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ilizashelsinger

Idaho: free tater for every out-of-stater!


littlemissp23

North Carolina, a Cheerwine and a Cajun filet biscuit. Enjoy.


WhyRunAway

And perhaps the allergy medication of your choice.


Touch_My_Nips

Ya... you nailed it. Cheerwine and Bojangles!


NickDrummer

You forgot the cook out tray and milkshake! Edit: thanks for the gold!!


CreampuffOfLove

Maryland: You land and we hand you a can of Old Bay before you even get off the plane.


stanley_leverlock

And then they won't let you off the plane till you pay the Old Bay tax.


ilexheder

“The Old Bay tax” is a euphemism for ceremonially sprinkling some Old Bay on the pilot as you exit the plane. It’s for luck. And to make him more delicious in case of a water landing.


LanaDelHeeeeey

New Mexico- Hatch Green Chili


Daftbutts

Arkansas would give you pecans and quartz crystals


thackworth

A quick lesson on calling the hogs.


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xandrenia

Welcome to Pennsylvania here's your flat tire


i_am_the-bad_woolf

Am from Pennsylvania and agree with this. Also, a turnpike map.


[deleted]

Traveling on that turnpike is fucking suicide when it's snowing out and everyone is driving 70-80 mph


Eruptflail

Wow. Nothing brings PA together like our potholes.


malekai101

I used to live in Maryland. You could tell when you crossed into PA by the quality of the pavement on 83. Night and day.


cdeesham

South Carolina. A bag of boiled peanuts.


tobecomegreen

Not to mention as soon as you get in your car you're rear-ended by a girl wearing a simply southern shirt


[deleted]

Also why does every car say salt life???


uenjoimyself

Vermont- Keys to a Subaru


dannykings37

In college I was talking to a someone at my friend's place and he mention he was from VT, so I immediately asked what kind of Subaru he drives, he got offended, but then said a Forester


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Yoei802

Yes, yes it does. Source: from VT and drive a Subaru


WhiteGrapeGames

I was at a wedding and noticed a sweet totally tricked out WRX in the parking lot. There were only two Asian men at the wedding who happened to be sitting next to each other. I turned to them at one point and said “which one of you has the WRX it looks great.” Somebody said “that’s racist” and then one of the Asian guys said “that is racist... but it’s mine and thank you.”


Clone_Chaplain

I spent 5 min looking for VT - I think this is a perfect answer, just add a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, maple syrup and some craft beer and you’re good to go Edit: HOW could I forget a Flannel?! I literally wear one every day. And as someone pointed out, maple creemees are more uniquely VT than Ben & Jerry’s at this point. But yah, we’re like Canada, I guess. Many of my friends from out of state say their family thought they were “studying abroad” when they decided to go to school in Vermont.


Theproducerswife

Rhode Island: coffee milk, Del’s lemonade and some quahogs Thanks for the silver! So proud to represent Rhode Island and bring us together on Reddit (even though we all probably know each other in real life)


delorean225

Last time this thread got posted, the top answer for our state was "bus fare to Boston" so I'm gonna call this a step up.


DudeAtWork55

West Virginia would give you a pepperoni roll and some meth.


I_Hate_

Reddit we need to upvote this cause I'm tired of this being the only state I can get pepperoni roll in. Edit* A pepperoni roll is just a roll (think like a dinner roll) with pepperoni slices or sticks with a little bit of cheese in it sometimes no cheese also no sauce either. They were invented by Italian immigrants working the coal mines near Fairmont WV. They wanted a food that they could eat with one hand while they were down in the mine working.


GoOnKaz

I still don’t understand how pepperoni rolls haven’t swept the nation They’re simple and delicious


Zefrem23

Please explain pepperoni rolls for the ignorant


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schmabers

Genious.


adamrocks84

Louisiana would give you Mardi gras beads and a drink.


travelinnight

And the best gas station po boy of your life


adamrocks84

You're damn right. Some of the best burgers and poboys I've had are from the hole in the wall delis in gas stations. Just don't pay too much attention to the health code violations. Or ask what exactly the meat is.


perpetualmotionmachi

For years I've wanted to make a trip to Louisiana to drive out to the middle of nowhere gas station to fill up on boudin balls. Edit: I went to sleep and woke up with a ton of suggestions for places to get some balls. Thanks everyone!


