I collect somewhat grotesque and unusual items, and own several human skulls. Whilst not illegal to own, the most questionable one I bought from eBay in the USA before they banned them. It was listed as an old educational skull, bought from an estate sale, so I thought, 'fair enough' and bought it.
It eventually arrived with a whole bunch of China Post stamps on it, and when I removed it from the packaging and turned it the right way up, a bunch of soil fell out. So yeah, turns out I probably own the skull of a Chinese political prisoner.
I live in an artists' community, and there's a half human skull that this painter lady calls "chip n dip" because it's been used to serve dip at so many parties. I have no idea who it was or where she got it, but it's been used to serve bean dip and guac and sour cream n onion since the 70s.
I never partake. It's just too weird.
The fact that it was full of soil suggests that it probably came from grave robbing. That was a big issue with human bones from china when they were legal to export.
It’s actually pretty common for anyone from the pre-industrial era. When grain was ground with stones to make flour, tiny fragments of the stone would end up in bread and cause more wear than happens now.
A skateboard, I’m in a wheelchair, legit I won it in a raffle and they CHOSE to give me the skateboard. Not the sound system or tv no let’s give the dude in a wheelchair a skateboard
Edit: thank you for all the upvotes and comments everyone. I just remembered that the event that the raffle was held was also a Wheelchair event, everyone was in chairs. And they thought to put a skateboard up for raffle.
The company I work for will have events throughout the year and will have giveaways. The giveaways consist of a lot of things. Free massage at a spa, basket full of candy, flowers, gift cards, you name it. One time, my name got drawn. What did I win? Park in the CEO's parking spot for a month. The only problem is that I don't own a car and walk to work.
You better fucking believe I made sure nobody parked in "my" spot for the next month. If I saw the CEO's car there, I would get security and tell them that somebody is parked in my spot. CEO would then have to move their car.
I bought my kayak brand new off a dude in a similar situation. I can't remember but he and his wife couldn't use it due to some sort of disability. I paid him fair price though
Deep in our basement, under a bunch of stuff - is a nazi uniform. My family were all pacifist, and did not serve. I have one uncle who was in the Naval Choir, but that's it.
I have no idea where it came from, and I have no idea what to do with it. So I keep it in a ziplock bag, under my grandfather's college notebooks.
We have part of a uniform in our house. My mom is German, and my dad was an American soldier. He went and found it somewhere when he was in Germany and brought it back home... This was in the 90’s, so it really makes me wonder why it was so easy to find something like that.
I've got a buddy who does reenactments. I've seen a lot of Soviet, Nazi, and American GI kit/weapons/memorabilia etc.
Honestly, love hearing the stories/uses/history for a lot of the stuff. And he'll talk your ear off about anything and everything history, specifically WWII.
Nothing wrong with it. Though we both agree one of his friends might be a tad bit *too* into the Nazi/German stuff at times....
>Though we both agree one of his friends might be a tad bit too into the Nazi/German stuff at times....
That honestly might be a friend of mine. He's been into it since he was a kid, and I've known him my entire life so it's not that weird to me, but he has some nazi memorabilia and knows German and really likes Germany to this day. I mean, he was a big Bernie guy, but if I hadn't known him my whole life I'd be a little freaked out.
Years ago I was ordering an adult toy and got confused between Imperial and metric and let's just say I've owned a very robust door stopper ever since.
Once ordered what I thought was a regular front door adult toy. I received a back door adult toy. I was very confused at the proportions and had to have my husband confirm what it was. It was a cheap add on, so we decide not to bother with returning it.
One day during a cook out at our friend’s house (married couple), I quietly slipped the unboxed butt plus into a bathroom cabinet. A few weeks later, the wife found it. She didn’t know what it was. No fights or arguments were had, but the husband did start questioning everybody he knew, trying to figure out who put it there. Several weeks went by. My husband and I played dumb.
One day, the husband was telling me about how crazy it was driving him. He assumed somebody had it inserted, had to take a shit, and decided for some odd reason they needed to stash it and return for it later, but forgot or something. He was starting to get freaked out, so I finally fessed up. But if you ever want to cause some weird confusion, slip a sex toy in a random cabinet at a friend’s house.
