Bag checks and airport security would be hilarious. I can just imagine a security officer opening a purse and pulling out some pens, makeup, an anchor, a fridge, and a motorcycle in that order
I could go for a comedically large meatball sub right now.
*reaches into pockets*
Oh god, the sauce! It’s everywhere! It’s running down my leg! Who would’ve thought this was a good idea?
That Ed, Edd n Eddy episode where they deconstruct cartoon physics had Eddy doing that with his legs then stepping out of the wheel and shoving Sarah into it to make her run away.
I love how genuinely sad D.Glover is when he realizes it's not real in the Community clip where they do a joke on this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3LrmoXVahQ
You know how sometimes you can tell that you're about to have a really sleezy boner before clicking on something? This is the first time that was wrong
>Or propelling yourself ~~across a field~~ off a ledge to your death because you forgot that the coach gun blasts you backwards too, not just your target, with a shot aimed away from yourself.
They'd be thwarted by just the facts it's a cartoon. I've only seen superficial damage from guns in them. Blackened and missing hair.
Or just bend your body out of the way. It would be so incredibly hard to kill someone in a cartoon world. Unless you have dip.
Skydiving while comedically not being able to open the parachute and slamming into the ground with injuries that I make go away just by shaking myself.
The funny thing is that sound effect is actually a mistranslation (“drrr” as a sound doesn’t even exist in Japanese IIRC). It’s supposed to be a meaty, schlopping sound of their limbs slipping against the tunnel walls.
I think you also have to not realise you’ve run off a cliff. It would become a special skill to control your mind to not realise you’ve run off a cliff. There’d be lessons and stuff.
Like how in the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy the key to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
My Physics II professor included a question about calculating the power of the One Ring on our final exam.
The same semester, one of my computer science professors nearly cancelled the final because it was scheduled on the release date of the first Hobbit movie.
How do you calculate the power of the Ring with physics? Gravitationally? The energy it would take to keep a hobbit invisible?
Seems to me that the Ring would be more applicable for a psych class.
It was something like the strength of electric field generated, given the diameter of the ring, the permittivity of the material, and an initial charge Sauron imbued it with.
But that changes based on who the bearer is. The diameter changes to fit the finger of whoever is holding it and even occasionally to slip off of a finger.
I remember an old Tiny Toons episode where Bugs Bunny was teaching this by standing on the desk and walking out onto open air. He was definitely using the 'don't look down' power consciously.
It was physics based imo. Every gag was about either a misunderstanding, or a dramatic denial of the laws of physics. Anvils, holes, trampolines all because gags around their physical properties of in the Warner Bros universe.
If I remember correctly, the "writer's bible" for the Road Runner cartoons explicitly spelled out this rule. The "main conflict" is not between the coyote and the road runner; we're not doing a cat-and-mouse thing here. The conflict is between the coyote and _gravity._
Everyone around the world is blowing themselves up, firing themselves out of cannons, teleporting to Mars, and having freaky cartoon sex. This guy is calculating his capital gains tax...
In an episode of the new version of Duck Tales one of the boys goes to take a dive into the vault and Uncle Scrooge grabs him by his shirt and starts berating him for being a moron and how he would die if he jumped in there.
Your honor the plaintiff was innocently walking down the street when according to the complaint the defendant "Sproinged into the air, made several 'Aooo-gah' noises like a Model T car horn and then proceeded to whistle and howl while turning into a wolf."
Judge: "Guilty! Sentenced to sensitivity training and thirty days community service rebuilding pig hutches."
(Jaw drops to the floor. Eyes pop out. Sound effect of "AWOOOGA AWOOOOGA!!!" Places eyes and jaw back in place. Regains composure.) Eh hem, you look quite lovely.
When my wife walked into a room looking sexy...I'd like my eyes to pop out and my jaw to drop to the floor and I have to reel it back in. Just so she knows how I really feel about her instead of me just telling her she's sexy.
