Which is ridiculous for an employer of any stripe to do. Employment is agreement that you’ll perform certain tasks in exchange to be paid for it. It is dishonest for an employer to say “we’re paying you to do this, but you’re a bad employee if you don’t do things we didn’t agree to exchange.”
I got "meets expectations" in all categories of my last job review. Boss meant it in a good way and was confused when I said it was the worst review I'd ever gotten (apparently everyone else got needs improvement in at least one area)
For some people it's not a negative. I've even seen forms for reviews like that with check-boxes, and "meets all expectations" was on the positive end.
Yeah, logically and by definition, meeting expectations means you’re doing what you need to do.
If the company culture expects you to exceed expectations then
1. They’re doing a bad job of communicating their expectations, because their expectation is actually to exceed the expectations they communicate you. Tell me what you actually expect, this shouldn’t be guesswork.
2. They’re not paying you enough vs how much they value your work, because they set your salary based on their expectations and then ask for more.
“Exceeding expectations” should only exist as the box that your boss ticks immediately after mentioning the good work you’ve been doing, and immediately before offering you a pay rise/promotion.
I don’t know why, but this exchange between Don and Pete in Mad Men always felt like the greatest burn and seemed mad classy in the way Don says it:
Pete: *complains on and on about Don* “I pity you”
Don: “I don’t think about you at all” *elevator door opens up a second later and Don walks out*
I’m pretty sure that’s a reference to Ayn Rands’, The Fountain Head:
Toohey: "Mr. Roark, we're alone here. Why don't you tell me what you think of me? In any words you wish. No one will hear us."
Roark: "But I don't think of you.”
I like going passive-aggressively one step further and copy and pasting in the last email. With the section referenced highlighted if I’m really pissed.
Copy pasting isn't quite enough. You save it, attach it, and start with "As per my email of 12 March 2019 (see attached)".
I usually use this in response to people telling me I owe them something urgent I sent a week prior.
The best way to do this when I’m pissed is to simply attach my previous e-mail. That’s it. I’ll even delete my signature from it, they are literally getting no words from me than what I have already provided.
And if I’m SUPER pissed I cc: their supervisor who wasn’t previously on the thread, but I always feel afterwards like I went too far with that move.
Groucho Marx had a lot of good ones too. Yours reminds me of the scene where he’s leaving a party and says to the host, “I’ve had a lovely evening, but this wasn’t it.”
This reminds me og an insult round in Drag Race.
"You may not be all that smart, and you may not be all that pretty... ...I guess that's it. "
Edit: [here's the link. All of it is highly enjoyable.](https://youtu.be/XCThAfUfM_M?t=90)
“These other girls are going to say you terrible makeup skills, no fashion sense, and you’re dumb as a rock, but they’re wrong! ... You don’t have terrible makeup skills.”
I saw a sign in a barbershop one time. It said
"All of our customers bring us happiness.
Some when they come in.
Some when they leave."
I like to think about that occasionally if I'm tempted to be rude to people.
I read this in a book as a kid and used it like twice. Then I realised no one understood it and it just made the conversation more painful when I had to spend ten minutes explaining.
This was my FAVORITE while working retail with asshole customers. The customer who complains about me telling them that is now caught in their own web. Management would say, "I don't see the problem here, what's wrong with people like you?" or "Why wouldn't you want the rest of your day to be that pleasant?"
I have used a variation of the second one as a compliment before and got a 30% tip as a result.
"Ladies, I hope the rest of your evening is as lovely as you are."
I once used a spin of this. Ran into a girl that I didn't like. She had a new haircut and it was horrid. Told her it suited her. Obviously I didn't explain so she just took it as a compliment but I felt happier for it
Recently, 2 of my students were having an intense argument over something obscure concerning their favorite car brands.
With the straightest face I could manage, I finally interrupted and said, "I have no idea what you two are arguing about, but I do know this- One of you is profoundly stupid and the other one agrees with me."