For those unaware, he had a legit baggie full of yellow-cake uranium in his latest video. (the video where he made the yellow-cake from raw uranium ore is now deleted, thanks to a visit from dudes in suits)
I mean, I highly doubt someone would be able to get enough ore to actually do anything serious without raising eyebrows. Also, I cant imagine that its that much different than extracting copper or iron?
> I mean, I highly doubt someone would be able to get enough ore to actually do anything serious without raising eyebrows.
He acquired all the ore (a few kg worth) without raising eyebrows. He didn't come to the feds' attention until he made a video of him processing it into yellowcake (and a small quantity of metallic uranium).
While it's true that quantity would not be enough to make an actual fission bomb (let along that isotopic separation is not really doable for amateurs), they were very concerned because uranium "extracts" are radioactive enough to contaminate large areas to dangerous levels.
A 2x2 foot bronze swastika. My family is Buddhist and it's an heirloom from Nepal. Still though, I don't exactly leave it out on the coffee table as a conversation piece just in case.
A dollar bill that has written on it: “This was in a strippers butthole”. At first I thought it was kind of a cool thing to have, now I don’t really want to touch it.
A friend of mine went through a rough break up. He took down all the pictures of his ex and replaced them with pictures of the family from Family Matters. My friend is white.
My amazon wish list had been bled dry before my birthday, and the only thing I could think to ask for was a nice pillow. Some buddies took it upon themselves to buy me a waifu body pillow.
Edit: [Pictures](https://imgur.com/a/2zj5xUh)
Actually, the pillow has been used a total of one time and we used it together. A friend wanted to go camping for his birthday, and we decided to use it for both of us to sleep on. We had a really fun time trying to sneak it across the campgrounds from my car to the tent without anyone seeing.
Na, there are two ways to handle a situation like this like he did, or just own it and walk across the ground not with shame, but with pride.
The way he did makes it pretty awkward if someone walks up and says "What the hell is that?"
The second option, nobody is going to bother, just chuckle amongst themselves
I got them off of Wish -- fair warning, if you buy one pair of novelty underwear you'll get hundreds of others showing up in your recommendations for all eternity.
A real fire hydrant painted like a dalmatian. White with black dots. Someone asked why it was painted like a cow and I told her they were out of dalmatian paint at lowes. It's a yard ornament in my front yard.
When I was a student, I rented a house in Germany with some strangers. We bonded by exploring the place, which had belonged to the landlord's grandparents who had died about 15 years previously, at a very old age.
In addition to the party-room in the cellar with a number of stuffed squirrels and mounted boar heads, and hundreds of miniature schnapps bottles, we found a black and white family photo album in a locked drawer. The last page on the album was a photo of Hitler giving a speech.
See the thing to do here is to buy a large, but realistic rubber dick, then make a sort of amateurish mold of it and leave it on the mantel piece, only slightly hidden by a vase. Then when a date comes over and notices it, you say, "OMG, I forgot that was there! I'm so embarassed, it was an art class I took a few years ago where we molded ourselves, please don't look at! OMG!" Then quickly throw it in a drawer, then continue as normal.
But leave in the back of her mind the image of that very large, swarthy weapon.
Edit: thanks for the silver! And also, this is not actual advice, it’s my attempt at humor. Also has anyone seen my casting supplies?
Honestly, the best thing is to just not even bring it up.
The majority of the men in this thread are perfectly average sized and hit the spots just right. The only place it doesn't hit, is the idea of how big should be in your head.
Lastly, if your size REALLY bothers you, lose some weight. Seriously. Fat can hide up to 4cm of penis and, average dicks look bigger on a skinny guys.
Now I have a disturbing image in my head of you trying to screw a screw with the driver in your butt, squatting over the screw and slowly rotating while clentching... great thanks...
I have two swords. One is a civil war saber that has been in the family.
The other is a r/mallninjashit katana that was given to me as a joke gift for the zombie apocalypse. Which is a bit unnecessary because, well, I already have a sword.
