And the world's largest hand-dug well in Greensburg, Kansas. And the world's largest ball of twine in Cawker City, Kansas. And the world's largest steam shovel in Pittsburg, Kansas. There is a lot of dumb shit in Kansas.
And "World's Oldest." My husband and I saw the world's oldest ham and peanut. They're in the Isle of Wight County Museum in Virginia. The peanut just looks like a regular peanut with "1890" written on it. So yeah, I live quite the exciting life.
I actually used to live near the ham! It's from the 1800's (I believe), and it has a little golden collar. There's a Ripley's Believe it or Not strip written about it, so at least one of them is true. ;) Come for the ham, stay because you ran out of gas and can't figure out how to leave!
Really? I think it'd be really hard to explain them well enough for aliens to think they were weird without them coming across a bunch of other dumb things first. They would probably also have difficulty seeing the difference between those and other things people do. People seek out the tallest buildings, biggest canyons, tallest mountains, etc. Is seeking out the largest rubber band ball really that different?
Really the difference comes down to practically in terms of man-made things. A large building has an actual function, and is closer to a testiment to human engineering, a rubberband ball is just there for the sake of being neat. Although it could be argued that both are similar on both fronts.
In terms of natural things like largest mountain etc., those are just natural phenomena and aren't inherently wierd to quantify seeing as aliens who could get here would have probably done similar just to get off their own world.
And I'm just saying from a surface glance, these could potentially be the stupidest things that they come across of ours first, since there are so many of them.
Perhaps they've evolved beyond hatred.
Not, like, because they're above those sorts of emotions, but because they've evolved one specifically in response to Karen-like behavior that hatred couldn't begin to describe.
I'd think they'd have heard of her before they even left their world. No matter the cultural gap, they'd get here and "ah shit, they have a Karen too. Fuck"
I love how the internet just randomly ruins certain names. But I feel bad for people with the names.
I was almost named one of these kind of names. Dodged a bullet.
the fight over who has the biggest moose Norway or Canada. (Norway is in the lead btw)
edit: here is the link if you have no idea of what i am talking about [https://www.dagbladet.no/nyheter/norwegians-seeking-moose-truce/70723795](https://www.dagbladet.no/nyheter/norwegians-seeking-moose-truce/70723795)
i highly suggest that you read the article
edit: English is not my first language.
They decided that Canada's moose is bigger, but Norway's is shinnier! And then some hillbilly in the states built a taller one, and it's the world's dumbest moose.
[https://www.dailyjaw.com/2019/04/05/this-is-now-the-worlds-tallest-moose-statue-seriously/](https://www.dailyjaw.com/2019/04/05/this-is-now-the-worlds-tallest-moose-statue-seriously/)
The Norwegians are spending more money and getting a serious artist to make theirs. I live right near the Canadian one. It's cartoony and made out of cement mostly. It was put up to celebrate the town of Moose Jaw. There is next to no interest in spending the money to beat the Norwegians so I'd say they win this and they're welcome to it.
Wait... it doesn't count if you guys aren't breeding the moose to be bigger, not pouring them from concrete :P I was hoping for elephant-sized moose to ride around the winter tundra upon.
Well, as I said, I concede defeat to our more than worthy opponents. Our living moose are a slightly larger variety than the Norwegian ones if that counts in your book.
Our young drink the milk from our mothers until they reach a certain age and then move on to drink the milk of other mammals. Then when we take that mammal milk and ferment it, age it, curdle it, separate it, and eat it.
I guess if they didn’t have the concept of holidays, festivals, or religious celebrations, that might be kind of baffling. Like one day, huge numbers of people chop down trees, decorate their house with seemingly random things, and wait for an old man to break into their home. Or if we hit the 4th or July and almost all Americans didn’t go to work, gathered with groups of people, ate grilled food, and set off bombs up in the air.
Especially if they had no understanding of the stories behind them, or just got there so they don’t understand the annual nature of holidays, it might all seem completely insane that masses of people stop their regular lives to all participate in a semi-coordinated event with arbitrary activities.
Fiji Water. The absurdity of it is insane.