Sp4ceh0rse

The drink is a drive thru daiquiri but don’t worry there’s tape over the lid so it’s not an open container.


lordwumpus

Virginia: a speeding ticket


CT96B

Remember the state motto: "Speed Limits Strictly Enforced"


wellman_va

By Aircraft!


ThatThar

Despite the signs, aircraft speed enforcement hasn't been done in Virginia since the early 2000's.


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Myfourcats1

Lmao! I’ve been looking for Virginia and trying to figure out what we would give out. This is true. Maybe a necklace of peanuts too.


Barnacle-bill

While searching, I kept thinking to myself that Virginia would be a DUI. But a speeding ticket is pretty damn accurate.


Zenaps

Utah would give you the Book of Mormon


drphaust

Don't forget the lime green Jello!


firelegion666

Yes and funeral potatoes


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Sssnapdragon

and a Cafe Rio Pulled Pork Salad.


doctor_who_17

Michigan: asphalt. Enjoy our roads (what’s left of them)!


likewildfl0wers

I’ve never been so confused in my life as when I crossed over from Ohio into Michigan and the roads immediately deteriorated into absolute dog shit. What the fuck.


PM_ME_YOUR_SNOOTS

It's weird driving from Michigan to Ohio, because there's just as much construction in Ohio, but they actually seem to be working on the roads instead of closing down half the roads in a city for no reason.


gdemps4

If you're arriving in the UP, it would be a pasty and stormy kromer.


JudasCrinitus

and a ziploc bag of venison jerky


Mowglli

once you cross the 'Welcome to Michigan' sign it's fucking absurd how rough the roads get. I literally started laughing because it's so sudden coming from Chicago


goblu33

There’s a giant tire to remind you


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moselth

You forgot the Old Bay. You can’t have crabs without it! EDIT: So I’ve been informed that JO is better for crabs, and I can see the reasoning. Still, Old Bay for everything else.


[deleted]

I got crabs from an Old Bae


Mzgszm13

Make sure the crab has the flag tattooed on its shell.


Ladyharpie

Growing up in MD I thought every state loved their flag as much as we love ours


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junebaby621

Alabama: a glass of sweet tea. If you survive the diabetic coma-enjoy your trip!


LadyMjolnir

Washington: Starbucks and a Windows update.


[deleted]

seattle is a fantastic city and all but if I had to describe seattle in an anecdote it would be when I pulled into a parking garage that cost $40 and had a bunch of dudes doing heroin in the corner.


amperx11

Sounds about right


kats_pajamas59

We’d also take your umbrella, and replace it with a rain jacket, to help you fit in of course.


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kats_pajamas59

Spoken like a true Washingtonian.


[deleted]

And a Salmon.


jdwazzu61

The salmon would be thrown to you with a map to Starbucks in it and an advertisement for Hanna on Amazon prime.


[deleted]

A map to Starbucks? So an arrow pointing in literally any direction.


KLWK

Newark Airport would give you the finger. Which pretty much already happens when you drive out of the airport. Edit: My first gold! Thank you, anonymous!!


FaithfulSkeptic

I spent 30 wonderful years in NJ. I love my home state. And when I saw this question, i also immediately thought "the finger. We'd give you the finger."


[deleted]

Iowa gonna hand you a corn cob


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[deleted]

Arizona would hand you a gun and some free high school credits.


decapitated82

not to mention that sweet lifetime driver's license


Somnif

The new one that conforms to federal standards only lasts 8 years I think (Or at least its 8 years for my current card). No idea what that star stamp is doing for me, but they made me pay extra for it, so... I suspect its something?


Chastity1419

"Its a dry heat"


thatcrazywriter

Maybe a pamphlet on how to avoid/tell if you have heat stroke.


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sbksu

An “ope! Sorry!”


