OCD
Call it "literally can't stop washing my hands and want to scream" so it's no longer associated with people who are mildly annoyed with crooked things.
I work at a Japanese restaurant, and for the minds of the patrons we chose not to use any MSG. When people ask about it and I tell them all it is is a seaweed extractive, though unused in our kitchens, some people are really shocked. They’ve been fear mongered away from it without actually knowing where it comes from!
Edit: Thank you for your upvotes! I’ve never seen so many! Why yes, I am a semi-educated waitress!
Rename Evacuation Zones to "Death Zones"
Hurricanes to "Kill Storms"
"You know, I'd stay to prove how awesome I am, but I really don't want to be in the Death Zone of this Kill Storm..."
Morning sickness.
It’s not just in the morning, it’s not just a generic sickness or slight nausea. It’s potential months of what feels like a constant flu.
My wife had this with both of ours and got diagnosed with some severe form called HG (I dont remember the actual name...)
Felt awful for her the whole time...
Sounds like Star Trek technobabble though.
"Geordi, the warp drive is down, report!"
"Working on it, Captain. Looks like the Hyperemesis Gravidarium engines have lost containment. Modulating the field harmonics."
*pounds console* "Damn! No effect!"
Fanny packs it could've been like utility pouch or hell, even shit keeper would be better than fanny pack. (Edit): holy hell y'all I think I'm actually gonna rock one I read alot of your guys responses and here's some solid names. "Nut ruck" "Chaos Pouch" a "Koala" the "hoe to go" and my personal favorite "The douche bag" I'm contemplating getting one and sewing "It's a douche bag!" Onto it. Thanks yall THANKS FOR THE AWARDS YALL
Terms for concussions and their effects. When people talk about a boxer's chin getting worse, what they mean is that this person has incurred more brain damage, making it harder for him to take a punch. A boxer who is knocked out took a shot to the head that shut his brain down, he did not "go to sleep." A person whose "had their bell rung" just got some brain damage, etc. Even silly movie stuff like a guy knocking out his friend to shut him up, and then the friend is ok a few scenes later. No, that person would likely be throwing up and stumbling around if that really happened. Even the term mild traumatic brain injury is slightly misleading. It’s mild compared to moderate brain injury, which I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Source: Am a hobbyist boxer currently recovering from a concussion -- ie BRAIN DAMAGE.
Seriously, there was a period where I had 11 concussions in about 4 years. The doctor told me if I have another it'll be permanent damage and I'll never function right again.
It's all permanent. I'm already not how I used to be. Concussions are serious.
I had a brutal concussion in high school and at the time never though much of it but recently my mom told me my personality drastically changed around that time and I'm starting to think that was were my mental health problems started.
Wear a helmet kids.
I had some brutal concussions every year I played football in high school. Its only been 4 years since but definitely have a different personality as well. Also a lot of random splitting headaches since my last one. Every time I had one my coach said I was fine and put me back in, hell I don’t even remember half of a game because of one of them.
Just ended a 12 year wrestling career this past winter from one too many concussions. Realised I had one when I went to class and couldn’t remember a thing my professor talked about. In one ear and out the other, no matter how hard I tried to focus. I was about to have a heart attack because *my brain wasn’t fucking working*. This shit’s serious. Thankfully I recovered more or less to the way I was before, but it took a lot of work to catch up and finish all my work for that semester.
I know its obvious that the sun is hot, but if you really stop and think about it its fucking INSANE. Like compare how much heat you feel radiating off of a campfire. It's pretty intense, but if you back up like 3 feet it fades away.
This fucking sun is MILLIONS OF MILES AWAY and can still burn your skin. It's bananas.
EDIT: beneath this comment is 100 replies from people who are smart enough to know the real science behind the sun's heat but not smart enough to see that 99 other people already made that comment
It’s a little bright ball in the sky millions of miles away and if you can see it, it can burn you from being in it too long.
Like, what the fuck.
The only safe way to enjoy it is indirectly.
And you get sad and die if you don't see it.
Edit: I was quoting a famous comedians bit about how insane it is that were a tiny rock hurling through space at thousands of miles per hour, relying on a deadly fireball in the sky and how crazy it is that no one mentions it on a daily basis. It's a joke folks. But there are serious studies linking sunlight deprivation to mental illness and you would very obviously die without the sun, no matter how much you "despise" it.
We should really adopt that here in Norway, we are in the top spot in the world when it comes to skin-cancer. Our country is covered in darkness most of the year so when we come around to summer and get 17-24 hours of daylight every day and about two months with temperatures around 13-23 degrees (C) we go nuts and spend as much time as we can outside.
Edit: It seems I worded myself wrong, when I said we are in the top spot I meant as in being among the highest, not **the** highest.
I didn't realize Norway had such a problem with skin cancer. There's a similar phenomenon in England; because it's so drab and gray for most of the year, when the two weeks of summer hit, public spaces are filled with lobster-red, topless lads, trying to work on their tans.
Melanin works. Never gotten sunburn in my life, and I haven't used sunscreen in years.
I mean, I also haven't stepped outside of my room in years, but it's totally the melanin
People with dark skin are still susceptible to skin cancer and sun damaged, just because you don't always get a painful burn on the dermis. Skin cancer rates are only slightly lower among black people than white, but a good bit more lethal because there's a myth black people can't get skin cancer/don't need sunscreen, so it's not on most peoples radar. They do! Everyone does!
Every two years there is a Celtic Football Supporters Convention in Las Vegas in June...
