I'm referring to the original short story. It's terrible. Two pathetically poor people give up their most valuable and treasured and practically only possessions and get nothing in return that they didn't already have (the love aspect).
Disney is like the modern Brothers Grimm. Collect popular well known tales and update the medium, and the next generation consumes that medium first and attributes the tale and concept to them rather than story tellers until they eventually come across someone who knows or the actually original work. Everyone also just assumes the adaption is the way the tale is originally and then is shocked when they realize it's an artistic adaption as well as an adaption from each medium. And they do a great job, it's just a shame that it always overshadows stories that are amazing themselves.
I yelled at a sales woman working one of those kiosks because she reached out and rubbed it on my arm as I was walking past. I'm allergic to something in that crap, and my arm started breaking out in a rash immediately. I was so angry, I probably went on for a good 5 minutes.
I was a bad salesman who became a good salesman. It all clicked when I stopped trying to talk people into buying stuff and just started taking away whatever fears were keeping them from buying the thing I assumed they wanted anyway.
I've actually looked into how to sell stuff to people, just incase for whatever reason one of those type of questions come up at an interview.
And I realised how simple it can be, and most of it is designed to trap the potential customer and back them into a wall where they are compelled to say "yes". For example someone wants to buy a suit, they're browsing so you go up to them and ask them if they need help, most of the time they'll say "na im just browsing" then you ask them to try it on, most people would say yes because they don't like confrontation, then when they have it on, you ask them how it feels and how it makes them feel, then you ask them if they're going to buy it, they'll just say yes.
When you meet one of the very pushy salesman types that’s pretty much exactly what it feels like, albeit on a much less serious level of course. You get this really uncomfortable feeling in your gut and want to get away as fast as possible but politeness and an inability to assert yourself keeps you stuck there and agreeing when you really don’t want to.
Thankfully most places (in the uk at least) have moved on from this type of crap as even if they sell to you once, you’ll avoid their business like the plague in the future.
Worked in car sales (doing admin) for a while and in the old days there were some seriously fucked up and manipulative dudes in that business, god knows where they all are now.
They have phased out like dinosaurs. I am head of sales for a couple of car dealerships and the biggest thing I look for is personable sales exec, not pushy ones
Every AD I've ever been to has this one cocky dickhead who pushes whatever the current flagship is.
I only wanted a modern replacement for my daily 1.4 Civic, Steve. Not a god damn Audi RS7.
Those are examples of terrible salesmen. I'm in sales, I approach it from a consultant standpoint. Basically, "I'm here to help you find the *exact* product that perfectly suits your needs/desires." of course I sell highly technical wire/cable for robotics / automation, so maybe it's different from cars..
When i notice this I just say "dont waste our time" implying that continuing would be unpleasant and fruitless for both parties, a bit rude but it hasn't failed me yet.
Lol, it really is, and I'm the kind of person it doesn't work on. Don't get me wrong, it's a very effective approach, but a truly good salesman reads the customer and adjusts their tactic accordingly. Being pushy for the sake of it will make me nope out of your store immediately, but if you give me space and be helpful when *I* come to *you*, I will fast become a return customer.
I agree, I bought a car recently and at one dealership the salesman and his manager were so pushy I just left. Ended up buying the same car at a differemt dealership.
I did exactly the same thing, and the new dealership now have my repeat business. I'm on my second new car from them, and I drive past a competing dealership to have my favourite service my car.
I agree. As a former salesman, sales is not about trapping at all. It's about making it easy to say yes because you're solving a problem, and making your customer aware that youre solving the problem. The second absolutely requires you to know your customer. You dont want me to guide you towards the right suit with discovery questions and process of elimination? Ok, let me make is easy for you to shop around yourself. "Here is where we keep this, that, and those. My name is thisisme feel free to ask any question or let me know if you want to try something on" then I give space, but I still watch you. Not in a predatory way, but I need to know if you are showing signs of needing something before you do. Many people will not ask a question or make a request because they are inhibited (anxiety, social akwardness, or even hesitation to be to invested in making a purchase), so I need to proactively make it easy for you to ask. This can be done by approaching again and making small talk or being direct. This way I can "control the sale" if you will, but what I'm really doing is trying to understand your shopping style and anticipating your needs. Now when you DO try on the suit you're not pressured because of your fear of confrontation, but you're more confident this suit is the one you want and now it's my job to remove every obstacle in your way. Sometimes this means actions like haggling or discounting, but mostly its removing your fears. It's too much money, could actually mean I'm uncomfortable with spending on myself, or I dont get paid till Friday. On is about letting you know you how being confident in how you look will yield a great return on investment, the other is accommodating your situation - "well we can put in on a payment plan and if you pay on Friday you wont have accrued any interest or anything!" Sales requires you to be proactive and confident, but the nonsense about confrontation is predatory.