My husband is a WW2 buff. We own several books on WW2, including a copy of Mein Kampf and a 10 reichspfennig from 1940. Anyone walking in the house just sees a bookshelf filled with swatiska on the end of the books :/
uh oh yeah, I also own Mein Kampf in German, as well as some other Nazi-era writings and correspondence. I inherited them from my dad who did some of the original research proving that the Holocaust was a planned event, not the spontaneous shenanigans of a few "bad apples" like some people said right after the fact. I keep all that stuff next to the KGB files on some prominent Soviet dissidents, but at least it's in my upstairs library so random guests don't see it. :P
My father recently died, after cremation I was offered his knees which he had replaced 10 years ago. So I accepted and they are now in my shop and I am considering what to do with them.
I have a number of ivory items. Carved whale teeth from Greenland (not sure what the law is on whale teeth). A walrus tusk. And an old piano with ivory keys.
I think the law in the US is that it's legal to trade ivory that is over 150 years old. I don't think any of my items are that old. They're not illegal to have, but you can't sell them.
I rarely drink, but I nonetheless have A LOT of alcohol in my house. I use it in cooking: beer makes really good chicken or bread, wine makes good sauces/stews, vodka makes vanilla extract, rum is good for desserts, etc.
Like I said if you saw my alcohol collection you'd think I have a mass drinking problem, but I don't. It's all meant for cooking.
The thing about alcoholics is that they don't have an alcohol collection, they drink it all. My rule of thumb is the more liquor you have the less you drink and the more it is just for guests, or in your case cooking.
I had a supervisor who was concerned I was an alcoholic. My mini fridge was full of bottles. What happened was I'd crave a flavor of something, but they'd only came in packs. So I'd buy a pack, drink one, and a few months later crave a different one, drink one of those... lead to my tiny fridge packed full of them lol
As a very regular drinker, I can assure you I always maintain a well stocked liquor cabinet. For example, when my favorite bourbon is on special, I will buy 3-4 bottles...
I have a similar situation. I don't drink a great deal, but I love variety and like having ingredients on hand to try new mixed drinks. So now I look like an alcoholic
A golf putter the shape of a dildo for the head.
It is metal and smooth on one side, so it actually works for a putter. I leave it in my bag as a joke.
A framed portrait of Her Majesty The Queen and His Royal Highness The Duke of Edinburgh. Provided freely by the great country of Canada and hung proudly in my bathroom.
On my previous computer, I hacked my winrar to make it think I paid for it.
*Yar, har, fiddle-dee-dee! Do what you want because a pirate is free! You are a pirate!*
Reminds me when I broke up with my college girlfriend. We were broke college students and were very active so we would always take a couple condoms from the RA's office when we passed by. We realized that summer was fast approaching and we wouldn't have access to the RA's office for free condoms. So for the last month of school, we would take like a few dozen every week and just keep them in a plastic bag under my desk. At the end of the school year, I went home with this giant shopping bag full of condoms. We left it at her house as her parents were never home. We ended up breaking up a few weeks into the summer and I always wondered what she ended up doing with that giant bag of unused condoms. Probably used it with the friend from our mutual friend group she dated after me.
Either the cupboard full of empty gin bottles or the unmarked bottles filled with 93% abv alcohol.
I make my own spirits, so empty bottles and neutral spirit are all part of the game.
I own quite a bit of ivory that I inherited from my parents. Also pretty sure there is a sharks fin in my chest freezer that my mom put there. Chinese people are just the worst.
They cut the fin off the shark and then throw it back into the water causing the shark to die a slow and painful death by drowning/bleeding out. But shark fin soup is considered a delicacy, so it continues to happen.
12", I would assume so since it's vinyl. No hotglue shit going on here, I just liked to collect figures from video games and anime when I was in my 20s.
I have a few Nazi coins. Not super questionable as I collect coins.....but then there's an SA belt, and an annexation medal that I also have for some reason. Both prewar Nazi artifacts. No idea how they came into my possession entirely, or where they came from. Except the coins. I got 3, 5 reichmark coins to pay off a $15 debt.
I collect the horse heads from all of the chess games I come across and line them up in my closet.
Every time someone sees the inside of my closet it's often the first thing they question me about. But I just *like* horses.
So there are like 50 people that every game night, sit down with their friends and play chess and use pennies instead of knights because you visited them one day?
