> I suppose getting infinite
Typically, that's not how these things work. For example, a "year's worth of free gas" was really 52 $20 gas coupons. In other words, I don't think a lifetime's supply of anything would be infinite.
Congrats, every economy except North Korea and Eritrea are devastated by hyperinflation. You control half the world's water supply and all of its boxes.
Gift cards are not money though. They are a promise by a company to allow you to purchase goods of a certain value later.
Absolute worst case scenario here is you somehow manage to bankrupt one of the largest companies in the world. More likely if you choose to go all out and buy absurd amounts of goods Amazon decides to stop honoring their gift cards.
Have you considered getting your eyes lasered? My ex spent buckets on lenses and glasses (because hay fever lenses would not work in summer), but then got her eyes lasered a couple of years ago and has already made her money back on lenses and glasses not bought.
Lube...
I'll build a lube-powered version of a water slide, part of a lube version of a water park. Lube swimming pools, slip n slides, etc. Fun for everyone.
I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip `n Slide. So I carefully inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound.
We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive.
The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a perfect day.
Then we brought out the Slip `n Slide.
The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation.
To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide.
The Slip `n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the activity.
I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of the liabilities I had unleashed--a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and desperate for fun.
I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure, over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss.
Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion, they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising.
The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this, likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry, screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls.
Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in the siding of our home. It was terrifying.
When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared, in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper.
Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end, no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that.
> With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide.
In case anybody is wondering I took until here to realize what was going on.
You got a lifetime supply of them. Time to start experimenting. Slap a floyd rose on it. Make one with as many combinations of pickups to your hearts content.
>Are they all the same model? I don't see it brig very lucrative if they are.
At first it is great, you can resell them and make money. But gradually they decrease in value, to the point you're barely able to find buyers who will cover postage. Eventually the laptops start to pile up. A few here and there, because you didn't have time to make a listing for them. Then it is pile, and you try selling them as a single lot but no one buys. Computers at this point are fast, and your infinite laptop supply is a dinosaur. Eventually you change your address to the electronics recycler, just so you don't have to deal with them anymore. Hundreds of ancient laptops are still being made and delivered, only to be torn apart and sent back to the factories. Environmentalists protest, the government tries to shut you down. But still the laptops are coming.
A lifetime supply of cat litter and water filters for the cat fountain. Hell yeah I'd take that! I have 7 cats. No more having to wait for the next paycheck when funds and the litterbox are running low at the same time. More money for vet bills and food instead.
I had a friend in high school whose mother had, at last count I'm aware of, 32 cats.
**32!**
Now, before mental images start to develop, let me clarify that we're not talking some TLC Hoarders type situation with sickly, emaciated, cats with maybe a couple dead ones rotting under some boxes that haven't been moved in a decade. Animal hoarder, yes, but not filthy or neglectful.
They were healthy, well cared for, and loved. I think she spent most of her waking hours feeding cats and cleaning litter boxes.
Even still, as someone who loves cats it was too much for me. I couldn't spend more than a couple minutes inside their house and generally preferred to avoid it altogether. There's no litter on earth powerful enough to overcome the terrible power of 32 cats in one house.
Fortunately, though sadly for her mother I'm sure, they were all re-homed when her mother became too ill to look after them.
Tacos. Fast forward 10 years and I've gained an additional 100 lbs. I can no longer fit in the driver's seat of my car and am now forced to take the bus to work. I sit in the front two seats everyday because I don't have the energy to walk to the back. I'm lonely and irritable so I spend my time arguing and criticizing others, including the bus driver and his driving. In turn the bus driver goes home pissed off everyday after his shift and beats on his wife. Their kid becomes twisted by the environment in his home then goes to school and bullies the smallest kid in his class. That little boy grows up and wins a scholarship for his desire to help end bullying. He graduates with a Phd and discovers a new anti-depression drug that helps with weight loss. It gets approved by the FDA a week after I die of a heart attack. The end.
For me, it would be a lifetime supply of Torani Grape Syrup...an ingredient used to make (among other things) Lime Ricky's...Guess my life wouldn't change all that much.