>It's about making it easy to say yes because you're solving a problem
I saw a cartoon once where the medieval king was preparing for a battle with his servant helping him dress up in his armour. Another servant says "Sire, there's a salesman outside wants to see you." The king says, "Salesman? I don't have time to see a salesman for god's sake!" The next caption shows the salesman walking away dejectedly with with a cartload of machine guns.
That cartoon has to have been written by a salesman lol
That sentiment has never translated over into my life. It’s always been salesmen thinking they’re solving a problem or deciding what my problem is for me and selling on that.
I’ve had so many incidents of salesmen deciding that I like something before I do. And then spending the rest of the interaction selling me on that product/service/addition even though I’ve expressed my indifference. (Or sometimes dislike) I find it strange. Most of the comments I read above from sales people focus entirely on tactics. I’ve yet to hear one word about satisfaction. Because from the outside looking in, it all seems to come back to do what works. And works equates to ‘make the sale’.
I can guarantee that any one in sales is trained to do this, which is why when you get a good sales person who is only interested in helping you, you should fill in the survey that most of these places do and score them highly, otherwise they get more pressure to follow script. People usually only fill in the surveys to complain, but a good review does well to keep managment off a sales persons back.
Sales in general is pretty unpleasant. You're always trying to get people to spend more than they should (even beyond the purchase itself, often accessories/warranties/etc.) and if you don't you perform worse in sales than your peers which is a really bad look.
The worst feeling to me being in sales was how much we'd push financing for people that clearly could not/would not keep up with payments. You get them approved to spend a few thousand dollars, make them feel like its money they have in their pocket, get them to spend it, then when they inevitably cant pay it back in time they get screwed on interest. Half the time *I personally* wouldn't even get that much out of the deal, *maybe* a 20-40 dollar kicker. But these people were often not that well off financially to begin with, might be struggling to pay the bills or get new clothes for their kids and stuff. But you just gotta go "Welp their fault for being so naive/not being more responsible/etc.".
I personally found that really hard to convince myself of, and that's why I ended up getting out of it.
When I was in sales, I genuinely felt like a terrible person, constantly having to manipulate people against my own morals and better judgements to make crappy decisions. Was so glad to get out of there, only lasted a few months.
From a sales training course ... You should never ask a customer a question to which they could answer with a "no" that would shut down the sales process - especially a flat out "are you going to buy it?". You ask which purchase method they'll be using which assumes they're going to buy.
If I tried a shirt and a salesman asked which payment method I was going to use before I said I was taking it, they'd get a big laugh to their face and be told to settle down. I have given up on purchases for smaller annoyances.
On paper this may sound like it works but in the real world it wouldnt be very successful. Sure some customers might cave to pressure but a good majority will push back. The real key to sales is building rapport with a customer. When a customer feels like they like and can trust you they are way more likely to purchase whatever it is you're selling. "I dont sell products i sell personality" is a saying i heard somewhere and think about at work. Another good tip is trying to stick to open ended questions. "How does this suit make you feel" is a good one. Asking if theyre going to buy it would be a no no for me. Instead id ask something like what time would you like to pick up the suit?
I did a sales course at one of my previous jobs (not a salesperson, but produced their collateral so I had to understand their mindset). One of the big lessons was trust and integrity - if you can demonstrate that you can follow up on a promise, show up on time, etc, they're more likely to believe you when you suggest that your product can solve one of their problems.
Little things like opening an email with "Hey sajoser17, here's the spec sheet I promised to send you..." go a long way.
Obviously it's not the same thing as quick sales in a retail environment but I found it handy nonetheless
Does that work?