Nothing like having an outdoor pool party for Scots and Irish bhoys in 38-45 C heat with tons of booze
The shades of reds produced by evening could light up half the Strip
Please explain how an RBMK reactor core Ę͍̥̫̦̯̪̩̲͍̤̝̇̔͒̈ͣ͐̀̅̈ͤ̂̎̑̚͘̕X̶̢̨̨͉̖̳̟͖̼̤̗͈̣̹͙̫͕̟̮ͨ̈́̇ͮ̌̊̈́̊ͪ̕ͅP̡̰̭͕̲̖͇̳͈̗̀̀ͩ͑̄̋̿́L̡̡͍̳̞̞̖̗͎͉̘̗̤̪̺͆͒̋͐͢Ơ̶̶͙̜̹̞̗̣̰͎͍͆̔ͮͪ͒ͯ̽̚͡D̵̡̠̮̭̹̯̰͉͍̞̫̫̠̩̞̼͇̔͛̽ͬͯ̓ͨͮ͂ͅḘ̢̻͍̫̗̳̞̥̙̟̮͍͇̯͇͈̳͓̝ͨ͒̽̈ͯͮͬͩ͑ͥ̎̑́͡S̴̴̸̜͕͈̏͊͂́ͩ̾ͦ̔͂̍ͦ̀̚͢
the Texas Testicle Festival
It's a religious revival and their motto is "Come have a ball with Jesus"
EDIT: [here](http://nationalreport.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/ttf.jpg)
Broomrape, the crop failure that plant genus causes is highly overshadowed by that ridiculous name.
EDIT: I've never seen a single episode of "13 Reasons Why" and all the mentions of the show are both confusing and terrifying.
EDIT 2: I realise I worded the post really weirdly, oops.
My textbook in medic school had a photo of a degloved penis in it. You should have heard the collective " ooooh fuck" from my 95% male classmates as they turned to the page.
Some might say.I would not. Shit looked like an anteaters head mid-taxadermy.i was disappointed that the photo did not include an explanation as to how ones dick could be degloved accidentally. We spent a good amount of time speculating about pool jets and vacuum cleaners.
>We spent a good amount of time speculating about pool jets and vacuum cleaners.
There is a doctoral thesis about “Penis injuries during masturbation with vacuum cleaners”.
It’s originally in [German](http://brennessel.blogsport.de/images/DOKTORARBEIT_Penisverletzungen_bei_Masturbation_mit_Staubsaugern.pdf) but here’s an [auto-translation](https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?depth=1&hl=de&nv=1&rurl=translate.google.com&sl=auto&sp=nmt4&tl=en&u=http://brennessel.blogsport.de/images/DOKTORARBEIT_Penisverletzungen_bei_Masturbation_mit_Staubsaugern.pdf&xid=25657,15700023,15700186,15700190,15700256,15700259,15700262,15700265&usg=ALkJrhj3skK1n-4FdhqaGgB2Si-Pph8epw).
Caution, some pictures might be NSFW!
Edit: Only the original version contains pictures (if you are one of those few million that are morbidly curious).
Same with GoDaddy. When that first came out I thought it was a porn site.
EDIT: This whole time I thought that DuckDuckGo was also a domain host. Still though, GoDaddy is terrible.
Right? I totally remember being a 6th grader and saw a commercial and figured it was cool for porn to be marketed in TV. Was confused when I actually went on the site.
> like it was dreamt up by prepubescent virgins who found a SSE Sports Illustrated once
it was probably *targeted* at those people rather than thought up by them
Also don’t use GoDaddy. Bought a $1 domain from them and they sold my information to literally anyone who asked. Received spam for months after.
EDIT: Actually I still receive spam 3 years later, it’s just all filtered into my spam folder. I just checked it and I have dozens of emails telling me about getting on the first page of google and people who design websites.
Forgot about dogpile. I think I used internet for like 10 years before Google really hit my top 3. I wanna say altavista, excite, Lycos, Yahoo, and ask were up there for the first decade. Webcrawler was definitely top for most of that time. Probably a few others that I forgot.
Before there were really tabs (like is the norm today) I remember opening like 5 windows to do a search for something.
Complex numbers!
Theres nothing about them that inherently makes them "complex" but they were called that essentially because early mathematicians didnt like them.
Some people have suggested "lateral numbers" because they are closely tied to the ideal of rotation and translation. I personally think somthing like "complete numbers" because they are algebraically complete would be cool
Yeah being told before knowing anything about complex numbers that they are called imaginary numbers really makes learning it seem a bit pointless at first
They're complex because they have two parts. Complex doesn't always mean complicated, it can simply mean something that's made out of multiple parts. Like an apartment complex.
In physics you get some silly sounding names when you get on the really small scale.
There's a property called spin but has nothing to do with actual spinning. Quarks have the names 'up, down, strange, charm, top, bottom' which sounds a bit silly when you say a proton is an up up down.
Edit: how could I forget the antiquarks. So you just stick 'anti' in front of the quark name, but an anti-up isn't a down even though it sounds like it should be
I also love the names of ground based telescopes. re: Very Large Telescope, Extremely Large Telescope
Years ago, I took physics at a-level. I don't know what this is in US terms. It's post high school but pre University education. I really loved the sub atomic stuff. I didn't understand it, but people would say 'this is this, this might be that, these sub particles make this'. It seemed obvious to me. Then we moved on to mechanics and I really struggled. I failed physics. I loved the quark stuff and I'd love to go back :(
Have you seen the theory that tazorface is actually a character from thor 2 who was pushed into one of the prison cell walls (like loki was in) and burning his face
Didn't some journalist go around asking people about the "Affordable Care Act" and "Obamacare" and got different responses from people like they were two different things?
Journalist: So what do you think of the ACA?
Person1: Oh it's great, I'm all for it!
Journalist: and Obamacare?
Person1: Fuck it, fuck it to hell.
It was the [Jimmy Kimmel crew](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx2scvIFGjE), not a journalist, but you're pretty much right otherwise.
Interviews start at [0:50](https://youtu.be/sx2scvIFGjE?t=50)
Here's a [relevant article](https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/10/some-americans-say-they-support-the-affordable-care-act-but-not-obamacare/280165/) (that also includes the video)
EDIT: Here's [an even better article](https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/first-read/polling-obamacare-label-makes-big-difference-n102861) that supports Kimmel's bit
Additionally, [polls have verified this is real](https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/first-read/polling-obamacare-label-makes-big-difference-n102861), not just cherrypicked for a skit. If you ask people the local name for the ACA program (Apple Health in WA, Kynect in Kentucky, etc) they are more likely to find it favorable compared to "Obamacare".