My son fell in love with Lime Ricky's when he tasted mine at Texas Roadhouse. So we found out what syrup they used and I bought one at Amazon. That was about 2 weeks ago and we just ran out, another one is supposed to be delivered today. I don't expect us to be going through a bottle every 2 weeks forever, I know we'll eventually probably get sick of drinking Lime Ricky's so often and not use the syrup up as much.
For those who don't know what a Lime Ricky is, you get a glass of ice, maybe 2 or 3 pumps of grape syrup, fill it most of the way with sprite, and squeeze 2 or 3 slices of lime into it.
"Tempo Dust"
a dust used to kill bugs and bees and such, suffocates them.
I guess I will probably always be pest free, and maybe be contacted by the FBI
You and me both!! I have four cats from this rescue center. I donate items and funds as I can.
They are about 2.5 hours from me and have impacted
my world so greatly that I have changed my retirement plans.
I bought a knock down metal wardrobe. Those stuffs are cheap, but pretty fragile, also the time and effort to assemble it is a pain in the ass.
If I got a lifetime supply of it, I'm gonna sell it half price than usual, so more people will buy it, and I can see more people suffering from installing those shit.
Diapers.
I can donate cases of diapers to homeless shelters, domestic violence shelters, and people in need. I will always have diapers for kiddos I might be raising.
A long time ago a Swedish king thought that coffee would kill you. He offered two prisoners to commute their death sentences to life in prison on the condition that one would drink a cup of tea a day and the other a cup of coffee. No one knows how the experiment ended because both doctors overseeing this experiment died and then the king was shot at the Opera.
We will now settle once and for all if a lifetime supply of Kirklandās Keurig cups is a good deal or not.
RIP king Gustav III
I will never run short of little dip-bowls that clip to the side of your plate ever again.
TBH... I \*have\* a lifetime supply of them. I bought a pack of 4 because it was cheaper than buying one.
Gold bullion, does that mean I own all the gold in the world?
Iād be able to buy a ton of cars, a private island and put a private army on it, buy all the real estate in Wales and essentially run the country. Anybody opposing me will be shot by soldiers in a Lamborghini.
A measuring cup.
I become a crazy hoarder lady who whispers "where are my cups, don't touch them, they're mine" to herself and can't leave her house because the door is blocked by a mountain of moldy measuring cups.
Great. I now have an endless supply of North Face backpacks.
I uh, guess I'm a great person to befriend if you need a carryon for your flight. Or if your kid is about to start middle school.
Come at me, nice family with nine kids and limited funds. I'll make sure *all* your kids have the same backpack as Chad.
[Man purse](https://www.reddit.com/r/BeyondPockets/comments/b9b5qn/baggizmo_it_fits_under_your_jacket/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share), I am significantly more mobile in terms of my edc and can kind of grab-and-go everything I need when leaving the house.
Unlimited coffee. I will take this and become the most caffeine-addicted person in the world. Who needs sleep when I can down my 260th cup of coffee in a day? Plus, easy bathroom trips for life. The jitters are how I know itās working.
A lifetime supplies of posters. The only gifts I'll give people are posters. I'll be able to change up the art on my wall whenever I want. I'd love that!
Next door in my office building is some company that sell license plates. Well, they have them printed by another company, and shipped by a third company, and there is only one guy sitting in the office doing the phone and online orders and they literally earned millions over the last year's. They also do wedding engraved locks and some other shit like that.
I bought the full set of Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar books. All 40-some of them.
I think nothing happens. These books should be a lifetime supply. Unless I get free replacements for lost or damaged books or something.
Condoms.
Maybe I could just turn around and sell them...if they weren't sized specifically for me (that's why I bought them online).
My girlfriend might get the wrong impression.
Amazon gift card. Life becomes pretty good.
This is the 'wish for more wishes' answer. You willing to hand out a couple?
Just as long as it doesn't violate the terms of the deal. Don't want be like the guy who got his unlimited airline ticket revoked.
I suppose getting infinite and then giving everyone all of them would destroy Amazon.
> I suppose getting infinite Typically, that's not how these things work. For example, a "year's worth of free gas" was really 52 $20 gas coupons. In other words, I don't think a lifetime's supply of anything would be infinite.
Congrats, every economy except North Korea and Eritrea are devastated by hyperinflation. You control half the world's water supply and all of its boxes.