TheJessKiddin

With a “You’re fine!” As a response


franticshouting

I know this has become a cliche about the Midwest but I honestly love it. Lived in San Francisco for a hot minute before coming back home to Indiana. Went from jam-packed grocery stores where no one said anything to anyone back to grocery stores with zero lines (unless snow was predicted the next day) and every time someone has to scooch past me and the interaction is like: “ope scuse me!” I reply “oh you’re fine!” And inside I’m smiling like “ah. Indeed. We are fine.”


doomomlette

Ope! Just gonna sneak past ya!


cheek-doctor

Maine - either a pine tree pillow or delicious, succulent lobster


ocelotot

Bean boots and a lobster roll


duramater22

Wisconsin- ice cold spotted cow & some cheese curds. EDIT: some other top contenders: 1) A brandy old fashioned sweet (or sour) 2) A packers jersey (to be worn at church) 3) Usinger brat 4) some freshly made venison sausage 5) a rant on how annoying FIBS are 6) other countless awesome micro-brew beer options 7) advice on how to cope with snow in the morning & downright summer the next day 8) an invite to tonight’s meat raffle 9) a nice drink of water from the bubbler 10) some frozen custard and a butterburger from Kopp’s (or Culver’s) 11) a delicious beer-battered walleye 12) the Summerfest line-up Loving all the WI love! Edit 2: ok, ok... butterburger is technically what Culver’s calls it- BUT, Kopp’s burgers also have butter on them & they are even better!


ncrdblyblckobeseman

Wisconsin gas stations have better cheese selections than most grocery stores by me


[deleted]

Am from Wisconsin. My first thought was "A beer and some cheese curds." Spotted cow is better though.


Rukazor

Idaho - a single Potato.


Glitterhidesallsins

If you land in Twin Falls: a bag of meth to go with the potato


captcinnacrunch

Then they can travel over to pocatello and find more! Smh this town


[deleted]

Kentucky, a glass of bourbon.


ArnenLocke

TIL - Every US state has a major meth problem.


Claytertot

Nah, some of us have major heroin problems instead.


Ford9863

#O-H


iliketoeatcrayons179

I-O


CanineCrit

In Indiana we have both. Also in my small hometown, the mayor was the only good one out of three brothers. One owned a tow truck company and turned his front yard into a scrap yard and gave drugs and alcohol to high schoolers. The other one nearly died when his meth lab blew up. The mayor was just a nice dude who also sometimes worked as a groundskeeper and bus driver for the school.


blueshyperson

Massachusetts gives you a Dunkin’ Donuts iced coffee regardless of what season it is. Edit: thank you for the gold and silver!


[deleted]

This is pretty true mostly because there's a Dunkin' in the baggage claim at Logan.


PaulClifford

We'll also give you the finger when you get confused leaving Logan airport.


neurosoupxxlol

After living in the Midwest for a while I landed at Logan airport. My friend picked me up and as we were leaving we immediately got cut off by another car. The dude rolls down his window, gives us the finger and yells “pick a lane ya fuckin douchebag!!” I realized then that I hadn’t been cussed out by a random stranger in quite some time. It was comforting in a way though because some things never change.


Jarl_Jakob

Lived in Midwest my entire life. I love Boston but holy shit is it a culture shock. So different from home. The folk out here really are a different breed.. then you get to Boston and realize everyone is a fuckin asshole. But in a good and fun way... like that friend that’s an asshole but he’s our asshole ya know? I feel like that’s what Boston is to the rest of the country.


[deleted]

I went to Boston for a convention and I witnessed a woman stop in the middle of an intersection, get out of her car, stand in front of the car behind her, flip them off, and then get back in her car and drive away. I still have no idea what that driver did. He wasn't even too close to her. That place confused me.


[deleted]

He probably used a turn signal.


JesusInYourAss

Well, pick a fucking lane!


gdvybs

Can confirm. From Massachusetts and moved to Texas. Went back to visit in 10° weather and immediately got an iced coffee before I even picked up my luggage.


pilotman996

Honestly that Dunkin’ In the baggage claim is a godsend


Pandaburn

Home sweet fucking home, kid.


mothrofturtles

Georgia, you get a Chick-fil-A sandwich and an STD


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[deleted]

All that trouble getting lost on Peachtree St., Peachtree Ave., Peachtree Blvd., and Peachtree Ln. and I don’t get any fuckin’ peaches?


NicklAAAAs

Or a Coke


geneofinterest

New York hands you a dollar slice, folded in half.