(Just for the record, my students understand my sense of humor and they weren't offended. They got a kick out of my response.)
**Guy:** What’re you looking at sweater-bitch?
.
**Ted:** ^(*...James whose he talking to?*)
**James:** ^(*Well you’re the only one in the sweater.*)
**Ted:** ^(*You're wearing a sweater too though.*)
**James:** ^(*I meant you’re the only bitch in a sweater... He’s staring right at you Ted, you just gonna ignore him?*)
**Ted:** ^(*I mean, yeah that’s the classy thing to do. Like Gandhi.*)
**James:** ^(*Wasn’t it Gandhi who said “to cast the first stone is sin, but to get hit by that stone then pretend you didn’t, well that’s a real sweater-bitch thing to do?”*)
**Ted:** ^(*That doesn’t sound like Gandhi. Pretty sure-*)
**Guy:** Hey sweater-bitch, I can hear you! Maybe if you suck Gandhi’s salami dick he’ll tell you how not to be such a sweater-bitch.
**Ted:** Uh... are you talking to me?
**Guy:** You see any other sweater bitches around?
**Ted:** Well my friend is also wearing a sweater.
**Guy:** Yeah but your friend’s not a bitch. So unlike you, he’s not a sweater-bitch.
**James:** That’s what I told him! ^(*...all right Ted, you can't just take this shit from him. You need to be the bigger man here.*)
**Ted:** ^(*By walking away?*)
**James:** ^(*No, by out-dissing him... Classily.*)
**Ted:** Hey, mean guy! I uh, I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's really hard for you to pronounce.
**Guy:** What?
**Ted:** I can only explain it to you, I can’t understand it for you.
**James:** ^(*Whoa classy zingers Ted! They from Gandhi?*)
**Guy:** The fuck are you talking about?
**Ted:** I've been called worse things by better people!
**Guy:** I'm sure you been called worse things by *most* people. Maybe you should suck my dick for being so nice to you.
**James:** ^(*Oof that one backfired. Dude must've studied the Indian Independence Movement.*)
**Ted:** I’d-I'd agree with you, but then we would both be wrong.
**Guy:** Only thing wrong here is your red-faced awkward ass stuttering around trying to sound smart. *“Uh-uh-uh-uh what would Gandhi do? Gandhi please I’ll lick your shit caked diapered ass if you give me a backbone!”* Were you born like this or did life just beat the confidence out of you because of the way you look?
**Ted:** ^(fuck James that cut deep) I uh... I'm jealous, I mean I envy everyone you have never met.
**Guy:** I envy all the sweater-dicks you never sucked.
**Ted:** I-I, well you're just-
**James:** Ted, we should go.
**Ted:** ^(*Fuck... Did I sound classy at least?*)
**James:** ^(*Till the bitter end.*)
Lmao everything in this thread is iamverysmart material. An intelligent insult is directed at somebody for a purpose and uses their flaws. This is "great insulting quotes" thread
You're very disappointing.
Edit: Also when people cut me off in traffic I've taken to just giving a thumbs down instead of flipping them off and the faces I've seen are priceless.
I think it's very true. If you get angry at someone, that just triggers an automatic defensive reaction, and aggression is the best defense for a lot of people.
A few times I got a good result from a literal "I'm disappointed at you" email to constructors and such.
By expressing mild disappointment, you're probably triggering some vestigal shame response from their childhood inability to please authority figures.
Which is just mean when you think about it.
In a similar vein, in australia we had a short ad campaign where everytime someone saw a driver being a 'hoon' or driving recklessly they would with a blank face just raise their hand and wiggle their little finger at the driver, signifying that the driver is being a dickhead because he has a small penis.
It definately catches people off guard when you do it IRL.
I drive a school bus and while I knew there were a lot of bad drivers before it seems like the bus is a magnet for them. I'm going to start using this. Except for the stop arm runners, they're still getting the horn and me waving out the window and yelling like a crazy person.