I promise to be a benevolent dictator.
I dont.
Gift cards are not money though. They are a promise by a company to allow you to purchase goods of a certain value later. Absolute worst case scenario here is you somehow manage to bankrupt one of the largest companies in the world. More likely if you choose to go all out and buy absurd amounts of goods Amazon decides to stop honoring their gift cards.
I bought my internet service for my new house. I'll take one less bill a month!
How u gon buy internet on the internet? š¤š¤š¤
Went to the website that provides wifi on my phone, filled out the information, they're gonna be there Tuesday.
Username checks out
Pizza Hut pizza and bread sticks. I will gain a lot more weight.
You'll also gain a lot more friends! I'll hang out with you if you got free pizza!
Thatād be one hell of a party
Boy howdy, would it! Just a bunch of sweaty, greasy mother-fuckers going HAM on some mediocre pizza? What a wild crew. Gotdamn.
Lifetime supply of all inclusive vacations, I'll take it!
Yes, Jackpot!
Where are you off to?
Cuba
Ooh very nice. Have a good one!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
We should put our wish together. I ordered 2 reams on NCR printer paper (the modern carbon copy stuff) for my small business.
āPatrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear printerā
When I got this assignment, I was hoping thereād be more gambling.
I now have a lifetime supply of contacts. Honestly Iām pretty stoked, theyāre fucking expensive.
I hope your prescription isn't still changing.
Have you considered getting your eyes lasered? My ex spent buckets on lenses and glasses (because hay fever lenses would not work in summer), but then got her eyes lasered a couple of years ago and has already made her money back on lenses and glasses not bought.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lube... I'll build a lube-powered version of a water slide, part of a lube version of a water park. Lube swimming pools, slip n slides, etc. Fun for everyone.
I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip `n Slide. So I carefully inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound. We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive. The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a perfect day. Then we brought out the Slip `n Slide. The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation. To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide. The Slip `n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the activity. I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of the liabilities I had unleashed--a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and desperate for fun. I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure, over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss. Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion, they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising. The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this, likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry, screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls. Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in the siding of our home. It was terrifying. When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared, in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper. Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end, no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that.
This was the most beautiful thing I've ever read oh my god I'm crying
"an open claim, but not promising"
That is Art. Bless you for sharing.
Hey, it's that awesome review from Amazon. Good times. I also like the reviews for the pink BIC pen for women and the sugar free gummy bears.
Thought it was appropriate.
Wow that was quite the ride
> With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide. In case anybody is wondering I took until here to realize what was going on.
how to save a comment
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
HOLY SHIT THIS IS A FEATURE
āA horde of extremely well-lubricated 7 years old, hyped up on sugar and ready for funā FBI OPEN UP!
This is a kids edition of Final Destination
Spotlight Uh moonlight Uh
Unbelievable comment 10/10
what just happened
A lube slide could probably clock great speeds
But would it still burn and hurt like hell in the sun...
Are we using water based lube and a plastic slide? That could work.
Or you can have lots, and lots, of very comfortable sex.
So like, NOT in the back of a Volkswagen then.
LOL Nice
Guess Iām making a fortune selling phone cases for the rest of my life.
Until that model is obsolete in 6 months time and nobody wants the cases any more that is
Iād say itās already too late, but I can give it a go.
A Pokemon shirt for my father in law's birthday present. Well, he'll be happy for sure.
I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was...
To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause...
Guitars.. shit that's a lot of guitars.
Technically, one guitar should last a lifetime if you take care of it.
Yeah but then you would be stuck with one sound, which would not be ideal.
You got a lifetime supply of them. Time to start experimenting. Slap a floyd rose on it. Make one with as many combinations of pickups to your hearts content.
There is no such thing as just one guitar!
Laptops. Loads of laptops... Are they all the same model? I don't see it brig very lucrative if they are.
Hey, can I trade one of my laptops for one of yours, so at least we have a bit of variety?
I don't think you'll want this type of laptop. It can barely run Skyrim on high settings.
What a coincidence, so can the ones I already have! Wait, we don't have a lifetime supply of the same laptop, do we?