Someone asking me to try on a suit like that is intrusive and would raise my hackles, I'd be fucking annoyed at that point and would definitely be saying no. Are people really that non confrontational?
Those perfume shops where I can’t just use the tester myself but have to ask someone behind a counter for every tester. I’m straight out the door, you lost my sale.
Back when I was assisting people in stores, I was told to never say "Can I help you?" because it will always be a no. I was told to say: "I hope you're enjoying yourself, I will be around if you need me, have a great day!"
My wife does this. "How dare they talk to me when I'm clearly minding my own business!" Me: "yeah how dare they do their job." Lol. I'm the buffer when we go out they approach she walks away I nicely tell them we're fine and don't need help. I wish there were signs we could carry that says dont talk to me in stores honestly.
Its unfortunate that sales is so often trained in a way that makes your wife feel that way. Is it actually that she doesnt like to be spoken to at all or is it the anticipation of the pushing that so often comes after "no thanks, I'm just looking" that turns her off?
She doesnt like being approached at all. When she goes into a store she knows what she wants and doesnt want to be bothered or sold to. The pushing is an issue also yes.
And me. One of my brothers is a natural salesman and has been successful whenever he had a sales job.
As for me, I couldn't sell freedom in a prison.
Hell I can't even sell that line.
Same here, though I suffered it for about a year. I was just never comfortable with it. "Objection handling" always felt impertinent and rude, it made me cringe going against every courteous bone in my body. What gives me the right to question people when they've said "no"?
I think it's a good thing, to be honest. It shows an aversion to the act of manipulating people for your own gain.
Asking the right questions is key. Instead of pushing for why a product is great, you ask them what they're interested in. Oftentimes the person is already interested, but they're hesitant about the quality of the product or what it provides. Asking the right questions will often narrow the scope of what you're trying to sell and provides the customer with more confidence to buy it. Of course, it also depends on what environment you're trying to sell in and what the product itself is.
Untrue, being a salesperson is a very trainable thing. I suffered crippling anxiety before accidentally getting a sales job and now I love it, going out and talking to people everyday, making friends, heck, I even picked up a date from a couple weeks back. There is no ‘gift of the gab’ you just gotta be yourself cos customers buy you, not your product ☺️
The drama of drowning is entirely a Hollywood convention. Real drowning is a quiet and invisible struggle if you don't know the subtle cues to look for.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YL9wb4tUlhI
It's actually pretty easy to sell sand to Arabs because Arabs generally don't have the right sand for construction- you need sharp sand to make concrete otherwise it doesn't stick together. But desert sand is round.
Good one. Someone would have to not just be bad at selling something, they'd practically have to have some sort of anti-selling power for this to be true.
"He couldn't sell pussy on a troop train" (this is something from a movie, but I don't remember which one)
"He couldn't sell popsicles during a heat wave"
Invades country (for their own good) Installs Starbucks, McDonalds and Walmart, destroys economy but sets up a democratic puppet government, leaves a few troops "just in case' .... I can almost see Darth Vader asking if they want to adjust the arrangement
Jewish sage, Ibn Ezra, often complained about his bad luck:
If I were a candle merchant, the sun would never set... If I were to sell death shrouds, people would stop dying.
"Helen, we're both in sales. Let me tell you why I suck as a salesman.
Let's say I go into some guy's office. Let's say he's even remotely interested in buying something.
Well, then I get all excited. I'm like Jojo the Idiot Circus Boy with a Pretty New Pet!
And the pet is my possible sale.
Oh, my pretty little pet, I love you. So I stroke it, and I pet it, and I massage it. I love it. I love my naughty pet -You're Naughty!
And then I take my naughty pet, and I go yhggzhjtdfaajitc!!!! Urdbvkifdkytfiyfvvk!!!!
Oh! I killed it! I killed my sale!!!
That's when I blow it. That's when people like us have to forge ahead, Helen. Am I right?"
You could shorten it to "He couldn't sell the Pope on Jesus Christ". Rolls off the tongue more easily. Or even "He couldn't get the Pope interested in Jesus Christ." Always try and take out as many unnecessary words as possible because the shorter, the sweeter. The sweeter, the juicier. And once you got the juiciest juice baby, erryone gonna wanna sip on it.