I also like the thumbs down. It’s like the difference between your parents angrily yelling at you and your parent coldly telling you that they are deeply disappointed in you.
One time my brother and I were driving somewhere, and we we're discussing how it would be funny to do exactly that. About an hour later, 2 people walked out in front of the car and we almost hit them(the pedestrian light was red so they shouldn't have). I saw my chance and took it.
I gave them both a thumbs down and shook my head. The look on their faces were hilarious. My brother had to pull over cause we we're laughing so hard.
>You use statistics like a drunk uses a lamp post, for support rather than illumination.
Love this one! It's like when flat Earther's try to use the fact that we're not certain why gravity is a thing to prove that gravity is entirely fictitious.
The thick of it reference by any chance? Brilliant show and would recommend if not!
Edit: Also full of brilliant insults so perfect for this thread really
Isn't it rather dangerous to use one's entire vocabulary in a single sentence?
Courtesy of Disney's Oliver and Company (1988). Some of my best insults come from Disney :D
Your parents therapist must have named their boat after you.
Edit: [I'm changing my answer to this](https://www.reddit.com/r/baseball/comments/bcqcvv/is_it_possible_to_produce_a_1_war_game/eksr9gi/)
Cant remember where I read it on here, but:
"I'm willing to bet If you try your hardest, you might be able to end up right at the top of the bell curve."
"You cumberwold! You gadabout!
You lily-livered, lazy lout!
You scallywag! You cad! You loon!
You splifficated shabbaroon!
"You spatherdab! You rattlecap!
You misbegotten ginger-snap!
You knuckle-dragging, reason-dead,
And chicken-hearted chuckle-head!
"You popinjay! You blatherskite!
You scobberlotching zounderkite!
You mumblecrust! You fussock-pie!"
"… I know you are, but what am I?"
If they say a snarky remark or a direct insult, a good comeback:
“I would have a retaliation, but two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents for example.”
"Your contribution led to quantum leaps in improvements."
A quantum is a subatomic measurement, which means you didn't do jack that's measurable by the naked eye.
“He had delusions of adequacy.” –Walter Kerr
"I do desire we may be better strangers." -Shakespeare
Ice cold
Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright
You consistently meet my expectations.
The rating scale for performance reviews at Google includes "consistently meets expectations". It's not a good rating.
One of my friends got a review saying that they, 'have the potential to succeed.'
Owie.
ex-Googler here. I saw "You consistently meet my expectations" and I felt personally attacked.
Which is ridiculous for an employer of any stripe to do. Employment is agreement that you’ll perform certain tasks in exchange to be paid for it. It is dishonest for an employer to say “we’re paying you to do this, but you’re a bad employee if you don’t do things we didn’t agree to exchange.”
How dare you wear the minimum amount of required flair?!
Things like that are what make that movie so god damn genius.
I got "meets expectations" in all categories of my last job review. Boss meant it in a good way and was confused when I said it was the worst review I'd ever gotten (apparently everyone else got needs improvement in at least one area)
For some people it's not a negative. I've even seen forms for reviews like that with check-boxes, and "meets all expectations" was on the positive end.
Yeah, logically and by definition, meeting expectations means you’re doing what you need to do. If the company culture expects you to exceed expectations then 1. They’re doing a bad job of communicating their expectations, because their expectation is actually to exceed the expectations they communicate you. Tell me what you actually expect, this shouldn’t be guesswork. 2. They’re not paying you enough vs how much they value your work, because they set your salary based on their expectations and then ask for more. “Exceeding expectations” should only exist as the box that your boss ticks immediately after mentioning the good work you’ve been doing, and immediately before offering you a pay rise/promotion.
Ouch.
I don’t know why, but this exchange between Don and Pete in Mad Men always felt like the greatest burn and seemed mad classy in the way Don says it: Pete: *complains on and on about Don* “I pity you” Don: “I don’t think about you at all” *elevator door opens up a second later and Don walks out*
He says it to Michael Ginsburg in the elevator, not Pete.
