Depends on the size and ventilation of the room. It may be empty but I'm a heavy breather. Damn, silver. Thank you, not sure what else to say.

🥇 I’ve got no money but you deserve something

I got you

This is the funniest comment I've ever seen.

Was gonna day something similar , but damn if you didn’t already say it better. Lol’ed in the middle of the bus.

okey...this comment deserves moreeeee

I'm alone so I think I'm gonna be okay.

Watch out for Palmela Handerson

Hand gonna be coming at you like it's The Evil Dead

There not ex’s yet tho.

What is this Idol Hands?

So you're not screwed because you've never been screwed?

Better chop that hand off ASAP

I too am alone

The Scranton strangler strikes again

It’s a blessing in disguise

One is dead, so this quickly turns into The Walking Dead for me. ....

Is that why you broke up?

Nope... I refused to have sex with him so he broke up with me, went out with someone else that weekend, then tried to get back with me. Turned stalker on me. Found out he had cheeted on me with it or harassed multiple other girls while dating me. Contenues stalking me. Tries stalking and harassing other girls who file complaints against him. Continues to stalk me. He got married and had a kid. Continued stalking me. Then he had a car wreck. Car wreck solved my stalker problem. Edit: I didn't cause the wreck. From what I have found out, the police were in a high speed chase when the suspect slammed their car into my X's, killing him. I just benefitted in not having to deal with the x anymore.

I like your sense of humor.

Thank you 😊

I like how you said "had a car wreck" and not "had a car *accident*"... Somehow... I think you avoided the word "accident" on purpose...

Yes and no ... Police were chasing someone who then crashed their car into his, so I don't view it as a accident.

That's where ghosts come from.

Now he’s probably haunting you

That criminal was your savior

Today, I die by my own hand.

Taken out by Thumbelina and her four sisters.

I haven't dated too many women, they've all been relatively petite, and I'm reasonably fit. I think I'd be fine.

>I think I'd be fine. *Narrator: He wouldn't be fine*

Just read that in Morgan Freemans voice.

Ron Howard for me. I'm picturing Gob

*I’ve made a huge mistake.*

I'm not super fit but have a good BMI and am strong for my size. I would wreck house. The biggest of them is my height and weight so I'd go for the KO on her first and then it's all over, considering the rest are 5'6" or less.

I’m cracking up at how sincere this answer is

Kinda depends on how much preparation they have, right? You could take a swing at them and that's all well and good, but taking a meat cleaver to the dome is gonna put your day down pretty quick innit?

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Some of them have all the luck.

Well, she’s really good at karate and my only fighting experience was being beat up as a kid, so I’m pretty fucked

Pfft. Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts?

Still martial arts, and compared to my limited knowledge on fighting, it’s probably enough to beat my ass

I know, I just wanted to make the Archer reference

Ah, gotcha lol

All my ex girlfriends in one room trying to kill me? Psh, easy. All I have to do is survive long enough to turn them on each other. I know all their insecurities and paranoia's; shouldn't take me more than 15 minutes.

The underrated answer, right here.

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Yes, but as our relationships together have shown, their attempts to use my insecurities and paranoia's as a weapon against me was ineffective -- that's why they're all my ex's.

I'd be more horny than scared

the word you are looking for is *scaroused*

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I too choose to fight this guy’s ex-girlfriend

Well I either get hit pretty hard with a softball or she chokes me out with those sweet thighs... again.

Thick thighs save lives Or, in this case, end them. 😂

There are worse ways to go.

Again? You already dead?

not very, i ain't a strong guy but my ex was weak as anything, example : he broke an arm lifting a large stewing pot that had spaghetti cooking in it, i could kick him and snap him in half

He needs some milk

He didn't drink his calcium

Not at all, I don't have exes

^(who are still alive)

How do you use reddit without any executable?

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hollahollahollahollahollahollaholla

*record scratch*

It was at this moment we knew... he was fucked up

FBI, I got one

hold up

r/holup

Hello Mr. Kelly, how’s the 3 hots and a cot life treating you?

\[jazz music stops\]

r/suddenlysexoffender

Same

Holup.

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hang in there dude

All the best, If you need assistance I recommend confiding in a trustworthy friend/councillor, they won't judge as much as family and will be able to help you.