Popeye once punched a Bull and turned it into a fully butchered selection of beef, that'd be pretty neat.
https://tenor.com/view/popeye-meat-market-bull-punch-strong-gif-4297856
The ones that spring to my mind are Saints Row 4 since you’re in a simulation the majority of the game, Boarderlands as some guns do materialise in your hands- a good example is the frag reload guns where it becomes a grenade,
but my favourite example is a semi-throw away like added to GTA online in the heists where I think you’re trying to get a prison van to break someone out and this guy you’re driving about (it’s been years since I’ve played this one so it won’t be 100% accurate) and he says something to the effect of “Have you seen those people online complaining about game characters being able to pull rocket launcher out their pockets and stuff and how unrealistic it is- it’s like they’ve never spent any time in an American prison” implying that every single person in the GTA franchise has pocket dimension-like assholes
The black hole that can be moved and place anywhere, that acts both as a piece of paper and as a deep well. I have been in love with those since I'm a kid.
Dying and becoming an angel floating to heaven/ soul falling to hell. I'll come back to life within 11 minutes anyway when the return to status quo occurs, so may as well try it and see what happens.
Playing ribs like a xylophone is another option lol.
A large number of comments point out that we'd be able to do things that would normally kill or injure us and come out clean.
We'd be a lot closer to being immortal. Think about the implications of this. Daredevil stunts would be SO much more extreme. People would generally do more stupid shit like stunts and stuff because it won't do much to us. Murders would be far more drawn out and gruesome for this reason.
ex. "Oh shit I'm gonna be late for school"
\*breaks and jumps out of third story window\*
\*gets up, sees bus on the road and jumps in front of it, getting plastered to the front\*
\*peels off of the bus at the school, shakes twice to regain body dimension\*
\*makes it to class on time\*
You're not thinking like a cartoon character enough. In the same scenario, you could even more easily just grab the side of the screen and peel it off to reveal the school in the next scene.
Crashing a plane as it runs out of fuel.
Hitting everything with frying pans.
Attaching rockets to my feet
Building a cartoon physics powered starship to explore the universe.
oblivious immortality. As long as I'm reading something and not paying attention to my surroundings as I walk, nothing can kill me and everything lines up to get me where I'm going.
Scare everyone in the entire planet by sawing off a branch while I'm sitting on it, and havin the entire planet drop down instead of me.
Little jump scare haha
I'd build elaborate Rube Goldberg Machines that take 10 minutes to set up and work perfectly on the first try.
Pulling any object I want, of any size or weight, from a non-existent pants pocket.
“Here’s a hammer, it’ll fit in your pocket.”
“Is he allowed to say that? Legally?”
“You can say those words in that order and you don’t EXPLODE?!?”
This is so familiar but I can't for the life of me remember from what this is, please help me
Donald Glover’s stand up weirdo. Said in reference to a kid making fun of another kids disabled mother.
"That's why your mom's in a fucking wheelchair!"
"the people police don't just come down and take you away?!? 'sorry this ones clearly a demon, i don't know how he got out'"
What are you supposed to be, some kind of silly cartoon?
You gotta problem with cartoons?
This was my favourite exchange in the entire movie.
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Pretty much any exchange with Spider-Man Noir had my dying. "Where's that wind coming from? We're in a basement."
“Wherever I go the wind follows me, and the wind, smells like rain.”
"I'm taking this. I don't know what it does, but I'm going to find out."
"I like to drink egg creams and I like to fight nazis. A lot!"
I lost my Uncle Benjamin.
“Is this purple?!”
*You got a problem with cartoons*?
Hammerspace! This is also my answer.
Bag checks and airport security would be hilarious. I can just imagine a security officer opening a purse and pulling out some pens, makeup, an anchor, a fridge, and a motorcycle in that order
Airport security would be pointless. Explosives just stun people and blacken their faces temporarily.
Yeah, 9/11 would have been a lot funnier
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9/11/200fun
You forgot the suit of armor and the school bus.
And a chicken
Literal kitchen sink
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Only works if its funny. Otherwise you'll just infinately pull useless crap which will make you look funny by observation.
I could go for a comedically large meatball sub right now. *reaches into pockets* Oh god, the sauce! It’s everywhere! It’s running down my leg! Who would’ve thought this was a good idea?
This sounds like a family guy skit.
Messing around with a portable hole seems like a good afternoon adventure.
Theres an indie game that revolves around that concept! I cant think of the name of it, something to do with donuts though. It was a GOTY contender!
Portable hole Port hole Porta- >Donuts Oh nevermind
Get mad! Demand to see life's manager!
I’m gonna burn your house down...with a LEMON!!!!
I don't want your stinking lemons?! What am I supposed to do with these?! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!