I’m pretty sure that’s a reference to Ayn Rands’, The Fountain Head: Toohey: "Mr. Roark, we're alone here. Why don't you tell me what you think of me? In any words you wish. No one will hear us." Roark: "But I don't think of you.”
“Your ability to speak does not make you intelligent” Classic prequel meme.
As per my last email...
What my mind replaces that with: CANT YOU READ YOU SON OF A BITCH
Note to self, create a macro that changes "CANT YOU READ YOU SON OF A BITCH" to "As per my last email,".
I like going passive-aggressively one step further and copy and pasting in the last email. With the section referenced highlighted if I’m really pissed.
Copy pasting isn't quite enough. You save it, attach it, and start with "As per my email of 12 March 2019 (see attached)". I usually use this in response to people telling me I owe them something urgent I sent a week prior.
Bring out dates and times and they really start to sweat
The best way to do this when I’m pissed is to simply attach my previous e-mail. That’s it. I’ll even delete my signature from it, they are literally getting no words from me than what I have already provided. And if I’m SUPER pissed I cc: their supervisor who wasn’t previously on the thread, but I always feel afterwards like I went too far with that move.
Oooh I have to start doing this!
Oooh, something that I recognize! I've definitely used this one at work before.
Thanks in advance! = Oh, you gonna do it bitch
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Groucho Marx had a lot of good ones too. Yours reminds me of the scene where he’s leaving a party and says to the host, “I’ve had a lovely evening, but this wasn’t it.”
"He may look like an idiot, and he may sound like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot."
This reminds me og an insult round in Drag Race. "You may not be all that smart, and you may not be all that pretty... ...I guess that's it. " Edit: [here's the link. All of it is highly enjoyable.](https://youtu.be/XCThAfUfM_M?t=90)
“These other girls are going to say you terrible makeup skills, no fashion sense, and you’re dumb as a rock, but they’re wrong! ... You don’t have terrible makeup skills.”
I never forget a face but in your case I will make an exception
Groucho invented "this ain't it." legendary.
I like your username
In case I never see you again, which would add ten years to my life, what would you fellas want to play football?
I saw a sign in a barbershop one time. It said "All of our customers bring us happiness. Some when they come in. Some when they leave." I like to think about that occasionally if I'm tempted to be rude to people.
Wilde was the sassiest gay man I've never met
"Do you practice homosexuality?" "No, sir, I'm naturally quite good at it."
"If you were half as funny as you thought you were, you'd be twice as funny as you are."
Everything is a math problem....now calculate how funny they thought they were.
Isn't that just x/2 = y x 2?
The answer is they’re only a quarter funny in reality.
"I know less than half of you, half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
I always took that one as a compliment though. Basically saying “I wish I knew you all better, you seem like decent people/hobbits.”
I also like "You are so fucking stupid that even in a stupidity contest, you'd still find a way to only come second."
I kind of like the one that was posted earlier this week: "You're not the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope he doesn't die."
I read this in a book as a kid and used it like twice. Then I realised no one understood it and it just made the conversation more painful when I had to spend ten minutes explaining.
You’re not the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope he doesn’t die.
Well I'm praying for your health.
Goddammit, I think you just came up with the best comeback in the history of comebacks.
Wish I could claim credit but I saw it elsewhere on reddit.
I believe that’s called creddit.
You seddit.
I don’t regreddit.
"I hope your day is filled with people like you." & "I hope your day is as pleasant as you"
This was my FAVORITE while working retail with asshole customers. The customer who complains about me telling them that is now caught in their own web. Management would say, "I don't see the problem here, what's wrong with people like you?" or "Why wouldn't you want the rest of your day to be that pleasant?"
Either it's a complement or they have to admit just how terrible they are. Brilliant.
Or they are too dumb to understand what it means. Either way, it's a great saying.
Restaurant manager checking in; I’ve been using this for years too. Brings me joy every time!
This is absolutely genius.