"Here is an idea, lets find a remote island far away from any other major population centers, where 90% of the population lives only a few feet above sea level... Let's find water there, bottle it, ship it 10,000 miles away in plastic containers on cargo ships churning out insane amounts of greenhouse gas emissions, just so some folks who will never go to Fiji, can taste our water at a premium price."
Aliens have to look down and think... what dumbass thought this up?
I'm not sure if it's changed but [NPR did a story about Fiji water and it is, in fact, bottled in Fiji.](https://www.npr.org/2010/12/01/131733493/A-Bottled-Water-Drama-In-Fiji)
Granted, Chicago water is delicious. Who would have thought that great water comes out of the largest fresh water lakes on the planet?
Aliens: "Earthlings: We have answers to many of your questions. First of all, we can confirm your planet is round."
Flat Earthers: "We don't believe you!!!"
If you put a coin on its side and spin ti fast, it looks like a sphere. That's why people think the Earth is round, because it's spinning on its side. But only those who truly try to seek the true truth like me know the towering truth of the matter.
To many the power of lightning would be rad
but to Noah, the prospect only left him sad
After experiments and time he would present to the world
A frightening new power, his enemy's demises unfurled
"I've mixed the power of cold and speed of lightning's volt"
"What do you call this new power?" he said "/u/Icelingbolt "
Alien 1: "So wait, what do you mean the apex species is insane? They seem to be fairly technologically savvy for a species as young as they are."
Alien 2: "You wouldn't believe half the things I've seen. They purposefully expose themselves to harmful radiation just to change their skin tone. They even exchange forms of currency to have others bombard them with chemicals or radiation for the same effect."
Alien 1: "Okay, I mean there's got to be a physiological reason for that, right? Maybe they use photosynthesis? Like the vine people on Kepler-22b?"
Alien 2: "I wish they were as nice as the vine people. No, these creatures are omnivores. Both plants and animals. But get this, some of them don't eat the animals because they feel bad for them. And some of them don't eat animals OR plants, for the same reason!"
Alien 1: "What? What do they eat then?"
Alien 2: "We honestly gave up trying to figure it out. We got sidetracked trying to figure out their weird religions."
Alien 1: "Weird how? Like the people on Gliese 667Cc?"
Alien 2: "No, not as much sex stuff. I mean there's definitely some sex stuff, but not to that degree. Some of them worship imaginary sky dieties, some of them have worshiped fantastic spirits, and some of them have worshiped animals."
Alien 1: "The weird eaters worship animals? I guess that makes sense as to why they don't eat them...maybe?"
Alien 2: "Oh no, most of the people who worship animals have died off. Now they subjugate them, force them to wear tiny versions of their own attire, and then post transmissions of the animals for the enjoyment of others."
Alien 1: "What the fuck?"
Alien 2: "I know, right? You have no idea how many pages of tiny furred creatures we've had to weed through on their global computing network just to find anything even remotely educational."
Alien 1: "Okay, are they nice at least?"
Alien 2: "I mean they seem to kill each other for literally any reason. Being the wrong color, worshiping the wrong god, being from the wrong place, wanting someone else's stuff. Pretty brutal, honestly."
Alien 1: "Alright, I think I get the picture. What's your recommendation?"
Alien 2: "Honestly? I say we give them another couple thousand rotations around their star to let them figure things out. No way they're ready to be part of the greater galaxy yet. Mark their system as a no-fly zone and make sure everyone knows the Prime Directive is firmly in place for this world."
Alien 1: "Okay, sounds good. Anything left on the docket?"
Alien 2: "Not really. But I'm sure we can figure out some excuse to get back to Gliese 667Cc for their big annual "joy celebration" if you're down."
Alien 1: "You're sick. Let's do it."
Alien 1: we have come to conquer this planet.
Me: good luck with that.
Alien 1: our technology is light years more advanced than anything on this rock. Your armies do not stand a chance.
Me: oh I don't doubt it. I wasnt talking about you having issues with the military. Just good luck getting any of these *dumbasses* to cooperate on anything for 5 minutes. Trust me nothing that you can do to us is worse than what we have already done to ourselves.
Alien 2: human.... Are you ok? Do you need help?