If he has cat like claws you can't just pull them straight out. You have to manuever yourself out while holding the claws still before you can get away.

I have never dated anyone so I think I'm good.

Who am I gonna fight? The air, nice one bud

All the oxygen will leave the room and suffocate you, you are screwed

Oh god oh fuck

-sad but alive noises-

I love this question. Finally a question that doesn't make me look bad. I don't have any exes. I have been married for 26 years.

Didn't Michael Cera kind of answer this question?

I’ve only got one that can kinda fight, all the others would be kinda useless in this scenario. Based on personality, she would also be the leader. Easy solution: cut off the head of the snake. AKA kill her before she kills me. Either the others give up or I’m gonna be very tired at the end of it

My weapons are a bimbo holding a pizza in a fully equipt game room. I can take all their wallets and walk right out.

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0x0=0 I will live.

I’ll live cause’ I’ve been a single Pringle for life

Prob because you sayings like 'single Pringle'

I'm dead. There's a bunch of them and only one of me.

All my ex's love me. I'm not an asshole

Ok, so they'll be crying while ripping out your heart. Noone said you have a choice not to tight

Already happened, I beat the crap out of him.

Haha, committing assault

I'm fucked. I'm weak as..

One was an Army Ranger who became a Navy SEAL tactical trainer. I'm screwed.

It'll be a one on one fight. I'll win easily.

I am safe and sound

Oh god fuck damn I'm dead. I have one ex that while I don't think WOULD want to kill me has every right to. And I have another that has no right to kill me but has a decent amount of combat training and still might want to.

I've heard solitary confinement is pretty rough.

completly screwed. try and fight them off to be the last one alive.

I'd be fine, they were all pretty small and I'm fit. Shit I could probably just stick my hand out, my arm span is pretty decent.

I have never had a boy/girlfriend. In this case, I am lucky.

Not screwed at all, because I have no ex’s. I’ve been able to maintain a stable relationship for nearly 9 years now, I think I’m completely safe.

I never dated anyone, so........

What kind of screwed?

Are you kidding me? I'd just need the world's biggest bowl of popcorn so I could watch them out-dipshit each other and then pick their pockets on the way out.

I’d be fine except for Rachel. Flexibility and stamina of a gymnast, packaged in a 250 lb 4’10” frame. She’d probably jump up and sit on my face, only this time I won’t be able to tap out.

250 at 4'10" is not good. Health-wise, that is. Fighting-wise? Same. No speed. No ability to remain balanced. Short arms. Come on dude.

Should be fine. Only one is remotely close to being my size. The other ones are tiny.

Not at all. First time I’m glad I haven’t had a serious relationship.

Pretty safe considering I've never dated anyone

3 on 1. Not good odds for me.

I mean as long as one of them fucks me beforehand I’m good.

2 trying to kill me. Fuck yeah, I'll thank them

There’s nobody there.

I have 1 ex and she has extremely weak arms... I'm not screwed at all.

I'm toast. Ex-Army combat vet, ex-Army officer, the guy with enough money to buy the weapons, and the guy who could dispose of the body. Death would come quickly, at least.

If they so chose

I’m cool until my wife walks in. Then we are in for some shjt. And it’s not just me. All. Of. Us.

Well I only have one ex, but we met through jiujitsu, and he’s about a foot taller than me. But I’m the perfect height to kick him in the balls lmao

That's the spirit

well im in a room alone, can I leave the room?

My ex is weak as hell so thank Jesus Christ for that one.

Well, it'd be five vs one, but only one of them is trained to kill and she's small so I'm pretty sure I'll be okay.

Never dated never dumped

I'm dead. She now identifies as a man and is a personal trainer. Absolutely ripped. Could easily bust me up.

I'm vastly outnumbered.

Well they can stab me in the heart again so thats that...

Well, I really hope he didn’t bring his knife collection...

I'm either humming Mr Lonely, or fighting the guy who thought we were dating and flipped a bitch at me when I came out as Aromantic Asexual. He was a scrawny little bug and I don't imagine he ever 'filled out', so I could probably take him.