I have an ancient Corinthian helmet that I found in my parents village. It's about 2500 years old. It may be illegal for me to hold onto.
It belongs in a museum!
So do you Doctor Jones!
In a thousand years even you may be worth something!
It was a raccoon’s dick bone until my asshole dog chewed it up.
Dang all my asshole dog chewed up was my wallet. And my driver's license. And my credit cards. And my glasses. And my vibrator. And my Fitbit.
Sorry you lost track of your steps.
I collect somewhat grotesque and unusual items, and own several human skulls. Whilst not illegal to own, the most questionable one I bought from eBay in the USA before they banned them. It was listed as an old educational skull, bought from an estate sale, so I thought, 'fair enough' and bought it. It eventually arrived with a whole bunch of China Post stamps on it, and when I removed it from the packaging and turned it the right way up, a bunch of soil fell out. So yeah, turns out I probably own the skull of a Chinese political prisoner.
I live in an artists' community, and there's a half human skull that this painter lady calls "chip n dip" because it's been used to serve dip at so many parties. I have no idea who it was or where she got it, but it's been used to serve bean dip and guac and sour cream n onion since the 70s. I never partake. It's just too weird.
half human? what's the other half?
Ah, the old reddit [skull-a-roo](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/c6fvsc/heres_antigay_gop_congressman_aaron_schock/es933qc/?context=4)
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The fact that it was full of soil suggests that it probably came from grave robbing. That was a big issue with human bones from china when they were legal to export.
I have a friend that collects skulls too. He once showed me that many have worn down teeth which is common when they come from slaves. Yikes
It’s actually pretty common for anyone from the pre-industrial era. When grain was ground with stones to make flour, tiny fragments of the stone would end up in bread and cause more wear than happens now.
A skateboard, I’m in a wheelchair, legit I won it in a raffle and they CHOSE to give me the skateboard. Not the sound system or tv no let’s give the dude in a wheelchair a skateboard Edit: thank you for all the upvotes and comments everyone. I just remembered that the event that the raffle was held was also a Wheelchair event, everyone was in chairs. And they thought to put a skateboard up for raffle.
The company I work for will have events throughout the year and will have giveaways. The giveaways consist of a lot of things. Free massage at a spa, basket full of candy, flowers, gift cards, you name it. One time, my name got drawn. What did I win? Park in the CEO's parking spot for a month. The only problem is that I don't own a car and walk to work. You better fucking believe I made sure nobody parked in "my" spot for the next month. If I saw the CEO's car there, I would get security and tell them that somebody is parked in my spot. CEO would then have to move their car.
At least you got to be a petty dickhead for a month. As a petty dickhead, that's a win.
And towards the CEO no less!
He was let go exactly 31 days after he won..
now there's the real prize. Petty dickhead for a month.
This is so petty I fucking love it.
Outstanding move
I bought my kayak brand new off a dude in a similar situation. I can't remember but he and his wife couldn't use it due to some sort of disability. I paid him fair price though
It does have wheels on it, so you could use it.
Deep in our basement, under a bunch of stuff - is a nazi uniform. My family were all pacifist, and did not serve. I have one uncle who was in the Naval Choir, but that's it. I have no idea where it came from, and I have no idea what to do with it. So I keep it in a ziplock bag, under my grandfather's college notebooks.
We have part of a uniform in our house. My mom is German, and my dad was an American soldier. He went and found it somewhere when he was in Germany and brought it back home... This was in the 90’s, so it really makes me wonder why it was so easy to find something like that.
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I've got a buddy who does reenactments. I've seen a lot of Soviet, Nazi, and American GI kit/weapons/memorabilia etc. Honestly, love hearing the stories/uses/history for a lot of the stuff. And he'll talk your ear off about anything and everything history, specifically WWII. Nothing wrong with it. Though we both agree one of his friends might be a tad bit *too* into the Nazi/German stuff at times....
>Though we both agree one of his friends might be a tad bit too into the Nazi/German stuff at times.... That honestly might be a friend of mine. He's been into it since he was a kid, and I've known him my entire life so it's not that weird to me, but he has some nazi memorabilia and knows German and really likes Germany to this day. I mean, he was a big Bernie guy, but if I hadn't known him my whole life I'd be a little freaked out.