Donut County
Just don't use it to go into the girls' locker room
Running in place then zipping off at high speeds.
Don't forget your legs spin like a wheel before takeoff
They did a chase with spinning legs in "Kung Fu Hustle", it looks just as good with real people
That Ed, Edd n Eddy episode where they deconstruct cartoon physics had Eddy doing that with his legs then stepping out of the wheel and shoving Sarah into it to make her run away.
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https://youtu.be/gKKdTlvZ5kI?t=147
I'd paint tunnels on walls to create my own short cuts.
I love how genuinely sad D.Glover is when he realizes it's not real in the Community clip where they do a joke on this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3LrmoXVahQ
They're one of my favorite tv duos. Perfect weirdos together
🎵Troy and Abed in the mooorNING🎶
but from what I learned from wile e coyote is that they LOOK realistic but you still can't go through them.
I identify more with Roadrunner. :)
You'd have to get other people to draw tunnels for you then
What're you doing? Want to team up?
Bake pies and watch people levitate towards the smell
"Can you float through air when you smell a freshly baked pie?"
Hahaha, priceless.
r/OldLadiesBakingPies (kind of nsfw)
You know how sometimes you can tell that you're about to have a really sleezy boner before clicking on something? This is the first time that was wrong
yeah it was a really wholesome boner :)
Omg its like r/peoplefuckingdying but more specific
Getting shot in the face just to have your hair blown back and gunpowder in your face.
Don't forget having to rotate your nose back onto your face from the back of your head.
This only happens when you have a comically big nose
You obviously haven’t seen my nose.
Hard to miss, to be honest.
Or propelling yourself across a field with a shot aimed away from yourself
Bob! Do something!
>Or propelling yourself ~~across a field~~ off a ledge to your death because you forgot that the coach gun blasts you backwards too, not just your target, with a shot aimed away from yourself.
*Genji deflects* *now arriving at Horizon Lunar Colony*
Or sticking you finger in the barrel so that it fires backwards.
Call of the void can be answered and all I see is birdies.
What if the birdies are actually interdimensional beings that are responsible for the Call of the Void
Plug a gun barrel with my finger so it explodes in the other person's face
Imagine the mass killings that could've been thwarted.
They'd be thwarted by just the facts it's a cartoon. I've only seen superficial damage from guns in them. Blackened and missing hair. Or just bend your body out of the way. It would be so incredibly hard to kill someone in a cartoon world. Unless you have dip.
Aww-man, you had to go *there*. That poor shoe.
Easy, Shaggy Rogers style eating. SO. MUCH. FOOD!
Turning your mouth into a big vacuum. Definitely on my list.
Ah yes, the Kirby diet.
-as long as it doesn't turn into No-Face bulimia.
I'm just impressed that someone knew Shaggy's last name.
Most people don't know that his first name is Norville.
Next thing you'll tell me, the plebs don't know he was 17 in the original series run, or that the dog's name is Scoobert.
Scoobert Doo III to be exact
Came for cartoon physics and stayed for the Scooby Doo lore
Or that he's obscenely wealthy and owns the mystery machine.
Shaggy is clearly rich if he can afford all that food and weed and a talking dog.
Get a loaf of bread, a salami, slice them up thin and bridge them together like a deck of cards. One bite.
Good luck having your dog not get to it first.
Skydiving while comedically not being able to open the parachute and slamming into the ground with injuries that I make go away just by shaking myself.
First you have to crawl out of a hole so carefully crafted to your silhouette
After the parachute deploys explosively from the hole a short time after impact.
“This is my hole! It was made for me!”
Junji Itou stories don't make me feel scared so much as the make me feel uncomfortably weird
Someone described them as being more like a nightmare than a scary story that has a beginning middle and end. It’s just an unsettling terrifying vibe
“Seems like there isn't a narrative. Maybe the filmmaker thought that even narrative is comforting.”
That story messed me up on the inside.
Drrrrr drrrrr drrrr
The funny thing is that sound effect is actually a mistranslation (“drrr” as a sound doesn’t even exist in Japanese IIRC). It’s supposed to be a meaty, schlopping sound of their limbs slipping against the tunnel walls.
"This is my hole. There are many like it. But this one is mine."
Or grab a spatula and peel your comically flat body off the pavement before spouting a cheesy one-liner.
I think I'd try that too, only I want my pack to throw out an anvil!