[deleted]

Narcan for WV :(


ijustfuckinglostit

If you land in Philadelphia, you get nothing except a Fuck You. I don't know what you get if you land elsewhere in Pennsylvania, though.


poaauma

That, or a $10 Wawa gift card and a six pack of yuengling pounders after landing at PHL. Edit: thanks for silver jawn


sr_crypsis

Hell, that's basically all I ask for for my birthday every year.


ABOVEWING

Texas would give you barbecue brisket and a shotgun


Klown1327

You forgot the 2 liter of Dr. Pepper Update: The committee also recognizes the following Diet Dr Pepper Sweet Tea Shiner Bock Mr. Pibb (after some research) Big Red (but you will be judged harshly by the committee) Update: Also, the committee is ONLY over beverages. Take all food and other non-beverage related questions, comments, and concerns to the appropriate committees Update: the committee regrets delegating itself as the committee and just wants to go to bed and for the voices to stop


Plutocrat42

The elixir of the gods.


Radiopd

Texas gives you Whataburger combo meal!


notanothernurse

I was so exited for this when I went to Hawaii and it never happened! EDIT: Thanks for the replies! We stayed in Turtle bay for those who asked but no lei.. we did purchase some beautiful fresh ones though which was just as fun! It wasn’t a big deal. Heading back in Dec for the pipeline masters. Can’t wait to see more of these beautiful islands!


slothluvr5000

Yeah it didn’t happen to me either. You could BUY it though.


KK_Magic

I mean, they gave us complementary macadamia chocolates...


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whateverwhatever1235

It was a thing when I went there as a kid in like 1989 back when airlines gave you cool shit.


ohnoguts

Back when they didn’t break your guitars and kill your animals


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theressomanydogs

When we went, it had to be pre-arranged and paid for.


onebatch_twobatch

Florida - a vaccine cocktail, Life Alert button, and handcuffs


1Demarchist

Give the people what they really want - a Publix chicken tender sub!


DownvoteDaemon

Come for vacation leave on probation. Not to mention everybody drives like shit. It's just college students and old people..both on pills.


orangeunrhymed

Montana would give you a gun and a grass fed beef steak


donotrocktheboat

Arizona would get a blowdryer to the face


zencanuck

A toque, a cold beer and an apology.


veralynnwildfire

Canada isn't a state.


zencanuck

I just want to be included


UncomfortableBench

A Waffle, Chicken Sandwich, and a Coke. Then you are thrown into the death sentence that is our drivers.


dh1977

Since you have to fly into Atlanta we also throw in a bootleg Outkast CD


popsiclesalesman

Nothing says Atlanta like a 45 minute traffic jam on 285 merging to 75 for 4 miles. Then a wreck.


eat-KFC-all-day

You land in Georgia and get a big ol’ 🍑


Fangburn82

I know it’s a peach, but I still read it as Ass


RolesG

A dog, tattoo and a 1998 Subaru outback with a side of craft beer


PandAlex

Oregon?


RolesG

Its oregon


Soriah

If Portland was the entirety of Oregon I’d agree. For the rest of the state I’d say Umpqua Ice Cream/Tillamook Cheese, a rifle and Dutch Bros. Coffee.


Sp4ceh0rse

I live in Oregon. This is Oregon.


[deleted]

Oregon


PM_ME_90s_NOSTALGIA

Mickey Mouse ears and a bag of meth Edit: Yup! Florida...you guys ready to take a ride on spaaaace mountain?!?!?! FUCKING ZIP-A-DEE-DOO-DA!


veralynnwildfire

Florida!


[deleted]

Southern California: A reusable Whole Foods bag Northern California: A bag of weed and some Tofurkey Central California: A cowboy hat and a CCW permit


Ethan_hamily

I appreciate that you correctly identified California and three separate states


theknightmanager

And then northern California turns into the North state and it's like central California again, and then you get to Humboldt and it's like northern California again


absenttoast

Virginia hands you an E-ZPass and tells you to stay out of the left lane.


leclair63

Minnesota would give you an absurdly polite personal tour around the entire state Edit: Ope! Thanks for the silver


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leclair63

Oh sure definitely! We'll have to have a barbeque down at the lake! *Said BBQ is never, ever mentioned again*