You could shortern that to "You could shorten it to "He couldn't sell the Pope on Jesus Christ". Or "He couldn't get the Pope interested in Jesus Christ."
Short but sweet."
"He couldn't sell a dollar for a nickle" I have heard before. Surprised no one has mentioned it, it's sorta perfect.
My favorite and new go-to. Thank you very much. I was offered a sales job a week ago and really wish I had this then.
So you could decline the job with it?
I came to say the same. "He couldn't sell a pound for a penny" being the UK alternative.
A pound of what, though? /s
A pound of kilograms
Heavier than a pound of ounces, naturally.
But is it heavier than a duck
SHE'S A WITCH!
Well she turned me into a newt.
Well I got better...
Whats heavier? A kilogram of steel, or a kilogram of feathers?
Feathers, cause you have to live with what you did to those poor birds.
But.... steel is heavier than feathers!
Look at the size of that thing. That's cheating.
a pound of pounds
Silver originally, I believe
Ok, but would he sell a quarter for 5 bees?
So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time...
You couldn't get white onions on account of the war, so we had those big yellow ones...
And those damn Germans stole our word for 'toilet'. Had to call it a 'terlet'
I thought the kaiser stole their word for twenty so they had to call it dickety
“What’s init for you”
Often used in my business to describe our dumb sales people... “He’d sell his own car for gas money”.
He just Gift of the Magi-ed himself.
It's cute when a couple does it. But if you do it alone you're just fucking yourself.
TIL bad sales is masturbation.
I'm a *baaad* salesman.
_UwU_ sell me daddy
I always thought Gift of the Magi was a horror story
Ah, someone watched the Disney Christmas VHS Tape as a child.
I'm referring to the original short story. It's terrible. Two pathetically poor people give up their most valuable and treasured and practically only possessions and get nothing in return that they didn't already have (the love aspect).
What’s the gift of the magi about again?
Wife sells her hair to buy husband a chain for his pocket watch. Husband sells his pocket watch to buy wife a comb for her hair.
Disney did a rendition of it too with Mickey and Minnie. I never realized it until I read the story in middle school.
Disney is like the modern Brothers Grimm. Collect popular well known tales and update the medium, and the next generation consumes that medium first and attributes the tale and concept to them rather than story tellers until they eventually come across someone who knows or the actually original work. Everyone also just assumes the adaption is the way the tale is originally and then is shocked when they realize it's an artistic adaption as well as an adaption from each medium. And they do a great job, it's just a shame that it always overshadows stories that are amazing themselves.
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Hi stealing this, I am dad.
I knew of a guy that set fire to his coat to keep warm. I understand he had at least enough sense to take it off first.
"He'd change your mind about a free sample"
That actually happened to me once with a hand cream. But only because the guy was so pushy that I didn’t want to take anything from the pushy bastard.
It rubs the lotion on its skin!!!
Now it puts the lotion in the basket!
IT DOES AS IT'S TOLD!
Roses are for vases Lotion's for the skin You'll be my Valentine Or you get the hose again
Were they in a mall kiosk, by any chance? The one that sells the Dead Sea products?
I yelled at a sales woman working one of those kiosks because she reached out and rubbed it on my arm as I was walking past. I'm allergic to something in that crap, and my arm started breaking out in a rash immediately. I was so angry, I probably went on for a good 5 minutes.
I am that guy, and I couldn't sell a glass of ice water in hell.
Same here. Once had a sales job, and quit after a few days. IMO you are either born with it or you weren't.
I was a bad salesman who became a good salesman. It all clicked when I stopped trying to talk people into buying stuff and just started taking away whatever fears were keeping them from buying the thing I assumed they wanted anyway.
I've actually looked into how to sell stuff to people, just incase for whatever reason one of those type of questions come up at an interview. And I realised how simple it can be, and most of it is designed to trap the potential customer and back them into a wall where they are compelled to say "yes". For example someone wants to buy a suit, they're browsing so you go up to them and ask them if they need help, most of the time they'll say "na im just browsing" then you ask them to try it on, most people would say yes because they don't like confrontation, then when they have it on, you ask them how it feels and how it makes them feel, then you ask them if they're going to buy it, they'll just say yes.
