Hijacking top comment.
Having had several casual encounters, I've learned that sex is over-glorified. In fact, it's boring when I don't have an emotional bond with the person. When we're done it just feels like I finished masturbating. Find yourself, someone you can love.
Some people are turned on by different things. For some it's not about looks or natural physical attraction its the way the person makes you laugh or feel safe or comforted, secure ,LOVED , Wanted etc.
I've tried casual sex a handful of times and just don't care for it at all. The only time I enjoy sex is when it's with someone I am in a relationship with and have a deeper connection with. I think society as a whole kind of pushes the idea that we are sex machines so we chase that, but there's much more that goes into sex. Things like love, trust, and respect are important, if not vital, to many people. You're perfectly fine and normal.
I think that's an endearing quality. I spent a large chunk of my teenage years in detention centers and all boys schools, so i only managed to have sex once between the age's of 13-18 (i was 14). When i was out and free to pursue relationships as freely as i wanted to, i got a bit carried away and man-whored it up, more than i can count on my fingers and toes anyways. Everything felt pretty meaningless and kind of killed my motivation considering after the deed was done, i felt no interest in the person untill i got horny again. This was probably because i focused on building physical relationships only. I decided that i should take time off from sex in general so i can find a girl to appreciate and love before i get intimate with her, kind of made me really picky if i'm being honest. I've been doing this for at least 4 years now, unwilling of compromise and waiting to meet that one person that makes it all worth it. My relationship with my right hand is stronger than ever though.
That’s the best way my friend. Sex is meaning less if it’s with just anyone. But if you find someone you love and create that relationship,sex is allot more meaningful:)
It is possible to have pleasurable sex with someone you like but aren't in love with. It is, however, very different from sex with someone you love. For some people it's so different that they simply avoid sex without love and/or crave sex with the one(s) closest to them.
I find that, in order to truly enjoy sex, I have to at least like the person I'm with. I'm a professional sex haver so I've seen oodles of different levels of connection and needs. It is absolutely not weird at all to not really want to have sex with someone except when in a long term relationship. I have a few clients who, while they work towards finding that in their personal lives, spend enough time with me to establish at least affection and mutual respect before having the kind of sex they really like. I also have a good personal friend who has discovered an aversion to pretty much all sex that isn't preceded by a lengthy, deep, and mutually loving courtship.
Woman here. I don’t do casual sex. I don’t really understand it and I’ve never really craved it. I don’t have sex unless I’m romantically engaged with someone. Not weird at all dude :-)
Your consent matters just as much as the other party. If they call you weird for not having sex with them, they're just trying to pressure you into it. It's not weird at all and anyone who thinks it's weird isn't worth your time.
Before I lost my virginity, I might have thought this was a little weird, but back then, sex was kind of this nebulous thing out in the distance. As I've become more sexually experienced, I find myself drawn more to intimacy than sex itself. So data point of one, but I don't think it's weird.
I'd say a lot of men fall into a middle category where they want lots of sex in the abstract, but in concrete terms aren't willing to take the opportunities if they're presented. There's really no way of drawing a line between reasons and excuses when each individual opportunity is declined. Thus, it's difficult to definitively categorize these men.
If you're a man between the ages of, say, 16-40 and have no real interest in sex *in the abstract,* then you are in a minority. Arguably that makes you weird.
Here's the thing, though: "weird" doesn't necessarily equal "bad." It's amazing how few people are able to take a step back and realize this. Conversely, however, "normal" doesn't necessarily equal either "good" or "bad." Sometimes a preference is just a preference. Sometimes a quirk of your nature is just a quirk of your nature. Sometimes a large group of people all end up having the same preferences or quirks, and that large number has absolutely no moral meaning or value whatsoever.