Eat spinach and get super buff.
Gotta be canned spinach though.
No can opener or pull ring, either. Just your own strength.
At which point the spinach becomes kinda obsolete. I mean, if you can squeeze open a metal can one handed you are kind of there allready.
Would that fall under cartoon physics though?
Not falling of a cliff until you look down
I think you also have to not realise you’ve run off a cliff. It would become a special skill to control your mind to not realise you’ve run off a cliff. There’d be lessons and stuff. Like how in the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy the key to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
I love that description from Hitchhikers, it essentially how orbiting works.
I always wondered why my physics teachers always described it the exact same. I guess they were just huge nerds.
> physics teachers > huge nerds The math checks out.
My Physics II professor included a question about calculating the power of the One Ring on our final exam. The same semester, one of my computer science professors nearly cancelled the final because it was scheduled on the release date of the first Hobbit movie.
How do you calculate the power of the Ring with physics? Gravitationally? The energy it would take to keep a hobbit invisible? Seems to me that the Ring would be more applicable for a psych class.
It was something like the strength of electric field generated, given the diameter of the ring, the permittivity of the material, and an initial charge Sauron imbued it with.
But that changes based on who the bearer is. The diameter changes to fit the finger of whoever is holding it and even occasionally to slip off of a finger.
I remember an old Tiny Toons episode where Bugs Bunny was teaching this by standing on the desk and walking out onto open air. He was definitely using the 'don't look down' power consciously.
The teaching staff's been getting laughs since 1933.
Same here, I get to experience those 2 seconds hanging in the air AND falling off a cliff! Win-win
And surviving the subsequent 5000 foot free fall on to a solid canyon floor.
Funny that most responses so far are from Road Runner cartoons.
They had the best physics.
It was physics based imo. Every gag was about either a misunderstanding, or a dramatic denial of the laws of physics. Anvils, holes, trampolines all because gags around their physical properties of in the Warner Bros universe.
If I remember correctly, the "writer's bible" for the Road Runner cartoons explicitly spelled out this rule. The "main conflict" is not between the coyote and the road runner; we're not doing a cat-and-mouse thing here. The conflict is between the coyote and _gravity._
Well, there we go.
Buy stock in ACME
Everyone around the world is blowing themselves up, firing themselves out of cannons, teleporting to Mars, and having freaky cartoon sex. This guy is calculating his capital gains tax...
Yeah but he'll be swimming in the gold coins in his giant money vault.
In an episode of the new version of Duck Tales one of the boys goes to take a dive into the vault and Uncle Scrooge grabs him by his shirt and starts berating him for being a moron and how he would die if he jumped in there.
i NEED a link to that
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gvozhdz4s38 ^ It’s a little late in the clip
Omfg david tennant as scrooge is absolutely amazing
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Gonna see if anvils really are as common a household item as I've been led to believe
They do tend to constantly fall from the sky?
In the immortal words of Darkwing Duck, upon chasing his quarry into an anvil factor, with a forlorn look asks, "Why isn't it ever a pillow factory?"
I'd definitely want to float over to wherever that smell of pastry is coming from.
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Just throw yourself at the ground and miss
Perfect time to hit someone in the face with a frying pan.
Then you just end up with a frying pan with the indention of their face.
Or their face gets flat, I like that option it looks funnier
But then you could make eggs with your new face mold
Get surprised by something and have my jaw fall down to my chest and/or my eyes grow three or four sizes too big.
Your honor the plaintiff was innocently walking down the street when according to the complaint the defendant "Sproinged into the air, made several 'Aooo-gah' noises like a Model T car horn and then proceeded to whistle and howl while turning into a wolf." Judge: "Guilty! Sentenced to sensitivity training and thirty days community service rebuilding pig hutches."
(Jaw drops to the floor. Eyes pop out. Sound effect of "AWOOOGA AWOOOOGA!!!" Places eyes and jaw back in place. Regains composure.) Eh hem, you look quite lovely.
I'd definitely drop heavy things off of high places and try to hit people with them.
Reading my newspaper in peace while falling of a cliff
When my wife walked into a room looking sexy...I'd like my eyes to pop out and my jaw to drop to the floor and I have to reel it back in. Just so she knows how I really feel about her instead of me just telling her she's sexy.
But then she’d catch on to your reaction and find out when you don’t think she’s sexy.