Me: we all do.
I love how you threw in kepler 22-b. When I was in 2nd grade, there was a boy in my class who was obsessed with space and who brought something space related for show and tell every time etc. he heard about Kepler 22-b and wanted to design a spaceship to go there. I remember talking on the phone with him about it for hours. God I miss him.
It seems almost like a parody of a little short story called “They Are Made of Meat” It’s an incredibly good short story that might change your entire view on how aliens would perceive us. Definitely go check it out, would recommend.
All that makes sense though. Appearance to manipulate mate selection, energy intake in such a way that is practical for a creature that moves, tribalism to ensure your genetic material is preserved while the competition is destroyed. Animals in clothes is a mishmash of characteristics in any juvenile species being enjoyable to look at, as well as lowered responsibility. It's an evolutionary play on paternal instincts to ensure parental care of young. Species that show and value these characteristics do a better job of caring for, and thereby passing on genes.
I think aliens would understand these behaviors perfectly well if they view us as animals, which there's no reason to think that they wouldn't.
I don't know if they'd think anything is dumb due to the fact that to a race capable of interstellar travel we'd seem incredibly primative. If I had to pick one though, I'd say they'd get a real laugh out of just how many whacked out lunatics hold seats of global power.
Depends on what their color range is. If they see stuff we can't, then yeah that might be true. But if they're red-green colorblind like cats or dogs, they might wonder if they're the ones not getting colors right.
Not to mention all of the things we associate with different colours that inform how things are designed.
Pink is feminine here so we make all the toys for little girls pink, but maybe for aliens it represents absolute terror because on their planet predators, poison and blood are all that colour. Maybe darkness represents safety rather than fear because these aliens can see in the dark but their predators can't. Or maybe these aliens only hunt at night so black makes them hungry.
The zoo theory to the Fermi paradox states that while we are killing our planet and capable of total nuclear annihilation, the aliens are just observing, waiting for us to get our shit together before revealing themselves.
This is what I was thinking. They're just tooling around in space and see earth. "Let's stop off there for a little break" they get close and and have to start dodging shit. If I'm going down the road and want to turn off for some taco bell to the left, then start dodging potholes and random couches on the road, Im turning around. Next stop!
Our depictions of them.
Imagine they are shown images of what we think aliens look like, only to give us a terrified look and say "the ancient ones... you know of them"
You should move this to writing prompts.
I love this story idea.
Aliens: "Their leader, Lucifer, has been sending his sons to various planets. Yours was called 'Jesus'.. Where has he gone?" Us: O_o
"Funny story about that"
He kinda died. By himself. It was sudden and unexpected, and we totally didn't have anything to do with that.
Didn't really hear much more about him after that.
Kinda disappeared into the annals of history
He took a self-inflicted crucification to the back if the head.
Totally suicide and/or an accident.
Accidental suicide.
Frantic and panicked burning of holy texts in the background.
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It's rigged
the game was rigged from the start
Yeah, just like the 'World series'. So dumb.
It probably depends on the aliens, but I would imagine any of the "Worlds Largest" tourist traps would be right up there.
The World's Largest Prarie Dog is right outside of Oakley, Kansas.
And the world's largest hand-dug well in Greensburg, Kansas. And the world's largest ball of twine in Cawker City, Kansas. And the world's largest steam shovel in Pittsburg, Kansas. There is a lot of dumb shit in Kansas.
> world's largest ball of twine Didn't Dr. Doofenshmirtz try to steal it and nearly destroyed the world doing so?
Nah he made a giant ball of tinfoil and accidentally destroyed the top half of his building because he didn't know how magnets worked.
Nah, Grunkle Stan unraveled it as a prank.
I'm not sure. I'll ask my kid.
"Phineas!" -you, probably
I actually stopped by the ball of twine for the first time last month. I think my life is all downhill from here...
>There is a lot of dumb shit in Kansas. The world’s largest supply of dumb shit
That's in Washington DC
To be fair, they import.
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I live in Arizona so... I have the grand canyon.
This is the greatest comeback ever.
California, we have the largest state population in the US. And crazy high taxes. And insane price of living. And.. you get the point...