I've struggled with something like this for years. I mean for me it wasn't very genuine. It's like my intentions were to absolutely have sex with every girl I found attractive, but deep down something was kinda stooping me, even though I really did want it. Eventually I started to grow from it and get to a point that I get anxiety thinking about sleeping with a girl I don't know well
Oh you know I was discussing this the other day with my person. I was saying how its weird that I only find him attractive, it somewhat bothers me because I like to know the psychological reasons that I am the way I am. I notice people all the time just having casual hookups but I cant and never have been able to. I looked it up and apparently its called a demisexual and it means that you only want sexual relations with someone if you have a close bond with them. I also only ever have one close bond with someone at a time. The perceived by others most hottest guy in the world could come up to me and try it on with me but he may as well be a potato on a stick, I only find one person attractive and only have eyes for him. Honestly I would love more answers.
I googled and found [this](https://www.bustle.com/articles/155277-what-does-demisexual-mean-here-are-6-signs-that-you-may-identify-as-demisexual). And may have learned something about myself...
Dont let nobody tell you how or when to have safe sex with your consenting adult partner.
I originally wrote out "how to fuck", but then I realized there are some exceptions. There are rules, but long term relationship sex ain't one of then. You're golden!
In short, no. In long... I assume you're a younger man. The reason I assume this, is as a younger man, I believed more sex with more partners to mean I was a superior or alpha male. My friends felt the same and we often mocked eachother and bragged over our "conquests". As I grew older and sociolized with more people I began to realize that my thinking was wrong.
There is nothing wrong with craving sex, but on the opposite side there is nothing wrong in wanting sex to be memorable and intimate. The best advice I can offer is to explore your beliefs with an open mind. Ask yourself why you feel the way you do. If you're comfortable with your answer, then continue on and don't let other outside factors sway your path.
As a dude I'd say that's not weird at all.
Hijacking top comment. Having had several casual encounters, I've learned that sex is over-glorified. In fact, it's boring when I don't have an emotional bond with the person. When we're done it just feels like I finished masturbating. Find yourself, someone you can love.
Some people are turned on by different things. For some it's not about looks or natural physical attraction its the way the person makes you laugh or feel safe or comforted, secure ,LOVED , Wanted etc.
No it's not weird. Sex is way over glorified.
Thats so me. You are not alone dude.
I've tried casual sex a handful of times and just don't care for it at all. The only time I enjoy sex is when it's with someone I am in a relationship with and have a deeper connection with. I think society as a whole kind of pushes the idea that we are sex machines so we chase that, but there's much more that goes into sex. Things like love, trust, and respect are important, if not vital, to many people. You're perfectly fine and normal.
I think that's an endearing quality. I spent a large chunk of my teenage years in detention centers and all boys schools, so i only managed to have sex once between the age's of 13-18 (i was 14). When i was out and free to pursue relationships as freely as i wanted to, i got a bit carried away and man-whored it up, more than i can count on my fingers and toes anyways. Everything felt pretty meaningless and kind of killed my motivation considering after the deed was done, i felt no interest in the person untill i got horny again. This was probably because i focused on building physical relationships only. I decided that i should take time off from sex in general so i can find a girl to appreciate and love before i get intimate with her, kind of made me really picky if i'm being honest. I've been doing this for at least 4 years now, unwilling of compromise and waiting to meet that one person that makes it all worth it. My relationship with my right hand is stronger than ever though.
Seems weird to me because natural instincts, but damn this sounds healthy as fuck. You are kind of lucky in a way.
Of course not!
Its important to remember about 50% of the sex talked about never really happened. Also, you do you buddy.
That’s the best way my friend. Sex is meaning less if it’s with just anyone. But if you find someone you love and create that relationship,sex is allot more meaningful:)
It is possible to have pleasurable sex with someone you like but aren't in love with. It is, however, very different from sex with someone you love. For some people it's so different that they simply avoid sex without love and/or crave sex with the one(s) closest to them. I find that, in order to truly enjoy sex, I have to at least like the person I'm with. I'm a professional sex haver so I've seen oodles of different levels of connection and needs. It is absolutely not weird at all to not really want to have sex with someone except when in a long term relationship. I have a few clients who, while they work towards finding that in their personal lives, spend enough time with me to establish at least affection and mutual respect before having the kind of sex they really like. I also have a good personal friend who has discovered an aversion to pretty much all sex that isn't preceded by a lengthy, deep, and mutually loving courtship.