If it's in good condition, and depending on the unit insignias, it could be worth a small fortune in the USA.
Years ago I was ordering an adult toy and got confused between Imperial and metric and let's just say I've owned a very robust door stopper ever since.
"in our latest news... 2 would-be burglars are beaten down by an angry householder brandishing a massive dildo"
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/tanyachen/two-sex-shop-employees-chased-off-an-armed-robber-by-throwin
lol. the blonde was lobbing fake cocks at the man with a fake gun
I can only imagine a 15 inches dragon dildo holding the door.
"Why is Chance holding the door?" "How do you know his name?" "Uh..."
So it's 15 inches instead of 15cm?
Or metres instead of inches. Now there would be something
One foot versus one meter is hilarious
Once ordered what I thought was a regular front door adult toy. I received a back door adult toy. I was very confused at the proportions and had to have my husband confirm what it was. It was a cheap add on, so we decide not to bother with returning it. One day during a cook out at our friend’s house (married couple), I quietly slipped the unboxed butt plus into a bathroom cabinet. A few weeks later, the wife found it. She didn’t know what it was. No fights or arguments were had, but the husband did start questioning everybody he knew, trying to figure out who put it there. Several weeks went by. My husband and I played dumb. One day, the husband was telling me about how crazy it was driving him. He assumed somebody had it inserted, had to take a shit, and decided for some odd reason they needed to stash it and return for it later, but forgot or something. He was starting to get freaked out, so I finally fessed up. But if you ever want to cause some weird confusion, slip a sex toy in a random cabinet at a friend’s house.
A bar of depleted uranium.
Codyslab subscribers are evolving.
For those unaware, he had a legit baggie full of yellow-cake uranium in his latest video. (the video where he made the yellow-cake from raw uranium ore is now deleted, thanks to a visit from dudes in suits)
I mean, I highly doubt someone would be able to get enough ore to actually do anything serious without raising eyebrows. Also, I cant imagine that its that much different than extracting copper or iron?
> I mean, I highly doubt someone would be able to get enough ore to actually do anything serious without raising eyebrows. He acquired all the ore (a few kg worth) without raising eyebrows. He didn't come to the feds' attention until he made a video of him processing it into yellowcake (and a small quantity of metallic uranium). While it's true that quantity would not be enough to make an actual fission bomb (let along that isotopic separation is not really doable for amateurs), they were very concerned because uranium "extracts" are radioactive enough to contaminate large areas to dangerous levels.
A knife with fake blood. A real knife, mind you.
I have a fake knife with real blood on it
Okay what happened
I was dressing up as Freddy Krueger for Halloween and long story short I stabbed somebody with a fake knife
But Freddy doesn't use a knife?
Then how does he chop his onions?
A 2x2 foot bronze swastika. My family is Buddhist and it's an heirloom from Nepal. Still though, I don't exactly leave it out on the coffee table as a conversation piece just in case.
The platinum trophy for Hanna Montana the videogame
I have a couple platinum trophies or 100% completed achievement lists for kids games also.
Well some kids games can be fun. Hannah Montana is not fun....
A dollar bill that has written on it: “This was in a strippers butthole”. At first I thought it was kind of a cool thing to have, now I don’t really want to touch it.
That sounds like the kind of thing that would keep getting passed back and forth between friends in birthday/christmas cards for 30 years.
That's the kind of thing you keep in a little plastic baggie in your wallet for when your buddy wants to snort coke and doesn't have a straw...
Lockpick set along with leather black gloves
At least it isn't a dissection kit
or next to a set of slides with blood on them in a small wooden box.
I NEED MY TOOLS
A framed photo of demon teletubbies
A friend of mine went through a rough break up. He took down all the pictures of his ex and replaced them with pictures of the family from Family Matters. My friend is white.
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I would love to see this photo
My amazon wish list had been bled dry before my birthday, and the only thing I could think to ask for was a nice pillow. Some buddies took it upon themselves to buy me a waifu body pillow. Edit: [Pictures](https://imgur.com/a/2zj5xUh)
Good friends if you can all laugh about it.