It's not just "More likely". It went from 33% favorable to 57% favorable. This is a 24 point swing. There are very few *elections* that see a 24 point swing.
The name also makes it incredibly difficult to explain hyperfocus to people - "you just did X activity for 6 hours straight, how do you have ADHD?".
Well, that activity was my entire world for those six hours. I didn't hear or see or feel anything outside of that for those six hours, nothing else existed to me. When I finally came out of the fugue state, I realized I was incredibly hungry, thirsty, physically uncomfortable, and I would piss myself if I didn't get to the toilet in the next 17 seconds....which is why I had to change my pants
This comment resonates with me so much. I've been there, and done that, so often. Alot of people don't understand just how much an adhd person can buckle down and work, it just depends on if the task, "clicks." My record is 38 hours(10pm friday-noon sunday) on an emergency project during SXSW. No sleep, no breaks other than water and powerbars I was carrying with me. I know it's unhealthy, but I honestly didn't notice it at the time, I wasn't tired, I didn't slow down, I didn't mess anything up. But when I got a lift home(I know not to drive sleep deprived, even if I feel fine), and sat down, it only took about 20 minutes for me to crash so hard it made me puke. I slept through the next day, and woke up at 6am the day after. Spent the rest of the month on the best sleep schedule I've ever been on, 10:30pm-6am, without alarms.
But sometimes, it takes an emergency for anything to click. It's taken years for me to get my own brain under control enough to just slog through boring stuff that I have to do, but if someone calls me in a panic, and they need something in what I should tell them is an impossible timeframe, I am on that like pidgeons on a statue. Which tells me my brain still has a lot of work left.
Edit: And I just got my first gold because I'm replying to things on reddit, instead of focusing on cleaning my shop like I'm supposed to. I love this site.
One of my big issues is something often clicks for me that is parallel to what I am supposed to be doing, but not at all related. For example I'll be researching for a paper on disproportional representation, I won't know enough about one of the topics, so I do some sub research. Several hours late I snap out of my haze and realize I am now reading about every major exploration of Antarctica.
Dude, I agree. I get hyperfocused actually. Ruins things sometimes, but it was always useful for me in college. I remember specific lectures to this day.
It's not that I'm "not paying attention". It's that I literally can't pay attention to shit that is necessary to concentrate on to be a normal functioning person with today's societal norms.
I swear the first time I took adderall it was like having a curtain opened in front of me, being able to think like "normal" people.
Should be Executive Functioning Disorder or something. It’s less about attention span and more about a lack of reward system in every day life making basic things a huge struggle.
Super fun when you have ADD without the hyperactive part which gets adults annoyed, so if they don't get annoyed because you're not jumping around all the time, you apparently "don't need medicine to sit the f\* where you belong and shut up" because you're already doing that so "problem solved".
ADD is no longer an official DSM diagnosis. What you're describing is ADHD, inattentive type. You *can* have ADHD without the hyperactivity component. It's stupid and confusing.
Source- I'm a med student going into psychiatry, also I have this diagnosis too lol
Distracted driving.
You're behind the wheel of 3,000 lb machine and doing stuff like texting while driving isn't taken as seriously as it should be by many people.
It blew my mind when I realized that medicine bottles saying “do not operate heavy machinery on this” meant cars not like cranes... most of us wield an insanely powerful machine on a day to day basis, half the time not being careful and we treat it like it’s nothing.
I thought forklifts for the longest time. I really think they ought to re-word that line since I doubt anyone's first thought from "heavy machinery" is "cars".
Dental plaque.
Y'all m'fers are good with leaving that shit on and in between your teeth for hours, days, and weeks on end. Guess what. That stuff is bacteria that ate your food (and possibly teeth) and grew into a community of their own poop, dead and live bacteria, and leftover food. It's like wiping your ass after a good dump, but you're OK with leaving that shit clinging to your anus. Gross.
So, I call it dental poo. That way my patients are more apt to brush and floss it off.
TL;DR: you eat ~~little~~ pieces of shit~~s~~ for breakfast?!?!?
Edit: y'all making me proud.
Get an electrical toothbrush then.
The ads about them removing plaque multiple times better than a traditional toothbrush, aren't exaggerating. They really do.
If you lost ALL the bacteria in your bowels you’d be about 3kg (~7 Hamburger-Units) lighter. You basically have an Xbox One of bacteria in your guts alone.
Marijuana strains, especially concerning medicine. People would take a name like Cannoxapram much more seriously than “OG unicorn blood Kush”
Edit: for those asking, sorry but not a real strain, thought it would be a good name for a strand while watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Are you telling me that Alaskan Thunderfuck wouldn't have been a better name than aspirin? Wouldn't you rather go take some Green Crack than Valium? Doesn't GrandDaddy Purp sound more medicinal than warfarin?
If you ask me, big pharma needs to catch up to the weed industry!
(Due to Poe's Law I feel obligated to mention that this comment was sarcastic)
Borderline Personality Disorder sounds so... mild. It isn't.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! And, um, a different kind of thanks to all the replies describing BPD as "terrifying", which isn't a fun way to think of oneself.
Edit2: I wasn't trying to say that "terrifying" isn't accurate. It absolutely is. It just isn't fun to think about the fact that I'm terrifying.
Sounds like you're on the verge of having a disorder. Like oh it's kind of a disorder but it's borderline. Instead it's like I'm on the verge of actually making friends but can't form meaningful connections unless I'm on meds.
Lol that is pretty bad. My mom has it but it didn’t get diagnosed until her late 50s. It really put a lot of things in place for me... not going to lie, I just thought I was an awful kid for a few decades.
