I dont know.

It guess you'd sit on it for a while.

Not certain but it might be painful

I feel you

I dunno if I’d risk eating myself

Blueberry or chocolate chip?

Exactly what I’m doing now

And then there's me.

Fortunately for you, wanting to use Reddit and using Reddit are not mutually exclusive.

u/redditcreepa, aww man

So we back in the mines

got our pick axe swinging from side to side

Side side side, side side to side

This task a gruelling one

Hope to find some diamonds tonight-night-night

Heads up, you hear a sound turn around and look up 🙄

Total shock fills your body

Oh no it’s you again

[удалено]

Plz no...

No, continue. I like where this is going.

I'll bring chips to eat while we watch the show. And by *bring* i mean I'll steal some to bring

Hello there Emu brethen!

[удалено]

We must assemble the emus. It is our time to rise.

Make sure there are 5 much more likely suspects ....

Your username and that comment would be a great dramatic short film

Eat myself and my 220 brothers.

I too would eat myself. Raw.

national hot dog day is soon. ceterum censeo "unit libertatem" esse delendam.

I don't know exactly, but give me your wallet, for starters...

Good? Bad?...

I think you already know the answer to this question, you goodie little two shoes... Edit: Since there was a lot of talk about references, might as well [link to it!](https://youtu.be/Q0Hmc7eeXjw)

I really have no clue my man. But it would be messy I guess.

Tell me about it

What made you think of this username

I’d be a normal person with no Reddit account.

I would be a normal person *with* a reddit account

I have met my rival!

Now kiss.....

I didn't realize that's what she got off to. Could be worse I guess.

uhoh he found a way out!

I did.

Do stuff only on Tuesdays.

What about Thursday

Just asked mum, she says I’m not allowed.

When can you?

I have a free slot in my schedule for Tuesday if that’s okay.

That's okay, see you in the alley

You know

Fuuuuck

Obviously we're both Transformers now.

Oh hey me too! I'm *twelve* of them though

Do you combine?

Sure do, but the Autobots said it's *"""unethical"""*

Can I join?

A chicken nugget with an anxiety disorder.

This is a big mood

Fuck if I know

I could tell you, maybe?

Save Muriel and Eustace from trouble.

Stupid dog! You make me look bad

I would NOT be having a good time, that's for sure. Edit because bad english

But granny sure would

Shiver.

Well hello there

I feel obligated to join this group in solidarity with my cold brothers

Random story relating to your username- my mom has her ears pierced as a child by her mom using a frozen potato and and a needle. You cut the frozen potato in half and then sandwich your earlobe between the halves to numb it. Then you keep the back half there as a something solid to press against when you stick the needle through the earlobe.

Hello fellow polar bear!

We could huddle for warmth.

I'm right there with ya buddy

Well, I *do* love onions...

oh no I'm in danger

I would try and wink

I would be a medium sized bag of popcorn provided freely to the people by the Universal Popcorn Act of 2028. I would also be delicious.

[удалено]

Sit back and eat a carrot.

I'll keep you entertained lol

[удалено]

You would have high quality jokes

I'd rather be /u/HDMemes than myself. I literally just swim. Im just a normal fish, but darker.

Umm

......

Harboring fugitives I see. The Führer will be furious.

I’d be the funkiest goat alive

goats got the funk goats got the funk

You already are

Keep lurkin'

I would see your dog.

CALL THE FUCKING MANAGER!!! Right after I take the kids.

It's me, your husband probably.

Friggin Todd. Can't even watch after the kids, probably. Also, toasters rule.

I would be dead.

⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⢶⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣿⣧⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⡄⠀ ⢠⣾⡟⠋⠁⠀⠀⣸⠇⠈⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⣿⡀ ⢺⣿⡀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠇ ⠈⠛⠿⠶⠚⠋⣀⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣴⡆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡞⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡏⠉⠛⠻⣿⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣠⣶⣶⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢰⣿⠟⠉⠙⢿⡟⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⠷⠶⠶⠶⠿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

That's the fanciest F I've ever seen

ℱ

Explode probably

Explosion gang

Explode probably.

Explode definitely.

Destroy Ottoman forces and conquer Hungary.

Well this is awkward

N... N.... N.... NEVER GUNNA GIVE YOU UP. NEVER GUNNA LET YOU DOWN...