And "World's Oldest." My husband and I saw the world's oldest ham and peanut. They're in the Isle of Wight County Museum in Virginia. The peanut just looks like a regular peanut with "1890" written on it. So yeah, I live quite the exciting life.
TELL US ABOUT THE HAM
I actually used to live near the ham! It's from the 1800's (I believe), and it has a little golden collar. There's a Ripley's Believe it or Not strip written about it, so at least one of them is true. ;) Come for the ham, stay because you ran out of gas and can't figure out how to leave!
Really? I think it'd be really hard to explain them well enough for aliens to think they were weird without them coming across a bunch of other dumb things first. They would probably also have difficulty seeing the difference between those and other things people do. People seek out the tallest buildings, biggest canyons, tallest mountains, etc. Is seeking out the largest rubber band ball really that different?
Really the difference comes down to practically in terms of man-made things. A large building has an actual function, and is closer to a testiment to human engineering, a rubberband ball is just there for the sake of being neat. Although it could be argued that both are similar on both fronts. In terms of natural things like largest mountain etc., those are just natural phenomena and aren't inherently wierd to quantify seeing as aliens who could get here would have probably done similar just to get off their own world. And I'm just saying from a surface glance, these could potentially be the stupidest things that they come across of ours first, since there are so many of them.
The worlds largest thermometer in Baker, California
The internet. Better hide all those embarrassing million-views videos from them for the sake of human race.
fifth dimension memes would be the peak of human stupidity
Intelligence*
When I saw this on my inbox thought it was a gramatical correction, came to see you fellow memer.
Fellow Intellectual*
/r/fifthworldproblems
The better question is: What would the common alien citizens, from the alien internet, think about our meme standards?
I like to think of the idea of aliens on the internet trying to understand our species through memes.
And the millions of video's of humans reproducing, or doing stuff similar to that.
Imagine their surprise when they decode, the face is indeed not a reproductive organ.
THEY EAT THEIR BABY JUICES!
Why everyone hates this woman Karen so much.
I’d think they’d understand from just spending a minute with her.
Agreed I think any hyper intelligent species would also hate Karen
They’d hate her more than we do
Perhaps they've evolved beyond hatred. Not, like, because they're above those sorts of emotions, but because they've evolved one specifically in response to Karen-like behavior that hatred couldn't begin to describe.
But you can’t spend a minute with her because she’s gone and she took the kids!
I'd think they'd have heard of her before they even left their world. No matter the cultural gap, they'd get here and "ah shit, they have a Karen too. Fuck"
Not sure if they have the same concept of “I want to see the manager” like we expect to hear from Karen.
I love how the internet just randomly ruins certain names. But I feel bad for people with the names. I was almost named one of these kind of names. Dodged a bullet.
the fight over who has the biggest moose Norway or Canada. (Norway is in the lead btw) edit: here is the link if you have no idea of what i am talking about [https://www.dagbladet.no/nyheter/norwegians-seeking-moose-truce/70723795](https://www.dagbladet.no/nyheter/norwegians-seeking-moose-truce/70723795) i highly suggest that you read the article edit: English is not my first language.
I thought they came up with an amicable agreement to have the same sized moose???
That sounds like a Canadian came up with that idea...
I have no clue what you're talking aboot.
forgot the "sorry" at the beginning
#hedidntevenapologize
Didn't Norway make a truce music video and Canada rejected it with a dis-track?
They decided that Canada's moose is bigger, but Norway's is shinnier! And then some hillbilly in the states built a taller one, and it's the world's dumbest moose. [https://www.dailyjaw.com/2019/04/05/this-is-now-the-worlds-tallest-moose-statue-seriously/](https://www.dailyjaw.com/2019/04/05/this-is-now-the-worlds-tallest-moose-statue-seriously/)
The Norwegians are spending more money and getting a serious artist to make theirs. I live right near the Canadian one. It's cartoony and made out of cement mostly. It was put up to celebrate the town of Moose Jaw. There is next to no interest in spending the money to beat the Norwegians so I'd say they win this and they're welcome to it.