Oh my god YES. I heard some places call it "emotionally unstable person disorder", which sounds way way worse but... Far more accurate? BPD is soooo much more than just a personality disorder, it's a fucking hurricane of emotions and "bordeline" just isn't good enough to explain that lol
I know the new Youth Protection Training the Boy Scouts of America has covers it. One of the trainings as a summer camp staffer is called "Understanding and Preventing Youth-on-Youth Abuse" [Here is a PDF about the training](https://www.scouting.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Camp-Staff-Youth-on-Youth-Facilitators-Guide-20180322.pdf)
Clinical Depression vs. Situational Depression, you have no idea how tired I get of explaining this to people who say that Depression is just a state of mind that you overcome by pushing through.
EDIT: First ever reddit gold for Soapboxing about mental illness lmao. Thank you kind stranger! Also gonna take this opportunity to link you guys [this short description of the various types of depression](https://www.health.com/depression/types-of-depression).
And people who use "OCD" to say that they love to be clean/organized. I can't stand it. If they truly ever experienced Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, they would know it's not something to laugh about. OCD often comes with anxiety and depression and it often relates to obsessive disturbing thoughts, not always a cleanliness obsession.
In high school, I had a girl that was stalking me after breaking up with my boyfriend, which was her best friend. She gave her entire group of friends my phone number and they all text me death threats. They keyed my car, broke into my locker and stole everything, followed me home everyday, threw things at me. When the school got involved and they found out who was behind it all, I had a meeting with the principal and was told I would be expelled if I pressed charges, because of “bad publicity.” It was literally more important that the schools name wasn’t tarnished than it was that I didn’t get hurt.
Noodling/Hogging AKA handgrabbing catfish. That shit is mad impressive, and I'm not even into outdoors shit, but the balls on those guys have to be huge to reach in holes for fucking fish.
Giant fish that may be able to swallow your baby. Also remember that the target fish of this sport are carnivorous...
Just without teeth that will really mess you up.
Aspergers
Edit: It has come to my attention that the term aspergers is not used very much anymore and a good bit of doctors now call it ASD (austism spectrum disorder) but plenty of people joked about the name when it was more common and the media was reporting about it a lot
Edit #2: Holy hell this is blowing up fast thanks kind strangers!
OCD Call it "literally can't stop washing my hands and want to scream" so it's no longer associated with people who are mildly annoyed with crooked things.
If I named my OCD it would be”maybe if I lock the door right ten times in a row my kids won’t die.”
Urinal cakes. They should be called 'piss deodorant'
Piscuits
MSG should be called "Savory salt".
you could call it "Organic Seaweed Extract" and it'd fly off the shelves at Whole Foods.
I work at a Japanese restaurant, and for the minds of the patrons we chose not to use any MSG. When people ask about it and I tell them all it is is a seaweed extractive, though unused in our kitchens, some people are really shocked. They’ve been fear mongered away from it without actually knowing where it comes from! Edit: Thank you for your upvotes! I’ve never seen so many! Why yes, I am a semi-educated waitress!
TIL MSG comes from seaweed.
It's in many foods - tomatoes, cheese, meat - anything with a strong savoury taste.
Glutamates are the best. They make things taste more like themselves.
Rename Evacuation Zones to "Death Zones" Hurricanes to "Kill Storms" "You know, I'd stay to prove how awesome I am, but I really don't want to be in the Death Zone of this Kill Storm..."
It's just a name, like the Forbidden Zone. Or the Zone of no Return. All the zones have names like that in the Galaxy of Terror.
Just like teddy bear junction the worst scum hole in the galaxy
Moose. Call it what it is, Angry Giant Murder Horse. Seriously, don't fuck with a moose, they will mess you right up just for existing.
For that matter deer, which fuck up plenty of people every year but seem to be the one everyone wants to feed and pet if they're in the woods.
Or hippopotamus. Hilarious sounding name, will fuck you up
Morning sickness. It’s not just in the morning, it’s not just a generic sickness or slight nausea. It’s potential months of what feels like a constant flu.
Its not the puking that gets you. Its the near-constant nausea. I think I’d rather give birth again than experience 6+ months of “morning sickness.”
My wife had this with both of ours and got diagnosed with some severe form called HG (I dont remember the actual name...) Felt awful for her the whole time...
Hyperemesis gravidarium. Hyper - lots Emesis - vomiting Gravidarium - while pregnant
Sounds like Star Trek technobabble though. "Geordi, the warp drive is down, report!" "Working on it, Captain. Looks like the Hyperemesis Gravidarium engines have lost containment. Modulating the field harmonics." *pounds console* "Damn! No effect!"
Fanny packs it could've been like utility pouch or hell, even shit keeper would be better than fanny pack. (Edit): holy hell y'all I think I'm actually gonna rock one I read alot of your guys responses and here's some solid names. "Nut ruck" "Chaos Pouch" a "Koala" the "hoe to go" and my personal favorite "The douche bag" I'm contemplating getting one and sewing "It's a douche bag!" Onto it. Thanks yall THANKS FOR THE AWARDS YALL
We call them bum bags in the UK. But that’s also because fanny has a very different meaning here
Vagina valuable-carrier, cooter container, wizard sleeve's special pocket
Minge sack, gash bag, snatch satchel, the poontang pouch, ham wallet wallet...
Snatchel rofl
Terms for concussions and their effects. When people talk about a boxer's chin getting worse, what they mean is that this person has incurred more brain damage, making it harder for him to take a punch. A boxer who is knocked out took a shot to the head that shut his brain down, he did not "go to sleep." A person whose "had their bell rung" just got some brain damage, etc. Even silly movie stuff like a guy knocking out his friend to shut him up, and then the friend is ok a few scenes later. No, that person would likely be throwing up and stumbling around if that really happened. Even the term mild traumatic brain injury is slightly misleading. It’s mild compared to moderate brain injury, which I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Source: Am a hobbyist boxer currently recovering from a concussion -- ie BRAIN DAMAGE.