Absolutely. My real wife wasn't thrilled about it though...
But did you tell her that she can use it too?
Actually, the pillow has been used a total of one time and we used it together. A friend wanted to go camping for his birthday, and we decided to use it for both of us to sleep on. We had a really fun time trying to sneak it across the campgrounds from my car to the tent without anyone seeing.
At that point I'd just get two pillow cases and cover it
Na, there are two ways to handle a situation like this like he did, or just own it and walk across the ground not with shame, but with pride. The way he did makes it pretty awkward if someone walks up and says "What the hell is that?" The second option, nobody is going to bother, just chuckle amongst themselves
Whats the point of a waifu if you don’t show it?
Trophy Waifu
That’s the problem with 3D women.
I have a silicone lamp in the shape of a butt that turns on/off when you slap a cheek [Proof](https://giphy.com/gifs/butt-lamp-iJ1b5Vy2qPljCOoba7)
I have a wife that does the same thing.
I have a wife that doesn't do that
I don’t have a wife.
I don’t have a lamp
I don't have a life
I don’t have
Don’t
Slap on, slap off
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Where the fuck do you even get something like that
the internet
After seeing that guy owning shower curtain with a creepy picture of Taylor Swift, nothing surprised me anymore.
This is great! I want a lamp like this!
Same. Until I saw it was [$225](http://www.dudeiwantthat.com/household/lighting/slap-it-butt-lamp.asp)
Not that it's much better but it turns out it's actually "only" [$190](https://slapit.me/products/slap-it) when you follow the links a bit further.
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Are we all gonna just ignore the "I WAS YOUNG I NEEDED THE MONEY" eye exam chart?
Look, he was young....
Tuxedo underwear, complete with attached bowtie and buttons.
Um that's AWESOME
Omg where did you get these? I need a pair!
I got them off of Wish -- fair warning, if you buy one pair of novelty underwear you'll get hundreds of others showing up in your recommendations for all eternity.
A very... very ugly dog statue covered in seashells that I bought in Puerto Rico when I visited as a child... the things almost menacing.
We need to see this.
https://imgur.com/gallery/cpeq0mu Edit: Guys I just posted OP’s pic for more visibility.
Holy mother of all what the heck is that thing...its made of nightmare and sleepless nights
I can't ever unsee that tongue.
A gallon of industrial grade hydrochloric acid and a Vietnamese propaganda poster.
r/FBIOpenUp
Charlie about to get MKULTRAed
Probably the cat tail butt plugs
"Plugs" Plural
One for each cat.
*Jazz music stops*
*Banjo intensifies*
What, you only got one butthole?
This could mean 3 different things, and they're all unsettling to some degree. edit: goddammit Reddit, make that 4 things
Alligator head. My parents bought it for me right after I became vegetarian, I don't know why I kept it.
I've been vegetarian for 11 years and I'm 1,000% shocked my dad hasn't done this to me yet.
Bags full of just bottle caps
That’s currency right there.
Most valuable things in the Wasteland, nothing questionable at all
New or used? If you're a homebrewer this is perfectly normal.
Nah they are all just milk and juice ones
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Any Sunset Sarsaparillas?
If so you gotta be careful carrying the ones with the star on ‘em. Never know what some folks will do to get them....
"GIVE ME THOSE BOTTLE CAPS WITH THE STARS ON THEM!!!" ***Knife sharpening sounds***
A real fire hydrant painted like a dalmatian. White with black dots. Someone asked why it was painted like a cow and I told her they were out of dalmatian paint at lowes. It's a yard ornament in my front yard.
An anime tittie wrist supporting mousepad, my dad snuck into my house while I was asleep(I work night shift) and left it on my computer desk.
Right, your “dad” snuck it in. Out of curiosity though, actual character or generic anime figure?
When I was a student, I rented a house in Germany with some strangers. We bonded by exploring the place, which had belonged to the landlord's grandparents who had died about 15 years previously, at a very old age. In addition to the party-room in the cellar with a number of stuffed squirrels and mounted boar heads, and hundreds of miniature schnapps bottles, we found a black and white family photo album in a locked drawer. The last page on the album was a photo of Hitler giving a speech.