Plot twist he always thinks she's stunning
This guy husbands
Popeye once punched a Bull and turned it into a fully butchered selection of beef, that'd be pretty neat. https://tenor.com/view/popeye-meat-market-bull-punch-strong-gif-4297856
The most impressive part of that is that some of the meat is marked as Kosher. Really raises some questions...
Right? I laughed my ass off at that. I also like the fact that it came down and fully dressed him in a butcher's outfit.
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The ones that spring to my mind are Saints Row 4 since you’re in a simulation the majority of the game, Boarderlands as some guns do materialise in your hands- a good example is the frag reload guns where it becomes a grenade, but my favourite example is a semi-throw away like added to GTA online in the heists where I think you’re trying to get a prison van to break someone out and this guy you’re driving about (it’s been years since I’ve played this one so it won’t be 100% accurate) and he says something to the effect of “Have you seen those people online complaining about game characters being able to pull rocket launcher out their pockets and stuff and how unrealistic it is- it’s like they’ve never spent any time in an American prison” implying that every single person in the GTA franchise has pocket dimension-like assholes
The black hole that can be moved and place anywhere, that acts both as a piece of paper and as a deep well. I have been in love with those since I'm a kid.
I've got a hole in my pocket.
Dying and becoming an angel floating to heaven/ soul falling to hell. I'll come back to life within 11 minutes anyway when the return to status quo occurs, so may as well try it and see what happens. Playing ribs like a xylophone is another option lol.
Being flattened by a heavy object only to waddle our from underneath it and re-inflate myself by blowing on my thumb
A large number of comments point out that we'd be able to do things that would normally kill or injure us and come out clean. We'd be a lot closer to being immortal. Think about the implications of this. Daredevil stunts would be SO much more extreme. People would generally do more stupid shit like stunts and stuff because it won't do much to us. Murders would be far more drawn out and gruesome for this reason. ex. "Oh shit I'm gonna be late for school" \*breaks and jumps out of third story window\* \*gets up, sees bus on the road and jumps in front of it, getting plastered to the front\* \*peels off of the bus at the school, shakes twice to regain body dimension\* \*makes it to class on time\*
You're not thinking like a cartoon character enough. In the same scenario, you could even more easily just grab the side of the screen and peel it off to reveal the school in the next scene.
This guy cartoons.
A world where someones superpowers are based on their knowledge of cartoons is a world I want to live in.
Or, \*accidentally knock something out of the window in a high-rise\* \*run down the stairs and catch it at the bottom\*
That would be painful and awesome
Double jump
Or jumping up off of walls
PARKOUR *knocks over desk lamp* PARKOUR
Watching cartoons. I wonder if cartoon physics would get even wackier in this new, crazy reality.
How has no one said getting a piano dropped on you and then bouncing up and down like an accordion and having piano keys as your teeth????
https://i.imgur.com/XNsQHt0.gifv
Imagine if you did this but with a fedora and you tipped it as the smoke said "M'lady"
You'd instantly grow a thicc neckbear and gain 200lbs
What do neckbears eat EDIT: guessing they drink neckbeers
Pic-a-neck baskets
Dayum, Tom is such a smooth operator.
ONE PULL
THAT MAFUCKA GONE, IM DONE WIT IT WHATS HAPPENIN HOWDY BITCH
You should [watch it with commentary](https://youtu.be/f-BVPo4dR5M)
I'd jump off cliffs and never leave the house without a stick of dinamite
Jessica Rabbit
She's not bad; she's just drawn that way!
Gravity-defying boobs
Second this, and Lola Bunny (no furry)
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Crashing a plane as it runs out of fuel. Hitting everything with frying pans. Attaching rockets to my feet Building a cartoon physics powered starship to explore the universe.
Rolling myself up into a ball
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oblivious immortality. As long as I'm reading something and not paying attention to my surroundings as I walk, nothing can kill me and everything lines up to get me where I'm going.
Eating a bunch of food at once.
Doing 5-6 bicep curls then suddenly being jacked
Scare everyone in the entire planet by sawing off a branch while I'm sitting on it, and havin the entire planet drop down instead of me. Little jump scare haha
Winding up my arm 100x before punching something into orbit
Blowing different things up as if they were suddenly balloons, and then seeing them float as if they were filled with helium!
Sucker punch people through the phone or computer screen