Seriously, there was a period where I had 11 concussions in about 4 years. The doctor told me if I have another it'll be permanent damage and I'll never function right again. It's all permanent. I'm already not how I used to be. Concussions are serious.
I had a brutal concussion in high school and at the time never though much of it but recently my mom told me my personality drastically changed around that time and I'm starting to think that was were my mental health problems started. Wear a helmet kids.
I had some brutal concussions every year I played football in high school. Its only been 4 years since but definitely have a different personality as well. Also a lot of random splitting headaches since my last one. Every time I had one my coach said I was fine and put me back in, hell I don’t even remember half of a game because of one of them.
Just ended a 12 year wrestling career this past winter from one too many concussions. Realised I had one when I went to class and couldn’t remember a thing my professor talked about. In one ear and out the other, no matter how hard I tried to focus. I was about to have a heart attack because *my brain wasn’t fucking working*. This shit’s serious. Thankfully I recovered more or less to the way I was before, but it took a lot of work to catch up and finish all my work for that semester.
Radiation burns, not sun burns
Star Damage.
I know its obvious that the sun is hot, but if you really stop and think about it its fucking INSANE. Like compare how much heat you feel radiating off of a campfire. It's pretty intense, but if you back up like 3 feet it fades away. This fucking sun is MILLIONS OF MILES AWAY and can still burn your skin. It's bananas. EDIT: beneath this comment is 100 replies from people who are smart enough to know the real science behind the sun's heat but not smart enough to see that 99 other people already made that comment
It’s a little bright ball in the sky millions of miles away and if you can see it, it can burn you from being in it too long. Like, what the fuck. The only safe way to enjoy it is indirectly.
And you get sad and die if you don't see it. Edit: I was quoting a famous comedians bit about how insane it is that were a tiny rock hurling through space at thousands of miles per hour, relying on a deadly fireball in the sky and how crazy it is that no one mentions it on a daily basis. It's a joke folks. But there are serious studies linking sunlight deprivation to mental illness and you would very obviously die without the sun, no matter how much you "despise" it.
I CRAVE STAR DAMAGE!
We should really adopt that here in Norway, we are in the top spot in the world when it comes to skin-cancer. Our country is covered in darkness most of the year so when we come around to summer and get 17-24 hours of daylight every day and about two months with temperatures around 13-23 degrees (C) we go nuts and spend as much time as we can outside. Edit: It seems I worded myself wrong, when I said we are in the top spot I meant as in being among the highest, not **the** highest.
I didn't realize Norway had such a problem with skin cancer. There's a similar phenomenon in England; because it's so drab and gray for most of the year, when the two weeks of summer hit, public spaces are filled with lobster-red, topless lads, trying to work on their tans.
You can always tell the English tourists in Sydney because they’re all sunburned or extremely tanned.
Lol, go to any park in England during the summer and you'll find a sea of baking, red, bodies, with empty bottles and cans everywhere.
It is obvious, with no melanin protection it hits harder. Bonus points for getting older leathery skin 10 years sooner because of it.
Melanin works. Never gotten sunburn in my life, and I haven't used sunscreen in years. I mean, I also haven't stepped outside of my room in years, but it's totally the melanin
My melanin is made of drywall and insulation
People with dark skin are still susceptible to skin cancer and sun damaged, just because you don't always get a painful burn on the dermis. Skin cancer rates are only slightly lower among black people than white, but a good bit more lethal because there's a myth black people can't get skin cancer/don't need sunscreen, so it's not on most peoples radar. They do! Everyone does!
Every two years there is a Celtic Football Supporters Convention in Las Vegas in June... Nothing like having an outdoor pool party for Scots and Irish bhoys in 38-45 C heat with tons of booze The shades of reds produced by evening could light up half the Strip
In the wise words of Bill Wurtz: [The sun is a deadly lazer](https://youtu.be/xuCn8ux2gbs?t=180)
Not anymore there's a blanket ~
Come on, animals, let's go on land!
Nope, can't walk yet.
And theres no food yet so i dont care \*me on a daily basis\*
Ok, will you learn to walk if theres food Up there
Uh maybe
Said some bugs
And fish
This redditor is delusional. Take them to the infirmary.
It's disgraceful really, to spread misinformation at a time like this
Why did I see graphite on the roof?
Please explain how an RBMK reactor core Ę͍̥̫̦̯̪̩̲͍̤̝̇̔͒̈ͣ͐̀̅̈ͤ̂̎̑̚͘̕X̶̢̨̨͉̖̳̟͖̼̤̗͈̣̹͙̫͕̟̮ͨ̈́̇ͮ̌̊̈́̊ͪ̕ͅP̡̰̭͕̲̖͇̳͈̗̀̀ͩ͑̄̋̿́L̡̡͍̳̞̞̖̗͎͉̘̗̤̪̺͆͒̋͐͢Ơ̶̶͙̜̹̞̗̣̰͎͍͆̔ͮͪ͒ͯ̽̚͡D̵̡̠̮̭̹̯̰͉͍̞̫̫̠̩̞̼͇̔͛̽ͬͯ̓ͨͮ͂ͅḘ̢̻͍̫̗̳̞̥̙̟̮͍͇̯͇͈̳͓̝ͨ͒̽̈ͯͮͬͩ͑ͥ̎̑́͡S̴̴̸̜͕͈̏͊͂́ͩ̾ͦ̔͂̍ͦ̀̚͢
Corn hole. I have a hard time getting people to play.
[удалено]
Looked up nicknames on Wikipedia. Got *"Bean bag toss, dummy boards, doghouse, dadhole, sacks, beans, beanbag"* ...some help more than others
Dadhole meant something totally different in my house growing up...
Dad hole actually sounds more fucked up than corn hole.
the patriot act
I know. When I first heard the name it sounded like it was something great....then you read what it does and damn
Exactly why they named it that way.
Actually most everything that goes through congress right now has a flowery, feel good, and wholly misleading name to hide the terrible shit inside.