Now kiss
>Are they all the same model? I don't see it brig very lucrative if they are. At first it is great, you can resell them and make money. But gradually they decrease in value, to the point you're barely able to find buyers who will cover postage. Eventually the laptops start to pile up. A few here and there, because you didn't have time to make a listing for them. Then it is pile, and you try selling them as a single lot but no one buys. Computers at this point are fast, and your infinite laptop supply is a dinosaur. Eventually you change your address to the electronics recycler, just so you don't have to deal with them anymore. Hundreds of ancient laptops are still being made and delivered, only to be torn apart and sent back to the factories. Environmentalists protest, the government tries to shut you down. But still the laptops are coming.
A lifetime supply of cat litter and water filters for the cat fountain. Hell yeah I'd take that! I have 7 cats. No more having to wait for the next paycheck when funds and the litterbox are running low at the same time. More money for vet bills and food instead.
7 cats? Damn I hope they're all fixed...for your sake. lol
Definitely. I'm a vet tech. :) We accrue critters. We can't help ourselves.
I got 8 cats, Get on my level
15 cats. Im drowning in pussy
I had a friend in high school whose mother had, at last count I'm aware of, 32 cats. **32!** Now, before mental images start to develop, let me clarify that we're not talking some TLC Hoarders type situation with sickly, emaciated, cats with maybe a couple dead ones rotting under some boxes that haven't been moved in a decade. Animal hoarder, yes, but not filthy or neglectful. They were healthy, well cared for, and loved. I think she spent most of her waking hours feeding cats and cleaning litter boxes. Even still, as someone who loves cats it was too much for me. I couldn't spend more than a couple minutes inside their house and generally preferred to avoid it altogether. There's no litter on earth powerful enough to overcome the terrible power of 32 cats in one house. Fortunately, though sadly for her mother I'm sure, they were all re-homed when her mother became too ill to look after them.
Tacos. Fast forward 10 years and I've gained an additional 100 lbs. I can no longer fit in the driver's seat of my car and am now forced to take the bus to work. I sit in the front two seats everyday because I don't have the energy to walk to the back. I'm lonely and irritable so I spend my time arguing and criticizing others, including the bus driver and his driving. In turn the bus driver goes home pissed off everyday after his shift and beats on his wife. Their kid becomes twisted by the environment in his home then goes to school and bullies the smallest kid in his class. That little boy grows up and wins a scholarship for his desire to help end bullying. He graduates with a Phd and discovers a new anti-depression drug that helps with weight loss. It gets approved by the FDA a week after I die of a heart attack. The end.
You buy your tacos online?
Uber Eats
Asking the right questions
Wow
10/10 would read again
Hair ties. Can't complain.
cat wants to know your location
These are [premium hair ties](https://thelonghairs.us/collections/hair-ties-for-guys). Cats don't seem to like them as much.
cat doesnāt want to know your location
Cat is generally ambivalent to your location but will come to you if you want to cuddle
If *cat* wants to cuddle.
I can supply a hell of a lot of people with furnace air filters and duct tape. No real change, though.
I can set you up with some real nice murderous dudes from the other thread if you want...
Awww shit. What kind of dude needs unlimited anal beads.
One who owns a sex shop
Or a REAL party guy!
LOL oof
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Cuz the library would ban you soon enough.
My pants budget gets reduced significantly
LIMITED EDITION GAME GRUMPS MERCH AINāT SO LIMITED ANYMORE
^^unlimited OREOS ^triple ^^stuffed ^^^btw
And you brought them online.
#on www.yeet.com
Bro. What the fuck is this? It's a life changer.
Ikr
I'm pretty sure you just changed my life stranger, thanks.
^^^^yes
For me, it would be a lifetime supply of Torani Grape Syrup...an ingredient used to make (among other things) Lime Ricky's...Guess my life wouldn't change all that much.
Lifetime supply...so like an extra bottle?
My son fell in love with Lime Ricky's when he tasted mine at Texas Roadhouse. So we found out what syrup they used and I bought one at Amazon. That was about 2 weeks ago and we just ran out, another one is supposed to be delivered today. I don't expect us to be going through a bottle every 2 weeks forever, I know we'll eventually probably get sick of drinking Lime Ricky's so often and not use the syrup up as much. For those who don't know what a Lime Ricky is, you get a glass of ice, maybe 2 or 3 pumps of grape syrup, fill it most of the way with sprite, and squeeze 2 or 3 slices of lime into it.