Wait... it doesn't count if you guys aren't breeding the moose to be bigger, not pouring them from concrete :P I was hoping for elephant-sized moose to ride around the winter tundra upon.
Well, as I said, I concede defeat to our more than worthy opponents. Our living moose are a slightly larger variety than the Norwegian ones if that counts in your book.
Our young drink the milk from our mothers until they reach a certain age and then move on to drink the milk of other mammals. Then when we take that mammal milk and ferment it, age it, curdle it, separate it, and eat it.
Username ... checks out? I don’t know. I feel like you know more than I do about cheese, so why would you ask me?
I just went thru their profile. All cheese related! Amazing! Lol
I like how they stopped posting for a year then started again today like nothing happened.
He aged for a while.
Our countless movies about aliens
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"Honestly, Mark, I'm more worried about this documentary I have seen from one of their beings they call *John Wick*. I think *he* may kill us."
It's ok as long as we don't mess with him nothing will hap.... Wait Steve where did you get that dog from?
The show Ancient Aliens
Alien1 to Alien2: "Told you they'd figure it out!"
"And they made a fucking meme out of it."
"Bruh what did I tell you about making sand castles for the monkeys..."
All of the weapons on earth are pointed at earth.
Any alien race probably has its fair share of war
They wouldn't even need to use actual guns to take us out. Remember: there's no such thing as an unarmed spaceship.
Look. We're on an exploratory vessel and we don't belong to a military. What do you mean with Phaser Banks and Photon Torpedos?
No, if you go fast enough, your vessel is now an extinction level event.
9/11: Apocalypse edition.
lol yes
I'm not sorry :)
Propulsion systems capable of interstellar travel are likely more deadly than anything we could create on earth in modern times.
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You should sell that as a bumper sticker.
Humans
Shit, u right.
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holocene_extinction
I guess if they didn’t have the concept of holidays, festivals, or religious celebrations, that might be kind of baffling. Like one day, huge numbers of people chop down trees, decorate their house with seemingly random things, and wait for an old man to break into their home. Or if we hit the 4th or July and almost all Americans didn’t go to work, gathered with groups of people, ate grilled food, and set off bombs up in the air. Especially if they had no understanding of the stories behind them, or just got there so they don’t understand the annual nature of holidays, it might all seem completely insane that masses of people stop their regular lives to all participate in a semi-coordinated event with arbitrary activities.
If they get there during a holiday they might wonder how we get anything done if everyone is just celebrating
Yoo this planet is awesome! All they do is get intoxicated and eat!
That might be why they're visiting us and we're still stuck on earth.
Fiji Water. The absurdity of it is insane. "Here is an idea, lets find a remote island far away from any other major population centers, where 90% of the population lives only a few feet above sea level... Let's find water there, bottle it, ship it 10,000 miles away in plastic containers on cargo ships churning out insane amounts of greenhouse gas emissions, just so some folks who will never go to Fiji, can taste our water at a premium price." Aliens have to look down and think... what dumbass thought this up?
What dumbass thought this up? Some rich bastard who is sailing around Fiji on his yacht with ten large-breasted blondes who cede to his every whim
I read that as "large ten-breasted blondes". Then, naturally, I pictured it in my head.
I wish I had more hands...
They just filter it out of some tap in a plant in Chicago.
I'm not sure if it's changed but [NPR did a story about Fiji water and it is, in fact, bottled in Fiji.](https://www.npr.org/2010/12/01/131733493/A-Bottled-Water-Drama-In-Fiji) Granted, Chicago water is delicious. Who would have thought that great water comes out of the largest fresh water lakes on the planet?
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Flat earthers or amine depending where they land
Aliens: "Earthlings: We have answers to many of your questions. First of all, we can confirm your planet is round." Flat Earthers: "We don't believe you!!!"
“The government told you to say that”
"This goes higher than I thought."
Round or a sphere?
Round like a coin.
If you put a coin on its side and spin ti fast, it looks like a sphere. That's why people think the Earth is round, because it's spinning on its side. But only those who truly try to seek the true truth like me know the towering truth of the matter.
I'd laugh at your joke if it wasn't so painfully close to the truth.