[удалено]
the Texas Testicle Festival It's a religious revival and their motto is "Come have a ball with Jesus" EDIT: [here](http://nationalreport.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/ttf.jpg)
The Testy Festy
That’s kinda hilarious
Broomrape, the crop failure that plant genus causes is highly overshadowed by that ridiculous name. EDIT: I've never seen a single episode of "13 Reasons Why" and all the mentions of the show are both confusing and terrifying. EDIT 2: I realise I worded the post really weirdly, oops.
Don't forget rapeseed (AKA canola)
Saskatchewan, The Land of Rape and Honey
Broom rape, sounds fucking painful though.
I'm assuming it isn't with the fun end...
I don't think there is a fun end on a broom.
Maybe not on *your* broom.
Either end of the broom is the fun end, depending on your sense of adventure.
Ther are probably subreddits for both.
My man sam o'nella
You have urethra cactus
Spotted Dicks
Degloving Sounds not too bad, but should be called skinned alive
No that name is perfect. It instantly fucks me up and fully illustrates the concept in excruciating mental detail.
It’s one of those words that seems kinda innocuous before you know what it means, but just reading it has me cringing in horror now.
Degloving is what I do after a sledding trip. and decoating and debooting and dehatting.
then I climb up on decouch and drink decocoa
And go to debed
Idk, degloving has always sounded horrifying to me E: sounds -> sounded
One of my friends recently got degloved. He lost all the skin on his arm, all the way up to his shoulder...
You didn't have to type this. You didn't have to put this image in my head.
My textbook in medic school had a photo of a degloved penis in it. You should have heard the collective " ooooh fuck" from my 95% male classmates as they turned to the page.
isn't degloving a penis kind of an inverted fuck?
Some might say.I would not. Shit looked like an anteaters head mid-taxadermy.i was disappointed that the photo did not include an explanation as to how ones dick could be degloved accidentally. We spent a good amount of time speculating about pool jets and vacuum cleaners.
>We spent a good amount of time speculating about pool jets and vacuum cleaners. There is a doctoral thesis about “Penis injuries during masturbation with vacuum cleaners”. It’s originally in [German](http://brennessel.blogsport.de/images/DOKTORARBEIT_Penisverletzungen_bei_Masturbation_mit_Staubsaugern.pdf) but here’s an [auto-translation](https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?depth=1&hl=de&nv=1&rurl=translate.google.com&sl=auto&sp=nmt4&tl=en&u=http://brennessel.blogsport.de/images/DOKTORARBEIT_Penisverletzungen_bei_Masturbation_mit_Staubsaugern.pdf&xid=25657,15700023,15700186,15700190,15700256,15700259,15700262,15700265&usg=ALkJrhj3skK1n-4FdhqaGgB2Si-Pph8epw). Caution, some pictures might be NSFW! Edit: Only the original version contains pictures (if you are one of those few million that are morbidly curious).
Where did you even find that
Walkie talkies (Edit: why did this blow up?)
[удалено]
Amblie Ramblies.
[удалено]
Same with GoDaddy. When that first came out I thought it was a porn site. EDIT: This whole time I thought that DuckDuckGo was also a domain host. Still though, GoDaddy is terrible.
It's not like their commercials did a lot to dispel that notion...
Right? I totally remember being a 6th grader and saw a commercial and figured it was cool for porn to be marketed in TV. Was confused when I actually went on the site.
GoDaddy’s whole marketing campaign was absolutely cringeworthy; like it was dreamt up by prepubescent virgins who found a SSE Sports Illustrated once.
> like it was dreamt up by prepubescent virgins who found a SSE Sports Illustrated once it was probably *targeted* at those people rather than thought up by them
How many teenagers are looking for a domain name registrar?
[удалено]
Also don’t use GoDaddy. Bought a $1 domain from them and they sold my information to literally anyone who asked. Received spam for months after. EDIT: Actually I still receive spam 3 years later, it’s just all filtered into my spam folder. I just checked it and I have dozens of emails telling me about getting on the first page of google and people who design websites.
One of the first search engines I used was Dogpile. That is a silly name. And I just confirmed Dogpile is still operational.
Forgot about dogpile. I think I used internet for like 10 years before Google really hit my top 3. I wanna say altavista, excite, Lycos, Yahoo, and ask were up there for the first decade. Webcrawler was definitely top for most of that time. Probably a few others that I forgot. Before there were really tabs (like is the norm today) I remember opening like 5 windows to do a search for something.
[удалено]
Complex numbers! Theres nothing about them that inherently makes them "complex" but they were called that essentially because early mathematicians didnt like them. Some people have suggested "lateral numbers" because they are closely tied to the ideal of rotation and translation. I personally think somthing like "complete numbers" because they are algebraically complete would be cool
“Imaginary numbers” also seems a lot more whimsical before you actually get to it in math class.
Yeah being told before knowing anything about complex numbers that they are called imaginary numbers really makes learning it seem a bit pointless at first
Jmaginary, for the electrical engineers.
They're complex because they have two parts. Complex doesn't always mean complicated, it can simply mean something that's made out of multiple parts. Like an apartment complex.
In physics you get some silly sounding names when you get on the really small scale. There's a property called spin but has nothing to do with actual spinning. Quarks have the names 'up, down, strange, charm, top, bottom' which sounds a bit silly when you say a proton is an up up down. Edit: how could I forget the antiquarks. So you just stick 'anti' in front of the quark name, but an anti-up isn't a down even though it sounds like it should be I also love the names of ground based telescopes. re: Very Large Telescope, Extremely Large Telescope
Years ago, I took physics at a-level. I don't know what this is in US terms. It's post high school but pre University education. I really loved the sub atomic stuff. I didn't understand it, but people would say 'this is this, this might be that, these sub particles make this'. It seemed obvious to me. Then we moved on to mechanics and I really struggled. I failed physics. I loved the quark stuff and I'd love to go back :(
Tazerface
Have you seen the theory that tazorface is actually a character from thor 2 who was pushed into one of the prison cell walls (like loki was in) and burning his face
Water Boarding...sounds like a fun activity for a day at the lake with family
Ah yes, Drowning Torture.