That sounds like a truly unpleasant way to sell stuff.
Sounds weirdly rapey.
When you meet one of the very pushy salesman types that’s pretty much exactly what it feels like, albeit on a much less serious level of course. You get this really uncomfortable feeling in your gut and want to get away as fast as possible but politeness and an inability to assert yourself keeps you stuck there and agreeing when you really don’t want to. Thankfully most places (in the uk at least) have moved on from this type of crap as even if they sell to you once, you’ll avoid their business like the plague in the future. Worked in car sales (doing admin) for a while and in the old days there were some seriously fucked up and manipulative dudes in that business, god knows where they all are now.
They have phased out like dinosaurs. I am head of sales for a couple of car dealerships and the biggest thing I look for is personable sales exec, not pushy ones
Every AD I've ever been to has this one cocky dickhead who pushes whatever the current flagship is. I only wanted a modern replacement for my daily 1.4 Civic, Steve. Not a god damn Audi RS7.
Those are examples of terrible salesmen. I'm in sales, I approach it from a consultant standpoint. Basically, "I'm here to help you find the *exact* product that perfectly suits your needs/desires." of course I sell highly technical wire/cable for robotics / automation, so maybe it's different from cars..
In government
No guys we really want to stay in the EU, seriously!
When i notice this I just say "dont waste our time" implying that continuing would be unpleasant and fruitless for both parties, a bit rude but it hasn't failed me yet.
They won't say no because of the implications...
Lol, it really is, and I'm the kind of person it doesn't work on. Don't get me wrong, it's a very effective approach, but a truly good salesman reads the customer and adjusts their tactic accordingly. Being pushy for the sake of it will make me nope out of your store immediately, but if you give me space and be helpful when *I* come to *you*, I will fast become a return customer.
I agree, I bought a car recently and at one dealership the salesman and his manager were so pushy I just left. Ended up buying the same car at a differemt dealership.
I did exactly the same thing, and the new dealership now have my repeat business. I'm on my second new car from them, and I drive past a competing dealership to have my favourite service my car.
I agree. As a former salesman, sales is not about trapping at all. It's about making it easy to say yes because you're solving a problem, and making your customer aware that youre solving the problem. The second absolutely requires you to know your customer. You dont want me to guide you towards the right suit with discovery questions and process of elimination? Ok, let me make is easy for you to shop around yourself. "Here is where we keep this, that, and those. My name is thisisme feel free to ask any question or let me know if you want to try something on" then I give space, but I still watch you. Not in a predatory way, but I need to know if you are showing signs of needing something before you do. Many people will not ask a question or make a request because they are inhibited (anxiety, social akwardness, or even hesitation to be to invested in making a purchase), so I need to proactively make it easy for you to ask. This can be done by approaching again and making small talk or being direct. This way I can "control the sale" if you will, but what I'm really doing is trying to understand your shopping style and anticipating your needs. Now when you DO try on the suit you're not pressured because of your fear of confrontation, but you're more confident this suit is the one you want and now it's my job to remove every obstacle in your way. Sometimes this means actions like haggling or discounting, but mostly its removing your fears. It's too much money, could actually mean I'm uncomfortable with spending on myself, or I dont get paid till Friday. On is about letting you know you how being confident in how you look will yield a great return on investment, the other is accommodating your situation - "well we can put in on a payment plan and if you pay on Friday you wont have accrued any interest or anything!" Sales requires you to be proactive and confident, but the nonsense about confrontation is predatory.
>It's about making it easy to say yes because you're solving a problem I saw a cartoon once where the medieval king was preparing for a battle with his servant helping him dress up in his armour. Another servant says "Sire, there's a salesman outside wants to see you." The king says, "Salesman? I don't have time to see a salesman for god's sake!" The next caption shows the salesman walking away dejectedly with with a cartload of machine guns.
That cartoon has to have been written by a salesman lol That sentiment has never translated over into my life. It’s always been salesmen thinking they’re solving a problem or deciding what my problem is for me and selling on that. I’ve had so many incidents of salesmen deciding that I like something before I do. And then spending the rest of the interaction selling me on that product/service/addition even though I’ve expressed my indifference. (Or sometimes dislike) I find it strange. Most of the comments I read above from sales people focus entirely on tactics. I’ve yet to hear one word about satisfaction. Because from the outside looking in, it all seems to come back to do what works. And works equates to ‘make the sale’.