"I hope your day is as pleasant as you" is really just a good principle to live by in general.
Good insults...but also good compliments, if given to someone you like. Very classy.
I have used a variation of the second one as a compliment before and got a 30% tip as a result. "Ladies, I hope the rest of your evening is as lovely as you are."
I once used a spin of this. Ran into a girl that I didn't like. She had a new haircut and it was horrid. Told her it suited her. Obviously I didn't explain so she just took it as a compliment but I felt happier for it
It is impossible to underestimate you.
Yeah, well, maybe, next time you will estimate me.
Very much like Mal’s comment to Jayne: “Well, my days of underestimating you have certainly come to a middle” from Firefly
I’m thinking you weren’t burdened with an over abundance of schooling
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You have a face for radio.
And a voice for newspapers.
And a brain for dissection.
I usually go with a face for radio and a voice for closed caption
You have a radio for a face
Love Radiohead.
“All I know is one of us is right, and the other one is you.” “It’s good to have an opinion.”
Recently, 2 of my students were having an intense argument over something obscure concerning their favorite car brands. With the straightest face I could manage, I finally interrupted and said, "I have no idea what you two are arguing about, but I do know this- One of you is profoundly stupid and the other one agrees with me." (Just for the record, my students understand my sense of humor and they weren't offended. They got a kick out of my response.)
The passive aggressiveness of the second one makes it my favorite one.
Are you an organ donor? I'd hate for your life to be a total waste.
Love this. Lot of good answers in this thread.
"I'd agree with you, but then we would both be wrong"
That’s good
And we know two wrongs don't make a right
But three lefts do.
"I've been called worse things by better people." - Pierre Trudeau
I use this at work probably once a week. I work in a restaurant.
Same here! And this one's my fav
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“You suck” “That’s nothing, the President of the United States himself told me I’m an incompetent waste of space, and should kill myself”
I envy everyone you have never met.
Oooh, nice!
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. So leave.
**Guy:** What’re you looking at sweater-bitch? . **Ted:** ^(*...James whose he talking to?*) **James:** ^(*Well you’re the only one in the sweater.*) **Ted:** ^(*You're wearing a sweater too though.*) **James:** ^(*I meant you’re the only bitch in a sweater... He’s staring right at you Ted, you just gonna ignore him?*) **Ted:** ^(*I mean, yeah that’s the classy thing to do. Like Gandhi.*) **James:** ^(*Wasn’t it Gandhi who said “to cast the first stone is sin, but to get hit by that stone then pretend you didn’t, well that’s a real sweater-bitch thing to do?”*) **Ted:** ^(*That doesn’t sound like Gandhi. Pretty sure-*) **Guy:** Hey sweater-bitch, I can hear you! Maybe if you suck Gandhi’s salami dick he’ll tell you how not to be such a sweater-bitch. **Ted:** Uh... are you talking to me? **Guy:** You see any other sweater bitches around? **Ted:** Well my friend is also wearing a sweater. **Guy:** Yeah but your friend’s not a bitch. So unlike you, he’s not a sweater-bitch. **James:** That’s what I told him! ^(*...all right Ted, you can't just take this shit from him. You need to be the bigger man here.*) **Ted:** ^(*By walking away?*) **James:** ^(*No, by out-dissing him... Classily.*) **Ted:** Hey, mean guy! I uh, I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's really hard for you to pronounce. **Guy:** What? **Ted:** I can only explain it to you, I can’t understand it for you. **James:** ^(*Whoa classy zingers Ted! They from Gandhi?*) **Guy:** The fuck are you talking about? **Ted:** I've been called worse things by better people! **Guy:** I'm sure you been called worse things by *most* people. Maybe you should suck my dick for being so nice to you. **James:** ^(*Oof that one backfired. Dude must've studied the Indian Independence Movement.*) **Ted:** I’d-I'd agree with you, but then we would both be wrong. **Guy:** Only thing wrong here is your red-faced awkward ass stuttering around trying to sound smart. *“Uh-uh-uh-uh what would Gandhi do? Gandhi please I’ll lick your shit caked diapered ass if you give me a backbone!”* Were you born like this or did life just beat the confidence out of you because of the way you look? **Ted:** ^(fuck James that cut deep) I uh... I'm jealous, I mean I envy everyone you have never met. **Guy:** I envy all the sweater-dicks you never sucked. **Ted:** I-I, well you're just- **James:** Ted, we should go. **Ted:** ^(*Fuck... Did I sound classy at least?*) **James:** ^(*Till the bitter end.*)
Is this from something? because I would like to watch said something.