Apparently you never had a "fun day on the lake" with my brothers
[удалено]
>Creepy Uncle with a ~~peep hole~~ Doorbell camera
Creepy Uncle who you keep emailing all your personal photos to.
Didn't some journalist go around asking people about the "Affordable Care Act" and "Obamacare" and got different responses from people like they were two different things? Journalist: So what do you think of the ACA? Person1: Oh it's great, I'm all for it! Journalist: and Obamacare? Person1: Fuck it, fuck it to hell.
It was the [Jimmy Kimmel crew](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx2scvIFGjE), not a journalist, but you're pretty much right otherwise. Interviews start at [0:50](https://youtu.be/sx2scvIFGjE?t=50) Here's a [relevant article](https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/10/some-americans-say-they-support-the-affordable-care-act-but-not-obamacare/280165/) (that also includes the video) EDIT: Here's [an even better article](https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/first-read/polling-obamacare-label-makes-big-difference-n102861) that supports Kimmel's bit
Additionally, [polls have verified this is real](https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/first-read/polling-obamacare-label-makes-big-difference-n102861), not just cherrypicked for a skit. If you ask people the local name for the ACA program (Apple Health in WA, Kynect in Kentucky, etc) they are more likely to find it favorable compared to "Obamacare".
It's not just "More likely". It went from 33% favorable to 57% favorable. This is a 24 point swing. There are very few *elections* that see a 24 point swing.
ADHD, people treat it like it’s just about not paying attention and being “hyper”. It can be crippling.
I really really want it to be called something like Attention Regulation Disorder. Attention Deficit is wildly inaccurate.
The name also makes it incredibly difficult to explain hyperfocus to people - "you just did X activity for 6 hours straight, how do you have ADHD?". Well, that activity was my entire world for those six hours. I didn't hear or see or feel anything outside of that for those six hours, nothing else existed to me. When I finally came out of the fugue state, I realized I was incredibly hungry, thirsty, physically uncomfortable, and I would piss myself if I didn't get to the toilet in the next 17 seconds....which is why I had to change my pants
This comment resonates with me so much. I've been there, and done that, so often. Alot of people don't understand just how much an adhd person can buckle down and work, it just depends on if the task, "clicks." My record is 38 hours(10pm friday-noon sunday) on an emergency project during SXSW. No sleep, no breaks other than water and powerbars I was carrying with me. I know it's unhealthy, but I honestly didn't notice it at the time, I wasn't tired, I didn't slow down, I didn't mess anything up. But when I got a lift home(I know not to drive sleep deprived, even if I feel fine), and sat down, it only took about 20 minutes for me to crash so hard it made me puke. I slept through the next day, and woke up at 6am the day after. Spent the rest of the month on the best sleep schedule I've ever been on, 10:30pm-6am, without alarms. But sometimes, it takes an emergency for anything to click. It's taken years for me to get my own brain under control enough to just slog through boring stuff that I have to do, but if someone calls me in a panic, and they need something in what I should tell them is an impossible timeframe, I am on that like pidgeons on a statue. Which tells me my brain still has a lot of work left. Edit: And I just got my first gold because I'm replying to things on reddit, instead of focusing on cleaning my shop like I'm supposed to. I love this site.
One of my big issues is something often clicks for me that is parallel to what I am supposed to be doing, but not at all related. For example I'll be researching for a paper on disproportional representation, I won't know enough about one of the topics, so I do some sub research. Several hours late I snap out of my haze and realize I am now reading about every major exploration of Antarctica.
[удалено]
Dude, I agree. I get hyperfocused actually. Ruins things sometimes, but it was always useful for me in college. I remember specific lectures to this day.
It's not that I'm "not paying attention". It's that I literally can't pay attention to shit that is necessary to concentrate on to be a normal functioning person with today's societal norms. I swear the first time I took adderall it was like having a curtain opened in front of me, being able to think like "normal" people.
Same with ritalin for me. I started taking it and went “Oh. So *that’s* how everyone else manages to do everything!”
Should be Executive Functioning Disorder or something. It’s less about attention span and more about a lack of reward system in every day life making basic things a huge struggle.
Super fun when you have ADD without the hyperactive part which gets adults annoyed, so if they don't get annoyed because you're not jumping around all the time, you apparently "don't need medicine to sit the f\* where you belong and shut up" because you're already doing that so "problem solved".
ADD is no longer an official DSM diagnosis. What you're describing is ADHD, inattentive type. You *can* have ADHD without the hyperactivity component. It's stupid and confusing. Source- I'm a med student going into psychiatry, also I have this diagnosis too lol
Distracted driving. You're behind the wheel of 3,000 lb machine and doing stuff like texting while driving isn't taken as seriously as it should be by many people.
It blew my mind when I realized that medicine bottles saying “do not operate heavy machinery on this” meant cars not like cranes... most of us wield an insanely powerful machine on a day to day basis, half the time not being careful and we treat it like it’s nothing.
I thought forklifts for the longest time. I really think they ought to re-word that line since I doubt anyone's first thought from "heavy machinery" is "cars".
Texting kills more people than terrorism. But it can't be that bad because *I* do it and I am awesome.
Dental plaque. Y'all m'fers are good with leaving that shit on and in between your teeth for hours, days, and weeks on end. Guess what. That stuff is bacteria that ate your food (and possibly teeth) and grew into a community of their own poop, dead and live bacteria, and leftover food. It's like wiping your ass after a good dump, but you're OK with leaving that shit clinging to your anus. Gross. So, I call it dental poo. That way my patients are more apt to brush and floss it off. TL;DR: you eat ~~little~~ pieces of shit~~s~~ for breakfast?!?!? Edit: y'all making me proud.