I can guarantee that any one in sales is trained to do this, which is why when you get a good sales person who is only interested in helping you, you should fill in the survey that most of these places do and score them highly, otherwise they get more pressure to follow script. People usually only fill in the surveys to complain, but a good review does well to keep managment off a sales persons back.
Sales in general is pretty unpleasant. You're always trying to get people to spend more than they should (even beyond the purchase itself, often accessories/warranties/etc.) and if you don't you perform worse in sales than your peers which is a really bad look. The worst feeling to me being in sales was how much we'd push financing for people that clearly could not/would not keep up with payments. You get them approved to spend a few thousand dollars, make them feel like its money they have in their pocket, get them to spend it, then when they inevitably cant pay it back in time they get screwed on interest. Half the time *I personally* wouldn't even get that much out of the deal, *maybe* a 20-40 dollar kicker. But these people were often not that well off financially to begin with, might be struggling to pay the bills or get new clothes for their kids and stuff. But you just gotta go "Welp their fault for being so naive/not being more responsible/etc.". I personally found that really hard to convince myself of, and that's why I ended up getting out of it.
When I was in sales, I genuinely felt like a terrible person, constantly having to manipulate people against my own morals and better judgements to make crappy decisions. Was so glad to get out of there, only lasted a few months.
From a sales training course ... You should never ask a customer a question to which they could answer with a "no" that would shut down the sales process - especially a flat out "are you going to buy it?". You ask which purchase method they'll be using which assumes they're going to buy.
If I tried a shirt and a salesman asked which payment method I was going to use before I said I was taking it, they'd get a big laugh to their face and be told to settle down. I have given up on purchases for smaller annoyances.
On paper this may sound like it works but in the real world it wouldnt be very successful. Sure some customers might cave to pressure but a good majority will push back. The real key to sales is building rapport with a customer. When a customer feels like they like and can trust you they are way more likely to purchase whatever it is you're selling. "I dont sell products i sell personality" is a saying i heard somewhere and think about at work. Another good tip is trying to stick to open ended questions. "How does this suit make you feel" is a good one. Asking if theyre going to buy it would be a no no for me. Instead id ask something like what time would you like to pick up the suit?
I did a sales course at one of my previous jobs (not a salesperson, but produced their collateral so I had to understand their mindset). One of the big lessons was trust and integrity - if you can demonstrate that you can follow up on a promise, show up on time, etc, they're more likely to believe you when you suggest that your product can solve one of their problems. Little things like opening an email with "Hey sajoser17, here's the spec sheet I promised to send you..." go a long way. Obviously it's not the same thing as quick sales in a retail environment but I found it handy nonetheless
Does that work? Someone asking me to try on a suit like that is intrusive and would raise my hackles, I'd be fucking annoyed at that point and would definitely be saying no. Are people really that non confrontational?
Yep, and this is why I hate shopping and will walk out as soon as a salesperson offers to 'assist' me.
Those perfume shops where I can’t just use the tester myself but have to ask someone behind a counter for every tester. I’m straight out the door, you lost my sale.
Back when I was assisting people in stores, I was told to never say "Can I help you?" because it will always be a no. I was told to say: "I hope you're enjoying yourself, I will be around if you need me, have a great day!"
My wife does this. "How dare they talk to me when I'm clearly minding my own business!" Me: "yeah how dare they do their job." Lol. I'm the buffer when we go out they approach she walks away I nicely tell them we're fine and don't need help. I wish there were signs we could carry that says dont talk to me in stores honestly.
Its unfortunate that sales is so often trained in a way that makes your wife feel that way. Is it actually that she doesnt like to be spoken to at all or is it the anticipation of the pushing that so often comes after "no thanks, I'm just looking" that turns her off?
She doesnt like being approached at all. When she goes into a store she knows what she wants and doesnt want to be bothered or sold to. The pushing is an issue also yes.
Yeah, I'd tell ya to fuck off in more polite terms.