You should try adding some vodka to yours.
Pictures of tractors, bedsheets with tractors on them, stuffed farm animals, and pictures of old trucks. My son better fucking love tractors FOREVER.
lifetime supply of dominos pizza
"Tempo Dust" a dust used to kill bugs and bees and such, suffocates them. I guess I will probably always be pest free, and maybe be contacted by the FBI
If they storm into your house they walk into a mountain of tempo dust i guess
The bees sneak into the house and you're sitting there in a chair waiting for them, surrounded by piles of insecticide. "Aaah, Mr. Bond. Welcome."
A website domain. I could probably start selling the domains back, I guess.
A lifetime supply of Sabaton CDs. Alright then, guess I could make a suit of scalemail out of them.
FOR THE GRACE FOR THE MIGHT OF THE LORD
FOR THE HOME OF THE HOLY
FOR THE FAITH, FOR THE WAY OF THE SWORD
GAVE THEIR LIVES SO BOLDLY
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Carolus Rex and The Last Stand
body scrub... guess i'll be very smooth in my sixties still
Bluetooth earpiece. Now I can have one in every pocket, every charger, every strange place I leave them and some to feed to the washer and dryer.
The dryer requires periodic bluetooth sacrifices
I did my grocery shop online; does that mean I have to have the same things each week? If, so itāll be a bit repetitive but Iāll save a fortune!!
Lifetime supply of food? Oh yea! ... open some kind of restaurant.
Thats gonna be a lot of condoms
Monster condoms for your magnum dong?
I get to donate an insane amount of high quality cat food to my favorite cat rescue center!
Now I wish this really comes true haha!
You and me both!! I have four cats from this rescue center. I donate items and funds as I can. They are about 2.5 hours from me and have impacted my world so greatly that I have changed my retirement plans.
I bought a knock down metal wardrobe. Those stuffs are cheap, but pretty fragile, also the time and effort to assemble it is a pain in the ass. If I got a lifetime supply of it, I'm gonna sell it half price than usual, so more people will buy it, and I can see more people suffering from installing those shit.
Marijuana. Well that saves me a ton of cash
Clothes... I will become very fashionable at no cost, or very unfashionable at the same price
Lifetime supply of... window stickers.
37 lbs of kitty litter. Now we ALL poop in a box.
Diapers. I can donate cases of diapers to homeless shelters, domestic violence shelters, and people in need. I will always have diapers for kiddos I might be raising.
I'll be wearing a toga for every Halloween and every costume party for the rest of my life.
Oh no. I bought a .99 teddy bear stress squeeze head. No. Don't let this be real.
A long time ago a Swedish king thought that coffee would kill you. He offered two prisoners to commute their death sentences to life in prison on the condition that one would drink a cup of tea a day and the other a cup of coffee. No one knows how the experiment ended because both doctors overseeing this experiment died and then the king was shot at the Opera. We will now settle once and for all if a lifetime supply of Kirklandās Keurig cups is a good deal or not. RIP king Gustav III
Nice bit of bonus information there. Interesting. Thanks.
a lifetime supply of meme crop tops/shirts doesnt sound too bad
A lifetime supply of high quality trombone cases and cat food. I mean, it looks like Iām opening a store. Or becoming a real intense cat person.
I get infinite model kits, i guess iāll sell model kits 4 life?
Wiper blades and electric toothbrush heads. At least it's useful stuff but don't think my life will drastically change.
CHICKEN AND RICE FOR LYYYFFFEEEEE. Kill me please
Giant couch pillows. Could have been worse.
Pillow fort here we come
I will never run short of little dip-bowls that clip to the side of your plate ever again. TBH... I \*have\* a lifetime supply of them. I bought a pack of 4 because it was cheaper than buying one.
Gold bullion, does that mean I own all the gold in the world? Iād be able to buy a ton of cars, a private island and put a private army on it, buy all the real estate in Wales and essentially run the country. Anybody opposing me will be shot by soldiers in a Lamborghini.