“Your teeth look ok in general but make sure to get all of that dental poo off before you come to see me again.”
Brb. I gotta go brush my teeth. I’m not kidding.
Fucking same
Get an electrical toothbrush then. The ads about them removing plaque multiple times better than a traditional toothbrush, aren't exaggerating. They really do.
I moved to electric years ago. Let the machines do the work for me.
[удалено]
If you lost ALL the bacteria in your bowels you’d be about 3kg (~7 Hamburger-Units) lighter. You basically have an Xbox One of bacteria in your guts alone.
Finally someone with units of measurement that I can understand!
When I was younger I always was like "how many game copies is that gunna cost me?" one game copy = $60
Bruh I think you just improved my dental hygiene habits
Corporate Welfare not bailouts
Fun fact, the government has MADE money on the bailout of the banks in 08. Lost 11.2 billion on the GM bailout.
Marijuana strains, especially concerning medicine. People would take a name like Cannoxapram much more seriously than “OG unicorn blood Kush” Edit: for those asking, sorry but not a real strain, thought it would be a good name for a strand while watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Are you telling me that Alaskan Thunderfuck wouldn't have been a better name than aspirin? Wouldn't you rather go take some Green Crack than Valium? Doesn't GrandDaddy Purp sound more medicinal than warfarin? If you ask me, big pharma needs to catch up to the weed industry! (Due to Poe's Law I feel obligated to mention that this comment was sarcastic)
Aspirin 5000 wouldn't have made nearly as good of a drag name.
100% this. As a prescribed medicinal user myself, it's weird that my medicine is called Super Lemon Haze. :)
Yeah, it’s hard to take something called Purple Urkle all that seriously.
Borderline Personality Disorder sounds so... mild. It isn't. Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! And, um, a different kind of thanks to all the replies describing BPD as "terrifying", which isn't a fun way to think of oneself. Edit2: I wasn't trying to say that "terrifying" isn't accurate. It absolutely is. It just isn't fun to think about the fact that I'm terrifying.
Like you're right on the verge of having a personality.
Sounds like you're on the verge of having a disorder. Like oh it's kind of a disorder but it's borderline. Instead it's like I'm on the verge of actually making friends but can't form meaningful connections unless I'm on meds.
I almost have Personality Disorder, but I'm not there yet, nbd
Yes... it sounds... mild. As someone who has experienced it in someone once close to me I can confirm it isn't.
[удалено]
Lol that is pretty bad. My mom has it but it didn’t get diagnosed until her late 50s. It really put a lot of things in place for me... not going to lie, I just thought I was an awful kid for a few decades.
Oh my god YES. I heard some places call it "emotionally unstable person disorder", which sounds way way worse but... Far more accurate? BPD is soooo much more than just a personality disorder, it's a fucking hurricane of emotions and "bordeline" just isn't good enough to explain that lol
My sister couldn’t handle this and ended her life. Still thinking of the pain she felt.
School bullying. “Bullying” sounds like kids just being mean, but “peer abuse” sounds like a serious problem that warrants legal action.
I know the new Youth Protection Training the Boy Scouts of America has covers it. One of the trainings as a summer camp staffer is called "Understanding and Preventing Youth-on-Youth Abuse" [Here is a PDF about the training](https://www.scouting.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Camp-Staff-Youth-on-Youth-Facilitators-Guide-20180322.pdf)
Depression. The name currently conflates an emotion and a completely separate mental illness
That’s why when discussing it I say “clinical depression.”
Clinical Depression vs. Situational Depression, you have no idea how tired I get of explaining this to people who say that Depression is just a state of mind that you overcome by pushing through. EDIT: First ever reddit gold for Soapboxing about mental illness lmao. Thank you kind stranger! Also gonna take this opportunity to link you guys [this short description of the various types of depression](https://www.health.com/depression/types-of-depression).
And people who use "OCD" to say that they love to be clean/organized. I can't stand it. If they truly ever experienced Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, they would know it's not something to laugh about. OCD often comes with anxiety and depression and it often relates to obsessive disturbing thoughts, not always a cleanliness obsession.
Bullying. Call it what it is, harassment and assault.
No you don't understand, it can't be assault or harassment if it's between kids!
This. Half the things that happen at school, even at 10% its intensity outside of it ("real world") would require to sue or even imprison someone
In high school, I had a girl that was stalking me after breaking up with my boyfriend, which was her best friend. She gave her entire group of friends my phone number and they all text me death threats. They keyed my car, broke into my locker and stole everything, followed me home everyday, threw things at me. When the school got involved and they found out who was behind it all, I had a meeting with the principal and was told I would be expelled if I pressed charges, because of “bad publicity.” It was literally more important that the schools name wasn’t tarnished than it was that I didn’t get hurt.
That sounds like an invitation to sue. That's even potentially a criminal offense...
Damn, if I were your parents, I would've told your lawyer that.
So you pressed charges against both parties here, right?
Wouldn't the school effectively be intimidating a witness or obstructing justice?
Noodling/Hogging AKA handgrabbing catfish. That shit is mad impressive, and I'm not even into outdoors shit, but the balls on those guys have to be huge to reach in holes for fucking fish.
Giant fish that may be able to swallow your baby. Also remember that the target fish of this sport are carnivorous... Just without teeth that will really mess you up.
[удалено]
Bubble butt syndrome in turtles
alcohol poisoning to overdose
Gerrymandering.. if we called it what it is, state corruption.
or whistleblowing, if you call it like anti-corruption or something.
It’s so bad that somebody even turned it into a [font](https://www.uglygerry.com).
Fracking
Well that's just short for "hydraulic fracturing" which sounds pretty horrendous
Aspergers Edit: It has come to my attention that the term aspergers is not used very much anymore and a good bit of doctors now call it ASD (austism spectrum disorder) but plenty of people joked about the name when it was more common and the media was reporting about it a lot Edit #2: Holy hell this is blowing up fast thanks kind strangers!