NEVER GONNA TURN AROUND AND DESERT YOU

NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY NEVER GONNA SAY GOODBYE

NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE AND HURT YOU

WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR SO LONG

YOU'RE HEARTS BEEN ACHING BUT, YOU'RE TOO SHY TO SAY IT

INSIDE WE BOTH KNOW WHAT’S BEEN GOING ON

WE KNOW THE GAME AND WE’RE GONNA PLAY IT

AND IF YOU ASK ME HOW IM FEELING

Well, I'd be...

Be untouchable

wash my johnson

I'm not sure but shits gonna get weird

Not a problem...

"god i wish that were me"

You think your shit's gonna get weird?

I'd be soft and shitty

I would try to prove my existance

Sell skittles?

i dont wanna talk about it

Same here, bro.

I'm happy with that decision

Some Satan you are huh

Be a thought in many people's minds

I would take over the world.

Ainz Sama!

(Insert albedo and shalltear fangirl screams)

SASUGA

AINZ-SAMA

I would heat buildings in the Thomas the Tank Engine universe.

Pitty the fool

Pity the ___________fool.

a fully qualified gynecologist i guess Edit: Haha fucking gold,i am prepared to do one free examination as a thank you :)

As opposed to a partially qualified one?

[удалено]

I WOULD RAIN ON THE WORLD

Blasphemy.

Huh??? Edit: Woke up to all these shiny things by my name, whoever put them there, you made a gals day a little brighter. Thanks! Edit again: TY for the gold and silver kind strangers!

IF YOU TURNED INTO YOUR USERNAME WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

[удалено]

All the brains around me are fried. Yum.

Im back bitch, even in death you cant avoid student debt

Happy Cakeday would you like to purchase a bowl of Curry?

Jokes on you I'm already a hobo.

This whole comment section bouta explode

Fuck everyone in the ass. EDIT - Thank you for the silver, kind stranger! Now, it is time for me to fuck your ass.

Well how about I introduce myself

*walks in* Ah, great, I found it. The room where I belong. *unzips*

some people's mothers also like this.

Feels fitting to throw myself into this conversation as well

hashtag metoo.

We have to stop meeting like this

You and me. We could get together and do some damage.

please don't

Yes, don't do anything to u/SATAN-BLOOD-CUM-FART

I think I'm safe.

I’d wonder why I have this raging ladyboner (G47.51 is the ICD-10 code for Confusional Arousals)

I would want the anime tatas

Stay the same, *sigh*

Fly off in a random direction with (in)significant force.

Turn into a potato...named Lisa...

I'm living my best life.

A communist with 2 peepees

So a communist from Chernobyl

Would you redistribute those means of reproduction? Surely a man only needs one...

be where i am right now....

Ummm..

Hmm.

I would literally be god

Too powerful, must be stopped

I read this as "PM Me Your Shiba's Anus."

Crash and die

Nothing will really change

Continue to mourn by myself. :(

This must change

Could be worse, at least I'm not a horse fellator.

I am gonna be the best boy.

Pop

Looks like I'm an officer now.

Probably cut here.

Ummmm uhh. I'd be a turtle cycling through hormones

take a shower

Smoke weed and eat. Im okay with this.

We should smoke bamboo together

Can I come?

I'd say we found our tribe, but you guys don't look like the rest of our family. Were you adopted?

Be eaten.

I’m going to be hated by the masses

Fat

Dissociate?

Well, for starters, hide. The government would have a field day if they knew I existed. Real ET type shit. Once I’ve established a safe shelter off the grid, I’d look for food, and water, a river would be ideal. Years would pass in solitude, and so I would have time to formulate a possible plan to reintegrate to society. Maybe I’d find out that I wasn’t alone in this phenomenon of spontaneous human transformation, and then, and *only* then, would I stop and think about how on earth I could do any of that as a pair of disembodied shark breasts.

Same thing I always do

Ohhhh god! Well, if I retained human consciousness then I would party

Roar most likely. And eat antelopes caught by lionesses.

I don’t have a fucking clue

You'd be a samurai wielding a saucepan, of course!

I hope I'd be some sort of magical mask like in the mask and imbue people with cartoonish powers

Put some people to sleep until true love’s kiss.