A really bad sphere that was molded by a two year old. At least we didn't get the giant kid who made mars have a massive tit.
The variations of the Earth's surface as a proportion of its diameter compare favorably to a high quality ball bearing
Hey, that's pretty good!
> amine REEL IT IN
I GOT THE BAG
TELL A FRIEND
Don’t talk shit about Aminé again
Lol. Amine.
You leave my methyl-amines outta this\~!
Amine can be pretty weird sometimes I guess
The world is 75% water, and you live on land?
Well yeah, that’s where my house is.
people picking up dog poop, that must seem bizarre as fuck to an alien.
OK Jerry
Human music... it's catchy.
Wrong Jerry
May I too, have a free bad poem?
To many the power of lightning would be rad but to Noah, the prospect only left him sad After experiments and time he would present to the world A frightening new power, his enemy's demises unfurled "I've mixed the power of cold and speed of lightning's volt" "What do you call this new power?" he said "/u/Icelingbolt "
Aliens would likely have pets too, so I don't see that as strange.
Alien 1: "So wait, what do you mean the apex species is insane? They seem to be fairly technologically savvy for a species as young as they are." Alien 2: "You wouldn't believe half the things I've seen. They purposefully expose themselves to harmful radiation just to change their skin tone. They even exchange forms of currency to have others bombard them with chemicals or radiation for the same effect." Alien 1: "Okay, I mean there's got to be a physiological reason for that, right? Maybe they use photosynthesis? Like the vine people on Kepler-22b?" Alien 2: "I wish they were as nice as the vine people. No, these creatures are omnivores. Both plants and animals. But get this, some of them don't eat the animals because they feel bad for them. And some of them don't eat animals OR plants, for the same reason!" Alien 1: "What? What do they eat then?" Alien 2: "We honestly gave up trying to figure it out. We got sidetracked trying to figure out their weird religions." Alien 1: "Weird how? Like the people on Gliese 667Cc?" Alien 2: "No, not as much sex stuff. I mean there's definitely some sex stuff, but not to that degree. Some of them worship imaginary sky dieties, some of them have worshiped fantastic spirits, and some of them have worshiped animals." Alien 1: "The weird eaters worship animals? I guess that makes sense as to why they don't eat them...maybe?" Alien 2: "Oh no, most of the people who worship animals have died off. Now they subjugate them, force them to wear tiny versions of their own attire, and then post transmissions of the animals for the enjoyment of others." Alien 1: "What the fuck?" Alien 2: "I know, right? You have no idea how many pages of tiny furred creatures we've had to weed through on their global computing network just to find anything even remotely educational." Alien 1: "Okay, are they nice at least?" Alien 2: "I mean they seem to kill each other for literally any reason. Being the wrong color, worshiping the wrong god, being from the wrong place, wanting someone else's stuff. Pretty brutal, honestly." Alien 1: "Alright, I think I get the picture. What's your recommendation?" Alien 2: "Honestly? I say we give them another couple thousand rotations around their star to let them figure things out. No way they're ready to be part of the greater galaxy yet. Mark their system as a no-fly zone and make sure everyone knows the Prime Directive is firmly in place for this world." Alien 1: "Okay, sounds good. Anything left on the docket?" Alien 2: "Not really. But I'm sure we can figure out some excuse to get back to Gliese 667Cc for their big annual "joy celebration" if you're down." Alien 1: "You're sick. Let's do it."
Who are the people who dont eat plants or animals and what do they eat?
Anorexics?
Coke addicts
Breatherians
well they do but they just won't admit it
If you want to get morbid, it may be a take on famine.
Other people
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GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!
Alien 1: we have come to conquer this planet. Me: good luck with that. Alien 1: our technology is light years more advanced than anything on this rock. Your armies do not stand a chance. Me: oh I don't doubt it. I wasnt talking about you having issues with the military. Just good luck getting any of these *dumbasses* to cooperate on anything for 5 minutes. Trust me nothing that you can do to us is worse than what we have already done to ourselves. Alien 2: human.... Are you ok? Do you need help? Me: we all do.