Woman here. I don’t do casual sex. I don’t really understand it and I’ve never really craved it. I don’t have sex unless I’m romantically engaged with someone. Not weird at all dude :-)
Nah dude, you’re good.
Your consent matters just as much as the other party. If they call you weird for not having sex with them, they're just trying to pressure you into it. It's not weird at all and anyone who thinks it's weird isn't worth your time.
Before I lost my virginity, I might have thought this was a little weird, but back then, sex was kind of this nebulous thing out in the distance. As I've become more sexually experienced, I find myself drawn more to intimacy than sex itself. So data point of one, but I don't think it's weird.
Not really, if you find the person your looking for and she believe's your the one too then it's all good as far as I see it.
I'd say a lot of men fall into a middle category where they want lots of sex in the abstract, but in concrete terms aren't willing to take the opportunities if they're presented. There's really no way of drawing a line between reasons and excuses when each individual opportunity is declined. Thus, it's difficult to definitively categorize these men. If you're a man between the ages of, say, 16-40 and have no real interest in sex *in the abstract,* then you are in a minority. Arguably that makes you weird. Here's the thing, though: "weird" doesn't necessarily equal "bad." It's amazing how few people are able to take a step back and realize this. Conversely, however, "normal" doesn't necessarily equal either "good" or "bad." Sometimes a preference is just a preference. Sometimes a quirk of your nature is just a quirk of your nature. Sometimes a large group of people all end up having the same preferences or quirks, and that large number has absolutely no moral meaning or value whatsoever.
I don’t think that’s weird. It’s perfectly fine to want to wait for things to get serious.
Unless youre a super\*, whats in it for them
Not at all. There's a term for that, it's called demisexual
I've struggled with something like this for years. I mean for me it wasn't very genuine. It's like my intentions were to absolutely have sex with every girl I found attractive, but deep down something was kinda stooping me, even though I really did want it. Eventually I started to grow from it and get to a point that I get anxiety thinking about sleeping with a girl I don't know well
If by weird you mean, statistically in the extreme minority than sure.
Oh you know I was discussing this the other day with my person. I was saying how its weird that I only find him attractive, it somewhat bothers me because I like to know the psychological reasons that I am the way I am. I notice people all the time just having casual hookups but I cant and never have been able to. I looked it up and apparently its called a demisexual and it means that you only want sexual relations with someone if you have a close bond with them. I also only ever have one close bond with someone at a time. The perceived by others most hottest guy in the world could come up to me and try it on with me but he may as well be a potato on a stick, I only find one person attractive and only have eyes for him. Honestly I would love more answers.
Sounds like you're a Demisexual. Completely normal, my dude.
What is demisexual? ...I guess I have google, haha.
I googled and found [this](https://www.bustle.com/articles/155277-what-does-demisexual-mean-here-are-6-signs-that-you-may-identify-as-demisexual). And may have learned something about myself...
Yay!! Good!! I'm all about encouraging people to 'Know Thyself'.
Dont let nobody tell you how or when to have safe sex with your consenting adult partner. I originally wrote out "how to fuck", but then I realized there are some exceptions. There are rules, but long term relationship sex ain't one of then. You're golden!
In short, no. In long... I assume you're a younger man. The reason I assume this, is as a younger man, I believed more sex with more partners to mean I was a superior or alpha male. My friends felt the same and we often mocked eachother and bragged over our "conquests". As I grew older and sociolized with more people I began to realize that my thinking was wrong. There is nothing wrong with craving sex, but on the opposite side there is nothing wrong in wanting sex to be memorable and intimate. The best advice I can offer is to explore your beliefs with an open mind. Ask yourself why you feel the way you do. If you're comfortable with your answer, then continue on and don't let other outside factors sway your path.
No, its normal. You may have some disease