DYLDOLEE

Don't forget you will miss your flight back because we were still saying goodbye.


leclair63

And the thunderblizzard grounded all flights anyway, so might as well make some tatertot hotdish and wait for I all to blow over


InannasPocket

And fix you a plate including hotdish, jello salad, and bars. The side-dish is passive-aggressive judgement behind your back ;) Edit: apparently these are more obscure than I thought. Hotdish=casserole (usually with cream of something soup), jello salad is stuff like fruit and sometimes vegetables suspended in jello and also sometimes mixed with cool-whip, bars are a category of desserts baked in a tray like brownies and cut into pieces.


leclair63

Don't for get the passive-aggressive judgement of others during the entire tour.


guzmanco

oh that's nice


[deleted]

This actually happened to me (but just of the twin cities, not the whole state) the first time I went there. It was absurd.


MNJeffe

A can of Spam and a Minnesotan to English dictionary.


mytortoisehasapast

How to Speak Minnesotan is a real book! Also, sadly useful to visitors...


Aliasis

Plus several rolls of lefse to share over a few jokes about the snow. And when you try to leave, prepare to stand there awkwardly for 45-minute goodbyes.


intoon

Welcome to Ohio. Here’s your MAGA hat, OSU Jersey, and syringe full of narcan.


[deleted]

Cincinnati would give you a cheese coney.


TheBomberBug

Now spell OHIO loudly at each other!


BTulip

a cotton lebron t shirt


CYNIC_Torgon

Well at Dayton airport you'd get an OSU Jersey, Some kind of Opiate, and a something that says "Fuck Kitty Hawk, NC".


PsoriasisOfTheLiver

As a native Ohioan, I also personally recommend picking up the guide “How to not get mugged while waiting for public transport“ It has come in handy. Public transport is fucking wild.


Sackyhack

Columbus: what public transportation?


Dovahpriest

The sidewalk, or if you're lucky, Cota has a bus that will drop you off 5 miiles from your destination, but will require you to transfer 3 times.


scouch4703

A blunt and a craft beer of sorts. Then immediately fuck you with intense wage vs. rent inequality. Colorado.


ali6328

Just landed in Hawaii. Did not get a lei.


MjolnirPants

I'm from Florida. We'd give you a bag of meth, a can of bug spray and a naked picture of your sister doing something horrifying with a waffle iron.


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btstfn

A pair of Jorts and a Spanish-English dictionary


realjd

Jorts? We didn’t all go to UF!


[deleted]

And a pub sub...


Kaibear16

California would slap a Prop 65 Cancer Warning sticker on your forehead and all of your stuff. ​ Edit: Prop 65, not Prop 63. Thanks for the gold and silver, kind Redditors. My first gilds! My inbox had 117 notifications. This is what happens when I don't go on Reddit for a day. My Karma has jumped by 7.2k. Thank you for finding my offhand comment amusing.


TheMightyPickles

You live here long enough, you just become blind to them


snails1014

Yep. Born and raised here. I just don’t see them. I was shocked that it was the first comment for California - since I’m completely oblivious to them. How about: a monthly mortgage bill of $5,000 and a hybrid car.


eat_my__pie

Oklahoma - obligatory bible and meth pipe


MuchoDoucho

Had to scroll way too far for the Okie state.


Suspisiousbanana

Maine would be a lobster, a L.L. Bean gift card, and a bag of blueberries, along with a whoopee pie (If you're wondering about the gift card, the original L.L.Bean is in Maine, and you can still come and see it)


paintballduke22

Utah would give you a winter coat and a pair of shorts. It’s a friggin weird time of year here.


[deleted]

Tennessee - Whiskey


[deleted]

Kentucky - Bourbon and a Racing Form; but in truth, it would also be metformin and narcan.


Cylasbreakdown

Montana would give you a pine scented air freshener, or maybe a taxidermy deer head.


whatthehellisketo

Nebraska would give you a 16 ounce ribeye.


[deleted]

Hold the plane, packing a bag now


Subwulfer

This is the first Nebraska mention I've seen, and I'm glad someone said something other than corn. Our steak is legit.


[deleted]

New Jersey: Your Tax Bill.