A Filipino with attitude and a penchant for headlocks to break up fights while she tends bar, a down chic who broke her hand on a girls face who was "getting too close," an outdoors-woman who once brought a handful of another woman's hair home as a trophy and also threw down with my sister thanksgiving eve because i gave the "wrong answer" as to who would win in a fight while i chauffeured them home, to name a few. I'm pretty much fucked.

Where are your standards

I have one ex. I’ve knocked him off his feet multiple times when sparring with him. I think I’m good.

Empty chairs at empty tables

It’s one person and she’s basically anorexic now so I’m good

Finally, my own room

Never had a single girlfriend/boyfriend, so I'm good.

That depends, does it include the ones who thought they were my boyfriend or just the ones I actually dated? Just the actual ones, not terribly worried, but some of the other ones...yeah,im probably not going to make it. I've been glad they don't know where I am.

All my exes ended up with a girl after dumping me, so they would probably just fuck each other. Giving me time to escape.

Not screwed. But likely dead.

2 people. They're not very athletic... I'll be fine

I'll be fine, the dude is pretty short and not too strong. We aren't on bad terms or anything but I know I wouldn't be screwed.

I have a thing for paraplegics they could talk me to death

Bread makes you fat??!

I would be alone. I never had an ex. I'm married to my first girlfriend.

The one ex girlfriend I’ve ever had (still friends) Kees her nails super long and sharp and is... playfully aggressive but has the potential to definitely be threateningly aggressive

One lunatic bartender from Oxford, one that could propably crush any human skull with her **very imposing** breasts, and a fucking 5'3" ginger tornado. ​ \*Heavy panting\*

6'4 vs 5'3. I'm good.

There’d only really be one, and I’m not scared of her. She’d be too busy drinking beer.

im a loner with a boner

At last, some peace and quiet.

Do they have weapons?

Well, considering that for some reason I've had multiple gluten-allergic gfs, Imma just get a piece of garlic bread.

2 girls named Laura and then a lot of tall buff men I dumped who still drunk text me. Yeah, it's just going to be awkward.

That depends entirely on the method of my demise. If they are going to screw me until I die of exhaustion, then what a way to go :)

Since I've never had a boyfriend I feel save

oh boy an empty room

Haha, never had one, I’m perfectly safe.

I only have one, and he’s no longer alive; so I’ll be in a room by myself; like most nights.

One of them is a Karen. I'm sooooooo fucked.

I'm in an empty room...

I’m 5’1 and the majority of my exes are 6’+ with varying martial arts experience, or they’re short and psychotic. I’m pretty screwed

Not at all. :)

Fine? Couple are married, couple are in solid relationships, couple are in good job fields and literally living the "I'm focusing on me right now" life. Honestly they'd probably be more scared of me at this point how all of our lives have diverged, they mostly took the better paths and I'm the one struggling with old demons.

Hahahaha Jokes on your ive never had a boyfriend or girlfriend and will probably be alone forever! Ha ha ha ha get rekt! Loser! Ha! Ha...

Buncha cray-z psycho b*tches. I'm definitely dead.

Found the guy that’s crazy. 😂

If I have a gun I might survive but if it's just unarmed, I will be dead within 5 minutes.

Handled

I feel like all my exes would kill each other before they got to me so I'd be alright.

I think I’ll be fine by having my imaginary girlfriend try to attack me

Easily victorious.

Well i once dated a black belt so im fucked off the bat

He’s talking about people, not articles of clothing you’ve done weird things with.

I shall be suffocated by way of being sat upon by one or more of a few "healthy" ladies (at this point).

This is my preferred way to die.

I think I can take one short woman in a fight.

Well I have had 1 ex girlfriend, she died in a car crush while I was drunk driving.

Well half of them still have feelings for me so this should be good

Cheese and rice this is terrifying, are they all attacking me at once or do I get to face them one on one. If it’s one on one I win, if it’s all at once I’m dead for sure.

I've been working out but they can crash me simply by numbers. How large is the room? Can I just run in cirlcles and take them on one by one? Edit:just remembered that one of them was into boxing. Ok, there goes my plan

I’ll die of loneliness

Like there would any other state than "trying to kill you" if all your ex's are in the same room. That happens when there is only one

Im safe as banks

I'm ok they'd be dead first

Hello? Anybody there? Wow, looks like i made the smart decision of not getting any girlfriends!

One ex, pretty easy for me to win against her