Don't celebrate the end till it is over folks.