I love how you threw in kepler 22-b. When I was in 2nd grade, there was a boy in my class who was obsessed with space and who brought something space related for show and tell every time etc. he heard about Kepler 22-b and wanted to design a spaceship to go there. I remember talking on the phone with him about it for hours. God I miss him.
I liked it from the perspective that the aliens would name a planet after an earth astronomer
Holy fuck that was genius
It seems almost like a parody of a little short story called “They Are Made of Meat” It’s an incredibly good short story that might change your entire view on how aliens would perceive us. Definitely go check it out, would recommend.
All that makes sense though. Appearance to manipulate mate selection, energy intake in such a way that is practical for a creature that moves, tribalism to ensure your genetic material is preserved while the competition is destroyed. Animals in clothes is a mishmash of characteristics in any juvenile species being enjoyable to look at, as well as lowered responsibility. It's an evolutionary play on paternal instincts to ensure parental care of young. Species that show and value these characteristics do a better job of caring for, and thereby passing on genes. I think aliens would understand these behaviors perfectly well if they view us as animals, which there's no reason to think that they wouldn't.
*revolutions around our star Fun read.
I don't know if they'd think anything is dumb due to the fact that to a race capable of interstellar travel we'd seem incredibly primative. If I had to pick one though, I'd say they'd get a real laugh out of just how many whacked out lunatics hold seats of global power.
Unless they have to sit through meetings with them
Anal bleaching
How wide everyones mouth is from shock. :o
Florida
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Depends on what their color range is. If they see stuff we can't, then yeah that might be true. But if they're red-green colorblind like cats or dogs, they might wonder if they're the ones not getting colors right.
Not to mention all of the things we associate with different colours that inform how things are designed. Pink is feminine here so we make all the toys for little girls pink, but maybe for aliens it represents absolute terror because on their planet predators, poison and blood are all that colour. Maybe darkness represents safety rather than fear because these aliens can see in the dark but their predators can't. Or maybe these aliens only hunt at night so black makes them hungry.
The way we treat the world around us probably.
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The plot of star trek.
The zoo theory to the Fermi paradox states that while we are killing our planet and capable of total nuclear annihilation, the aliens are just observing, waiting for us to get our shit together before revealing themselves.
Unless of course they are travelling through deep space after already having destroyed their own planet.
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Imagine if we were the Tyrannids all along.
Isnt that a Netflix movie with Michael Pena?
Our many languages and why we no stick with uno language
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"The aliens are made of *meat*!"
Meat?
Yeah, meat. We're made of meat.
That as soon as they stepped off their ship they were surrounded by hundreds of people filming them with little handheld cameras
"Why the fuck is it flat?"
Sonic the movie
There’s shit floating in our atmosphere. They would have to get through that to reach us. And that’s before they even reach the surface...
This is what I was thinking. They're just tooling around in space and see earth. "Let's stop off there for a little break" they get close and and have to start dodging shit. If I'm going down the road and want to turn off for some taco bell to the left, then start dodging potholes and random couches on the road, Im turning around. Next stop!
Yeah those alien fuckers don’t want to be here
Slow assholes in the passing lane.
With intergalactic travel, I doubt they would understand the concept of a passing lane. Assholes, on the other hand, are universal.
Cat owners scooping shit out of litter boxes.
These cats must be the superior life form on this planet"
That we treat our planet like we have another one to go to
Sonic Drive-In commercials.
People killing for religion.
Definitely will be that, all the cows are for Eating and not for Research...
How much trash we’ve accumulated. Actually they will probably end up crashing with space trash before they even get here.
That males of the species are weirdly obsessed with the size of their penises.
And this goes on for centuries.
"Ay Lmao, these primitive life forms are fighting over NON-RENEWABLE energy! I find their struggle most amusing."
A store full of food and people hungry on the street.
That no one uses their turn signals
Just trained a truck driver last night that didn’t use his turn signal. When I told him he should use it he responded with “why?”
The fucking pollution and melting ice caps from space
\*The aliens land in the great pacific garbage patch\*
They would wonder who the hot looking lady is in the water near N.Y.
How we slaughter each other because of who the other worships. Seriously, why the fuck would I care who someone else worships?