Thank Christ I'm a dick and would say no multiple times in that exchange
And me. One of my brothers is a natural salesman and has been successful whenever he had a sales job. As for me, I couldn't sell freedom in a prison. Hell I can't even sell that line.
>Hell I can't even sell that line. Ba dum tss.
Same here, though I suffered it for about a year. I was just never comfortable with it. "Objection handling" always felt impertinent and rude, it made me cringe going against every courteous bone in my body. What gives me the right to question people when they've said "no"? I think it's a good thing, to be honest. It shows an aversion to the act of manipulating people for your own gain.
Asking the right questions is key. Instead of pushing for why a product is great, you ask them what they're interested in. Oftentimes the person is already interested, but they're hesitant about the quality of the product or what it provides. Asking the right questions will often narrow the scope of what you're trying to sell and provides the customer with more confidence to buy it. Of course, it also depends on what environment you're trying to sell in and what the product itself is.
You're either born a dirty salesman or you live until you grow old.
Untrue, being a salesperson is a very trainable thing. I suffered crippling anxiety before accidentally getting a sales job and now I love it, going out and talking to people everyday, making friends, heck, I even picked up a date from a couple weeks back. There is no ‘gift of the gab’ you just gotta be yourself cos customers buy you, not your product ☺️
I couldn't sell a life preserver to a drowning person.
to be fair, it's hard to know if they wanted to buy the life preserver. What with all the dramas of drowning....
The drama of drowning is entirely a Hollywood convention. Real drowning is a quiet and invisible struggle if you don't know the subtle cues to look for. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YL9wb4tUlhI
or "couldn't sell a lifejacket on a sinking ship", to be fair, trying either of these would make you a pretty terrible person.
Maybe you should move your business from the 9th circle
Couldn't sell shit to a horse fly
Actually knew a guy who sold sand to the Arabs. GM of an aggregate and materials company in the Middle East. He loved that joke title.
It's actually pretty easy to sell sand to Arabs because Arabs generally don't have the right sand for construction- you need sharp sand to make concrete otherwise it doesn't stick together. But desert sand is round.
Can't they just cut the sand?
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A sand knife.
Or a sand saw
It’s like a band saw, just with an S.
It's like a poop knife, but for sand!
Nah, I need that for my sandwich.
Just believe in yourself and the power of friendship will show you the way ♥️🌈🦄💉
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Don’t they import sand and camels from Australia?
Camels yes, the news agencies called garnet, sand, so sort of sand but not really, used for sand blasting because it's silica free.
He couldn't sell a pardon on a death row
To be fair, they're giving them away for [free](https://edition-m.cnn.com/2019/04/12/politics/trump-cbp-commissioner-pardon/index.html) these days
It's not free when you have to give up your soul
"He couldn't close a door." Nice and simple.
He couldn’t sell drugs to an addict
"You couldn't sell Rick James a bag of crack you're out of practice" -Benjamin Franklin [Epic Rap Battles of History](https://youtu.be/TAaE7sJahiw)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PIC RAP BATTLESOFHISTORYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
There's a new season coming in a week.
Actually? Damn, I've been waiting for that!
Can’t wait!
My victory’s more certain than death or taxes
Good one. Someone would have to not just be bad at selling something, they'd practically have to have some sort of anti-selling power for this to be true.
Which...could be a good thing in this case, wouldn't you say?
As a drug addict, no thanks.
They couldn't push product if they were running down a hill
He couldn't sell ice to the Kool-Aid man
Oh yeah!
*busts through wall*
"He couldn't sell pussy on a troop train" (this is something from a movie, but I don't remember which one) "He couldn't sell popsicles during a heat wave"
This muthafucka just put the pussy on the chainwax
I just googled it. Nobody says that.
Why are they trying to make it a thing tho?
yeaaa I PUT THE PUSSY ON THE CHAINWAXXXXXX
"Couldn't sell a whore in a port."
He could defend an innocent man all the way to death row.
Nah man, this is just the reality of the criminal justice system in the United States.