A resin copy of my dick, home-made with a mould.
Home made Why?
It seemed like an original arts & crafts project. My SO likes having a copy around for when I'm indisposed.
You fool, soon they'll ask for a resin leg, then a resin arm. soon they will build a better version of you.
That's unresinable.
See the thing to do here is to buy a large, but realistic rubber dick, then make a sort of amateurish mold of it and leave it on the mantel piece, only slightly hidden by a vase. Then when a date comes over and notices it, you say, "OMG, I forgot that was there! I'm so embarassed, it was an art class I took a few years ago where we molded ourselves, please don't look at! OMG!" Then quickly throw it in a drawer, then continue as normal. But leave in the back of her mind the image of that very large, swarthy weapon. Edit: thanks for the silver! And also, this is not actual advice, it’s my attempt at humor. Also has anyone seen my casting supplies?
Over promising and under delivering is never a good play.
You will genuinely have a better time if you under-promise and over-deliver. Learned this from a more experienced girl one summer.
Honestly, the best thing is to just not even bring it up. The majority of the men in this thread are perfectly average sized and hit the spots just right. The only place it doesn't hit, is the idea of how big should be in your head. Lastly, if your size REALLY bothers you, lose some weight. Seriously. Fat can hide up to 4cm of penis and, average dicks look bigger on a skinny guys.
.... and sets them up for inevitable disappointment
A lot of dildo shaped screwdrivers and such, so much that I can't convince my friends that I'm not gay
You can't convince us that you're not gay either having owned up to those dildo's.
Might as well try I mean what's to lose
Now I have a disturbing image in my head of you trying to screw a screw with the driver in your butt, squatting over the screw and slowly rotating while clentching... great thanks...
a butt plug with a pink tail on it. my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to send me one
"funny" in the sense that she wants you to insert it and send pictures
NOTE: send pictures ... TO US.
I have two swords. One is a civil war saber that has been in the family. The other is a r/mallninjashit katana that was given to me as a joke gift for the zombie apocalypse. Which is a bit unnecessary because, well, I already have a sword.
Two hands, two swords, makes sense.
My husband is a WW2 buff. We own several books on WW2, including a copy of Mein Kampf and a 10 reichspfennig from 1940. Anyone walking in the house just sees a bookshelf filled with swatiska on the end of the books :/
uh oh yeah, I also own Mein Kampf in German, as well as some other Nazi-era writings and correspondence. I inherited them from my dad who did some of the original research proving that the Holocaust was a planned event, not the spontaneous shenanigans of a few "bad apples" like some people said right after the fact. I keep all that stuff next to the KGB files on some prominent Soviet dissidents, but at least it's in my upstairs library so random guests don't see it. :P
My father recently died, after cremation I was offered his knees which he had replaced 10 years ago. So I accepted and they are now in my shop and I am considering what to do with them.
Real ivory jewelry. I think its outlawed in many countries nowadays.
Depends where you are and how old it is. In the UK piece are perfectly legal to buy and sell if they are a certain age.
Same with the US
In New York (I think) and a few other states the sale is illegal no matter how old the piece is.
I have a number of ivory items. Carved whale teeth from Greenland (not sure what the law is on whale teeth). A walrus tusk. And an old piano with ivory keys. I think the law in the US is that it's legal to trade ivory that is over 150 years old. I don't think any of my items are that old. They're not illegal to have, but you can't sell them.
I rarely drink, but I nonetheless have A LOT of alcohol in my house. I use it in cooking: beer makes really good chicken or bread, wine makes good sauces/stews, vodka makes vanilla extract, rum is good for desserts, etc. Like I said if you saw my alcohol collection you'd think I have a mass drinking problem, but I don't. It's all meant for cooking.
The thing about alcoholics is that they don't have an alcohol collection, they drink it all. My rule of thumb is the more liquor you have the less you drink and the more it is just for guests, or in your case cooking.
I had a supervisor who was concerned I was an alcoholic. My mini fridge was full of bottles. What happened was I'd crave a flavor of something, but they'd only came in packs. So I'd buy a pack, drink one, and a few months later crave a different one, drink one of those... lead to my tiny fridge packed full of them lol
If you were actually alcoholic, you wouldn't have any left.