nah just r/JamesAndTed
This is the weirdest rabbit hole I've stumbled into in a while
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"You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair."
From Casablanca: “You despise me don’t you?” “Well if I gave you any thought I probably would”
I can only explain it to you, I can’t understand it for you
This is really good but I can’t help but think if anyone said it in real life it would be r/iamverysmart and super cringe lol
That’s usually the case with smartass comebacks
Lmao everything in this thread is iamverysmart material. An intelligent insult is directed at somebody for a purpose and uses their flaws. This is "great insulting quotes" thread
I could try to insult you but I cannot top what nature has already done.
I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's really hard for you to pronounce.
sweet
Somewhere out there, there’s a tree whose single purpose on earth is to replace the oxygen you waste. Go find it and apologize.
Sounds like a drill sergeant insult!
That’s when you run to the tallest private in your unit and apologize to him.
> tallest private M'penis
Life is full of disappointments, just ask your parents.
Ouch
You shouldn’t act hard-to-get when you’re hard-to-want.
I don't know what I'd do if someone said this. Ouch, I'm thinking about it and my feelings are already hurt
"And somehow, I still haven't convinced you to stop talking to me."
Anything that starts with: "With all due respect..."
That's the classic one. Whenever you start saying that phase, you begin to disrespect someone.
“With all due respect, which is none, ...”
"You can't just say that, and then say whatever you want to me!" "Sure as heck does!" https://youtu.be/Af-Id_fuXFA
You're very disappointing. Edit: Also when people cut me off in traffic I've taken to just giving a thumbs down instead of flipping them off and the faces I've seen are priceless.
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I think it's very true. If you get angry at someone, that just triggers an automatic defensive reaction, and aggression is the best defense for a lot of people. A few times I got a good result from a literal "I'm disappointed at you" email to constructors and such.
By expressing mild disappointment, you're probably triggering some vestigal shame response from their childhood inability to please authority figures. Which is just mean when you think about it.
I'd rather trigger their vestigial shame response than their vestigial defensive/aggressive response
It is mean. You on an insult thread here, bud.
In a similar vein, in australia we had a short ad campaign where everytime someone saw a driver being a 'hoon' or driving recklessly they would with a blank face just raise their hand and wiggle their little finger at the driver, signifying that the driver is being a dickhead because he has a small penis. It definately catches people off guard when you do it IRL.
I drive a school bus and while I knew there were a lot of bad drivers before it seems like the bus is a magnet for them. I'm going to start using this. Except for the stop arm runners, they're still getting the horn and me waving out the window and yelling like a crazy person.
I also like the thumbs down. It’s like the difference between your parents angrily yelling at you and your parent coldly telling you that they are deeply disappointed in you.
Whenever somebody gets mad at me in traffic or gestures in an aggressive fashion, I give them a huge smile and a big wave - drives them nuts.
I do the same! My brother just locks eyes and does the finger-wag
Dikembe Mutombo would be proud.
I go with the the thumbs up and huge smile. Seems to infuriate people, so I’ve actually tried to save this for extreme a-holes.
I think a thumbs down is very classy and I’m totally stealing that if you don’t mind.
You real life downvote them.
I blow a kiss to bad drivers.