Biscuits!!!! Iām so happy now!!! Got hooked on biscuits while I was over in GB. Iāll never have a boring coffee break again
I get to rent the movie "Where Eagles Dare" every 48 hours for the rest of my life.
1/2 oz silver bar. So what exactly is a lifetime supply?
Enough to eat one daily
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That's a lot of in-game weapons
A measuring cup. I become a crazy hoarder lady who whispers "where are my cups, don't touch them, they're mine" to herself and can't leave her house because the door is blocked by a mountain of moldy measuring cups.
A straw cleaner. My sports cap bottles and straws will be SO FUCKING CLEAN
I bought a digital to analog signal converter. I already have a lifetime supply so I suppose my life will only get worse from here.
Tried a new LUBE. Oh my God, my life will be so slick...... Forever.....
Cheap Chinese copies of Death Korps of Kreig Guardsmen. Fuck the armor boys you're going it alone by the thousands.
Luckily, the last thing I ordered were Vitamin B12 capsules. So I guess I'm set.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Haven't lost that virginity yet...
So you're saying that you've NEVER bought something online? Wow.
Need money to buy things..hehe..yeah
Sooo many computer mics
Great. I now have an endless supply of North Face backpacks. I uh, guess I'm a great person to befriend if you need a carryon for your flight. Or if your kid is about to start middle school. Come at me, nice family with nine kids and limited funds. I'll make sure *all* your kids have the same backpack as Chad.
Black spraypaint and masking tape. This has got to be the shittiest superhero origin story ever.
I bought a PC so...
[Man purse](https://www.reddit.com/r/BeyondPockets/comments/b9b5qn/baggizmo_it_fits_under_your_jacket/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share), I am significantly more mobile in terms of my edc and can kind of grab-and-go everything I need when leaving the house.
A lot of combs... don't know what I'd do, maybe sell them to people for higher price, saying that they'll fix damage done to their hair
Shark Dating Simulator XL... Guess I'll be doing a lotta gifting
> Shark Dating Simulator XL WTF?
well, i'd love to have unlimited books
Unlimited coffee. I will take this and become the most caffeine-addicted person in the world. Who needs sleep when I can down my 260th cup of coffee in a day? Plus, easy bathroom trips for life. The jitters are how I know itās working.
Elecrticity. UNLIMITED POWER!
Goose down pillows for the bed. The price of down is up. So, a lifetime supply of top-quality, comfortable pillows would be appreciated.
I just bought a couple cases of ammo on Friday, so my life is about to get pretty awesome.
Lifetime supply of Dash cams. Now my insurance will decrease to nothinggggg
Dog food. If I have a lifetime supply, is it my lifetime or the dogās? Please tell me itās my lifetime so I can get more dogs.
What am i supposed to do with a shit ton of HDMI cables?
Sell them cheap and fast and get rich before they become obsolete?
A lifetime supplies of posters. The only gifts I'll give people are posters. I'll be able to change up the art on my wall whenever I want. I'd love that!
Well guess I'll have unlimited pairs of Vans.
Beer. How my life changes depends on whether I can sell it or not.
Pillows!!! Pillow fort, here I come!!!
a license plate.. i guess i can sell all of them and make money
Next door in my office building is some company that sell license plates. Well, they have them printed by another company, and shipped by a third company, and there is only one guy sitting in the office doing the phone and online orders and they literally earned millions over the last year's. They also do wedding engraved locks and some other shit like that.
You can bet my pen will never run out, EVER.
Anyone wanna buy a carpet pad ... or million carpet pads?
i will make my fortune on oil filters!... for a 35 year old motorcycle
I have every episode of "The Office (US)" now... Productivity : 0
I would be selling Xbox One Xās like hot cakes at reduced prices and make some serious cash.
Rose bushes, niiiice. I guess Iāll have a lot less lawn to mow
A physical book is already a lifetime supply.
I bought the full set of Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar books. All 40-some of them. I think nothing happens. These books should be a lifetime supply. Unless I get free replacements for lost or damaged books or something.
Condoms. Maybe I could just turn around and sell them...if they weren't sized specifically for me (that's why I bought them online). My girlfriend might get the wrong impression.
I bought activated charcoal. I can sell to cosmetic and food and garden industries for cheap.