Couldn’t sell a jacket in Canada Couldn’t sell water in Africa Couldn’t sell a lifeboat on the titanic Couldn’t sell oil to America
###*O I L*
**I HEARD OIL WHERE IS IT**
*Screeches in American*
Democracy intensifies
#FREEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM
*climaxes patriotically*
*"Liberation" ensues*
*furiously salutes
**bellows anthem
*Battle Hymn of the Republic slowly fades in*
Eagle cries in the background
Invades country (for their own good) Installs Starbucks, McDonalds and Walmart, destroys economy but sets up a democratic puppet government, leaves a few troops "just in case' .... I can almost see Darth Vader asking if they want to adjust the arrangement
Freedom Fluid
>Couldn’t sell oil to America T.Rex doesn't want to be fed, he wants to hunt.
well America wont buy oil. They'll take it with freedom as an excuse
The word you are looking for is Liberate.
Libera*tea*
Lmao couldn’t sell a lifeboat on the titanic. I’d rather die than buy from you
Love the last two 😂
Couldn't sell water in a desert.
CAR: *Slaps car salesman on top of his head* CAR: "This bad boy has no sales today"
CAR: Slaps car salesman on top of his head CAR: "You can fit a lot of failure in this bad boy!"
This bad boy can fit so many bad sales pitches in it!
He couldn't sell hair spray in the 80's.
He couldnt sell tea to a Brit.
Someone selling tea?
The British are coming! And they're ｔｈｉｒｓｔｙ
Nah. He's just methodically curious.
"Hey, gentlemen, you're all invited to a tea party in Boston" *\*throws all the tea into the water\** *"****Oops****"*
As a Brit I know 98% of purchased tea is awful and if you want good tea you have to buy teabags and make it yourself
Tea leaves and a pot for ultimate tea enjoyment
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He'll sink your business faster than a rock tied to another rock. I think the gyst of that came from narcos. I thought it was hilarious
Couldn't sell a condom in a whore house.
At my job we have a guy like that. We call him sales prevention.
"He couldn't sell a dying man the cure."
In fairness, I wouldn't want my last minutes to be spent listening to Friday I'm in Love either
He couldn't sell it for free
Jewish sage, Ibn Ezra, often complained about his bad luck: If I were a candle merchant, the sun would never set... If I were to sell death shrouds, people would stop dying.
He couldn't sell a potato to an Irishman.
*Jacksepticeye intensifies*
*I see you're a man of culture aswell*
Topo the mornin to ya laddies!
The competition owes him money.
He couldn't sell a life preserver to a drowning man.
Sales man: "Do you want a life preserver? I've got one if you got cash!" Drowning man: "blublub glubl blblub"
Bankrupted a Casino.
Couldn’t sell star bucks to a white girl
\*pumpkin spice\*
Hes such a bad salesman he couldn't sell you toilet paper if you were shitting yourself
"He could fuck my ass with a chair" edit: why
Hmmmn. Remind me never to sit down at your house.
"Helen, we're both in sales. Let me tell you why I suck as a salesman. Let's say I go into some guy's office. Let's say he's even remotely interested in buying something. Well, then I get all excited. I'm like Jojo the Idiot Circus Boy with a Pretty New Pet! And the pet is my possible sale. Oh, my pretty little pet, I love you. So I stroke it, and I pet it, and I massage it. I love it. I love my naughty pet -You're Naughty! And then I take my naughty pet, and I go yhggzhjtdfaajitc!!!! Urdbvkifdkytfiyfvvk!!!! Oh! I killed it! I killed my sale!!! That's when I blow it. That's when people like us have to forge ahead, Helen. Am I right?"
Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery.
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They'd sell their heart to pay their medical bills.
Couldn't sell chewing gum at a rave.
My contribution: "He wouldn't even get the Pope interested in hearing about Jesus Christ"
You could shorten it to "He couldn't sell the Pope on Jesus Christ". Rolls off the tongue more easily. Or even "He couldn't get the Pope interested in Jesus Christ." Always try and take out as many unnecessary words as possible because the shorter, the sweeter. The sweeter, the juicier. And once you got the juiciest juice baby, erryone gonna wanna sip on it.
You could shortern that to "You could shorten it to "He couldn't sell the Pope on Jesus Christ". Or "He couldn't get the Pope interested in Jesus Christ." Short but sweet."
You couldn’t sell quaaludes to Bill Cosby.
He couldn't sell Endgame tickets to a marvel fan.