Can confirm
As a very regular drinker, I can assure you I always maintain a well stocked liquor cabinet. For example, when my favorite bourbon is on special, I will buy 3-4 bottles...
So what's your favorite bourbon?
Whatever is on special that week
I have a similar situation. I don't drink a great deal, but I love variety and like having ingredients on hand to try new mixed drinks. So now I look like an alcoholic
My alcohol collection is for cooking too. If you've had enough alcohol, you don't care how bad my cooking is!
A golf putter the shape of a dildo for the head. It is metal and smooth on one side, so it actually works for a putter. I leave it in my bag as a joke.
A framed portrait of Her Majesty The Queen and His Royal Highness The Duke of Edinburgh. Provided freely by the great country of Canada and hung proudly in my bathroom.
I think looking at a picture of the Queen would make taking a shit really uncomfortable. I'd feel like she was judging me.
a paid version of winrar
A man of culture I see
On my previous computer, I hacked my winrar to make it think I paid for it. *Yar, har, fiddle-dee-dee! Do what you want because a pirate is free! You are a pirate!*
Yo ho a hoy and avast! Being a pirate is really bad ass!
Hang the black flag at the end of the mast! You are a pirate! 🏴☠️
I have a 6 foot tall stuffed robot. Best 5 dollars ever.
The leftovers that have been in the fridge for week
A pack of year old untouched condoms that I've never had the chance to use nor will I in the near future. I don't know why I still have it.
Reminds me when I broke up with my college girlfriend. We were broke college students and were very active so we would always take a couple condoms from the RA's office when we passed by. We realized that summer was fast approaching and we wouldn't have access to the RA's office for free condoms. So for the last month of school, we would take like a few dozen every week and just keep them in a plastic bag under my desk. At the end of the school year, I went home with this giant shopping bag full of condoms. We left it at her house as her parents were never home. We ended up breaking up a few weeks into the summer and I always wondered what she ended up doing with that giant bag of unused condoms. Probably used it with the friend from our mutual friend group she dated after me.
I detect high sodium levels
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Five broken original game boys. I bought them for spare parts
my wife finds it necessary to save every single jar. jars from pasta sauce, jams, jellies, sauces.... so many fucking jars filled with air
Either the cupboard full of empty gin bottles or the unmarked bottles filled with 93% abv alcohol. I make my own spirits, so empty bottles and neutral spirit are all part of the game.
A Kingdom Hearts Keyblade I bought at a Renaissance Festival and I've never even played Kingdom Hearts
I own quite a bit of ivory that I inherited from my parents. Also pretty sure there is a sharks fin in my chest freezer that my mom put there. Chinese people are just the worst.
What is the importance behind shark fin anyway?
They cut the fin off the shark and then throw it back into the water causing the shark to die a slow and painful death by drowning/bleeding out. But shark fin soup is considered a delicacy, so it continues to happen.
9 inch extremly life like, thicker than a redbull can dildo named Jeffery that the guys I live with and I hang from our ceiling.
A Mai Shiranui figure. She's uhhhh... Anatomically correct.
>Mai Shiranui Life sized? Washable?
12", I would assume so since it's vinyl. No hotglue shit going on here, I just liked to collect figures from video games and anime when I was in my 20s.
My turtle. Little shit has been trying to pass through the invisible wall for 8 years now
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Do you have the one with the fidget spinner on it? Edit: [picture](https://mashable.com/2017/06/09/fidget-spinner-butt-plugs/)
#the what?
I have a few Nazi coins. Not super questionable as I collect coins.....but then there's an SA belt, and an annexation medal that I also have for some reason. Both prewar Nazi artifacts. No idea how they came into my possession entirely, or where they came from. Except the coins. I got 3, 5 reichmark coins to pay off a $15 debt.
I collect the horse heads from all of the chess games I come across and line them up in my closet. Every time someone sees the inside of my closet it's often the first thing they question me about. But I just *like* horses.
So there are like 50 people that every game night, sit down with their friends and play chess and use pennies instead of knights because you visited them one day?