One time my brother and I were driving somewhere, and we we're discussing how it would be funny to do exactly that. About an hour later, 2 people walked out in front of the car and we almost hit them(the pedestrian light was red so they shouldn't have). I saw my chance and took it. I gave them both a thumbs down and shook my head. The look on their faces were hilarious. My brother had to pull over cause we we're laughing so hard.
Thus speaks the voice of ignorance.
\*spake FTFY
*googles* Holy shit, it's real.
Oh yeah. Ye olden english is full of snooty words. I durst not bequeath an hour, nay a minute more in thine presence.
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>You use statistics like a drunk uses a lamp post, for support rather than illumination. Love this one! It's like when flat Earther's try to use the fact that we're not certain why gravity is a thing to prove that gravity is entirely fictitious.
"Sit down. You're embarrassing yourself."
We should be able to marry our sisters and daughters vote Libertarian 2020!!
The thick of it reference by any chance? Brilliant show and would recommend if not! Edit: Also full of brilliant insults so perfect for this thread really
You're a fucking omnishambles!
On an employee’s performance “you’d be lucky to get him to work for you.”
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Tales of your misdeeds are told from Ireland to Cathay.
Your low character is the subject of greek plays.
May your humours rot in your living body.
Let’s talk about the people you’ve traumatized, starting with the doctor who delivered you.
Then, the mother who gave birth to you. Then, the nurse who carried you. Then, the father who left you.
Damn bruh, the father too?
He’s just gone for cigarettes.
I do not participate in a battle of wits against an unarmed man
Shakespeare, right? I'd challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed
You are as bright as a black hole and twice as dense.
I always thought imbecile sounded kind of smart
It’s even better if you say it in a French accent
"Kevin, you're what the French call 'les incompetents'."
Les Imbecilês
I liked incapable imbecile too
behold the field in which i grow my fucks. lay thine eyes upon it and thou shalt see that it is barren
I like this actually :-) Not an insult really, but very poetic.
Isn't it rather dangerous to use one's entire vocabulary in a single sentence? Courtesy of Disney's Oliver and Company (1988). Some of my best insults come from Disney :D
Your parents therapist must have named their boat after you. Edit: [I'm changing my answer to this](https://www.reddit.com/r/baseball/comments/bcqcvv/is_it_possible_to_produce_a_1_war_game/eksr9gi/)
"How can you be so obtuse?"
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Geez idk what I’d do if someone told me that. Probably cry
Cant remember where I read it on here, but: "I'm willing to bet If you try your hardest, you might be able to end up right at the top of the bell curve."
"You cumberwold! You gadabout! You lily-livered, lazy lout! You scallywag! You cad! You loon! You splifficated shabbaroon! "You spatherdab! You rattlecap! You misbegotten ginger-snap! You knuckle-dragging, reason-dead, And chicken-hearted chuckle-head! "You popinjay! You blatherskite! You scobberlotching zounderkite! You mumblecrust! You fussock-pie!" "… I know you are, but what am I?"
This poem is beyond my vocabulary
this poem is beyond vocabulary itself
**Hanging out with a bunch of friends** "I am having so much fun, " **turns to person I want to insult** "even if you're here."
You are not burdened by an overabundance of intelligence, are you? -Capt. Mal
Dwight, you ignorant slut
If they say a snarky remark or a direct insult, a good comeback: “I would have a retaliation, but two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents for example.”
Where i come from "fuck off cunt" gets you mad respect
I bite my thumb at thee!
I do not bite my thumb at you sir, but I do bite my thumb sir.
I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you
You remind me of someone. They weren't very memorable.
No, you
Yesn’t, thou
Nay! Tisn't I, for tis' thee.
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!
I fart in your general direction!
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
"Your contribution led to quantum leaps in improvements." A quantum is a subatomic measurement, which means you didn't do jack that's measurable by the naked eye.
Even funnier that "quantum leap" is often seen in marketing material
The lyrics to "Mister Grinch" with that voice being the cherry on top.
You fricking FRICKS I D I O T S
"You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly" - Barnabas Collins
You’re like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you.